Allyson, Amy, and I were sitting in the food court zoning when Allyson turned to me.
"The world is so obsessed with relationships!"
Her comment caught me off guard.
"You know," she continued, "like if you're single you're told you're not worth anything. And if you're in a relationship it's the best thing that has ever happened to you. I bet that's a way satan uses to distract us from God's love!"
Woah! That was way too deep for my hazy brain. As I regained full consciousness and began to process her words, I decided she is absolutely right!
I'm single. But a disgusting amount of time is spent wondering and day dreaming about my future husband and family. I spend a lot more time yearning for what I can't have rather than embracing the unfailing love that was graciously given to me.
Allyson wasn't done. "And if that one relationship is the best thing that ever happened to you, what about all of your other relationships? Don't they matter?"
Recently the loss of a close friendship has left me mourning and dejected. But what about all of the other flourishing relationships in my life? Don't they count for anything?
Sure they do. But they aren't the one completing relationship. The one we girls think a man can fill. The one, truthfully, only God can fill.
Allyson's thoughts were spurred by a music video I wasn't watching. I looked up at the end to see a mother and father playing with their two sons by splashing each other in the ocean and jumping on the bed. It was really sweet.
I hope to one day have that. But until then, can I embrace the love of God given to me? When I do have my own family, will I still put my joy and hope in Christ?
Right now, I honestly don't know if I can answer yes to both of those questions. Maybe that's why I'm single. There are still a lot of things for me to learn before someone else can walk into my life.
<>< Katie
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Monday, January 4, 2010
Book Review: Love Languages
I asked for the Five Love Languages for Christmas. Grandma thought it sounded dirty but didn't consult my mother before buying it. She figured the singles edition would be cleaner, so she made the executive decision that I needed The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition.
Ouch!
Upon further investigation, I realize I do fit the target audience.
Adult? Check
Single? Check
I could not help but laugh to myself because receiving the singles edition of a book is in stark contrast to the Christmas with the other side of the family the night before ("Katie, any cute guys at your school?"). The irony is that the stalking-family doesn't invite boyfriends/girlfriends to Christmas and the book-gifting side included four boyfriends in our midst. Mixed messages here, folks.
I put the "You're going to be single for the rest of your life" condemnation aside and read the book. Enjoyed it, too.
Gary Chapman analyzes five ways people feel loved:
1. Quality time
2. Gifts
3. Acts of service
4. Words of encouragement, affirmation
5. Physical touch
He argues every person enjoys all five but has one specific love language they need in order to truly feel loved. I struggled to figure out my own primary love languages but had no trouble discovering the love languages of those around me. It was actually really fun to think about the important people in my life and how I can best express my love and appreciation to them.
Even though I am not currently in a romantic relationship, I feel this book was worth my time. I'd recommend reading it (singles edition or normal edition) to anyone who interacts with people on a regular basis. Chapman is not humble when discussing how the concept of the five love languages has saved countless marriages. I don't know if this is true or not but I can see how it could be helpful between couples, struggling or not. I would love to someday read it again with my fiancé prior to our marriage because I think it's an area where we should be on the same page.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, the singles edition isn't actually cleaner but neither book is dirty. I've read things in class that are dirtier than this (BEFORE I took an entire semester of Beat Lit).
One book down for 2010, meaning 14 to go!
<>< Katie
Ouch!
Upon further investigation, I realize I do fit the target audience.
Adult? Check
Single? Check
I could not help but laugh to myself because receiving the singles edition of a book is in stark contrast to the Christmas with the other side of the family the night before ("Katie, any cute guys at your school?"). The irony is that the stalking-family doesn't invite boyfriends/girlfriends to Christmas and the book-gifting side included four boyfriends in our midst. Mixed messages here, folks.
I put the "You're going to be single for the rest of your life" condemnation aside and read the book. Enjoyed it, too.
Gary Chapman analyzes five ways people feel loved:
1. Quality time
2. Gifts
3. Acts of service
4. Words of encouragement, affirmation
5. Physical touch
He argues every person enjoys all five but has one specific love language they need in order to truly feel loved. I struggled to figure out my own primary love languages but had no trouble discovering the love languages of those around me. It was actually really fun to think about the important people in my life and how I can best express my love and appreciation to them.
Even though I am not currently in a romantic relationship, I feel this book was worth my time. I'd recommend reading it (singles edition or normal edition) to anyone who interacts with people on a regular basis. Chapman is not humble when discussing how the concept of the five love languages has saved countless marriages. I don't know if this is true or not but I can see how it could be helpful between couples, struggling or not. I would love to someday read it again with my fiancé prior to our marriage because I think it's an area where we should be on the same page.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, the singles edition isn't actually cleaner but neither book is dirty. I've read things in class that are dirtier than this (BEFORE I took an entire semester of Beat Lit).
One book down for 2010, meaning 14 to go!
<>< Katie
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