Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Accepted

I don't think I'll ever forget a simple breakfast (my breakfast, his lunch) I once had with a friend Kevin, commonly referred to as "Jesus Shoes."  I've blogged about this brunch before, but I'm going to do it again.  Kevin and I met at the toaster both anxiously awaiting our bagels.

"Where are you sitting?"  I asked. My bagel was done, and I didn't have a seat yet.
"With you," he said.  Kevin, a popular senior, could have sat anywhere, and he chose to sit with me, a sophomore.  That would have been enough to make my Saturday.  But God had greater things in mind for the day.  If I remember correctly, our conversation wasn't anything deep or life changing, just two siblings in Christ sharing life over bagels.  That is, until I became an obsessing perfectionist.

"It doesn't matter, Katie.  It only matters to One and His mind is made up."

I probably rolled my eyes.  While I wasn't happy to hear it, Jesus Shoes had a point (and an appropriate nickname).

Acceptance is something I really struggle with.  It's why I don't like sharing my fiction.  It's why I thrive on feedback (preferably positive, but I'm learning to appreciate negative, too).  It's why I make myself the third wheel.  I pull away before anyone has the opportunity to push me out.  I'm getting better, but it's a problem.

It's also what Neal spoke about last night.  After sharing parts of his experience in junior high, not unlike my middle school experiences, he went off on a slight tangent.  Neal's notorious for tangents but this was a really good one.  One I needed to hear and can be told again every day for the rest of my life.

"I don't know whose acceptance you're searching for but just stop because it's hopeless.  You're never going to obtain it and be satisfied.  You already have Jesus's so why are you still searching?  Is that person's acceptance more important than Jesus's?  You can't please them but you have already pleased Him and that's all that matters."

Sound familiar?

"It doesn't matter, Katie.  It only matters to One and His mind is already made-up."

Thanks for accepting my honesty.

Oh, and even though we're on a MWF schedule this week, out of reverence for Christ's death, there will be no new post on Friday.  It's coming on Saturday instead.  If you've never experienced a Good Friday service of darkness, I highly recommend it.  My prayer is that you see our Savior's death and resurrection in a new way this year.

With love,
<>< Katie

Amy: Guys, we're in a tornado warning; maybe we should seek cover.
Andy: Elizabeth and I have two blankets over here if you want one.

3 comments:

StorytellERdoc said...

Good post, Katie. There are so many people in your life, and within your faith, who accept you. Once you recognize that these are your self-imposed barriers, you sprout wings and fly...

nikkiraye1218 said...

I love the Jesus in you.

Que bonita! said...

Wow, this is so good.
this is something that i needed to hear.. so thanks for sharing it with me. blessings sister.