Author's Note: the following is a collection of ridiculous statements or deeply profound conclusions that I have heard, seen, or been told over the last month. Some are meant in jest. Some are not. As always, some have been forgotten before they could be written down. My deepest apologies. Enjoy!
Tracy: We cannot prevent the storm but we can prepare for it.
Neal: Have you already eaten?
Katie: Yeah, I ate over there.
Katie: But if I sit next to Stacy long enough I might have to eat again.
Katie: Your shirt's crooked. I would have told you that immediately when you walked in but I was kind of like, "Meh, it's Nikki, at least she's wearing clothing."
Mom [walking into an empty kitchen]: So then we... wait! Where is everybody? It's the rapture and they've all been taken but I've been left behind!
Nikki: I got some llama slobber on my formal dress.
Pete Wilson: Your crisis will become less of a crisis when you replace fear of the unknown with a healthy fear of the known God.
Girl [age 10]: How do you stop turkeys from stargazing?
Amy: I wish tomorrow was Saturday.
Nikki: Hey, now, at this point we're not wishing away days.
Amy: No, just two Saturdays in a row. Let's pray about that.
Stacy [running in from the other room]: Pray about what?
Men: Bro picture!
Michael: Let's stand somewhere with pretty flowers in the background.
Neal: Does everyone who sits at this table have to be loud?!
Katie: I can drink and dance at the same time; I'm Lutheran.
Amy: Jennifer! Can you get the bug spray? I don't want to lose sight of this spider!
Nikki: Don't smash him in the carpet! That won't come out of the carpet!
Nikki, Amy, Jennifer: AHHHHHHH!!
Nikki: Wait! We have shoes! Why don't we use shoes?
[Apparently I'm the only one with shoes]
Professor: The brain can only absorb what the seat can endure.
Amy: Katie, can I have another Crunch bar?
Elizabeth: Did Amy just use the word "coinstar"?
Martin Luther: God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone but also on the trees and in the flowers and clouds and stars.
Neal: I am like an elephant.
Katie: What does that mean?! You're huge and you have a long trunk?
Chase: We are wired for worship. We are made to worship. But often times we worship what was created rather than the Creator.
English misspeak and mock...
Katie: When you speak three languages, we'll talk! And in one of the other ones.
Anonymous Female Friend: In heaven we will never have to wear a bra again!
Elizabeth: I'll take a coffee. Do you have any specialty coffee?
Elizabeth: And I want apple butter. I'm requesting it. The menu says "on request."
Teresa: Be intentional with your relationships and be intentional with your time unless you want them to be stolen away.
Jennifer: I want to buy someone to play guitar for me while I fall asleep.
Katie: Usually when the words "buy" and "someone" are put together we use the word "hire."
Jennifer: Ok, I'm going to hire someone to play guitar for me and eventually they'll learn to do it for free and then they'll volunteer.
Keith: I was averaging a book a week in that class. I was booking it!
David: Ultimately life continues regardless of our desire for time to stand still. God has given us each day so we should take joy in those moments.
Amy: It's like we always tell Katie: mockery is the greatest form of love.
Elizabeth: Katie, they are lying to you. They just want to make fun of you.
"A story is only sad if there's no happy ending. I guess I always believe in that ending." - Dr. Julia Cates from Magic Hour by Kristin Hannah
Mom: I don't know what brushing my teeth has to do with Christmas.
Pastor Russ: We don't enjoy the time in between. It feels like a wasteland.
Adam [offering a poptart]: Want some?
Sara: What kind is it?
David: Yes, earring.
Nikki: Katie, I was really thirsty, so I pretended we were in a foreign country and drank some of your water.
Micah [preteen]: Um... don't slip. Do you want to have kids?
Neal: Remember, the longer the story the more embellishing.