I don't really know if this is blog-appropriate or not but I can't help but share God's sense of humor.
I am very bad at sitting and doing nothing. Ask my roommates. I'm always doing something, working on something, going somewhere, or refreshing some internet page. I don't sit still. I like to be busy. The minute I'm done eating, I'm out of the caf. As soon as there's a pause in the conversation, I excuse myself. Even when going to bed at night, I focus on praying rather than my constant to-do list or the fictional characters running around in my head. I like constant motion.
This whole unemployed thing brings constant motion to a screeching halt.
I am trying to use this opportunity to learn to sit in silence before the Lord. Sit and be still (although, I still wiggle my toes). Turn off the brain (harder than it sounds). Don't write, don't read, don't do anything but listen.
The first afternoon I tried, I fell asleep. I rarely nap during the day and I was sitting on the floor... Two hours later I woke up with a sore neck and no conversation with the Lord.
After dinner, I sat back down on my bedroom floor to try again. I turned off the music. Turned off the computer. Silenced the phone. Put away the notebook. And sat in silence, listening for the quiet whispered. This time I kept my eyes open.
Katie: Ok, God, I'm listening.
And what did I hear?
Someone farting in the bathroom on the other side of the wall. Not just one. My private, silent moment with the Lord was interrupted by someone elses' private, not-so-silent moment.
Katie: Wow, You're funny.
That's one of my favorite things to say to God. A sarcastic, "Wow, You're funny."
Two lessons learned here:
1. God does have a sense of humor.
2. No sitting in silence in the bedroom.
But I'm going to keep trying to sit in silence, as soon as I find a fart-free location where I'm not at risk of falling asleep.
Learning to listen,
<>< Katie
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
As The Deer
During our family's annual birthday celebration my grandpa was telling a story about an interaction he and Grandma had with a deer while they were on vacation.
Apparently they were driving down a woodsy neighborhood road and there were some women walking down the street towards the car. In between their car and the women was a deer. The deer was focused on the pedestrians, so Grandpa slowed down and approached it as slowly and quietly as they could.
The car got right up next to the deer before the deer took its eyes from the women and noticed Grandpa and Grandma. Of course, then it took off running.
I can't help but wonder how often we are that deer. We are the deer focused on what's ahead, the women walking towards us, rather than noticing what's going on around us.
I am that deer. I'm focused on my future career, job opportunities, and the next step rather than focusing on the here and now. I'm concerned about what I'm going to be doing when I get back from China rather than focusing on what I'll be doing while in China.
Are you the deer? Are you looking at what you'll be doing this weekend rather than what you're doing today? Are you expecting something when God's working in a different way?
Oh, deer,
<>< Katie
Apparently they were driving down a woodsy neighborhood road and there were some women walking down the street towards the car. In between their car and the women was a deer. The deer was focused on the pedestrians, so Grandpa slowed down and approached it as slowly and quietly as they could.
The car got right up next to the deer before the deer took its eyes from the women and noticed Grandpa and Grandma. Of course, then it took off running.
I can't help but wonder how often we are that deer. We are the deer focused on what's ahead, the women walking towards us, rather than noticing what's going on around us.
I am that deer. I'm focused on my future career, job opportunities, and the next step rather than focusing on the here and now. I'm concerned about what I'm going to be doing when I get back from China rather than focusing on what I'll be doing while in China.
Are you the deer? Are you looking at what you'll be doing this weekend rather than what you're doing today? Are you expecting something when God's working in a different way?
Oh, deer,
<>< Katie
Friday, June 24, 2011
Sharing Life
They didn't know I was in town. I knew I couldn't leave without seeing them.
After dinner one evening, I gave them a call. No answer. I called their cell phone. No answer. I called the house phone again. Still no answer.
"What do you want to do?" Laura asked. "Do you want to go over there and check or just wait awhile?"
I hesitated. There are some people in my life that the best (read: only) way to get a hold of them is face-to-face.
"Do you mind if we just run over there?"
She didn't.
We figured they were having Family Time. The phone does not interrupt Family Time but Katie and Laura are welcome to Family Time.
We were wrong.
The phone went unanswered because Ruth was out walking the dog. When we pulled up beside her she gave us a small wave. Her eyes were teary. We parked and ran over to hug her.
"Jesus sent you to me!" She said. Twice.
Her father who, despite being in his 90s, had been doing relatively well had taken a bad turn. She didn't know if he had hours to live or weeks. She didn't know if he'd still me alive in a week when they made the cross-country trip home. She didn't know if she wanted the opportunity to say goodbye or if she would prefer he pass quickly rather than suffer. It had only been a month since her mother went home to heaven.
The three of us walked around the neighborhood hand in hand, tear in tear. Then we sat on the couch together, journeyed back through life, and cried some more. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes we blubbered. Sometimes we sat in silence. We shared life.
We prayed to God. We praised God. We questioned God. We said, "Thy will be done."
Thanks to her sons, we were the hill in a painful rendition of King of the Hill. We were drooled on by the dog. We cleaned up the kitchen.
Laura and I had no idea what to expect when we decided just to go over. But we're so glad we did. God was using us and, at first, we had no idea.
Be intentional. Life is messy: share it with someone. Drop in to check on a friend. Let God provide your shoulder, your hug, your friendship for someone in need. You never know when your smile is the highlight of their day. When your kind word is really the Holy Spirit speaking directly to their heart.
<>< Katie
UPDATE: Earlier this week Ruth sat at her father's bedside and heard him draw his last breath before he went Home to his Father's House. Please take a minute to pray for the family as they are grieving but also rejoicing that he's now healthy and whole.
After dinner one evening, I gave them a call. No answer. I called their cell phone. No answer. I called the house phone again. Still no answer.
"What do you want to do?" Laura asked. "Do you want to go over there and check or just wait awhile?"
I hesitated. There are some people in my life that the best (read: only) way to get a hold of them is face-to-face.
"Do you mind if we just run over there?"
She didn't.
We figured they were having Family Time. The phone does not interrupt Family Time but Katie and Laura are welcome to Family Time.
We were wrong.
The phone went unanswered because Ruth was out walking the dog. When we pulled up beside her she gave us a small wave. Her eyes were teary. We parked and ran over to hug her.
"Jesus sent you to me!" She said. Twice.
Her father who, despite being in his 90s, had been doing relatively well had taken a bad turn. She didn't know if he had hours to live or weeks. She didn't know if he'd still me alive in a week when they made the cross-country trip home. She didn't know if she wanted the opportunity to say goodbye or if she would prefer he pass quickly rather than suffer. It had only been a month since her mother went home to heaven.
The three of us walked around the neighborhood hand in hand, tear in tear. Then we sat on the couch together, journeyed back through life, and cried some more. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes we blubbered. Sometimes we sat in silence. We shared life.
We prayed to God. We praised God. We questioned God. We said, "Thy will be done."
Thanks to her sons, we were the hill in a painful rendition of King of the Hill. We were drooled on by the dog. We cleaned up the kitchen.
Laura and I had no idea what to expect when we decided just to go over. But we're so glad we did. God was using us and, at first, we had no idea.
Be intentional. Life is messy: share it with someone. Drop in to check on a friend. Let God provide your shoulder, your hug, your friendship for someone in need. You never know when your smile is the highlight of their day. When your kind word is really the Holy Spirit speaking directly to their heart.
<>< Katie
UPDATE: Earlier this week Ruth sat at her father's bedside and heard him draw his last breath before he went Home to his Father's House. Please take a minute to pray for the family as they are grieving but also rejoicing that he's now healthy and whole.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Home
Last week I made my first trip to Baptist Country as an alumna. When we pulled into town, it didn't feel like I had been gone a month. It felt like we had just gone to Elizabeth's for the weekend.
Very little has changed.
A few trees have blown down, the construction projects have progressed, and there are not nearly as many cars in the parking lot.
So much has changed.
My ID card no longer lets me into buildings, my mailbox is boarded up, and I am not returning in the fall. Yet still it feels like home.
It was years ago when I first referred to that little town as "home." If I flew to The Homeland, I said I was flying home. If I flew to Baptist Country, I said I was flying home. The lines between "home" and "school" were so blurry that I gave up on what to call each place and declared travel days "Airplane Day," no matter which direction I was going.
What is home?
Is home my parents' house? Is home the college town where I went couch-surfing last week? What exactly is home?
I wish I posted everything I've drafted because in February I wrote a post entitled "Redefining Family." It claimed "family" was my five suitemates, my ten-person ministry team, and my lunch buddies. Sometimes family has little to do with blood relation.
Home is where your family is.
I'm having a hard time deciding where "home" is because my family is in The Homeland, my family is in Baptist Country, my family is in Nicaragua, in Guatemala... Does that make home all of those places as well?
In the same way that The Homeland will always be "home" because my family is here, Baptist Country will always be "home" because my family is there, too.
Beauty and the Beast taught me "home is where the heart is." If that's true, then I'm heartbroken. In Baptist Country, I want to be in The Homeland. While in The Homeland, I yearn for Baptist Country. I don't think this is necessarily a bad problem to have, but I am not a fan. For four years my life has been split by 900 miles, a chasm that is not closing anytime soon.
Until God sends me somewhere else, home will have to be my parents' house. No more trying to outsmart amazon.com to get packages delivered to my P.O. box. No more loitering in the caf. No more spontaneous trips to Wal-mart even though we don't need anything. No more "Katie, party of twelve, your table is ready."
As I struggle to define such a basic four-letter word, I must also remember that in the grand scheme of things, none of these places are "home." They are all temporary dwellings prior to an eternal home. I honestly believe that someday there will be no sixteen-hour drives and no time change because there will be no time at all. There will be a day when tears won't roll, hearts won't break, and pain won't hurt. All of God's children will be home, constantly singing praises to Him, for He deserves it.
That, my friends, will be Home.
<>< Katie
Very little has changed.
A few trees have blown down, the construction projects have progressed, and there are not nearly as many cars in the parking lot.
So much has changed.
My ID card no longer lets me into buildings, my mailbox is boarded up, and I am not returning in the fall. Yet still it feels like home.
It was years ago when I first referred to that little town as "home." If I flew to The Homeland, I said I was flying home. If I flew to Baptist Country, I said I was flying home. The lines between "home" and "school" were so blurry that I gave up on what to call each place and declared travel days "Airplane Day," no matter which direction I was going.
What is home?
Is home my parents' house? Is home the college town where I went couch-surfing last week? What exactly is home?
I wish I posted everything I've drafted because in February I wrote a post entitled "Redefining Family." It claimed "family" was my five suitemates, my ten-person ministry team, and my lunch buddies. Sometimes family has little to do with blood relation.
Home is where your family is.
I'm having a hard time deciding where "home" is because my family is in The Homeland, my family is in Baptist Country, my family is in Nicaragua, in Guatemala... Does that make home all of those places as well?
In the same way that The Homeland will always be "home" because my family is here, Baptist Country will always be "home" because my family is there, too.
Beauty and the Beast taught me "home is where the heart is." If that's true, then I'm heartbroken. In Baptist Country, I want to be in The Homeland. While in The Homeland, I yearn for Baptist Country. I don't think this is necessarily a bad problem to have, but I am not a fan. For four years my life has been split by 900 miles, a chasm that is not closing anytime soon.
Until God sends me somewhere else, home will have to be my parents' house. No more trying to outsmart amazon.com to get packages delivered to my P.O. box. No more loitering in the caf. No more spontaneous trips to Wal-mart even though we don't need anything. No more "Katie, party of twelve, your table is ready."
As I struggle to define such a basic four-letter word, I must also remember that in the grand scheme of things, none of these places are "home." They are all temporary dwellings prior to an eternal home. I honestly believe that someday there will be no sixteen-hour drives and no time change because there will be no time at all. There will be a day when tears won't roll, hearts won't break, and pain won't hurt. All of God's children will be home, constantly singing praises to Him, for He deserves it.
That, my friends, will be Home.
<>< Katie
Monday, June 20, 2011
Life-Long Friendships
My dad's birthday was earlier this month, so while everyone else was out, I had the job of answering our home phone. I don't usually pay any attention to the home phone because no one calls me there. But this particular day I did and what I saw was an area code from Baptist Country.
Even though I knew the call wasn't for me, I got excited. Talking on the phone to someone in that state made me feel closer to my college friends. It was the wife of one of my dad's college buddies calling to wish Dad a happy birthday.
A few hours later we received another call from Baptist Country. This time it was the husband of the woman who called earlier. I answered the phone and passed it on to the Birthday Boy.
Even though he went into the other room, I could still hear their bantering, the inside jokes and stories that never get old, and the gut-busting laughter. I couldn't help but smile. Even though their relationship has been mostly limited to an annual dinner (thanks to having a daughter in the area... wait, that was me) and birthday phone calls, my dad and Mark still have a friendship.
That brought me an amazing amount of encouragement to know that even when we're not seeing each other every day, my college friends and I can still joke around, retell stories, and (yes, even) sass each other. While the miles between us will change, our friendship will remain the same.
<>< Katie
PS: College friends who thought they were finally free of me and my sassy, sanitary self... so sorry!
Even though I knew the call wasn't for me, I got excited. Talking on the phone to someone in that state made me feel closer to my college friends. It was the wife of one of my dad's college buddies calling to wish Dad a happy birthday.
A few hours later we received another call from Baptist Country. This time it was the husband of the woman who called earlier. I answered the phone and passed it on to the Birthday Boy.
Even though he went into the other room, I could still hear their bantering, the inside jokes and stories that never get old, and the gut-busting laughter. I couldn't help but smile. Even though their relationship has been mostly limited to an annual dinner (thanks to having a daughter in the area... wait, that was me) and birthday phone calls, my dad and Mark still have a friendship.
That brought me an amazing amount of encouragement to know that even when we're not seeing each other every day, my college friends and I can still joke around, retell stories, and (yes, even) sass each other. While the miles between us will change, our friendship will remain the same.
<>< Katie
PS: College friends who thought they were finally free of me and my sassy, sanitary self... so sorry!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Blessing in Disguise
My friend Elizabeth was asked to lead an evening twenty-somethings Bible study at her church. No one thought to give her a key to the church, and she didn't think to ask for it.
So, after dinner, we pulled up to church without a way to get inside. Instead, we set up camp in the parking lot and began to study the Word of the Lord.
The evening was beautiful. A light breeze, no humidity, and a beautiful sunset. If we had had a key, we would have missed the beautiful day God created for us! It was absolutely perfect for sitting outside.
While we were finishing up our study, the pastor drove up and offered to let us inside. We were all pretty content with where we were. Then he told us they were going to shoot off fireworks from the field next to the church in a few minutes.
If we had been inside, we would have missed the fireworks, the coolest end to Bible study ever.
Sometimes what's seen as a problem, such as a lack of a key, can really be a blessing in disguise.
Are you looking for blessings in disguise?
<>< Katie
So, after dinner, we pulled up to church without a way to get inside. Instead, we set up camp in the parking lot and began to study the Word of the Lord.
The evening was beautiful. A light breeze, no humidity, and a beautiful sunset. If we had had a key, we would have missed the beautiful day God created for us! It was absolutely perfect for sitting outside.
While we were finishing up our study, the pastor drove up and offered to let us inside. We were all pretty content with where we were. Then he told us they were going to shoot off fireworks from the field next to the church in a few minutes.
If we had been inside, we would have missed the fireworks, the coolest end to Bible study ever.
Sometimes what's seen as a problem, such as a lack of a key, can really be a blessing in disguise.
Are you looking for blessings in disguise?
<>< Katie
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Falling Asleep While Praying
Last night, I fell asleep while praying.
The night before, I fell asleep while praying.
I don't remember the night before that, but I bet I fell asleep while praying.
Been there? Done that?
I used to fell bad about it. I mean, if I were in the middle of the conversation and the person I was talking to fell asleep, I'd be upset, right?
I don't feel bad about it anymore. In fact, I make it my goal to fall asleep while praying.
I'd much rather fall asleep with my thoughts focused on God than to finish praying and fall asleep worrying about tomorrow. I love for my day to end in conversation with the Lord.
Try it sometime. The peace that comes from it is... well, God-given.
<>< Katie
PS: But I don't fall asleep every time I pray...
The night before, I fell asleep while praying.
I don't remember the night before that, but I bet I fell asleep while praying.
Been there? Done that?
I used to fell bad about it. I mean, if I were in the middle of the conversation and the person I was talking to fell asleep, I'd be upset, right?
I don't feel bad about it anymore. In fact, I make it my goal to fall asleep while praying.
I'd much rather fall asleep with my thoughts focused on God than to finish praying and fall asleep worrying about tomorrow. I love for my day to end in conversation with the Lord.
Try it sometime. The peace that comes from it is... well, God-given.
<>< Katie
PS: But I don't fall asleep every time I pray...
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