Unusual Joy

All of the following are real quotes from one person's mouth.

•  "We should eat eight of the elderly because then we wouldn't have to go buy more prizes."
• "Ohh!  Ambulance parking.  We could park there.  Bob, turn on your lights!" [Bob drives a minivan]
• "Men don't have hair."
• "I want to eat my words because I didn't have breakfast, and I'm hungry."
• "AH!  You just decapitated me again."
• "I had a dream last night that I actually behaved at youth group.  Thank goodness it was only a dream!"
• "There are dominoes in my shorts!"
• "Look!  That tree is moving.  Oh, wait, the bus is moving."
• "Naked!  Hehehe Silly!  Plethora, giggle, tomatoes." [This was a text message sent to the wrong person]
• "Ew!  Rick Warren!"
• "What does 'nagivet' mean?"
• "ATHANASIAN CREED!  Exploring His manhood?  Oh!  This creed is dirty!"
• "That's why I make out with Katie: she goes to seminary next week."  [That is what we heard.  What she really said was: "That's why I hang out with Katie: she leaves for school next week."]
• "I don't need caffeine.  I'm pre-caffeinated."

Who REALLY says these kinds of things?

The same girl who was on the jumbotron speaking whale...

One of my anonymous readers... Melissa Joy Noel.

She's been begging me for a birthday blog for years, and I'm really not sure what to say to the girl who threw herself a 19th birthday party at the city pool.  We played with shaving cream and silly string on the playground...

I think for her birthday I will donate blood because I'm eligible for the first time ever.  Then I'll give her the information pamphlet.  I can just hear her reading it, "Definition of sexual content... AHHHH!!! ... whether or not a hmmmhmmm is used... EWWWW!!!"

I love Melissa.  She brings unusual joy into my life.  Selflessness, a strange sense of humor, and silly string.  What more does a person really need?

<>< Katie

Happy birthday!

My grandpa turned 75 today! We were talking about "The Birthday Boy" doing something and he snickered. We changed it to Birthday Man. He still laughed.

"The birthday geezer, maybe!"


A few years ago, I was at my grandparents' house for the week. That year their tomato plants had pretty much taken over their yard. You had to wrestle the tomatoes to get off the deck. It was actually really funny. They also had a gopher problem that year. A gopher made his home in the rain drain right outside their bedroom window and would be loud and obnoxious at night. To solve the gopher problem, all my grandpa had to do was drop a golf ball down the rain gutter. There was even a little hole he called "The Gopher Hole".


This particular day, we got the golf ball to get out the gopher, but Grandpa didn't have any shoes on. He precariously climbed though the bushes to get to the Gopher Hole and balanced himself on a chunk of cement and a few larger rocks. He dropped the golf ball expecting the gopher to come out the other end. Well, instead the golf rollyed out and