Author's Note: The following is a collection of ridiculous or profound statements and conversations heard throughout the month of December. <>< Katie
[In bed not wanting to get up on a Sunday morning]
Jennifer: Why can't we just have church here?
Katie: Those are called televangelists.
Amy: Or Katie could preach. My Bible's over there.
Katie: Oh, good. I need that.
Amy: Jennifer can be the pulpit.
Katie: Who's going to serve communion?
Amy: We're Baptist. We don't do that every day.
Mrs L: There's the cookie sheet I've been looking for! The flat one.
Mom: Awe, man! My new vacuum is parts as parts! With screws and everything! I just want to plug and play! I don't have time to put together a vacuum cleaner; I have to vacuum! The humanity!
Katie: What is that noise and how do we make it stop?
Mom: It's me washing the windows.
Katie: Oh. It sounds like Tina's farting ringtone.
Katie: This is your job for next week.
Uncle Jack: Put that vacuum together? That I can do. Is there more than one piece?
Katie: No.
Uncle Jack: Well, then we're pretty much done. What's the next project?
Katie: Fix the dishwasher. That's tomorrow's job. It can't wait until next week.
Uncle Boris: For senior photos I got: "Your head looks like a mushroom" or "your head looks like a plantain."
Amy: How do you only lose one boot?
Jo: I just kicked it off and I don't know. How do you need stitches once a week?
Amy: What?
Jo: I'm not kidding. Every Saturday I needed stitches. It was usually stupid stuff too like getting excited when the grandparents came over and tripping up the cement stairs.
Katie: Look! It's a bracelet I can wear as a belt and it's ok!
Dustin: Katie, what's one word that describes you?
Phil: Jobless.
Jennifer: Your volcanic pretzels look like an anteater nose.
Mom: Now you told Laura that she has big feet and Christina that she weighs more than the dog. You need to go to bed. Go to your room!
Uncle Jack: Oh, do you need a complement, too? You look very nice up there dusting.
Alex: No more squeaking in the car.
Caroline: (something about) Britney Spears.
Katie: Does she have hair again?
David: I thought she was dead. I thought she D.O.ed. I mead ODed.
Laura: Girl, I have a knife and an onion in my hand. Don't mess with me!]
Jennifer: Katie, if you were on a desert island with email and a book, you'd be just fine.
Katie: Yeah, I'd just Tweet for someone to come rescue me.
Jennifer: You wouldn't have Twitter. Well, I guess you could just email someone.
Jo: How do you poop in your shoe when you lay on your back?
Amy: He's two months old. Who knows!
Mom: Look at those white caps!
Katie: Those aren't white caps; they're mud puddles.
Jennifer: So we put these there.
Katie: But these already have those.
Jennifer: "These already have those?" Katie, I wish you would write down your own quotes.
Katie: Sometimes I do.
Alex: Wal-mart is like a time-warp. You walk in and boom you've been there for an hour.
Katie: We have a tendency to be late to Peder Eide concerts.
Mom: No, you have a tendency to be late.
Katie: No, last time I was two hours early! But I might have been responsible for making the entire concert late.
Uncle: All of the sudden you get a gray eyebrow, and it's like, "I'm here, and I'm looking around! I can drive the car all by myself, thank you. Where's my beer?!"
Amy: By the time I get to church I'm tired.
Katie: Amy doesn't love Jesus!
Amy: No. [Beat] Wait. [Beat] What did you say?
Laura: Do we have any Dixie cups?
Mom: Yes, they're in the slow cooker.
Christina: Laura, I really like those pants. They make your legs look two inches deep.
Uncle Boris: If you give a moose a muffin.
Mom: If you give a pig a pancake.
Katie: If you give a squirrel a shrimp.
Uncle Boris: If you give a cow a cornflake.
Mom: If you give a mouse a cookie.
Uncle Boris: No, it has to start with the same number.
Grandma: The [Christmas] tree was giving me the finger in reverse.
Katie: I have "Live Like Christmas" stuck in my head.
Laura: Good! 'Cuz IT'S CHRISTMAS!
Tabitha: Sorry. My stomach makes weird noises after I eat.
Rebekah: It's called digestion.
Alex: You just stabbed yourself with my fingernail.
Laura: I have to go pick up twenty things in my room because that's how old I am.
Mom: Or you could pick up for twenty minutes.
Laura: No!
Jamie: My goal this weekend is to make it in Katie's quote book.
Mom: Oh, there's a random plate in the fridge.
Katie: Better than a fork in the den.
Friend: Did I just walk into an alternate dimension?
Christina: Welcome to the Axelsons'!
Jamie: Ok, she never needs to wear her hair like that again. She looks like the girl from Star Wars--Glena.
Mom: If I'm going to get anything done today, I have to take off this sweater.
Katie: What?! If you want to be productive, you have to be naked?
Mom: No, no, no. That's now what I said. This sweater--
Laura: She already told me. That sweater you can't roll up the sleeves and the bottom's stretched out so it's BAAHUM PAAAAAH!
Katie: Is that a direct quote?
Mom: How do you spell that?
Chris: What will Andy say is your quirkiest feature?
Elizabeth: I repeat myself. I say the same thing.
"Rudolph is like the Bible--you can't take it out of context."
Uncle Jack: We didn't pray, you know.
Katie: I talked to Jesus already.
Uncle Jack: I find myself doing that a lot--especially with you guys around.
Jennifer: Save money. Buy pants.
Katie: Matthew, I really don't mind if you sing Christmas songs--even if your voice isn't cooperating. But we need Jesus Christmas songs. No Santa Christmas songs today.
Matthew: Well, if you paint Santa as a Christ-figure--
Katie: No.
Laura: Sometimes Miranda bites me.
Mom: Bite her back!
Laura: Zach did once, and she cried!
Katie: Jennifer, do I need my Bible?
Amy [serious]: No. We're only going to church.
Rhonda: Awe, man, I am tired! Claudia, it's going to have to be a fast bath.
Donovan: I am totally Tweeting that!
Rhonda, Claudia: No! We want jobs some day! Don't Tweet about us giving the cat a bath.
Mom: Katie's driving so that means she's ultimately the boss!
Katie: Does anyone know what the temperature is supposed to be today?
Amy: Check your email.
Jennifer: High of 51. So cold!
Mom: I have not successfully made burnt carrots yet!
Lauren: Do you spell your name as one word or two?
Maryrose: One with no capital "r."
Sarah: I don't think God cares.
Katie: What's for dinner?
Mom: I don't know yet. I don't know who's all going to be here. If it's just Dad and me, we're having steak. If everybody's here, we're having bologna.
Laura: If your socks and my socks had a baby, it would look like this scarf!
"God appoints people who disappoint to point to a God who never disappoints." - Ann Voskamp
Showing posts with label Elizabeth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elizabeth. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: The following are quotations taken from real conversations heard, read, or encountered during the month of November. Enjoy!
<>< Katie
Scott: My wife told me we're going baby shopping this afternoon.
Bob: Didn't you already buy one of those?
Scott: Two. We bought two.
Bob: Make sure you save the receipt.
Dawn: Were they on sale?
Katie: Two for the price of one?
Bob: He's an extreme couponer!
Christina: Lady Gaga is a singer.
Dad: Lady Gaga is a nightmare.
Linnea: If my baby is born with a beard, we're switching it in the hospital!
Random Man to Son: You were crying in your apple juice. Do you know why you were crying in your apple juice? Because you don't like apple juice.
David: Book! [meaning Writer's Notebook where I keep Wacky Wednesday quotes]
Jocelyn: I like your boob! [She meant book]
David: Book!
Christina: What does the guy from "Sister Wives" put on facebook [for his relationship status]?
Katie: Shaun Groves just Tweeted, "Googling the lyrics to my own dadgum song."
Christina: Who's Lulu?
Katie: What?
Christina: Lulu liked his song? Who's Lulu?
Brent [To some giggly high school girls at a Peder Eide concert]: Go bug Peder. Seriously. It'll take some pressure off of Katie.
[Reading the monthly cell phone bill over dinner]
Dad: Someone spent three dollars downloading a video.
Mom: Wait a second, let me see that, that three dollars was the [Dad's number] guy.
Dad: Oops.
Katie: So what I'm hearing is that Laura's a minutes hog, Mom only texts Christina, Dad buys three dollar videos, and Katie wins with the least usage of everything.
Mom: Yeah, whatever.
Katie: Whatever? I haven't gotten a text message in three days.
Mom: That's because your inbox is full. You need a new phone.
"No matter what this world does, you're valuable. The Lord gives you help for the hurt and hope for the future." - Bob Lenz
[Taking a photo]
Katie: One, two, four.
Peder: Miss Katie, we need to work on your counting.
Katie: I was an English major.
[After I'd been on the phone for twenty minutes]
Grandma: I'm glad she took sign language in college!
[Putting my number in his phone]
Mark: L-A-U-R-A
Katie: Um... I spell my name with a K.
Mom: Here, wear this step stool!
Sparkle the cat: I just did. Why do I have to wear it again?
Laura: Katie! You'll be so proud of me! I played The Alphabet Game yesterday and WON! TWICE!
Katie: Was the other person driving?
Laura: There was no other person.
"Thank You that even in the wilderness You are Emmanuel--God with us." -Tracy
[On facebook]
Andy [to Elizabeth]: I love you!
Katie: I love you, too!
Andy: I think you misspelled two, Katie.
Katie: No, I only love you; not Elizabeth.
Andy: lol I completely saw that going the opposite direction! I love you too, Katie. And so does Elizabeth!
Katie: Success! I love you two and miss you, too!
Bob: Don't complain about being dress size one when I'm a sixteen!
Christina: How was Oscar's [the cat] surprise attack?
Mom: Well, the doctor cut off my wart today.
[Catch Phrase]
Linnea: The continent that--
Katie: Alaska!
Katie: With as little as I listen to the radio, when I know all the words to a song, it's overplayed.
[Laura burst out laughing]
Katie: Um... I didn't think what I said was that funny.
Laura: It wasn't! That... that bar we just... passed... had a... had a toilet... on the front porch!
Mark: I can walk and chew gum at the same time!
[via text]
Katie: I am at the coffee shop actually being productive on a Saturday for once!
Amber: Good for you
Katie: It's because you're not here.
Amber: Haha
Katie: But I am lonely.
Amber: That's why you're actually getting work done.
Jocelyn: They danced funnily.
Katie: Look at how these pants sit on me. If I didn't have my hips right here, they'd just fall right off. If something happened to my hips, I'd never be able to wear pants again... without suspenders.
Greg: We're going to catch a deer then put it in the back of the van and take it to the vet to kill it humanely.
[Mark was walking out of church with three empty cups]
Katie: Were you a little thirsty?
Mark: Yeah. Dehydrated.
Katie: You're going to have to go to the little boys' room.
Mark: No, I already--
Katie: You already went? In church?!
Mark: No. I'm wearing a diaper. [Beat] And you sat next to me. Does that make you uncomfortable?
Mom: Lies!
Laura: I wouldn't lie to you! You're my momma!
Katie: All the more reason to lie to her!
[At small group]
Dustin: No talking about Jesus! It's not allowed.
Katie: I'm not going to be able to come anymore.
Dustin: Wait, what? Why can't you come anymore?!
Katie: Because we can't talk about Jesus.
Dustin: Oh, ok.
Mom: Come here. And don't get excited because I'm asking you to follow me upstairs.
[Dad's face fell]
Mom: The balance ball is NOT a horizontal surface!
Charlie: I have this friend. I don't know if he's alive. I've been checking the obituaries but I haven't found him, so I'm going to call him. I figure if he picks up, that's a good sign.
Lauren: It's the same storyline just with different characters.
David: Twilight?
Drew: No, those are the same characters.
Katie: This shirt kind of makes me look fat.
Mom: Good! Wear it every day!
Hygienist: Do you floss?
Katie: Yes. Not like I should but yes. Especially after I eat popcorn.
Hygienist: Ok, every day at 3:00 you have to eat popcorn.
Katie: That I can do!
"Praise, not perfection. He wants my praise not my perfection." - Ann Voskamp
<>< Katie
Scott: My wife told me we're going baby shopping this afternoon.
Bob: Didn't you already buy one of those?
Scott: Two. We bought two.
Bob: Make sure you save the receipt.
Dawn: Were they on sale?
Katie: Two for the price of one?
Bob: He's an extreme couponer!
Christina: Lady Gaga is a singer.
Dad: Lady Gaga is a nightmare.
Linnea: If my baby is born with a beard, we're switching it in the hospital!
Random Man to Son: You were crying in your apple juice. Do you know why you were crying in your apple juice? Because you don't like apple juice.
David: Book! [meaning Writer's Notebook where I keep Wacky Wednesday quotes]
Jocelyn: I like your boob! [She meant book]
David: Book!
Christina: What does the guy from "Sister Wives" put on facebook [for his relationship status]?
Katie: Shaun Groves just Tweeted, "Googling the lyrics to my own dadgum song."
Christina: Who's Lulu?
Katie: What?
Christina: Lulu liked his song? Who's Lulu?
Brent [To some giggly high school girls at a Peder Eide concert]: Go bug Peder. Seriously. It'll take some pressure off of Katie.
[Reading the monthly cell phone bill over dinner]
Dad: Someone spent three dollars downloading a video.
Mom: Wait a second, let me see that, that three dollars was the [Dad's number] guy.
Dad: Oops.
Katie: So what I'm hearing is that Laura's a minutes hog, Mom only texts Christina, Dad buys three dollar videos, and Katie wins with the least usage of everything.
Mom: Yeah, whatever.
Katie: Whatever? I haven't gotten a text message in three days.
Mom: That's because your inbox is full. You need a new phone.
"No matter what this world does, you're valuable. The Lord gives you help for the hurt and hope for the future." - Bob Lenz
[Taking a photo]
Katie: One, two, four.
Peder: Miss Katie, we need to work on your counting.
Katie: I was an English major.
[After I'd been on the phone for twenty minutes]
Grandma: I'm glad she took sign language in college!
[Putting my number in his phone]
Mark: L-A-U-R-A
Katie: Um... I spell my name with a K.
Mom: Here, wear this step stool!
Sparkle the cat: I just did. Why do I have to wear it again?
Laura: Katie! You'll be so proud of me! I played The Alphabet Game yesterday and WON! TWICE!
Katie: Was the other person driving?
Laura: There was no other person.
"Thank You that even in the wilderness You are Emmanuel--God with us." -Tracy
[On facebook]
Andy [to Elizabeth]: I love you!
Katie: I love you, too!
Andy: I think you misspelled two, Katie.
Katie: No, I only love you; not Elizabeth.
Andy: lol I completely saw that going the opposite direction! I love you too, Katie. And so does Elizabeth!
Katie: Success! I love you two and miss you, too!
Bob: Don't complain about being dress size one when I'm a sixteen!
Christina: How was Oscar's [the cat] surprise attack?
Mom: Well, the doctor cut off my wart today.
[Catch Phrase]
Linnea: The continent that--
Katie: Alaska!
Katie: With as little as I listen to the radio, when I know all the words to a song, it's overplayed.
[Laura burst out laughing]
Katie: Um... I didn't think what I said was that funny.
Laura: It wasn't! That... that bar we just... passed... had a... had a toilet... on the front porch!
Mark: I can walk and chew gum at the same time!
[via text]
Katie: I am at the coffee shop actually being productive on a Saturday for once!
Amber: Good for you
Katie: It's because you're not here.
Amber: Haha
Katie: But I am lonely.
Amber: That's why you're actually getting work done.
Jocelyn: They danced funnily.
Katie: Look at how these pants sit on me. If I didn't have my hips right here, they'd just fall right off. If something happened to my hips, I'd never be able to wear pants again... without suspenders.
Greg: We're going to catch a deer then put it in the back of the van and take it to the vet to kill it humanely.
[Mark was walking out of church with three empty cups]
Katie: Were you a little thirsty?
Mark: Yeah. Dehydrated.
Katie: You're going to have to go to the little boys' room.
Mark: No, I already--
Katie: You already went? In church?!
Mark: No. I'm wearing a diaper. [Beat] And you sat next to me. Does that make you uncomfortable?
Mom: Lies!
Laura: I wouldn't lie to you! You're my momma!
Katie: All the more reason to lie to her!
[At small group]
Dustin: No talking about Jesus! It's not allowed.
Katie: I'm not going to be able to come anymore.
Dustin: Wait, what? Why can't you come anymore?!
Katie: Because we can't talk about Jesus.
Dustin: Oh, ok.
Mom: Come here. And don't get excited because I'm asking you to follow me upstairs.
[Dad's face fell]
Mom: The balance ball is NOT a horizontal surface!
Charlie: I have this friend. I don't know if he's alive. I've been checking the obituaries but I haven't found him, so I'm going to call him. I figure if he picks up, that's a good sign.
Lauren: It's the same storyline just with different characters.
David: Twilight?
Drew: No, those are the same characters.
Katie: This shirt kind of makes me look fat.
Mom: Good! Wear it every day!
Hygienist: Do you floss?
Katie: Yes. Not like I should but yes. Especially after I eat popcorn.
Hygienist: Ok, every day at 3:00 you have to eat popcorn.
Katie: That I can do!
"Praise, not perfection. He wants my praise not my perfection." - Ann Voskamp
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: The following come from real conversations. They are the crazy, funny, or profound things heard in everyday, sober conversation or discovered in a book. If you ever hear a great/weird conversation, please feel free to send it to me. Who knows, it may be featured in a Wacky Wednesday! <>< Katie
Katie: I'm going to write that down for Wacky Wednesday.
Jennifer: No! You have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is Wednesday.
Katie: No, no, no Wacky Wednesday is only the first Wednesday of the month.
Jennifer: Well, tomorrow is the first Wednesday of the month you've been with me!
Allyson: I don't know why "bewares" camed out.
Dad: Do you need any help with anything before I go to bed?
Uncle Bill: You could brush my teeth for me or take out my contacts. I'll just lay there.
Dad: I'm going to hurt you in the morning.
Katie: What's the weather like outside?
Elizabeth: It's like medium.
Mom: Ooooh! Do these stoplights tweet like the ones in Baptist Country? Oh, no, those are real birds.
Katie: You've got candy all over your face.
Amy: Your face is candy!
Alex: You have to assert your manhood.
Jennifer: I don't have any manhood to search.
Dad: Do you growl at them sometimes?
Laura: [Sheepishly] Yeah. [Proudly] I even bark at them sometimes!
Laura: The capital of Honduras is To-gucci-golf-ball.
"I don't think I'm a failure because I have had fears, and I certainly don't think that it is a requirement for Christians to forgo fear in order to be good followers of Christ. I believe fear is the natural response to the question satan whispered, and I find that every day I have to adjust my footing consciously to move toward Jesus." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 4
Sara: You [Katie] only have good ideas today. And on Wacky Wednesday.
Alex: Katie, what would you say are Jennifer's top three qualities?
Jennifer: You can't just limit it to three; I have so many. Humility is one of them.
[SC, 16, counting on her fingers]
Katie: Do you need me to take off my shoes?
SC: Huh?
[explained]
SC: But why did she make it sound like an insult?
Girl, 13: There are no cows here, so--!
Amy: What is that?
Katie: It's a flower on the top of the mountain. It was my attempt at being artsy. Apparently I'm not as good as Allyson.
Amy: No, I like it. I was just... confused.
Boy, 11: You can stay here and you won't even have to fold laundry!
Jennifer: I like your ring. Who made it for you? [She had]
Katie: I don't know. Some stranger.
Jennifer: Stranger than who?
Katie: Allyson.
Allyson: What?
Allyson: Wait! Was this morning Wednesday?
"The world is not going to teach us how to love God; only God can do that." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 43
David: The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.
Rebekah: That's what little girls are made of!
Jennifer: My right foot writes well.
Carson: I don't really understand why girls like making their heads look like horse butts.
Girls: What?!
Carson: Ponytails. Where is a pony's tail? The butt.
Mother: We could cage him [the dog].
Son: We could cage Brother.
Rebekah: Like you licking Nikki?
Katie: NO!!
Rebekah: Sorry, Nikki licking you?
Mark: You [Katie] take the left over brownies. They'll look better on you than they will one me.
Katie: Ok, I'm going to leave it blank.
Alex: Go to the bank.
Jennifer: Why are you going to the bank?! It's 11pm. They're closed.
Katie: I have helicopter parents: they hover but they don't choke.
Allyson: I don't think we were acting too strange.
Katie: We were pretty normal for us but strange for most people.
Allyson [light bulb]: That was it!
Nikki: MW did it, and if he can do it then so can I, maybe even teach at a better university.
Katie: Woah, woah, woah! First, did you just compare yourself to All Star English Major MW? Second, did you just dis our alma mater?
"Faith for my deliverance is not faith in God. Faith means, whether I am visibly delivered or not, I will stick to my belief that God is love. There are some things only learned from a fiery furnace." - Oswald Chambers in Run Today's Race
Allyson: Are you going to get your haircut?
Jennifer: I don't know where.
Allyson: Tah-tay-tow?
Neal: Are you blogging?
Katie: Are you making fun of me?
Neal: I don't make fun of people.
Katie: Neither do I.
Neal: You're not sarcastic either.
Sarah: He's not Slut Bucket; he's Garret the Ferret.
Rebekah: He's not a rodent!
Sarah: He's more of a rodent than a slut.
Garret: Hey, now!
Allyson: Katie's just so cool. She has good body language, too, and her thinking is so... inter... intermaculate. It's real cool. And, Katie, I like her walk.
"We don't just want to get them out of the dumpsite; we want to get the dumpsite out of their hearts." - Tania Meza
Katie: I'm going to write that down for Wacky Wednesday.
Jennifer: No! You have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is Wednesday.
Katie: No, no, no Wacky Wednesday is only the first Wednesday of the month.
Jennifer: Well, tomorrow is the first Wednesday of the month you've been with me!
Allyson: I don't know why "bewares" camed out.
Dad: Do you need any help with anything before I go to bed?
Uncle Bill: You could brush my teeth for me or take out my contacts. I'll just lay there.
Dad: I'm going to hurt you in the morning.
Katie: What's the weather like outside?
Elizabeth: It's like medium.
Mom: Ooooh! Do these stoplights tweet like the ones in Baptist Country? Oh, no, those are real birds.
Katie: You've got candy all over your face.
Amy: Your face is candy!
Alex: You have to assert your manhood.
Jennifer: I don't have any manhood to search.
Dad: Do you growl at them sometimes?
Laura: [Sheepishly] Yeah. [Proudly] I even bark at them sometimes!
Laura: The capital of Honduras is To-gucci-golf-ball.
"I don't think I'm a failure because I have had fears, and I certainly don't think that it is a requirement for Christians to forgo fear in order to be good followers of Christ. I believe fear is the natural response to the question satan whispered, and I find that every day I have to adjust my footing consciously to move toward Jesus." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 4
Sara: You [Katie] only have good ideas today. And on Wacky Wednesday.
Alex: Katie, what would you say are Jennifer's top three qualities?
Jennifer: You can't just limit it to three; I have so many. Humility is one of them.
[SC, 16, counting on her fingers]
Katie: Do you need me to take off my shoes?
SC: Huh?
[explained]
SC: But why did she make it sound like an insult?
Girl, 13: There are no cows here, so--!
Amy: What is that?
Katie: It's a flower on the top of the mountain. It was my attempt at being artsy. Apparently I'm not as good as Allyson.
Amy: No, I like it. I was just... confused.
Boy, 11: You can stay here and you won't even have to fold laundry!
Jennifer: I like your ring. Who made it for you? [She had]
Katie: I don't know. Some stranger.
Jennifer: Stranger than who?
Katie: Allyson.
Allyson: What?
Allyson: Wait! Was this morning Wednesday?
"The world is not going to teach us how to love God; only God can do that." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 43
David: The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.
Rebekah: That's what little girls are made of!
Jennifer: My right foot writes well.
Carson: I don't really understand why girls like making their heads look like horse butts.
Girls: What?!
Carson: Ponytails. Where is a pony's tail? The butt.
Mother: We could cage him [the dog].
Son: We could cage Brother.
Rebekah: Like you licking Nikki?
Katie: NO!!
Rebekah: Sorry, Nikki licking you?
Mark: You [Katie] take the left over brownies. They'll look better on you than they will one me.
Katie: Ok, I'm going to leave it blank.
Alex: Go to the bank.
Jennifer: Why are you going to the bank?! It's 11pm. They're closed.
Katie: I have helicopter parents: they hover but they don't choke.
Allyson: I don't think we were acting too strange.
Katie: We were pretty normal for us but strange for most people.
Allyson [light bulb]: That was it!
Nikki: MW did it, and if he can do it then so can I, maybe even teach at a better university.
Katie: Woah, woah, woah! First, did you just compare yourself to All Star English Major MW? Second, did you just dis our alma mater?
"Faith for my deliverance is not faith in God. Faith means, whether I am visibly delivered or not, I will stick to my belief that God is love. There are some things only learned from a fiery furnace." - Oswald Chambers in Run Today's Race
Allyson: Are you going to get your haircut?
Jennifer: I don't know where.
Allyson: Tah-tay-tow?
Neal: Are you blogging?
Katie: Are you making fun of me?
Neal: I don't make fun of people.
Katie: Neither do I.
Neal: You're not sarcastic either.
Sarah: He's not Slut Bucket; he's Garret the Ferret.
Rebekah: He's not a rodent!
Sarah: He's more of a rodent than a slut.
Garret: Hey, now!
Allyson: Katie's just so cool. She has good body language, too, and her thinking is so... inter... intermaculate. It's real cool. And, Katie, I like her walk.
"We don't just want to get them out of the dumpsite; we want to get the dumpsite out of their hearts." - Tania Meza
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: Welcome to Wacky Wednesday! This post is a complication of ridiculous and profound statements made in everyday conversation or literature. We all say stupid stuff. Some of us more than others. Laugh, smile, be challenged. <>< Katie
"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 33
Mom: If your right turn signal is on, your vehicle should not be veering to the left. Thought I'd bring that to your attention.
"In China, Christians are persecuted with beatings and imprisonment. In the West, Christians are persecuted by the words of other Christians." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 309
Amber: When are you due?
Bridget: Four months ago.
Amber: No, when is your baby coming?
Laura: It's a good thing I can't form sentences in my brain because otherwise I'd be a really mean person.
"God really is in the business of blessing His people in unusual ways so His goodness and His greatness will be declared among all peoples." - David Platt, Radical, 67
Kevin [20s]: I'm an old man. I have some gray hair.
Elizabeth: It's time to get a box.
[Awkward pause]
Elizabeth: Of hair dye.
Kevin: Don't lie, you meant a pine box!
"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is no there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis
Mom: You put the pregnant fish in the maternity ward and when the babies are born they're sucked up and shot into the fishy nursery.
Katie: As if being born isn't traumatic enough!
Jori [To me]: Oh, ye, writer person!
[1am]
Laura: Wait, you're not even in the bed anymore, you doofus!
"We learned a lesson that morning. When we arrive at the end of our own strength it is not defeat but the start of tapping into God's boundless resources. It is when we are weak that we are strong in God." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 194
Mom: Fat!
Katie [fake surprise, panic, excitement]: Where?!
Elizabeth: You know, Katie, I was the first person on University's campus to ever lick you. I take full credit for that.
"Joy is God and God is joy and joy doesn't negate all other emotions--joy transcends all other emotions." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 176
Mary Beth: You know how there's always that one annoying cousin?
Katie: I only have three cousins. My dad is that annoying cousin.
Laura: I love old people! This one time this old person did something and it made me laugh
Katie: Great story.
"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us." - James H. McConkey, Life Talks, 103 (qtd. Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138)
Waitress: What size to go box?
Melia: The little one works.
Waitress: That's what she said.
"But the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138
Professor: For Jesus?
Student: Yeah! We go everywhere for Jesus!
Professor: Alright!
"I hunger and thirst for filling in a world that is starved." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 17
Laura: Sometimes I know I'm saying stupid stuff, but I just keep saying it. It's funnier that way.
Juanita: Vernon! Don't lick my curtains!
Vernon: I wasn't licking them; I was biting them.
"Ultimately, I don't want to miss eternal treasure because I settle for earthly trinkets." - David Platt, Radical, 138
Katie: I don't really use the term "Best friend" because basically if you went to University with me, you're my best friend.
"Having God on our side doesn't mean sailing a boat with no storms; it means sailing a boat no storm can sink." - Unknown
Katie: No, you don't touch the scissors again until I give you further instructions.
Jori: My TA is getting cheeky.
Katie: I'm the brain!
Mom: My fish are eating the cats!
"Anger is the lid that suffocates joy until she lies limp and lifeless." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 177
Jori: If "biceps" were with an "s" it'd be "bis-eps.
Mike: Maybe that's what I have.
GPS: Recalculating.
Mom: Oh for heaven sakes! We're just going to McDonald's to pee; you don't have to recalculate!
"But what if we don't need to sit back and wait for a call to foreign missions? What if the very reason we have breath is because we have been saved for a global mission? And what if anything less than passionate involvement in global missions is actually selling God short by frustrating the very purpose for which He created us?" - David Platt, Radical, 75
Michael Tait: Everyone who loves the Lord, shake your bonbons!
Katie: You ok, Dad?
Dad: No. Mom sent half of the water from that faucet up my nose!
"He always enjoyed seeing the happiness that the travelers experienced when, after weeks of yellow sand and blue sky, they first saw the green of the date palms. Maybe God created the desert so that man could appreciate the date trees, he thought." - The Alchemist, 87
Christina: Katie, will you babysit for this kid to show him how nice I really am?
Mom: Good night, Mary Ellen.
Katie: Good night, Jim Bob.
Laura: Good night, Laura.
Mom: Why are you saying goodnight to yourself? That doesn't work!
Laura: Oh, good night, Suzy.
Mom: No, no, no.
Laura: What? I thought we were just saying good night to people who aren't here.
"Whether it is your family, the government, the religious establishment, or someone else, you will be hated." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Girl [age 14]: This is the first water balloon I've ever tied myself. I'm going to save it and put it in my scrapbook!
Jori: We could do that.
Katie: Ok, let's do it. Right here on your bed.
["It" was really make peanut brittle]
Katie: I don't want a Tetanus shot.
Christina: Wait! Are we talking doctor shot or alcohol shot?
Mom: I'm pretty sure there's no alcohol named "Tetanus."
Nurse: You've had so many shots they're blinding me!
"You're not doing the youth ministry until your youth are doing the ministry." - LCMS, Missouri District
Katie: It's a dove, not a kite. You can't tied a string to your dove.
Jori: Ok, I will not leave you.
Katie and Jori: Or forsake you!
"I learned we should never beat the sheep, but [we] must feed them if we want them to follow." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 174
Katie: He's on his way home. By "he" I mean Dad.
Mom: I figured Dad was the "he" since he's the only "he" who calls you.
[in China]
Jeremy: Pancakes are just like noodles except not noodles!
"Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be sin." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: I have a Peder CD we could listen to.
Laura: I'm petered out.
Katie: You aren't allowed in there.
Christina: Meh, rules are for sissies.
Katie: Yes, they are, and since you're my sissy you should get out.
"Prayer without ceasing is only possible in a life of continual thanks." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 60
Dad: I'm going to put on a different shirt.
[He wasn't wearing a shirt]
Emily: Sorry, I guess I just get distracted when my clothes come off.
"Again, we don't think like this: 'If we would all just become like Jesus, the wold would really love us,' he say. The reality is that if we really become like Jesus, the world will hate us. Why? Because the world hated Him." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Katie [Fingerspelled]: Adrenaline.
Amber [Voiced]: I saw koalas.
Katie [Signed]: No, adrenaline. You know, the drug.
Amber [Voiced]: The letter C? I got nothin'!
"I've got to get this thing; what it means to trust, to gut-believe in the good touch of God toward me because it's true: I can't fill with joy until I learn how to trust: 'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow' (Romans 15:13 NIV). The full life, the own spilling joy and peace, happens only as I come to trust the caress of the Lover, Lover who never burdens His children with shame or self-condemnation but keeps stroking the fears with gentle grace." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall?
Mom: No, forty-nine bottles of wine in the hall.
[Chinese people in China]
Sara: In America, this is a very good price.
Jim: In China, I get it for less.
Sara: Then maybe you should go back to China and buy it there.
"He [Jesus] was calling them [the disciples] to abandon their careers. They were reorienting their entire life's work around discipleship of Jesus. Their plans and dreams were now swallowed up in His." - David Platt, Radical, 7
Jori: It flew from my peach!
Katie: I'd rather shoot myself in the face.
Dad: You'd rather ship yourself to Spain?
"Everything in all creation responds in obedience to the Creator... until we get to you and me. We have the audacity to look God in the face and say, 'No.'" - David Platt, Radical, 31
[Over the phone]
Neal: While we were praying it started raining here. Just shows it rains on the righteous and the unrighteous. Me being the latter.
Katie: It's not raining here.
Neal: Does that mean you're in limbo?
Katie: I'm luke-warm, dang it!
Curt: I'm teaching [the topic] strangers, then if I have more time, I'll teach friends, then if I have more time, I'll teach Vernon.
Amber: Katie, your dad is ridiculious. He gets away with things that no other human being would ever get away with.
"In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him. In the process He powerfully demonstrates His ability to prove everything His people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined." - David Platt, Radical, 47
"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 33
Mom: If your right turn signal is on, your vehicle should not be veering to the left. Thought I'd bring that to your attention.
"In China, Christians are persecuted with beatings and imprisonment. In the West, Christians are persecuted by the words of other Christians." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 309
Amber: When are you due?
Bridget: Four months ago.
Amber: No, when is your baby coming?
Laura: It's a good thing I can't form sentences in my brain because otherwise I'd be a really mean person.
"God really is in the business of blessing His people in unusual ways so His goodness and His greatness will be declared among all peoples." - David Platt, Radical, 67
Kevin [20s]: I'm an old man. I have some gray hair.
Elizabeth: It's time to get a box.
[Awkward pause]
Elizabeth: Of hair dye.
Kevin: Don't lie, you meant a pine box!
"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is no there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis
Mom: You put the pregnant fish in the maternity ward and when the babies are born they're sucked up and shot into the fishy nursery.
Katie: As if being born isn't traumatic enough!
Jori [To me]: Oh, ye, writer person!
[1am]
Laura: Wait, you're not even in the bed anymore, you doofus!
"We learned a lesson that morning. When we arrive at the end of our own strength it is not defeat but the start of tapping into God's boundless resources. It is when we are weak that we are strong in God." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 194
Mom: Fat!
Katie [fake surprise, panic, excitement]: Where?!
Elizabeth: You know, Katie, I was the first person on University's campus to ever lick you. I take full credit for that.
"Joy is God and God is joy and joy doesn't negate all other emotions--joy transcends all other emotions." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 176
Mary Beth: You know how there's always that one annoying cousin?
Katie: I only have three cousins. My dad is that annoying cousin.
Laura: I love old people! This one time this old person did something and it made me laugh
Katie: Great story.
"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us." - James H. McConkey, Life Talks, 103 (qtd. Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138)
Waitress: What size to go box?
Melia: The little one works.
Waitress: That's what she said.
"But the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138
Professor: For Jesus?
Student: Yeah! We go everywhere for Jesus!
Professor: Alright!
"I hunger and thirst for filling in a world that is starved." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 17
Laura: Sometimes I know I'm saying stupid stuff, but I just keep saying it. It's funnier that way.
Juanita: Vernon! Don't lick my curtains!
Vernon: I wasn't licking them; I was biting them.
"Ultimately, I don't want to miss eternal treasure because I settle for earthly trinkets." - David Platt, Radical, 138
Katie: I don't really use the term "Best friend" because basically if you went to University with me, you're my best friend.
"Having God on our side doesn't mean sailing a boat with no storms; it means sailing a boat no storm can sink." - Unknown
Katie: No, you don't touch the scissors again until I give you further instructions.
Jori: My TA is getting cheeky.
Katie: I'm the brain!
Mom: My fish are eating the cats!
"Anger is the lid that suffocates joy until she lies limp and lifeless." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 177
Jori: If "biceps" were with an "s" it'd be "bis-eps.
Mike: Maybe that's what I have.
GPS: Recalculating.
Mom: Oh for heaven sakes! We're just going to McDonald's to pee; you don't have to recalculate!
"But what if we don't need to sit back and wait for a call to foreign missions? What if the very reason we have breath is because we have been saved for a global mission? And what if anything less than passionate involvement in global missions is actually selling God short by frustrating the very purpose for which He created us?" - David Platt, Radical, 75
Michael Tait: Everyone who loves the Lord, shake your bonbons!
Katie: You ok, Dad?
Dad: No. Mom sent half of the water from that faucet up my nose!
"He always enjoyed seeing the happiness that the travelers experienced when, after weeks of yellow sand and blue sky, they first saw the green of the date palms. Maybe God created the desert so that man could appreciate the date trees, he thought." - The Alchemist, 87
Christina: Katie, will you babysit for this kid to show him how nice I really am?
Mom: Good night, Mary Ellen.
Katie: Good night, Jim Bob.
Laura: Good night, Laura.
Mom: Why are you saying goodnight to yourself? That doesn't work!
Laura: Oh, good night, Suzy.
Mom: No, no, no.
Laura: What? I thought we were just saying good night to people who aren't here.
"Whether it is your family, the government, the religious establishment, or someone else, you will be hated." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Girl [age 14]: This is the first water balloon I've ever tied myself. I'm going to save it and put it in my scrapbook!
Jori: We could do that.
Katie: Ok, let's do it. Right here on your bed.
["It" was really make peanut brittle]
Katie: I don't want a Tetanus shot.
Christina: Wait! Are we talking doctor shot or alcohol shot?
Mom: I'm pretty sure there's no alcohol named "Tetanus."
Nurse: You've had so many shots they're blinding me!
"You're not doing the youth ministry until your youth are doing the ministry." - LCMS, Missouri District
Katie: It's a dove, not a kite. You can't tied a string to your dove.
Jori: Ok, I will not leave you.
Katie and Jori: Or forsake you!
"I learned we should never beat the sheep, but [we] must feed them if we want them to follow." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 174
Katie: He's on his way home. By "he" I mean Dad.
Mom: I figured Dad was the "he" since he's the only "he" who calls you.
[in China]
Jeremy: Pancakes are just like noodles except not noodles!
"Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be sin." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: I have a Peder CD we could listen to.
Laura: I'm petered out.
Katie: You aren't allowed in there.
Christina: Meh, rules are for sissies.
Katie: Yes, they are, and since you're my sissy you should get out.
"Prayer without ceasing is only possible in a life of continual thanks." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 60
Dad: I'm going to put on a different shirt.
[He wasn't wearing a shirt]
Emily: Sorry, I guess I just get distracted when my clothes come off.
"Again, we don't think like this: 'If we would all just become like Jesus, the wold would really love us,' he say. The reality is that if we really become like Jesus, the world will hate us. Why? Because the world hated Him." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Katie [Fingerspelled]: Adrenaline.
Amber [Voiced]: I saw koalas.
Katie [Signed]: No, adrenaline. You know, the drug.
Amber [Voiced]: The letter C? I got nothin'!
"I've got to get this thing; what it means to trust, to gut-believe in the good touch of God toward me because it's true: I can't fill with joy until I learn how to trust: 'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow' (Romans 15:13 NIV). The full life, the own spilling joy and peace, happens only as I come to trust the caress of the Lover, Lover who never burdens His children with shame or self-condemnation but keeps stroking the fears with gentle grace." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall?
Mom: No, forty-nine bottles of wine in the hall.
[Chinese people in China]
Sara: In America, this is a very good price.
Jim: In China, I get it for less.
Sara: Then maybe you should go back to China and buy it there.
"He [Jesus] was calling them [the disciples] to abandon their careers. They were reorienting their entire life's work around discipleship of Jesus. Their plans and dreams were now swallowed up in His." - David Platt, Radical, 7
Jori: It flew from my peach!
Katie: I'd rather shoot myself in the face.
Dad: You'd rather ship yourself to Spain?
"Everything in all creation responds in obedience to the Creator... until we get to you and me. We have the audacity to look God in the face and say, 'No.'" - David Platt, Radical, 31
[Over the phone]
Neal: While we were praying it started raining here. Just shows it rains on the righteous and the unrighteous. Me being the latter.
Katie: It's not raining here.
Neal: Does that mean you're in limbo?
Katie: I'm luke-warm, dang it!
Curt: I'm teaching [the topic] strangers, then if I have more time, I'll teach friends, then if I have more time, I'll teach Vernon.
Amber: Katie, your dad is ridiculious. He gets away with things that no other human being would ever get away with.
"In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him. In the process He powerfully demonstrates His ability to prove everything His people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined." - David Platt, Radical, 47
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
The following of a collection of profound or ridiculous things heard in normal conversation (unless otherwise marked). <>< Katie
Katie: Don't lick her foot.
Laura [The her]: I feel breath on my toes!
"God is not someone who can be tacked on in our lives." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 96
Mom: What's your plan for tomorrow?
Katie [Sarcastically]: Let me check my calendar. Oh, look: it's blank.
Mom: Does that mean you have nothing going on tomorrow?
Katie: That's what a blank calendar means.
Mom: Not Dad's!
"That night I learned that God sees no barriers, even when I do. God is ready to use me. And when I focus on God instead of my mountain, He channels through me His grace and His power." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 81
Andy: Can I get a to-go box?
Elizabeth: Can I get a to-go cup?
Allyson: Can I get a to-go fork?
Laura: I feel old: I get to sign for mail.
Katie: Oh! It's probably my passport and China Visa.
Christina: It says refrigerate after opening.
Katie: It's probably not my passport.
Katie: I blogged.
Mom: How can you blog? It's Sunday.
Katie: I can blog whatever day I want!
"To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer." - Martin Luther
"Adoration is foreign to most people, and you will probably feel clumsy when you first try it. As with anything you take up--a new sport, a new computer program, a new job--you have to stretch yourself and work at it to do well." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 67
Katie: Ultimate flour sock.
Laura: What's that? You shove a sock in your flower? Wait.
Dad: Have you... gone potty?
Adam: Can I get a fourth of a cup of lemonade? Do you know what that means? If I have a 400-page book, I want 100 pages read.
Katie: Oh, I got it! By why wouldn't you want to read the other 300 pages?
Adam: I'm saving them for later.
Katie: What is this all about? I haven't been to church yet.
Pastor Russ: You haven't been to church yet?! Didn't you used to go to like three services? If you commit to praying for the high school ministry once a week, you get to paint a tile.
Katie: I have to pray? Once a week?!
Bob: You used to be like [high-pitched voice] "Yeah! I love to pray!"
Mom: We have a giant rabbit in our car. No, parking lot. No. We have a giant rabbit in our yard.
Katie: What was the ridiculous thing you said earlier that I didn't write now?
Mom: Nothing! Everything I say is incredibly intelligent!
Evan: Are you ready to walk and not faint?
Katie: Yeah, and run and not get weary, too!
Allyson: I'm glad you got that because I definitely didn't.
[See Isaiah 43:30-31]
Katie: In Chinese the days of the week are a number and then the word 'day.' Like Monday is one-day.
Mom: So Tuesday is Two-day? [Laughing]
Katie: Yes, today is Two-day Tuesday.
Katie: What time is it?
Elizabeth: It's 11:99.
"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 104
David: You never know with Rebekah. You turn around and she's throwing your five year old dreams out the window!
Katie: What did you lose in my computer?
Mom: I lost nothing; I found my jammies in your computer!
[Facebook conversation]
Katie: Was I the only one who wanted to stand up and dance during "Our God" at church this morning?
April: Why didn't you? I do. Maybe even sign a little!
Katie: When we were finally invited to sing I did clap my hands and move a little... but only a little. It is Lutheran church.
Brit: Katie, you heard this morning: we're liberal in practice but conservative in doctrine. I believe hand-clapping falls under practice.
Katie: What about dancing? Is that law or gospel?
"God is a worker who completes His works. Where is there an instance of God's beginning any work and leaving it incomplete? Show me once a world abandoned and thrown aside half-formed; show me a universe cast off from the Great Potter's wheel, with the design in outline, the clay half-hardened, and the form unshapely from incompleteness." - Charles Spurgeon
[Driving through a storm behind an airplane on a truck bed.]
Andy: That's why they're driving. If they were flying I wonder if the plane would drag the truck behind it, too.
Dad: I didn't understand why you were yelling at the dog.
Katie: I wasn't yelling at the dog. I was yelling at you.
Dad: Same thing.
Katie: Laura has a monopoly on all of the friends. [Beat] Laura, what are you doing? You're weird. [Beat] How do you have all of the friends?
Mom: She's less weird than you are!
[Telephone Pictionary]
Girl, age 14: Is "sexy" a bad word? I'll just use bodacious. How do you spell bodacious?
[The sentence] A bodacious angel wearing tight pants.
Katie: I'm trying not to sound like a dork in this email to Dr. T, and it's not working.
Elizabeth: Katie, it's Dr. T; he already knows you're a dork.
[Dad misbooked
Dad: Well, this is the dumbest, most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
Christina: No, it's not. Remember that time you double-booked Katie on the airplane so she had to sit next to herself?
Katie: Or the time you knocked over the full luggage cart in the parking lot?
"You cannot be everything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be." - Max Lucado
Katie: What's your favorite ice cream?
Boy, age 4: Tomato.
Katie: Tomato? I've never had tomato ice cream.
Boy: NOOO! Cookie dough!
[Bananagrams]
Mom: I wish I had a W to make dwarf. No, I wish I had a D; I have four Ws.
Katie: VBS does a great job of reminding me that I love children but I made the right choice not to go into education.
Laura: Oh. I'm the opposite.
Katie: You hate children and you're glad you're going into education?
Jackie, age 14: We need to all save up our money to buy a house and that way when you all die it can be mine.
Grandpa: What was that noise?
Katie: My fault. I pushed against the table to push my chair back, but apparently I'm heavier than the table.
Mom: First time in her life!
Christina: For my CNA stuff it says I have to be able to lift 50 pounds. How much is 50 pounds? Daddy, come here!
Dad: I weigh more than 50 pounds!
Christina: Ok, Katie, come here!
Katie: I weigh more than 50 pounds, too!
Christina: Fifty-two is close enough.
Mom: Katie! Dad's new scale is busted! It told me I weigh 300 pounds!
Katie: Let me try it. How does it work?
Mom: It doesn't.
Katie: It told me I weigh zero pounds.
Mom: You can have some of mine.
"[B]eing on a God-guided adventure truly is living life on another level than merely competing for wealth and achievement and prizes and toys of this work." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 173
Christian: But I believe in the Trinity!
Melissa: And Pastor Russ doesn't?
Uncle Jay: I'm the alien bringing the hay!
Auntie Gwennie: Are you practicing your Cantonese or your Mandarin?
Katie: My Mandarin.
Auntie Gwennie: Bok choy!
Mom: No, that's a vegetable.
Christina: Look! The moon!
Katie: I don't want to see anyone's moon!
Christina: God's showing us His moon.
Mom: Stop using my arm as a drumstick!
"Prayer is a way to turn dry theological descriptions into warm, living, personal realities. When we live in constant communication with God, our needs are met, our faith increases, and our love expands." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 166
Mom: Do you want milk?
Uncle Bill: No, we have red milk. [wine]
Auntie Gwennie: "Open away from face." What the--? It's a coffee filter, for crying out loud!
Christina: What's she getting?
Joe: I'm a he!
Uncle Bill: I strike on Fourth Street.
Katie: Good thing there are only three streets in cribbage.
"The point of your life is to point to Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 44
Katie: Don't lick her foot.
Laura [The her]: I feel breath on my toes!
"God is not someone who can be tacked on in our lives." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 96
Mom: What's your plan for tomorrow?
Katie [Sarcastically]: Let me check my calendar. Oh, look: it's blank.
Mom: Does that mean you have nothing going on tomorrow?
Katie: That's what a blank calendar means.
Mom: Not Dad's!
"That night I learned that God sees no barriers, even when I do. God is ready to use me. And when I focus on God instead of my mountain, He channels through me His grace and His power." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 81
Andy: Can I get a to-go box?
Elizabeth: Can I get a to-go cup?
Allyson: Can I get a to-go fork?
Laura: I feel old: I get to sign for mail.
Katie: Oh! It's probably my passport and China Visa.
Christina: It says refrigerate after opening.
Katie: It's probably not my passport.
Katie: I blogged.
Mom: How can you blog? It's Sunday.
Katie: I can blog whatever day I want!
"To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer." - Martin Luther
"Adoration is foreign to most people, and you will probably feel clumsy when you first try it. As with anything you take up--a new sport, a new computer program, a new job--you have to stretch yourself and work at it to do well." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 67
Katie: Ultimate flour sock.
Laura: What's that? You shove a sock in your flower? Wait.
Dad: Have you... gone potty?
Adam: Can I get a fourth of a cup of lemonade? Do you know what that means? If I have a 400-page book, I want 100 pages read.
Katie: Oh, I got it! By why wouldn't you want to read the other 300 pages?
Adam: I'm saving them for later.
Katie: What is this all about? I haven't been to church yet.
Pastor Russ: You haven't been to church yet?! Didn't you used to go to like three services? If you commit to praying for the high school ministry once a week, you get to paint a tile.
Katie: I have to pray? Once a week?!
Bob: You used to be like [high-pitched voice] "Yeah! I love to pray!"
Mom: We have a giant rabbit in our car. No, parking lot. No. We have a giant rabbit in our yard.
Katie: What was the ridiculous thing you said earlier that I didn't write now?
Mom: Nothing! Everything I say is incredibly intelligent!
Evan: Are you ready to walk and not faint?
Katie: Yeah, and run and not get weary, too!
Allyson: I'm glad you got that because I definitely didn't.
[See Isaiah 43:30-31]
Katie: In Chinese the days of the week are a number and then the word 'day.' Like Monday is one-day.
Mom: So Tuesday is Two-day? [Laughing]
Katie: Yes, today is Two-day Tuesday.
Katie: What time is it?
Elizabeth: It's 11:99.
"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 104
David: You never know with Rebekah. You turn around and she's throwing your five year old dreams out the window!
Katie: What did you lose in my computer?
Mom: I lost nothing; I found my jammies in your computer!
[Facebook conversation]
Katie: Was I the only one who wanted to stand up and dance during "Our God" at church this morning?
April: Why didn't you? I do. Maybe even sign a little!
Katie: When we were finally invited to sing I did clap my hands and move a little... but only a little. It is Lutheran church.
Brit: Katie, you heard this morning: we're liberal in practice but conservative in doctrine. I believe hand-clapping falls under practice.
Katie: What about dancing? Is that law or gospel?
"God is a worker who completes His works. Where is there an instance of God's beginning any work and leaving it incomplete? Show me once a world abandoned and thrown aside half-formed; show me a universe cast off from the Great Potter's wheel, with the design in outline, the clay half-hardened, and the form unshapely from incompleteness." - Charles Spurgeon
[Driving through a storm behind an airplane on a truck bed.]
Andy: That's why they're driving. If they were flying I wonder if the plane would drag the truck behind it, too.
Dad: I didn't understand why you were yelling at the dog.
Katie: I wasn't yelling at the dog. I was yelling at you.
Dad: Same thing.
Katie: Laura has a monopoly on all of the friends. [Beat] Laura, what are you doing? You're weird. [Beat] How do you have all of the friends?
Mom: She's less weird than you are!
[Telephone Pictionary]
Girl, age 14: Is "sexy" a bad word? I'll just use bodacious. How do you spell bodacious?
[The sentence] A bodacious angel wearing tight pants.
Katie: I'm trying not to sound like a dork in this email to Dr. T, and it's not working.
Elizabeth: Katie, it's Dr. T; he already knows you're a dork.
[Dad misbooked
Dad: Well, this is the dumbest, most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
Christina: No, it's not. Remember that time you double-booked Katie on the airplane so she had to sit next to herself?
Katie: Or the time you knocked over the full luggage cart in the parking lot?
"You cannot be everything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be." - Max Lucado
Katie: What's your favorite ice cream?
Boy, age 4: Tomato.
Katie: Tomato? I've never had tomato ice cream.
Boy: NOOO! Cookie dough!
[Bananagrams]
Mom: I wish I had a W to make dwarf. No, I wish I had a D; I have four Ws.
Katie: VBS does a great job of reminding me that I love children but I made the right choice not to go into education.
Laura: Oh. I'm the opposite.
Katie: You hate children and you're glad you're going into education?
Jackie, age 14: We need to all save up our money to buy a house and that way when you all die it can be mine.
Grandpa: What was that noise?
Katie: My fault. I pushed against the table to push my chair back, but apparently I'm heavier than the table.
Mom: First time in her life!
Christina: For my CNA stuff it says I have to be able to lift 50 pounds. How much is 50 pounds? Daddy, come here!
Dad: I weigh more than 50 pounds!
Christina: Ok, Katie, come here!
Katie: I weigh more than 50 pounds, too!
Christina: Fifty-two is close enough.
Mom: Katie! Dad's new scale is busted! It told me I weigh 300 pounds!
Katie: Let me try it. How does it work?
Mom: It doesn't.
Katie: It told me I weigh zero pounds.
Mom: You can have some of mine.
"[B]eing on a God-guided adventure truly is living life on another level than merely competing for wealth and achievement and prizes and toys of this work." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 173
Christian: But I believe in the Trinity!
Melissa: And Pastor Russ doesn't?
Uncle Jay: I'm the alien bringing the hay!
Auntie Gwennie: Are you practicing your Cantonese or your Mandarin?
Katie: My Mandarin.
Auntie Gwennie: Bok choy!
Mom: No, that's a vegetable.
Christina: Look! The moon!
Katie: I don't want to see anyone's moon!
Christina: God's showing us His moon.
Mom: Stop using my arm as a drumstick!
"Prayer is a way to turn dry theological descriptions into warm, living, personal realities. When we live in constant communication with God, our needs are met, our faith increases, and our love expands." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 166
Mom: Do you want milk?
Uncle Bill: No, we have red milk. [wine]
Auntie Gwennie: "Open away from face." What the--? It's a coffee filter, for crying out loud!
Christina: What's she getting?
Joe: I'm a he!
Uncle Bill: I strike on Fourth Street.
Katie: Good thing there are only three streets in cribbage.
"The point of your life is to point to Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 44
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Blessing in Disguise
My friend Elizabeth was asked to lead an evening twenty-somethings Bible study at her church. No one thought to give her a key to the church, and she didn't think to ask for it.
So, after dinner, we pulled up to church without a way to get inside. Instead, we set up camp in the parking lot and began to study the Word of the Lord.
The evening was beautiful. A light breeze, no humidity, and a beautiful sunset. If we had had a key, we would have missed the beautiful day God created for us! It was absolutely perfect for sitting outside.
While we were finishing up our study, the pastor drove up and offered to let us inside. We were all pretty content with where we were. Then he told us they were going to shoot off fireworks from the field next to the church in a few minutes.
If we had been inside, we would have missed the fireworks, the coolest end to Bible study ever.
Sometimes what's seen as a problem, such as a lack of a key, can really be a blessing in disguise.
Are you looking for blessings in disguise?
<>< Katie
So, after dinner, we pulled up to church without a way to get inside. Instead, we set up camp in the parking lot and began to study the Word of the Lord.
The evening was beautiful. A light breeze, no humidity, and a beautiful sunset. If we had had a key, we would have missed the beautiful day God created for us! It was absolutely perfect for sitting outside.
While we were finishing up our study, the pastor drove up and offered to let us inside. We were all pretty content with where we were. Then he told us they were going to shoot off fireworks from the field next to the church in a few minutes.
If we had been inside, we would have missed the fireworks, the coolest end to Bible study ever.
Sometimes what's seen as a problem, such as a lack of a key, can really be a blessing in disguise.
Are you looking for blessings in disguise?
<>< Katie
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: the following is a collection of ridiculous statements or deeply profound conclusions that I have heard, seen, or been told over the last month. Some are meant in jest. Some are not. As always, some have been forgotten before they could be written down. My deepest apologies. Enjoy!
<>< Katie
Tracy: We cannot prevent the storm but we can prepare for it.
Neal: Have you already eaten?
Katie: Yeah, I ate over there.
Neal: Oh.
Katie: But if I sit next to Stacy long enough I might have to eat again.
Katie: Your shirt's crooked. I would have told you that immediately when you walked in but I was kind of like, "Meh, it's Nikki, at least she's wearing clothing."
Mom [walking into an empty kitchen]: So then we... wait! Where is everybody? It's the rapture and they've all been taken but I've been left behind!
Nikki: I got some llama slobber on my formal dress.
Pete Wilson: Your crisis will become less of a crisis when you replace fear of the unknown with a healthy fear of the known God.
Girl [age 10]: How do you stop turkeys from stargazing?
Amy: I wish tomorrow was Saturday.
Nikki: Hey, now, at this point we're not wishing away days.
Amy: No, just two Saturdays in a row. Let's pray about that.
Stacy [running in from the other room]: Pray about what?
Men: Bro picture!
Michael: Let's stand somewhere with pretty flowers in the background.
Neal: Does everyone who sits at this table have to be loud?!
Katie: I can drink and dance at the same time; I'm Lutheran.
Amy: Jennifer! Can you get the bug spray? I don't want to lose sight of this spider!
Nikki: Don't smash him in the carpet! That won't come out of the carpet!
Nikki, Amy, Jennifer: AHHHHHHH!!
Nikki: Wait! We have shoes! Why don't we use shoes?
Amy: Katie!
[Apparently I'm the only one with shoes]
Professor: The brain can only absorb what the seat can endure.
Amy: Katie, can I have another Crunch bar?
Elizabeth: Did Amy just use the word "coinstar"?
Martin Luther: God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone but also on the trees and in the flowers and clouds and stars.
Neal: I am like an elephant.
Katie: What does that mean?! You're huge and you have a long trunk?
Chase: We are wired for worship. We are made to worship. But often times we worship what was created rather than the Creator.
English misspeak and mock...
Katie: When you speak three languages, we'll talk! And in one of the other ones.
Anonymous Female Friend: In heaven we will never have to wear a bra again!
Elizabeth: I'll take a coffee. Do you have any specialty coffee?
Waiter: Decaf.
Elizabeth: And I want apple butter. I'm requesting it. The menu says "on request."
Teresa: Be intentional with your relationships and be intentional with your time unless you want them to be stolen away.
Jennifer: I want to buy someone to play guitar for me while I fall asleep.
Katie: Usually when the words "buy" and "someone" are put together we use the word "hire."
Jennifer: Ok, I'm going to hire someone to play guitar for me and eventually they'll learn to do it for free and then they'll volunteer.
Keith: I was averaging a book a week in that class. I was booking it!
David: Ultimately life continues regardless of our desire for time to stand still. God has given us each day so we should take joy in those moments.
Amy: It's like we always tell Katie: mockery is the greatest form of love.
Elizabeth: Katie, they are lying to you. They just want to make fun of you.
"A story is only sad if there's no happy ending. I guess I always believe in that ending." - Dr. Julia Cates from Magic Hour by Kristin Hannah
Mom: I don't know what brushing my teeth has to do with Christmas.
Pastor Russ: We don't enjoy the time in between. It feels like a wasteland.
Adam [offering a poptart]: Want some?
Sara: What kind is it?
Adam: Cherry.
Sara: Dairy?
David: Yes, earring.
Nikki: Katie, I was really thirsty, so I pretended we were in a foreign country and drank some of your water.
Micah [preteen]: Um... don't slip. Do you want to have kids?
Neal: Remember, the longer the story the more embellishing.
<>< Katie
Tracy: We cannot prevent the storm but we can prepare for it.
Neal: Have you already eaten?
Katie: Yeah, I ate over there.
Neal: Oh.
Katie: But if I sit next to Stacy long enough I might have to eat again.
Katie: Your shirt's crooked. I would have told you that immediately when you walked in but I was kind of like, "Meh, it's Nikki, at least she's wearing clothing."
Mom [walking into an empty kitchen]: So then we... wait! Where is everybody? It's the rapture and they've all been taken but I've been left behind!
Nikki: I got some llama slobber on my formal dress.
Pete Wilson: Your crisis will become less of a crisis when you replace fear of the unknown with a healthy fear of the known God.
Girl [age 10]: How do you stop turkeys from stargazing?
Amy: I wish tomorrow was Saturday.
Nikki: Hey, now, at this point we're not wishing away days.
Amy: No, just two Saturdays in a row. Let's pray about that.
Stacy [running in from the other room]: Pray about what?
Men: Bro picture!
Michael: Let's stand somewhere with pretty flowers in the background.
Neal: Does everyone who sits at this table have to be loud?!
Katie: I can drink and dance at the same time; I'm Lutheran.
Amy: Jennifer! Can you get the bug spray? I don't want to lose sight of this spider!
Nikki: Don't smash him in the carpet! That won't come out of the carpet!
Nikki, Amy, Jennifer: AHHHHHHH!!
Nikki: Wait! We have shoes! Why don't we use shoes?
Amy: Katie!
[Apparently I'm the only one with shoes]
Professor: The brain can only absorb what the seat can endure.
Amy: Katie, can I have another Crunch bar?
Elizabeth: Did Amy just use the word "coinstar"?
Martin Luther: God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone but also on the trees and in the flowers and clouds and stars.
Neal: I am like an elephant.
Katie: What does that mean?! You're huge and you have a long trunk?
Chase: We are wired for worship. We are made to worship. But often times we worship what was created rather than the Creator.
English misspeak and mock...
Katie: When you speak three languages, we'll talk! And in one of the other ones.
Anonymous Female Friend: In heaven we will never have to wear a bra again!
Elizabeth: I'll take a coffee. Do you have any specialty coffee?
Waiter: Decaf.
Elizabeth: And I want apple butter. I'm requesting it. The menu says "on request."
Teresa: Be intentional with your relationships and be intentional with your time unless you want them to be stolen away.
Jennifer: I want to buy someone to play guitar for me while I fall asleep.
Katie: Usually when the words "buy" and "someone" are put together we use the word "hire."
Jennifer: Ok, I'm going to hire someone to play guitar for me and eventually they'll learn to do it for free and then they'll volunteer.
Keith: I was averaging a book a week in that class. I was booking it!
David: Ultimately life continues regardless of our desire for time to stand still. God has given us each day so we should take joy in those moments.
Amy: It's like we always tell Katie: mockery is the greatest form of love.
Elizabeth: Katie, they are lying to you. They just want to make fun of you.
"A story is only sad if there's no happy ending. I guess I always believe in that ending." - Dr. Julia Cates from Magic Hour by Kristin Hannah
Mom: I don't know what brushing my teeth has to do with Christmas.
Pastor Russ: We don't enjoy the time in between. It feels like a wasteland.
Adam [offering a poptart]: Want some?
Sara: What kind is it?
Adam: Cherry.
Sara: Dairy?
David: Yes, earring.
Nikki: Katie, I was really thirsty, so I pretended we were in a foreign country and drank some of your water.
Micah [preteen]: Um... don't slip. Do you want to have kids?
Neal: Remember, the longer the story the more embellishing.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Christian: The most difficult times are often the most sacred not because of the difficulty we face but because difficulties allow us to more boldly cling to the most sacred thing of all: the hope in Jesus Christ who died, rose, and lives and reigns forever.
Sara: I got disowned by David last night because I haven't seen Star Wars.
Katie: I haven't seen it either.
Sara: David! Katie Ax hasn't seen Star Wars either!
David: But I'm not dating Katie Ax.
Katie: Thank goodness!
Mom: Katie, I wish we had gone to Ruby Tuesday's so you could meet the bartender. He's really friendly.
E [age 10]: School's hard. I have lots of homework.
Katie: It's because you're getting closer to The G-word.
E: I want to graduate. Why don't you want to graduate?
Katie: Well... uh.... It's scary.
E: Is it because you're getting old?
Katie: Yes! Like your dad! [Neal]
Mom: Do you want sugar in your coffee?
Grandma: Yes, please.
Mom: White or brown?
Grandma: Brown.
Mom: Brown sugar.
Grandma: Oh, no. White. I thought you were talking about coffee.
[What's white coffee?]
Katie [running my hand down a photo]: I want to be here.
Jennifer: You are here!
Katie: I mean, in this photo.
Josh: The mark I made on you is still there. It's like I bought you.
Emily: It's because I don't bathe.
Katie: I really hope that like four years from now when we're not roommates anymore facebook still exists so we can go view our friendship and see these crazy conversations we had with each other from across the room.
Jennifer: We're not going to be friends anymore?
Katie: I said roommates.
Jennifer: Awe, man! I was getting excited!
John: Even when you get married and have kids. Not in that order. Wait. Yes. In that order.
Elizabeth: Katie, do you have any stamps?
Katie: Yes.
Elizabeth: And after I use your stamp can I use your mailing service?
Katie: Yes.
[I hand her a roll of stamps. She looks at them pensively]
Elizabeth: Do I just put one?
Katie: No, you put them all.
Jennifer: You forgot to lick it!
Saxon: Everyone has some singing fish in their closet.
Maegan: Is it Coach K or Coach K-A-Y? You know, the coach for UNC.
Friend: OH MY GOSH! He's the coach for Duke! I disown you! Don't talk to me for a few hours!
Katie: Cat. Puking. On. Table.
Sara: Why do we say "as"? There's no z. I mean, I know the alternative, but why?
David: I think it's an American thing. My parents don't enunciate the "s" like most people do.
Katie: So it sounds like your parents are swearing at you every time they say "ass"?
David: Wacky Wednesday!
Jennifer: My Bible's really dusty. That's never a good sign. But it's because I've been reading my little one.
Katie: I have five pounds of Nicaraguan coffee.
Grandma: Five pounds of McDonalds coffee?
Ashley: For our skit we could sing "A Whole New World" and act out The Little Mermaid in the background.
Katie: Why are there Wheat Thins in our fridge again?
Amy: Apparently Andy's been hanging out with Allyson.
Andy: I didn't do it! Oh, yeah, I did. Oops.
Emily: When I'm a doctor I'm only going to treat strep throat and ear infections.
Josh: Good choice, refer out that nasty flu.
Jennifer: Never mind. Don't worry about it. I don't understand myself half of the time.
Katie: Good because neither do the rest of us.
Mom: And we'll make Laura's room the bunk room.
Katie: Sure, put my husband and me next to all of the screaming kids.
Mom: Yeah, why not? Most of them will be yours anyway.
Dr. T: Good thing you didn't get into grad school otherwise we'd have nothing to talk about over lunch.
Katie: I know, we'd have to stare at each other awkwardly.
Katie: I'm getting sick, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Life goes on.
Amy: Pop quiz: what's a noun?
Jennifer: A person, place, or thing.
Amy: What is a pronoun?
Jennifer: Rock, mineral, or vegetable?
Amy: When do you use a comma?
Jennifer: To separate pauses.
Amy: No, clauses. Nikki, what's eight times eight.
Nikki: Sixzzzzhhhhzzzhhhhugh grunt.
Katie: Sixty-Four.
[pause]
Nikki: It is sixty-four! I knew it was sixty-four!
Mom: You speak lots of tongues, shut up.
Katie: I don't remember "shut up" in the Bible.
[Getting in the car]
Jennifer: Elizabeth! Sit next to me!
Andy: Nikki! Sit next to me!
Katie: No one wants me to sit by them.
Andy: Katie, you can walk.
Elizabeth: Andy!
Andy: --walk over here and hug me while I hold this door open for you.
B [age 5]: Let's get him!
College Girls: With that?
B: Weapons!
CG: What kind of weapons?
B: Fake weapons!
Bob Lenz: Worship is not supposed to be our service. Service is supposed to be our worship.
Sara: I got disowned by David last night because I haven't seen Star Wars.
Katie: I haven't seen it either.
Sara: David! Katie Ax hasn't seen Star Wars either!
David: But I'm not dating Katie Ax.
Katie: Thank goodness!
Mom: Katie, I wish we had gone to Ruby Tuesday's so you could meet the bartender. He's really friendly.
E [age 10]: School's hard. I have lots of homework.
Katie: It's because you're getting closer to The G-word.
E: I want to graduate. Why don't you want to graduate?
Katie: Well... uh.... It's scary.
E: Is it because you're getting old?
Katie: Yes! Like your dad! [Neal]
Mom: Do you want sugar in your coffee?
Grandma: Yes, please.
Mom: White or brown?
Grandma: Brown.
Mom: Brown sugar.
Grandma: Oh, no. White. I thought you were talking about coffee.
[What's white coffee?]
Katie [running my hand down a photo]: I want to be here.
Jennifer: You are here!
Katie: I mean, in this photo.
Josh: The mark I made on you is still there. It's like I bought you.
Emily: It's because I don't bathe.
Katie: I really hope that like four years from now when we're not roommates anymore facebook still exists so we can go view our friendship and see these crazy conversations we had with each other from across the room.
Jennifer: We're not going to be friends anymore?
Katie: I said roommates.
Jennifer: Awe, man! I was getting excited!
John: Even when you get married and have kids. Not in that order. Wait. Yes. In that order.
Elizabeth: Katie, do you have any stamps?
Katie: Yes.
Elizabeth: And after I use your stamp can I use your mailing service?
Katie: Yes.
[I hand her a roll of stamps. She looks at them pensively]
Elizabeth: Do I just put one?
Katie: No, you put them all.
Jennifer: You forgot to lick it!
Saxon: Everyone has some singing fish in their closet.
Maegan: Is it Coach K or Coach K-A-Y? You know, the coach for UNC.
Friend: OH MY GOSH! He's the coach for Duke! I disown you! Don't talk to me for a few hours!
Katie: Cat. Puking. On. Table.
Sara: Why do we say "as"? There's no z. I mean, I know the alternative, but why?
David: I think it's an American thing. My parents don't enunciate the "s" like most people do.
Katie: So it sounds like your parents are swearing at you every time they say "ass"?
David: Wacky Wednesday!
Jennifer: My Bible's really dusty. That's never a good sign. But it's because I've been reading my little one.
Katie: I have five pounds of Nicaraguan coffee.
Grandma: Five pounds of McDonalds coffee?
Ashley: For our skit we could sing "A Whole New World" and act out The Little Mermaid in the background.
Katie: Why are there Wheat Thins in our fridge again?
Amy: Apparently Andy's been hanging out with Allyson.
Andy: I didn't do it! Oh, yeah, I did. Oops.
Emily: When I'm a doctor I'm only going to treat strep throat and ear infections.
Josh: Good choice, refer out that nasty flu.
Jennifer: Never mind. Don't worry about it. I don't understand myself half of the time.
Katie: Good because neither do the rest of us.
Mom: And we'll make Laura's room the bunk room.
Katie: Sure, put my husband and me next to all of the screaming kids.
Mom: Yeah, why not? Most of them will be yours anyway.
Dr. T: Good thing you didn't get into grad school otherwise we'd have nothing to talk about over lunch.
Katie: I know, we'd have to stare at each other awkwardly.
Katie: I'm getting sick, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Life goes on.
Amy: Pop quiz: what's a noun?
Jennifer: A person, place, or thing.
Amy: What is a pronoun?
Jennifer: Rock, mineral, or vegetable?
Amy: When do you use a comma?
Jennifer: To separate pauses.
Amy: No, clauses. Nikki, what's eight times eight.
Nikki: Sixzzzzhhhhzzzhhhhugh grunt.
Katie: Sixty-Four.
[pause]
Nikki: It is sixty-four! I knew it was sixty-four!
Mom: You speak lots of tongues, shut up.
Katie: I don't remember "shut up" in the Bible.
[Getting in the car]
Jennifer: Elizabeth! Sit next to me!
Andy: Nikki! Sit next to me!
Katie: No one wants me to sit by them.
Andy: Katie, you can walk.
Elizabeth: Andy!
Andy: --walk over here and hug me while I hold this door open for you.
B [age 5]: Let's get him!
College Girls: With that?
B: Weapons!
CG: What kind of weapons?
B: Fake weapons!
Bob Lenz: Worship is not supposed to be our service. Service is supposed to be our worship.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
David: Katie, I especially like the Wacky Wednesday quotes when Nikki's mocking you because they're so funny!
Heather: Evan, get a canoe and row home.
Evan: I would love that but I think it's uphill.
Katie: It wouldn't matter; you'd be in a canoe!
Katie: It's "Yo quiero verTe."
Neal: Yeah, V-E-R-D-E.
Katie: No, V-E-R-T-E. It's "I want to see You" not "I want green."
Andy: What is this? Do I look like a maid? Or a butler?
Amy: The first one.
Nikki: Maid.
Caitlin: You exchanged hats! That's like a promise.
Michael: Yeah! It's a promise ring for gangsters.
Katie: Is that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on your shirt?
Professor: James, do you know your Bible well?
James: No.
Professor: That's because you didn't grow up Lutheran.
Jennifer: Elizabeth, I can feel your heart beat through my butt!
Manolo: Say, "Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua."
Neal: Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua.
Katie: Neal! Stop swearing at us!
Neal: What?
Katie: He's teaching you naughty words!
Neal: Nah! This is a man of the Lord!
[an hour later Manolo did intentionally teach Neal the wrong word]
Nikki: I made a phalic image in this poem and he totally caught it!
Katie: He's a boy. I'm not surprised.
Nikki: No, it was a Biblical image!
Katie: He's a boy and a div school student.
Sara: Katie's always brave and tries the mystery salad from the stir fry line.
[That's really just in here for Mom]
[I'm cutting cookie cake with a butter knife. Andy handed me the machete we use to cut watermelon]
Katie: Will you make the bleeding stop when I cut myself with this knife?
Andy: Yes, but only this once.
Katie: Do you want some cookie cake without any blood on it?
Andy: No, I want blood on mine.
Katie: Well, I'll supply the cookie cake. You'll have to supply the blood.
Boy: I thought it was a fart. But then it rolled down my leg.
Mother: And onto the carpet.
Brother: Yeah, I'll put that on my facebook: my brother pooped on the carpet.
Mother: No.
Boy: Please, Mom?
Ted: Uno, dos, tros.
Mo: Oh, did you see? The directions are in plastic, too.
Jessica: You can't read plastic?
Mo: I mean, English.
Nikki: Do you like your sandwich cut?
Amy: Yes, like animals.
Nikki: You're going to get triangles. Four of them. Actually, I changed my mind and cut your P, B, and J like a pizza.
Erica: Where's Sherry from? America? I thought she was from Australia.
Sara: Are you stretching or giving me a hug?
David: Yes.
Heather: God is so good amidst all this crap.
Katie: She just said a naughty word in the prayer room!
Anonymous Friend: Hell, yeah!
Katie: Nikki! You always walk away when I'm talking!
Nikki: I know that your stories are long enough that I can walk away and come back to hear the real point.
Amy: Ah! I just got my phone charger stuck in the air conditioner vent.
James: I didn't do the assigment.
Professor: Well, that's what we expect from males.
Dad: I had a bad dream last night. I was graduating college and I didn't have a job.
Katie: I'm so glad your nightmare is my reality.
Neal: If you don't perform your role, our body is not whole. So don't let satan convince you that you're insignificant or something you did last week means you're not capable for being part of the body this week. Without you, our joy is not complete and we can't enjoy this trip. Maybe you're a pinky or maybe you're a heart; you're still part of the body.
Heather: Evan, get a canoe and row home.
Evan: I would love that but I think it's uphill.
Katie: It wouldn't matter; you'd be in a canoe!
Katie: It's "Yo quiero verTe."
Neal: Yeah, V-E-R-D-E.
Katie: No, V-E-R-T-E. It's "I want to see You" not "I want green."
Andy: What is this? Do I look like a maid? Or a butler?
Amy: The first one.
Nikki: Maid.
Caitlin: You exchanged hats! That's like a promise.
Michael: Yeah! It's a promise ring for gangsters.
Katie: Is that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on your shirt?
Professor: James, do you know your Bible well?
James: No.
Professor: That's because you didn't grow up Lutheran.
Jennifer: Elizabeth, I can feel your heart beat through my butt!
Manolo: Say, "Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua."
Neal: Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua.
Katie: Neal! Stop swearing at us!
Neal: What?
Katie: He's teaching you naughty words!
Neal: Nah! This is a man of the Lord!
[an hour later Manolo did intentionally teach Neal the wrong word]
Nikki: I made a phalic image in this poem and he totally caught it!
Katie: He's a boy. I'm not surprised.
Nikki: No, it was a Biblical image!
Katie: He's a boy and a div school student.
Sara: Katie's always brave and tries the mystery salad from the stir fry line.
[That's really just in here for Mom]
[I'm cutting cookie cake with a butter knife. Andy handed me the machete we use to cut watermelon]
Katie: Will you make the bleeding stop when I cut myself with this knife?
Andy: Yes, but only this once.
Katie: Do you want some cookie cake without any blood on it?
Andy: No, I want blood on mine.
Katie: Well, I'll supply the cookie cake. You'll have to supply the blood.
Boy: I thought it was a fart. But then it rolled down my leg.
Mother: And onto the carpet.
Brother: Yeah, I'll put that on my facebook: my brother pooped on the carpet.
Mother: No.
Boy: Please, Mom?
Ted: Uno, dos, tros.
Mo: Oh, did you see? The directions are in plastic, too.
Jessica: You can't read plastic?
Mo: I mean, English.
Nikki: Do you like your sandwich cut?
Amy: Yes, like animals.
Nikki: You're going to get triangles. Four of them. Actually, I changed my mind and cut your P, B, and J like a pizza.
Erica: Where's Sherry from? America? I thought she was from Australia.
Sara: Are you stretching or giving me a hug?
David: Yes.
Heather: God is so good amidst all this crap.
Katie: She just said a naughty word in the prayer room!
Anonymous Friend: Hell, yeah!
Katie: Nikki! You always walk away when I'm talking!
Nikki: I know that your stories are long enough that I can walk away and come back to hear the real point.
Amy: Ah! I just got my phone charger stuck in the air conditioner vent.
James: I didn't do the assigment.
Professor: Well, that's what we expect from males.
Dad: I had a bad dream last night. I was graduating college and I didn't have a job.
Katie: I'm so glad your nightmare is my reality.
Neal: If you don't perform your role, our body is not whole. So don't let satan convince you that you're insignificant or something you did last week means you're not capable for being part of the body this week. Without you, our joy is not complete and we can't enjoy this trip. Maybe you're a pinky or maybe you're a heart; you're still part of the body.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Katie: Sometimes broken things are worth keeping.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Allyson: I had to put studs in my ears because my right ear was growing up.
Jennifer: Really? Getting more mature, too?
Katie: Is it going to graduate high school?
Andy: Katie, go home.
Katie: I am home. You can leave.
Nikki: The way Katie plays with hair stresses me out.
Nikki: NO PDA!
Elizabeth: That wasn't PDA! He blew a raspberry on my cheek! There's no affection!
Katie: Nikki, I find it really easy to appreciate you when I don't see you.
Katie [voice]: Andy, if you're in the bathroom for more than five minutes, I'm calling 911.
[Five minutes later]
Katie [text]: It's been five minutes. I'm calling 911.
Andy [text]: I am 911!
Katie [voice]: ANDY!
Andy [voice... from the bathroom]: What?
Katie: This boy's been in my bathroom for more than five minutes.
Katie: You guys can come to my wedding, but it won't be dry.
Jennifer: Then I'm bringing a poncho.
Matt: Missions is praying, giving, and going. If you're not a missionary, you're a mission field.
Nikki: Half the things they talk about in that song we don't do on campus. ["Cheats" by Carrie Underwood]
Katie: Break into cars. Slash tires.
Andy: Listen to country music.
Amber: Is it weird that I don't like being complemented on my interpreting because I don't want to interpret?
Katie: No. It's like me being complemented on my poetry.
Elizabeth: Katie, while you're just standing there, would you make some chocolate chip cookies please? [We don't have an oven]
Elizabeth: Why can't we just defrost the dough in the oven?
Nikki: Because the oven is not a defroster.
Elizabeth: Then put them in the microwave.
Amy: This IS college! I'll call my mom. Mom, this is an emergency! Do we have to thaw the cookie dough before we make them? The directions say to thaw completely but we want cookies NOW!
Katie: I color my hair so I don't get confused for my sister.
Nikki: I never get confused for my sister. Mostly because I'm twice her size.
Jennifer: Dye it--
Nikki: Diet?
Jennifer: --red.
Allyson: Guys, it sounds and feels like there's a thunderstorm in my stomach.
Jennifer: Oooh! I want to hear it!
Katie: Is there lightning too?
Nikki: Katie, I don't understand you sometimes. I wish I were you sometimes.
Church member: Where's your baby?
New Father: We took her back.
College student: Did you get your money back?
New Father: No, you always lose money on those kinds of things.
Nikki: I'd like to make an announcement: It's the day before Tuesday. It's Monday.
Katie: What does it say?
Stephen: Avada Kedavra.
Sara: You just killed Katie Ax!
Katie: AHHH! That's ok. God gave me new life.
Katie: Better [dropping a computer] on a glass table than on my head.
Amy: Make origami.
Katie: I don't know how to make any origami that's pretty.
Jennifer: Like me.
Katie: If I knew origami, I would make a pretty you. Or if I were your parents.
Jennifer, Amy: What did you say?
Katie: I said what you thought I said.
Amy: You said, 'your pants?'
Denaj: Jesus is a great editor.
Matt: God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.
Katie: I'm donating blood tomorrow.
Andy: Are you going to let me start your IV?
Katie: Are you going to be there?
Andy: No.
Katie: Then no.
Andy: Do you have good veins?
Katie [rolling up my sleeve to look]: Yes?
Andy: I could hit them with a needle from across the room. Yes!
Jennifer: I want to say something funny so you will write it in your nerdy notebook.
Nikki, Katie: That doesn't count.
David: Slim pickins.
Heather: Good thing God doesn't say that about us!
Rob: God will move mountains if we're willing to put in the shovel.
Jonathan Martin: If you ask for the fire of God to fall down, just be prepared because you never know what you're going to get.
Katie: ... yogurt out the wazoo.
Nikki: Ew! I don't eat yogurt from the wazoo.
Jennifer: What's a wazoo?
Nikki: I think it's some secret anatomical place.
Katie: Ask Andy.
Jennifer: He would know: he's a wa who lives in a zoo.
Jonathan Martin: What have you done today without expecting anything in return?
Jennifer: Katie, you're lamo kablamo. Put on your wrinkle shirt and lick a bone!
Katie: I'm going to go to my room. People like me there.
Nikki: Katie, there's no one in there.
Katie: Your point?
Katie: It smells like campfire in here.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm straightening my hair.
Katie: Did you do anything fun today?
Andy: No, I didn't [because] I didn't work today. BUT! I did sign up for some EMS hours.
Nikki: Vulnerability and transparency. They're yucky and they're good. They're like vegetables.
By the way, I gave in and am now on Twitter (@KatieAx3), so you can follow our suite bantering in real-time and see quotes that inspire me throughout the day.
Happy Wednesday! I pray no one is drowning in the Snowpocalypse.
<>< Katie
Jennifer: Really? Getting more mature, too?
Katie: Is it going to graduate high school?
Andy: Katie, go home.
Katie: I am home. You can leave.
Nikki: The way Katie plays with hair stresses me out.
Nikki: NO PDA!
Elizabeth: That wasn't PDA! He blew a raspberry on my cheek! There's no affection!
Katie: Nikki, I find it really easy to appreciate you when I don't see you.
Katie [voice]: Andy, if you're in the bathroom for more than five minutes, I'm calling 911.
[Five minutes later]
Katie [text]: It's been five minutes. I'm calling 911.
Andy [text]: I am 911!
Katie [voice]: ANDY!
Andy [voice... from the bathroom]: What?
Katie: This boy's been in my bathroom for more than five minutes.
Katie: You guys can come to my wedding, but it won't be dry.
Jennifer: Then I'm bringing a poncho.
Matt: Missions is praying, giving, and going. If you're not a missionary, you're a mission field.
Nikki: Half the things they talk about in that song we don't do on campus. ["Cheats" by Carrie Underwood]
Katie: Break into cars. Slash tires.
Andy: Listen to country music.
Amber: Is it weird that I don't like being complemented on my interpreting because I don't want to interpret?
Katie: No. It's like me being complemented on my poetry.
Elizabeth: Katie, while you're just standing there, would you make some chocolate chip cookies please? [We don't have an oven]
Elizabeth: Why can't we just defrost the dough in the oven?
Nikki: Because the oven is not a defroster.
Elizabeth: Then put them in the microwave.
Amy: This IS college! I'll call my mom. Mom, this is an emergency! Do we have to thaw the cookie dough before we make them? The directions say to thaw completely but we want cookies NOW!
Katie: I color my hair so I don't get confused for my sister.
Nikki: I never get confused for my sister. Mostly because I'm twice her size.
Jennifer: Dye it--
Nikki: Diet?
Jennifer: --red.
Allyson: Guys, it sounds and feels like there's a thunderstorm in my stomach.
Jennifer: Oooh! I want to hear it!
Katie: Is there lightning too?
Nikki: Katie, I don't understand you sometimes. I wish I were you sometimes.
Church member: Where's your baby?
New Father: We took her back.
College student: Did you get your money back?
New Father: No, you always lose money on those kinds of things.
Nikki: I'd like to make an announcement: It's the day before Tuesday. It's Monday.
Katie: What does it say?
Stephen: Avada Kedavra.
Sara: You just killed Katie Ax!
Katie: AHHH! That's ok. God gave me new life.
Katie: Better [dropping a computer] on a glass table than on my head.
Amy: Make origami.
Katie: I don't know how to make any origami that's pretty.
Jennifer: Like me.
Katie: If I knew origami, I would make a pretty you. Or if I were your parents.
Jennifer, Amy: What did you say?
Katie: I said what you thought I said.
Amy: You said, 'your pants?'
Denaj: Jesus is a great editor.
Matt: God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.
Katie: I'm donating blood tomorrow.
Andy: Are you going to let me start your IV?
Katie: Are you going to be there?
Andy: No.
Katie: Then no.
Andy: Do you have good veins?
Katie [rolling up my sleeve to look]: Yes?
Andy: I could hit them with a needle from across the room. Yes!
Jennifer: I want to say something funny so you will write it in your nerdy notebook.
Nikki, Katie: That doesn't count.
David: Slim pickins.
Heather: Good thing God doesn't say that about us!
Rob: God will move mountains if we're willing to put in the shovel.
Jonathan Martin: If you ask for the fire of God to fall down, just be prepared because you never know what you're going to get.
Katie: ... yogurt out the wazoo.
Nikki: Ew! I don't eat yogurt from the wazoo.
Jennifer: What's a wazoo?
Nikki: I think it's some secret anatomical place.
Katie: Ask Andy.
Jennifer: He would know: he's a wa who lives in a zoo.
Jonathan Martin: What have you done today without expecting anything in return?
Jennifer: Katie, you're lamo kablamo. Put on your wrinkle shirt and lick a bone!
Katie: I'm going to go to my room. People like me there.
Nikki: Katie, there's no one in there.
Katie: Your point?
Katie: It smells like campfire in here.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm straightening my hair.
Katie: Did you do anything fun today?
Andy: No, I didn't [because] I didn't work today. BUT! I did sign up for some EMS hours.
Nikki: Vulnerability and transparency. They're yucky and they're good. They're like vegetables.
By the way, I gave in and am now on Twitter (@KatieAx3), so you can follow our suite bantering in real-time and see quotes that inspire me throughout the day.
Happy Wednesday! I pray no one is drowning in the Snowpocalypse.
<>< Katie
Monday, January 17, 2011
Snapshots: Precious, Priceless, Nerdy, Compassionate
Snapshot One: Precious
Neal bent over to zip his daughter's (age 4? 5?) jacket as they walked towards the caf door. She let him zip it all the way past her chin without protesting. When he stood, she took the cookie in her hand and tried to put it in her mouth, colliding with the jacket zipper instead. Twice she pulled her hand back and jabbed the cookie more forcefully into her jacket. Finally she used her chin to open the zipper just enough to free her mouth and enjoy the caf's mass-produced sugar cookie.
Snapshot Two: Priceless
My friend Emily saw some firemen, in full uniform, building a snowman outside the firehouse. I'm jealous I didn't get to witness this.
Snapshot Three: Nerdy
Elizabeth's boyfriend Andy came into our apartment with a fanny pack of medical stuff that's his to keep. Of course, he had to try it out on himself and Elizabeth. It was hilarious because he's trying to take her blood pressure while she was going out her daily routine, typing papers, and conversing on Skype.
Elizabeth: What was it?
Andy: Good.
Elizabeth: Really?
Andy: Well, I couldn't get the bottom number because you kept moving but the top number was good.
Sometimes Andy and I fight like brother and sister. I consider it good practice because I don't have any biological brothers.
Katie: Nerdy.
Andy: If saving lives is nerdy, then yes.
Katie: Yes.
Andy: I'll keep that in mind in case you ever need to be saved.
Actually, I own and proudly wear a shirt that reads, "Talk nerdy to me." Andy designed it.
Snapshot Four: Compassionate
We were driving through town and saw an SUV stalled on the other side of the median. It had been turning left and died just before it got out of the intersection and into the lane. One intersection away from Wal-mart, this ranks up there as one of the worst places ever for a car to die. The passenger jumped out and started pushing on the side of the car. A few vehicles went around them, and a police officer continued he day obliviously. One car pulled over, and the male driver jumped out to help. A few seconds later, a mini van pulled over, and the male driver jumped out to help. A jeep blocked the lane and intersection behind them with emergency flashers. Together they got the SUV to the side of the road just after our light turned green again. There are caring people in this world!
Neal bent over to zip his daughter's (age 4? 5?) jacket as they walked towards the caf door. She let him zip it all the way past her chin without protesting. When he stood, she took the cookie in her hand and tried to put it in her mouth, colliding with the jacket zipper instead. Twice she pulled her hand back and jabbed the cookie more forcefully into her jacket. Finally she used her chin to open the zipper just enough to free her mouth and enjoy the caf's mass-produced sugar cookie.
Snapshot Two: Priceless
My friend Emily saw some firemen, in full uniform, building a snowman outside the firehouse. I'm jealous I didn't get to witness this.
Snapshot Three: Nerdy
Elizabeth's boyfriend Andy came into our apartment with a fanny pack of medical stuff that's his to keep. Of course, he had to try it out on himself and Elizabeth. It was hilarious because he's trying to take her blood pressure while she was going out her daily routine, typing papers, and conversing on Skype.
Elizabeth: What was it?
Andy: Good.
Elizabeth: Really?
Andy: Well, I couldn't get the bottom number because you kept moving but the top number was good.
Sometimes Andy and I fight like brother and sister. I consider it good practice because I don't have any biological brothers.
Katie: Nerdy.
Andy: If saving lives is nerdy, then yes.
Katie: Yes.
Andy: I'll keep that in mind in case you ever need to be saved.
Actually, I own and proudly wear a shirt that reads, "Talk nerdy to me." Andy designed it.
Snapshot Four: Compassionate
We were driving through town and saw an SUV stalled on the other side of the median. It had been turning left and died just before it got out of the intersection and into the lane. One intersection away from Wal-mart, this ranks up there as one of the worst places ever for a car to die. The passenger jumped out and started pushing on the side of the car. A few vehicles went around them, and a police officer continued he day obliviously. One car pulled over, and the male driver jumped out to help. A few seconds later, a mini van pulled over, and the male driver jumped out to help. A jeep blocked the lane and intersection behind them with emergency flashers. Together they got the SUV to the side of the road just after our light turned green again. There are caring people in this world!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Snow pants and iced coffee
Sometimes so many cool things happen in life that I just want to write about every minute of every day. Except I can't. Let me give you snapshots of my yesterday. <>< Katie
Snapshot One
Five of the six girls in my apartment had somewhere to be by 8am. Remember, we're college students, so that is unheard-of early! A little before seven I rolled over and noticed Jennifer was missing. Honestly, I wondered if she ever came to bed. I fell asleep before she came in and she apparently got up before I did. She could sleep while doing a headstand, so I wasn't too worried. I was worried about our frantic, groggy noise as the other five of us tried to get ready. When I found her in the living room, she said she went to bed just after I fell asleep and got up not five minutes before my alarm went off. I asked why she was up and she said she got up to make Allyson coffee. I figure that's the epitome of selflessness, to get up at 7am to make coffee for your roommate. It got better. She then went out and scraped all of the ice off of Elizabeth's car. At seven am, my amazing roommate woke up just to serve us.
Snapshot Two
Around nine, Dr. Z and J-M walked into the coffee shop. I asked J-M why he was wearing snow pants. He said it was eleven degrees outside and they had walked. He then proceeded to order an iced coffee. At which point I reminded him it was eleven degrees out. His response? "That's why I'm wearing snow pants."
Snapshot Three
I arrived at the Wal-mart crosswalk two steps behind an elderly couple with matching hand-carved wooden canes. There was enough time of me to cross in front of the oncoming car but there wasn't enough time for them. The man cleared his throat to find his voice. "Let's go," he said to his wife. One foot at a time they moved forward and I subconsciously slowed my naturally fast pace to half time. When we reached the halfway point, I was sure the car had stopped and there were other people in the cross walk, so I sped up again, but for some reason that cute old couple has stuck in my head for the last few days.
Snapshot Four
Around eight pm, my roommates announced it was wintery mixing outside. I left my study perch on the couch and got up to look out the window. Honestly, I was excited to see big white snowflakes for the first time this season. As soon as I pulled open the blinds, I remembered I live in Baptist Country. If I closed one eye, tilted my head sideways, and stared at the street light, I could kind of see something that resembled a rain drop.
Snapshot Five
Remember those nice things I said about my roommate in Snapshot One? I take them all back. That morning she also washed our sheets. She said it took forever to put the sheets on my bed. Apparently she had finished when she realized she missed a layer and had to start all over again. Honestly, I appreciated it. What I did not appreciate was the fact that she intentionally made the bed backwards. I think next time I do the sheets I'll make Jen's bed inside out with the sheet on top and comforter on the bottom.
Snapshot One
Five of the six girls in my apartment had somewhere to be by 8am. Remember, we're college students, so that is unheard-of early! A little before seven I rolled over and noticed Jennifer was missing. Honestly, I wondered if she ever came to bed. I fell asleep before she came in and she apparently got up before I did. She could sleep while doing a headstand, so I wasn't too worried. I was worried about our frantic, groggy noise as the other five of us tried to get ready. When I found her in the living room, she said she went to bed just after I fell asleep and got up not five minutes before my alarm went off. I asked why she was up and she said she got up to make Allyson coffee. I figure that's the epitome of selflessness, to get up at 7am to make coffee for your roommate. It got better. She then went out and scraped all of the ice off of Elizabeth's car. At seven am, my amazing roommate woke up just to serve us.
Snapshot Two
Around nine, Dr. Z and J-M walked into the coffee shop. I asked J-M why he was wearing snow pants. He said it was eleven degrees outside and they had walked. He then proceeded to order an iced coffee. At which point I reminded him it was eleven degrees out. His response? "That's why I'm wearing snow pants."
Snapshot Three
I arrived at the Wal-mart crosswalk two steps behind an elderly couple with matching hand-carved wooden canes. There was enough time of me to cross in front of the oncoming car but there wasn't enough time for them. The man cleared his throat to find his voice. "Let's go," he said to his wife. One foot at a time they moved forward and I subconsciously slowed my naturally fast pace to half time. When we reached the halfway point, I was sure the car had stopped and there were other people in the cross walk, so I sped up again, but for some reason that cute old couple has stuck in my head for the last few days.
Snapshot Four
Around eight pm, my roommates announced it was wintery mixing outside. I left my study perch on the couch and got up to look out the window. Honestly, I was excited to see big white snowflakes for the first time this season. As soon as I pulled open the blinds, I remembered I live in Baptist Country. If I closed one eye, tilted my head sideways, and stared at the street light, I could kind of see something that resembled a rain drop.
Snapshot Five
Remember those nice things I said about my roommate in Snapshot One? I take them all back. That morning she also washed our sheets. She said it took forever to put the sheets on my bed. Apparently she had finished when she realized she missed a layer and had to start all over again. Honestly, I appreciated it. What I did not appreciate was the fact that she intentionally made the bed backwards. I think next time I do the sheets I'll make Jen's bed inside out with the sheet on top and comforter on the bottom.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Looking Like People
"Your characters talk and act like people, but they don't look like people," my fiction writing class told me last week. This constructive criticism has stuck in my head since then.
It's true: I rarely describe the physical features of my characters. Maybe it's because even though I'm a visual learned I struggle to describe real people much less made-up people. There are almost a million 5'4" girls with light brown hair. Maybe it's because I find writing physical description to be boring. "Her dyed red hair fell in her face covering her hazel eyes" lameness. Maybe it's because when I'm reading I envision the characters my own way and don't like being told I'm wrong.
"But we want to see the characters the way you see them," my professor told me.
My question is: Does it matter? If it's vital that a character has curly, dark brown hair looks like she jumped out of a Jane Austen novel, then, yes, of course I'll mention it. But does every character, or even the main character, need to be accompanied by a physical description?
Elizabeth says yes. Otherwise they're just voices.
Nikki says she's stop reading if they weren't described.
Without looking up from the book she was reading, Amy nodded.
I remember as a fourth grader reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe before watching the movie. Afterwards, the teacher asked us what we thought.
One student (I wish it was me...) said, "I liked the pictures in the book better."
I gave my protagonist strawberry blonde hair just to appease my classmates. But deep down inside I wonder. Does it matter to you if you know I'm so skinny I disappear if I turn sideways, my hands are so chapped they're bloody, and my not-quite-shoulder-length dirty blonde hair spends a majority of it's time in a three-quarters pony tail?
<>< Katie
It's true: I rarely describe the physical features of my characters. Maybe it's because even though I'm a visual learned I struggle to describe real people much less made-up people. There are almost a million 5'4" girls with light brown hair. Maybe it's because I find writing physical description to be boring. "Her dyed red hair fell in her face covering her hazel eyes" lameness. Maybe it's because when I'm reading I envision the characters my own way and don't like being told I'm wrong.
"But we want to see the characters the way you see them," my professor told me.
My question is: Does it matter? If it's vital that a character has curly, dark brown hair looks like she jumped out of a Jane Austen novel, then, yes, of course I'll mention it. But does every character, or even the main character, need to be accompanied by a physical description?
Elizabeth says yes. Otherwise they're just voices.
Nikki says she's stop reading if they weren't described.
Without looking up from the book she was reading, Amy nodded.
I remember as a fourth grader reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe before watching the movie. Afterwards, the teacher asked us what we thought.
One student (I wish it was me...) said, "I liked the pictures in the book better."
I gave my protagonist strawberry blonde hair just to appease my classmates. But deep down inside I wonder. Does it matter to you if you know I'm so skinny I disappear if I turn sideways, my hands are so chapped they're bloody, and my not-quite-shoulder-length dirty blonde hair spends a majority of it's time in a three-quarters pony tail?
<>< Katie
Monday, November 22, 2010
Touch
Sometimes Elizabeth is struck with this uncontrollable urge to touch someone's hair. It's really bad when she walks up to a stranger and starts running her finger's through this person's hair.
I had an "Elizabeth Moment" the other day. Sarah was sitting beside me in class with a stack of blank paper in her notebook. During the entire 50-minute class I had this barely controllable urge to run my hand along her beautiful paper. I'm a writer; I can't help it. Don't judge; it's the little things in life. As soon as the professor dismissed the class, my left hand shot across the aisle and onto Sarah's notebook. It happened at the exact moment that she was closing her notebook, sandwiching my hand between the new and the used paper. She gave me a weird look, I explained, and the weird look continued. But she let me touch her paper.
Brothers and sisters in Christ, what if had the same urge to touch lives in His name?
Christian told me this story about his first trip to Guatemala. They were serving food outside the garbage dump in Guatemala City. As the dump inhabitants came for food, Christian and some of the other members of his team sanitized their hands.
"The biggest thing we could do for them was to touch them. These people were considered untouchable and when we touched them to sanitize their hands we accepted them," he explained.
Jesus did the same thing in touching the man with leprosy in Matthew 8. He could have said, "You are healed," and it would have been done. He's God. He has the power to do that. But He didn't. He made a point to touch someone that society had seemed untouchable.
Now, I'm not saying run up to everybody and touch them. There are ways to touch people without ever making physical contact.
Jennifer and Amy just sent letters to their Compassion children in the Philippines and Ecuador. Lives touched. The executive chef served some weakling from the self-serve ice cream cooler. Life touched. We packed seven Operation Christmas Child boxes last week. Lives touched. A grad student spent her birthday doing homework and grading papers, alone, until some friends invited her over to hang out. Life touched.
It doesn't always take much. A small act can have a huge impact.
May the Lord give us all uncontrollable urges to touch the lives of His children and those who do not yet know Him. Let's do it all in His name.
<>< Katie
PS: I was inspired to write this during church this morning. As I was revising tonight, I was thinking about how it was similar to this post I wrote for Kaitlyn's birthday. I just found out an hour ago that after two and a half years of medical treatment 800 miles from home, Kaitlyn finally will be able to go home this December! What a wonderful Christmas present!
I had an "Elizabeth Moment" the other day. Sarah was sitting beside me in class with a stack of blank paper in her notebook. During the entire 50-minute class I had this barely controllable urge to run my hand along her beautiful paper. I'm a writer; I can't help it. Don't judge; it's the little things in life. As soon as the professor dismissed the class, my left hand shot across the aisle and onto Sarah's notebook. It happened at the exact moment that she was closing her notebook, sandwiching my hand between the new and the used paper. She gave me a weird look, I explained, and the weird look continued. But she let me touch her paper.
Brothers and sisters in Christ, what if had the same urge to touch lives in His name?
Christian told me this story about his first trip to Guatemala. They were serving food outside the garbage dump in Guatemala City. As the dump inhabitants came for food, Christian and some of the other members of his team sanitized their hands.
"The biggest thing we could do for them was to touch them. These people were considered untouchable and when we touched them to sanitize their hands we accepted them," he explained.
Jesus did the same thing in touching the man with leprosy in Matthew 8. He could have said, "You are healed," and it would have been done. He's God. He has the power to do that. But He didn't. He made a point to touch someone that society had seemed untouchable.
Now, I'm not saying run up to everybody and touch them. There are ways to touch people without ever making physical contact.
Jennifer and Amy just sent letters to their Compassion children in the Philippines and Ecuador. Lives touched. The executive chef served some weakling from the self-serve ice cream cooler. Life touched. We packed seven Operation Christmas Child boxes last week. Lives touched. A grad student spent her birthday doing homework and grading papers, alone, until some friends invited her over to hang out. Life touched.
It doesn't always take much. A small act can have a huge impact.
May the Lord give us all uncontrollable urges to touch the lives of His children and those who do not yet know Him. Let's do it all in His name.
<>< Katie
PS: I was inspired to write this during church this morning. As I was revising tonight, I was thinking about how it was similar to this post I wrote for Kaitlyn's birthday. I just found out an hour ago that after two and a half years of medical treatment 800 miles from home, Kaitlyn finally will be able to go home this December! What a wonderful Christmas present!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Wacky Wednesday
"If life is worth living, then it is worth recording."
Classmate: What is that?
I glanced down at the brown bottle in my hand.
Classmate: That's kind of bold.
Katie: Well I am from the North. No, actually, it's root beer. They're serving it in the caf for Oktoberfest.
Mom: I'm bored. I want to eat, but I shouldn't. Maybe I'll just go to bed.
Katie: Read a book, that's what you always told me. Did you ever finish Three Cups of Tea?
Mom: No. I lost it.
Katie: You lost it?
Mom: Maybe it's in my music bag, but I'm not really sure. It might be in my van. No, I know it's not in my van. I think it got swallowed by a log cabin magazine.
Katie: The only thing I can actually throw is a pen.
Chelsea: That's the sign of an English major.
Ron Rash: Galloway, who has already killed the typical Rash body count of about a dozen...
[about his amazing book Serena]
Nikki: Chloe told me to feed my cat. I don't have a cat.
Allyson: What if fish were mini-giraffes swimming around? How different would our world be if all our pets were shaped differently.
Isaac [age 3]: There's a Ternanisarus Rex out the window. See it? Do you see any other ones?
Katie: No, I only see one.
[All of the other adults at the table laughed at me]
Elizabeth [to her boyfriend Andy]: It hurt last time you bit me.
Michael: I tend to not put my mouth on things that can electrocute me.
Caitlin: That's why my hair is curly.
[really the outlets exemplify sound if you're anywhere near them]
Dr. Jones: Bekah's carrying a friend to the hospital.
Katie: That's going to take awhile.
Amy: My goal for this year: to understand Katie.
Katie: Good luck.
Uncle: We just scored in the opening kick off and we've got mini-screen!
Dad: Sarah!
Mom: I'm taping my hockey game. Just a second.
Dad: Rewind!
Katie: At my house we have an actual cheese cutter.
Nikki: What's an actual cheese cutter verses a metaphorical cheese cutter?
Katie: An actually cheese cutter stinks up the place and a metaphorical cheese cutter makes a lot of noise.
Katie: My head hurts.
Jennifer: Take medicine.
Katie: I did.
Jennifer: Take more.
Andy: So are we going to the store or what?
Elizabeth: Yes. We need medium trash bags.
Amy: Medium trash bags.
Andy: Medium trash bags.
Elizabeth: Medium trash bags.
Amy: And Katie needs new Scrabble Cheeze-its.
Elizabeth: No she doesn't. We haven't played with hers yet.
Nikki: Roommie, don't be rude and play Banangrams on the floor with Katie's Scrabble Cheeze-its on then put them back into the box. Be considerate and lick all of the germs off of them before you put them away.
Random man on the phone: I'm not shaving my chest hair. Yeah, it's getting really long. It grew a millimeter already.
[Sign Choir practice]
Amber: We could have one or even two Jesuses...
Katie: Sign Choir goes polytheistic... at least we have Jesus in our songs.
[Ten minutes later]
Girl: Wait, how many Gods?
Queen Emily: Religion 1-0-1: One God!
Jake: SURE! The lactose intolerant girl brings cheesecake!
Katie: Brain fart: what's it called when there's a need and you make it go away.
Nikki: Satisfy.
Jennifer: To.
Katie: You to the need?
Jennifer: Yeah, like the number "two."
Amy: Don't let me forget, I have to mail my Compassion child tomorrow.
Katie: DON'T PUT YOUR COMPASSION CHILD IN THE MAIL! Who do you think she is? Flat Stanley?
Jennifer: WHY is there hair in the microwave?
Elizabeth: It goes there, Jennifer; it makes everything more tasty.
Keith: Katie, I'm cold. And I have that exact same sweatshirt.
Katie: Are you asking me to give you the sweatshirt off of my back?
[Keith nodded sheepishly]
Jennifer: I think Allyson's cough is getting to her ears. I said, "Your phone rang," and she thought I said, "Your padre." It was her dad who called, but I didn't know that.
Katie: Where is my phone?
Andy: In your eye.
Katie: EWW! That would be so germy!
Nikki: Don't point out the cell phone in her eye until you remove the laptop from your own eye.
Katie: It didn't work.
Nikki: It would have worked if I had done it.
Katie: That's right because you're better than me at everything.
Nikki: Except being skinny, using random German words and pretending they're English, writing really long blog posts, sanitizing light switches, and not licking things on impulse.
Shellie Warren: But as you mature, hopefully, you will encounter men of character and quality. The bad news is that they may not be your husband. The good news is that they very well could bring you one, two, or ten steps closer to him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)