Wacky Wednesday

Just another day in the life...

Christina (from the back seat of the van): Mom, can I text you a photo of my toe?  It hurts.
Mom (passenger seat): No, I can probably see it just as well from here.

"That's not a llama that's a little girl.  Oh, they put sunglasses on the llama's butt.  That's obscene.  Oh, it was a dog's butt not a llama's butt.  Oh, look it's a little kid riding a bike again.  I saw this kid already.  No, it's a different kid.  Why do none of these kids wear helmets?!  Oh, wait, it is the same kid crashing into the mailbox.  I don't know if it's the same kid or not. THESE KIDS NEED HELMETS!  Woman tossing monkey.  Monkey tossing woman.  Now there's a gorilla on top of a post." - Mom's play-by-play of America's Funniest Home Videos

Christina: There's a cat outside somewhere.
Katie: Oh!  I see it!  It's a bunny.

Christina had just finished telling some "really funny" story and no one laughed.
Christina: OK, well, I guess it was just really funny in my head.
Mom: Well, I hope so because it wasn't really funny in any of our heads.

Laura's in the family room video chatting with her friend Jake who's currently in Louisiana.  I was sitting there as well, and Jake asks for Christina to come downstairs and video chat, too, so we'd all be there.  Laura texts Tina and she responds that she's sleeping.  "Clearly she's not since she's texting," Jake said, picking up his phone.  He then calls Christina.  The two of us in the family room could hear Christina's voice from upstairs... through the computer... through Jake's phone... in Louisiana.

Dad: Why is there one egg on the counter?
Mom: I'm making cookies later.
Dad: Oh, of course, why didn't I think of that?

Katie: Gar!  I don't want to read this manuscript.  I want to write my own manuscript.
Mom: It is a writing internship.
Katie: I'm switching my POV from third--my favorite POV--to first because I think it will work better, but I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do that.
Mom: That's why Cindy keeps all of her choir music.
Huh?

In the middle of a hamburger dinner I almost shot milk out my nose. Everyone looked at me, but I couldn't defend myself since I was at risk of choking... Instead I picked up the mustard and turned it around so they could all see the expiration date: June 4, 2007. I swallowed and we all laughed that the mustard expired before I graduated. (Throughout high school I'd keep track of what expired after I graduated, and I said the scary day would be when the milk expired after I graduated). We threw away that mustard and Mom went to the fridge to get another one. "Oh, good," she said, "now we only have four open mustards!"

Mom: You're writing this down?  For your blog?
Katie: Yeah.
Mom: Great... I'm never going to be able to get a job again.
Katie: No, I blog you as "Para Salin" or "Sarah Palin."
Mom: Oh, ok, instead you're screwing the future of this country instead of just my future.
Katie: You're the weird one.

Laura: Katie, you talk too much!
Katie: Laura, you listen too little!

<>< Katie

Magnificent Microwave Meals

This morning, I hadn't even put in my contacts yet when my roommates started sassing me. "Have you blogged yet today?" "PLEASE blog about last night!" "Katie, you're such a slacker blogger!" "Tell your eleven readers what we did last night!" They just like to see their times in print. Sorry to disappoint, ladies, but I am not going to explain how we managed to "seat" eight people on the futon... in three different positions. Enjoy the photo saga on facebook instead because words cannot do justice to the laughter that filled our apartment around 1am this morning.

Since school was closed today no one really wanted to eat in the cafeteria. We knew we'd be on day number four of whatever they could scrounge up from the back room and the pickings from that back room were getting grim on day two! Breakfast/lunch is typically one meal for us and can be made in the apartment thanks to our random supply of items.

Dinner, on the other hand, is more of a challenge since we don't have an oven/stove. Gourmet microwave meals only go so far. Either way, we needed to face the "icy roads" on the mile and a half trek to the grocery store. The problem is that none of the girls in our apartment who (a) drive and (b) have a car felt comfortable making this treacherous voyage. They called upstairs for one of the guys to take us to the store. It was around that time that I announced I wasn't going; Elizabeth felt my participation in this escapade was not optional.

Then why are we finding a driver? Even though I don't enjoy driving, I was well over-qualified for this dangerous excursion on dry roads.

"Get in the car, girls," I said and was expecting a repeat from the other night. Lucky for me, the only useless question was, "Which car is yours?" Clearly the one with out-of-state plates and no snow on it because I'm the only one with a real snowscraper. Pray for me in this foreign country...

Our spontaneous dinner plans turned from microwave lasagna to raw hamburgers in .7 seconds. Our apartment is going to smell like grille forever! However, I accept that because we had a wonderful time making hamburgers, chip dip, macaroni and cheese, and cookies all without a stove! That takes skill.

"This tastes like a homecooked meal," someone remarked.
Correction: This IS a homecooked meal.

Sitting on the floor with real plates on our laps, we thanked God and each other for this meal. Every single one of us was vital in the creation of our dinner. I braved the weather and drove to the store. Adam and Allyson cooked burgers. Nikki found us a George Forman (shhh! Don't tell!). Ryan provided real plates. Amy found the ketchup, and Elizabeth used her mad skills to make Mac & Cheese. No one of us could take the credit for our meal. It was a group effort.

Just like every one of us had a unique role in tonight's dinner, we each have our unique part in the Body of Christ. In Romans 12, Paul outlines this idea when he writes,

3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4 Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. 7 If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8 if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Well done, ladies! (And gentlemen).

<>< Katie
PS: It has also come to my attention that Mr. Kassakatis has been spewing cruel words regarding my blog. This harsh criticism will not be taken personally for I realize Mr. Kassakatis is merely jealous that he cannot communicate as well as I do. I am truly sorry. (not so much).