Dear Fellow Compansions on This Flying Cesspool,
For the strangers who keep giving me the once-over, yes, I'm talking to you. No, you don't know me.
To the woman on the loud speaker, shut up.
To the man driving the golf-cart, I don't care how many times you offer me a ride. I have three hours and am able-bodied. I am good to go, thank you.
To the man complaining about his son, maybe we should trade books. You read Disconnect by Chap Clark and I'll read "Parents apparently don't play a role in their children's upbringing" that you've got your nose stuck in.
To the woman sitting in front of me, I don't care how many times you slam your body into the chair, it doesn't come back any further. In fact, those are my knees you're hitting. It hurts me just as much as it hurts you.
To the woman who can't get on this flight, I'm sorry the flight is full. Maybe next time it would be a good idea to book ahead of time.
To the woman with the small child, ever considered a sedative? (For yourself or the child)
To the man yawning while walking on the moving walkway, don't walk. It saves energy. Don't yawn, I've been up since 6:45am (in a different time zone), and I have four hours until I even get home. Twelve hours ago, I was finishing class for the day. My grades for that class are already posted. Should we compare long days?
To whoever thought it was smart to put flashing lights at the end of the moving walkway, you idiot. I'm very glad I don't have a photosensitive epilepsy.
To the people with the wheelchair on the moving walk-way, that was quite hilarious.
To the grounds crew who can't properly close the cargo door, thanks for delaying us 45 minutes. Just close it, let the pilot lie and say it's closed and move on. Whatever you do... DON'T CALL... Maintenance!
To the pilot who had the nerve to tell me we were flying right over my final destination, just let me off this darn plane! Give me a parachute, get me close, and we'll be good to go!
To everyone else who has caught my eye, thank you for your amusement.
Have a great day, here or wherever your final destination may be!