Wacky Wednesday

Author's Note: Welcome to Wacky Wednesday! This post is a complication of ridiculous and profound statements made in everyday conversation or literature. We all say stupid stuff. Some of us more than others. Laugh, smile, be challenged. <>< Katie

"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 33

Mom: If your right turn signal is on, your vehicle should not be veering to the left. Thought I'd bring that to your attention.

"In China, Christians are persecuted with beatings and imprisonment. In the West, Christians are persecuted by the words of other Christians." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 309

Amber: When are you due?
Bridget: Four months ago.
Amber: No, when is your baby coming?

Laura: It's a good thing I can't form sentences in my brain because otherwise I'd be a really mean person.

"God really is in the business of blessing His people in unusual ways so His goodness and His greatness will be declared among all peoples." - David Platt, Radical, 67

Kevin [20s]: I'm an old man.  I have some gray hair.
Elizabeth: It's time to get a box.
[Awkward pause]
Elizabeth: Of hair dye.
Kevin: Don't lie, you meant a pine box!

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is no there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis

Mom: You put the pregnant fish in the maternity ward and when the babies are born they're sucked up and shot into the fishy nursery.
Katie: As if being born isn't traumatic enough!

Jori [To me]: Oh, ye, writer person!

[1am]
Laura: Wait, you're not even in the bed anymore, you doofus!

"We learned a lesson that morning. When we arrive at the end of our own strength it is not defeat but the start of tapping into God's boundless resources. It is when we are weak that we are strong in God." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 194

Mom: Fat!
Katie [fake surprise, panic, excitement]: Where?!

Elizabeth: You know, Katie, I was the first person on University's campus to ever lick you. I take full credit for that.

"Joy is God and God is joy and joy doesn't negate all other emotions--joy transcends all other emotions." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 176

Mary Beth: You know how there's always that one annoying cousin?
Katie: I only have three cousins.  My dad is that annoying cousin.

Laura: I love old people! This one time this old person did something and it made me laugh
Katie: Great story.

"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us." - James H. McConkey, Life Talks, 103 (qtd. Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138)

Waitress: What size to go box?
Melia: The little one works.
Waitress: That's what she said.

"But the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138

Professor: For Jesus?
Student: Yeah! We go everywhere for Jesus!
Professor: Alright!

"I hunger and thirst for filling in a world that is starved." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 17

Laura: Sometimes I know I'm saying stupid stuff, but I just keep saying it. It's funnier that way.

Juanita: Vernon! Don't lick my curtains!
Vernon: I wasn't licking them; I was biting them.

"Ultimately, I don't want to miss eternal treasure because I settle for earthly trinkets." - David Platt, Radical, 138

Katie: I don't really use the term "Best friend" because basically if you went to University with me, you're my best friend.

"Having God on our side doesn't mean sailing a boat with no storms; it means sailing a boat no storm can sink." - Unknown

Katie: No, you don't touch the scissors again until I give you further instructions.
Jori: My TA is getting cheeky.
Katie: I'm the brain!

Mom: My fish are eating the cats!

"Anger is the lid that suffocates joy until she lies limp and lifeless." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 177

Jori: If "biceps" were with an "s" it'd be "bis-eps.
Mike: Maybe that's what I have.

GPS: Recalculating.
Mom: Oh for heaven sakes!  We're just going to McDonald's to pee; you don't have to recalculate!

"But what if we don't need to sit back and wait for a call to foreign missions? What if the very reason we have breath is because we have been saved for a global mission? And what if anything less than passionate involvement in global missions is actually selling God short by frustrating the very purpose for which He created us?" - David Platt, Radical, 75

Michael Tait: Everyone who loves the Lord, shake your bonbons!

Katie: You ok, Dad?
Dad: No. Mom sent half of the water from that faucet up my nose!

"He always enjoyed seeing the happiness that the travelers experienced when, after weeks of yellow sand and blue sky, they first saw the green of the date palms. Maybe God created the desert so that man could appreciate the date trees, he thought." - The Alchemist, 87

Christina: Katie, will you babysit for this kid to show him how nice I really am?

Mom: Good night, Mary Ellen.
Katie: Good night, Jim Bob.
Laura: Good night, Laura.
Mom: Why are you saying goodnight to yourself?  That doesn't work!
Laura: Oh, good night, Suzy.
Mom: No, no, no.
Laura: What? I thought we were just saying good night to people who aren't here.

"Whether it is your family, the government, the religious establishment, or someone else, you will be hated." - David Platt, Radical, 167

Girl [age 14]: This is the first water balloon I've ever tied myself.  I'm going to save it and put it in my scrapbook!

Jori: We could do that.
Katie: Ok, let's do it. Right here on your bed.
["It" was really make peanut brittle]

Katie: I don't want a Tetanus shot.
Christina: Wait!  Are we talking doctor shot or alcohol shot?
Mom: I'm pretty sure there's no alcohol named "Tetanus."

Nurse: You've had so many shots they're blinding me!

"You're not doing the youth ministry until your youth are doing the ministry." - LCMS, Missouri District

Katie: It's a dove, not a kite. You can't tied a string to your dove.

Jori: Ok, I will not leave you.
Katie and Jori: Or forsake you!

"I learned we should never beat the sheep, but [we] must feed them if we want them to follow." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 174

Katie: He's on his way home.  By "he" I mean Dad.
Mom: I figured Dad was the "he" since he's the only "he" who calls you.

[in China]
Jeremy: Pancakes are just like noodles except not noodles!

"Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be sin." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146

Katie: I have a Peder CD we could listen to.
Laura: I'm petered out.

Katie: You aren't allowed in there.
Christina: Meh, rules are for sissies.
Katie: Yes, they are, and since you're my sissy you should get out.

"Prayer without ceasing is only possible in a life of continual thanks." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 60

Dad: I'm going to put on a different shirt.
[He wasn't wearing a shirt]

Emily: Sorry, I guess I just get distracted when my clothes come off.

"Again, we don't think like this: 'If we would all just become like Jesus, the wold would really love us,' he say. The reality is that if we really become like Jesus, the world will hate us. Why? Because the world hated Him." - David Platt, Radical, 167

Katie [Fingerspelled]: Adrenaline.
Amber [Voiced]: I saw koalas.
Katie [Signed]: No, adrenaline. You know, the drug.
Amber [Voiced]: The letter C? I got nothin'!

"I've got to get this thing; what it means to trust, to gut-believe in the good touch of God toward me because it's true: I can't fill with joy until I learn how to trust: 'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow' (Romans 15:13 NIV). The full life, the own spilling joy and peace, happens only as I come to trust the caress of the Lover, Lover who never burdens His children with shame or self-condemnation but keeps stroking the fears with gentle grace." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146

Katie: Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall?
Mom: No, forty-nine bottles of wine in the hall.

[Chinese people in China]
Sara: In America, this is a very good price.
Jim: In China, I get it for less.
Sara: Then maybe you should go back to China and buy it there.

"He [Jesus] was calling them [the disciples] to abandon their careers. They were reorienting their entire life's work around discipleship of Jesus. Their plans and dreams were now swallowed up in His." - David Platt, Radical, 7

Jori: It flew from my peach!

Katie: I'd rather shoot myself in the face.
Dad: You'd rather ship yourself to Spain?

"Everything in all creation responds in obedience to the Creator... until we get to you and me. We have the audacity to look God in the face and say, 'No.'" - David Platt, Radical, 31

[Over the phone]
Neal: While we were praying it started raining here. Just shows it rains on the righteous and the unrighteous. Me being the latter.
Katie: It's not raining here.
Neal: Does that mean you're in limbo?
Katie: I'm luke-warm, dang it!

Curt: I'm teaching [the topic] strangers, then if I have more time, I'll teach friends, then if I have more time, I'll teach Vernon.

Amber: Katie, your dad is ridiculious. He gets away with things that no other human being would ever get away with.

"In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him. In the process He powerfully demonstrates His ability to prove everything His people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined." - David Platt, Radical, 47