Christina: Will it go on your blog?
Katie: You betcha.
Mom: On Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: Yup. I haven't had a Wacky Wednesday in awhile.
Mom: What?! You've been with your family! How could you NOT have a Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: I have plenty of quotes for a Wacky Wednesday, but I haven't written one.
Christina: Have a Friday Edition of Wacky Wednesday.
Mom: On Thursday!
Katie: It seems only appropriate since I have no idea what day of the week it is anyway.
Mom: Ooooh! I'm a trash compactor and I can vacuum seal the bag!
Dad: How did I get in this family?
Auntie Gwennie: Better question: how do I get out?
Katie: We're lost... outside (without the car)... in Minnesota... in January! All because Mom wanted seafood... in Minnesota... in January! It might be August before I warm up!
Mom: Then we can go to Denise and Greg's, and Greg can do the photo shoot in his... jammies.
Laura: As long as he doesn't sleep naked.
Auntie Gwennie: Doesn't iron give you energy or something?
Uncle Bill: Tina, you've taken anatomy. Is that true?
Christina: Well, we studied iodine.
Mom [making white frosting]: There's something green in here. Oh, and red. Who put jimmies in my frosting?
Katie: Jimmy! Get out of the frosting!
Laura: Jimmy want to go in the frosting for a swim.
Katie: No, Jimmy licks the frosting.
[Grandpa Jim taught my sisters and me to steal frosting from a cake without anyone noticing]
Dad: What's wrong? Why are you up so early?
Katie: It's ten-thirty, eleven-thirty to my body.
Dad: That's it.
Aunt Denise: Gail! You can't give him a present just because it says his name!
Mom: It says his name, just in the wrong spot!
Dad: Get naked and give me twenty.
Uncle Jay: I am not getting naked in front of you! And I'm not giving you twenty bucks either for that matter.
Mom: I will not put the Advent candles on Christina's birthday cake!
Katie: Ok, Daddy, I'm ready! I'm even wearing Grandma's long underwear. Where'd you go?
Dad: I'm hiding!
Mom: Do you want a poker stick to get the Christmas lights all the way up there?
Dad: I don't need a poker stick. I have Katie!
I was startled out of dream world by Laura's shouting.
Laura: That's ok; she loves me!
Without opening my eyes I knew--much to my dismay--that I was the she.
Katie: No she doesn't!
That wasn't going to stop her. When my bedroom door flew open, I threw my pillow over my face. There was no way to avoid whatever I was about to be the victim of, but my pillow would protect my face as I prayed for the best. Laura crawled on top of me in bed. Between the two of us, we make a normal-sized person, but that doesn't mean I like to be on the bottom of our person.
Laura: Katie, give me a hhhhhhhhug!
Mom [to Dad]: Do not pants your daughter!
Laura: Mom, I saw an animal outside.
Mom: What kind of animal was it?
Laura: Um... a giant white gerbil with a raw tail.
Mom: An opossum.
Man at Quiznos: Chips?
Mom: No, thanks.
Man: Beer, bourbon, scotch?
Mom: Oooh! Scotch, please.
Ben: Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Ax. Sorry in advance for drinking all of your milk.
He and three friends (the one other male among them being lactose intolerant) were here thirty-six hours, and they drank three gallons of milk.
Christina: Katie, what are you going to do when you're married?
Katie: Have kids.
Christina: And make them empty the dishwasher? Even your one year old? Does he have to empty the dishwasher?
Katie: It's a she.
Christina: And your three month old? Does she have to empty the dishwasher, too?
Katie: Yeah, he gets the plates up to the top shelf without needing any help. Wait a second! Why do I have a one year old and a three month old? Oh boy!
Christina: Your husband was married before. Katie got a used one!