I had never before seen The Heart Skit when our campus minister Neal gave us the thirty second plotline. Three or four of us volunteered to be the protagonist, but Jessica chose me. I kept quiet while they discussed who would be the man to break my heart. They unanimously decided on Neal. After making sure no one else wanted the part, Neal agreed. Due to time constraints, the final cast was not able to practice together.
That night, the magnitude of the skit hit me.
1. I was going to have my heart broken on stage in a silent skit. Can you say: FACIAL EXPRESSIONS?
2. I was going to have to flirt with my married campus minister.
I prayed for emotional strength and thought about boundaries.
During church the following morning, Neal and I took opposite sides of the stage. In my hands I held a paper heart. Neal's object was to romance me until I gave him my heart. We made eye contact and showed embarrassment. He waved; I giggled. He took a deep breath and stepped closer to me. I looked away and made the same move. He put his arm around me; I leaned into him. He reached out for my heart, and I pulled away. He hugged me, I hesitated before surrendering the heart. We both smiled from ear to ear. He took my hand and paraded me around. He pointed into the distance, I looked, and he planted a kiss on my cheek. I blushed.
Was NOT expecting that.
From the side of the stage came another girl. His attention shifted. I tried to pull him back but he pulled away. From behind, I wrapped both of my arms around his waist; he dragged me across the stage. Using his foot, he pushed me off. I stumbled backwards, regained my balance, and ran at him, jumping for my heart. He pointed to the heart, pointed to me, pointed back to the heart, and got a devious look.
He took his hand off the other girl long enough to rip my heart to pieces and throw them on the ground.
I fell to the ground with my broken heart.
A friend walked by, picked up a piece of my heart, looked at it, dropped it, stomped on it, and walked away.
Two friends came and tried to help me piece it together. When they let go, my heart fell apart again.
I sat on my knees trying to put my heart back together like a puzzle. It didn't work.
Brett knelt at my side. He put one hand on my back and a Bible in my lap. His eyes dripping compassion, he pointed up, crossed his arms over his chest, and pointed to me. I turned away. He tapped me and pointed to the Bible. I pushed him away.
Alone I sat, cupping the pieces of my heart to my chest. It wasn't working. I sat them down and turned my interest to the Bible Brett gave me. I hesitated, closed the broken heart into the Bible, sat back, and prayed. I waited until the camera flashes stopped. I opened the Bible and tucked in the Psalms was a brand new heart!
Praise the LORD! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting...He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:1, 3
I love the image of being healed in Christ represented in this skit. But I think it's oversimplified.
Heart breaks are very real; being healed is a long, slow, painful process. I've been there. Five times last week and my share of times in weeks and months previous.
Our hearts are not the only ones that get broken. We are often cast in Neal's role doing the heart breaking every time something we find more attractive or interesting comes along. God's heart breaks every time we turn away from Him.
Every time, ladies, we're infatuated with a guy rather than with Him.
Every time we put our focus in something else.
Every time we doubt, fail to trust, are too hard on ourselves.
Every time we cry, God's tears outnumber ours.
Take a moment right now and tell Him how much you love Him. Let Him love you back. Let Him heal your heart.
With love,
<>< Katie
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Nicaragua
I have crayon under my fingernails.
My hair has dirt in it and is uncooperative.
My legs are scratched up, bug-bitten, and hairy.
I'll spare you the details about the revolt happening inside of my body.
I'm physically drained but emotionally and spiritually on a mountain top!
Sorry for the silence last week. I was on a mission trip to Nicaragua. We had one goal and one goal only: serve God.
That meant going to five church services in one week but being the church all week.
It meant entertaining 80 kids for an hour... twice.
It meant building relationships and encouraging people in what they're already doing.
It meant loving and serving with everything we have.
It meant visiting the fire station, touring the local hospital, and climbing mountains.
Let me tell you, the Holy Spirit is alive and well in Nicaragua! It was so encouraging to see!
I'm trying to get all of my thoughts into the same language. As I do that, I'll share stories and photos... so don't go anywhere!
But now... I must go to bed. Yesterday was a 22-hour travel day that included a six am pit stop because someone was bus-sick, two plane rides, and a 1am tire-change on a 12-passenger van. But we are all home safe and healthy!
<>< Katie
My hair has dirt in it and is uncooperative.
My legs are scratched up, bug-bitten, and hairy.
I'll spare you the details about the revolt happening inside of my body.
I'm physically drained but emotionally and spiritually on a mountain top!
Sorry for the silence last week. I was on a mission trip to Nicaragua. We had one goal and one goal only: serve God.
That meant going to five church services in one week but being the church all week.
It meant entertaining 80 kids for an hour... twice.
It meant building relationships and encouraging people in what they're already doing.
It meant loving and serving with everything we have.
It meant visiting the fire station, touring the local hospital, and climbing mountains.
Let me tell you, the Holy Spirit is alive and well in Nicaragua! It was so encouraging to see!
I'm trying to get all of my thoughts into the same language. As I do that, I'll share stories and photos... so don't go anywhere!
But now... I must go to bed. Yesterday was a 22-hour travel day that included a six am pit stop because someone was bus-sick, two plane rides, and a 1am tire-change on a 12-passenger van. But we are all home safe and healthy!
<>< Katie
Friday, March 11, 2011
The Tennis Racket
"I carry more to class every day than I pack when I fly across the country."
It's true. But last week Thursday when our campus minister Neal asked me to bring my suitcase to his office to help prepare for our upcoming mission trip, I protested. I didn't want to walk fifteen minutes across campus with my suitcase. I don't usually fly with a suitcase, and I definitely wasn't walking to class with a suitcase.
On Friday, when we were meeting as a mission team Neal said, "I heard some of you care too much about your pride to walk all the way to my office with a suitcase."
He didn't have to say, "'Some of you' means 'Katie.'" I knew. He knew. In case Neal's subtle reminder to keep my pride in check wasn't enough, God took care of it.
Monday my gym class made the mid-semester switch from badminton to tennis. For the rest of the semester, I get to carry around a tennis racket all day twice a week.
Really, I'm ok with it because it means I get to play tennis twice a week, but after about... oh, fifteenth time answering the "Why do you have a tennis racket?" question, it gets a little old.
Has your pride made unexpected appearances today?
What is your "tennis racket" to carry around today to make sure the pride stays in check?
<>< Katie
Update: Neal weighed my backpack today... 25lbs.
It's true. But last week Thursday when our campus minister Neal asked me to bring my suitcase to his office to help prepare for our upcoming mission trip, I protested. I didn't want to walk fifteen minutes across campus with my suitcase. I don't usually fly with a suitcase, and I definitely wasn't walking to class with a suitcase.
On Friday, when we were meeting as a mission team Neal said, "I heard some of you care too much about your pride to walk all the way to my office with a suitcase."
He didn't have to say, "'Some of you' means 'Katie.'" I knew. He knew. In case Neal's subtle reminder to keep my pride in check wasn't enough, God took care of it.
Monday my gym class made the mid-semester switch from badminton to tennis. For the rest of the semester, I get to carry around a tennis racket all day twice a week.
Really, I'm ok with it because it means I get to play tennis twice a week, but after about... oh, fifteenth time answering the "Why do you have a tennis racket?" question, it gets a little old.
Has your pride made unexpected appearances today?
What is your "tennis racket" to carry around today to make sure the pride stays in check?
<>< Katie
Update: Neal weighed my backpack today... 25lbs.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
A Lenten Promise
It started in November when it was still sporadically warm enough to wear shorts. We wanted to avoid No-Shave-November to keep our options open.
Enter No-Soda-November. For the month of November, my suitemates and I gave up soda. There was a little bit ofcheating forgetting but, as a whole, we did well. Not going to lie, on December first I had root beer mixed with milk. It sounds gross, but it's delicious. I don't think I've had any soda since.
In December, Allyson and Jennifer gave up fried foods. A little bit more failure. Always justified in some bizarre way or another.
In January, the two gave up eating after eight pm. By now the other four of us were beginning to realize this habit of giving something up was more about stubbornness than it was health. More about temporary sacrifice and self control than building better habits. We started to convince them that exceptions could be made. "This fresh out of the oven cookie is still part of dinner. Dessert just wasn't ready yet because we at dinner at 7:30."
In February, the shortest month, Jennifer and Allyson started their hardest mission: no sweets. No chocolate, no desserts, no mochas, no Valentines candy... They began to consume potato chips at the speed of light. I kid you not, Jennifer ate an entire bag of cheddar Lays in one sitting. Around the middle of February, they went to Taco Bell and declared cinnamon twists chips rather than sweets. Allyson even poured the remaining cinnamon and sugar into her mouth. Needless to say, we declared them failures. For the rest of the month, they hid their sweet-eating from judgmental persons.
They did not give up anything for the month of March. Ironically, the month in which Lent starts.
Today, Ash Wednesday, a lot of the Christian community around the world is sacrificing something. However, unlike Jennifer and Allyson, our sacrifice is not out of stubbornness. Our sacrifice is to honor the One who sacrificed His life on the cross. Our sacrifice is about growing spiritually closer to our Savior.
Figuring out what to give up for Lent is always a challenge for me. I try to avoid giving up anything food-related because we'll just be honest: I'm a skinny kid. Skinny kids and food sacrifices don't sit well with the rest of the world.
Two years ago I gave up facebook... and learned refreshing the page actually helps me think.
Last year I vowed to blog no more frequently than every other day... a habit I have kept.
This year I'm thinking about:
- giving up my car to save on gas... but I only drive the car pool one Sunday morning out of every three
- giving up socks... that was Nikki's idea
- giving up the color purple... I might get in trouble for public indecency.
- giving up my thesis... ooh, I like that idea
- getting more exercise... can you see this skinny kid on a treadmill?
- drinking only milk and water... oh, wait, that's pretty much covers it.
- giving up breathing... what's that?
For Lent this year, I'm going to work on two things:
1 - spending more time in serious prayer, ideally in the form of 20 minutes or more a day in our campus prayer room.
2 - affirming or encouraging at least one person every day, perhaps through the mail or in other Project 7-like ways.
What are you giving up or adding for Lent?
<>< Katie
PS: Guess what? Today's Ash Wednesday meaning... in 40 days I get to go home for Easter! (I haven't been home since Christmas).
Enter No-Soda-November. For the month of November, my suitemates and I gave up soda. There was a little bit of
In December, Allyson and Jennifer gave up fried foods. A little bit more failure. Always justified in some bizarre way or another.
In January, the two gave up eating after eight pm. By now the other four of us were beginning to realize this habit of giving something up was more about stubbornness than it was health. More about temporary sacrifice and self control than building better habits. We started to convince them that exceptions could be made. "This fresh out of the oven cookie is still part of dinner. Dessert just wasn't ready yet because we at dinner at 7:30."
In February, the shortest month, Jennifer and Allyson started their hardest mission: no sweets. No chocolate, no desserts, no mochas, no Valentines candy... They began to consume potato chips at the speed of light. I kid you not, Jennifer ate an entire bag of cheddar Lays in one sitting. Around the middle of February, they went to Taco Bell and declared cinnamon twists chips rather than sweets. Allyson even poured the remaining cinnamon and sugar into her mouth. Needless to say, we declared them failures. For the rest of the month, they hid their sweet-eating from judgmental persons.
They did not give up anything for the month of March. Ironically, the month in which Lent starts.
Today, Ash Wednesday, a lot of the Christian community around the world is sacrificing something. However, unlike Jennifer and Allyson, our sacrifice is not out of stubbornness. Our sacrifice is to honor the One who sacrificed His life on the cross. Our sacrifice is about growing spiritually closer to our Savior.
Figuring out what to give up for Lent is always a challenge for me. I try to avoid giving up anything food-related because we'll just be honest: I'm a skinny kid. Skinny kids and food sacrifices don't sit well with the rest of the world.
Two years ago I gave up facebook... and learned refreshing the page actually helps me think.
Last year I vowed to blog no more frequently than every other day... a habit I have kept.
This year I'm thinking about:
- giving up my car to save on gas... but I only drive the car pool one Sunday morning out of every three
- giving up socks... that was Nikki's idea
- giving up the color purple... I might get in trouble for public indecency.
- giving up my thesis... ooh, I like that idea
- getting more exercise... can you see this skinny kid on a treadmill?
- drinking only milk and water... oh, wait, that's pretty much covers it.
- giving up breathing... what's that?
For Lent this year, I'm going to work on two things:
1 - spending more time in serious prayer, ideally in the form of 20 minutes or more a day in our campus prayer room.
2 - affirming or encouraging at least one person every day, perhaps through the mail or in other Project 7-like ways.
What are you giving up or adding for Lent?
<>< Katie
PS: Guess what? Today's Ash Wednesday meaning... in 40 days I get to go home for Easter! (I haven't been home since Christmas).
Monday, March 7, 2011
"Everyone Needs Compassion"
"Daddy, what were your five compassionate things you did today?" I asked. Dad was getting ready for bed, and I was sprawled out on his bed with a book. I wasn't moving until I got an answer.
Dad: Helping people get on the elevator.
Katie: Did you really help people on the elevator today or are you making that up?
Dad: Actually, I helped THREE people onto the elevator today, so that's three things.
Katie: No, "Helping three people on the elevator" is one thing. What are the other four?
Dad: Um... calling Grandma and Grandpa. Calling Laura. Um... Four... Kissing in public.
He walked over to Mom, gave her a hug and a kiss, and smirked at me. Then he came over and gave me a kiss.
Dad: Five! Now get off my bed.
I called him lame, but I did move. He asked my five compassionate things for the day, and I gave an equally lame list.
Compassion is risking your arm in an elevator door to ensure someone in a wheel chair has ample time to get on board. Compassion is letting someone cut you in line because she has a screaming child who needs a nap. Compassion is smiling at the waiter even when he brought you the wrong kind of wine.
Everyone needs compassion. Did you hear me? Everyone needs compassion. Not just those you think are deserving of it. Not just those who cross your path when you're in a good mood. Everyone.
It's hard. Very hard. But let's work on it together.
So, friends, I ask you the same thing, what were your five compassionate things for today? How did you show or receive compassion today?
<>< Katie
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
Dad: Helping people get on the elevator.
Katie: Did you really help people on the elevator today or are you making that up?
Dad: Actually, I helped THREE people onto the elevator today, so that's three things.
Katie: No, "Helping three people on the elevator" is one thing. What are the other four?
Dad: Um... calling Grandma and Grandpa. Calling Laura. Um... Four... Kissing in public.
He walked over to Mom, gave her a hug and a kiss, and smirked at me. Then he came over and gave me a kiss.
Dad: Five! Now get off my bed.
I called him lame, but I did move. He asked my five compassionate things for the day, and I gave an equally lame list.
Compassion: a deep awareness for others' hurting and acting upon those sympathies.I'm pretty sure kissing doesn't count.
Compassion is risking your arm in an elevator door to ensure someone in a wheel chair has ample time to get on board. Compassion is letting someone cut you in line because she has a screaming child who needs a nap. Compassion is smiling at the waiter even when he brought you the wrong kind of wine.
Everyone needs compassion. Did you hear me? Everyone needs compassion. Not just those you think are deserving of it. Not just those who cross your path when you're in a good mood. Everyone.
It's hard. Very hard. But let's work on it together.
So, friends, I ask you the same thing, what were your five compassionate things for today? How did you show or receive compassion today?
<>< Katie
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
Friday, March 4, 2011
China-Bound
Secretly, I've always dreamed of going to China. In my dreams I've always envisioned my future husband and me going and bringing home a child. As always, God had a different vision. (But I haven't given up mine).
An opportunity has been made available for Amber and me to go to China for three weeks this summer. We will be teaching English but--more importantly--we will be witnesses for Christ.
"Being called" to do something was not part of my church lingo growing up, and I've really wrestled with what it means to "be called" to China. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I am perusing this opportunity with the intention of doing God's will rather than not doing it because I'm unsure if it's His will or not. (My friend Ron gave me that advice years ago and it was pretty much the best advice ever).
Even though there is still a lot of unknown, I officially submitted my application today. Now I need your help, friends.
1. Pray. Pray. Pray. Right now. Pray for me as I venture on this journey. Pray for Amber and all of the other volunteers we'll be working with. Pray for the people already in China. Pray for safety and health. Pray for us as we prepare to answer tough, blunt questions about our faith. Daily. Pray. Pray. Pray. Please.
2. I have no idea where on a college student's budget I'm going to come up with $3,000 to pay for the program. I firmly believe that God provides. Support letters, bake sales, begging on my hands and knees... If you have ideas or can support us financially, leave a comment or shoot me an email (katieaxelson [at] gmail [dot] com). Even just a dollar or two helps because God can use anything!
3. If you have any materials, teaching advice, donations, etc. We'd love to hear it. Haven't really thought that far ahead, but it's never too early to start planning.
My calendar officially doesn't end until August now! I'm really excited to see what God does with this trip! This is my first trip to a foreign country where I don't speak the language. I'll let you know how well Chinese people speak Spanish and ASL... I don't promise to blog every other day while I'm in China, but I will try to update you all periodically.
Thanks!
For His glory,
<>< Katie
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"
Isaiah 6:8
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8
An opportunity has been made available for Amber and me to go to China for three weeks this summer. We will be teaching English but--more importantly--we will be witnesses for Christ.
"Being called" to do something was not part of my church lingo growing up, and I've really wrestled with what it means to "be called" to China. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I am perusing this opportunity with the intention of doing God's will rather than not doing it because I'm unsure if it's His will or not. (My friend Ron gave me that advice years ago and it was pretty much the best advice ever).
Even though there is still a lot of unknown, I officially submitted my application today. Now I need your help, friends.
1. Pray. Pray. Pray. Right now. Pray for me as I venture on this journey. Pray for Amber and all of the other volunteers we'll be working with. Pray for the people already in China. Pray for safety and health. Pray for us as we prepare to answer tough, blunt questions about our faith. Daily. Pray. Pray. Pray. Please.
2. I have no idea where on a college student's budget I'm going to come up with $3,000 to pay for the program. I firmly believe that God provides. Support letters, bake sales, begging on my hands and knees... If you have ideas or can support us financially, leave a comment or shoot me an email (katieaxelson [at] gmail [dot] com). Even just a dollar or two helps because God can use anything!
3. If you have any materials, teaching advice, donations, etc. We'd love to hear it. Haven't really thought that far ahead, but it's never too early to start planning.
My calendar officially doesn't end until August now! I'm really excited to see what God does with this trip! This is my first trip to a foreign country where I don't speak the language. I'll let you know how well Chinese people speak Spanish and ASL... I don't promise to blog every other day while I'm in China, but I will try to update you all periodically.
Thanks!
For His glory,
<>< Katie
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"
Isaiah 6:8
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Katie: Sometimes broken things are worth keeping.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
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