I've always struggled with fear of rejection. Part of it comes from eight long years of middle and high school feeling like an outcast.
But overcoming the fear of rejection is more than having a place saved for you at the lunch table. More than hearing the words, "Katie, we'd love for you to live in our apartment." More than, "Will you go to the dance with me?"
It also involves a graduate school saying, "We see potential in her and want to grow her." It's an employer saying, "We want her on our team!" It's someone, anyone, saying "I believe in you."
Fear of rejection is still very real in my life, even if my name is shouted joyously when I enter the caf. It still has a bigger hold than I'd care to admit, a bigger hold than I thought it did six months ago.
But in Christ I've found someone who says, "I believe in you." I've found acceptance. And it comes from the Creator of the Universe. What more can one want?
Maybe I don't know what comes after China, but I am slowly learning to say, "It's going to be alright." And do you know why?
Because God IS good. ALL the time.
Even when it's hard to believe. Even when you get seven rejections in five months. Even when the world says, "She's not good enough." Even when you're alone at the lunch table.