- "We should eat eight of the elderly because then we wouldn't have to go buy more prizes."
- "Ohh! Ambulance parking. We could park there. Bob, turn on your lights!" [Bob drives a minivan]
- "Men don't have hair."
- "I want to eat my words because I didn't have breakfast, and I'm hungry."
- "AH! You just decapitated me again."
- "I had a dream last night that I actually behaved at youth group. Thank goodness it was only a dream!"
- "There are dominoes in my shorts!"
- "Look! That tree is moving. Oh, wait, the bus is moving."
- "Naked! Hehehe Silly! Plethora, giggle, tomatoes." [This was a text message sent to the wrong person]
- "Ew! Rick Warren!"
- "What does 'nagivet' mean?"
- "ATHANASIAN CREED! Exploring His manhood? Oh! This creed is dirty!"
- "That's why I make out with Katie: she goes to seminary next week." [That is what we heard. What she really said was: "That's why I hang out with Katie: she leaves for school next week."]
- "I don't need caffeine. I'm pre-caffeinated."
The same girl who was on the jumbotron speaking whale...
One of my anonymous readers... Melissa Joy Noel.
She's been begging me for a birthday blog for years, and I'm really not sure what to say to the girl who threw herself a 19th birthday party at the city pool. We played with shaving cream and silly string on the playground...
I think for her birthday I will donate blood because I'm eligible for the first time ever. Then I'll give her the information pamphlet. I can just hear her reading it, "Definition of sexual content... AHHHH!!! ... whether or not a hmmmhmmm is used... EWWWW!!!"
I love Melissa. She brings unusual joy into my life. Selflessness, a strange sense of humor, and silly string. What more does a person really need?