Author's Note: The following is a collection of real quotations heard in conversation or taken from books over the last month. Some names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent. <>< Katie
Jennifer: EEEEEKKK! We're going to Nepal!
Katie: No, we're not. We're going to McDonald's.
Grandma: Lord love a duck!
John Boy [to Susie Ann]: That was pretty good for a woman from the North.
Katie: Ouch!
Gavin: You just lost your ghostwriter.
John Boy: No! You aren't from the North.
Katie: I'm practically from Canada.
John Boy: North isn't a place you're from, it's a way you act. You don't act like you're from the North.
Katie: I'm more offended by that because you're telling me I'm untrue to my heritage.
John Boy: No, it's a good thing.
Katie: Just take your soda and go away.
John Boy: Soda! You are from the North.
Gavin: 'Round here we cal it Pepsi.
Mom [to an empty bench]: Why are you smoking?
Katie: You are a good driver.
Nikki: Thanks, that's really affirming to me.
Katie: I know. That's why I keep saying it.
Nikki: Katie saw me when I was in my panicky driver mode. Katie, even though I don't drive the interstate back from Melia's, I know how to do it now. Correctly.
Allyson: Wait. You drove in her panties?
Mara: Down South, they panic and buy bread if the weather gets cold. Up North, we panic, buy buns, and grill out if it gets warm.
[Airport gate kept changing]
Sasha: BINGO!
Mom: There's no "A" in Bingo!
Nikki: Josh Groban, he's like a dramatic singer.
Katie: People need to come up with new encouragement.
Amber: But you're beautiful. No, wait, that's the encouragement for the pregnant not the jobless.
[Go tell a pregnant woman she's beautiful. She probably hasn't been told today].
Katie: I'm trying to talk to Jesus right now.
Stephen: Oh! Sorry!
Katie: It's ok. He forgives you.
Stephen: Oh good.
Katie: I don't.
Stephen: You need to talk to Him a bit more.
Jett: Are you putting that tramp color [eyeliner] on Katie?
Katie: This looks like an EKG.
Amy: Is that a Bible translation?
[Ricky, Garret on the couch]
Rebekah: Man, you guys should eat chocolates together.
Katie: Are you trying to get my pen working?
Grandma: Who are you talking to now?
Katie: No one. I'm making fun of you on the internet. [Twitter]
Jett: Can't we text cute boys instead?
Annie: At some point in life you're going to be acquainted with Vicodin. It's going to be awful, but you'll have to do it.
Rebekah: Don't spill on the carpet or I'll cut your head off.
Jim: You know what? I'm sick of my head anyway.
Grandma: That hurted me.
Katie: [Pointing to my ears] That hurted me too!
"Never let a hurried lifestyle disturb the relationship of abiding in Him." -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Jan. 23
Jett: What smells like bacon?
Mom: My bacon.
Hunter: People from my church call me all the time and leave these long messages so my voicemail fills up after three or four messages. I know they are hurting and they can just say, "Pastor call me back." Instead they go into all these details and the cell phone isn't going to talk back anyway.
Katie: Anyone want anything?
Garret: Water. No ice. No ice!
Katie: Any particular color cup?
Garret: Green if you have it.
Katie: We only have pink.
Garret: Awe man! I don't know if I even want water anymore. Don't give me pink!
Rebekah: When I lift up the couch, look and see if there's anything there.
Katie: There's nothing there.
Rebekah: I have a really good grip. Look again.
Jennifer: I'm so done with homework. I wish I could just grind my teeth! [Beat] Don't quote that because it made no sense.
Jett: Chocolate helps everything.
Christina: Cheese always makes me feel sicker.
Jett: Cheese and chocolate are not the same thing.
Christina: They both have the "Ch" sound!
Mom: That's about it. Cherries. Chimmy chungas. Try those, too.
[Dusk]
Stranger on the Street: Do you have your night-vision goggles on?
Katie: No.
SS: Good girl! [High five. Walking away] No wonder you're in college.
Katie: What should I draw? The verse talks about hospitality.
Amy: Hum... me?
Katie: I'll draw a sun.
Billy Bob: It was funny then. It just makes no sense now.
Katie: Well, I'll just laugh when you walk down the hall.
Billy Bob: [Excited] Would you!? Everyone else does! You'll be part of the crowd.
Jim: You can look up your "god" on the internet all you want, but I'm building a relationship with mine.
Mom: He [Hank the cat] has to keep an eye on you so you don't leave too.
Katie: He's using an eye-tooth rather than an eyeball.
Mom: Whatever works.
Rebekah: I'd rather sleep in Jim's bed than Wes's bed.
Katie: I'd rather sleep in neither.
Rebekah: Well, yes, that would be ideal.
Julie: I don't mind feet in the pool.
Katie: Everything's ok in the pool.
Ricky: Woah! Woah! Woah! That's not a rule of thumb.
Mom: This is what cabin-living is all about: pick up the furniture and move it where you want it.
Katie: Someone just knocked on the door.
Garret: It was Jesus. He's knocking on the door of your heart.
Katie: He's already got the key.
Garret: Maybe there's a deadbolt.
Katie: There are four, and He has those keys too.
Adam: People are like Tootsie Roll Pops, sometimes it takes a few tries to get to their soft center. This doesn't mean go around licking people! It means don't give up.
Showing posts with label Christina. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christina. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Wacky Wednesday
From Katie: The following is a collection of quotes and crazy conversations brought to my attention during the month of January. <>< Katie
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Taft: Wikipedia is blocked by HPPA.
Brett: I miss having hair. I used to have headaches when I had hair. Actually, I didn't. I never got headaches when I had hair but now I don't have hair and get headaches all of the time.
[Via text message]
Katie: We should catch up one of these days.
Kevin: We should catch up. Who is this?
Michael: This tastes like cocoa butter.
Stephen: Cocoa butter? That's for stretch marks!
Aunt Jett: Don't squeeze the cat. She might explode or something.
"Christianity can grow and flourish under some of the most difficult opposition, but it will prosper very little when people refuse to be changed by it." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 130
Lauren: I'm so not ready for a big girl job. I still get excited about foamy soap.
Mom: The wind must be coming from the west. The train sounds like a dead cow.
Christina: A dead cow, Mom? You realize that dead cows don't make any noises, right?
Mom: How many dead cows have you hung out with? They could make farting noises.
Brit: Decaf? Are you trying to stay awake? [Beat] Wait. I mean go to sleep?
Uncle Jack: [Hands in the air] I didn't do that! [Beat] Did I?
Mom: No, you didn't put the meese peep on the marinated rug.
Rebekah: You're such a good kitty when you're not being a bad kitty.
"If we're waiting for the needy to walk through our church doors, we may wait a long time. God doesn't wait for people to come to Him. He goes to them and desires to intervene right at the point of their need. He's looking for a few brave people, like the Apostle Paul, who are willing to go rather than wait for them to come. He's not looking for show-offs. He's looking for people through whom He can show off His Son. May we be some of those people." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 151
Danielle: You can't say "Indian style." It's offensive.
David: It's criss-cross apple sauce.
Casey: I'm allergic to applesauce. That offends me.
Aunt Jett [About her husband]: One of the best things about him is his ability to drive backwards.
Katie: Hank [the cat] let me pet him for a long time today! Like two pets.
Stephen: Why does everyone rub my head?
Rebekah: It's your spiritual gift.
Brett: Your head is my heroine.
Christina: Mom, does Dad's arm look swollen?
Mom: Yes, of course. He's been karate chopping live trees.
"God wants to be found. He does not will for any to miss Him, and His is so gracious to show up right where we are looking--so He can take us beyond anything we've ever seen." - Beth Moore, To Live isa Christ, 151
Allyson: The overnight forecast is snow. Either that or stars.
Stephen: I read your blog faithfully except for recently. What's Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: If you read my blog, how can you not know about Wacky Wednesday?
David: Wacky Wednesday is arguably the best day of the month!
Evan: Twitter makes me like people I don't know. Facebook does the opposite.
Dad: What's the plural of moose?
Aunt: Elk!
Taft [praying]: Lord, don't smit us.
Rebekah: Then why doesn't he just say that?
Katie: 'Cuz he's a boy. They only think half-thoughts.
Bob: That shirt looks very nice on you.
Emily: You can't say that to her!
Bob: Why not? Gosh, I've been trying to work complements into my conversation and now you just ruined it! Katie, you're dirt ugly. Now you can just be mad at me; you can't have me arrested.
Brett: Hank. Don't eat electicity.
"It's very rare when you're following Jesus that you know exactly what you're doing and where you are going." - Jonathan Martin
Uncle Jack: Assuming this is a right angle...
Laura: Then you have three right angles. You can't have three right angles in a pentagon!
David: What if there was a food that makes you break bones? Like "I can't eat burgers 'cuz they make me break bones."
[Neal was cleaning up water on the floor]
Amber: Ethan got so excited about his cookie that he spilled his water.
Katie: Sorry, Neal, I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time.
Neal: At least it's clear.
Katie: I drank lots of water today.
Neal: Isn't that just inappropriate, Ethan, for a woman to be talking like that?
[Ethan was grinning like he wasn't sure what to do]
Rebekah: You smell like leather-flavored crayon.
Wife: How can you explain all of these awful things happening?
Husband: Easy. This is earth.
Katie: Since Christmas I've gotten a new camera, a new job, a new phone, a new-to-me computer, and a new house. Now I just need a new car.
Mom: Your brain is going to be mush. Next thing you know you're going to try to call with your camera, take pictures with your car, and scrapbook with your phone.
Katie: There's an app for that.
Brandon: I've told this story a lot of times but a lot of you haven't heard it because you haven't heard me tell it.
Dad: Oooowee!
Katie: You ok?
Dad: Yeah. That hurt! Somebody parked the vaccuum cleander in my coat.
Michael: When in doubt, pull out your actual Bible. If your cell phone doesn't know about Jesus, your actual Bible will. You never can tell about cell phones. I don't know if they're believers.
Beth: Sometimes I just breathe.
David: We all want to see your relationship succeed or fail, whichever is better.
Stephen: I hope you have many Lord of the Rings babies, and they don't look like gollum.
Katie: Brett! You heathen non-recycling Canadian!
Artemis: Daddy? When we go to Disney, Mommy said we could go for two whole days!
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: When we are 10 or 11 years old.
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: Where are we going to sleep? I mean, we could bring our sleeping bags and camp out in the back of your car.
Daddy: Or we could stay in a hotel.
Artemis: They have those there?!
Rebekah: Yeah, blinds take awhile to master.
Katie: Yeah, I don't have my master's in blinds yet.
Rebekah: I'm working on mine.
"If you write for God, you will reach many men and bring them joy. If you write for men, you may make some money and may give someone a little joy and you may make some noise in the world, for a little while. If you write for yourself, you can read what you yourself have written and after ten minutes you will be so disguisted that you wish that you were dead." - Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Taft: Wikipedia is blocked by HPPA.
Brett: I miss having hair. I used to have headaches when I had hair. Actually, I didn't. I never got headaches when I had hair but now I don't have hair and get headaches all of the time.
[Via text message]
Katie: We should catch up one of these days.
Kevin: We should catch up. Who is this?
Michael: This tastes like cocoa butter.
Stephen: Cocoa butter? That's for stretch marks!
Aunt Jett: Don't squeeze the cat. She might explode or something.
"Christianity can grow and flourish under some of the most difficult opposition, but it will prosper very little when people refuse to be changed by it." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 130
Lauren: I'm so not ready for a big girl job. I still get excited about foamy soap.
Mom: The wind must be coming from the west. The train sounds like a dead cow.
Christina: A dead cow, Mom? You realize that dead cows don't make any noises, right?
Mom: How many dead cows have you hung out with? They could make farting noises.
Brit: Decaf? Are you trying to stay awake? [Beat] Wait. I mean go to sleep?
Uncle Jack: [Hands in the air] I didn't do that! [Beat] Did I?
Mom: No, you didn't put the meese peep on the marinated rug.
Rebekah: You're such a good kitty when you're not being a bad kitty.
"If we're waiting for the needy to walk through our church doors, we may wait a long time. God doesn't wait for people to come to Him. He goes to them and desires to intervene right at the point of their need. He's looking for a few brave people, like the Apostle Paul, who are willing to go rather than wait for them to come. He's not looking for show-offs. He's looking for people through whom He can show off His Son. May we be some of those people." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 151
Danielle: You can't say "Indian style." It's offensive.
David: It's criss-cross apple sauce.
Casey: I'm allergic to applesauce. That offends me.
Aunt Jett [About her husband]: One of the best things about him is his ability to drive backwards.
Katie: Hank [the cat] let me pet him for a long time today! Like two pets.
Stephen: Why does everyone rub my head?
Rebekah: It's your spiritual gift.
Brett: Your head is my heroine.
Christina: Mom, does Dad's arm look swollen?
Mom: Yes, of course. He's been karate chopping live trees.
"God wants to be found. He does not will for any to miss Him, and His is so gracious to show up right where we are looking--so He can take us beyond anything we've ever seen." - Beth Moore, To Live isa Christ, 151
Allyson: The overnight forecast is snow. Either that or stars.
Stephen: I read your blog faithfully except for recently. What's Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: If you read my blog, how can you not know about Wacky Wednesday?
David: Wacky Wednesday is arguably the best day of the month!
Evan: Twitter makes me like people I don't know. Facebook does the opposite.
Dad: What's the plural of moose?
Aunt: Elk!
Taft [praying]: Lord, don't smit us.
Rebekah: Then why doesn't he just say that?
Katie: 'Cuz he's a boy. They only think half-thoughts.
Bob: That shirt looks very nice on you.
Emily: You can't say that to her!
Bob: Why not? Gosh, I've been trying to work complements into my conversation and now you just ruined it! Katie, you're dirt ugly. Now you can just be mad at me; you can't have me arrested.
Brett: Hank. Don't eat electicity.
"It's very rare when you're following Jesus that you know exactly what you're doing and where you are going." - Jonathan Martin
Uncle Jack: Assuming this is a right angle...
Laura: Then you have three right angles. You can't have three right angles in a pentagon!
David: What if there was a food that makes you break bones? Like "I can't eat burgers 'cuz they make me break bones."
[Neal was cleaning up water on the floor]
Amber: Ethan got so excited about his cookie that he spilled his water.
Katie: Sorry, Neal, I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time.
Neal: At least it's clear.
Katie: I drank lots of water today.
Neal: Isn't that just inappropriate, Ethan, for a woman to be talking like that?
[Ethan was grinning like he wasn't sure what to do]
Rebekah: You smell like leather-flavored crayon.
Wife: How can you explain all of these awful things happening?
Husband: Easy. This is earth.
Katie: Since Christmas I've gotten a new camera, a new job, a new phone, a new-to-me computer, and a new house. Now I just need a new car.
Mom: Your brain is going to be mush. Next thing you know you're going to try to call with your camera, take pictures with your car, and scrapbook with your phone.
Katie: There's an app for that.
Brandon: I've told this story a lot of times but a lot of you haven't heard it because you haven't heard me tell it.
Dad: Oooowee!
Katie: You ok?
Dad: Yeah. That hurt! Somebody parked the vaccuum cleander in my coat.
Michael: When in doubt, pull out your actual Bible. If your cell phone doesn't know about Jesus, your actual Bible will. You never can tell about cell phones. I don't know if they're believers.
Beth: Sometimes I just breathe.
David: We all want to see your relationship succeed or fail, whichever is better.
Stephen: I hope you have many Lord of the Rings babies, and they don't look like gollum.
Katie: Brett! You heathen non-recycling Canadian!
Artemis: Daddy? When we go to Disney, Mommy said we could go for two whole days!
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: When we are 10 or 11 years old.
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: Where are we going to sleep? I mean, we could bring our sleeping bags and camp out in the back of your car.
Daddy: Or we could stay in a hotel.
Artemis: They have those there?!
Rebekah: Yeah, blinds take awhile to master.
Katie: Yeah, I don't have my master's in blinds yet.
Rebekah: I'm working on mine.
"If you write for God, you will reach many men and bring them joy. If you write for men, you may make some money and may give someone a little joy and you may make some noise in the world, for a little while. If you write for yourself, you can read what you yourself have written and after ten minutes you will be so disguisted that you wish that you were dead." - Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: The following is a collection of ridiculous or profound statements and conversations heard throughout the month of December. <>< Katie
[In bed not wanting to get up on a Sunday morning]
Jennifer: Why can't we just have church here?
Katie: Those are called televangelists.
Amy: Or Katie could preach. My Bible's over there.
Katie: Oh, good. I need that.
Amy: Jennifer can be the pulpit.
Katie: Who's going to serve communion?
Amy: We're Baptist. We don't do that every day.
Mrs L: There's the cookie sheet I've been looking for! The flat one.
Mom: Awe, man! My new vacuum is parts as parts! With screws and everything! I just want to plug and play! I don't have time to put together a vacuum cleaner; I have to vacuum! The humanity!
Katie: What is that noise and how do we make it stop?
Mom: It's me washing the windows.
Katie: Oh. It sounds like Tina's farting ringtone.
Katie: This is your job for next week.
Uncle Jack: Put that vacuum together? That I can do. Is there more than one piece?
Katie: No.
Uncle Jack: Well, then we're pretty much done. What's the next project?
Katie: Fix the dishwasher. That's tomorrow's job. It can't wait until next week.
Uncle Boris: For senior photos I got: "Your head looks like a mushroom" or "your head looks like a plantain."
Amy: How do you only lose one boot?
Jo: I just kicked it off and I don't know. How do you need stitches once a week?
Amy: What?
Jo: I'm not kidding. Every Saturday I needed stitches. It was usually stupid stuff too like getting excited when the grandparents came over and tripping up the cement stairs.
Katie: Look! It's a bracelet I can wear as a belt and it's ok!
Dustin: Katie, what's one word that describes you?
Phil: Jobless.
Jennifer: Your volcanic pretzels look like an anteater nose.
Mom: Now you told Laura that she has big feet and Christina that she weighs more than the dog. You need to go to bed. Go to your room!
Uncle Jack: Oh, do you need a complement, too? You look very nice up there dusting.
Alex: No more squeaking in the car.
Caroline: (something about) Britney Spears.
Katie: Does she have hair again?
David: I thought she was dead. I thought she D.O.ed. I mead ODed.
Laura: Girl, I have a knife and an onion in my hand. Don't mess with me!]
Jennifer: Katie, if you were on a desert island with email and a book, you'd be just fine.
Katie: Yeah, I'd just Tweet for someone to come rescue me.
Jennifer: You wouldn't have Twitter. Well, I guess you could just email someone.
Jo: How do you poop in your shoe when you lay on your back?
Amy: He's two months old. Who knows!
Mom: Look at those white caps!
Katie: Those aren't white caps; they're mud puddles.
Jennifer: So we put these there.
Katie: But these already have those.
Jennifer: "These already have those?" Katie, I wish you would write down your own quotes.
Katie: Sometimes I do.
Alex: Wal-mart is like a time-warp. You walk in and boom you've been there for an hour.
Katie: We have a tendency to be late to Peder Eide concerts.
Mom: No, you have a tendency to be late.
Katie: No, last time I was two hours early! But I might have been responsible for making the entire concert late.
Uncle: All of the sudden you get a gray eyebrow, and it's like, "I'm here, and I'm looking around! I can drive the car all by myself, thank you. Where's my beer?!"
Amy: By the time I get to church I'm tired.
Katie: Amy doesn't love Jesus!
Amy: No. [Beat] Wait. [Beat] What did you say?
Laura: Do we have any Dixie cups?
Mom: Yes, they're in the slow cooker.
Christina: Laura, I really like those pants. They make your legs look two inches deep.
Uncle Boris: If you give a moose a muffin.
Mom: If you give a pig a pancake.
Katie: If you give a squirrel a shrimp.
Uncle Boris: If you give a cow a cornflake.
Mom: If you give a mouse a cookie.
Uncle Boris: No, it has to start with the same number.
Grandma: The [Christmas] tree was giving me the finger in reverse.
Katie: I have "Live Like Christmas" stuck in my head.
Laura: Good! 'Cuz IT'S CHRISTMAS!
Tabitha: Sorry. My stomach makes weird noises after I eat.
Rebekah: It's called digestion.
Alex: You just stabbed yourself with my fingernail.
Laura: I have to go pick up twenty things in my room because that's how old I am.
Mom: Or you could pick up for twenty minutes.
Laura: No!
Jamie: My goal this weekend is to make it in Katie's quote book.
Mom: Oh, there's a random plate in the fridge.
Katie: Better than a fork in the den.
Friend: Did I just walk into an alternate dimension?
Christina: Welcome to the Axelsons'!
Jamie: Ok, she never needs to wear her hair like that again. She looks like the girl from Star Wars--Glena.
Mom: If I'm going to get anything done today, I have to take off this sweater.
Katie: What?! If you want to be productive, you have to be naked?
Mom: No, no, no. That's now what I said. This sweater--
Laura: She already told me. That sweater you can't roll up the sleeves and the bottom's stretched out so it's BAAHUM PAAAAAH!
Katie: Is that a direct quote?
Mom: How do you spell that?
Chris: What will Andy say is your quirkiest feature?
Elizabeth: I repeat myself. I say the same thing.
"Rudolph is like the Bible--you can't take it out of context."
Uncle Jack: We didn't pray, you know.
Katie: I talked to Jesus already.
Uncle Jack: I find myself doing that a lot--especially with you guys around.
Jennifer: Save money. Buy pants.
Katie: Matthew, I really don't mind if you sing Christmas songs--even if your voice isn't cooperating. But we need Jesus Christmas songs. No Santa Christmas songs today.
Matthew: Well, if you paint Santa as a Christ-figure--
Katie: No.
Laura: Sometimes Miranda bites me.
Mom: Bite her back!
Laura: Zach did once, and she cried!
Katie: Jennifer, do I need my Bible?
Amy [serious]: No. We're only going to church.
Rhonda: Awe, man, I am tired! Claudia, it's going to have to be a fast bath.
Donovan: I am totally Tweeting that!
Rhonda, Claudia: No! We want jobs some day! Don't Tweet about us giving the cat a bath.
Mom: Katie's driving so that means she's ultimately the boss!
Katie: Does anyone know what the temperature is supposed to be today?
Amy: Check your email.
Jennifer: High of 51. So cold!
Mom: I have not successfully made burnt carrots yet!
Lauren: Do you spell your name as one word or two?
Maryrose: One with no capital "r."
Sarah: I don't think God cares.
Katie: What's for dinner?
Mom: I don't know yet. I don't know who's all going to be here. If it's just Dad and me, we're having steak. If everybody's here, we're having bologna.
Laura: If your socks and my socks had a baby, it would look like this scarf!
"God appoints people who disappoint to point to a God who never disappoints." - Ann Voskamp
[In bed not wanting to get up on a Sunday morning]
Jennifer: Why can't we just have church here?
Katie: Those are called televangelists.
Amy: Or Katie could preach. My Bible's over there.
Katie: Oh, good. I need that.
Amy: Jennifer can be the pulpit.
Katie: Who's going to serve communion?
Amy: We're Baptist. We don't do that every day.
Mrs L: There's the cookie sheet I've been looking for! The flat one.
Mom: Awe, man! My new vacuum is parts as parts! With screws and everything! I just want to plug and play! I don't have time to put together a vacuum cleaner; I have to vacuum! The humanity!
Katie: What is that noise and how do we make it stop?
Mom: It's me washing the windows.
Katie: Oh. It sounds like Tina's farting ringtone.
Katie: This is your job for next week.
Uncle Jack: Put that vacuum together? That I can do. Is there more than one piece?
Katie: No.
Uncle Jack: Well, then we're pretty much done. What's the next project?
Katie: Fix the dishwasher. That's tomorrow's job. It can't wait until next week.
Uncle Boris: For senior photos I got: "Your head looks like a mushroom" or "your head looks like a plantain."
Amy: How do you only lose one boot?
Jo: I just kicked it off and I don't know. How do you need stitches once a week?
Amy: What?
Jo: I'm not kidding. Every Saturday I needed stitches. It was usually stupid stuff too like getting excited when the grandparents came over and tripping up the cement stairs.
Katie: Look! It's a bracelet I can wear as a belt and it's ok!
Dustin: Katie, what's one word that describes you?
Phil: Jobless.
Jennifer: Your volcanic pretzels look like an anteater nose.
Mom: Now you told Laura that she has big feet and Christina that she weighs more than the dog. You need to go to bed. Go to your room!
Uncle Jack: Oh, do you need a complement, too? You look very nice up there dusting.
Alex: No more squeaking in the car.
Caroline: (something about) Britney Spears.
Katie: Does she have hair again?
David: I thought she was dead. I thought she D.O.ed. I mead ODed.
Laura: Girl, I have a knife and an onion in my hand. Don't mess with me!]
Jennifer: Katie, if you were on a desert island with email and a book, you'd be just fine.
Katie: Yeah, I'd just Tweet for someone to come rescue me.
Jennifer: You wouldn't have Twitter. Well, I guess you could just email someone.
Jo: How do you poop in your shoe when you lay on your back?
Amy: He's two months old. Who knows!
Mom: Look at those white caps!
Katie: Those aren't white caps; they're mud puddles.
Jennifer: So we put these there.
Katie: But these already have those.
Jennifer: "These already have those?" Katie, I wish you would write down your own quotes.
Katie: Sometimes I do.
Alex: Wal-mart is like a time-warp. You walk in and boom you've been there for an hour.
Katie: We have a tendency to be late to Peder Eide concerts.
Mom: No, you have a tendency to be late.
Katie: No, last time I was two hours early! But I might have been responsible for making the entire concert late.
Uncle: All of the sudden you get a gray eyebrow, and it's like, "I'm here, and I'm looking around! I can drive the car all by myself, thank you. Where's my beer?!"
Amy: By the time I get to church I'm tired.
Katie: Amy doesn't love Jesus!
Amy: No. [Beat] Wait. [Beat] What did you say?
Laura: Do we have any Dixie cups?
Mom: Yes, they're in the slow cooker.
Christina: Laura, I really like those pants. They make your legs look two inches deep.
Uncle Boris: If you give a moose a muffin.
Mom: If you give a pig a pancake.
Katie: If you give a squirrel a shrimp.
Uncle Boris: If you give a cow a cornflake.
Mom: If you give a mouse a cookie.
Uncle Boris: No, it has to start with the same number.
Grandma: The [Christmas] tree was giving me the finger in reverse.
Katie: I have "Live Like Christmas" stuck in my head.
Laura: Good! 'Cuz IT'S CHRISTMAS!
Tabitha: Sorry. My stomach makes weird noises after I eat.
Rebekah: It's called digestion.
Alex: You just stabbed yourself with my fingernail.
Laura: I have to go pick up twenty things in my room because that's how old I am.
Mom: Or you could pick up for twenty minutes.
Laura: No!
Jamie: My goal this weekend is to make it in Katie's quote book.
Mom: Oh, there's a random plate in the fridge.
Katie: Better than a fork in the den.
Friend: Did I just walk into an alternate dimension?
Christina: Welcome to the Axelsons'!
Jamie: Ok, she never needs to wear her hair like that again. She looks like the girl from Star Wars--Glena.
Mom: If I'm going to get anything done today, I have to take off this sweater.
Katie: What?! If you want to be productive, you have to be naked?
Mom: No, no, no. That's now what I said. This sweater--
Laura: She already told me. That sweater you can't roll up the sleeves and the bottom's stretched out so it's BAAHUM PAAAAAH!
Katie: Is that a direct quote?
Mom: How do you spell that?
Chris: What will Andy say is your quirkiest feature?
Elizabeth: I repeat myself. I say the same thing.
"Rudolph is like the Bible--you can't take it out of context."
Uncle Jack: We didn't pray, you know.
Katie: I talked to Jesus already.
Uncle Jack: I find myself doing that a lot--especially with you guys around.
Jennifer: Save money. Buy pants.
Katie: Matthew, I really don't mind if you sing Christmas songs--even if your voice isn't cooperating. But we need Jesus Christmas songs. No Santa Christmas songs today.
Matthew: Well, if you paint Santa as a Christ-figure--
Katie: No.
Laura: Sometimes Miranda bites me.
Mom: Bite her back!
Laura: Zach did once, and she cried!
Katie: Jennifer, do I need my Bible?
Amy [serious]: No. We're only going to church.
Rhonda: Awe, man, I am tired! Claudia, it's going to have to be a fast bath.
Donovan: I am totally Tweeting that!
Rhonda, Claudia: No! We want jobs some day! Don't Tweet about us giving the cat a bath.
Mom: Katie's driving so that means she's ultimately the boss!
Katie: Does anyone know what the temperature is supposed to be today?
Amy: Check your email.
Jennifer: High of 51. So cold!
Mom: I have not successfully made burnt carrots yet!
Lauren: Do you spell your name as one word or two?
Maryrose: One with no capital "r."
Sarah: I don't think God cares.
Katie: What's for dinner?
Mom: I don't know yet. I don't know who's all going to be here. If it's just Dad and me, we're having steak. If everybody's here, we're having bologna.
Laura: If your socks and my socks had a baby, it would look like this scarf!
"God appoints people who disappoint to point to a God who never disappoints." - Ann Voskamp
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: The following are quotations taken from real conversations heard, read, or encountered during the month of November. Enjoy!
<>< Katie
Scott: My wife told me we're going baby shopping this afternoon.
Bob: Didn't you already buy one of those?
Scott: Two. We bought two.
Bob: Make sure you save the receipt.
Dawn: Were they on sale?
Katie: Two for the price of one?
Bob: He's an extreme couponer!
Christina: Lady Gaga is a singer.
Dad: Lady Gaga is a nightmare.
Linnea: If my baby is born with a beard, we're switching it in the hospital!
Random Man to Son: You were crying in your apple juice. Do you know why you were crying in your apple juice? Because you don't like apple juice.
David: Book! [meaning Writer's Notebook where I keep Wacky Wednesday quotes]
Jocelyn: I like your boob! [She meant book]
David: Book!
Christina: What does the guy from "Sister Wives" put on facebook [for his relationship status]?
Katie: Shaun Groves just Tweeted, "Googling the lyrics to my own dadgum song."
Christina: Who's Lulu?
Katie: What?
Christina: Lulu liked his song? Who's Lulu?
Brent [To some giggly high school girls at a Peder Eide concert]: Go bug Peder. Seriously. It'll take some pressure off of Katie.
[Reading the monthly cell phone bill over dinner]
Dad: Someone spent three dollars downloading a video.
Mom: Wait a second, let me see that, that three dollars was the [Dad's number] guy.
Dad: Oops.
Katie: So what I'm hearing is that Laura's a minutes hog, Mom only texts Christina, Dad buys three dollar videos, and Katie wins with the least usage of everything.
Mom: Yeah, whatever.
Katie: Whatever? I haven't gotten a text message in three days.
Mom: That's because your inbox is full. You need a new phone.
"No matter what this world does, you're valuable. The Lord gives you help for the hurt and hope for the future." - Bob Lenz
[Taking a photo]
Katie: One, two, four.
Peder: Miss Katie, we need to work on your counting.
Katie: I was an English major.
[After I'd been on the phone for twenty minutes]
Grandma: I'm glad she took sign language in college!
[Putting my number in his phone]
Mark: L-A-U-R-A
Katie: Um... I spell my name with a K.
Mom: Here, wear this step stool!
Sparkle the cat: I just did. Why do I have to wear it again?
Laura: Katie! You'll be so proud of me! I played The Alphabet Game yesterday and WON! TWICE!
Katie: Was the other person driving?
Laura: There was no other person.
"Thank You that even in the wilderness You are Emmanuel--God with us." -Tracy
[On facebook]
Andy [to Elizabeth]: I love you!
Katie: I love you, too!
Andy: I think you misspelled two, Katie.
Katie: No, I only love you; not Elizabeth.
Andy: lol I completely saw that going the opposite direction! I love you too, Katie. And so does Elizabeth!
Katie: Success! I love you two and miss you, too!
Bob: Don't complain about being dress size one when I'm a sixteen!
Christina: How was Oscar's [the cat] surprise attack?
Mom: Well, the doctor cut off my wart today.
[Catch Phrase]
Linnea: The continent that--
Katie: Alaska!
Katie: With as little as I listen to the radio, when I know all the words to a song, it's overplayed.
[Laura burst out laughing]
Katie: Um... I didn't think what I said was that funny.
Laura: It wasn't! That... that bar we just... passed... had a... had a toilet... on the front porch!
Mark: I can walk and chew gum at the same time!
[via text]
Katie: I am at the coffee shop actually being productive on a Saturday for once!
Amber: Good for you
Katie: It's because you're not here.
Amber: Haha
Katie: But I am lonely.
Amber: That's why you're actually getting work done.
Jocelyn: They danced funnily.
Katie: Look at how these pants sit on me. If I didn't have my hips right here, they'd just fall right off. If something happened to my hips, I'd never be able to wear pants again... without suspenders.
Greg: We're going to catch a deer then put it in the back of the van and take it to the vet to kill it humanely.
[Mark was walking out of church with three empty cups]
Katie: Were you a little thirsty?
Mark: Yeah. Dehydrated.
Katie: You're going to have to go to the little boys' room.
Mark: No, I already--
Katie: You already went? In church?!
Mark: No. I'm wearing a diaper. [Beat] And you sat next to me. Does that make you uncomfortable?
Mom: Lies!
Laura: I wouldn't lie to you! You're my momma!
Katie: All the more reason to lie to her!
[At small group]
Dustin: No talking about Jesus! It's not allowed.
Katie: I'm not going to be able to come anymore.
Dustin: Wait, what? Why can't you come anymore?!
Katie: Because we can't talk about Jesus.
Dustin: Oh, ok.
Mom: Come here. And don't get excited because I'm asking you to follow me upstairs.
[Dad's face fell]
Mom: The balance ball is NOT a horizontal surface!
Charlie: I have this friend. I don't know if he's alive. I've been checking the obituaries but I haven't found him, so I'm going to call him. I figure if he picks up, that's a good sign.
Lauren: It's the same storyline just with different characters.
David: Twilight?
Drew: No, those are the same characters.
Katie: This shirt kind of makes me look fat.
Mom: Good! Wear it every day!
Hygienist: Do you floss?
Katie: Yes. Not like I should but yes. Especially after I eat popcorn.
Hygienist: Ok, every day at 3:00 you have to eat popcorn.
Katie: That I can do!
"Praise, not perfection. He wants my praise not my perfection." - Ann Voskamp
<>< Katie
Scott: My wife told me we're going baby shopping this afternoon.
Bob: Didn't you already buy one of those?
Scott: Two. We bought two.
Bob: Make sure you save the receipt.
Dawn: Were they on sale?
Katie: Two for the price of one?
Bob: He's an extreme couponer!
Christina: Lady Gaga is a singer.
Dad: Lady Gaga is a nightmare.
Linnea: If my baby is born with a beard, we're switching it in the hospital!
Random Man to Son: You were crying in your apple juice. Do you know why you were crying in your apple juice? Because you don't like apple juice.
David: Book! [meaning Writer's Notebook where I keep Wacky Wednesday quotes]
Jocelyn: I like your boob! [She meant book]
David: Book!
Christina: What does the guy from "Sister Wives" put on facebook [for his relationship status]?
Katie: Shaun Groves just Tweeted, "Googling the lyrics to my own dadgum song."
Christina: Who's Lulu?
Katie: What?
Christina: Lulu liked his song? Who's Lulu?
Brent [To some giggly high school girls at a Peder Eide concert]: Go bug Peder. Seriously. It'll take some pressure off of Katie.
[Reading the monthly cell phone bill over dinner]
Dad: Someone spent three dollars downloading a video.
Mom: Wait a second, let me see that, that three dollars was the [Dad's number] guy.
Dad: Oops.
Katie: So what I'm hearing is that Laura's a minutes hog, Mom only texts Christina, Dad buys three dollar videos, and Katie wins with the least usage of everything.
Mom: Yeah, whatever.
Katie: Whatever? I haven't gotten a text message in three days.
Mom: That's because your inbox is full. You need a new phone.
"No matter what this world does, you're valuable. The Lord gives you help for the hurt and hope for the future." - Bob Lenz
[Taking a photo]
Katie: One, two, four.
Peder: Miss Katie, we need to work on your counting.
Katie: I was an English major.
[After I'd been on the phone for twenty minutes]
Grandma: I'm glad she took sign language in college!
[Putting my number in his phone]
Mark: L-A-U-R-A
Katie: Um... I spell my name with a K.
Mom: Here, wear this step stool!
Sparkle the cat: I just did. Why do I have to wear it again?
Laura: Katie! You'll be so proud of me! I played The Alphabet Game yesterday and WON! TWICE!
Katie: Was the other person driving?
Laura: There was no other person.
"Thank You that even in the wilderness You are Emmanuel--God with us." -Tracy
[On facebook]
Andy [to Elizabeth]: I love you!
Katie: I love you, too!
Andy: I think you misspelled two, Katie.
Katie: No, I only love you; not Elizabeth.
Andy: lol I completely saw that going the opposite direction! I love you too, Katie. And so does Elizabeth!
Katie: Success! I love you two and miss you, too!
Bob: Don't complain about being dress size one when I'm a sixteen!
Christina: How was Oscar's [the cat] surprise attack?
Mom: Well, the doctor cut off my wart today.
[Catch Phrase]
Linnea: The continent that--
Katie: Alaska!
Katie: With as little as I listen to the radio, when I know all the words to a song, it's overplayed.
[Laura burst out laughing]
Katie: Um... I didn't think what I said was that funny.
Laura: It wasn't! That... that bar we just... passed... had a... had a toilet... on the front porch!
Mark: I can walk and chew gum at the same time!
[via text]
Katie: I am at the coffee shop actually being productive on a Saturday for once!
Amber: Good for you
Katie: It's because you're not here.
Amber: Haha
Katie: But I am lonely.
Amber: That's why you're actually getting work done.
Jocelyn: They danced funnily.
Katie: Look at how these pants sit on me. If I didn't have my hips right here, they'd just fall right off. If something happened to my hips, I'd never be able to wear pants again... without suspenders.
Greg: We're going to catch a deer then put it in the back of the van and take it to the vet to kill it humanely.
[Mark was walking out of church with three empty cups]
Katie: Were you a little thirsty?
Mark: Yeah. Dehydrated.
Katie: You're going to have to go to the little boys' room.
Mark: No, I already--
Katie: You already went? In church?!
Mark: No. I'm wearing a diaper. [Beat] And you sat next to me. Does that make you uncomfortable?
Mom: Lies!
Laura: I wouldn't lie to you! You're my momma!
Katie: All the more reason to lie to her!
[At small group]
Dustin: No talking about Jesus! It's not allowed.
Katie: I'm not going to be able to come anymore.
Dustin: Wait, what? Why can't you come anymore?!
Katie: Because we can't talk about Jesus.
Dustin: Oh, ok.
Mom: Come here. And don't get excited because I'm asking you to follow me upstairs.
[Dad's face fell]
Mom: The balance ball is NOT a horizontal surface!
Charlie: I have this friend. I don't know if he's alive. I've been checking the obituaries but I haven't found him, so I'm going to call him. I figure if he picks up, that's a good sign.
Lauren: It's the same storyline just with different characters.
David: Twilight?
Drew: No, those are the same characters.
Katie: This shirt kind of makes me look fat.
Mom: Good! Wear it every day!
Hygienist: Do you floss?
Katie: Yes. Not like I should but yes. Especially after I eat popcorn.
Hygienist: Ok, every day at 3:00 you have to eat popcorn.
Katie: That I can do!
"Praise, not perfection. He wants my praise not my perfection." - Ann Voskamp
Friday, October 14, 2011
One
My sisters and I sat in the front pew. In between us were our parents and a few adult friends from church. I looked down the pew to notice all three of us held up one finger.
No, not that finger.
It was our pointer fingers. I promise. It almost looked like we were singing "This Little Light of Mine."
Except we weren't. We were singing, "Back In His Arms Again."
One life.
One love.
One way home.
Mark Schultz was fifteen feet in front of us. He looked towards us, saw our "Ones" and shook his head. He made us stand up as he announced to the audience that we had been to fifteen of his concerts. Fifteen. No embellishing.
We know every word, every motion, every story. Yet still we sit in the front row every time we can.
One life.
One love.
One way home.
Once we began to sing that refrain too early in the song. He just chuckled.
Tonight I as drove home from a wonderful dinner, "Back in His Arms Again" came on the local Christian radio station. I subconsciously put up ONE to declare that He is the one, the only.
The One I want to run to.
The One who unites us around the world as brothers and sisters.
The One who knows which of my cold phone calls will lead to a job interview.
The One who is walking with me, walking with you through every step.
The One whose arms I want to fall into.
I believe it. And I trust it.
<>< Katie
No, not that finger.
It was our pointer fingers. I promise. It almost looked like we were singing "This Little Light of Mine."
Except we weren't. We were singing, "Back In His Arms Again."
One life.
One love.
One way home.
Mark Schultz was fifteen feet in front of us. He looked towards us, saw our "Ones" and shook his head. He made us stand up as he announced to the audience that we had been to fifteen of his concerts. Fifteen. No embellishing.
We know every word, every motion, every story. Yet still we sit in the front row every time we can.
One life.
One love.
One way home.
Once we began to sing that refrain too early in the song. He just chuckled.
Tonight I as drove home from a wonderful dinner, "Back in His Arms Again" came on the local Christian radio station. I subconsciously put up ONE to declare that He is the one, the only.
The One I want to run to.
The One who unites us around the world as brothers and sisters.
The One who knows which of my cold phone calls will lead to a job interview.
The One who is walking with me, walking with you through every step.
The One whose arms I want to fall into.
"Back in His Arms Again" by Mark Schultz
I see it in your eyes
the pain you keep inside
is slowly tearing you apart.
Through you've run away
reminded day by day
you've stumbled and you've fallen.
Still He's calling
I believe that He loves you where you are.
I believe that you've seen the hands of God.
I believe that you'll know it when
you're back in His arms again.
I believe that He never let you go.
I believe that He's wanting you to know
I believe that He'll lead you 'til
you're back in his arms again.
I'm glad I found you here
'Cause in between the tears
something in your eyes shows hope.
When I stand before you now
as one that knows the power
of coming to Him open and broken
I believe that the loves you where you are
I believe that you've seen the hands of God
I believe that you'll know it when
you're back in His arms again.
I believe that He never let you go
I believe that He's wanted you to know
I believe that He'll lead you 'til
you're back in His arms again
And I know that He's calling,
He's calling you home.
One life.
One love.
One way home.
and when you rise
and when you fall
He will see you through it
He will see you through it
He is waiting in the dark
back in His arms again
One life.
One love.
One way home.
I believe it. And I trust it.
<>< Katie
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Ken Davis: People don't jump out of the boat at the first speed bump. Boats don't have speed bumps. Let me think that through.
[While trimming trees]
Mom: No, no, no. Leave that one.
Dad: Ok. We'll get it next year.
Mom: Those are cute pants.
Katie: Thanks. I found them in the bottom of my closet and by that I mean on the top shelf. I don't know where they came from.
Mom: You probably wore them in middle school.
Christina: KATIE! Toga expert! I need to borrow your skills [because] it's Salad Dressing Day tomorrow for Homecoming.
Dustin: Jews knew the Old Testament scriptures the way we know songs, so finding OT references in the New Testament not only reminded them of that particular passage but also the context of surrounding passages.
Katie: Jews waited for the Messiah with great anticipation and excitement. It was like waiting for Christmas that wasn't coming... literally!
[playing Harry Potter Wii]
Katie: Look! I'm riding the broom!
Boy, age 10: It looks more like you're riding a bull.
Grandpa: Stinkin' winter lasts all winter!
"Creativity is being comfortable with not knowing what comes next." - Ann Voskamp
Christina: Taylor's sleeping over, too!
Katie: She's sleeping over TOO? That means someone is sleeping over one! AH!
Christina: Michael's bringing Bridesmaids [to my campfire party] just in case the weather is bad.
Katie [Sarcastic]: Sometimes I drive around with two tennis hoppers in my trunk. [Serious] Actually, right now I am driving around with two Haitian drums in my trunk.
Mom: As long as it's not two Haitian drunks in your trunk.
Ezelis: I'm not okay with living in a way this world calls "normal." I am called to be different so people can see how God is real.
Katie: You think I made it up?
Grandma: You coulda; you're a writer. Nah, you wouldn't a thought of that!
Mom: Look! Four-hundred and ninety miles until empty! We can get halfway to--
Katie: Church.
Matthew: She's a transplant.
Katie: Yeah, I moved to Baptist Country but they spit me out.
Dawn: Why'd we take her back?
Katie: Do you pray before you go to bed?
Pastor's Daughter, 8: Sometimes.
Katie: Sometimes?
Daughter: Yeah. Sometimes we forget.
[Playing Harry Potter Wii]
Boy, 10: Just walk around while I'm doing this level. Don't go down. And don't kill yourself by going off the edge... again.
Katie: I didn't mean to! Either time!
"When He says something to you, it will be your own language, significant in a personal and specific way. It will be exactly what you need to hear. All you have to do is listen." - Susan Hill
Katie: You're busier than I am, so give me a call when you're free; I'm probably free too. And if I'm not, I will be free in the next half hour.
Mom: What are you going to do today?
Katie: Sit around and wish I was in Baptist Country.
Mom: That's what you did yesterday!
Automatic voice message: --will expire shortly. Consider this your last notification. To be removed from future notifications, press three.
Mom: No sleeping in the cabin sheets.
Katie: Ok and no eating in the dining room either.
Mom: No four-legged fish sleeping in the cabin sheets.
Mom: These subs are huge! No one can eat all that! Ok, Katie can, but no one else!
Charmaine: With God you gotta always keep a suitcase packed because you never know where He's going to take you!
"It's the art of seeing that makes gratitude possible, and it's the art of gratitude that makes joy possible, and isn't joy the art of God?" - Ann Voskamp
Sorry it's late. It was typed on an iPad magnetic keyboard from a house with no furniture smack dab in the middle of nowhere. I'll fix any grave errors when I have access to a computer again. I hope all is well! <>< K
[While trimming trees]
Mom: No, no, no. Leave that one.
Dad: Ok. We'll get it next year.
Mom: Those are cute pants.
Katie: Thanks. I found them in the bottom of my closet and by that I mean on the top shelf. I don't know where they came from.
Mom: You probably wore them in middle school.
Christina: KATIE! Toga expert! I need to borrow your skills [because] it's Salad Dressing Day tomorrow for Homecoming.
Dustin: Jews knew the Old Testament scriptures the way we know songs, so finding OT references in the New Testament not only reminded them of that particular passage but also the context of surrounding passages.
Katie: Jews waited for the Messiah with great anticipation and excitement. It was like waiting for Christmas that wasn't coming... literally!
[playing Harry Potter Wii]
Katie: Look! I'm riding the broom!
Boy, age 10: It looks more like you're riding a bull.
Grandpa: Stinkin' winter lasts all winter!
"Creativity is being comfortable with not knowing what comes next." - Ann Voskamp
Christina: Taylor's sleeping over, too!
Katie: She's sleeping over TOO? That means someone is sleeping over one! AH!
Christina: Michael's bringing Bridesmaids [to my campfire party] just in case the weather is bad.
Katie [Sarcastic]: Sometimes I drive around with two tennis hoppers in my trunk. [Serious] Actually, right now I am driving around with two Haitian drums in my trunk.
Mom: As long as it's not two Haitian drunks in your trunk.
Ezelis: I'm not okay with living in a way this world calls "normal." I am called to be different so people can see how God is real.
Katie: You think I made it up?
Grandma: You coulda; you're a writer. Nah, you wouldn't a thought of that!
Mom: Look! Four-hundred and ninety miles until empty! We can get halfway to--
Katie: Church.
Matthew: She's a transplant.
Katie: Yeah, I moved to Baptist Country but they spit me out.
Dawn: Why'd we take her back?
Katie: Do you pray before you go to bed?
Pastor's Daughter, 8: Sometimes.
Katie: Sometimes?
Daughter: Yeah. Sometimes we forget.
[Playing Harry Potter Wii]
Boy, 10: Just walk around while I'm doing this level. Don't go down. And don't kill yourself by going off the edge... again.
Katie: I didn't mean to! Either time!
"When He says something to you, it will be your own language, significant in a personal and specific way. It will be exactly what you need to hear. All you have to do is listen." - Susan Hill
Katie: You're busier than I am, so give me a call when you're free; I'm probably free too. And if I'm not, I will be free in the next half hour.
Mom: What are you going to do today?
Katie: Sit around and wish I was in Baptist Country.
Mom: That's what you did yesterday!
Automatic voice message: --will expire shortly. Consider this your last notification. To be removed from future notifications, press three.
Mom: No sleeping in the cabin sheets.
Katie: Ok and no eating in the dining room either.
Mom: No four-legged fish sleeping in the cabin sheets.
Mom: These subs are huge! No one can eat all that! Ok, Katie can, but no one else!
Charmaine: With God you gotta always keep a suitcase packed because you never know where He's going to take you!
"It's the art of seeing that makes gratitude possible, and it's the art of gratitude that makes joy possible, and isn't joy the art of God?" - Ann Voskamp
Sorry it's late. It was typed on an iPad magnetic keyboard from a house with no furniture smack dab in the middle of nowhere. I'll fix any grave errors when I have access to a computer again. I hope all is well! <>< K
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: Welcome to Wacky Wednesday! This post is a complication of ridiculous and profound statements made in everyday conversation or literature. We all say stupid stuff. Some of us more than others. Laugh, smile, be challenged. <>< Katie
"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 33
Mom: If your right turn signal is on, your vehicle should not be veering to the left. Thought I'd bring that to your attention.
"In China, Christians are persecuted with beatings and imprisonment. In the West, Christians are persecuted by the words of other Christians." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 309
Amber: When are you due?
Bridget: Four months ago.
Amber: No, when is your baby coming?
Laura: It's a good thing I can't form sentences in my brain because otherwise I'd be a really mean person.
"God really is in the business of blessing His people in unusual ways so His goodness and His greatness will be declared among all peoples." - David Platt, Radical, 67
Kevin [20s]: I'm an old man. I have some gray hair.
Elizabeth: It's time to get a box.
[Awkward pause]
Elizabeth: Of hair dye.
Kevin: Don't lie, you meant a pine box!
"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is no there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis
Mom: You put the pregnant fish in the maternity ward and when the babies are born they're sucked up and shot into the fishy nursery.
Katie: As if being born isn't traumatic enough!
Jori [To me]: Oh, ye, writer person!
[1am]
Laura: Wait, you're not even in the bed anymore, you doofus!
"We learned a lesson that morning. When we arrive at the end of our own strength it is not defeat but the start of tapping into God's boundless resources. It is when we are weak that we are strong in God." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 194
Mom: Fat!
Katie [fake surprise, panic, excitement]: Where?!
Elizabeth: You know, Katie, I was the first person on University's campus to ever lick you. I take full credit for that.
"Joy is God and God is joy and joy doesn't negate all other emotions--joy transcends all other emotions." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 176
Mary Beth: You know how there's always that one annoying cousin?
Katie: I only have three cousins. My dad is that annoying cousin.
Laura: I love old people! This one time this old person did something and it made me laugh
Katie: Great story.
"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us." - James H. McConkey, Life Talks, 103 (qtd. Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138)
Waitress: What size to go box?
Melia: The little one works.
Waitress: That's what she said.
"But the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138
Professor: For Jesus?
Student: Yeah! We go everywhere for Jesus!
Professor: Alright!
"I hunger and thirst for filling in a world that is starved." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 17
Laura: Sometimes I know I'm saying stupid stuff, but I just keep saying it. It's funnier that way.
Juanita: Vernon! Don't lick my curtains!
Vernon: I wasn't licking them; I was biting them.
"Ultimately, I don't want to miss eternal treasure because I settle for earthly trinkets." - David Platt, Radical, 138
Katie: I don't really use the term "Best friend" because basically if you went to University with me, you're my best friend.
"Having God on our side doesn't mean sailing a boat with no storms; it means sailing a boat no storm can sink." - Unknown
Katie: No, you don't touch the scissors again until I give you further instructions.
Jori: My TA is getting cheeky.
Katie: I'm the brain!
Mom: My fish are eating the cats!
"Anger is the lid that suffocates joy until she lies limp and lifeless." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 177
Jori: If "biceps" were with an "s" it'd be "bis-eps.
Mike: Maybe that's what I have.
GPS: Recalculating.
Mom: Oh for heaven sakes! We're just going to McDonald's to pee; you don't have to recalculate!
"But what if we don't need to sit back and wait for a call to foreign missions? What if the very reason we have breath is because we have been saved for a global mission? And what if anything less than passionate involvement in global missions is actually selling God short by frustrating the very purpose for which He created us?" - David Platt, Radical, 75
Michael Tait: Everyone who loves the Lord, shake your bonbons!
Katie: You ok, Dad?
Dad: No. Mom sent half of the water from that faucet up my nose!
"He always enjoyed seeing the happiness that the travelers experienced when, after weeks of yellow sand and blue sky, they first saw the green of the date palms. Maybe God created the desert so that man could appreciate the date trees, he thought." - The Alchemist, 87
Christina: Katie, will you babysit for this kid to show him how nice I really am?
Mom: Good night, Mary Ellen.
Katie: Good night, Jim Bob.
Laura: Good night, Laura.
Mom: Why are you saying goodnight to yourself? That doesn't work!
Laura: Oh, good night, Suzy.
Mom: No, no, no.
Laura: What? I thought we were just saying good night to people who aren't here.
"Whether it is your family, the government, the religious establishment, or someone else, you will be hated." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Girl [age 14]: This is the first water balloon I've ever tied myself. I'm going to save it and put it in my scrapbook!
Jori: We could do that.
Katie: Ok, let's do it. Right here on your bed.
["It" was really make peanut brittle]
Katie: I don't want a Tetanus shot.
Christina: Wait! Are we talking doctor shot or alcohol shot?
Mom: I'm pretty sure there's no alcohol named "Tetanus."
Nurse: You've had so many shots they're blinding me!
"You're not doing the youth ministry until your youth are doing the ministry." - LCMS, Missouri District
Katie: It's a dove, not a kite. You can't tied a string to your dove.
Jori: Ok, I will not leave you.
Katie and Jori: Or forsake you!
"I learned we should never beat the sheep, but [we] must feed them if we want them to follow." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 174
Katie: He's on his way home. By "he" I mean Dad.
Mom: I figured Dad was the "he" since he's the only "he" who calls you.
[in China]
Jeremy: Pancakes are just like noodles except not noodles!
"Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be sin." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: I have a Peder CD we could listen to.
Laura: I'm petered out.
Katie: You aren't allowed in there.
Christina: Meh, rules are for sissies.
Katie: Yes, they are, and since you're my sissy you should get out.
"Prayer without ceasing is only possible in a life of continual thanks." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 60
Dad: I'm going to put on a different shirt.
[He wasn't wearing a shirt]
Emily: Sorry, I guess I just get distracted when my clothes come off.
"Again, we don't think like this: 'If we would all just become like Jesus, the wold would really love us,' he say. The reality is that if we really become like Jesus, the world will hate us. Why? Because the world hated Him." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Katie [Fingerspelled]: Adrenaline.
Amber [Voiced]: I saw koalas.
Katie [Signed]: No, adrenaline. You know, the drug.
Amber [Voiced]: The letter C? I got nothin'!
"I've got to get this thing; what it means to trust, to gut-believe in the good touch of God toward me because it's true: I can't fill with joy until I learn how to trust: 'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow' (Romans 15:13 NIV). The full life, the own spilling joy and peace, happens only as I come to trust the caress of the Lover, Lover who never burdens His children with shame or self-condemnation but keeps stroking the fears with gentle grace." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall?
Mom: No, forty-nine bottles of wine in the hall.
[Chinese people in China]
Sara: In America, this is a very good price.
Jim: In China, I get it for less.
Sara: Then maybe you should go back to China and buy it there.
"He [Jesus] was calling them [the disciples] to abandon their careers. They were reorienting their entire life's work around discipleship of Jesus. Their plans and dreams were now swallowed up in His." - David Platt, Radical, 7
Jori: It flew from my peach!
Katie: I'd rather shoot myself in the face.
Dad: You'd rather ship yourself to Spain?
"Everything in all creation responds in obedience to the Creator... until we get to you and me. We have the audacity to look God in the face and say, 'No.'" - David Platt, Radical, 31
[Over the phone]
Neal: While we were praying it started raining here. Just shows it rains on the righteous and the unrighteous. Me being the latter.
Katie: It's not raining here.
Neal: Does that mean you're in limbo?
Katie: I'm luke-warm, dang it!
Curt: I'm teaching [the topic] strangers, then if I have more time, I'll teach friends, then if I have more time, I'll teach Vernon.
Amber: Katie, your dad is ridiculious. He gets away with things that no other human being would ever get away with.
"In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him. In the process He powerfully demonstrates His ability to prove everything His people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined." - David Platt, Radical, 47
"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 33
Mom: If your right turn signal is on, your vehicle should not be veering to the left. Thought I'd bring that to your attention.
"In China, Christians are persecuted with beatings and imprisonment. In the West, Christians are persecuted by the words of other Christians." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 309
Amber: When are you due?
Bridget: Four months ago.
Amber: No, when is your baby coming?
Laura: It's a good thing I can't form sentences in my brain because otherwise I'd be a really mean person.
"God really is in the business of blessing His people in unusual ways so His goodness and His greatness will be declared among all peoples." - David Platt, Radical, 67
Kevin [20s]: I'm an old man. I have some gray hair.
Elizabeth: It's time to get a box.
[Awkward pause]
Elizabeth: Of hair dye.
Kevin: Don't lie, you meant a pine box!
"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is no there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis
Mom: You put the pregnant fish in the maternity ward and when the babies are born they're sucked up and shot into the fishy nursery.
Katie: As if being born isn't traumatic enough!
Jori [To me]: Oh, ye, writer person!
[1am]
Laura: Wait, you're not even in the bed anymore, you doofus!
"We learned a lesson that morning. When we arrive at the end of our own strength it is not defeat but the start of tapping into God's boundless resources. It is when we are weak that we are strong in God." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 194
Mom: Fat!
Katie [fake surprise, panic, excitement]: Where?!
Elizabeth: You know, Katie, I was the first person on University's campus to ever lick you. I take full credit for that.
"Joy is God and God is joy and joy doesn't negate all other emotions--joy transcends all other emotions." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 176
Mary Beth: You know how there's always that one annoying cousin?
Katie: I only have three cousins. My dad is that annoying cousin.
Laura: I love old people! This one time this old person did something and it made me laugh
Katie: Great story.
"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us." - James H. McConkey, Life Talks, 103 (qtd. Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138)
Waitress: What size to go box?
Melia: The little one works.
Waitress: That's what she said.
"But the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138
Professor: For Jesus?
Student: Yeah! We go everywhere for Jesus!
Professor: Alright!
"I hunger and thirst for filling in a world that is starved." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 17
Laura: Sometimes I know I'm saying stupid stuff, but I just keep saying it. It's funnier that way.
Juanita: Vernon! Don't lick my curtains!
Vernon: I wasn't licking them; I was biting them.
"Ultimately, I don't want to miss eternal treasure because I settle for earthly trinkets." - David Platt, Radical, 138
Katie: I don't really use the term "Best friend" because basically if you went to University with me, you're my best friend.
"Having God on our side doesn't mean sailing a boat with no storms; it means sailing a boat no storm can sink." - Unknown
Katie: No, you don't touch the scissors again until I give you further instructions.
Jori: My TA is getting cheeky.
Katie: I'm the brain!
Mom: My fish are eating the cats!
"Anger is the lid that suffocates joy until she lies limp and lifeless." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 177
Jori: If "biceps" were with an "s" it'd be "bis-eps.
Mike: Maybe that's what I have.
GPS: Recalculating.
Mom: Oh for heaven sakes! We're just going to McDonald's to pee; you don't have to recalculate!
"But what if we don't need to sit back and wait for a call to foreign missions? What if the very reason we have breath is because we have been saved for a global mission? And what if anything less than passionate involvement in global missions is actually selling God short by frustrating the very purpose for which He created us?" - David Platt, Radical, 75
Michael Tait: Everyone who loves the Lord, shake your bonbons!
Katie: You ok, Dad?
Dad: No. Mom sent half of the water from that faucet up my nose!
"He always enjoyed seeing the happiness that the travelers experienced when, after weeks of yellow sand and blue sky, they first saw the green of the date palms. Maybe God created the desert so that man could appreciate the date trees, he thought." - The Alchemist, 87
Christina: Katie, will you babysit for this kid to show him how nice I really am?
Mom: Good night, Mary Ellen.
Katie: Good night, Jim Bob.
Laura: Good night, Laura.
Mom: Why are you saying goodnight to yourself? That doesn't work!
Laura: Oh, good night, Suzy.
Mom: No, no, no.
Laura: What? I thought we were just saying good night to people who aren't here.
"Whether it is your family, the government, the religious establishment, or someone else, you will be hated." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Girl [age 14]: This is the first water balloon I've ever tied myself. I'm going to save it and put it in my scrapbook!
Jori: We could do that.
Katie: Ok, let's do it. Right here on your bed.
["It" was really make peanut brittle]
Katie: I don't want a Tetanus shot.
Christina: Wait! Are we talking doctor shot or alcohol shot?
Mom: I'm pretty sure there's no alcohol named "Tetanus."
Nurse: You've had so many shots they're blinding me!
"You're not doing the youth ministry until your youth are doing the ministry." - LCMS, Missouri District
Katie: It's a dove, not a kite. You can't tied a string to your dove.
Jori: Ok, I will not leave you.
Katie and Jori: Or forsake you!
"I learned we should never beat the sheep, but [we] must feed them if we want them to follow." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 174
Katie: He's on his way home. By "he" I mean Dad.
Mom: I figured Dad was the "he" since he's the only "he" who calls you.
[in China]
Jeremy: Pancakes are just like noodles except not noodles!
"Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be sin." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: I have a Peder CD we could listen to.
Laura: I'm petered out.
Katie: You aren't allowed in there.
Christina: Meh, rules are for sissies.
Katie: Yes, they are, and since you're my sissy you should get out.
"Prayer without ceasing is only possible in a life of continual thanks." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 60
Dad: I'm going to put on a different shirt.
[He wasn't wearing a shirt]
Emily: Sorry, I guess I just get distracted when my clothes come off.
"Again, we don't think like this: 'If we would all just become like Jesus, the wold would really love us,' he say. The reality is that if we really become like Jesus, the world will hate us. Why? Because the world hated Him." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Katie [Fingerspelled]: Adrenaline.
Amber [Voiced]: I saw koalas.
Katie [Signed]: No, adrenaline. You know, the drug.
Amber [Voiced]: The letter C? I got nothin'!
"I've got to get this thing; what it means to trust, to gut-believe in the good touch of God toward me because it's true: I can't fill with joy until I learn how to trust: 'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow' (Romans 15:13 NIV). The full life, the own spilling joy and peace, happens only as I come to trust the caress of the Lover, Lover who never burdens His children with shame or self-condemnation but keeps stroking the fears with gentle grace." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall?
Mom: No, forty-nine bottles of wine in the hall.
[Chinese people in China]
Sara: In America, this is a very good price.
Jim: In China, I get it for less.
Sara: Then maybe you should go back to China and buy it there.
"He [Jesus] was calling them [the disciples] to abandon their careers. They were reorienting their entire life's work around discipleship of Jesus. Their plans and dreams were now swallowed up in His." - David Platt, Radical, 7
Jori: It flew from my peach!
Katie: I'd rather shoot myself in the face.
Dad: You'd rather ship yourself to Spain?
"Everything in all creation responds in obedience to the Creator... until we get to you and me. We have the audacity to look God in the face and say, 'No.'" - David Platt, Radical, 31
[Over the phone]
Neal: While we were praying it started raining here. Just shows it rains on the righteous and the unrighteous. Me being the latter.
Katie: It's not raining here.
Neal: Does that mean you're in limbo?
Katie: I'm luke-warm, dang it!
Curt: I'm teaching [the topic] strangers, then if I have more time, I'll teach friends, then if I have more time, I'll teach Vernon.
Amber: Katie, your dad is ridiculious. He gets away with things that no other human being would ever get away with.
"In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him. In the process He powerfully demonstrates His ability to prove everything His people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined." - David Platt, Radical, 47
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
The following of a collection of profound or ridiculous things heard in normal conversation (unless otherwise marked). <>< Katie
Katie: Don't lick her foot.
Laura [The her]: I feel breath on my toes!
"God is not someone who can be tacked on in our lives." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 96
Mom: What's your plan for tomorrow?
Katie [Sarcastically]: Let me check my calendar. Oh, look: it's blank.
Mom: Does that mean you have nothing going on tomorrow?
Katie: That's what a blank calendar means.
Mom: Not Dad's!
"That night I learned that God sees no barriers, even when I do. God is ready to use me. And when I focus on God instead of my mountain, He channels through me His grace and His power." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 81
Andy: Can I get a to-go box?
Elizabeth: Can I get a to-go cup?
Allyson: Can I get a to-go fork?
Laura: I feel old: I get to sign for mail.
Katie: Oh! It's probably my passport and China Visa.
Christina: It says refrigerate after opening.
Katie: It's probably not my passport.
Katie: I blogged.
Mom: How can you blog? It's Sunday.
Katie: I can blog whatever day I want!
"To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer." - Martin Luther
"Adoration is foreign to most people, and you will probably feel clumsy when you first try it. As with anything you take up--a new sport, a new computer program, a new job--you have to stretch yourself and work at it to do well." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 67
Katie: Ultimate flour sock.
Laura: What's that? You shove a sock in your flower? Wait.
Dad: Have you... gone potty?
Adam: Can I get a fourth of a cup of lemonade? Do you know what that means? If I have a 400-page book, I want 100 pages read.
Katie: Oh, I got it! By why wouldn't you want to read the other 300 pages?
Adam: I'm saving them for later.
Katie: What is this all about? I haven't been to church yet.
Pastor Russ: You haven't been to church yet?! Didn't you used to go to like three services? If you commit to praying for the high school ministry once a week, you get to paint a tile.
Katie: I have to pray? Once a week?!
Bob: You used to be like [high-pitched voice] "Yeah! I love to pray!"
Mom: We have a giant rabbit in our car. No, parking lot. No. We have a giant rabbit in our yard.
Katie: What was the ridiculous thing you said earlier that I didn't write now?
Mom: Nothing! Everything I say is incredibly intelligent!
Evan: Are you ready to walk and not faint?
Katie: Yeah, and run and not get weary, too!
Allyson: I'm glad you got that because I definitely didn't.
[See Isaiah 43:30-31]
Katie: In Chinese the days of the week are a number and then the word 'day.' Like Monday is one-day.
Mom: So Tuesday is Two-day? [Laughing]
Katie: Yes, today is Two-day Tuesday.
Katie: What time is it?
Elizabeth: It's 11:99.
"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 104
David: You never know with Rebekah. You turn around and she's throwing your five year old dreams out the window!
Katie: What did you lose in my computer?
Mom: I lost nothing; I found my jammies in your computer!
[Facebook conversation]
Katie: Was I the only one who wanted to stand up and dance during "Our God" at church this morning?
April: Why didn't you? I do. Maybe even sign a little!
Katie: When we were finally invited to sing I did clap my hands and move a little... but only a little. It is Lutheran church.
Brit: Katie, you heard this morning: we're liberal in practice but conservative in doctrine. I believe hand-clapping falls under practice.
Katie: What about dancing? Is that law or gospel?
"God is a worker who completes His works. Where is there an instance of God's beginning any work and leaving it incomplete? Show me once a world abandoned and thrown aside half-formed; show me a universe cast off from the Great Potter's wheel, with the design in outline, the clay half-hardened, and the form unshapely from incompleteness." - Charles Spurgeon
[Driving through a storm behind an airplane on a truck bed.]
Andy: That's why they're driving. If they were flying I wonder if the plane would drag the truck behind it, too.
Dad: I didn't understand why you were yelling at the dog.
Katie: I wasn't yelling at the dog. I was yelling at you.
Dad: Same thing.
Katie: Laura has a monopoly on all of the friends. [Beat] Laura, what are you doing? You're weird. [Beat] How do you have all of the friends?
Mom: She's less weird than you are!
[Telephone Pictionary]
Girl, age 14: Is "sexy" a bad word? I'll just use bodacious. How do you spell bodacious?
[The sentence] A bodacious angel wearing tight pants.
Katie: I'm trying not to sound like a dork in this email to Dr. T, and it's not working.
Elizabeth: Katie, it's Dr. T; he already knows you're a dork.
[Dad misbooked
Dad: Well, this is the dumbest, most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
Christina: No, it's not. Remember that time you double-booked Katie on the airplane so she had to sit next to herself?
Katie: Or the time you knocked over the full luggage cart in the parking lot?
"You cannot be everything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be." - Max Lucado
Katie: What's your favorite ice cream?
Boy, age 4: Tomato.
Katie: Tomato? I've never had tomato ice cream.
Boy: NOOO! Cookie dough!
[Bananagrams]
Mom: I wish I had a W to make dwarf. No, I wish I had a D; I have four Ws.
Katie: VBS does a great job of reminding me that I love children but I made the right choice not to go into education.
Laura: Oh. I'm the opposite.
Katie: You hate children and you're glad you're going into education?
Jackie, age 14: We need to all save up our money to buy a house and that way when you all die it can be mine.
Grandpa: What was that noise?
Katie: My fault. I pushed against the table to push my chair back, but apparently I'm heavier than the table.
Mom: First time in her life!
Christina: For my CNA stuff it says I have to be able to lift 50 pounds. How much is 50 pounds? Daddy, come here!
Dad: I weigh more than 50 pounds!
Christina: Ok, Katie, come here!
Katie: I weigh more than 50 pounds, too!
Christina: Fifty-two is close enough.
Mom: Katie! Dad's new scale is busted! It told me I weigh 300 pounds!
Katie: Let me try it. How does it work?
Mom: It doesn't.
Katie: It told me I weigh zero pounds.
Mom: You can have some of mine.
"[B]eing on a God-guided adventure truly is living life on another level than merely competing for wealth and achievement and prizes and toys of this work." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 173
Christian: But I believe in the Trinity!
Melissa: And Pastor Russ doesn't?
Uncle Jay: I'm the alien bringing the hay!
Auntie Gwennie: Are you practicing your Cantonese or your Mandarin?
Katie: My Mandarin.
Auntie Gwennie: Bok choy!
Mom: No, that's a vegetable.
Christina: Look! The moon!
Katie: I don't want to see anyone's moon!
Christina: God's showing us His moon.
Mom: Stop using my arm as a drumstick!
"Prayer is a way to turn dry theological descriptions into warm, living, personal realities. When we live in constant communication with God, our needs are met, our faith increases, and our love expands." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 166
Mom: Do you want milk?
Uncle Bill: No, we have red milk. [wine]
Auntie Gwennie: "Open away from face." What the--? It's a coffee filter, for crying out loud!
Christina: What's she getting?
Joe: I'm a he!
Uncle Bill: I strike on Fourth Street.
Katie: Good thing there are only three streets in cribbage.
"The point of your life is to point to Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 44
Katie: Don't lick her foot.
Laura [The her]: I feel breath on my toes!
"God is not someone who can be tacked on in our lives." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 96
Mom: What's your plan for tomorrow?
Katie [Sarcastically]: Let me check my calendar. Oh, look: it's blank.
Mom: Does that mean you have nothing going on tomorrow?
Katie: That's what a blank calendar means.
Mom: Not Dad's!
"That night I learned that God sees no barriers, even when I do. God is ready to use me. And when I focus on God instead of my mountain, He channels through me His grace and His power." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 81
Andy: Can I get a to-go box?
Elizabeth: Can I get a to-go cup?
Allyson: Can I get a to-go fork?
Laura: I feel old: I get to sign for mail.
Katie: Oh! It's probably my passport and China Visa.
Christina: It says refrigerate after opening.
Katie: It's probably not my passport.
Katie: I blogged.
Mom: How can you blog? It's Sunday.
Katie: I can blog whatever day I want!
"To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer." - Martin Luther
"Adoration is foreign to most people, and you will probably feel clumsy when you first try it. As with anything you take up--a new sport, a new computer program, a new job--you have to stretch yourself and work at it to do well." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 67
Katie: Ultimate flour sock.
Laura: What's that? You shove a sock in your flower? Wait.
Dad: Have you... gone potty?
Adam: Can I get a fourth of a cup of lemonade? Do you know what that means? If I have a 400-page book, I want 100 pages read.
Katie: Oh, I got it! By why wouldn't you want to read the other 300 pages?
Adam: I'm saving them for later.
Katie: What is this all about? I haven't been to church yet.
Pastor Russ: You haven't been to church yet?! Didn't you used to go to like three services? If you commit to praying for the high school ministry once a week, you get to paint a tile.
Katie: I have to pray? Once a week?!
Bob: You used to be like [high-pitched voice] "Yeah! I love to pray!"
Mom: We have a giant rabbit in our car. No, parking lot. No. We have a giant rabbit in our yard.
Katie: What was the ridiculous thing you said earlier that I didn't write now?
Mom: Nothing! Everything I say is incredibly intelligent!
Evan: Are you ready to walk and not faint?
Katie: Yeah, and run and not get weary, too!
Allyson: I'm glad you got that because I definitely didn't.
[See Isaiah 43:30-31]
Katie: In Chinese the days of the week are a number and then the word 'day.' Like Monday is one-day.
Mom: So Tuesday is Two-day? [Laughing]
Katie: Yes, today is Two-day Tuesday.
Katie: What time is it?
Elizabeth: It's 11:99.
"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 104
David: You never know with Rebekah. You turn around and she's throwing your five year old dreams out the window!
Katie: What did you lose in my computer?
Mom: I lost nothing; I found my jammies in your computer!
[Facebook conversation]
Katie: Was I the only one who wanted to stand up and dance during "Our God" at church this morning?
April: Why didn't you? I do. Maybe even sign a little!
Katie: When we were finally invited to sing I did clap my hands and move a little... but only a little. It is Lutheran church.
Brit: Katie, you heard this morning: we're liberal in practice but conservative in doctrine. I believe hand-clapping falls under practice.
Katie: What about dancing? Is that law or gospel?
"God is a worker who completes His works. Where is there an instance of God's beginning any work and leaving it incomplete? Show me once a world abandoned and thrown aside half-formed; show me a universe cast off from the Great Potter's wheel, with the design in outline, the clay half-hardened, and the form unshapely from incompleteness." - Charles Spurgeon
[Driving through a storm behind an airplane on a truck bed.]
Andy: That's why they're driving. If they were flying I wonder if the plane would drag the truck behind it, too.
Dad: I didn't understand why you were yelling at the dog.
Katie: I wasn't yelling at the dog. I was yelling at you.
Dad: Same thing.
Katie: Laura has a monopoly on all of the friends. [Beat] Laura, what are you doing? You're weird. [Beat] How do you have all of the friends?
Mom: She's less weird than you are!
[Telephone Pictionary]
Girl, age 14: Is "sexy" a bad word? I'll just use bodacious. How do you spell bodacious?
[The sentence] A bodacious angel wearing tight pants.
Katie: I'm trying not to sound like a dork in this email to Dr. T, and it's not working.
Elizabeth: Katie, it's Dr. T; he already knows you're a dork.
[Dad misbooked
Dad: Well, this is the dumbest, most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
Christina: No, it's not. Remember that time you double-booked Katie on the airplane so she had to sit next to herself?
Katie: Or the time you knocked over the full luggage cart in the parking lot?
"You cannot be everything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be." - Max Lucado
Katie: What's your favorite ice cream?
Boy, age 4: Tomato.
Katie: Tomato? I've never had tomato ice cream.
Boy: NOOO! Cookie dough!
[Bananagrams]
Mom: I wish I had a W to make dwarf. No, I wish I had a D; I have four Ws.
Katie: VBS does a great job of reminding me that I love children but I made the right choice not to go into education.
Laura: Oh. I'm the opposite.
Katie: You hate children and you're glad you're going into education?
Jackie, age 14: We need to all save up our money to buy a house and that way when you all die it can be mine.
Grandpa: What was that noise?
Katie: My fault. I pushed against the table to push my chair back, but apparently I'm heavier than the table.
Mom: First time in her life!
Christina: For my CNA stuff it says I have to be able to lift 50 pounds. How much is 50 pounds? Daddy, come here!
Dad: I weigh more than 50 pounds!
Christina: Ok, Katie, come here!
Katie: I weigh more than 50 pounds, too!
Christina: Fifty-two is close enough.
Mom: Katie! Dad's new scale is busted! It told me I weigh 300 pounds!
Katie: Let me try it. How does it work?
Mom: It doesn't.
Katie: It told me I weigh zero pounds.
Mom: You can have some of mine.
"[B]eing on a God-guided adventure truly is living life on another level than merely competing for wealth and achievement and prizes and toys of this work." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 173
Christian: But I believe in the Trinity!
Melissa: And Pastor Russ doesn't?
Uncle Jay: I'm the alien bringing the hay!
Auntie Gwennie: Are you practicing your Cantonese or your Mandarin?
Katie: My Mandarin.
Auntie Gwennie: Bok choy!
Mom: No, that's a vegetable.
Christina: Look! The moon!
Katie: I don't want to see anyone's moon!
Christina: God's showing us His moon.
Mom: Stop using my arm as a drumstick!
"Prayer is a way to turn dry theological descriptions into warm, living, personal realities. When we live in constant communication with God, our needs are met, our faith increases, and our love expands." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 166
Mom: Do you want milk?
Uncle Bill: No, we have red milk. [wine]
Auntie Gwennie: "Open away from face." What the--? It's a coffee filter, for crying out loud!
Christina: What's she getting?
Joe: I'm a he!
Uncle Bill: I strike on Fourth Street.
Katie: Good thing there are only three streets in cribbage.
"The point of your life is to point to Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 44
Monday, May 23, 2011
Storm
It's that time of year again when thunderstorms stretch all of the way across the country.
We had a great one the other night! The sky would not just illuminate so it looked like daytime but it would light up with sometimes three or four distinct lightning bolts.
Even though I was driving, every time this would happen, I would squeal with joy. "Did you see that one?!" It drove my sister nuts.
Sitting next to me in the passenger seat she was less than thrilled to be out in a storm. Before even getting in the car, she repeatedly told me to drive safely. She asked several people to text her if our Tornado Watch turned into a Tornado Warning. She was counting down the minutes until we made it home safely and praying the storm would pass quickly.
I too was excited to get home. I wanted to sit by our Palladian window and watch the lightning. She wanted to sit in the basement away from all windows.
Two reactions to the same thunderstorm. Likewise, there can be two reactions to the same life storm.
The reaction of Christina: praying it passes quickly, closing your eyes and hoping for a safe delivery to the other side, and wincing when the lights flickers.
The reaction of her older, wiser sister: enjoying the journey, getting a thrill from the unknown, and hoping the power goes out so the views are undistributed.
God, let me enjoy life storms as much as I enjoyed that thunderstorm. May I not just pray for it's quick passing but may I see Your peace amidst and through the storm. May I rejoice in every trial, see Your hand in every situation, and delight in the journey rather than waiting for the final result. If that's what it takes to praise You, bring the storm!
It makes me think of the MercyMe song "Bring the Rain"
Learning to enjoy the storms of life,
<>< Katie
We had a great one the other night! The sky would not just illuminate so it looked like daytime but it would light up with sometimes three or four distinct lightning bolts.
Even though I was driving, every time this would happen, I would squeal with joy. "Did you see that one?!" It drove my sister nuts.
Sitting next to me in the passenger seat she was less than thrilled to be out in a storm. Before even getting in the car, she repeatedly told me to drive safely. She asked several people to text her if our Tornado Watch turned into a Tornado Warning. She was counting down the minutes until we made it home safely and praying the storm would pass quickly.
I too was excited to get home. I wanted to sit by our Palladian window and watch the lightning. She wanted to sit in the basement away from all windows.
Two reactions to the same thunderstorm. Likewise, there can be two reactions to the same life storm.
The reaction of Christina: praying it passes quickly, closing your eyes and hoping for a safe delivery to the other side, and wincing when the lights flickers.
The reaction of her older, wiser sister: enjoying the journey, getting a thrill from the unknown, and hoping the power goes out so the views are undistributed.
God, let me enjoy life storms as much as I enjoyed that thunderstorm. May I not just pray for it's quick passing but may I see Your peace amidst and through the storm. May I rejoice in every trial, see Your hand in every situation, and delight in the journey rather than waiting for the final result. If that's what it takes to praise You, bring the storm!
It makes me think of the MercyMe song "Bring the Rain"
Bring me joy, bring me peaceWhat about you? Do you prefer the stormy parts of life or the peaceful? Can you dance in the rain or do you ask for smooth sailing?
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
Learning to enjoy the storms of life,
<>< Katie
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wacky Wednesday- Friday Edition
Christina: Will it go on your blog?
Katie: You betcha.
Mom: On Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: Yup. I haven't had a Wacky Wednesday in awhile.
Mom: What?! You've been with your family! How could you NOT have a Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: I have plenty of quotes for a Wacky Wednesday, but I haven't written one.
Christina: Have a Friday Edition of Wacky Wednesday.
Mom: On Thursday!
Katie: It seems only appropriate since I have no idea what day of the week it is anyway.
Mom: Ooooh! I'm a trash compactor and I can vacuum seal the bag!
Dad: How did I get in this family?
Auntie Gwennie: Better question: how do I get out?
Katie: We're lost... outside (without the car)... in Minnesota... in January! All because Mom wanted seafood... in Minnesota... in January! It might be August before I warm up!
Mom: Then we can go to Denise and Greg's, and Greg can do the photo shoot in his... jammies.
Laura: As long as he doesn't sleep naked.
Auntie Gwennie: Doesn't iron give you energy or something?
Uncle Bill: Tina, you've taken anatomy. Is that true?
Christina: Well, we studied iodine.
Mom [making white frosting]: There's something green in here. Oh, and red. Who put jimmies in my frosting?
Katie: Jimmy! Get out of the frosting!
Laura: Jimmy want to go in the frosting for a swim.
Katie: No, Jimmy licks the frosting.
Mom: Grandpa!
[Grandpa Jim taught my sisters and me to steal frosting from a cake without anyone noticing]
Dad: What's wrong? Why are you up so early?
Katie: It's ten-thirty, eleven-thirty to my body.
Dad: That's it.
Aunt Denise: Gail! You can't give him a present just because it says his name!
Mom: It says his name, just in the wrong spot!
Dad: Get naked and give me twenty.
Uncle Jay: I am not getting naked in front of you! And I'm not giving you twenty bucks either for that matter.
Mom: I will not put the Advent candles on Christina's birthday cake!
Katie: Ok, Daddy, I'm ready! I'm even wearing Grandma's long underwear. Where'd you go?
Dad: I'm hiding!
Mom: Do you want a poker stick to get the Christmas lights all the way up there?
Dad: I don't need a poker stick. I have Katie!
I was startled out of dream world by Laura's shouting.
Laura: That's ok; she loves me!
Without opening my eyes I knew--much to my dismay--that I was the she.
Katie: No she doesn't!
That wasn't going to stop her. When my bedroom door flew open, I threw my pillow over my face. There was no way to avoid whatever I was about to be the victim of, but my pillow would protect my face as I prayed for the best. Laura crawled on top of me in bed. Between the two of us, we make a normal-sized person, but that doesn't mean I like to be on the bottom of our person.
Laura: Katie, give me a hhhhhhhhug!
Mom [to Dad]: Do not pants your daughter!
Laura: Mom, I saw an animal outside.
Mom: What kind of animal was it?
Laura: Um... a giant white gerbil with a raw tail.
Mom: An opossum.
Man at Quiznos: Chips?
Mom: No, thanks.
Man: Beer, bourbon, scotch?
Mom: Oooh! Scotch, please.
Ben: Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Ax. Sorry in advance for drinking all of your milk.
He and three friends (the one other male among them being lactose intolerant) were here thirty-six hours, and they drank three gallons of milk.
Christina: Katie, what are you going to do when you're married?
Katie: Have kids.
Christina: And make them empty the dishwasher? Even your one year old? Does he have to empty the dishwasher?
Katie: It's a she.
Christina: And your three month old? Does she have to empty the dishwasher, too?
Katie: Yeah, he gets the plates up to the top shelf without needing any help. Wait a second! Why do I have a one year old and a three month old? Oh boy!
Mom: Adoption.
Christina: Your husband was married before. Katie got a used one!
Katie: You betcha.
Mom: On Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: Yup. I haven't had a Wacky Wednesday in awhile.
Mom: What?! You've been with your family! How could you NOT have a Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: I have plenty of quotes for a Wacky Wednesday, but I haven't written one.
Christina: Have a Friday Edition of Wacky Wednesday.
Mom: On Thursday!
Katie: It seems only appropriate since I have no idea what day of the week it is anyway.
Mom: Ooooh! I'm a trash compactor and I can vacuum seal the bag!
Dad: How did I get in this family?
Auntie Gwennie: Better question: how do I get out?
Katie: We're lost... outside (without the car)... in Minnesota... in January! All because Mom wanted seafood... in Minnesota... in January! It might be August before I warm up!
Mom: Then we can go to Denise and Greg's, and Greg can do the photo shoot in his... jammies.
Laura: As long as he doesn't sleep naked.
Auntie Gwennie: Doesn't iron give you energy or something?
Uncle Bill: Tina, you've taken anatomy. Is that true?
Christina: Well, we studied iodine.
Mom [making white frosting]: There's something green in here. Oh, and red. Who put jimmies in my frosting?
Katie: Jimmy! Get out of the frosting!
Laura: Jimmy want to go in the frosting for a swim.
Katie: No, Jimmy licks the frosting.
Mom: Grandpa!
[Grandpa Jim taught my sisters and me to steal frosting from a cake without anyone noticing]
Dad: What's wrong? Why are you up so early?
Katie: It's ten-thirty, eleven-thirty to my body.
Dad: That's it.
Aunt Denise: Gail! You can't give him a present just because it says his name!
Mom: It says his name, just in the wrong spot!
Dad: Get naked and give me twenty.
Uncle Jay: I am not getting naked in front of you! And I'm not giving you twenty bucks either for that matter.
Mom: I will not put the Advent candles on Christina's birthday cake!
Katie: Ok, Daddy, I'm ready! I'm even wearing Grandma's long underwear. Where'd you go?
Dad: I'm hiding!
Mom: Do you want a poker stick to get the Christmas lights all the way up there?
Dad: I don't need a poker stick. I have Katie!
I was startled out of dream world by Laura's shouting.
Laura: That's ok; she loves me!
Without opening my eyes I knew--much to my dismay--that I was the she.
Katie: No she doesn't!
That wasn't going to stop her. When my bedroom door flew open, I threw my pillow over my face. There was no way to avoid whatever I was about to be the victim of, but my pillow would protect my face as I prayed for the best. Laura crawled on top of me in bed. Between the two of us, we make a normal-sized person, but that doesn't mean I like to be on the bottom of our person.
Laura: Katie, give me a hhhhhhhhug!
Mom [to Dad]: Do not pants your daughter!
Laura: Mom, I saw an animal outside.
Mom: What kind of animal was it?
Laura: Um... a giant white gerbil with a raw tail.
Mom: An opossum.
Man at Quiznos: Chips?
Mom: No, thanks.
Man: Beer, bourbon, scotch?
Mom: Oooh! Scotch, please.
Ben: Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Ax. Sorry in advance for drinking all of your milk.
He and three friends (the one other male among them being lactose intolerant) were here thirty-six hours, and they drank three gallons of milk.
Christina: Katie, what are you going to do when you're married?
Katie: Have kids.
Christina: And make them empty the dishwasher? Even your one year old? Does he have to empty the dishwasher?
Katie: It's a she.
Christina: And your three month old? Does she have to empty the dishwasher, too?
Katie: Yeah, he gets the plates up to the top shelf without needing any help. Wait a second! Why do I have a one year old and a three month old? Oh boy!
Mom: Adoption.
Christina: Your husband was married before. Katie got a used one!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
"And Then I Found Five Dollars"
Since I've been home, I've told a lot of stories around our dinner table. When I finally pause to breathe at the end of each story, Christina has looked at me and said, "And then did you find five dollars?"
Every time she's said it, I've boiled with anger and frustration. The desire to rip off her head has increased with every smart alec comment that could be translated to, "That pointless story was a waste of my time."
I think that may be why Max Lucado's A Love Worth Giving has resonated so well with me, the queen of pointless stories.
In the chapter "Your Kindness Quotient," Max talks about Christ wanting to hear your story. The example used is the woman with the bleeding problem whose story is found sandwiched in Mark 5.
Basically she's been sick for years and years. She was out of money, and everyone told her to be out of hope. But she wasn't. She had the faith to believe Jesus could heal her, so she went to find Him.
Of course, He was busy. The daughter of a city leader (Jairus) was dying, and Jesus was on His way to perform a miraculous healing. This woman didn't want to take up Jesus's time, so she slid behind Him in the crowd and touched the hem of His robe.
Instantly she was healed and ready to go on her way. Jesus wasn't going to let her get off that easily.
"Who touched me?" He demanded.
Can you imagine the disciples' response? "We're in the middle of a crowd and You wonder who touched You? A million people! That guy there, this woman over here, but I was the one who stepped on Your foot. Sorry. Come on; let's go!"
Christ was adamant, and the woman timidly came forward. If it was me, I'd be ashamed of the ruckus I'd caused. Maybe she was, but she was also healed.
Max writes, "A girl was dying, people were pressing, the disciples were questioning, but Jesus... Jesus was listening. Listening to the whole story. He didn't have to. The healing would have been enough. Enough for her. Enough for the crowd. But not enough for Him. Jesus wanted to do more than heal her body. He wanted to hear her story--all of it. The whole story" (26).
It blows my mind that we have a Savior who is willing to hear every story we tell. He's not even disappointed when they're long and pointless. He'll never ask if we found five dollars. If the story is important to us, it is important to Him.
I saw a prime example of this years ago at a concert meet and greet crowd. A little girl came up and cut me in the blob of a line. Of course, at the time I was annoyed but years later I'm glad to have witnessed such a beautiful moment.
The artist, Peder Eide, leaned over to be at her height, put his arm around her, and held his head next to hers in order to hear her over the crowd. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but I knew it was intense because every once in a while Peder would draw back to make eye contact with her. As her story drew to a close, he started gently asking her questions. The crowd pressing for his attention no longer mattered; he wanted to know more about this little girl.
When she was done and he was done asking questions, Peder looked her in the eye and said, "Thank you for telling me that. I'll be praying for you."
Christ's waiting for you to tell Him the whole story. The crowd of people lobbying for His attention vanishes when He's got His arm around you listening to your story. He's willing to sit there and talk with you for as long as you want. He'll stay until your story is complete, even if it's long and boring. He'll ask questions and carefully listen to the answers. When you're done, He'll say, "Thank you for telling Me that. I'm sure it wasn't easy."
Sit and talk. Let Him be your Audience of One.
The non-monetary amount you find will be worth a whole lot more than five dollars.
<>< Katie
Every time she's said it, I've boiled with anger and frustration. The desire to rip off her head has increased with every smart alec comment that could be translated to, "That pointless story was a waste of my time."
I think that may be why Max Lucado's A Love Worth Giving has resonated so well with me, the queen of pointless stories.
In the chapter "Your Kindness Quotient," Max talks about Christ wanting to hear your story. The example used is the woman with the bleeding problem whose story is found sandwiched in Mark 5.
Basically she's been sick for years and years. She was out of money, and everyone told her to be out of hope. But she wasn't. She had the faith to believe Jesus could heal her, so she went to find Him.
Of course, He was busy. The daughter of a city leader (Jairus) was dying, and Jesus was on His way to perform a miraculous healing. This woman didn't want to take up Jesus's time, so she slid behind Him in the crowd and touched the hem of His robe.
Instantly she was healed and ready to go on her way. Jesus wasn't going to let her get off that easily.
"Who touched me?" He demanded.
Can you imagine the disciples' response? "We're in the middle of a crowd and You wonder who touched You? A million people! That guy there, this woman over here, but I was the one who stepped on Your foot. Sorry. Come on; let's go!"
Christ was adamant, and the woman timidly came forward. If it was me, I'd be ashamed of the ruckus I'd caused. Maybe she was, but she was also healed.
Max writes, "A girl was dying, people were pressing, the disciples were questioning, but Jesus... Jesus was listening. Listening to the whole story. He didn't have to. The healing would have been enough. Enough for her. Enough for the crowd. But not enough for Him. Jesus wanted to do more than heal her body. He wanted to hear her story--all of it. The whole story" (26).
It blows my mind that we have a Savior who is willing to hear every story we tell. He's not even disappointed when they're long and pointless. He'll never ask if we found five dollars. If the story is important to us, it is important to Him.
I saw a prime example of this years ago at a concert meet and greet crowd. A little girl came up and cut me in the blob of a line. Of course, at the time I was annoyed but years later I'm glad to have witnessed such a beautiful moment.
The artist, Peder Eide, leaned over to be at her height, put his arm around her, and held his head next to hers in order to hear her over the crowd. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but I knew it was intense because every once in a while Peder would draw back to make eye contact with her. As her story drew to a close, he started gently asking her questions. The crowd pressing for his attention no longer mattered; he wanted to know more about this little girl.
When she was done and he was done asking questions, Peder looked her in the eye and said, "Thank you for telling me that. I'll be praying for you."
Christ's waiting for you to tell Him the whole story. The crowd of people lobbying for His attention vanishes when He's got His arm around you listening to your story. He's willing to sit there and talk with you for as long as you want. He'll stay until your story is complete, even if it's long and boring. He'll ask questions and carefully listen to the answers. When you're done, He'll say, "Thank you for telling Me that. I'm sure it wasn't easy."
Sit and talk. Let Him be your Audience of One.
The non-monetary amount you find will be worth a whole lot more than five dollars.
<>< Katie
Thursday, December 30, 2010
A Year in Review: Books Style
I started 2009 with a goal of reading 13 books, one a month and one more. Since books for class don't count and I took three literature classes in 2009, that was a feasible goal. I read 14. So my goal this year was 17, and I hit 22. I think that means in 2011 I have to read 25...
1. Five Love Languages: Singles Edition by Gary Chapman
2. The Condition by Jennifer Haigh
3. June Bug by Chris Farby
My thoughts on books 4-9 and some more can be found here
4. In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez
A must-read if you like historical fiction and/or Latina America.
5. The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Historical fiction set in the Jackson, Mississippi, during the Civil Rights Era
6. The Wednesday Letters by Jason Wright
Laura, my dyslexic sister, devoured this book.
7. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Houssini
Christina, my other dyslexic sister, is eager to read this book. It's a must read if you like historical fiction and Afghanistan.
8. Invisible I by Stella Lennon
Part of The Amanda Project
9. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
My boss asked me to read this book. I never would have done it on my own, but I enjoyed it!
10. Unspoken Lies by Darrien Lee
I went to Barnes & Noble looking for a short book and bought this one just because it fit that description. Honestly, the only reason I kept reading this book was because I liked the exposition. I was not impressed with the dialogue, storyline or ending. The whole story revolved around the characters having affairs and getting away with it, and the ending seemed like a cop out. I don't recommend it, sorry.
11. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
I read this book as a writer and it was good. I would love to go back and read it again, this time just as a person. My roommates and I have embraced his idea of filling life with memorable moments. Our first Memorable Moment was putting birthday candles in Amy and Melia's chicken breast instead of in their cake. I do recommend this book but take your time reading it. Let everything sink in before you move on to the next chapter.
12. Fearless by Max Lucado
I didn't realize how much control fear has in my life until I read his book on how to get rid of it. I love all Max Lucado books, but this is definitely one of my favorites. If you're going to try Max for just one book, pick this one.
13. Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman
I was promised I would love this book. And I did. It did take me awhile to get into it, though, because I was coming off a long stretch of historical fiction books. All of my other thoughts about it are in a Writer's Notebook at school, sorry.
14. A Novel Idea
A writing book I highly recommend if you're interested in writing Christian fiction. I took notes.
15. "Unveiled," "Unashamed," and "Unshaken" part of A Lineage of Grace by Francine Rivers
They are three fictional short stories looked at the lives of nonfictional Tamar, Rahab, and Ruth. Francine Rivers brings Bible characters to life in a way I've never experienced before. I had a hard time getting into these stories at first, but I was disappointed I couldn't finish the book (I borrowed it and had to return it). Although, if you're going to read Francine Rivers you have to read Redeeming Love.
16, 17. Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Books two and three in The Hunger Games series. When I read the first book, I criticized Collins for dragging the story out through three books rather than just ending it. Maybe it's just my dislike for sequels. I still understand why I argued that, but I'm glad she didn't ask my opinion before writing books two and three. The books are considered young adult fiction, but I've heard of a lot of adults thoroughly enjoying them. Elizabeth and Andy kept pestering me to read and finish them so we could all talk about them. Catching Fire I read in one weekend, but Mockingjay I spread out over months just because it was that time in the semester. They're not hard reads, and Mrs. Mary says her seventh graders are devouring them. Maybe a good book for a middle schooler to read with a parent.
18. Cast of Characters by Max Lucado
This is kind of like Lineage of Grace in that it takes Bible characters and focuses in on their lives. The way Max (can you call the author by his first name when you've read 15 of his books?) brings the characters to life forced me to think about them in ways that had never crossed my mind before. It's also a devotional so you can see trends between their lives then and ours today. Are they really that much different?
19. One Foot in Eden by Ron Rash
I love Ron Rash. I'm a little biased because I've met him twice but that's besides the point. I prefer Serena, but I enjoyed One Foot in Eden, too. It doesn't have the "typical Rash body count" (Rash); only a handful of (creative) deaths. Every section is written from a different character's POV and in their voice. I liked the overlap, hearing the same story told in two different points of view. If I wrote it, I would have ended it one section sooner. Actually, if I get to meet Rash again, I want to ask why he did it the way he did.
20. Grace: For Those Who Think They Don't Measure Up by Bob Lenz
Another author I've heard speak many times. Bob writes just like he talks which was a bit of a deterrent for me since I am a writer. The tangents he takes in real life work well. The same principle doesn't work as well in writing. I started reading this book years ago and just now finally finished it because I'm not his target audience. It is a great book for youth struggling with the ideas of grace and faith. Not so great for a 20-something confident in her faith.
21. Flight
Not a published book yet but when it does become published you can say I told you about it. One of my friends send me the novel of another friend and asked for my feedback. I enjoyed it, I learned from it, and I gave constructive criticism. I look forward to seeing it on a shelf in Barnes & Noble one day.
22. The Bible
For the second year in a row I did a "Read the Bible in a year" thing. If you've never read the Bible in a year (or ever), I recommend using this one. It's challenging but doable. For me, I wasn't very diligent about getting into the Word but this helped a lot. I did spend a lot of time behind but (unless something changes in the next two days) I'm finishing on time. I don't know if I'm going to do it again in 2011 just because after two years it's kind of assignment-like rather than a desire to seek Him. We'll see if I can dig in without the accountability...
What have you all been reading lately?
I'm ringing in 2011 with a moving bookmark in A Love With Giving (Max Lucado) and How the Garcia Girls Lost the Accents (Julia Alvarez). What else should I add to my list?
<>< Katie
1. Five Love Languages: Singles Edition by Gary Chapman
2. The Condition by Jennifer Haigh
3. June Bug by Chris Farby
My thoughts on books 4-9 and some more can be found here
4. In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez
A must-read if you like historical fiction and/or Latina America.
5. The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Historical fiction set in the Jackson, Mississippi, during the Civil Rights Era
6. The Wednesday Letters by Jason Wright
Laura, my dyslexic sister, devoured this book.
7. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Houssini
Christina, my other dyslexic sister, is eager to read this book. It's a must read if you like historical fiction and Afghanistan.
8. Invisible I by Stella Lennon
Part of The Amanda Project
9. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
My boss asked me to read this book. I never would have done it on my own, but I enjoyed it!
10. Unspoken Lies by Darrien Lee
I went to Barnes & Noble looking for a short book and bought this one just because it fit that description. Honestly, the only reason I kept reading this book was because I liked the exposition. I was not impressed with the dialogue, storyline or ending. The whole story revolved around the characters having affairs and getting away with it, and the ending seemed like a cop out. I don't recommend it, sorry.
11. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
I read this book as a writer and it was good. I would love to go back and read it again, this time just as a person. My roommates and I have embraced his idea of filling life with memorable moments. Our first Memorable Moment was putting birthday candles in Amy and Melia's chicken breast instead of in their cake. I do recommend this book but take your time reading it. Let everything sink in before you move on to the next chapter.
12. Fearless by Max Lucado
I didn't realize how much control fear has in my life until I read his book on how to get rid of it. I love all Max Lucado books, but this is definitely one of my favorites. If you're going to try Max for just one book, pick this one.
13. Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman
I was promised I would love this book. And I did. It did take me awhile to get into it, though, because I was coming off a long stretch of historical fiction books. All of my other thoughts about it are in a Writer's Notebook at school, sorry.
14. A Novel Idea
A writing book I highly recommend if you're interested in writing Christian fiction. I took notes.
15. "Unveiled," "Unashamed," and "Unshaken" part of A Lineage of Grace by Francine Rivers
They are three fictional short stories looked at the lives of nonfictional Tamar, Rahab, and Ruth. Francine Rivers brings Bible characters to life in a way I've never experienced before. I had a hard time getting into these stories at first, but I was disappointed I couldn't finish the book (I borrowed it and had to return it). Although, if you're going to read Francine Rivers you have to read Redeeming Love.
16, 17. Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Books two and three in The Hunger Games series. When I read the first book, I criticized Collins for dragging the story out through three books rather than just ending it. Maybe it's just my dislike for sequels. I still understand why I argued that, but I'm glad she didn't ask my opinion before writing books two and three. The books are considered young adult fiction, but I've heard of a lot of adults thoroughly enjoying them. Elizabeth and Andy kept pestering me to read and finish them so we could all talk about them. Catching Fire I read in one weekend, but Mockingjay I spread out over months just because it was that time in the semester. They're not hard reads, and Mrs. Mary says her seventh graders are devouring them. Maybe a good book for a middle schooler to read with a parent.
18. Cast of Characters by Max Lucado
This is kind of like Lineage of Grace in that it takes Bible characters and focuses in on their lives. The way Max (can you call the author by his first name when you've read 15 of his books?) brings the characters to life forced me to think about them in ways that had never crossed my mind before. It's also a devotional so you can see trends between their lives then and ours today. Are they really that much different?
19. One Foot in Eden by Ron Rash
I love Ron Rash. I'm a little biased because I've met him twice but that's besides the point. I prefer Serena, but I enjoyed One Foot in Eden, too. It doesn't have the "typical Rash body count" (Rash); only a handful of (creative) deaths. Every section is written from a different character's POV and in their voice. I liked the overlap, hearing the same story told in two different points of view. If I wrote it, I would have ended it one section sooner. Actually, if I get to meet Rash again, I want to ask why he did it the way he did.
20. Grace: For Those Who Think They Don't Measure Up by Bob Lenz
Another author I've heard speak many times. Bob writes just like he talks which was a bit of a deterrent for me since I am a writer. The tangents he takes in real life work well. The same principle doesn't work as well in writing. I started reading this book years ago and just now finally finished it because I'm not his target audience. It is a great book for youth struggling with the ideas of grace and faith. Not so great for a 20-something confident in her faith.
21. Flight
Not a published book yet but when it does become published you can say I told you about it. One of my friends send me the novel of another friend and asked for my feedback. I enjoyed it, I learned from it, and I gave constructive criticism. I look forward to seeing it on a shelf in Barnes & Noble one day.
22. The Bible
For the second year in a row I did a "Read the Bible in a year" thing. If you've never read the Bible in a year (or ever), I recommend using this one. It's challenging but doable. For me, I wasn't very diligent about getting into the Word but this helped a lot. I did spend a lot of time behind but (unless something changes in the next two days) I'm finishing on time. I don't know if I'm going to do it again in 2011 just because after two years it's kind of assignment-like rather than a desire to seek Him. We'll see if I can dig in without the accountability...
What have you all been reading lately?
I'm ringing in 2011 with a moving bookmark in A Love With Giving (Max Lucado) and How the Garcia Girls Lost the Accents (Julia Alvarez). What else should I add to my list?
<>< Katie
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Wacky Wednesday
We all say funny things. Some of us more than others. <>< Katie
Dad: I'm booking your hotel for Festival.
[This was literally two days after Festival...he clarified it was for 2011]
Laura: Mom said you already did that.
Dad: Yeah, well, hotels are weird. Sometimes you have to call them twice.
Random Guy in the Post Office: You don't need a passport to visit Hawaii, do you? Because it's in the same country, right?
Katie: What's the purpose of a foyer?
Mom: To welcome your friends into your house.
Katie: Last time I had a friend over it was October. And we came in through the garage.
Mom: I'm sorry your friends don't live in this country.
Christina: What's another word for "mouth" that starts with a "b"?
Laura: Orifice.
Christina: That's it!
Peder: Hey, Festival, love your lawn chair. Hug your lawn chair. Take your lawn chair home with you otherwise it will go into the lawn chair morgue, and we don't want that. We love our lawn chairs. You can bring your lawn chair back at noon tomorrow.
[Easter Sunday morning]
Katie: What's in your pocket?
Andy: My pocket knife.
Katie: Why?
Andy: In case I need to cut something.
Katie: What are you cutting in church?
Andy: Who knows: sandwiches, pickles, leaves, people--I'm trained to handle that.
Katie: It's wrong to cut people.
Andy: What about surgeons? They cut people.
Katie: That's a slightly different situation.
Andy: You're a slightly different situation.
Katie: So you're bringing your knife to church because we're going to have surgery in our church clothes?
Andy: No, they cut those off.
Mom: Tina, get the blue laundry basket off of the... um... what's it called?... um...
Katie: Chair. Washing machine. Couch. Counter. Mantel.
Mom: Deck!
Katie: I'm glad you figured it out on your own because I would have been shouting nouns at you for a long time before I came up with that one.
[a facebook conversation... no photo involved]
Brother One: Brother! Nobody wants to see your poop!
Brother Two: Please?
Katie: I bet your dad's interested.
the dad: I'm as interested as Katie is.
Katie: I like poop stories better, thanks.
Sarah: I sleep in pajamas most nights.
[on the bus back from the NYG]
Katie: Pastor Russ, I don't have ample floorspace back here, so I put my flip flops under your seat. If they slide up there, just kick them back to me, please.
Pastor Russ: If they slide up here, I'm throwing them in the garbage.
Katie: That's fine, but then I get to wear your shoes.
PR: Good thing I only have four different types of foot fungus.
[Mom had just used some relatively normal medical term... Christina's in high school]
Christina: I know I'm going to be a nurse and I should know what that means, but I haven't taken physics yet.
Uncle Bill: What are you holding? A zucchini? A cucumber?
Uncle Jay: A carrot?
Dad: A grape?
Uncle Jay: With elephantitis!
[it was a potato... a normal potato.... now forever known as a grape with elephantitis]
Christina: Daddy, why were you at the doctor?
Dad [creepy voice]: Bahlud. Vampries. Bahlud.
Christina: Did they take a pint?
Dad [serious voice]: A quart. Might have been a half-gallon.
Christina: Oh.
Pastor Seth: Have you gotten dinner?
Katie: I ate lunch at like 3.
PS: So you had lunner?
Mom: I need a Rav-4 Brochure.
Katie: I don't know what that means.
Mom: A Rav-4 is a car and a brochure is a little booklet.
I took her all of the little booklets I could find.
Speaker Dude: Your story isn't about you. Look it up. [pointing to a Bible]
Nikki: Keith! I think I'm sick, I've blogged twice in a week and I have two others in draft.
Keith: If that is sick, rush me to the critical care unit. And bury Katie; she's been dead awhile.
Dad: I'm booking your hotel for Festival.
[This was literally two days after Festival...he clarified it was for 2011]
Laura: Mom said you already did that.
Dad: Yeah, well, hotels are weird. Sometimes you have to call them twice.
Random Guy in the Post Office: You don't need a passport to visit Hawaii, do you? Because it's in the same country, right?
Katie: What's the purpose of a foyer?
Mom: To welcome your friends into your house.
Katie: Last time I had a friend over it was October. And we came in through the garage.
Mom: I'm sorry your friends don't live in this country.
Christina: What's another word for "mouth" that starts with a "b"?
Laura: Orifice.
Christina: That's it!
Peder: Hey, Festival, love your lawn chair. Hug your lawn chair. Take your lawn chair home with you otherwise it will go into the lawn chair morgue, and we don't want that. We love our lawn chairs. You can bring your lawn chair back at noon tomorrow.
[Easter Sunday morning]
Katie: What's in your pocket?
Andy: My pocket knife.
Katie: Why?
Andy: In case I need to cut something.
Katie: What are you cutting in church?
Andy: Who knows: sandwiches, pickles, leaves, people--I'm trained to handle that.
Katie: It's wrong to cut people.
Andy: What about surgeons? They cut people.
Katie: That's a slightly different situation.
Andy: You're a slightly different situation.
Katie: So you're bringing your knife to church because we're going to have surgery in our church clothes?
Andy: No, they cut those off.
Mom: Tina, get the blue laundry basket off of the... um... what's it called?... um...
Katie: Chair. Washing machine. Couch. Counter. Mantel.
Mom: Deck!
Katie: I'm glad you figured it out on your own because I would have been shouting nouns at you for a long time before I came up with that one.
[a facebook conversation... no photo involved]
Brother One: Brother! Nobody wants to see your poop!
Brother Two: Please?
Katie: I bet your dad's interested.
the dad: I'm as interested as Katie is.
Katie: I like poop stories better, thanks.
Sarah: I sleep in pajamas most nights.
[on the bus back from the NYG]
Katie: Pastor Russ, I don't have ample floorspace back here, so I put my flip flops under your seat. If they slide up there, just kick them back to me, please.
Pastor Russ: If they slide up here, I'm throwing them in the garbage.
Katie: That's fine, but then I get to wear your shoes.
PR: Good thing I only have four different types of foot fungus.
[Mom had just used some relatively normal medical term... Christina's in high school]
Christina: I know I'm going to be a nurse and I should know what that means, but I haven't taken physics yet.
Uncle Bill: What are you holding? A zucchini? A cucumber?
Uncle Jay: A carrot?
Dad: A grape?
Uncle Jay: With elephantitis!
[it was a potato... a normal potato.... now forever known as a grape with elephantitis]
Christina: Daddy, why were you at the doctor?
Dad [creepy voice]: Bahlud. Vampries. Bahlud.
Christina: Did they take a pint?
Dad [serious voice]: A quart. Might have been a half-gallon.
Christina: Oh.
Pastor Seth: Have you gotten dinner?
Katie: I ate lunch at like 3.
PS: So you had lunner?
Mom: I need a Rav-4 Brochure.
Katie: I don't know what that means.
Mom: A Rav-4 is a car and a brochure is a little booklet.
I took her all of the little booklets I could find.
Speaker Dude: Your story isn't about you. Look it up. [pointing to a Bible]
Nikki: Keith! I think I'm sick, I've blogged twice in a week and I have two others in draft.
Keith: If that is sick, rush me to the critical care unit. And bury Katie; she's been dead awhile.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Birthday Bash
My extended family of thirteen took our annual birthday celebration on the road to a cabin in a world where pine trees are planted in perfect rows, motels pride themselves on having cable tv and air conditioning, and the nearest town had a high school but no grocery store. I've written two blog posts about our journey but both left me with a "Who cares?" feeling. So I'm going to try something a little different. Let me know if you like it or not.
<>< Katie
(Most photo credits belong to Laura but some are mine and some Mom's)
One day we went tubing and kayaking down the river. We were expecting a two-hour adventure, but it really took upwards of four. The beer cooler got its own tube, but we forgot to pack food. I felt like a message in a bottle; except at one point I was being blown upstream rather than down.
We had four dogs with us. This is Holly, Queen of the World. I was less than thrilled when she decided I needed a wake-up kiss on my nose at 8am...
Cassie, my family's dog, seems to think eating is optional. Before we left, my aunt looked up the nearest animal ER: twenty-one minutes away. She forgot to look up a people ER. We teased there we were so much in the middle of nowhere that there was no 911. That joke was a whole lot funnier before we had an incident when calling 911 would have been appropriate.
One uncle tried to make a pudgy pie with no spray and only one piece of bread. I'm glad I caught the novice... crisis adverted.
Dad: Breakfast is always good when it involves a hammer. Katie! Write that one down.
My uncle walked in one afternoon and found my male cousin painting my sister's toenails. My uncle laughed at my cousin. Personally, I think painting fingernails and braiding hair are two life-skills that boys should have. My uncle--who has a wife but no children--claimed he could braid hair, so I let him try. It took two tries before he got this in my head but gave up before he had to use a ponytail holder... hence the twisty stolen from the bread bag.
My favorite thing: fire
Laura's favorite thing: feet
(both sarcastic)
Grandpa: What do you guys have against feet? Feet are wonderful people!
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