Wacky Wednesday

Author's Note: The following is a collection of real quotations heard in conversation or taken from books over the last month. Some names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent. <>< Katie

Jennifer: EEEEEKKK! We're going to Nepal!
Katie: No, we're not. We're going to McDonald's.

Grandma: Lord love a duck!

John Boy [to Susie Ann]: That was pretty good for a woman from the North.
Katie: Ouch!
Gavin: You just lost your ghostwriter.
John Boy: No! You aren't from the North.
Katie: I'm practically from Canada.
John Boy: North isn't a place you're from, it's a way you act. You don't act like you're from the North.
Katie: I'm more offended by that because you're telling me I'm untrue to my heritage.
John Boy: No, it's a good thing.
Katie: Just take your soda and go away.
John Boy: Soda! You are from the North.
Gavin: 'Round here we cal it Pepsi.

Mom [to an empty bench]: Why are you smoking?

Katie: You are a good driver.
Nikki: Thanks, that's really affirming to me.
Katie: I know. That's why I keep saying it.
Nikki: Katie saw me when I was in my panicky driver mode. Katie, even though I don't drive the interstate back from Melia's, I know how to do it now. Correctly.
Allyson: Wait. You drove in her panties?

Mara: Down South, they panic and buy bread if the weather gets cold. Up North, we panic, buy buns, and grill out if it gets warm.

[Airport gate kept changing]
Sasha: BINGO!
Mom: There's no "A" in Bingo!
Nikki: Josh Groban, he's like a dramatic singer.

Katie: People need to come up with new encouragement.
Amber: But you're beautiful. No, wait, that's the encouragement for the pregnant not the jobless.
[Go tell a pregnant woman she's beautiful. She probably hasn't been told today].

Katie: I'm trying to talk to Jesus right now.
Stephen: Oh! Sorry!
Katie: It's ok. He forgives you.
Stephen: Oh good.
Katie: I don't.
Stephen: You need to talk to Him a bit more.

Jett: Are you putting that tramp color [eyeliner] on Katie?

Katie: This looks like an EKG.
Amy: Is that a Bible translation?

[Ricky, Garret on the couch]
Rebekah: Man, you guys should eat chocolates together.
Katie: Are you trying to get my pen working?

Grandma: Who are you talking to now?
Katie: No one. I'm making fun of you on the internet. [Twitter]
Jett: Can't we text cute boys instead?

Annie: At some point in life you're going to be acquainted with Vicodin. It's going to be awful, but you'll have to do it.

Rebekah: Don't spill on the carpet or I'll cut your head off.
Jim: You know what? I'm sick of my head anyway.

Grandma: That hurted me.
Katie: [Pointing to my ears] That hurted me too!

"Never let a hurried lifestyle disturb the relationship of abiding in Him." -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Jan. 23

Jett: What smells like bacon?
Mom: My bacon.

Hunter: People from my church call me all the time and leave these long messages so my voicemail fills up after three or four messages. I know they are hurting and they can just say, "Pastor call me back." Instead they go into all these details and the cell phone isn't going to talk back anyway.

Katie: Anyone want anything?
Garret: Water. No ice. No ice!
Katie: Any particular color cup?
Garret: Green if you have it.
Katie: We only have pink.
Garret: Awe man! I don't know if I even want water anymore. Don't give me pink!

Rebekah: When I lift up the couch, look and see if there's anything there.
Katie: There's nothing there.
Rebekah: I have a really good grip. Look again.

Jennifer: I'm so done with homework. I wish I could just grind my teeth! [Beat] Don't quote that because it made no sense.

Jett: Chocolate helps everything.
Christina: Cheese always makes me feel sicker.
Jett: Cheese and chocolate are not the same thing.
Christina: They both have the "Ch" sound!
Mom: That's about it. Cherries. Chimmy chungas. Try those, too.

[Dusk]
Stranger on the Street: Do you have your night-vision goggles on?
Katie: No.
SS: Good girl! [High five. Walking away] No wonder you're in college.

Katie: What should I draw? The verse talks about hospitality.
Amy: Hum... me?
Katie: I'll draw a sun.

Billy Bob: It was funny then. It just makes no sense now.
Katie: Well, I'll just laugh when you walk down the hall.
Billy Bob: [Excited] Would you!? Everyone else does! You'll be part of the crowd.

Jim: You can look up your "god" on the internet all you want, but I'm building a relationship with mine.

Mom: He [Hank the cat] has to keep an eye on you so you don't leave too.
Katie: He's using an eye-tooth rather than an eyeball.
Mom: Whatever works.

Rebekah: I'd rather sleep in Jim's bed than Wes's bed.
Katie: I'd rather sleep in neither.
Rebekah: Well, yes, that would be ideal.

Julie: I don't mind feet in the pool.
Katie: Everything's ok in the pool.
Ricky: Woah! Woah! Woah! That's not a rule of thumb.

Mom: This is what cabin-living is all about: pick up the furniture and move it where you want it.

Katie: Someone just knocked on the door.
Garret: It was Jesus. He's knocking on the door of your heart.
Katie: He's already got the key.
Garret: Maybe there's a deadbolt.
Katie: There are four, and He has those keys too.

Adam: People are like Tootsie Roll Pops, sometimes it takes a few tries to get to their soft center. This doesn't mean go around licking people! It means don't give up.

Wacky Wednesday

Author's Note: The following come from real conversations. They are the crazy, funny, or profound things heard in everyday, sober conversation or discovered in a book. If you ever hear a great/weird conversation, please feel free to send it to me. Who knows, it may be featured in a Wacky Wednesday! <>< Katie

Katie: I'm going to write that down for Wacky Wednesday.
Jennifer: No! You have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is Wednesday.
Katie: No, no, no Wacky Wednesday is only the first Wednesday of the month.
Jennifer: Well, tomorrow is the first Wednesday of the month you've been with me!

Allyson: I don't know why "bewares" camed out.

Dad: Do you need any help with anything before I go to bed?
Uncle Bill: You could brush my teeth for me or take out my contacts. I'll just lay there.
Dad: I'm going to hurt you in the morning.

Katie: What's the weather like outside?
Elizabeth: It's like medium.

Mom: Ooooh! Do these stoplights tweet like the ones in Baptist Country? Oh, no, those are real birds.

Katie: You've got candy all over your face.
Amy: Your face is candy!

Alex: You have to assert your manhood.
Jennifer: I don't have any manhood to search.

Dad: Do you growl at them sometimes?
Laura: [Sheepishly] Yeah. [Proudly] I even bark at them sometimes!

Laura: The capital of Honduras is To-gucci-golf-ball.

"I don't think I'm a failure because I have had fears, and I certainly don't think that it is a requirement for Christians to forgo fear in order to be good followers of Christ. I believe fear is the natural response to the question satan whispered, and I find that every day I have to adjust my footing consciously to move toward Jesus." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 4

Sara: You [Katie] only have good ideas today. And on Wacky Wednesday.

Alex: Katie, what would you say are Jennifer's top three qualities?
Jennifer: You can't just limit it to three; I have so many. Humility is one of them.

[SC, 16, counting on her fingers]
Katie: Do you need me to take off my shoes?
SC: Huh?
[explained]
SC: But why did she make it sound like an insult?

Girl, 13: There are no cows here, so--!

Amy: What is that?
Katie: It's a flower on the top of the mountain. It was my attempt at being artsy. Apparently I'm not as good as Allyson.
Amy: No, I like it. I was just... confused.

Boy, 11: You can stay here and you won't even have to fold laundry!

Jennifer: I like your ring. Who made it for you? [She had]
Katie: I don't know. Some stranger.
Jennifer: Stranger than who?
Katie: Allyson.
Allyson: What?

Allyson: Wait! Was this morning Wednesday?

"The world is not going to teach us how to love God; only God can do that." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 43

David: The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.
Rebekah: That's what little girls are made of!

Jennifer: My right foot writes well.

Carson: I don't really understand why girls like making their heads look like horse butts.
Girls: What?!
Carson: Ponytails. Where is a pony's tail? The butt.

Mother: We could cage him [the dog].
Son: We could cage Brother.

Rebekah: Like you licking Nikki?
Katie: NO!!
Rebekah: Sorry, Nikki licking you?

Mark: You [Katie] take the left over brownies. They'll look better on you than they will one me.

Katie: Ok, I'm going to leave it blank.
Alex: Go to the bank.
Jennifer: Why are you going to the bank?! It's 11pm. They're closed.

Katie: I have helicopter parents: they hover but they don't choke.

Allyson: I don't think we were acting too strange.
Katie: We were pretty normal for us but strange for most people.
Allyson [light bulb]: That was it!

Nikki: MW did it, and if he can do it then so can I, maybe even teach at a better university.
Katie: Woah, woah, woah! First, did you just compare yourself to All Star English Major MW? Second, did you just dis our alma mater?

"Faith for my deliverance is not faith in God. Faith means, whether I am visibly delivered or not, I will stick to my belief that God is love. There are some things only learned from a fiery furnace." - Oswald Chambers in Run Today's Race

Allyson: Are you going to get your haircut?
Jennifer: I don't know where.
Allyson: Tah-tay-tow?

Neal: Are you blogging?
Katie: Are you making fun of me?
Neal: I don't make fun of people.
Katie: Neither do I.
Neal: You're not sarcastic either.

Sarah: He's not Slut Bucket; he's Garret the Ferret.
Rebekah: He's not a rodent!
Sarah: He's more of a rodent than a slut.
Garret: Hey, now!

Allyson: Katie's just so cool. She has good body language, too, and her thinking is so... inter... intermaculate. It's real cool. And, Katie, I like her walk.

"We don't just want to get them out of the dumpsite; we want to get the dumpsite out of their hearts." - Tania Meza

Bird Brain

A few months ago Rich (Nikki's pastor) awoke to a tap, tap, tap, and some clawing on his bedroom window.  He opened the blinds to find a bird trapped between to panes of glass.

Unfortunately, the exterior pane cannot be opened from the outside.  Instead, he hoped the bird would be patient and stay away from his hands as he opened each pane individually.

You see where this is going?

He opened the interior pane and, sure enough, the bird flew in.  He spent the next half hour trying to get this bird out of the parsonage.

We are that bird.  Some how we've trapped ourselves.  Rather than waiting for God to complete His rescue mission, we escape at the first chance we get, only to realize it's not an escape at all but a larger trap.

Luckily, that's not the end for us.  God's willing to do what it takes to get us, His little birdies, out of the bondage that is our parsonage.

Rich used a broom.
God used Christ.

<>< Katie

Goal: Prayer Warrior

Sorry to dwell on the whole "Katie doesn't have a job" theme but it's kind of my life right now.  I want to be transparent in this struggle.

A long time ago I realize that if when I make it to the other side of this awful desert, I will be one of two people:
1. A cynical God-hater
2. A prayer warrior

The first one's easy.  It's easy to be mad when you say, "Here I am; send me!" and you're not going anywhere.  It's easy to get frustrated, host pity parties, and play the blame game when doors slam repeatedly.

But lucky for me, I've got friends making sure I come out to be the latter.

Friends all across the country praying me through.  Friends checking up on me to see how I'm doing and encouraging me.  I am blessed.  Plus, I've got friends who serve as great role models for that prayer warrior thing.

Amy: I wish tomorrow was Saturday.
Nikki: No, no, no we're not wishing away days!
Amy: I'm not wishing it away.  I'm wanting two Saturdays in a row.  Let's pray about that.
From the other room, Stacy heard the word "Pray" and came running in.
Stacy: Pray about what?

That's who I want to be: the girl who seeks out and seizes every available opportunity to pray.  Not just at church or small group.  Not just before meals or when people share prayer requests.  Every minute of every day.  Alone, in groups, for needs voiced, and those unspokens.

I remember watching a brother and sister in Christ converse.  He was borderline upset, angry.  She was super upset, teary.  He set aside his own situation to slowly calm her down.  As their conversation drew to a close and her eyes dried, he reached over, grabbed her shoulder, and lifted her concerns to the Lord.

That's who I want to be.  The friend who doesn't just say, "I'll pray for you" but does--right then and there.

I've had the urge to do it yet I've swallowed it.  I want the courage to act on that prompting of the Holy Spirit.

I don't want to be cynical and crabby for the rest of my life.  It'd be too easy.

So instead, I'm going to work on this prayer warrior thing.  It's not a destination but rather a journey.  There will always be room for improvement.  It's hard and uncomfortable.  But it's necessary.

Will you help me practice?  Leave me a prayer request in the comments section (or email it to me or Tweet it or text or your contact method of choice) and you bet it'll be prayed.  Maybe even more than once. ;-)

<>< Katie

Koolaid

I had my choice between going to church with Nikki or going to church with Melia.

Really, I was just happy to get to worship with my friends on a Wednesday night.

It was decided I'd go with Nikki so we could spend some extra time together before I had to leave.

The Bible study was good.  I learned.  I saw the congregation's hunger for the Lord, even though they make my grandparents look young.  I enjoyed time with my friend and listening to her pastor teach.  It was good.

When we got home, Melia was in awe of what happened at her church.  The more she spoke, the more I realized I made the wrong decision.  The scripture, the truths, the presentation seemed like God had hand-crafted that sermon for me... and I wasn't there.

I didn't ask why.  Rather, I was upset.

God, why wasn't I there?  You had the power to put me there.  I was torn on which church to attend.  It would have been very easy for the conclusion to have been the opposite, and I would have clearly seen Your hand.

I don't know why I wasn't there.  Maybe because Nikki and I needed some bonding time.  Maybe I needed to be encouraged by the old people eager to hear the Word.  Maybe the they needed to be encouraged by us youngin's.  Maybe "Uncle Bill" needed a new listener for his "the dog ate my hearing aid" story.  Maybe Melia needed to summarize the sermon for me.

Maybe it was selfish for me to have wished the evening had gone differently.

Do you ever do that?  Tell God He's the focus of your night but then get upset when He doesn't do what you wanted Him to do?

Guilty,
<>< Katie

PS: This post has nothing to do with Koolaid.  But it happens to be what I am drinking right now, and I could not come up with a better title.

Wacky Wednesday

Author's Note: the following is a collection of ridiculous statements or deeply profound conclusions that I have heard, seen, or been told over the last month.  Some are meant in jest.  Some are not.  As always, some have been forgotten before they could be written down.  My deepest apologies.  Enjoy!
<>< Katie

Tracy: We cannot prevent the storm but we can prepare for it.

Neal: Have you already eaten?
Katie: Yeah, I ate over there.
Neal: Oh.
Katie: But if I sit next to Stacy long enough I might have to eat again.

Katie: Your shirt's crooked. I would have told you that immediately when you walked in but I was kind of like, "Meh, it's Nikki, at least she's wearing clothing."

Mom [walking into an empty kitchen]: So then we... wait!  Where is everybody?  It's the rapture and they've all been taken but I've been left behind!

Nikki: I got some llama slobber on my formal dress.

Pete Wilson: Your crisis will become less of a crisis when you replace fear of the unknown with a healthy fear of the known God.

Girl [age 10]: How do you stop turkeys from stargazing?

Amy: I wish tomorrow was Saturday.
Nikki: Hey, now, at this point we're not wishing away days.
Amy: No, just two Saturdays in a row.  Let's pray about that.
Stacy [running in from the other room]: Pray about what?

Men: Bro picture!
Michael: Let's stand somewhere with pretty flowers in the background.

Neal: Does everyone who sits at this table have to be loud?!

Katie: I can drink and dance at the same time; I'm Lutheran.

Amy: Jennifer!  Can you get the bug spray?  I don't want to lose sight of this spider!
Nikki: Don't smash him in the carpet!  That won't come out of the carpet!
Nikki, Amy, Jennifer: AHHHHHHH!!
Nikki: Wait!  We have shoes!  Why don't we use shoes?
Amy: Katie!
[Apparently I'm the only one with shoes]

Professor: The brain can only absorb what the seat can endure.

Amy: Katie, can I have another Crunch bar?
Elizabeth: Did Amy just use the word "coinstar"?

Martin Luther: God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone but also on the trees and in the flowers and clouds and stars.

Neal: I am like an elephant.
Katie: What does that mean?!  You're huge and you have a long trunk?

Chase: We are wired for worship.  We are made to worship. But often times we worship what was created rather than the Creator.

English misspeak and mock...
Katie: When you speak three languages, we'll talk!  And in one of the other ones.

Anonymous Female Friend: In heaven we will never have to wear a bra again!

Elizabeth: I'll take a coffee.  Do you have any specialty coffee?
Waiter: Decaf.

Elizabeth: And I want apple butter.  I'm requesting it.  The menu says "on request."

Teresa: Be intentional with your relationships and be intentional with your time unless you want them to be stolen away.

Jennifer: I want to buy someone to play guitar for me while I fall asleep.
Katie: Usually when the words "buy" and "someone" are put together we use the word "hire."
Jennifer: Ok, I'm going to hire someone to play guitar for me and eventually they'll learn to do it for free and then they'll volunteer.

Keith: I was averaging a book a week in that class.  I was booking it!

David: Ultimately life continues regardless of our desire for time to stand still.  God has given us each day so we should take joy in those moments.

Amy: It's like we always tell Katie: mockery is the greatest form of love.
Elizabeth: Katie, they are lying to you.  They just want to make fun of you.

"A story is only sad if there's no happy ending.  I guess I always believe in that ending." - Dr. Julia Cates from Magic Hour by Kristin Hannah

Mom: I don't know what brushing my teeth has to do with Christmas.

Pastor Russ: We don't enjoy the time in between.  It feels like a wasteland.

Adam [offering a poptart]: Want some?
Sara: What kind is it?
Adam: Cherry.
Sara: Dairy?
David: Yes, earring.

Nikki: Katie, I was really thirsty, so I pretended we were in a foreign country and drank some of your water.

Micah [preteen]: Um... don't slip.  Do you want to have kids?

Neal: Remember, the longer the story the more embellishing.

Wacky Wednesday

Christian: The most difficult times are often the most sacred not because of the difficulty we face but because difficulties allow us to more boldly cling to the most sacred thing of all: the hope in Jesus Christ who died, rose, and lives and reigns forever.

Sara: I got disowned by David last night because I haven't seen Star Wars.
Katie: I haven't seen it either.
Sara: David! Katie Ax hasn't seen Star Wars either!
David: But I'm not dating Katie Ax.
Katie: Thank goodness!

Mom: Katie, I wish we had gone to Ruby Tuesday's so you could meet the bartender.  He's really friendly.

E [age 10]: School's hard.  I have lots of homework.
Katie: It's because you're getting closer to The G-word.
E: I want to graduate.  Why don't you want to graduate?
Katie: Well... uh.... It's scary.
E: Is it because you're getting old?
Katie: Yes!  Like your dad! [Neal]


Mom: Do you want sugar in your coffee?
Grandma: Yes, please.
Mom: White or brown?
Grandma: Brown.
Mom: Brown sugar.
Grandma: Oh, no.  White.  I thought you were talking about coffee.
[What's white coffee?]

Katie [running my hand down a photo]: I want to be here.
Jennifer: You are here!
Katie: I mean, in this photo.

Josh: The mark I made on you is still there.  It's like I bought you.
Emily: It's because I don't bathe.

Katie: I really hope that like four years from now when we're not roommates anymore facebook still exists so we can go view our friendship and see these crazy conversations we had with each other from across the room.
Jennifer: We're not going to be friends anymore?
Katie: I said roommates.
Jennifer: Awe, man!  I was getting excited!

John: Even when you get married and have kids.  Not in that order.  Wait.  Yes.  In that order.

Elizabeth: Katie, do you have any stamps?
Katie: Yes.
Elizabeth: And after I use your stamp can I use your mailing service?
Katie: Yes.
[I hand her a roll of stamps.  She looks at them pensively]
Elizabeth: Do I just put one?
Katie: No, you put them all.
Jennifer: You forgot to lick it!

Saxon: Everyone has some singing fish in their closet.

Maegan: Is it Coach K or Coach K-A-Y?  You know, the coach for UNC.
Friend: OH MY GOSH!  He's the coach for Duke!  I disown you!  Don't talk to me for a few hours!

Katie: Cat. Puking. On. Table.

Sara: Why do we say "as"?  There's no z.  I mean, I know the alternative, but why?
David: I think it's an American thing.  My parents don't enunciate the "s" like most people do.
Katie: So it sounds like your parents are swearing at you every time they say "ass"?
David: Wacky Wednesday!

Jennifer: My Bible's really dusty.  That's never a good sign.  But it's because I've been reading my little one.

Katie: I have five pounds of Nicaraguan coffee.
Grandma: Five pounds of McDonalds coffee?

Ashley: For our skit we could sing "A Whole New World" and act out The Little Mermaid in the background.

Katie: Why are there Wheat Thins in our fridge again?
Amy: Apparently Andy's been hanging out with Allyson.
Andy: I didn't do it!  Oh, yeah, I did.  Oops.

Emily: When I'm a doctor I'm only going to treat strep throat and ear infections.
Josh: Good choice, refer out that nasty flu.

Jennifer: Never mind.  Don't worry about it.  I don't understand myself half of the time.
Katie: Good because neither do the rest of us.

Mom: And we'll make Laura's room the bunk room.
Katie: Sure, put my husband and me next to all of the screaming kids.
Mom: Yeah, why not?  Most of them will be yours anyway.

Dr. T: Good thing you didn't get into grad school otherwise we'd have nothing to talk about over lunch.
Katie: I know, we'd have to stare at each other awkwardly.

Katie: I'm getting sick, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Life goes on.

Amy: Pop quiz: what's a noun?
Jennifer: A person, place, or thing.
Amy: What is a pronoun?
Jennifer: Rock, mineral, or vegetable?
Amy: When do you use a comma?
Jennifer: To separate pauses.
Amy: No, clauses.  Nikki, what's eight times eight.
Nikki: Sixzzzzhhhhzzzhhhhugh grunt.
Katie: Sixty-Four.
[pause]
Nikki: It is sixty-four!  I knew it was sixty-four!

Mom: You speak lots of tongues, shut up.
Katie: I don't remember "shut up" in the Bible.

[Getting in the car]
Jennifer: Elizabeth!  Sit next to me!
Andy: Nikki! Sit next to me!
Katie: No one wants me to sit by them.
Andy: Katie, you can walk.
Elizabeth: Andy!
Andy: --walk over here and hug me while I hold this door open for you.

B [age 5]: Let's get him!
College Girls: With that?
B: Weapons!
CG: What kind of weapons?
B: Fake weapons!

Bob Lenz: Worship is not supposed to be our service.  Service is supposed to be our worship.

God Could Vanish the Storm

As I'm sure you've seen on the news, Baptist Country has been pelted with storms over the last few weeks.

It seems every other day I see a facebook update from my sister (ten hours from here) that they're in the bathroom for another tornado warning.

Last week we were supposed to get really bad storms during the wee morning hours.  Unlike at my sister's college, my school doesn't have a good tornado plan.  That made me nervous.

I was checking the doppler to see what we should be expecting over night.  The storm covered the whole map.  It was more colorful than a sunset.  Yellow, red, green...

When I hit "play" to watch the storms roll over the bed where I wanted to be catching some zzzzz, something went wrong.  The entire storm vanished, leaving just the map.  The map was perfectly clear.

"I could do that, you know," God whispered in my ear.

I thought about it for about and realized how cool it would be if God did make the storm disappear.  He's done it before.

Later in the evening, I went out on the porch for some quiet time with God before I went to bed.  It was beautiful!  The pre-storm weather where the sky's getting dark and the wind is picking up, but there's no real storm yet.

When I came back later, Allyson and Nikki had two videos for me to watch.

Nikki's video was a terrifying video of one of the 150 tornadoes from the same storm.

Allyson's video was an updated doppler.  The green band of storms headed for our town had stopped moving.  The bands following it broke apart and dodged our town.  The first band disintegrated.  Nothing was going to hit us.

God had vanished our storm!

We got the beautiful pre-storm weather but no actual storm.  Sometimes I wish life were like that.  I'd be willing to take this beautiful pre-storm weather that is no real post-graduation plans as long as I knew that the actual storm of planlessness would vanish and a plan would appear. 

He could do that, you know.

And maybe He will.  But still I'm fretting.

I've seen God's faithfulness in the midst of storms.  Literal weather storms and figurative life storms.  Why am I having such a hard time trusting Him amidst this pre-storm chaos of a plan-less post graduation?

<>< Katie

PS: For some reason I do not understand, God decided against vanishing the storms elsewhere in the country.  Friends, our brothers and sisters are hurting.  Their worlds have, quite literally, been turned upside down.  There are organizations such as Samaritan's Purse on the ground helping to pick up the pieces; if you are able, please offer your help as well.  If you are not able, definitely be in prayer!

Wacky Wednesday

David: Katie, I especially like the Wacky Wednesday quotes when Nikki's mocking you because they're so funny!

Heather: Evan, get a canoe and row home.
Evan: I would love that but I think it's uphill.
Katie: It wouldn't matter; you'd be in a canoe!

Katie: It's "Yo quiero verTe."
Neal: Yeah, V-E-R-D-E.
Katie: No, V-E-R-T-E.  It's "I want to see You" not "I want green."

Andy: What is this?  Do I look like a maid? Or a butler?
Amy: The first one.
Nikki: Maid.

Caitlin: You exchanged hats!  That's like a promise.
Michael: Yeah!  It's a promise ring for gangsters.

Katie: Is that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on your shirt?

Professor: James, do you know your Bible well?
James: No.
Professor: That's because you didn't grow up Lutheran.

Jennifer: Elizabeth, I can feel your heart beat through my butt!

Manolo: Say, "Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua."
Neal: Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua.
Katie: Neal!  Stop swearing at us!
Neal: What?
Katie: He's teaching you naughty words!
Neal: Nah!  This is a man of the Lord!
[an hour later Manolo did intentionally teach Neal the wrong word]

Nikki: I made a phalic image in this poem and he totally caught it!
Katie: He's a boy.  I'm not surprised.
Nikki: No, it was a Biblical image!
Katie: He's a boy and a div school student.

Sara: Katie's always brave and tries the mystery salad from the stir fry line.
[That's really just in here for Mom]

[I'm cutting cookie cake with a butter knife.  Andy handed me the machete we use to cut watermelon]
Katie: Will you make the bleeding stop when I cut myself with this knife?
Andy: Yes, but only this once.
Katie: Do you want some cookie cake without any blood on it?
Andy: No, I want blood on mine.
Katie: Well, I'll supply the cookie cake. You'll have to supply the blood.

Boy: I thought it was a fart.  But then it rolled down my leg.
Mother: And onto the carpet.
Brother: Yeah, I'll put that on my facebook: my brother pooped on the carpet.
Mother: No.
Boy: Please, Mom?

Ted: Uno, dos, tros.

Mo: Oh, did you see?  The directions are in plastic, too.
Jessica: You can't read plastic?
Mo: I mean, English.

Nikki: Do you like your sandwich cut?
Amy: Yes, like animals.
Nikki: You're going to get triangles.  Four of them.  Actually, I changed my mind and cut your P, B, and J like a pizza.

Erica: Where's Sherry from?  America?  I thought she was from Australia.

Sara: Are you stretching or giving me a hug?
David: Yes.

Heather: God is so good amidst all this crap.
Katie: She just said a naughty word in the prayer room!
Anonymous Friend: Hell, yeah!

Katie: Nikki!  You always walk away when I'm talking!
Nikki: I know that your stories are long enough that I can walk away and come back to hear the real point.

Amy: Ah!  I just got my phone charger stuck in the air conditioner vent.

James: I didn't do the assigment.
Professor: Well, that's what we expect from males.

Dad: I had a bad dream last night.  I was graduating college and I didn't have a job.
Katie: I'm so glad your nightmare is my reality.

Neal: If you don't perform your role, our body is not whole.  So don't let satan convince you that you're insignificant or something you did last week means you're not capable for being part of the body this week.  Without you, our joy is not complete and we can't enjoy this trip.  Maybe you're a pinky or maybe you're a heart; you're still part of the body.

A Lenten Promise

It started in November when it was still sporadically warm enough to wear shorts.  We wanted to avoid No-Shave-November to keep our options open.

Enter No-Soda-November.  For the month of November, my suitemates and I gave up soda.  There was a little bit of cheating forgetting but, as a whole, we did well.  Not going to lie, on December first I had root beer mixed with milk.  It sounds gross, but it's delicious.  I don't think I've had any soda since.

In December, Allyson and Jennifer gave up fried foods.  A little bit more failure.  Always justified in some bizarre way or another.

In January, the two gave up eating after eight pm.  By now the other four of us were beginning to realize this habit of giving something up was more about stubbornness than it was health.  More about temporary sacrifice and self control than building better habits.  We started to convince them that exceptions could be made.  "This fresh out of the oven cookie is still part of dinner.  Dessert just wasn't ready yet because we at dinner at 7:30."

In February, the shortest month, Jennifer and Allyson started their hardest mission: no sweets.  No chocolate, no desserts, no mochas, no Valentines candy...  They began to consume potato chips at the speed of light.  I kid you not, Jennifer ate an entire bag of cheddar Lays in one sitting.  Around the middle of February, they went to Taco Bell and declared cinnamon twists chips rather than sweets.  Allyson even poured the remaining cinnamon and sugar into her mouth.  Needless to say, we declared them failures.  For the rest of the month, they hid their sweet-eating from judgmental persons.

They did not give up anything for the month of March.  Ironically, the month in which Lent starts.

Today, Ash Wednesday, a lot of the Christian community around the world is sacrificing something.  However, unlike Jennifer and Allyson, our sacrifice is not out of stubbornness.  Our sacrifice is to honor the One who sacrificed His life on the cross.  Our sacrifice is about growing spiritually closer to our Savior.

Figuring out what to give up for Lent is always a challenge for me.  I try to avoid giving up anything food-related because we'll just be honest: I'm a skinny kid.  Skinny kids and food sacrifices don't sit well with the rest of the world.

Two years ago I gave up facebook... and learned refreshing the page actually helps me think.
Last year I vowed to blog no more frequently than every other day... a habit I have kept.

This year I'm thinking about:
- giving up my car to save on gas... but I only drive the car pool one Sunday morning out of every three
- giving up socks... that was Nikki's idea
- giving up the color purple... I might get in trouble for public indecency.
- giving up my thesis... ooh, I like that idea
- getting more exercise... can you see this skinny kid on a treadmill?
- drinking only milk and water... oh, wait, that's pretty much covers it.
- giving up breathing... what's that?

For Lent this year, I'm going to work on two things:
1 - spending more time in serious prayer, ideally in the form of 20 minutes or more a day in our campus prayer room.
2 - affirming or encouraging at least one person every day, perhaps through the mail or in other Project 7-like ways.

What are you giving up or adding for Lent?

<>< Katie

PS: Guess what?  Today's Ash Wednesday meaning... in 40 days I get to go home for Easter!  (I haven't been home since Christmas).

Wacky Wednesday

Katie: Sometimes broken things are worth keeping.
Nikki: Like us.

Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt.  Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched.  Or you could lick the road where everyone walks.  Or you could lick David's face.  Do all of these sound ridiculous?  So does licking Cinderella's castle!

Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke?  That's a waste of money.  We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now.  Thank you.

Elizabeth: Jennifer!  Do not chip clip your eyelashes!

Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog.  I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.

Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson!  Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]

Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.

Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.

Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.

Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language.  This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?

Hannah: What's Katie's last name?  Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?!  It's not AxelTON.

Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!

Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...

Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.

Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie.  I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh!  Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?

Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I  am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!

Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.

Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.

Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book.  And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?

[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer.  She was watching a video.  Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself.  Or you're four.  Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]

Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?

Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.

Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.

Lauren: Oh, man!  This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking.  It intimidated me.  I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.

Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner.  I forfeit dinner.

[Andy was studying.  I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!

Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story?  Lord God Almighty.

Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!

Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility.  It's like His calling card.

Hypocrite

Nikki asked me to write a very transparent short piece about on campus interactions with non-Christians.  She wanted me to write those things that I'd never say out loud to anyone.  A bunch of us had similar assignments that would be recorded as sound clips over videos of campus.

As I pondered this assignment, I was immediately drawn to the Great Divide that is the cafeteria salad bar.  Our school has a long-standing joke that the salad bar divides the campus: Christian, non-athletes on one side; non-Christian, athletes on the other.  Of course, there are exceptions, but this is the stereotype.

Sometimes I forget there are non-Christians here, too.  But then I walk on the wrong side of the salad bar to get some yogurt. Instantly I feel judged and unwelcome.  Like I'm supposed to be perfect because I love Jesus.  I'm supposed to always love, always care, and always be willing to help. 

"I'm not perfect," I want to shout.  Like that's an excuse.  An excuse to exhibit un-Christ-like behavior.  An excuse to be inconsiderate.  An excuse to judge.

It's not them, it's me who's doing the judging.  I shoot evil glares when I see someone struggling in class.  I avoid non-Christians like they have some kind of contagious disease I'm going to catch just from looking them in the eye.

Some of my close family members aren't Christians; they're not poisonous.  I hug, love, and serve them.  Why can't I do the same for my peers?

The night the video played and my northern accent ran through the full auditorium I realized that we divide ourselves even there at worship.  I had accidentally chosen a seat behind four boys who... well, aren't from my side of the salad bar.

They sat an empty seat between each of them so that their legs in athletic shorts or sweatpants could be spread apart.  They were so buff they could have swallowed me whole if they had wanted to. 

The head of the man right in front of me blocked my view of the speaker.  The speaker who looks like the stereotypical Jesus and has my same haircut.  Instead of marveling at these things, I was stuck staring at this guy's backwards baseball cap with our mascot on it.  Our mascot that looks like he's sharting.

He wasn't the only one.  Someone near me, potentially one of the four athletes who could swallow me whole, let one rip.  I didn't hear it.  I just smelled it.  Check your shorts, dude!

My dad's the king of SBDs.  I grew up surrounded by rancid rear-end smells.  If I have to breathe in through my mouth, it's bad!  It was bad!

"Some of my family members are not Christians.  I hug, love, and serve them.  Why can't I do the same for my peers?"

You hypocrite!

For the next hour I watched Mr. Swallow Me Whole.  He had his Bible with him.  After flipping to the scripture passage for the night, he handed it to his friend two seats over.  Then he pulled out his "assorted electronic device" and read along with the Jesus-twin speaker.  He removed his hat when we prayed.  He pulled the "Statue of Liberty" and sang along.  He even gave an "Amen!"

You hypocrite!

You talk about destroying the salad bar divide and you build a brick wall between you and the seat in front of you!  All because you're scared.  Scared that such a large man might have a heart for Christ.  Scared that your brother might swallow you whole.  Scared that God hears both of your prayers.  Katie, that's ridiculous.

Mr. Swallow Me Whole, it was a joy to worship behind you last week.  Thank you for not biting off my head when I realized I was a hypocrite.  Let's do it again sometime.  But maybe I'll bring some air freshener.

<>< Katie

Wacky Wednesday

Allyson: I had to put studs in my ears because my right ear was growing up.
Jennifer: Really?  Getting more mature, too?
Katie: Is it going to graduate high school?

Andy: Katie, go home.
Katie: I am home.  You can leave.

Nikki: The way Katie plays with hair stresses me out.

Nikki: NO PDA!
Elizabeth: That wasn't PDA!  He blew a raspberry on my cheek!  There's no affection!

Katie: Nikki, I find it really easy to appreciate you when I don't see you.

Katie [voice]: Andy, if you're in the bathroom for more than five minutes, I'm calling 911.
[Five minutes later]
Katie [text]: It's been five minutes.  I'm calling 911.
Andy [text]: I am 911!
Katie [voice]: ANDY!
Andy [voice... from the bathroom]: What?
Katie: This boy's been in my bathroom for more than five minutes.

Katie: You guys can come to my wedding, but it won't be dry.
Jennifer: Then I'm bringing a poncho.

Matt: Missions is praying, giving, and going.  If you're not a missionary, you're a mission field.

Nikki: Half the things they talk about in that song we don't do on campus. ["Cheats" by Carrie Underwood]
Katie: Break into cars.  Slash tires.
Andy: Listen to country music.

Amber: Is it weird that I don't like being complemented on my interpreting because I don't want to interpret?
Katie: No.  It's like me being complemented on my poetry.

Elizabeth: Katie, while you're just standing there, would you make some chocolate chip cookies please? [We don't have an oven]

Elizabeth: Why can't we just defrost the dough in the oven?
Nikki: Because the oven is not a defroster.
Elizabeth: Then put them in the microwave.
Amy: This IS college!  I'll call my mom.  Mom, this is an emergency!  Do we have to thaw the cookie dough before we make them?  The directions say to thaw completely but we want cookies NOW!

Katie: I color my hair so I don't get confused for my sister.
Nikki: I never get confused for my sister.  Mostly because I'm twice her size.
Jennifer: Dye it--
Nikki: Diet?
Jennifer: --red.

Allyson: Guys, it sounds and feels like there's a thunderstorm in my stomach.
Jennifer: Oooh!  I want to hear it!
Katie: Is there lightning too?

Nikki: Katie, I don't understand you sometimes.  I wish I were you sometimes.

Church member: Where's your baby?
New Father: We took her back.
College student: Did you get your money back?
New Father: No, you always lose money on those kinds of things.

Nikki: I'd like to make an announcement: It's the day before Tuesday.  It's Monday.

Katie: What does it say?
Stephen: Avada Kedavra.
Sara: You just killed Katie Ax!
Katie: AHHH!  That's ok.  God gave me new life.

Katie: Better [dropping a computer] on a glass table than on my head.

Amy: Make origami.
Katie: I don't know how to make any origami that's pretty.
Jennifer: Like me.
Katie: If I knew origami, I would make a pretty you.  Or if I were your parents.
Jennifer, Amy: What did you say?
Katie: I said what you thought I said.
Amy: You said, 'your pants?'

Denaj: Jesus is a great editor.

Matt: God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.

Katie: I'm donating blood tomorrow.
Andy: Are you going to let me start your IV?
Katie: Are you going to be there?
Andy: No.
Katie: Then no.
Andy: Do you have good veins?
Katie [rolling up my sleeve to look]: Yes?
Andy: I could hit them with a needle from across the room.  Yes!

Jennifer: I want to say something funny so you will write it in your nerdy notebook.
Nikki, Katie: That doesn't count.

David: Slim pickins.
Heather: Good thing God doesn't say that about us!

Rob: God will move mountains if we're willing to put in the shovel.

Jonathan Martin: If you ask for the fire of God to fall down, just be prepared because you never know what you're going to get.

Katie: ... yogurt out the wazoo.
Nikki: Ew!  I don't eat yogurt from the wazoo.
Jennifer: What's a wazoo?
Nikki: I think it's some secret anatomical place.
Katie: Ask Andy.
Jennifer: He would know: he's a wa who lives in a zoo.

Jonathan Martin: What have you done today without expecting anything in return?

Jennifer: Katie, you're lamo kablamo.  Put on your wrinkle shirt and lick a bone!

Katie: I'm going to go to my room.  People like me there.
Nikki: Katie, there's no one in there.
Katie: Your point?

Katie: It smells like campfire in here.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm straightening my hair.

Katie: Did you do anything fun today?
Andy: No, I didn't [because] I didn't work today.  BUT!  I did sign up for some EMS hours.

Nikki: Vulnerability and transparency.  They're yucky and they're good.  They're like vegetables.

By the way, I gave in and am now on Twitter (@KatieAx3), so you can follow our suite bantering in real-time and see quotes that inspire me throughout the day.

Happy Wednesday!  I pray no one is drowning in the Snowpocalypse.

<>< Katie

Just One Shirt

All of the best ideas come from a "What if?" question.

"What if we went dorm to dorm asking people to donate one shirt to homeless shelter?"  Keith asked at dinner.

The idea exploded and on a Saturday afternoon Nikki, Keith, David, Ryan, and Wes wandered around campus with two plastic buckets for their "Just One Shirt" drive.

They walked dorm to dorm knocking on every door encouraging residents to find one item in their wardrobe that they don't wear.

Personally, this was a challenge.  If I don't wear certain clothes, they're at home.  I don't have the space to have superfluous stuff here.  I did find one shirt I don't wear--a yellow coffee shop shirt that makes me feel like I'm in my pajamas all day.

They gathered a car trunk and backseat full of clothes--it's approximately twelve trash bags full of clothing!

It was also part of a school-wide service project campaign where the three best service projects won $100 each.

Another winning project (the most creative project) was a hall of students who went to the nursing home and asked the residents to make Valentines Day cards for the children at the children's home.  Then, they went to the children's home and asked the children to make Valentines Day cards for the nursing home residents.

The Just One Shirt campaign won most spirited.  Get this: their $100 is going to support a Compassion International child for this month and for his birthday.

What if we all gave one shirt?  What if we were all servant-minded?  What if?

<>< Katie

Snow pants and iced coffee

Sometimes so many cool things happen in life that I just want to write about every minute of every day.  Except I can't.  Let me give you snapshots of my yesterday.  <>< Katie

Snapshot One
Five of the six girls in my apartment had somewhere to be by 8am.  Remember, we're college students, so that is unheard-of early!  A little before seven I rolled over and noticed Jennifer was missing.  Honestly, I wondered if she ever came to bed.  I fell asleep before she came in and she apparently got up before I did.  She could sleep while doing a headstand, so I wasn't too worried.  I was worried about our frantic, groggy noise as the other five of us tried to get ready.  When I found her in the living room, she said she went to bed just after I fell asleep and got up not five minutes before my alarm went off.  I asked why she was up and she said she got up to make Allyson coffee.  I figure that's the epitome of selflessness, to get up at 7am to make coffee for your roommate.  It got better.  She then went out and scraped all of the ice off of Elizabeth's car.  At seven am, my amazing roommate woke up just to serve us.

Snapshot Two
Around nine, Dr. Z and J-M walked into the coffee shop.  I asked J-M why he was wearing snow pants.  He said it was eleven degrees outside and they had walked.  He then proceeded to order an iced coffee.  At which point I reminded him it was eleven degrees out.  His response?  "That's why I'm wearing snow pants."

Snapshot Three
I arrived at the Wal-mart crosswalk two steps behind an elderly couple with matching hand-carved wooden canes.  There was enough time of me to cross in front of the oncoming car but there wasn't enough time for them.  The man cleared his throat to find his voice.  "Let's go," he said to his wife.  One foot at a time they moved forward and I subconsciously slowed my naturally fast pace to half time.  When we reached the halfway point, I was sure the car had stopped and there were other people in the cross walk, so I sped up again, but for some reason that cute old couple has stuck in my head for the last few days.

Snapshot Four
Around eight pm, my roommates announced it was wintery mixing outside.  I left my study perch on the couch and got up to look out the window.  Honestly, I was excited to see big white snowflakes for the first time this season.  As soon as I pulled open the blinds, I remembered I live in Baptist Country.  If I closed one eye, tilted my head sideways, and stared at the street light, I could kind of see something that resembled a rain drop.

Snapshot Five
Remember those nice things I said about my roommate in Snapshot One?  I take them all back.  That morning she also washed our sheets.  She said it took forever to put the sheets on my bed.  Apparently she had finished when she realized she missed a layer and had to start all over again.  Honestly, I appreciated it.  What I did not appreciate was the fact that she intentionally made the bed backwards.  I think next time I do the sheets I'll make Jen's bed inside out with the sheet on top and comforter on the bottom.

Looking Like People

"Your characters talk and act like people, but they don't look like people," my fiction writing class told me last week.  This constructive criticism has stuck in my head since then. 

It's true: I rarely describe the physical features of my characters.  Maybe it's because even though I'm a visual learned I struggle to describe real people much less made-up people.  There are almost a million 5'4" girls with light brown hair.  Maybe it's because I find writing physical description to be boring.  "Her dyed red hair fell in her face covering her hazel eyes" lameness.  Maybe it's because when I'm reading I envision the characters my own way and don't like being told I'm wrong.
"But we want to see the characters the way you see them," my professor told me.

My question is: Does it matter?  If it's vital that a character has curly, dark brown hair looks like she jumped out of a Jane Austen novel, then, yes, of course I'll mention it.  But does every character, or even the main character, need to be accompanied by a physical description?

Elizabeth says yes.  Otherwise they're just voices.
Nikki says she's stop reading if they weren't described.
Without looking up from the book she was reading, Amy nodded.

I remember as a fourth grader reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe before watching the movie.  Afterwards, the teacher asked us what we thought.

One student (I wish it was me...) said, "I liked the pictures in the book better."

I gave my protagonist strawberry blonde hair just to appease my classmates.  But deep down inside I wonder.  Does it matter to you if you know I'm so skinny I disappear if I turn sideways, my hands are so chapped they're bloody, and my not-quite-shoulder-length dirty blonde hair spends a majority of it's time in a three-quarters pony tail?

<>< Katie

Wacky Wednesday

"If life is worth living, then it is worth recording."

Classmate: What is that?
I glanced down at the brown bottle in my hand.
Classmate: That's kind of bold.
Katie: Well I am from the North.  No, actually, it's root beer.  They're serving it in the caf for Oktoberfest.

Mom: I'm bored.  I want to eat, but I shouldn't.  Maybe I'll just go to bed.
Katie: Read a book, that's what you always told me.  Did you ever finish Three Cups of Tea?
Mom: No.  I lost it. 
Katie: You lost it?
Mom: Maybe it's in my music bag, but I'm not really sure.  It might be in my van.  No, I know it's not in my van.  I think it got swallowed by a log cabin magazine.

Katie: The only thing I can actually throw is a pen.
Chelsea: That's the sign of an English major.

Ron Rash: Galloway, who has already killed the typical Rash body count of about a dozen...
[about his amazing book Serena]

Nikki: Chloe told me to feed my cat.  I don't have a cat.
Allyson: What if fish were mini-giraffes swimming around?  How different would our world be if all our pets were shaped differently.

Isaac [age 3]: There's a Ternanisarus Rex out the window.  See it?  Do you see any other ones?
Katie: No, I only see one.
[All of the other adults at the table laughed at me]

Elizabeth [to her boyfriend Andy]: It hurt last time you bit me.

Michael: I tend to not put my mouth on things that can electrocute me.
Caitlin: That's why my hair is curly.
[really the outlets exemplify sound if you're anywhere near them]

Dr. Jones: Bekah's carrying a friend to the hospital.
Katie: That's going to take awhile.

Amy: My goal for this year: to understand Katie.
Katie: Good luck.

Uncle: We just scored in the opening kick off and we've got mini-screen!
Dad: Sarah!
Mom: I'm taping my hockey game.  Just a second.
Dad: Rewind!

Katie: At my house we have an actual cheese cutter.
Nikki: What's an actual cheese cutter verses a metaphorical cheese cutter?
Katie: An actually cheese cutter stinks up the place and a metaphorical cheese cutter makes a lot of noise.

Katie: My head hurts.
Jennifer: Take medicine.
Katie: I did.
Jennifer: Take more.

Andy: So are we going to the store or what?
Elizabeth: Yes. We need medium trash bags.
Amy: Medium trash bags.
Andy: Medium trash bags.
Elizabeth: Medium trash bags.
Amy: And Katie needs new Scrabble Cheeze-its.
Elizabeth: No she doesn't.  We haven't played with hers yet.
Nikki: Roommie, don't be rude and play Banangrams on the floor with Katie's Scrabble Cheeze-its on then put them back into the box.  Be considerate and lick all of the germs off of them before you put them away.

Random man on the phone: I'm not shaving my chest hair.  Yeah, it's getting really long.  It grew a millimeter already.

[Sign Choir practice]
Amber: We could have one or even two Jesuses...
Katie: Sign Choir goes polytheistic... at least we have Jesus in our songs.
[Ten minutes later]
Girl: Wait, how many Gods?
Queen Emily: Religion 1-0-1: One God!

Jake: SURE!  The lactose intolerant girl brings cheesecake!

Katie: Brain fart: what's it called when there's a need and you make it go away.
Nikki: Satisfy.
Jennifer: To.
Katie: You to the need?
Jennifer: Yeah, like the number "two."

Amy: Don't let me forget, I have to mail my Compassion child tomorrow.
Katie: DON'T PUT YOUR COMPASSION CHILD IN THE MAIL!  Who do you think she is?  Flat Stanley?

Jennifer: WHY is there hair in the microwave?
Elizabeth: It goes there, Jennifer; it makes everything more tasty.

Keith: Katie, I'm cold.  And I have that exact same sweatshirt.
Katie: Are you asking me to give you the sweatshirt off of my back?
[Keith nodded sheepishly]

Jennifer: I think Allyson's cough is getting to her ears. I said, "Your phone rang," and she thought I said, "Your padre." It was her dad who called, but I didn't know that.

Katie: Where is my phone?
Andy: In your eye.
Katie: EWW!  That would be so germy!
Nikki: Don't point out the cell phone in her eye until you remove the laptop from your own eye.

Katie: It didn't work.
Nikki: It would have worked if I had done it.
Katie: That's right because you're better than me at everything.
Nikki: Except being skinny, using random German words and pretending they're English, writing really long blog posts, sanitizing light switches, and not licking things on impulse.

Shellie Warren: But as you mature, hopefully, you will encounter men of character and quality. The bad news is that they may not be your husband. The good news is that they very well could bring you one, two, or ten steps closer to him.

Orange

"Are you ok with the orange?"

Instead of selling it for profit, Ruth was giving me a three by three book I'm going to fill with Bible verses.  The book has an orange theme, and I'm a purple girl.  I assured her the orange was fine and thanked her for the gift.

While orange does not make it in my top three favorite colors, it holds a special significance.

Orange is the color of the World Vision pen on my desk because it is bright enough to not get lost in the heap of dead trees.

Orange makes me think of Nikki and her now, rightfully, retired phone...
Orange makes me think of Carrie.

Orange is construction cones and Taco Bell hot sauce.

Orange makes me think of Guatemala.
Orange helped me realize that just like white crevices in stucco take forever to fill so does sin take forever to be removed from our lives. Every time we think we’re getting close, we find yet another missing spot… and then some more.
Orange is a reminder to stop and listen. Sometimes we have to be quiet to hear what God is trying to say.

Orange mean authority.
Orange means funs, friendly, and flexible.
Orange proclaims, "We believe!"

More than anything, Orange reminds me of my trip to New Orleans where I got to be part of Orange Nation. A week of long days and short nights. A week sacrificing ourselves and serving one another. A week of almost being trampled every night as I tried to play crowd control for 25,000 excited youth. A week I learned where "challenging" and "cherished" can intertwine.

I won this game, by the way.

Happy Reformation Day.
Happy Halloween.
Let orange be more than the color of the "publish post" button.

<>< Katie

Self-Serve Ice Cream

When it comes to upper body strength, I'm a weakling.  Lift this heavy item?  No, thanks.  Do a pull up?  Yeah, right.  When you're a weakling, you need tricks.  You wedge your hip against the ice cream cooler and pull, with two hands if necessary.

Most days, that works.  Yesterday not so much.  I've scooped myself a lot of ice cream over the last three plus years, and I will say this was honestly the hardest I've ever seen the ice cream.  After five minutes of struggling I still didn't even have a spoonful.

"It's really hard today.  We just put in the new buckets," said the male voice behind me.  "Do you want me to give it a try?"

Out of breath, I turned and surrendered my scoop... to our executive chef.

You know those people who are always smiling and have a kind word?  I call them "Radiators" because they radiate love, grace, and compassion.  Our executive chef is one of them.

He took the scoop and half-disappeared into the cooler.  He came up for a breath and gave me an "Oh my gosh!" look before diving in for a second go.

The executive chef stopped what he was doing (probably refilling the dessert tray, explaining to Nikki the science behind why the alfredo sauce looks like gravy, or making something delicious at the end of the salad bar) to serve me from the self-serve ice cream.  I did nothing to deserve his help but he saw a need and sought to satisfy it.

Ladies and gentlemen, that's is exactly what God calls us to do.  Stop what we're doing and offer to help.  See needs, no matter how big or how small, and satisfy them.  To serve one another, even if that means putting our other responsibilities on hold.

Thank you, Mr. Executive Chef, for the reminder.  And for the ice cream.

<>< Katie

Debated Words

My suitemates and I have taken a stab at songwriting.  Most of us are either musically inclined or wordsmiths.  It's a great combination.

A few days ago, Jennifer had a beautiful concept for a song and ideas on what she wanted to proclaim in the verses, so we tried to write it.

We talked it out.  We free wrote.  We prayed.  We played with chords.  We were having a hard time.  Every word was deliberate and discussed.

Two hours later, we had a grand total of twenty-two words.

We were pleased yet simultaneously, I was little frustrated that it was taking so long.  Let's be honest: I'm a bit verbose.  Yes?  If I spent two-solid hours writing I would hope to have at least 700 words.  But they would not be as planned as these twenty-two words were.  They would be much less deliberate.  I would not debate them like we did those song lyrics.  They are not repeated as frequently as a song, even one only six of us know.

It got me thinking about the words that come out of my mouth.  Am I flippant in what I say or are they well-chosen?  Does each sentence run through a filter before it runs off my tongue?  Am I careful is what I say and how I say it?

The truthful answer is no.  But I should be.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

<>< Katie