From Katie: The following is a collection of quotes heard in conversation and found on Twitter over the month of April. Some names have been changed for the sake of privacy. <>< Katie
Jesse : How are you?
Woman [70s]: Well, I have a bad case of diarrhea and I've been on the toilet all morning, Honey. I hear you wrote a book. I'm going to write a book, too. Since it looks like neither of us are going to get married, let's get hitched.
Katie: Next time I'll just cook dinner after work.
Jennifer: Hey! I've been cooking all afternoon.
Amy: That's the problem.
Katie: We appreciate your effort even if it's only effort.
Laura: I'd like a diet virgin water on the rocks. Hold the ice.
David: Katie, you eat in the caf more than I do.
Katie: Not more just as often.
David: Oh, good. As long as we're even.
Pete Webber: I hate hockey games in libraries.
Allyson: I'm so sorry, Stacy, that we're overe here having our own conversation and you're over there slaving over the microwave.
Person One: What's a cello?
Person Two: It's like a really big violin you play on the floor.
[Allyson getting plates out of the cabinet]
Jennifer: No! I already have plates out.
Jennifer: Over there.
Allyson: There are two.
Jennifer: I was going to get more.
Stephen: Anatomically, if you had brake lights, they'd be on your butt.
Katie: Meeting with David.
Autocorrect: Mewing with David.
Rebekah: I mewed with David and Meagan tonight.
Katie: I need to remember not to go to work tomorrow.
Lisa Whittle: Tell that person you believe in them, love them, appreciate them today. You have no idea how much they may need to hear it.
Isaac [Age 4]: If we were all rocks, we'd be mulch.
Jennifer: Allyson, are you done with this?
Allyson: That's my sandwich.
Jennifer: It's all this gross stuff.
Allyson: Those are called vegetables.
Laura: Zeke is Twatching Katie. In public even!
Anna: I wouldn't lie to you.
Josh: You did once.
Anna: Really? When?
Josh: You once said I was a good person.
Katie: High of 61. What is this? January?
Jennifer Rothschild: God is present in your present; He's not dwelling on your past or worrying about the future so you don't either. Be present where you are.
Allyson: These strawberries are Pintrest-worthy.
Katie: When I come back, I want you to have two pages written.
Jen: Are you coming back tomorrow?
[A few days later]
Jen: So, Katie, that story for class you were pushing me to write? It's not 5 pages. It's 26. And I might major in writing.
"Live in a way that if anyone should speak badly of you, no one would believe it." - Unknown
Jennifer: It's 7:30.
Katie: It's 8:00.
Allyson: Get a watch, witch.
Jesse: Have you Tweeted yet? It's been an hour. Please Tweet responsibly.
Katie: I need a horrible haircut. I mean, I need a haircut horribly.
Julie: If you bought a Lord of the Rings ring as an engagement right, you would officially be boxed in forever as a dork.
Billy Bob: I got this thought. I know that's dangerous. You're in charge of marketing--
John Boy: I think so. Somedays. In some places. Maybe not here. I am at my house.
Laura: I'll have the steak. Medium half-well done. No pink.
Friend: You have a degree in English and Spanish? You should be a music critic.
[While discussing wars]
Becca, high school freshman: This is why we need female presidents. They won't fight with each other; they'll all be jealous of each other and no one will talk rather than fighting.
Katie: I need to go shopping in your closet.
Jennifer: You can pay me too.
Katie: I'll pay you in punches.
Jennifer: I don't appreciate that. Maybe I'll just let you borrow my clothes.
Brett: Childbirth is not the most feminine moment in a woman's life.
[Laura said something in Spanish; I translated.]
Katie: Why is the dog in the car?
Laura: Why are you standing in a box?
Max Lucado: Worship is the act of magnifying God.