Providing Today's Entertainment

Well, we did it again.  Mom and I single-handily entertained everyone we encountered today.

It started innocently enough: I needed new glasses.  After church, we went to the mall and meandered towards the eye doctor's office.  Well, they didn't have any appointments until 2:15, so we ventured into the mall.  An hour and half later, we returned.

It was the same ole spiel.  "Can you read these letters?  What numbers are in dots?" I almost have that book memorized.  "Take your contacts out.  Now can you read the letters?  This puff if your eye is going to make you jump but it won't hurt.  Have a seat right here.  The doctor will see you shortly."

So there we sat.  Me half blind; Mom laughing at me.

The doctor came out and called my sister's name.  I almost, automatically, stood and corrected him.  People confuse my for my sister all of the time.  But there was another patient standing, so Mom and I just laughed.

Then he came back and asked for someone with my dad's name.  "Actually, this is Katie," Mom whispered to me.  We had another good laugh.

I've been going to this same place in the mall for years, but this was a new doctor I'd never met before.  You figure if he was working Sunday afternoon he probably wasn't very high on the totem pole.  However, every time he came back, we noticed he had a smile.  Well, Mom noticed. I just saw him as a big purple and black blob, but I think we have matching purple shirts.  We figured he was enjoying his job.

Finally, the doctor came out and called my name.  With a hand outstretched, he introduced himself.

"I can't see you," I said with a laugh.  He chuckled, I found his hand, and we shook. 

Then he led me back to the exam room.  "Just feel around until you find the big chair," he said.  My turn to laugh.  I'm not quite that blind. 

The exam went well, albeit not uneventful.
Doctor: Healthy blood flow.
Katie: Oh, good.
Doctor: No signs of glaucoma.
Katie: Oh, good.
Doctor: Your prescription needs to be updated but all looks good.
Katie: Oooh, yay!
He laughed.

To do: Entertain Opthamologist.  Check

Next on the to-do list was the more daunting task of picking out new glasses.  I narrowed it down to two but could not decide between them. 

Number one...
or
number two...

Finally, I put them both on at the same time to compare the two.  Well, someone saw me with two pairs of glasses on (and contacts back in by this point) and just started laughing.

To do: Entertain other patients.  Check.

The last thing we had to do was check out.  The store was super busy that day, so by this point Mom and I had been there for over an hour (not including the almost two hours we stalled prior to my appointment).  We were ready to go home.  Meaning we were more giggly, if that's possible.

Just in case the conversation between Mom and I wasn't enough to entertain the clerk, we threw her some jokes, too.  Most of which I don't remember.  I do remember she had a sheepish laugh when I told her I loved how her glasses matched her shirt.

To do: Entertain sales clerk.  Check.

Then she handed us the bill, and I was thoroughly confused: why were we paying to be their comic relief on a Sunday afternoon?

<>< Katie

"Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:1-2

Wet Willy

Growing up, when we went to a party my sisters and all of the other kids were always lost in a made up world somewhere else.  I, on the other hand, loved to sit at the table and listen to my parents and their friends tell stories and relive the Before Kids Days.  My favorites were the college stories, the post-college stories, and the ones from my dad's annual camping trips (the one that had to come to an end when he left my mom home alone with a one-month old very colicky baby who now enjoys telling these stories herself).  Of course, most of them involved alcohol... and extreme amounts of it.  Going to a dry school I thought/ was kind of sad I'd be missing these stories from my life.  Well, I'm not.  Mine just involve less (read "no") alcohol.

One thing I've never really understood is why my mom had the audacity to give Mark--a man she's not married to--a wet willy just for sassing her.  When I witnessed this first hand, boys still had coodies, and there was no way I would be getting anywhere near them much less close enough to stick my tongue in their ears.  Well, I now have friends who are male, and I discovered this weekend that it's only a matter of time before Nikki, Elizabeth, and Andy get hard core wet willies (no finger).

I was giving my goodnight hugs on Saturday night when Elizabeth and Andy were on the Platonic Loveseat being, well, not very platonic.  Instead of asking for goodnight hugs, I plunked myself down on the couch between them.  Half of me was on top of Andy and the other half on top of Elizabeth.  In about, oh, 1.5 seconds flat they flipped me on my back in the fetal position.  Amy and Jennifer watched this whole deal and said all they could see of me were my knees.  Not good!

"Watch my glasses!"
"Take them off!"
"No!  Then I'm consenting to this rough housing.  I don't consent!  I don't consent!"
"Ooooh!  Is she ticklish?!"
I am, but they didn't know that, and I sure as heck wasn't telling them.

Elizabeth and Andy decided the only thing to do to me in this situation was to lick me.  Are we not past this game yet!?  Elizabeth had the bottom half of my body in her lap, so she chose to lick the back of my right hand, not a big deal, I can wash that once I get free.  Andy had my upper half and opted for the top of my head.  I wasn't planning on showering before bed, thanks.

"I really want to lick her forehead," Elizabeth confessed.  It's kind of a long-term goal, and they had me in the proper position.  It was one of those "now or never" situations, and my goal was to make it a "never."

"Wouldn't that be awful?!  She could just watch your tongue coming the whole time!"

Yes, that would be awful.  I slapped my forearm to my forehead and held it tightly.  All of the sudden there was a firm grasp on my wrist as Andy gently but forcefully pulled my hand away from my face.  He's a "medical person;" he's done that before.  Not fair!  Elizabeth moved in for the kill but I beat her to the punch as my knees rapidly collided with my face.  Word of advice: don't do that on a regular basis.  A few more minutes of struggle and Elizabeth finally settled... her wet finger into my ear.  Much further into my ear than a finger should go, I might add.  I pushed her away with my feet and shoved Andy off of the couch.  No winding up before bed... de-rile, de-rile.

I don't know if our three-on-a-couch experience will stand the test of time and be placed among the great "college stories" in my repertoire, but I do know that at the next opportunity they both will be receiving true business wet willies, tongue meet ear style.

<>< Katie

Twas the Night Before Christmas...

Today was a pretty close to miserable day. It took me a over an hour to do a drive that should take less than 45. I dropped my sister off at the movie theater and had a nice lunch with a friend. We sat down, and he teased that it was going to take him an hour to eat, but I didn't need to feel compelled to stay that long. Well, his food was finish and our conversation still raging in full gear.

After lunch, I pulled back into the theater parking lot just as the movie ended. We then had to go to the mall. One day before Christmas. In a blizzard. Puke.

It was very easy for me to say, "If the glasses people hadn't broken my glasses the first time they tried to fix them, I could just go home now and finish making Christmas cookies. Wrap the presents? Oh, yeah, gotta do that, too." No. I had to be sitting in the mall... for an hour... while they replaced the lens of my glasses and then tried to tell me I needed to pay for it. In reality, they broke it, and eventually they replaced the lens for free.

While I was stalling for an hour, I ran over to a department store looking for a specific item. Well, apparently they don't make the size I need. Surprise, surprise. My entire body doesn't fit into the sizes made. Shoes, pants, shirts, you name it... it doesn't fit properly... After many hours (or at least many, many minutes) of searching, a sales associate approached me and asked if I was finding everything alright. I answered honestly (no) and told her what I was looking for. She then tried to convince me I needed to sign up for a charge card for that particular store. Well, if I can't find the product I want, why do I need to save money by signing up for a card? I told her no literally four different times. She then went to find another sales associate to ask if they make the size I was looking for. The second associate said no without offering any other suggestion. I walked away in frustration, and I heard the two sales associates making jokes. Maybe they weren't directed at me, maybe they were just having fun, but I highly doubt it. Needless to say, I promptly left the store.

My sister and I left the mall and I asked her where the package was. Her boyfriend is coming for Christmas and I didn't know what to get him, so she was going to go buy something while I was picking up my glasses. Well, apparently she couldn't find what she was looking for, so she bought nothing. Now I have no present for Boy. For tomorrow. Crap.

Drove home. Yeah, let's plow the roads.

Found a message waiting for me from a friend who wants to get together before break is over. Well, I had most of last week free, but she couldn't do anything. Now I'm booked and she's moderately free. I really, really want to get together with her, but there seems to be no time. It's frustrating!

Ok, awful day, eh?

So I come home, wrap the presents I do have (I figured out something for Boy), and took out my anger on our Wii. I bowled a 168! That's a personal record for me. I then upped my skills level on Wii Tennis to 606 (We've had this game for two days...).

At least the virtual world likes me.

Although, my shoulder wants to kill me.

I hope your day was better than mine!

Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow we remember the Savior of the world entering His creation in the form of an infant. Not just any infant, but an infant who was born in a stinky, smelly stable to a carpenter and his teenage wife-to-be. Perhaps my situation wasn't the only one that's less than perfect.

<>< Katie

"The Shortest Day Came..."

Melsa's been pestering me to update my blog with something more cheerful... so I've been trying to come up with something good... yet everything has been random stories (surprise surprise) with no real focus)... How about some random thoughts instead? Think, think, think...

Today's date is a palindrome and that makes me smile.

Today is also the shortest day. "The shortest day came..." and what's that speech about darkness that I've only heard nine times?

I had communion today for the first time since August 10th. And it was good. Actually, that's a lie. I had communion over Thanksgiving, but I only got a half a wafer ("Worship here on a regular basis and we'll give you the whole wafer" - Pastor Russ)

Last week I made up my offering envelope and left it in the cover of my Bible in the car. So I turned it in this week, crossed off the date, and wrote "oops". haha

I drove on the freeway today. Longer than just one exit, thank you. I'd like to once again point out: just because I choose not to drive on the freeway does not mean I can't, haven't, and won't.

It's is COLD! The hockey arena was actually considered warm considered to outside... Just because my mom (sorta) looks like Sarah Palin does NOT mean our weather must replicate that of Alaska...

I was on the jumbotron dancing to "Cotton Eyed Joe"... last time I was on the jumbotron I was wearing a Mrs. Potato Head Costume (and it wasn't Halloween...) My family failed at getting a picture yet again...

I got my glasses fixed the other day, but now the lens is warped... meaning I have to go the mall again tomorrow... two days before Christmas... because they didn't fix them properly the first time... (and this injury to the glasses was NOT my fault, haha)

Spiritual connection, oh yeah...

"Imagine the Creator of the Universe shoving Himself into a baby's body." - PT
"Every snowflake is different, yet look at what they can do together." - P Ras

In Christ,
<>< Katie

"Pick up the Phone, Dummy!"

My grandpa loves to stand on top of something (tree stump, dock, chair, etc.), point his hands in the air, and yell, "For my next dive!" He then pretends he's diving in. Well, my glasses wanted to try that yesterday, but they missed the pretend part. That's right, they sky dived (sky dove?) off my shelf and onto the ground about six-feet below. The first clank told me they hit the floor. It was the second clank that worried me. In the morning, I had to put in my contacts to find my glasses. How funny is that? As it turns out, one of the lenses popped out, but I was able to get it back in! Yay!

This encounter made me think of another famous Grandpa quote. Last summer, my mom called my grandparents, but for some reason the phone wasn't connecting. My family is very prone to phone issues. We've had phone issues ever since my parents went on their honeymoon and a friend had their phone cancelled as a prank... haha


Anyway, this conversation between my grandpa and my mom was your typical:

"Hello? HELLO?! Is anyone there? HELLO?!" Meanwhile, my mom is on the other end screaming that she can hear him, she's really there... but it's not going through. Finally he just got so fed up, he said, "PICK UP THE PHONE, YOU BIG DUMMY!" He then hung up on her.


Obviously he had no idea it was my mom calling and thought she was a telemarketer. Just goes to show you never know the full story. You never know what kind of day someone else has had. Before getting snippy or rude with them, remember maybe today is the day where everything in their life has gone wrong. Even though you weren't being very loud while video chatting in the middle of the afternoon, the neighbors were having a rough day and took it out on you. You never really know what's going on unless you ask (and even then you only know as much as they are willing to tell).

In Christ,
<>< Katie

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. " John 13: 34