Home

Last week I made my first trip to Baptist Country as an alumna.  When we pulled into town, it didn't feel like I had been gone a month.  It felt like we had just gone to Elizabeth's for the weekend.

Very little has changed. 
A few trees have blown down, the construction projects have progressed, and there are not nearly as many cars in the parking lot. 

So much has changed.
My ID card no longer lets me into buildings, my mailbox is boarded up, and I am not returning in the fall.  Yet still it feels like home.

It was years ago when I first referred to that little town as "home."  If I flew to The Homeland, I said I was flying home.  If I flew to Baptist Country, I said I was flying home.  The lines between "home" and "school" were so blurry that I gave up on what to call each place and declared travel days "Airplane Day," no matter which direction I was going.

What is home?

Is home my parents' house?  Is home the college town where I went couch-surfing last week?  What exactly is home?

I wish I posted everything I've drafted because in February I wrote a post entitled "Redefining Family."  It claimed "family" was my five suitemates, my ten-person ministry team, and my lunch buddies.  Sometimes family has little to do with blood relation.

Home is where your family is.

I'm having a hard time deciding where "home" is because my family is in The Homeland, my family is in Baptist Country, my family is in Nicaragua, in Guatemala...  Does that make home all of those places as well?

In the same way that The Homeland will always be "home" because my family is here, Baptist Country will always be "home" because my family is there, too.

Beauty and the Beast taught me "home is where the heart is."  If that's true, then I'm heartbroken.  In Baptist Country, I want to be in The Homeland.  While in The Homeland, I yearn for Baptist Country.  I don't think this is necessarily a bad problem to have, but I am not a fan.  For four years my life has been split by 900 miles, a chasm that is not closing anytime soon.

Until God sends me somewhere else, home will have to be my parents' house.  No more trying to outsmart amazon.com to get packages delivered to my P.O. box.  No more loitering in the caf.  No more spontaneous trips to Wal-mart even though we don't need anything.  No more "Katie, party of twelve, your table is ready."

As I struggle to define such a basic four-letter word, I must also remember that in the grand scheme of things, none of these places are "home."  They are all temporary dwellings prior to an eternal home.  I honestly believe that someday there will be no sixteen-hour drives and no time change because there will be no time at all.  There will be a day when tears won't roll, hearts won't break, and pain won't hurt.  All of God's children will be home, constantly singing praises to Him, for He deserves it. 

That, my friends, will be Home.

<>< Katie

A Trip to the Police Station

I've never really cared for the administrative assistant at the police station.  She's not as friendly as the officers.  Maybe it was the smirk she gave me when I went in to report a missing hub cab a few years back.  I don't know.  I do know she did not earn herself any more points today.

I needed another key made for my roommate.  They did not provide us with enough when we moved in, so we've had to get more made.  'Round these parts you do that at the police station.  I walked in yesterday and was told the key-maker had left for the day.  He would be back between 6 and noon today.  I went back today a little before noon, and he was out on the grounds.

At first she began to take down my name (not even daring to repeat my last name to me but requesting I spell it), request, and a phone number.  I did not get past the area code when she looked out the window and almost stood.  She picked her Blackberry up off of the desk and radio-ed the officer.

Officer: Go ahead.
Secretary: Can you come in and help this little girl?

Woah.  I glanced around to make sure she and I were the only ones in the room.  Nope, no little girl had snuck in on my watch.  I politely waited, but her words rang through my head.

"Help this little girl... help this little girl... help this little girl..."

Suddenly instead of a renter asking for a new key to be made, I felt like a child separated from her mother.  That's where separated children are told to do, right?  Seek help from police officers.  I contemplated producing some tears just to accurately play the part.

Officer Larry came through the front door and stood in front of me, so close that if there had not been a wall and fake ficus behind me I would have stepped backwards to remove him from my large personal bubble.  His eyes were the same level as mine, not bad for a little girl.

Officer Larry: What can I do for you?

I held up the key between our faces.  I told him my request and gave my apartment number.

Officer: You already have a key.
Katie: My roommate needs one.
Officer: This for the front door?
Katie: Yes, sir.
When it doubt, throw in the "sir."  It used to be so unnatural it sounded corny but after three years down South I have to remember to turn it off when I go home (and not say it to women...)

He took the key and walked away.  I was not sure if I should follow or not, but I did since he was still talking to me.

Officer: I've already made a bucket full of keys for that front door.
Katie: You've made one, and we need one more.
I didn't blabber my spiel about the apartment housing six students and the school only providing four keys because I was interrupted by the Chief of Police.

Chief: You made a bucket full-a them?  Now whatcha gonna do?  Can your bucket hold one more?
Officer Larry: I guess so.
Katie: Thank you.

Officer Larry disappeared I stood in Chief's doorway waiting.

Chief: What are you up to today?
Katie: Causin' trouble.
Chief: Would you stop that?
Katie: What are you up to?
He looked down at his desk, knowing my eyes would follow and see his Subway sandwich and chips.
Katie: Eatin' lunch?
Chief:  Yup. 
Katie: All day?
Chief:  Yup.  You're like my wife.  I'm sitting on the tractor and she says, "Are you going to cut the grass?"  I want to say, "No, I'm just sitting here because I feel like it."

I contemplated telling him about how my dad and his neighbor-friends gather their matching orange tractors in the middle of the yard, rest their feet on the steering wheels, sit back, and enjoy a good beer and great company.  But I remembered I'm in the South... and talking to a police chief.  Crazy Northern Lutheran stories were probably unwelcome.

Instead, I should have asked to ride the segway.  Chief might have actually said yes.  Either that or he would have said, "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness."  I'm not really sure.

I didn't get to find out because Officer Larry came back with two keys and sent this "little girl" on her way to find her own lunch to eat all day. 

<>< Katie

Brrrrr

Disclaimer: I don't think all of my reading audience will be able to fully grasp this blog. It's not that it's difficult to comprehend but rather if you haven't spent the better part of three (or sometimes four) months with single-digit temperatures and your brown grass is completely hidden by multiple inches (or feet) of snow, you might not fully be able to grasp this concept. However, I encourage you to try and fully understand the idea of cabin fever.

"I'm cold."
A quick glance around my room will make it obvious that I've said this once or twice before. The space heater, the (literally) seven layers on my bed, and the polar fleece blanket stored right next to my desk for easy access are clear give-aways to my latest refrain.

"I'm cold."
Except today it's different. Today it isn't a "When did I move to Antarctica?" cold. Rather, today was an "It's too early and chilly to open the windows but I'm doing it anyway because it's wonderful!" cold.

There's nothing like a warm day in the middle of a harsh winter. The warm day brings hope. It brings the reminder than someday this frigid winter will pass and spring will come.

Life is like that, too. Glimmers of hope amidst dark days. Reminders of why we crawl out of bed. Can you find your warm day?

It doesn't have to be life-shattering. In fact, in the dead of winter, a 50 degree day feels warm enough to take off your jacket and don your shorts. Sure, six months from now it won't feel phenomenal but six months from now isn't when you'll need hope of spring. It's right now that you need hope of spring and therefore 50 is simply blissful!

Find your warm day today!

<>< Katie