Wacky Wednesday

From Katie: The following are a collection of real conversations and quotes that happened in real life, over Facebook/Twitter, or were found in books. <>< Katie

"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

John: I'm going to make another phone call. If he answers, I'm going to take it.

Neal: No matter the question, Jesus is the answer.
Katie: What's for lunch?
Stephen: Communion?

Rebekah: Katie, you're obese on the inside.

David: Anyone want anything while I'm upstairs?
Katie: I want lots of things but not that you can get upstairs.
David: If I find a job up there, I'll let you know.

Katie: Did you just say, "I'm turning my cat into an elephant?"
Rebekah: Why would I want to eat my cat?

"Never let praise go to your head. Never let criticism go to your heart." - Rick Warren

Katie: Thanks for implying I'm nobody.
Sara: No problem, Poop Brain.
Stephen: No! Righteous Holy Spirit Brain!
Katie, Sara: What?
Rebekah: I challenged Stephen that anytime he thinks about poop he has to think about holiness and righteousness.

Jim: I'm going to have to start reading your blog next month.

Jen: Ok, guys, this is what we're going to do: we're going to go buy Jennifer the exact same heater and switch them like parents do when goldfish die.
Katie: Except we have to go back in time ten years to get the exact same heater.
Alex: And we have to find ten years worth of dust to put in it.

Brett: Do you not point with your middle finger?
Garret: I do that too. Especially when I'm driving.

Kevin: God's teaching you to be content in Him.
Katie: I'm trying!
Kevin: Being content in the Lord doesn't mean you want to stay in your situation. It means He put you there for a reason and therefore it's a good place to be.

Jennifer: What time is this test tomorrow?
Allyson: Your mom.
[Lots of laughter]
Allyson: I meant to say "Nine." They kind of sound the same.

Rebekah: I'm going to toast these buns then put some of Will's apple jelly on them.
Katie: Because that doesn't sound awkward at all.

Brett: I care not about a woman's ankles!

Sara: Now we know why we don't hang out with Stephen when he's alone.

Alex: No! It boosts my self-esteem as a male to be able to fix things.
Katie: How's your self-esteem doing tonight?
Alex: Give me just a minute.
Jennifer: Ok, I give you until 8:35.
Alex: What?! I need to at least 9:00.
Jennifer: You said, "Just a minute."
Alex: Ok, give me just a half an hour.

Allyson: We can't do this to myself.

"[T]he wonderful news is that Jesus has not stopped acting and speaking. He is resurrected and at work in our world. He is not idle, nor has He developed laryngitis. He is alive and among us as our Priest to forgive us, our Prophet to teach us, our King to rule us, and our Shepherd to guide us." - Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, 19

Katie: My lemonade tastes like blue cheese.

[Facebook]
Neal: Snow? Tonight? Possible. Tomorrow? Possible. Big storm Sunday? Maybe... just  maybe.
Katie: Awe, man, I'm out of milk and bread. Now I'm going to be on of those Southerners stocking up for the blizzard.
Neal: Hey, just because you are from the frozen tundra area of the US, don't be a killjoy.
Meredith: I never understood the milk and bread thing. What are you doing to do with them? Milk sandwiches?
Neal: I know, right? Milk and double stuff Oreos makes more sense.
Katie: Ok, I'll totally go buy milk, bread, and double stuffed Oreos. - Killjoy

David: If you live above the Mason-Dixon line, you're half-Canadian. If you live west of the Mississippi, you're full cowboy.

Katie: Make sure whatever comes out of the toolbox goes back in the toolbox.
Alex: Oh. I was going to put this screwdriver in the cabinet. Is that ok?
Katie: Dishwasher. Please.

"Wait for God's timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Rebekah: You need to keep taking Vitamin B6.
Katie: I already eat four meals a day. If I take that I'm going to eat the entire house!
Rebekah: It's not going to mess with your metabolism.
Katie: That's what it says!
Rebekah: It's not true; it's just what the medicine bottle says.

Jennifer: If you break it--
Alex: It won't be any more broken than it is now.

Corey: It's not sand; don't taste it!

David: Opinions are like butts: everyone has them and they all stink.
Alyssa: Nut-uh! Some people only have half-a-butt 'cuz they're Siamese. Isn't that a cat? What?

Danielle: Let's play a game. Name places you've been. Dominican Republic.
Courtland: Honduras.
Danielle: Nicaragua.
Courtland: England.
Danielle: Scotland.
Courtland: Ben's house.

Stephen: Yoga is not as fun as yogurt.

Weatherman: There were some snow flakes tonight, and we're not done. In some places there have been accumulations of over an inch. It's icy on bridges and roads and will continue to get worse overnight. It's been following consistently for the last hour. If you don't have to go out, stay home! By tomorrow afternoon we will have a high of 54.
Katie: I really love listening to Southern weathermen.
Jen: I WANT SNOW! I've never seen it!
Katie: How old are you?
Jen: Nineteen.
Jennifer: Around here if they even say the word "snow" they close school.
Jen: Why hasn't our school done that?
Katie: 'Cuz there's NO SNOW!
Jen: Yes, there is, on the TV!
Katie: Ok, let's watch Frosty and then there will be snow on the TV and they'll surely cancel school.

Isaac, 4: When someone has a broken heart it means I think they have to fix it with tape or something.

Keith: Rappers have two choices: grow up or get shot.

Rebekah: I love being domestic. It's my favorite thing to do! No, actually laughing's my favorite thing but being domestic is second.
Katie: Praising Jesus is my favorite thing to do.
Rebekah: Right. Whatever. [Beat] Don't Tweet that!
Katie: Nah, I'll save it for Wacky Wednesday.

Neal: Have you told God how you're feeling? He's a big boy. He can handle it, and He's the only one who can.

[Over the phone]
Tara: What are you doing?
Garret: I'm putting on a hoocher.
Tara: Where are you?
Garret: In Rebekah's bathroom.
[Tara said something I didn't catch]
Garret: No, I didn't say I'm wearing a hoocher; I said I'm putting one on.
[In this case, a "hoocher" was a cabinet latch]

"Once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely and we never lack for understanding or compassion. We can continually pour out our hearts to Him without being perceived as overly emotional and pitiful. The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to [herself] but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus is completely in control." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest