God's Character

Last night I dreamed I got an email from my friend Whitney. She was leaving her job and looking for a new one. The email that I had to read twice described in detail her ideal job and asked if I had any suggestions for where she should start looking. Right, ask the unemployed for a job idea. Good call.

First thing when I woke up this morning was reach for my phone. I needed to hear again why Whitney was leaving her job after only a year and a half. As I typed out the text message, I replayed the dream in my head.

Something wasn't adding up:
- The email. Whitney and I rarely email. We prefer facebook, text messages, and Skype.

- The job. While the transition into this job has been a struggle, Whitney regularly tells me how it's a blessing, a prayed-for job.

- The idea job. What she described is essentially where she is.

I never sent her the text. I knew she wasn't leaving her job. Why? Because I know Whitney. I know how much Whitney loves her job, enjoys what she does, and sees God work in it. Knowing Whitney's character helped me differentiate between what was a dream and what was reality.

Just like I know Whitney, I want to know God. I want to know His character so well that in musing and praying over something, I can tell whether it was from Him or the enemy. I want to be aware of whether what is happening is consistent with the God I see in the Bible, the God I experience on the daily basis, and the God I know to be real.

If it's not, stop! Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.
If it is, proceed, pursuing His will. Always.

<>< Katie

PS: Just because Whitney and I don't usually converse via email doesn't mean we can't. Just because God doesn't usually get your attention through a medium as crazy as He and I often use doesn't mean He can't or won't.

What have you read?

As I was running late to class, Amber sent me a text message.  "What have you read today?  It's for a class."

I left her a long, rambling voicemail that went something like this,

"I read a chapter in Lipstick in Afghanistan, a handout for class, fifty pages in a textbook, blogs, a letter of recommendation that waived my right to see but the professor gave me anyway, emails, facebook updates, um... the caf menu... um... I haven't read my Bible yet but will before the day's over."

It was 3:00 in the afternoon.  I'd gone to three classes, eaten breakfast and lunch, submitted my last graduate school application, played badminton, harassed Evan about his bland office, and five minutes earlier I had single-handedly kept my suitemate conscious.  (Unfortunately, "Saving lives and getting to class on time" could become a blog series... she's much better now but it was a scary afternoon).  It had been a busy day.  But I hadn't spent any time in the Word.

As I write this, it's 11:30pm.  Guess what I still haven't done today?

Yeah, that nearly-completed blog-post is going to have to wait until tomorrow.  I've got an important appointment to fulfill a promise.  Actually, two promises.  One to Amber and one to the Lord.

There are days when getting into the Word is the last thing on the to-do list and prayer seems like a waste of time.  I have a lot of those days, I'll be honest.

But I'm slowly learning to push through.  I try to read the Bible even though I'd rather be reading be reading a fiction novel. I try to pray even though I'd rather be in conversation with my (not dying) suitemates.

To an extent, that's normal.  There is a fine line between establishing a healthy habit, persisting even when you're "not feeling it" and going through the motions.  Find that line.  Persevere.  Even if it feels a little insincere.

"What we call insincerity, God calls obedience." - Jonathan Martin  "Sometimes God's doing the most profound changing in your life when you don't feel His presence but you keep showing up."

Keep showing up.  Even when it's hard.

Ok, for real now.  "Today" has become "yesterday" and the book of Exodus still calls. 

Friends, what have you read today?

<>< Katie

Healed By His Wounds

Last week I got unjustifiably angry at my close friend "Keely."  It was silly really.  It all boiled down to me being jealous... and hurt.

Something happened in the living room and instead of addressing it like an adult, I pouted in my room and text-vented to Amber.  I got so worked up that I was crying.  Silently.  Even in the same room, my roommate was unaware that I was having one of the most intense text conversations of my life.

For the next several days I held a grudge against Keely.  That's when the suitemates began to notice. 
"You've been extra sensitive lately, Katie."
"Katie and Keely have to sit on opposite sides of the room because they might rip off each others' head."

The two of us agreed to tone down our playful sassing for awhile and make sure we're showing love.  Through carefully planned words (and some not-so-carefully planned ones) I acknowledged why I had been so sensitive.  When it all boiled down to it, my anger had nothing to do with Keely.  Yet she had been the recipient of my frustration, jealousy, and anger.

She accepted my apology, which she said was unnecessary.  She hadn't considered my feelings about the situation.  We both decided to be more careful and move forward.

I got to take communion this week (a rare event in Baptist Country).  In confessing my sin to my Lord, the first situation that popped into my head was the situation with Keely.  I again asked for forgiveness and for those hurt feelings to be removed.  I wanted to be healed of the whole situation.

I almost cried again when Keely served me the bread.
"Body of Christ, given for you."

Forgiveness.  Given to me. 

"But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5 (emphasis mine)

Be healed in His wounds today, friends.
 
<>< Katie

Freudian Slips

I am a writer. I love words. That doesn't mean words always love me. In fact, sometimes I think I speak really awkwardly. I don't always think before words come flying through my mouth, or I think too late to fix the bad statement. Just for laughs, this are my latest Freudian slips...

Last night, Adam called Allyson and I played secretary. I told him she was unavailable at the moment and I would have her call him when she became available again. Confused, Adam hung up. I made an effort to defend my moderately odd way of beating around the bush: I was not going to tell Adam that his girlfriend was in the shower. Face it, most people shower naked. While I like to think Adam isn't going to leap into the gutter, I wanted to protect Allyson from an awkward situation and took the humiliation on myself when I tried to explain. It came out poorly as I announced to my busy living room filled with a co-ed audience, "Some girls don't like to talk about showering with guys."

As we were leaving the bowling alley on Sunday, I told Josh I had to go because my group was mobilizing. Except it kind of got mixed up with "group is moving" and sounded shockingly southern as it came out, "My groupe is movilizing." Later, I was laughing to myself about how badly that conversation could have ended and I told my friends (all female) what had happened. Well, when I tried to say "groupe is movilizing" I messed it up worse and said, "My grope is boobilizing." Yeah, that was the worse case scenario I had envisioned in my head. It's going to be a long time before they let me live this one down.

Amy asked me to send a text message on her phone. Well, she uses T9 and I don't. I much prefer to type out every individual letter of the words and I can do it rather quickly. In fact, more quickly than I could have using T9. I tried to type, "We are coming" but it ended up, "Bacon accountant."

It's no wonder my roommates like to make fun of me: I'm an easy target. :-)

I'd love to hear about your Freudian slips. Or I suppose you can remind me of some of my other ones because, well, I have a lot of them. :-)

Learning to laugh at myself,

<>< Katie

PS: I composed this blog this morning and then had a great slip this afternoon. Nikki and I work for the same department and our latest project requires us to spend long hours in Dr. T's office. Today, as we were sitting there working, I looked at her and said, "Nikki, all of our Nikki-Katie time is in Dr. T's office. We're nerdy enough to do that." Well, she heard, "Nikki, all of our Nikki-Katie time is in Dr. T's office. We're dirty enough to do that."

Never Underestimate the Power of a Good Book

On the way to the airport to come home for Christmas, my friend Kevin (who sometimes reads this blog) told me he rarely reads books anymore and never books that are more than 200 pages. I asked him if he'd read a 201 page book if I wrote it, and he said no. He's pretty serious about this 200 page rule.

The other day I jokingly asked him if he's read anything good over break and he said yes! Just from the tone in his... er... text message, I could tell he was excited about this book. Yes, a quick google search revealed it is less than 200 pages but that isn't the point.

That's all it takes, one good book. Earlier this break I was feeling lazy and apathetic. All I did all day was blog, participate in "family somethings," and play Bejeweled Blitz. That is until a spontaneous trip to Barnes & Noble changed (and charged) by break.

I'm now deep in to two books. Whether I love them or not is beside the point because once again the words are flowing. While I haven't written a substantial amount, maybe five pages, there has been a lot of plotting and some major changes. In this case, change is good. And I owe it all to the 300 pages I've read this week. (Ok, and my Almighty God who has given me the words to speak).

Excuse me now why I go disappear into a comfortable recliner with a blanket, a good book, and a glass of wine on this beautiful blizzarding day. (Ok, just kidding about the wine... maybe).

Be verbose!
<>< Katie

Sad day

It's good to be back to having a social life! Today, during dinner, I got a text message from Melissa that I was answering. Brittany and Nathaniel were deep in some other conversation, and Jonathan was watching the news (on mute) across the caf. Bigfoot's body has been found, someone was raped, and a child was abducted. Quite sad!

"Some football player died," Jonathan said nonchalantly.
"Sad day," I said glancing at the tv before turning back to my phone.
"Did you just hear that conversation?" Nathaniel got really excited.
"What?" I inquired, thinking Brittany had just said something I would need to quote (we had about ten one-liners that hour meal...)
"Jonathan just informed us some football player died, you glanced up said, 'Sad day' and kept right on texting. It's like, 'He's dead. Sad. Text,'" he mocked me. I told him I was fully aware of the conversation and knew exactly what I said.

How often are we unaware of what we say? How often are we not paying any attention to those around us. Sure, we may have heard what they said, but do we hear what they don't say?

Someone is your life is screaming for attention. Are you listening with your heart? Try it tomorrow. Strive to hear the unsaid conversation.

In Christ,
<>< Katie

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. " Psalm 139:23

God Speaking

Comments make my day. :-) I'm glad you like the song references. I'm sure there are more to come.

I wrote a blog during work today but wasn't pleased with it, so I saved it and decided to finish it later. It was talking about how all morning on Sunday I had different songs from Casting Crowns' Altar and the Door CD rotating through my head. I finally got them to go away and they sang "Everyman" in church. Annoying? Yes.

I then came home today and learned one of our family friends is in the hospital with a life threatening illness. She's younger than my youngest sister, and she's been really sick for several months. They finally have a diagnosis, but treatment will require multiple months stay in an out-of-state hospital. Prayers are much appreciated! I was texting my friend (her older sister) not really listening to my iPod as it played on shuffle in the background. Our conversation ended and I realized the song that was playing is on that I consider "her song." Of the 2,869 songs on my iPod, playing today was one of the two songs she gave me when they moved away. Perfectly planned? Of course.

I got an email update about her sister a few hours later in which she shared this story that went right along with this theme. She was driving yesterday with Casting Crowns Lifesong CD playing. She said it was a bright and sunny day when "Praise You In This Storm" came on. By the time the song hit to the chorus, rain drops were falling. When the song finished, so did the rain. Coincidence? Not with God.

In the words of Mandisa, "Who knows how He'll get a hold you. Get our attention to prove He is enough. He'll do and He'll use whatever He wants to, to tell us: 'I love you.'"

In Christ,
<><>

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His Holy Name...Who forgives all your sings and heals all your diseases." Psalm 103:1,3