Monday, February 28, 2011

Sounding Totally Different

When I was in Costa Rica, we went for a hike on a mountain supposedly to see a beautiful sunset and volcanic eruption.  As we were climbing, we could hear this rumbling.

"Is that thunder?" We asked anxiously.

"No, that's the volcano's rumble.  They sound totally different," our guide replied in an accent that sounds British when I mock it.

Sheep are no strangers to the "totally different" sound.  They're relatively dumb animals but they have the amazing ability to recognize their shepherd's voice from a crowd, even after an extended period of time.

In John 10, Jesus calls His people sheep who recognize His voice, our Shepherd.

Can you hear the total difference in Christ's voice and the voice of others?  Sometimes it's easy to discern.  Other times it's like differentiating between a volcano rumble and thunder.
“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.”  John 10:14-16
Our Costa Rican guide explained the volcano's rumble and thunder would vibrate on the ear differently.  I couldn't hear or feel the difference.  I have reason to doubt the guide knew the difference too.  When we were halfway up the mountains, the heavens opened. We were drenched through our underwear.  They sound totally different, eh?
You'd think Christ's voice is totally different from anything else we hear.  Unfortunately, that's not always the case.  Sometimes it is incredibly difficult to discern His voice.  I wish I had some tips for recognizing our Shepherd's voice, but it really depends on the situation.  However, I have learned that the more time I spend in the Word the more clear His voice is to me. 
I have this joke-goal of being able to recognize my entire campus by voice, so I don't have to awkwardly venture in the living room when someone comes to visit.  I want to know who's here without leaving my desk.  Well, I can't do the whole campus, but I do recognize my suitemates by voice (and other things like how they close the door, where they drop their keys, and how heavily they step).  I recognize other frequent visitors by their knocks and noises. 

The more time you spend with someone, the easier to recognize his/her voice and behavior patterns.  The same is true for God.  The more time you spend with Him, the easier it is to recognize His will. 
Is it consistent with the God-character shown in the Bible?
Is it totally crazy?  (That usually means it's God...)
Is it confirmed through other believers?
Is it constantly on your heart/ mind?

What other tips/questions do you have for differentiating when the voices aren't totally different? 

Learning to differentiate,
<>< Katie

Friday, February 25, 2011

The Wedding Invitation

I opened my mailbox today hoping the envelope inside contained mission trip money (halfway!). It didn't. It was a wedding invitation.

I started to get really nostalgic. Four years ago, I was making faces through my PO box to the bride-to-be in the box on the opposite side of the post office. We were mischievously planning to tie a fishing line or broom stick from her box to mine to trip the post office employees in the morning (we never did it).

We were a five-some. Three seniors fretting about life after graduation. Two freshmen far away from home but excited about the college experience. All five single.

Now, four years later, my how things have changed! The three have all found themselves in language classrooms, whether here in the United States or in Korea. The two are now fretting life after graduation. One is eventually headed to a classroom of her own. The other is still holding out for a way to avoid the classroom (yeah, that's me). Four single. One engaged. Four years!

Part of me wants to go back. Back to the time where Friday nights were spent flipping the atlas open at random, jabbing our fingers down on the pages, and walking across campus in our slippers until we declared ourselves to be in Prairiesburg, Iowa, or Heart Butte, Montana. Back to the days when we'd laugh so hard we'd choke... on a daily basis. Back to the days when the blog was brand new and rarely updated.

Part of me doesn't want to go back. Sure, I love the laughter and adventure. But I'm a radically different woman now than I was then.

I've become more comfortable in my faith (a journey I hope to continue... always). I've moved from a silly college freshman to a more mature college (almost) graduate who's not afraid to be silly. The Baptist church where we worshipped merely because that's where the ride was going, I now call my Baptist church home.

"I am who I am," a statement I declared freshman year. I still am who I am but I am not who I was.

That's natural, good. It's been a big adventure in this tiny town. Four years has changed me a lot. I hope to say the same thing four years from now. Maybe I'll be sending out my own wedding invitations then. Or at least be able to write "two attending." But maybe not.

<>< Katie

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Author Interview: Jennifer Rogers Spinola

Hey, friends! All the cool kids are doing author interviews… so I figured I’d do one of my own. Jennifer Rogers Spinola is going through the process of publishing her novel, Southern Fried Sushi, that will be released in October 2011. Jenny currently lives in Brazil with her Brazilian husband Athos and their adopted son Ethan. For more information, check out her website at
<>< Katie

Katie: You’re in the process of publishing a novel. Tell us a little bit about Southern Fried Sushi. What should readers expect?

Jenny: Here's a portion from the original proposal: "An independent journalist coming face-to-face with her past, must start over again among the least likely people in the last place she'd expect."

The book follows award-winning journalist Shiloh Jacobs through a series of gut-wrenching events that force her out of Tokyo and the writing job she loves and to a hick, Southern Virginia town she's never heard of. The question is this: Can Shiloh, stuck in this small town with only a handful of unlikely friends to call family, find a way out?

As Shiloh begins to unravel the secret that changed her mother's life so powerfully, Shiloh realizes she must make a decision: to find forgiveness for her painful past or shut the door on God—and her troubled family life—forever.

Katie: What inspired this book?

Jenny: Since I'm a small-town girl who moved to Japan, I started to wonder what the opposite would be like. Gawking at skyscrapers is one thing but what would someone used to skyscrapers do in my small hometown where the biggest building is the local Wal-Mart? That intrigued me. A lot of story ideas start with plain old what ifs.

The other thing that led to this book is when I realized I was always writing about stuff that required research, stuff I didn't know very well. So one day I thought, "What if I write on a topic I know about?" And when I boiled it down, I realized I don't have "exciting" expertise in some area like medicine, forensic investigation, or something of the like that sells books. So what do I know about? 1) rednecks 2) living abroad

Katie: What have you learned through the process of writing a novel, the challenge of getting it published, and now the publishing process?

Jenny: Wow... where to begin? I have always loved to write. Period. I know nothing about publishing novels, and I'm not even in the right country to go to writer's conferences and learn all that stuff. But in impossible situations like mine is exactly where God loves to step in. The biggest help I've had came from fellow author (and former coworker) Roger Bruner, who had just received a contract with the same publishing company and walked me through the process step by step.

I've learned:
- Finish your novel, no matter what, because that forces you to write and think and work through the rough spots.
- Make use of a critique group, a dedicated small group of writers that come together and give encouragement.
- You just have to write. That's it. Every day. Even if you have no ideas. Even if what you write stinks. As long as you’re writing something, anything, those creative juices flow. And then finish.
- Publishing isn't as easy as it used to be (if it ever was). The market is flooded, so you have to come up with something different from what everybody else is doing but not so different that it won't sell.
- Reading helps writing. Try to always read someone better than you, and you'll pick up good habits.
- You can't send query letters anymore. The publishing market has changed significantly. Publishers don't read unsolicited stuff. You either have to have an agent, meet an interested editor at a writer's conference, or know someone who's already in the business. The bottom line is, though, that God still makes away even for the clueless, like me, when the time is right.
- Go to writer's conferences. I learned SO MUCH about writing and marketing, plus met lots of fellow writers, neat agents and editors, and bought cheap books.

Katie: How do you balance your time between writing, your family, a social life, and other responsibilities?
Jenny: It's really difficult with a husband, young child, church, plus friends, English (ESL) students, and all the work it takes to keep a home running in a foreign country.

So I do a couple of things:
- Get up early with my husband and write while he studies
- Shower in the evening. Really. Then when my two-year-old sleeps around mid-day I can spend my time writing not showering and drying my hair.
- Make writing a priority. If I have an hour of quiet time on the weekend, I usually choose to write. I always choose writing time over reading time because it's much easier to stick a book in your bag and read in line, read in the car, read outside while my son plays, but it's much harder to get that focused time where I can sit, think, and plug in my laptop.

Katie: What are some of your writing habits?
Jenny: If I get stuck I just write SOMETHING. Then when I realize I don't like it (doesn't take very long), it forces me to write something else.

I also try to keep at least one writing project on the back burner, even if I'm working on something else, so that I'm never without something to think/write about.

When I'm really into a crucial section in a story, I'll sometimes write for hours at a time, eating at my desk, and writing and rewriting paragraphs until I'm happy with it. Now that my son is bigger, it's harder to do that, so when I can't sit at my computer and write, I mentally go over plotlines and even individual words while I make lunch or change diapers so that when I get a minute, all that thinking comes out in one written chunk.

Katie: If you could be any two inanimate objects, what would you be and why?
1. A tree somewhere on top of a mountain. Living in the city, I miss nature. But I miss total expanses of wilderness. Mountain rains. Dawns. Falling leaves. Streams with bends that no one sees.
2. A Japanese fan, with all the color and life folded neatly inside its deceptively fragile paper.

Katie: Thank you so much for your time. Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Jenny: Well, my life sure has turned out differently than I expected. I left full-time writing a few years back to serve as a short-term Baptist missionary in Japan which changed my life and outlook on many things. I also met my Brazilian husband there; we got married after my term ended and moved to Brazil. Now we've adopted a son who was born at 24 weeks with major medical issues, and we've seen God's healing miracle in his life, so that we can hardly contain our joy at his health and happiness and love of life.

If you'd have asked me back in college if my life would end up this way, I'd have laughed out loud. I was dating a local boy from home in Virginia and planning to get married after graduation. I never wanted to be a missionary and prayed God would never send me overseas.

My biggest advice: Follow God. Love God. He works everything out in your life in a greater way than you can imagine. And He *loves* surprises.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Lost In His Will

I enjoy getting lost.

Sometimes in my car, but more often when I'm on foot (and it's not cold outside).

Over Christmas break, I spent four days getting lost in Rochester, Minnesota.  My only goal for my four days there was to get lost (and un-lost) in the Mayo Clinic without getting locked in or needing my jacket (aka going outside).  If you've never been to Mayo, you may not understand the vastness of the clinic.  It pretty much covers the whole town and is connected by underground pedestrian subways.  It's huge!

In my getting lost, I walked towards beautiful architecture and away from anatomically-correct statues.  I didn't stop for directions, didn't stop to wonder if I was allowed to be where I was, and didn't carry a map.  I wasn't bothered by dead-ends, told myself elevators were cheating, and read every sign (a dangerous thing to do in a clinic).  It was so much fun!

I want to get lost in life.  Lost in God's will.  I want to be content without a map.  I want to enjoy the journey rather than take the elevator and race to the top.  I want to be comforted with His directions and read every sign along the way.

"Do you need directions?" The man asked as I glanced down my three hallway choices.  Each a white tunnel in your perfect, stereotypical intersection.

"No, I'm just wandering," I said.

"Well, then you're in a good place because you can go just about anywhere from here."

That is where I am in the pedestrian subway that is life.  I'm at an intersection where I can go any way from here.  I know that in any path, God will use me where I am.  Yet, still, the decision of which path to choose is incredible difficult.

When lost in Rochester, I trusted that there was a way back to my hotel that did not require a jacket/ going outside.  I would not have to leave Mayo property to get back home.  Likewise, I trust that there is a way heaven-home that does not require stepping out of the will of God.  As long as I keep walking, He'll continue to show me the way.  And maybe I'll run into beautiful things along the way.

I want to get lost in His Will,
<>< Katie

PS: Here are some photos from my exploring Mayo.

(Isn't that the most beautiful Barnes & Noble ever?)

Friday, February 18, 2011

Life Box

One of my friend's art expressions class had to fill a box with items to represent them.  Any kind of box/container was accepted.  One student used a guitar case; my friend used a shoe box.  The then had to present the items in their box, explaining its representation, and talking about themselves for ten minutes.

In telling us about this project, I asked my friend what she put in her box.

"A guitar pick because I'm learning guitar.  A flip flop because I'm from the beach.  Pictures of my family and my best friends.  A puzzle piece because I love puzzles.  My favorite scarf because fashion is really important to me..."

She went on for a long time trying to remember all of the items in her box.

"Oh, and I put in a Book of Common Prayer because I couldn't put in a Bible," she said.

"Why couldn't you put in a Bible?"  I figured maybe it was a class rule.

"It didn't fit."

I continued to listen patiently but inside my heart was breaking.  We all pack our life box and realize God doesn't "fit" into the plan we've created.  We take everything out, rearrange a little bit, and realize everything's not going to fit.  Some thing's going to have to go.  But what?  We're attached to everything.  Letting go of anything is a painful part of life.  But, unfortunately, it's necessary.  Sometimes God asks us to say good bye to hobbies, relationships, locations, traditions...

The question is: are you building your life box around Him or are you trying to fit Him in at the last second?

<>< Katie
PS: What would you put in your life box?
Mine: my Bible, my iPod (we'll pretend I have a working one), my Writer's Notebook, my purple Nalgene, my phone, some hand sanitizer (of course), lotion, the ring and cross necklace I wear daily, a glassblown cup, a scrapbook, and my passport (for journeys past and present), and a book to read all in a Louis M. Martini wine box to represent my cultural heritage.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Great Things

I was thinking about next year and how I don't have any idea where I'm headed in May.  I've sent MFA applications to five schools around the country.  The closest to home is six hours away.  The closest to here is five hours away.  Of all five schools, the one with the closest family friends is three hours, my friend Rebecca's extended family.

I began to think about Rebecca's little sister Kaitlyn who's finally on the uphill climb in her horrific battle with Lyme Disease.  She has miraculously regained mobility but remains hyper-sensitive to touch, sound, light, smells, etc.  She's made huge steps (no pun intended) but has a long way to go.

Katie: God, You've given her such a great testimony of spiritual strength through physical weakness.  You're going to do such great things with Kait!  I'm so excited to see it!
God: Actually, Katie, I'm not going to wait until she's healed to do great things with her.  I'm doing great things with her right now.  I'm using her as she is, where she is.

I began to think about how God can and is doing the same things in each of our lives.  He's not waiting until we're healed, until we're in a middle-of-nowhere grad school, until we're all put together.

He is using us right now, where we are, as we are.

Being used,
<>< Katie

PS: For more about Kaitlyn's story, check out her caringbridge.  You do have to register for the site but it's open to anyone with a (free) CaringBridge account.

Monday, February 14, 2011

The Ultimate Valentine

Happy February 14- the day singles stick out like sore thumbs and couples flaunt their relationship.

I'm not bitter.

No, really, I'm not.  My self worth is not measured in how many flowers are delivered to my doorstep today.  This may be the one day a year when my self esteem is not directly related to what I find in my mailbox. 

Valentine's Day shouldn't be about sappy cards, chocolate, and candy hearts (although, those things are nice), it should be about the same thing the other 364 days a year are about: showing love.  Why celebrate in one day what God commands us to do every day?

Even though today creates a chasm between the two, couples and singles still have something in common: someone loves them.  A spouse, a friend, a parent, a roommate...

A Creator of the Universe?  Uh, yeah!

Friends, God loves you.  Yes, you.  He loves you more than you could ever know.  He loves you so much He sacrificed His Son.  Christ relinquished His position in the eternal, wonderful heaven, came to earth in a germy manger, and lived a perfect life just to die a criminal's death.  Because of that love for you, He didn't stay dead!  Yes, for you.

Jesus provided the perfect example of love, not just for February 14 but every day.

My prayer for you today is that you find peace and comfort in the truth that God loves you.  May the Holy Spirit fill you with His love and may you radiate that love to others.

<>< Katie

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Dancing Like David

David danced before the Lord.

We know this.  It's a popular verse. (2 Samuel 6:14).  The part we tend to skip over is that he was wearing only an linen ephod.  He was in his underwear.

When was the last time you danced in your underwear?  (Don't answer that).

But seriously, if dancing in your underwear isn't acceptable in our time, I highly doubt it was accepted in David's.

When was the last time you did something socially unacceptable but for God's glory?  When was the last time you didn't care what others thought?  When was the last time you praised God in the way you felt most appropriate (no pun intended)?  (You can answer those).

<>< Katie

PS: Inspired by Francis Chan's Forgotten God.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Light Your World

It was somewhere between 11:30pm and midnight.  I turned off the light and began the stringray shuffle towards my bed.  About 3/4 of the way there I stopped, contemplating a Lambeau Leap into bed just to entertain Jennifer.  Jennifer!  I turned around and shuffled back towards the blinking light switch.  As soon as I hit it, my roommate Jennifer and I doubled over in laughter.

Well, I doubled over; she almost fell out of bed.  It wasn't really that funny, but we laughed until our stomachs hurt.  Everything's funnier in the middle of the night, right?

She had been reading when I walked in from the bathroom, turned off the light, and headed to bed. 
Here's the kicker: I totally knew she was reading and turned out the light without thinking anything of it! 
Here's the second kicker: She didn't say anything!

I guess you had to be there.  We laughed until we couldn't breathe.  That could be hazardous to your health.

You know what else could be hazardous to your health?  Absent-mindedly going through life.  Turning off the light before you get into bed despite the fact that your roommate is reading.  Making it your goal to get from Point A to Point B as fast as you can without noticing the people you pass on your way.  Every day counting down until the next day when you can sleep in.

I consider myself pretty observant and friendly.  I noticed Jen was reading.  I wave to snowplow drivers.  I address people by name when I pass them on campus.

But get me in the caf and I am in a zone!  Sure, I'll talk if I'm in line, but most people tell me they saw me in the caf but I looked like I was in a hurry, so they didn't say hi.  In the caf, sometimes I don't acknowledge people until they call my name.  Clueless. 

What if we took the time to notice the other people in the caf?  Instead of just seeing bodies in between us and the milk, what if we saw the faces of God's children?  What if we actually payed attention to what we were doing rather than doing it half-heartedly or rush?

What if we left the light on for someone?
What if we cared?

<>< Katie

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Project 7

What can make or break a college student's self-esteem in mere seconds?
A trip to the post office.

For years I've been listening to Peder Eide talk about Taste Worship's family bonding activities.  My family is mostly grown, lives in three states, and refuses to participate in anything I suggest.  I'm sick of waiting for a future family to apply the things I'm learning.

Last week I began to ponder: what about my Ministry Team Family?  We're a group of ten students who go out in the community and lead youth retreats, lock-ins, Wednesday nights, etc.  We spend time weekly sharing life by praying for each other, talking about what God has been teaching us lately, sharing our testimonies, doing devotions, etc.

Like all good ideas, what if?  What if we all do our own Project 25?  The idea is that you write, "I love you because" on the top of a piece of paper and then list 25 reasons why you love a particular family member.  Well, 25 things I love about that person is a lot to come up with for someone I met six months ago and see once a week for an hour.

The what ifs continued and out popped Project 7.  I immediately facebooked the idea to my co-leader.  If I hadn't, I probably would have chickened out.  My mailbox was empty that day and thus so was my self-esteem.

By the strength of the Holy Spirit, I pitched the idea to my team.  What if every day for the next seven days we as a team were each going to anonymously encourage a certain team member?  Lift them up in prayer, affirm them, mail them Bible verses and candy, etc.  I really thought they'd think it lame.  (Mailbox was empty that day, too).  I told them to be creative.

We exchanged names and went on our way. I prayed everyone would participate so no one was left out.  I had no idea how God would use a silly "What If?" idea.

Day One
I saw three excited facebook status updates thanking their Project Seven person.

Day Two
Taste Worship sent out the Project 25 idea.  I realized how far we've come from the original idea!

Day Three
One girl told me she was loving sending her Project Seven person anonymous notes.  It took some prodding to figure out she was not receiving anything but she didn't mind.  (Her sender was home sick).

Day Four
God used my Project Seven Person to encourage me exactly how I needed it that day.

Day Five
Blew! My! Mind!  A friend not on my team cornered me in the caf. 
"Hypothetically, if my Project Seven person lives in your apartment and I, hypothetically, had something to leave on her bed.  Would you, hypothetically, let me in?"
Hypothetically, how did you learn about Project Seven?
Another team stole the idea and were participating as well!  How awesome is that?

Day Six
I began to get emails and text messages, "Are we going to do this again next week?!  We're not meeting this week because of the Green Bay Packers bringing the Lombardi Trophy home to Titletown, can we keep sending our person stuff?"

Day Seven
I have a gift in my backpack to slide into a friend's backpack tomorrow... on behalf of my roommate who didn't have any idea that this whole cockamamie scheme developed in her own bedroom.

God multiplied a simple "What if?" idea and used it well beyond what I could have ever dreamed!  The only credit I can take is obediently following the prompting of the Spirit.

Some of our creative ideas:
- campus mailed handwritten notes containing encouragement and Bible verses and accompanied with candy bars (campus mail is free)
- a card with seven note cards: one for each day (sent through real mail... postage paid)
- notes slid under dorm room doors
- affirming text messages sent from blocked numbers
- a phone call on behalf of a Project Seven Person with a personal, encouraging message.

And unlike most things that happen in my suite, Project Seven has stayed anonymous.  No one wants to be figured out!  They want to keep it a secret and guess at our next meeting.  Our next meeting we will, by popular demand, re-exchange names and do it again, getting more creative as the semester progresses.

Two lessons here:
1. Let the Holy Spirit use you.  Don't make our self-esteem depended on what you receive (or don't receive) in the mail.  Be willing to be bold.
2.  A little bit of encouragement goes a long, long way.  The knowledge that someone is praying for you is HUGE!

<>< Katie
PS: Feel free to take this idea and use it as you and the Lord see fit.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Do Good

Do Good
Good works don't save you.  But when you are saved, you do good works.

Do It Well
Every night when I was in Guatemala, Neal encouraged us with very similar words.
"What we're doing here is God's work.  That means we are to do it to the best of our ability.  Yes, we get tired.  Yes, it's tedious.  But we need to continue.  It's not a race.  Do the best you can, even if that means going slowly."

Do It Quietly
Boast in the Lord, not in yourself.  If you tell the story, make sure you give credit where credit is due.  Don't twist it around.  It's His story.  Not ours.

Do it for Christ
Most important.

Ephesians 2:8-10
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Grace and peace, friends,
<>< Katie

Friday, February 4, 2011


Nikki asked me to write a very transparent short piece about on campus interactions with non-Christians.  She wanted me to write those things that I'd never say out loud to anyone.  A bunch of us had similar assignments that would be recorded as sound clips over videos of campus.

As I pondered this assignment, I was immediately drawn to the Great Divide that is the cafeteria salad bar.  Our school has a long-standing joke that the salad bar divides the campus: Christian, non-athletes on one side; non-Christian, athletes on the other.  Of course, there are exceptions, but this is the stereotype.
Sometimes I forget there are non-Christians here, too.  But then I walk on the wrong side of the salad bar to get some yogurt. Instantly I feel judged and unwelcome.  Like I'm supposed to be perfect because I love Jesus.  I'm supposed to always love, always care, and always be willing to help. 
"I'm not perfect," I want to shout.  Like that's an excuse.  An excuse to exhibit un-Christ-like behavior.  An excuse to be inconsiderate.  An excuse to judge.

It's not them, it's me who's doing the judging.  I shoot evil glares when I see someone struggling in class.  I avoid non-Christians like they have some kind of contagious disease I'm going to catch just from looking them in the eye.

Some of my close family members aren't Christians; they're not poisonous.  I hug, love, and serve them.  Why can't I do the same for my peers?
The night the video played and my northern accent ran through the full auditorium I realized that we divide ourselves even there at worship.  I had accidentally chosen a seat behind four boys who... well, aren't from my side of the salad bar.

They sat an empty seat between each of them so that their legs in athletic shorts or sweatpants could be spread apart.  They were so buff they could have swallowed me whole if they had wanted to. 

The head of the man right in front of me blocked my view of the speaker.  The speaker who looks like the stereotypical Jesus and has my same haircut.  Instead of marveling at these things, I was stuck staring at this guy's backwards baseball cap with our mascot on it.  Our mascot that looks like he's sharting.

He wasn't the only one.  Someone near me, potentially one of the four athletes who could swallow me whole, let one rip.  I didn't hear it.  I just smelled it.  Check your shorts, dude!

My dad's the king of SBDs.  I grew up surrounded by rancid rear-end smells.  If I have to breathe in through my mouth, it's bad!  It was bad!
"Some of my family members are not Christians.  I hug, love, and serve them.  Why can't I do the same for my peers?"
You hypocrite!

For the next hour I watched Mr. Swallow Me Whole.  He had his Bible with him.  After flipping to the scripture passage for the night, he handed it to his friend two seats over.  Then he pulled out his "assorted electronic device" and read along with the Jesus-twin speaker.  He removed his hat when we prayed.  He pulled the "Statue of Liberty" and sang along.  He even gave an "Amen!"

You hypocrite!

You talk about destroying the salad bar divide and you build a brick wall between you and the seat in front of you!  All because you're scared.  Scared that such a large man might have a heart for Christ.  Scared that your brother might swallow you whole.  Scared that God hears both of your prayers.  Katie, that's ridiculous.

Mr. Swallow Me Whole, it was a joy to worship behind you last week.  Thank you for not biting off my head when I realized I was a hypocrite.  Let's do it again sometime.  But maybe I'll bring some air freshener.

<>< Katie

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Wacky Wednesday

Allyson: I had to put studs in my ears because my right ear was growing up.
Jennifer: Really?  Getting more mature, too?
Katie: Is it going to graduate high school?

Andy: Katie, go home.
Katie: I am home.  You can leave.

Nikki: The way Katie plays with hair stresses me out.

Nikki: NO PDA!
Elizabeth: That wasn't PDA!  He blew a raspberry on my cheek!  There's no affection!

Katie: Nikki, I find it really easy to appreciate you when I don't see you.

Katie [voice]: Andy, if you're in the bathroom for more than five minutes, I'm calling 911.
[Five minutes later]
Katie [text]: It's been five minutes.  I'm calling 911.
Andy [text]: I am 911!
Katie [voice]: ANDY!
Andy [voice... from the bathroom]: What?
Katie: This boy's been in my bathroom for more than five minutes.

Katie: You guys can come to my wedding, but it won't be dry.
Jennifer: Then I'm bringing a poncho.

Matt: Missions is praying, giving, and going.  If you're not a missionary, you're a mission field.

Nikki: Half the things they talk about in that song we don't do on campus. ["Cheats" by Carrie Underwood]
Katie: Break into cars.  Slash tires.
Andy: Listen to country music.

Amber: Is it weird that I don't like being complemented on my interpreting because I don't want to interpret?
Katie: No.  It's like me being complemented on my poetry.

Elizabeth: Katie, while you're just standing there, would you make some chocolate chip cookies please? [We don't have an oven]

Elizabeth: Why can't we just defrost the dough in the oven?
Nikki: Because the oven is not a defroster.
Elizabeth: Then put them in the microwave.
Amy: This IS college!  I'll call my mom.  Mom, this is an emergency!  Do we have to thaw the cookie dough before we make them?  The directions say to thaw completely but we want cookies NOW!

Katie: I color my hair so I don't get confused for my sister.
Nikki: I never get confused for my sister.  Mostly because I'm twice her size.
Jennifer: Dye it--
Nikki: Diet?
Jennifer: --red.

Allyson: Guys, it sounds and feels like there's a thunderstorm in my stomach.
Jennifer: Oooh!  I want to hear it!
Katie: Is there lightning too?

Nikki: Katie, I don't understand you sometimes.  I wish I were you sometimes.

Church member: Where's your baby?
New Father: We took her back.
College student: Did you get your money back?
New Father: No, you always lose money on those kinds of things.

Nikki: I'd like to make an announcement: It's the day before Tuesday.  It's Monday.

Katie: What does it say?
Stephen: Avada Kedavra.
Sara: You just killed Katie Ax!
Katie: AHHH!  That's ok.  God gave me new life.

Katie: Better [dropping a computer] on a glass table than on my head.

Amy: Make origami.
Katie: I don't know how to make any origami that's pretty.
Jennifer: Like me.
Katie: If I knew origami, I would make a pretty you.  Or if I were your parents.
Jennifer, Amy: What did you say?
Katie: I said what you thought I said.
Amy: You said, 'your pants?'

Denaj: Jesus is a great editor.

Matt: God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.

Katie: I'm donating blood tomorrow.
Andy: Are you going to let me start your IV?
Katie: Are you going to be there?
Andy: No.
Katie: Then no.
Andy: Do you have good veins?
Katie [rolling up my sleeve to look]: Yes?
Andy: I could hit them with a needle from across the room.  Yes!

Jennifer: I want to say something funny so you will write it in your nerdy notebook.
Nikki, Katie: That doesn't count.

David: Slim pickins.
Heather: Good thing God doesn't say that about us!

Rob: God will move mountains if we're willing to put in the shovel.

Jonathan Martin: If you ask for the fire of God to fall down, just be prepared because you never know what you're going to get.

Katie: ... yogurt out the wazoo.
Nikki: Ew!  I don't eat yogurt from the wazoo.
Jennifer: What's a wazoo?
Nikki: I think it's some secret anatomical place.
Katie: Ask Andy.
Jennifer: He would know: he's a wa who lives in a zoo.

Jonathan Martin: What have you done today without expecting anything in return?

Jennifer: Katie, you're lamo kablamo.  Put on your wrinkle shirt and lick a bone!

Katie: I'm going to go to my room.  People like me there.
Nikki: Katie, there's no one in there.
Katie: Your point?

Katie: It smells like campfire in here.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm straightening my hair.

Katie: Did you do anything fun today?
Andy: No, I didn't [because] I didn't work today.  BUT!  I did sign up for some EMS hours.

Nikki: Vulnerability and transparency.  They're yucky and they're good.  They're like vegetables.

By the way, I gave in and am now on Twitter (@KatieAx3), so you can follow our suite bantering in real-time and see quotes that inspire me throughout the day.

Happy Wednesday!  I pray no one is drowning in the Snowpocalypse.

<>< Katie