Author's Note: The following are quotations taken from real conversations heard, read, or encountered during the month of November. Enjoy!
<>< Katie
Scott: My wife told me we're going baby shopping this afternoon.
Bob: Didn't you already buy one of those?
Scott: Two. We bought two.
Bob: Make sure you save the receipt.
Dawn: Were they on sale?
Katie: Two for the price of one?
Bob: He's an extreme couponer!
Christina: Lady Gaga is a singer.
Dad: Lady Gaga is a nightmare.
Linnea: If my baby is born with a beard, we're switching it in the hospital!
Random Man to Son: You were crying in your apple juice. Do you know why you were crying in your apple juice? Because you don't like apple juice.
David: Book! [meaning Writer's Notebook where I keep Wacky Wednesday quotes]
Jocelyn: I like your boob! [She meant book]
David: Book!
Christina: What does the guy from "Sister Wives" put on facebook [for his relationship status]?
Katie: Shaun Groves just Tweeted, "Googling the lyrics to my own dadgum song."
Christina: Who's Lulu?
Katie: What?
Christina: Lulu liked his song? Who's Lulu?
Brent [To some giggly high school girls at a Peder Eide concert]: Go bug Peder. Seriously. It'll take some pressure off of Katie.
[Reading the monthly cell phone bill over dinner]
Dad: Someone spent three dollars downloading a video.
Mom: Wait a second, let me see that, that three dollars was the [Dad's number] guy.
Dad: Oops.
Katie: So what I'm hearing is that Laura's a minutes hog, Mom only texts Christina, Dad buys three dollar videos, and Katie wins with the least usage of everything.
Mom: Yeah, whatever.
Katie: Whatever? I haven't gotten a text message in three days.
Mom: That's because your inbox is full. You need a new phone.
"No matter what this world does, you're valuable. The Lord gives you help for the hurt and hope for the future." - Bob Lenz
[Taking a photo]
Katie: One, two, four.
Peder: Miss Katie, we need to work on your counting.
Katie: I was an English major.
[After I'd been on the phone for twenty minutes]
Grandma: I'm glad she took sign language in college!
[Putting my number in his phone]
Mark: L-A-U-R-A
Katie: Um... I spell my name with a K.
Mom: Here, wear this step stool!
Sparkle the cat: I just did. Why do I have to wear it again?
Laura: Katie! You'll be so proud of me! I played The Alphabet Game yesterday and WON! TWICE!
Katie: Was the other person driving?
Laura: There was no other person.
"Thank You that even in the wilderness You are Emmanuel--God with us." -Tracy
[On facebook]
Andy [to Elizabeth]: I love you!
Katie: I love you, too!
Andy: I think you misspelled two, Katie.
Katie: No, I only love you; not Elizabeth.
Andy: lol I completely saw that going the opposite direction! I love you too, Katie. And so does Elizabeth!
Katie: Success! I love you two and miss you, too!
Bob: Don't complain about being dress size one when I'm a sixteen!
Christina: How was Oscar's [the cat] surprise attack?
Mom: Well, the doctor cut off my wart today.
[Catch Phrase]
Linnea: The continent that--
Katie: Alaska!
Katie: With as little as I listen to the radio, when I know all the words to a song, it's overplayed.
[Laura burst out laughing]
Katie: Um... I didn't think what I said was that funny.
Laura: It wasn't! That... that bar we just... passed... had a... had a toilet... on the front porch!
Mark: I can walk and chew gum at the same time!
[via text]
Katie: I am at the coffee shop actually being productive on a Saturday for once!
Amber: Good for you
Katie: It's because you're not here.
Amber: Haha
Katie: But I am lonely.
Amber: That's why you're actually getting work done.
Jocelyn: They danced funnily.
Katie: Look at how these pants sit on me. If I didn't have my hips right here, they'd just fall right off. If something happened to my hips, I'd never be able to wear pants again... without suspenders.
Greg: We're going to catch a deer then put it in the back of the van and take it to the vet to kill it humanely.
[Mark was walking out of church with three empty cups]
Katie: Were you a little thirsty?
Mark: Yeah. Dehydrated.
Katie: You're going to have to go to the little boys' room.
Mark: No, I already--
Katie: You already went? In church?!
Mark: No. I'm wearing a diaper. [Beat] And you sat next to me. Does that make you uncomfortable?
Mom: Lies!
Laura: I wouldn't lie to you! You're my momma!
Katie: All the more reason to lie to her!
[At small group]
Dustin: No talking about Jesus! It's not allowed.
Katie: I'm not going to be able to come anymore.
Dustin: Wait, what? Why can't you come anymore?!
Katie: Because we can't talk about Jesus.
Dustin: Oh, ok.
Mom: Come here. And don't get excited because I'm asking you to follow me upstairs.
[Dad's face fell]
Mom: The balance ball is NOT a horizontal surface!
Charlie: I have this friend. I don't know if he's alive. I've been checking the obituaries but I haven't found him, so I'm going to call him. I figure if he picks up, that's a good sign.
Lauren: It's the same storyline just with different characters.
David: Twilight?
Drew: No, those are the same characters.
Katie: This shirt kind of makes me look fat.
Mom: Good! Wear it every day!
Hygienist: Do you floss?
Katie: Yes. Not like I should but yes. Especially after I eat popcorn.
Hygienist: Ok, every day at 3:00 you have to eat popcorn.
Katie: That I can do!
"Praise, not perfection. He wants my praise not my perfection." - Ann Voskamp
Showing posts with label Andy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Andy. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
The following of a collection of profound or ridiculous things heard in normal conversation (unless otherwise marked). <>< Katie
Katie: Don't lick her foot.
Laura [The her]: I feel breath on my toes!
"God is not someone who can be tacked on in our lives." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 96
Mom: What's your plan for tomorrow?
Katie [Sarcastically]: Let me check my calendar. Oh, look: it's blank.
Mom: Does that mean you have nothing going on tomorrow?
Katie: That's what a blank calendar means.
Mom: Not Dad's!
"That night I learned that God sees no barriers, even when I do. God is ready to use me. And when I focus on God instead of my mountain, He channels through me His grace and His power." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 81
Andy: Can I get a to-go box?
Elizabeth: Can I get a to-go cup?
Allyson: Can I get a to-go fork?
Laura: I feel old: I get to sign for mail.
Katie: Oh! It's probably my passport and China Visa.
Christina: It says refrigerate after opening.
Katie: It's probably not my passport.
Katie: I blogged.
Mom: How can you blog? It's Sunday.
Katie: I can blog whatever day I want!
"To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer." - Martin Luther
"Adoration is foreign to most people, and you will probably feel clumsy when you first try it. As with anything you take up--a new sport, a new computer program, a new job--you have to stretch yourself and work at it to do well." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 67
Katie: Ultimate flour sock.
Laura: What's that? You shove a sock in your flower? Wait.
Dad: Have you... gone potty?
Adam: Can I get a fourth of a cup of lemonade? Do you know what that means? If I have a 400-page book, I want 100 pages read.
Katie: Oh, I got it! By why wouldn't you want to read the other 300 pages?
Adam: I'm saving them for later.
Katie: What is this all about? I haven't been to church yet.
Pastor Russ: You haven't been to church yet?! Didn't you used to go to like three services? If you commit to praying for the high school ministry once a week, you get to paint a tile.
Katie: I have to pray? Once a week?!
Bob: You used to be like [high-pitched voice] "Yeah! I love to pray!"
Mom: We have a giant rabbit in our car. No, parking lot. No. We have a giant rabbit in our yard.
Katie: What was the ridiculous thing you said earlier that I didn't write now?
Mom: Nothing! Everything I say is incredibly intelligent!
Evan: Are you ready to walk and not faint?
Katie: Yeah, and run and not get weary, too!
Allyson: I'm glad you got that because I definitely didn't.
[See Isaiah 43:30-31]
Katie: In Chinese the days of the week are a number and then the word 'day.' Like Monday is one-day.
Mom: So Tuesday is Two-day? [Laughing]
Katie: Yes, today is Two-day Tuesday.
Katie: What time is it?
Elizabeth: It's 11:99.
"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 104
David: You never know with Rebekah. You turn around and she's throwing your five year old dreams out the window!
Katie: What did you lose in my computer?
Mom: I lost nothing; I found my jammies in your computer!
[Facebook conversation]
Katie: Was I the only one who wanted to stand up and dance during "Our God" at church this morning?
April: Why didn't you? I do. Maybe even sign a little!
Katie: When we were finally invited to sing I did clap my hands and move a little... but only a little. It is Lutheran church.
Brit: Katie, you heard this morning: we're liberal in practice but conservative in doctrine. I believe hand-clapping falls under practice.
Katie: What about dancing? Is that law or gospel?
"God is a worker who completes His works. Where is there an instance of God's beginning any work and leaving it incomplete? Show me once a world abandoned and thrown aside half-formed; show me a universe cast off from the Great Potter's wheel, with the design in outline, the clay half-hardened, and the form unshapely from incompleteness." - Charles Spurgeon
[Driving through a storm behind an airplane on a truck bed.]
Andy: That's why they're driving. If they were flying I wonder if the plane would drag the truck behind it, too.
Dad: I didn't understand why you were yelling at the dog.
Katie: I wasn't yelling at the dog. I was yelling at you.
Dad: Same thing.
Katie: Laura has a monopoly on all of the friends. [Beat] Laura, what are you doing? You're weird. [Beat] How do you have all of the friends?
Mom: She's less weird than you are!
[Telephone Pictionary]
Girl, age 14: Is "sexy" a bad word? I'll just use bodacious. How do you spell bodacious?
[The sentence] A bodacious angel wearing tight pants.
Katie: I'm trying not to sound like a dork in this email to Dr. T, and it's not working.
Elizabeth: Katie, it's Dr. T; he already knows you're a dork.
[Dad misbooked
Dad: Well, this is the dumbest, most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
Christina: No, it's not. Remember that time you double-booked Katie on the airplane so she had to sit next to herself?
Katie: Or the time you knocked over the full luggage cart in the parking lot?
"You cannot be everything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be." - Max Lucado
Katie: What's your favorite ice cream?
Boy, age 4: Tomato.
Katie: Tomato? I've never had tomato ice cream.
Boy: NOOO! Cookie dough!
[Bananagrams]
Mom: I wish I had a W to make dwarf. No, I wish I had a D; I have four Ws.
Katie: VBS does a great job of reminding me that I love children but I made the right choice not to go into education.
Laura: Oh. I'm the opposite.
Katie: You hate children and you're glad you're going into education?
Jackie, age 14: We need to all save up our money to buy a house and that way when you all die it can be mine.
Grandpa: What was that noise?
Katie: My fault. I pushed against the table to push my chair back, but apparently I'm heavier than the table.
Mom: First time in her life!
Christina: For my CNA stuff it says I have to be able to lift 50 pounds. How much is 50 pounds? Daddy, come here!
Dad: I weigh more than 50 pounds!
Christina: Ok, Katie, come here!
Katie: I weigh more than 50 pounds, too!
Christina: Fifty-two is close enough.
Mom: Katie! Dad's new scale is busted! It told me I weigh 300 pounds!
Katie: Let me try it. How does it work?
Mom: It doesn't.
Katie: It told me I weigh zero pounds.
Mom: You can have some of mine.
"[B]eing on a God-guided adventure truly is living life on another level than merely competing for wealth and achievement and prizes and toys of this work." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 173
Christian: But I believe in the Trinity!
Melissa: And Pastor Russ doesn't?
Uncle Jay: I'm the alien bringing the hay!
Auntie Gwennie: Are you practicing your Cantonese or your Mandarin?
Katie: My Mandarin.
Auntie Gwennie: Bok choy!
Mom: No, that's a vegetable.
Christina: Look! The moon!
Katie: I don't want to see anyone's moon!
Christina: God's showing us His moon.
Mom: Stop using my arm as a drumstick!
"Prayer is a way to turn dry theological descriptions into warm, living, personal realities. When we live in constant communication with God, our needs are met, our faith increases, and our love expands." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 166
Mom: Do you want milk?
Uncle Bill: No, we have red milk. [wine]
Auntie Gwennie: "Open away from face." What the--? It's a coffee filter, for crying out loud!
Christina: What's she getting?
Joe: I'm a he!
Uncle Bill: I strike on Fourth Street.
Katie: Good thing there are only three streets in cribbage.
"The point of your life is to point to Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 44
Katie: Don't lick her foot.
Laura [The her]: I feel breath on my toes!
"God is not someone who can be tacked on in our lives." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 96
Mom: What's your plan for tomorrow?
Katie [Sarcastically]: Let me check my calendar. Oh, look: it's blank.
Mom: Does that mean you have nothing going on tomorrow?
Katie: That's what a blank calendar means.
Mom: Not Dad's!
"That night I learned that God sees no barriers, even when I do. God is ready to use me. And when I focus on God instead of my mountain, He channels through me His grace and His power." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 81
Andy: Can I get a to-go box?
Elizabeth: Can I get a to-go cup?
Allyson: Can I get a to-go fork?
Laura: I feel old: I get to sign for mail.
Katie: Oh! It's probably my passport and China Visa.
Christina: It says refrigerate after opening.
Katie: It's probably not my passport.
Katie: I blogged.
Mom: How can you blog? It's Sunday.
Katie: I can blog whatever day I want!
"To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer." - Martin Luther
"Adoration is foreign to most people, and you will probably feel clumsy when you first try it. As with anything you take up--a new sport, a new computer program, a new job--you have to stretch yourself and work at it to do well." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 67
Katie: Ultimate flour sock.
Laura: What's that? You shove a sock in your flower? Wait.
Dad: Have you... gone potty?
Adam: Can I get a fourth of a cup of lemonade? Do you know what that means? If I have a 400-page book, I want 100 pages read.
Katie: Oh, I got it! By why wouldn't you want to read the other 300 pages?
Adam: I'm saving them for later.
Katie: What is this all about? I haven't been to church yet.
Pastor Russ: You haven't been to church yet?! Didn't you used to go to like three services? If you commit to praying for the high school ministry once a week, you get to paint a tile.
Katie: I have to pray? Once a week?!
Bob: You used to be like [high-pitched voice] "Yeah! I love to pray!"
Mom: We have a giant rabbit in our car. No, parking lot. No. We have a giant rabbit in our yard.
Katie: What was the ridiculous thing you said earlier that I didn't write now?
Mom: Nothing! Everything I say is incredibly intelligent!
Evan: Are you ready to walk and not faint?
Katie: Yeah, and run and not get weary, too!
Allyson: I'm glad you got that because I definitely didn't.
[See Isaiah 43:30-31]
Katie: In Chinese the days of the week are a number and then the word 'day.' Like Monday is one-day.
Mom: So Tuesday is Two-day? [Laughing]
Katie: Yes, today is Two-day Tuesday.
Katie: What time is it?
Elizabeth: It's 11:99.
"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 104
David: You never know with Rebekah. You turn around and she's throwing your five year old dreams out the window!
Katie: What did you lose in my computer?
Mom: I lost nothing; I found my jammies in your computer!
[Facebook conversation]
Katie: Was I the only one who wanted to stand up and dance during "Our God" at church this morning?
April: Why didn't you? I do. Maybe even sign a little!
Katie: When we were finally invited to sing I did clap my hands and move a little... but only a little. It is Lutheran church.
Brit: Katie, you heard this morning: we're liberal in practice but conservative in doctrine. I believe hand-clapping falls under practice.
Katie: What about dancing? Is that law or gospel?
"God is a worker who completes His works. Where is there an instance of God's beginning any work and leaving it incomplete? Show me once a world abandoned and thrown aside half-formed; show me a universe cast off from the Great Potter's wheel, with the design in outline, the clay half-hardened, and the form unshapely from incompleteness." - Charles Spurgeon
[Driving through a storm behind an airplane on a truck bed.]
Andy: That's why they're driving. If they were flying I wonder if the plane would drag the truck behind it, too.
Dad: I didn't understand why you were yelling at the dog.
Katie: I wasn't yelling at the dog. I was yelling at you.
Dad: Same thing.
Katie: Laura has a monopoly on all of the friends. [Beat] Laura, what are you doing? You're weird. [Beat] How do you have all of the friends?
Mom: She's less weird than you are!
[Telephone Pictionary]
Girl, age 14: Is "sexy" a bad word? I'll just use bodacious. How do you spell bodacious?
[The sentence] A bodacious angel wearing tight pants.
Katie: I'm trying not to sound like a dork in this email to Dr. T, and it's not working.
Elizabeth: Katie, it's Dr. T; he already knows you're a dork.
[Dad misbooked
Dad: Well, this is the dumbest, most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
Christina: No, it's not. Remember that time you double-booked Katie on the airplane so she had to sit next to herself?
Katie: Or the time you knocked over the full luggage cart in the parking lot?
"You cannot be everything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be." - Max Lucado
Katie: What's your favorite ice cream?
Boy, age 4: Tomato.
Katie: Tomato? I've never had tomato ice cream.
Boy: NOOO! Cookie dough!
[Bananagrams]
Mom: I wish I had a W to make dwarf. No, I wish I had a D; I have four Ws.
Katie: VBS does a great job of reminding me that I love children but I made the right choice not to go into education.
Laura: Oh. I'm the opposite.
Katie: You hate children and you're glad you're going into education?
Jackie, age 14: We need to all save up our money to buy a house and that way when you all die it can be mine.
Grandpa: What was that noise?
Katie: My fault. I pushed against the table to push my chair back, but apparently I'm heavier than the table.
Mom: First time in her life!
Christina: For my CNA stuff it says I have to be able to lift 50 pounds. How much is 50 pounds? Daddy, come here!
Dad: I weigh more than 50 pounds!
Christina: Ok, Katie, come here!
Katie: I weigh more than 50 pounds, too!
Christina: Fifty-two is close enough.
Mom: Katie! Dad's new scale is busted! It told me I weigh 300 pounds!
Katie: Let me try it. How does it work?
Mom: It doesn't.
Katie: It told me I weigh zero pounds.
Mom: You can have some of mine.
"[B]eing on a God-guided adventure truly is living life on another level than merely competing for wealth and achievement and prizes and toys of this work." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 173
Christian: But I believe in the Trinity!
Melissa: And Pastor Russ doesn't?
Uncle Jay: I'm the alien bringing the hay!
Auntie Gwennie: Are you practicing your Cantonese or your Mandarin?
Katie: My Mandarin.
Auntie Gwennie: Bok choy!
Mom: No, that's a vegetable.
Christina: Look! The moon!
Katie: I don't want to see anyone's moon!
Christina: God's showing us His moon.
Mom: Stop using my arm as a drumstick!
"Prayer is a way to turn dry theological descriptions into warm, living, personal realities. When we live in constant communication with God, our needs are met, our faith increases, and our love expands." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 166
Mom: Do you want milk?
Uncle Bill: No, we have red milk. [wine]
Auntie Gwennie: "Open away from face." What the--? It's a coffee filter, for crying out loud!
Christina: What's she getting?
Joe: I'm a he!
Uncle Bill: I strike on Fourth Street.
Katie: Good thing there are only three streets in cribbage.
"The point of your life is to point to Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 44
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
David: Katie, I especially like the Wacky Wednesday quotes when Nikki's mocking you because they're so funny!
Heather: Evan, get a canoe and row home.
Evan: I would love that but I think it's uphill.
Katie: It wouldn't matter; you'd be in a canoe!
Katie: It's "Yo quiero verTe."
Neal: Yeah, V-E-R-D-E.
Katie: No, V-E-R-T-E. It's "I want to see You" not "I want green."
Andy: What is this? Do I look like a maid? Or a butler?
Amy: The first one.
Nikki: Maid.
Caitlin: You exchanged hats! That's like a promise.
Michael: Yeah! It's a promise ring for gangsters.
Katie: Is that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on your shirt?
Professor: James, do you know your Bible well?
James: No.
Professor: That's because you didn't grow up Lutheran.
Jennifer: Elizabeth, I can feel your heart beat through my butt!
Manolo: Say, "Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua."
Neal: Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua.
Katie: Neal! Stop swearing at us!
Neal: What?
Katie: He's teaching you naughty words!
Neal: Nah! This is a man of the Lord!
[an hour later Manolo did intentionally teach Neal the wrong word]
Nikki: I made a phalic image in this poem and he totally caught it!
Katie: He's a boy. I'm not surprised.
Nikki: No, it was a Biblical image!
Katie: He's a boy and a div school student.
Sara: Katie's always brave and tries the mystery salad from the stir fry line.
[That's really just in here for Mom]
[I'm cutting cookie cake with a butter knife. Andy handed me the machete we use to cut watermelon]
Katie: Will you make the bleeding stop when I cut myself with this knife?
Andy: Yes, but only this once.
Katie: Do you want some cookie cake without any blood on it?
Andy: No, I want blood on mine.
Katie: Well, I'll supply the cookie cake. You'll have to supply the blood.
Boy: I thought it was a fart. But then it rolled down my leg.
Mother: And onto the carpet.
Brother: Yeah, I'll put that on my facebook: my brother pooped on the carpet.
Mother: No.
Boy: Please, Mom?
Ted: Uno, dos, tros.
Mo: Oh, did you see? The directions are in plastic, too.
Jessica: You can't read plastic?
Mo: I mean, English.
Nikki: Do you like your sandwich cut?
Amy: Yes, like animals.
Nikki: You're going to get triangles. Four of them. Actually, I changed my mind and cut your P, B, and J like a pizza.
Erica: Where's Sherry from? America? I thought she was from Australia.
Sara: Are you stretching or giving me a hug?
David: Yes.
Heather: God is so good amidst all this crap.
Katie: She just said a naughty word in the prayer room!
Anonymous Friend: Hell, yeah!
Katie: Nikki! You always walk away when I'm talking!
Nikki: I know that your stories are long enough that I can walk away and come back to hear the real point.
Amy: Ah! I just got my phone charger stuck in the air conditioner vent.
James: I didn't do the assigment.
Professor: Well, that's what we expect from males.
Dad: I had a bad dream last night. I was graduating college and I didn't have a job.
Katie: I'm so glad your nightmare is my reality.
Neal: If you don't perform your role, our body is not whole. So don't let satan convince you that you're insignificant or something you did last week means you're not capable for being part of the body this week. Without you, our joy is not complete and we can't enjoy this trip. Maybe you're a pinky or maybe you're a heart; you're still part of the body.
Heather: Evan, get a canoe and row home.
Evan: I would love that but I think it's uphill.
Katie: It wouldn't matter; you'd be in a canoe!
Katie: It's "Yo quiero verTe."
Neal: Yeah, V-E-R-D-E.
Katie: No, V-E-R-T-E. It's "I want to see You" not "I want green."
Andy: What is this? Do I look like a maid? Or a butler?
Amy: The first one.
Nikki: Maid.
Caitlin: You exchanged hats! That's like a promise.
Michael: Yeah! It's a promise ring for gangsters.
Katie: Is that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on your shirt?
Professor: James, do you know your Bible well?
James: No.
Professor: That's because you didn't grow up Lutheran.
Jennifer: Elizabeth, I can feel your heart beat through my butt!
Manolo: Say, "Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua."
Neal: Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua.
Katie: Neal! Stop swearing at us!
Neal: What?
Katie: He's teaching you naughty words!
Neal: Nah! This is a man of the Lord!
[an hour later Manolo did intentionally teach Neal the wrong word]
Nikki: I made a phalic image in this poem and he totally caught it!
Katie: He's a boy. I'm not surprised.
Nikki: No, it was a Biblical image!
Katie: He's a boy and a div school student.
Sara: Katie's always brave and tries the mystery salad from the stir fry line.
[That's really just in here for Mom]
[I'm cutting cookie cake with a butter knife. Andy handed me the machete we use to cut watermelon]
Katie: Will you make the bleeding stop when I cut myself with this knife?
Andy: Yes, but only this once.
Katie: Do you want some cookie cake without any blood on it?
Andy: No, I want blood on mine.
Katie: Well, I'll supply the cookie cake. You'll have to supply the blood.
Boy: I thought it was a fart. But then it rolled down my leg.
Mother: And onto the carpet.
Brother: Yeah, I'll put that on my facebook: my brother pooped on the carpet.
Mother: No.
Boy: Please, Mom?
Ted: Uno, dos, tros.
Mo: Oh, did you see? The directions are in plastic, too.
Jessica: You can't read plastic?
Mo: I mean, English.
Nikki: Do you like your sandwich cut?
Amy: Yes, like animals.
Nikki: You're going to get triangles. Four of them. Actually, I changed my mind and cut your P, B, and J like a pizza.
Erica: Where's Sherry from? America? I thought she was from Australia.
Sara: Are you stretching or giving me a hug?
David: Yes.
Heather: God is so good amidst all this crap.
Katie: She just said a naughty word in the prayer room!
Anonymous Friend: Hell, yeah!
Katie: Nikki! You always walk away when I'm talking!
Nikki: I know that your stories are long enough that I can walk away and come back to hear the real point.
Amy: Ah! I just got my phone charger stuck in the air conditioner vent.
James: I didn't do the assigment.
Professor: Well, that's what we expect from males.
Dad: I had a bad dream last night. I was graduating college and I didn't have a job.
Katie: I'm so glad your nightmare is my reality.
Neal: If you don't perform your role, our body is not whole. So don't let satan convince you that you're insignificant or something you did last week means you're not capable for being part of the body this week. Without you, our joy is not complete and we can't enjoy this trip. Maybe you're a pinky or maybe you're a heart; you're still part of the body.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Katie: Sometimes broken things are worth keeping.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Allyson: I had to put studs in my ears because my right ear was growing up.
Jennifer: Really? Getting more mature, too?
Katie: Is it going to graduate high school?
Andy: Katie, go home.
Katie: I am home. You can leave.
Nikki: The way Katie plays with hair stresses me out.
Nikki: NO PDA!
Elizabeth: That wasn't PDA! He blew a raspberry on my cheek! There's no affection!
Katie: Nikki, I find it really easy to appreciate you when I don't see you.
Katie [voice]: Andy, if you're in the bathroom for more than five minutes, I'm calling 911.
[Five minutes later]
Katie [text]: It's been five minutes. I'm calling 911.
Andy [text]: I am 911!
Katie [voice]: ANDY!
Andy [voice... from the bathroom]: What?
Katie: This boy's been in my bathroom for more than five minutes.
Katie: You guys can come to my wedding, but it won't be dry.
Jennifer: Then I'm bringing a poncho.
Matt: Missions is praying, giving, and going. If you're not a missionary, you're a mission field.
Nikki: Half the things they talk about in that song we don't do on campus. ["Cheats" by Carrie Underwood]
Katie: Break into cars. Slash tires.
Andy: Listen to country music.
Amber: Is it weird that I don't like being complemented on my interpreting because I don't want to interpret?
Katie: No. It's like me being complemented on my poetry.
Elizabeth: Katie, while you're just standing there, would you make some chocolate chip cookies please? [We don't have an oven]
Elizabeth: Why can't we just defrost the dough in the oven?
Nikki: Because the oven is not a defroster.
Elizabeth: Then put them in the microwave.
Amy: This IS college! I'll call my mom. Mom, this is an emergency! Do we have to thaw the cookie dough before we make them? The directions say to thaw completely but we want cookies NOW!
Katie: I color my hair so I don't get confused for my sister.
Nikki: I never get confused for my sister. Mostly because I'm twice her size.
Jennifer: Dye it--
Nikki: Diet?
Jennifer: --red.
Allyson: Guys, it sounds and feels like there's a thunderstorm in my stomach.
Jennifer: Oooh! I want to hear it!
Katie: Is there lightning too?
Nikki: Katie, I don't understand you sometimes. I wish I were you sometimes.
Church member: Where's your baby?
New Father: We took her back.
College student: Did you get your money back?
New Father: No, you always lose money on those kinds of things.
Nikki: I'd like to make an announcement: It's the day before Tuesday. It's Monday.
Katie: What does it say?
Stephen: Avada Kedavra.
Sara: You just killed Katie Ax!
Katie: AHHH! That's ok. God gave me new life.
Katie: Better [dropping a computer] on a glass table than on my head.
Amy: Make origami.
Katie: I don't know how to make any origami that's pretty.
Jennifer: Like me.
Katie: If I knew origami, I would make a pretty you. Or if I were your parents.
Jennifer, Amy: What did you say?
Katie: I said what you thought I said.
Amy: You said, 'your pants?'
Denaj: Jesus is a great editor.
Matt: God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.
Katie: I'm donating blood tomorrow.
Andy: Are you going to let me start your IV?
Katie: Are you going to be there?
Andy: No.
Katie: Then no.
Andy: Do you have good veins?
Katie [rolling up my sleeve to look]: Yes?
Andy: I could hit them with a needle from across the room. Yes!
Jennifer: I want to say something funny so you will write it in your nerdy notebook.
Nikki, Katie: That doesn't count.
David: Slim pickins.
Heather: Good thing God doesn't say that about us!
Rob: God will move mountains if we're willing to put in the shovel.
Jonathan Martin: If you ask for the fire of God to fall down, just be prepared because you never know what you're going to get.
Katie: ... yogurt out the wazoo.
Nikki: Ew! I don't eat yogurt from the wazoo.
Jennifer: What's a wazoo?
Nikki: I think it's some secret anatomical place.
Katie: Ask Andy.
Jennifer: He would know: he's a wa who lives in a zoo.
Jonathan Martin: What have you done today without expecting anything in return?
Jennifer: Katie, you're lamo kablamo. Put on your wrinkle shirt and lick a bone!
Katie: I'm going to go to my room. People like me there.
Nikki: Katie, there's no one in there.
Katie: Your point?
Katie: It smells like campfire in here.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm straightening my hair.
Katie: Did you do anything fun today?
Andy: No, I didn't [because] I didn't work today. BUT! I did sign up for some EMS hours.
Nikki: Vulnerability and transparency. They're yucky and they're good. They're like vegetables.
By the way, I gave in and am now on Twitter (@KatieAx3), so you can follow our suite bantering in real-time and see quotes that inspire me throughout the day.
Happy Wednesday! I pray no one is drowning in the Snowpocalypse.
<>< Katie
Jennifer: Really? Getting more mature, too?
Katie: Is it going to graduate high school?
Andy: Katie, go home.
Katie: I am home. You can leave.
Nikki: The way Katie plays with hair stresses me out.
Nikki: NO PDA!
Elizabeth: That wasn't PDA! He blew a raspberry on my cheek! There's no affection!
Katie: Nikki, I find it really easy to appreciate you when I don't see you.
Katie [voice]: Andy, if you're in the bathroom for more than five minutes, I'm calling 911.
[Five minutes later]
Katie [text]: It's been five minutes. I'm calling 911.
Andy [text]: I am 911!
Katie [voice]: ANDY!
Andy [voice... from the bathroom]: What?
Katie: This boy's been in my bathroom for more than five minutes.
Katie: You guys can come to my wedding, but it won't be dry.
Jennifer: Then I'm bringing a poncho.
Matt: Missions is praying, giving, and going. If you're not a missionary, you're a mission field.
Nikki: Half the things they talk about in that song we don't do on campus. ["Cheats" by Carrie Underwood]
Katie: Break into cars. Slash tires.
Andy: Listen to country music.
Amber: Is it weird that I don't like being complemented on my interpreting because I don't want to interpret?
Katie: No. It's like me being complemented on my poetry.
Elizabeth: Katie, while you're just standing there, would you make some chocolate chip cookies please? [We don't have an oven]
Elizabeth: Why can't we just defrost the dough in the oven?
Nikki: Because the oven is not a defroster.
Elizabeth: Then put them in the microwave.
Amy: This IS college! I'll call my mom. Mom, this is an emergency! Do we have to thaw the cookie dough before we make them? The directions say to thaw completely but we want cookies NOW!
Katie: I color my hair so I don't get confused for my sister.
Nikki: I never get confused for my sister. Mostly because I'm twice her size.
Jennifer: Dye it--
Nikki: Diet?
Jennifer: --red.
Allyson: Guys, it sounds and feels like there's a thunderstorm in my stomach.
Jennifer: Oooh! I want to hear it!
Katie: Is there lightning too?
Nikki: Katie, I don't understand you sometimes. I wish I were you sometimes.
Church member: Where's your baby?
New Father: We took her back.
College student: Did you get your money back?
New Father: No, you always lose money on those kinds of things.
Nikki: I'd like to make an announcement: It's the day before Tuesday. It's Monday.
Katie: What does it say?
Stephen: Avada Kedavra.
Sara: You just killed Katie Ax!
Katie: AHHH! That's ok. God gave me new life.
Katie: Better [dropping a computer] on a glass table than on my head.
Amy: Make origami.
Katie: I don't know how to make any origami that's pretty.
Jennifer: Like me.
Katie: If I knew origami, I would make a pretty you. Or if I were your parents.
Jennifer, Amy: What did you say?
Katie: I said what you thought I said.
Amy: You said, 'your pants?'
Denaj: Jesus is a great editor.
Matt: God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.
Katie: I'm donating blood tomorrow.
Andy: Are you going to let me start your IV?
Katie: Are you going to be there?
Andy: No.
Katie: Then no.
Andy: Do you have good veins?
Katie [rolling up my sleeve to look]: Yes?
Andy: I could hit them with a needle from across the room. Yes!
Jennifer: I want to say something funny so you will write it in your nerdy notebook.
Nikki, Katie: That doesn't count.
David: Slim pickins.
Heather: Good thing God doesn't say that about us!
Rob: God will move mountains if we're willing to put in the shovel.
Jonathan Martin: If you ask for the fire of God to fall down, just be prepared because you never know what you're going to get.
Katie: ... yogurt out the wazoo.
Nikki: Ew! I don't eat yogurt from the wazoo.
Jennifer: What's a wazoo?
Nikki: I think it's some secret anatomical place.
Katie: Ask Andy.
Jennifer: He would know: he's a wa who lives in a zoo.
Jonathan Martin: What have you done today without expecting anything in return?
Jennifer: Katie, you're lamo kablamo. Put on your wrinkle shirt and lick a bone!
Katie: I'm going to go to my room. People like me there.
Nikki: Katie, there's no one in there.
Katie: Your point?
Katie: It smells like campfire in here.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm straightening my hair.
Katie: Did you do anything fun today?
Andy: No, I didn't [because] I didn't work today. BUT! I did sign up for some EMS hours.
Nikki: Vulnerability and transparency. They're yucky and they're good. They're like vegetables.
By the way, I gave in and am now on Twitter (@KatieAx3), so you can follow our suite bantering in real-time and see quotes that inspire me throughout the day.
Happy Wednesday! I pray no one is drowning in the Snowpocalypse.
<>< Katie
Monday, January 17, 2011
Snapshots: Precious, Priceless, Nerdy, Compassionate
Snapshot One: Precious
Neal bent over to zip his daughter's (age 4? 5?) jacket as they walked towards the caf door. She let him zip it all the way past her chin without protesting. When he stood, she took the cookie in her hand and tried to put it in her mouth, colliding with the jacket zipper instead. Twice she pulled her hand back and jabbed the cookie more forcefully into her jacket. Finally she used her chin to open the zipper just enough to free her mouth and enjoy the caf's mass-produced sugar cookie.
Snapshot Two: Priceless
My friend Emily saw some firemen, in full uniform, building a snowman outside the firehouse. I'm jealous I didn't get to witness this.
Snapshot Three: Nerdy
Elizabeth's boyfriend Andy came into our apartment with a fanny pack of medical stuff that's his to keep. Of course, he had to try it out on himself and Elizabeth. It was hilarious because he's trying to take her blood pressure while she was going out her daily routine, typing papers, and conversing on Skype.
Elizabeth: What was it?
Andy: Good.
Elizabeth: Really?
Andy: Well, I couldn't get the bottom number because you kept moving but the top number was good.
Sometimes Andy and I fight like brother and sister. I consider it good practice because I don't have any biological brothers.
Katie: Nerdy.
Andy: If saving lives is nerdy, then yes.
Katie: Yes.
Andy: I'll keep that in mind in case you ever need to be saved.
Actually, I own and proudly wear a shirt that reads, "Talk nerdy to me." Andy designed it.
Snapshot Four: Compassionate
We were driving through town and saw an SUV stalled on the other side of the median. It had been turning left and died just before it got out of the intersection and into the lane. One intersection away from Wal-mart, this ranks up there as one of the worst places ever for a car to die. The passenger jumped out and started pushing on the side of the car. A few vehicles went around them, and a police officer continued he day obliviously. One car pulled over, and the male driver jumped out to help. A few seconds later, a mini van pulled over, and the male driver jumped out to help. A jeep blocked the lane and intersection behind them with emergency flashers. Together they got the SUV to the side of the road just after our light turned green again. There are caring people in this world!
Neal bent over to zip his daughter's (age 4? 5?) jacket as they walked towards the caf door. She let him zip it all the way past her chin without protesting. When he stood, she took the cookie in her hand and tried to put it in her mouth, colliding with the jacket zipper instead. Twice she pulled her hand back and jabbed the cookie more forcefully into her jacket. Finally she used her chin to open the zipper just enough to free her mouth and enjoy the caf's mass-produced sugar cookie.
Snapshot Two: Priceless
My friend Emily saw some firemen, in full uniform, building a snowman outside the firehouse. I'm jealous I didn't get to witness this.
Snapshot Three: Nerdy
Elizabeth's boyfriend Andy came into our apartment with a fanny pack of medical stuff that's his to keep. Of course, he had to try it out on himself and Elizabeth. It was hilarious because he's trying to take her blood pressure while she was going out her daily routine, typing papers, and conversing on Skype.
Elizabeth: What was it?
Andy: Good.
Elizabeth: Really?
Andy: Well, I couldn't get the bottom number because you kept moving but the top number was good.
Sometimes Andy and I fight like brother and sister. I consider it good practice because I don't have any biological brothers.
Katie: Nerdy.
Andy: If saving lives is nerdy, then yes.
Katie: Yes.
Andy: I'll keep that in mind in case you ever need to be saved.
Actually, I own and proudly wear a shirt that reads, "Talk nerdy to me." Andy designed it.
Snapshot Four: Compassionate
We were driving through town and saw an SUV stalled on the other side of the median. It had been turning left and died just before it got out of the intersection and into the lane. One intersection away from Wal-mart, this ranks up there as one of the worst places ever for a car to die. The passenger jumped out and started pushing on the side of the car. A few vehicles went around them, and a police officer continued he day obliviously. One car pulled over, and the male driver jumped out to help. A few seconds later, a mini van pulled over, and the male driver jumped out to help. A jeep blocked the lane and intersection behind them with emergency flashers. Together they got the SUV to the side of the road just after our light turned green again. There are caring people in this world!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Wacky Wednesday
"If life is worth living, then it is worth recording."
Classmate: What is that?
I glanced down at the brown bottle in my hand.
Classmate: That's kind of bold.
Katie: Well I am from the North. No, actually, it's root beer. They're serving it in the caf for Oktoberfest.
Mom: I'm bored. I want to eat, but I shouldn't. Maybe I'll just go to bed.
Katie: Read a book, that's what you always told me. Did you ever finish Three Cups of Tea?
Mom: No. I lost it.
Katie: You lost it?
Mom: Maybe it's in my music bag, but I'm not really sure. It might be in my van. No, I know it's not in my van. I think it got swallowed by a log cabin magazine.
Katie: The only thing I can actually throw is a pen.
Chelsea: That's the sign of an English major.
Ron Rash: Galloway, who has already killed the typical Rash body count of about a dozen...
[about his amazing book Serena]
Nikki: Chloe told me to feed my cat. I don't have a cat.
Allyson: What if fish were mini-giraffes swimming around? How different would our world be if all our pets were shaped differently.
Isaac [age 3]: There's a Ternanisarus Rex out the window. See it? Do you see any other ones?
Katie: No, I only see one.
[All of the other adults at the table laughed at me]
Elizabeth [to her boyfriend Andy]: It hurt last time you bit me.
Michael: I tend to not put my mouth on things that can electrocute me.
Caitlin: That's why my hair is curly.
[really the outlets exemplify sound if you're anywhere near them]
Dr. Jones: Bekah's carrying a friend to the hospital.
Katie: That's going to take awhile.
Amy: My goal for this year: to understand Katie.
Katie: Good luck.
Uncle: We just scored in the opening kick off and we've got mini-screen!
Dad: Sarah!
Mom: I'm taping my hockey game. Just a second.
Dad: Rewind!
Katie: At my house we have an actual cheese cutter.
Nikki: What's an actual cheese cutter verses a metaphorical cheese cutter?
Katie: An actually cheese cutter stinks up the place and a metaphorical cheese cutter makes a lot of noise.
Katie: My head hurts.
Jennifer: Take medicine.
Katie: I did.
Jennifer: Take more.
Andy: So are we going to the store or what?
Elizabeth: Yes. We need medium trash bags.
Amy: Medium trash bags.
Andy: Medium trash bags.
Elizabeth: Medium trash bags.
Amy: And Katie needs new Scrabble Cheeze-its.
Elizabeth: No she doesn't. We haven't played with hers yet.
Nikki: Roommie, don't be rude and play Banangrams on the floor with Katie's Scrabble Cheeze-its on then put them back into the box. Be considerate and lick all of the germs off of them before you put them away.
Random man on the phone: I'm not shaving my chest hair. Yeah, it's getting really long. It grew a millimeter already.
[Sign Choir practice]
Amber: We could have one or even two Jesuses...
Katie: Sign Choir goes polytheistic... at least we have Jesus in our songs.
[Ten minutes later]
Girl: Wait, how many Gods?
Queen Emily: Religion 1-0-1: One God!
Jake: SURE! The lactose intolerant girl brings cheesecake!
Katie: Brain fart: what's it called when there's a need and you make it go away.
Nikki: Satisfy.
Jennifer: To.
Katie: You to the need?
Jennifer: Yeah, like the number "two."
Amy: Don't let me forget, I have to mail my Compassion child tomorrow.
Katie: DON'T PUT YOUR COMPASSION CHILD IN THE MAIL! Who do you think she is? Flat Stanley?
Jennifer: WHY is there hair in the microwave?
Elizabeth: It goes there, Jennifer; it makes everything more tasty.
Keith: Katie, I'm cold. And I have that exact same sweatshirt.
Katie: Are you asking me to give you the sweatshirt off of my back?
[Keith nodded sheepishly]
Jennifer: I think Allyson's cough is getting to her ears. I said, "Your phone rang," and she thought I said, "Your padre." It was her dad who called, but I didn't know that.
Katie: Where is my phone?
Andy: In your eye.
Katie: EWW! That would be so germy!
Nikki: Don't point out the cell phone in her eye until you remove the laptop from your own eye.
Katie: It didn't work.
Nikki: It would have worked if I had done it.
Katie: That's right because you're better than me at everything.
Nikki: Except being skinny, using random German words and pretending they're English, writing really long blog posts, sanitizing light switches, and not licking things on impulse.
Shellie Warren: But as you mature, hopefully, you will encounter men of character and quality. The bad news is that they may not be your husband. The good news is that they very well could bring you one, two, or ten steps closer to him.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
GIGATT
My heart was not in the right place last night. It was one of those days where all of the little things add up and get to you until the smallest thing causes a waterfall. Someone asks you what's wrong and you can't come up a reason worth crying.
Sure, your unreliable internet spent more time in the "cannot connect" phase than the "connected" phase, but that's not worth crying over. Your laundry was disrespected in the community laundry room, but that's a perk of college life. Today's caf food and your stomach are having an argument, but it will work itself out eventually. A playful sass from your suitemates crossed the invisible line, but that's all (supposedly) backed with love. And you ran out of blaze orange notecards before you were done making notes. But none of those seem to justify the tears.
"Can't one thing just go right please, Lord," I said out loud, much to the chagrin of my sleeping roommate.
I walked into the bathroom to take out my contacts before they were permanently glued to my watery eyes. A drying shirt slung over the shower curtain caught my eye. Big white letters on a black shirt.
I bought this Peder Eide shirt to wear on days where things aren't going too well just so people ask me what my shirt says. Telling them, "God is good all the time" is a great reminder for myself, too.
GIGATT, friends, ATTGIG,
<>< Katie
Sure, your unreliable internet spent more time in the "cannot connect" phase than the "connected" phase, but that's not worth crying over. Your laundry was disrespected in the community laundry room, but that's a perk of college life. Today's caf food and your stomach are having an argument, but it will work itself out eventually. A playful sass from your suitemates crossed the invisible line, but that's all (supposedly) backed with love. And you ran out of blaze orange notecards before you were done making notes. But none of those seem to justify the tears.
"Can't one thing just go right please, Lord," I said out loud, much to the chagrin of my sleeping roommate.
I walked into the bathroom to take out my contacts before they were permanently glued to my watery eyes. A drying shirt slung over the shower curtain caught my eye. Big white letters on a black shirt.
GIGATT
It was as if Andy's bouncy ball hit me in the face.God is Good.
All The Time
Thanks. I needed that.I bought this Peder Eide shirt to wear on days where things aren't going too well just so people ask me what my shirt says. Telling them, "God is good all the time" is a great reminder for myself, too.
GIGATT, friends, ATTGIG,
<>< Katie
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Wacky Wednesday
"If life is worth living, then it is worth recording."
Jennifer: Is that your journal?
Katie: No, it's my Writer's Notebook.
Jennifer: What's the difference? They're both writing, and they're both stupid.
Elizabeth: This is a fun game; there is no blood involved.
Andy: Clearly we have two different definitions of the word "fun." Fun for me always involves blood.
Katie: We do do that.
Sara: Katie Ax said do-do!
Matthew: Katie Ax is wearing a tutu? Um... those are jeans.
Katie: I am not wearing a tutu!
Maintenance Man: What would make a shower head scream?
Amy: Moby [the fish] just ran into a spiderweb.
[Elizabeth had just taken some cough syrup]
Elizabeth: I knew that!
Andy: No you didn't. You're drunk.
Elizabeth: What happened?
[a few days later]
Andy: You're drunk, too.
Katie: But I'm Lutheran; it's allowed.
Jennifer: Katie, it [a dust pan] is used for dirty things. It's ok if people lick it.
Nikki: This is our pet cat.
Courtney: You should hear the story. Really touching. The arts and crafts store was just going to throw him out.
Nikki: So we saved him, but we laminated him when we found out Presley was allergic.
Presley: That's why he's so shiny.
[All three of them are petting a paper cat]
Jennifer: I didn't know if you like feet.
Katie: I don't like them in my nose, but I don't mind them in general.
Jennifer: My toes don't fit in your nose. I have big toes and noses are generally small, but if you lie your nose will grow. So, Katie, you need to say lots of lies, so my toes will fit in your nose.
Katie: Jennifer, you're a weird thing that happens.
Jennifer: I only happened once.
Karissa: Are you guys Apple people?
Katie: No, that's Megan's apple. She asked me to get it for her from the caf.
Karissa: No, I meant are you a Mac or a Windows person?
Katie: Oh, Windows definitely. But I can use Macs.
Holden: Last time we went fishing Christian got his line tangled in mine. I just let my line out so he could untangle them, but he cut my line. When I reeled it in there was nothing there. He stole my hook!
Christian: He hit me in the face with a basketball. He just threw it in the dark and it hit me in the face.
Holden: He beat me up with a bowling pin.
Christian: But he found a pool noodle.
[Unfortunately, I really believe these hold at least some elements of the truth]
Danielle: I love fire, but I hate ovens. They scare me. It's so hot in there.
Dr. Z: People don't suffocate on Saran Wrap with other people around.
[We didn't test this theory]
Jennifer: Cheese [pronounced "Cheeth"] is so much better than Twilight.
Jennifer: We should make a movie as a suite.
Andy: It should be a musical.
Jennifer: I was thinking more like a horror musical.
Elizabeth: I'm in charge of the fake blood!
Nikki: Andy's in charge of side effects. I mean sound effects.
Amy: OOOH! I'll kill Liz!
Allyson: What did the popsicle go best the peanut butter?
Nikki: Did you just mess up the joke and the punch line's in there?
Allyson: No!
Nikki: I think you did. You're on drugs. [Legal, prescription ones]
Allyson: Wait! What kind of fish goes best with peanut butter? That was the joke on my popsicle.
Nikki: I don't know.
Allyson: Jelly fish! [Bursts out laughing while Nikki blinks]
Jennifer [on Nikki's facebook wall]: Thanks for the popcycle dart that you kindly threw at my head.
Nikki: Well, whenever I'm finished with my pop-cycle and I'll move on to my rap-cycle and then into my country-cycle to be concluded with my jazz-cycle... oh and maybe I'll have a krunk-cycle... then I'll go to the freezer and grab a popsicle dart and kindly throw it at your head again... in other words... you're welcome.
Andy: AHHH!! STOP talking about your cycles in the presence of men!
Jennifer: I hate rooming with English majors... obviously I can't spell because that POPSICLE dart hit me right in the temple and you could care less.
Nikki: Touche. My aim, it is too accurate. Almost in a mathematical sense, wouldn't you say?
Elizabeth: Now put your back arms on the pool noodle--
Katie: What do I do with my front arms?
Katie: Jamee actually updates her blog.
Kevin: You know what's funny? I updated mine, what, three times over the summer and I have five new followers. Katie updates hers everyday--
Katie: Not everyday!
John: Every other day, excuse us! You know, I might delete mine. It just takes too much thought and energy.
Kevin: I hate those two things!
Jennifer: Is that your journal?
Katie: No, it's my Writer's Notebook.
Jennifer: What's the difference? They're both writing, and they're both stupid.
Elizabeth: This is a fun game; there is no blood involved.
Andy: Clearly we have two different definitions of the word "fun." Fun for me always involves blood.
Katie: We do do that.
Sara: Katie Ax said do-do!
Matthew: Katie Ax is wearing a tutu? Um... those are jeans.
Katie: I am not wearing a tutu!
Maintenance Man: What would make a shower head scream?
Amy: Moby [the fish] just ran into a spiderweb.
[Elizabeth had just taken some cough syrup]
Elizabeth: I knew that!
Andy: No you didn't. You're drunk.
Elizabeth: What happened?
[a few days later]
Andy: You're drunk, too.
Katie: But I'm Lutheran; it's allowed.
Jennifer: Katie, it [a dust pan] is used for dirty things. It's ok if people lick it.
Nikki: This is our pet cat.
Courtney: You should hear the story. Really touching. The arts and crafts store was just going to throw him out.
Nikki: So we saved him, but we laminated him when we found out Presley was allergic.
Presley: That's why he's so shiny.
[All three of them are petting a paper cat]
Jennifer: I didn't know if you like feet.
Katie: I don't like them in my nose, but I don't mind them in general.
Jennifer: My toes don't fit in your nose. I have big toes and noses are generally small, but if you lie your nose will grow. So, Katie, you need to say lots of lies, so my toes will fit in your nose.
Katie: Jennifer, you're a weird thing that happens.
Jennifer: I only happened once.
Karissa: Are you guys Apple people?
Katie: No, that's Megan's apple. She asked me to get it for her from the caf.
Karissa: No, I meant are you a Mac or a Windows person?
Katie: Oh, Windows definitely. But I can use Macs.
Holden: Last time we went fishing Christian got his line tangled in mine. I just let my line out so he could untangle them, but he cut my line. When I reeled it in there was nothing there. He stole my hook!
Christian: He hit me in the face with a basketball. He just threw it in the dark and it hit me in the face.
Holden: He beat me up with a bowling pin.
Christian: But he found a pool noodle.
[Unfortunately, I really believe these hold at least some elements of the truth]
Danielle: I love fire, but I hate ovens. They scare me. It's so hot in there.
Dr. Z: People don't suffocate on Saran Wrap with other people around.
[We didn't test this theory]
Jennifer: Cheese [pronounced "Cheeth"] is so much better than Twilight.
Jennifer: We should make a movie as a suite.
Andy: It should be a musical.
Jennifer: I was thinking more like a horror musical.
Elizabeth: I'm in charge of the fake blood!
Nikki: Andy's in charge of side effects. I mean sound effects.
Amy: OOOH! I'll kill Liz!
Allyson: What did the popsicle go best the peanut butter?
Nikki: Did you just mess up the joke and the punch line's in there?
Allyson: No!
Nikki: I think you did. You're on drugs. [Legal, prescription ones]
Allyson: Wait! What kind of fish goes best with peanut butter? That was the joke on my popsicle.
Nikki: I don't know.
Allyson: Jelly fish! [Bursts out laughing while Nikki blinks]
Jennifer [on Nikki's facebook wall]: Thanks for the popcycle dart that you kindly threw at my head.
Nikki: Well, whenever I'm finished with my pop-cycle and I'll move on to my rap-cycle and then into my country-cycle to be concluded with my jazz-cycle... oh and maybe I'll have a krunk-cycle... then I'll go to the freezer and grab a popsicle dart and kindly throw it at your head again... in other words... you're welcome.
Andy: AHHH!! STOP talking about your cycles in the presence of men!
Jennifer: I hate rooming with English majors... obviously I can't spell because that POPSICLE dart hit me right in the temple and you could care less.
Nikki: Touche. My aim, it is too accurate. Almost in a mathematical sense, wouldn't you say?
Elizabeth: Now put your back arms on the pool noodle--
Katie: What do I do with my front arms?
Katie: Jamee actually updates her blog.
Kevin: You know what's funny? I updated mine, what, three times over the summer and I have five new followers. Katie updates hers everyday--
Katie: Not everyday!
John: Every other day, excuse us! You know, I might delete mine. It just takes too much thought and energy.
Kevin: I hate those two things!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
"Who let the dogs out?"
In my media writing class, we're doing a unit on journalism. It bores me to tears because I need the freedom to embellish rather than being confined by the truth and bland format. This is an exception. <>< Katie
A college student was attacked by three dogs while walking through a campus apartment building.
Katie Ax, 21, was on her way to a meeting around dusk on Sunday night when three small dogs burst out of the apartment unchaperoned and began to viciously bark, jump, and bite.
"It's one of those things you imagine in dreams, but the marks on my legs tell me it was real life," Ax says.
The owner of the dogs, a mother visiting campus for the weekend, claims they are not prone to attacking and are up to date on their shots. However, Ax still questions why they were on campus in the first place since the only pets permitted are fish.
Ax says when she returned to her apartment an hour later, her roommates and their respective boyfriends were concerned, especially when she showed them the gashes in her leg where the dogs bit through jeans and flesh.
Andy, the resident "medical person" and his girlfriend Elizabeth took Ax to report the situation, Allyson and Jennifer photographed the injury, and Amy sought an unscented bar of soap.
Ax is hopeful of her full recovery and steps are being taken to avoid infection. A representative for the campus disability center, Laura, said if Ax were to lose her leg she could no longer live in her current apartment since it is not ADA approved; however, her disability would get her priority registration for classes and the ability to request a note-taker.
A college student was attacked by three dogs while walking through a campus apartment building.
Katie Ax, 21, was on her way to a meeting around dusk on Sunday night when three small dogs burst out of the apartment unchaperoned and began to viciously bark, jump, and bite.
"It's one of those things you imagine in dreams, but the marks on my legs tell me it was real life," Ax says.
The owner of the dogs, a mother visiting campus for the weekend, claims they are not prone to attacking and are up to date on their shots. However, Ax still questions why they were on campus in the first place since the only pets permitted are fish.
Ax says when she returned to her apartment an hour later, her roommates and their respective boyfriends were concerned, especially when she showed them the gashes in her leg where the dogs bit through jeans and flesh.
Andy, the resident "medical person" and his girlfriend Elizabeth took Ax to report the situation, Allyson and Jennifer photographed the injury, and Amy sought an unscented bar of soap.
Ax is hopeful of her full recovery and steps are being taken to avoid infection. A representative for the campus disability center, Laura, said if Ax were to lose her leg she could no longer live in her current apartment since it is not ADA approved; however, her disability would get her priority registration for classes and the ability to request a note-taker.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Is this normal?
I've got a not-so-rare genetic disease. I got it from my mom. My sisters have it, too, but theirs isn't as severe.
When I was home in March, we couldn't park Maxwell (my dad's car) in the garage because there were new windows there. They couldn't put the new windows in until the wood floor on the first floor was refinished. They couldn't refinish the floor until they (a) decided on a color (b) sanded down all of the footboards in the entire house and refinished those with three coats of varnish. Yes, my mother on her hands and knees sanding the upstairs bathroom (with linoleum floor and no windows) is getting us one step closer to a refinished wood floor and replaced windows. Two months later, the windows are still in the garage. This is our disease: the inability to complete one project before moving on to the next.
My arrival home spurred a big episode...
My task: unpack the cars and fit everything into my bedroom or under the ping pong table downstairs. The living room make be borrowed but only until Laura's graduation party in late June.
Step One: clean the bedroom
This means all of the papers previously heaped neatly in the corner under the window are now sorted in piles and scattered across the room. Before finding homes for all of these "important documents" I moved on to step two.
Step Two: Operation Bookshelf
My family's notorious for trying to fit too much furniture in a single room. Right now, that room is my bedroom. It's already full with a matching bedroom set, I've added two white CD cases, and now a Dad-made bookshelf. Problem: there is no wall space for the bookshelf. I began sorting and piling next to the door to find a space for said bookshelf, thus adding to the mountains of paper sorted neatly all over the room. I also entertian the idea of rearranging every piece of furniture in my bedroom in order to accomodate said bookshelf. However, I then remember Mom and I have no upper body strength and Dad's not allowed to lift anything heavy. He's never been one for the rules, so I don't dare tempt him. Time to move on to step three.
Step Three: You have a window seat?
Well, a windowseat for the cats. It's so full of stuff animals that sometimes I'm working in my room for a solid five minutes before I realize one of my stuff animals is moving... hello, Cow (our holstein kitty whose name is really Sparkle). All of the stuff animals have been sorted into two piles: keep, donate. Donate pile moves to Mom and Dad's bedroom. Keep pile stays on my bed. Long-term they go into a plastic tub I have in the basement, but, go figure, it's on the bottom of the stack of tubs. Dad's still not allowed to lift anything heavy.
Step Four: Put photos in picture frames
You've had those picture frames for years; maybe it's time you put something in them. Go downstairs to the computer with a printer and search for the perfect photos. While you're waiting for the page to load, waste no time and blog a little bit. Make sure to read Kevin's hilarious blog about the humbling experience that was dislocating his shoulder. (Yes, Mr. "Katie, you update too much" forgot about his blog for a month... at least I'm loyal to my readers)
Step Five: Dad wants his car back
Translation: get your dorm room out of Maxwell. Freshman year, my dorm room lived in the living room all summer. Last year, it was almost a month before I unpacked my car (named Andy). We'll see what happens this year.
Step Six: Bedtime.
Oh, snap. I have a bed? And a safe fire escape for the middle of the night? Let's put these papers into a nice pile under the window, the stuff animals can live on the windowseat, and the bookshelf can chill in the middle of the room. What a successful day! :-)
Do you have this disease too? To my knowledge there is no known cure. However, books have be written about this horrible condition. They are entitled: If You Give a Moose a Muffin and If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Check them out at your local library, don't forget to put gas in your car and pick up cheese at the grocery store on the way there.
<>< Katie
When I was home in March, we couldn't park Maxwell (my dad's car) in the garage because there were new windows there. They couldn't put the new windows in until the wood floor on the first floor was refinished. They couldn't refinish the floor until they (a) decided on a color (b) sanded down all of the footboards in the entire house and refinished those with three coats of varnish. Yes, my mother on her hands and knees sanding the upstairs bathroom (with linoleum floor and no windows) is getting us one step closer to a refinished wood floor and replaced windows. Two months later, the windows are still in the garage. This is our disease: the inability to complete one project before moving on to the next.
My arrival home spurred a big episode...
My task: unpack the cars and fit everything into my bedroom or under the ping pong table downstairs. The living room make be borrowed but only until Laura's graduation party in late June.
Step One: clean the bedroom
This means all of the papers previously heaped neatly in the corner under the window are now sorted in piles and scattered across the room. Before finding homes for all of these "important documents" I moved on to step two.
Step Two: Operation Bookshelf
My family's notorious for trying to fit too much furniture in a single room. Right now, that room is my bedroom. It's already full with a matching bedroom set, I've added two white CD cases, and now a Dad-made bookshelf. Problem: there is no wall space for the bookshelf. I began sorting and piling next to the door to find a space for said bookshelf, thus adding to the mountains of paper sorted neatly all over the room. I also entertian the idea of rearranging every piece of furniture in my bedroom in order to accomodate said bookshelf. However, I then remember Mom and I have no upper body strength and Dad's not allowed to lift anything heavy. He's never been one for the rules, so I don't dare tempt him. Time to move on to step three.
Step Three: You have a window seat?
Well, a windowseat for the cats. It's so full of stuff animals that sometimes I'm working in my room for a solid five minutes before I realize one of my stuff animals is moving... hello, Cow (our holstein kitty whose name is really Sparkle). All of the stuff animals have been sorted into two piles: keep, donate. Donate pile moves to Mom and Dad's bedroom. Keep pile stays on my bed. Long-term they go into a plastic tub I have in the basement, but, go figure, it's on the bottom of the stack of tubs. Dad's still not allowed to lift anything heavy.
Step Four: Put photos in picture frames
You've had those picture frames for years; maybe it's time you put something in them. Go downstairs to the computer with a printer and search for the perfect photos. While you're waiting for the page to load, waste no time and blog a little bit. Make sure to read Kevin's hilarious blog about the humbling experience that was dislocating his shoulder. (Yes, Mr. "Katie, you update too much" forgot about his blog for a month... at least I'm loyal to my readers)
Step Five: Dad wants his car back
Translation: get your dorm room out of Maxwell. Freshman year, my dorm room lived in the living room all summer. Last year, it was almost a month before I unpacked my car (named Andy). We'll see what happens this year.
Step Six: Bedtime.
Oh, snap. I have a bed? And a safe fire escape for the middle of the night? Let's put these papers into a nice pile under the window, the stuff animals can live on the windowseat, and the bookshelf can chill in the middle of the room. What a successful day! :-)
Do you have this disease too? To my knowledge there is no known cure. However, books have be written about this horrible condition. They are entitled: If You Give a Moose a Muffin and If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Check them out at your local library, don't forget to put gas in your car and pick up cheese at the grocery store on the way there.
<>< Katie
Friday, May 14, 2010
Finals Week
I'm kind of on a roll spilling secrets this week, so we're going to go with one more: I love exam week.
1. Boing, Boing, Boing
There is this unwritten rule against throwing bouncy balls inside the apartment. I grew up in a house with a strictly-enforced "no throwing balls in the house" rule, but apparently Andy didn't. It's not unusual to find bouncy balls whipped at you from across the room. Well, over the last semester these bouncy balls have disappeared into dark crevices of life. Since we're actively moving out, they've been reappearing and flipped into full action. Boing, boing, boing.
2. Out to Dinner
I rode an hour with my adoptive family to have dinner with my parents. It was weird to arrive with someone else, eat with those people and my parents, and leave with someone else. Just to paint the picture for you: my dad is shy, naive, and quiet. So is Ruth. Dr. Z is a strange bird, and Mom is Sarah Palin. Yes, I think we were the waitress's favorite table that day. Well, we were her only table for awhile because we scared away the rest of the guests... Oops. By the end of dinner she'd challenged my dad to go trout fishing in the lake and offered to play frisbee with Malachi in the parking lot. On the ride back, we tried to use the words "indefatigable" and "perspicacity" in normal conversation. Bonus points if you could get them both into a single sentence.
3. How did this happen?
Allyson and I use two separate bathrooms, so how we met outside one to do this I'm still not sure. I had my "gooked" electric toothbrush in my right hand held high above my head. In my left I held Allyson's left wrist. In her right hand she had an open bottle of listerine. Realizing how silly we looked we burst out laughing and couldn't figure out what we were doing. Something about Allyson wanting to turn on my toothbrush and spray toothpaste all over the apartment...
4. Breakfast of Champions
The incentive to walk to the caf to eat breakfast before an exam is virtually non-existent. Luckily, we also have to use up our points and eat all of the bizarre food we've accumulated throughout the semester. Nikki ate a re-heated hot dog, chips, and old cheese dip. Allyson ate some chocolate cake with her whipped cream. Chris, an hour away and unaware of our creativity, had a peanut butter sandwich. I feel lame for eating an apple and peanut butter (by clutching the jar of peanut butter between my knees); I really don't like apples.
5. EXPECTO PATRONUM!
Allyson's taking a conducting class right now, so her baton is waving as she prepares. Carrie borrowed said baton and turned it into a Harry Potter wand. My favorite part is when she speaks into the end of the wand so that it can hear her better. :-)
6. (in the middle of a class discussion exam)
Dr. T: Alex Haley and Malcolm X co-write the Autobiography of Malcolm X, and they both have "X" in their name. Isn't that weird?
Katie: What do you have against people that have "X"es in their names?
Dr. T: Nothing... it's just... Saxon has an "X," too, and you're sitting next to each other.
Katie: It was the "X" factor that drew us together on this side of the room.
Dr. T: My middle name is "X."
Katie: Are you lying to me?
Dr. T: It's Xavier.
Katie: You are lying to me.
The rest of the class kind of stared at us.
7. Redecorating?
Nikki: Remember that one time our phones used the same charger?
Katie: Remember that one time you asked to borrow my phone charger and I said no because you licked me?
I do remember that one time when Nikki stole my phone charger and replaced all of the photos on my bulletin board with Kleenexes... Thanks.
8. Why is Cornhole in our apartment? (aka Bean Bag Toss)
I really don't know, but we played. Who says Cornhole's an outdoor game? We played in the living room with one person standing on the Platonic Love Seat and the other standing one of the arm chairs. I'm better inside than out.
9. Four Hour Exams
It started innocently enough at 6pm. By 6:30 our class of eight was seated around Dr. Paul's dining room table eating summer chili, chocolate-covered pretzels, and (get this!) fresh strawberries. By 7:15 we were having a living room discussion of the Christology of William Paul Young as found in his book, The Shack. By 8, we'd looked up the Wii Fit. For the next two hours we pondered how "Grandaddy" was born in 1975, is 5'7", and weighs 107 pounds... Either way, he looks great while juggling, hula hooping, and flying in a chicken suit!
10. Moving
This is my least favorite part of spring exam week: studying and packing at the same time. Some of my stuff goes to storage; some of my stuff goes home. Friday means 14 hours of driving, three cars and two drivers. Wait. Switch that. I guess I'm not indefatigable. By the time you're reading this, we've probably gotten a little giggly in the car. After retelling our favorite stories we'll start playing word games. Dad's a "numbers guy" so he loves writing sentences like "Tiny Tim tinkled in the timbers" or "Blue birch-bark burn on Bob's bum." Mom's a little bit better. :-)
Bon voyage and bueno suerte,
<>< Katie
1. Boing, Boing, Boing
There is this unwritten rule against throwing bouncy balls inside the apartment. I grew up in a house with a strictly-enforced "no throwing balls in the house" rule, but apparently Andy didn't. It's not unusual to find bouncy balls whipped at you from across the room. Well, over the last semester these bouncy balls have disappeared into dark crevices of life. Since we're actively moving out, they've been reappearing and flipped into full action. Boing, boing, boing.
2. Out to Dinner
I rode an hour with my adoptive family to have dinner with my parents. It was weird to arrive with someone else, eat with those people and my parents, and leave with someone else. Just to paint the picture for you: my dad is shy, naive, and quiet. So is Ruth. Dr. Z is a strange bird, and Mom is Sarah Palin. Yes, I think we were the waitress's favorite table that day. Well, we were her only table for awhile because we scared away the rest of the guests... Oops. By the end of dinner she'd challenged my dad to go trout fishing in the lake and offered to play frisbee with Malachi in the parking lot. On the ride back, we tried to use the words "indefatigable" and "perspicacity" in normal conversation. Bonus points if you could get them both into a single sentence.
3. How did this happen?
Allyson and I use two separate bathrooms, so how we met outside one to do this I'm still not sure. I had my "gooked" electric toothbrush in my right hand held high above my head. In my left I held Allyson's left wrist. In her right hand she had an open bottle of listerine. Realizing how silly we looked we burst out laughing and couldn't figure out what we were doing. Something about Allyson wanting to turn on my toothbrush and spray toothpaste all over the apartment...
4. Breakfast of Champions
The incentive to walk to the caf to eat breakfast before an exam is virtually non-existent. Luckily, we also have to use up our points and eat all of the bizarre food we've accumulated throughout the semester. Nikki ate a re-heated hot dog, chips, and old cheese dip. Allyson ate some chocolate cake with her whipped cream. Chris, an hour away and unaware of our creativity, had a peanut butter sandwich. I feel lame for eating an apple and peanut butter (by clutching the jar of peanut butter between my knees); I really don't like apples.
5. EXPECTO PATRONUM!
Allyson's taking a conducting class right now, so her baton is waving as she prepares. Carrie borrowed said baton and turned it into a Harry Potter wand. My favorite part is when she speaks into the end of the wand so that it can hear her better. :-)
6. (in the middle of a class discussion exam)
Dr. T: Alex Haley and Malcolm X co-write the Autobiography of Malcolm X, and they both have "X" in their name. Isn't that weird?
Katie: What do you have against people that have "X"es in their names?
Dr. T: Nothing... it's just... Saxon has an "X," too, and you're sitting next to each other.
Katie: It was the "X" factor that drew us together on this side of the room.
Dr. T: My middle name is "X."
Katie: Are you lying to me?
Dr. T: It's Xavier.
Katie: You are lying to me.
The rest of the class kind of stared at us.
7. Redecorating?
Nikki: Remember that one time our phones used the same charger?
Katie: Remember that one time you asked to borrow my phone charger and I said no because you licked me?
I do remember that one time when Nikki stole my phone charger and replaced all of the photos on my bulletin board with Kleenexes... Thanks.
8. Why is Cornhole in our apartment? (aka Bean Bag Toss)
I really don't know, but we played. Who says Cornhole's an outdoor game? We played in the living room with one person standing on the Platonic Love Seat and the other standing one of the arm chairs. I'm better inside than out.
9. Four Hour Exams
It started innocently enough at 6pm. By 6:30 our class of eight was seated around Dr. Paul's dining room table eating summer chili, chocolate-covered pretzels, and (get this!) fresh strawberries. By 7:15 we were having a living room discussion of the Christology of William Paul Young as found in his book, The Shack. By 8, we'd looked up the Wii Fit. For the next two hours we pondered how "Grandaddy" was born in 1975, is 5'7", and weighs 107 pounds... Either way, he looks great while juggling, hula hooping, and flying in a chicken suit!
10. Moving
This is my least favorite part of spring exam week: studying and packing at the same time. Some of my stuff goes to storage; some of my stuff goes home. Friday means 14 hours of driving, three cars and two drivers. Wait. Switch that. I guess I'm not indefatigable. By the time you're reading this, we've probably gotten a little giggly in the car. After retelling our favorite stories we'll start playing word games. Dad's a "numbers guy" so he loves writing sentences like "Tiny Tim tinkled in the timbers" or "Blue birch-bark burn on Bob's bum." Mom's a little bit better. :-)
Bon voyage and bueno suerte,
<>< Katie
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Campfire
Earlier this semester I read a blog about a little boy with burns that reminded me of my own burn story. The resonance hit me hard and after two days of dwelling finally I decided to take my own classic advice and "write about it." I've written about it a million times before, but it was time to do it again and a little differently.
On the first day of my Human Biology class the professor said, "This is the non-science majors class. I realize all of you are only here because you have to be. You're not science people and that's ok, but for me to remember that I'm going to think of you all as my father. My father was a poet. In my brain, you are all poets."
I remember thinking to myself, I'm not a poet, but I am closer to a poet than a scientist.
I'm still not a poet, but I wrote a poem explaining why I once told Andy I'm allergic to fire.
<>< Katie
"Campfire"On the first day of my Human Biology class the professor said, "This is the non-science majors class. I realize all of you are only here because you have to be. You're not science people and that's ok, but for me to remember that I'm going to think of you all as my father. My father was a poet. In my brain, you are all poets."
I remember thinking to myself, I'm not a poet, but I am closer to a poet than a scientist.
I'm still not a poet, but I wrote a poem explaining why I once told Andy I'm allergic to fire.
<>< Katie
She ran her fingers over
discolored imperfections on her forearms
before pulling down her sleeves to hide
the scars of a clumsy childhood.
She didn’t remember
tripping over the pesky shoelace,
the metal safety rim bruising her leg.
But all too well she remembered
failing to choke back the tears
as smoldering coals gripped her forearms,
the firm grasp on the back of her shirt,
her rescuer, her mother,
dragging her to the a perfectly-placed water pump,
as if it had been awaiting her misfortune.
She remembered the
pain as her skin burned,
embarrassment of her own misstep,
fear and unknown in the Emergency Room
the doctor poking incessantly asking if she felt it.
Yes. It hurt.
She remembered the rules
no pool, no sun.
A bird was told not to fly.
She tried to argue but
her voice had vanished,
the verdict not negotiable.
She remembered
devastation,
summer lasting an eternity
bandages over both arms,
trying in vain to dry one hand,
always refusing to explain why.
Years later the bandages are gone,
but the scars remain like
she tanned while wearing fishnets,
even if only for her to see
and still she avoids explaining.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
My life is awesome
Author's Note: All of the following is a collection of achronological stories that have all happened in the last two days. Minor creative liberties may have been taken but these stories are as true as I can put them to where a reader can understand without having actually been here. Please don't pity me. I am cranky, but I am not being sarcastic; my life is awesome. Enjoy. <>< K
My life is awesome
Katie: Guys, I just had another bloody nose.
Andy: I'm trained handle that.
Elizabeth: How many times do we have to tell you, Katie: stop getting punched in the face!
Katie: It was Allyson!
(side note: this is a whole lot funnier if you know Allyson because she'd never hurt a fly)
Allyson (butter knife in hand): Do you want me to cut off your nose? That would help!
Katie: Actually, I think that'd make it bleed a bit more.
Andy: Well, look at it this way: it would hurt and bleed a lot right away but then you'd never have to worry about it again!
Elizabeth: Yeah, 'cuz you'd be dead.
(insert big argument about whether or not it's possible to live after getting your nose chopped off with a butter knife)
My life is awesome
Nikki: Gah! Why don't I ever date my notes?
Katie: Because they're not male.
Nikki: I never send my notes in the mail.
My life is awesome
Katie: Is that your mom or Andy on the phone?
Elizabeth: Huh?
Katie: Is that your mom or Andy on the phone?
Elizabeth: I still can't understand Katie's man-voice.
Nikki: You mean Kenny's man-voice?
Elizabeth: Talk to me again when you sound normal.
Katie (in the most pitiful stuffy-nose voice I could make): Just because I don't have a sense of smell doesn't mean I don't have feelings!
My life is awesome
If you've never been in an ASL class it's hard to imagine twenty people sitting around in complete silence when no one has died. Please try to picture it for me. Oh, and we were watching a silent movie, so... well... we know what happens when videos are shown in class... Anyway, I was in desperate need of some Tylenol. This cold might kill me, my headache was not helping, and after watching 50 minutes of ASL storytelling on a small tv screen you'd be groping for Tylenol, too. I was trying to decide if it would have been socially acceptable to take it in the middle of class. Most classes I wouldn't have cared, but this one is completely silent, so all of my classmates will hear me unzip my personal pharmacy; the bottle rattle; plus, I dropped my Nalgene splash guard on the floor yesterday and haven't had time to wash it, so I'm going to make a noisy mess as I nearly drown myself trying to swallow the pesky pill; eventually I'll give up and the "crunch" will reverberate through the classroom as if we were in a tunnel. This was my very long internal debate. I finally decided I didn't care: I needed some Tylenol. So I uncrossed my legs and began to dig into my backpack, but before I got there I accidently kicked one of the desks in front of me. "That desk is going to fall and there is nothing I can do about it." It fell in slow motion and the clang rang through the previously silent classroom.
My. Life. Is. Awesome.
My life is awesome
Katie: Guys, I just had another bloody nose.
Andy: I'm trained handle that.
Elizabeth: How many times do we have to tell you, Katie: stop getting punched in the face!
Katie: It was Allyson!
(side note: this is a whole lot funnier if you know Allyson because she'd never hurt a fly)
Allyson (butter knife in hand): Do you want me to cut off your nose? That would help!
Katie: Actually, I think that'd make it bleed a bit more.
Andy: Well, look at it this way: it would hurt and bleed a lot right away but then you'd never have to worry about it again!
Elizabeth: Yeah, 'cuz you'd be dead.
(insert big argument about whether or not it's possible to live after getting your nose chopped off with a butter knife)
My life is awesome
Nikki: Gah! Why don't I ever date my notes?
Katie: Because they're not male.
Nikki: I never send my notes in the mail.
My life is awesome
Katie: Is that your mom or Andy on the phone?
Elizabeth: Huh?
Katie: Is that your mom or Andy on the phone?
Elizabeth: I still can't understand Katie's man-voice.
Nikki: You mean Kenny's man-voice?
Elizabeth: Talk to me again when you sound normal.
Katie (in the most pitiful stuffy-nose voice I could make): Just because I don't have a sense of smell doesn't mean I don't have feelings!
My life is awesome
If you've never been in an ASL class it's hard to imagine twenty people sitting around in complete silence when no one has died. Please try to picture it for me. Oh, and we were watching a silent movie, so... well... we know what happens when videos are shown in class... Anyway, I was in desperate need of some Tylenol. This cold might kill me, my headache was not helping, and after watching 50 minutes of ASL storytelling on a small tv screen you'd be groping for Tylenol, too. I was trying to decide if it would have been socially acceptable to take it in the middle of class. Most classes I wouldn't have cared, but this one is completely silent, so all of my classmates will hear me unzip my personal pharmacy; the bottle rattle; plus, I dropped my Nalgene splash guard on the floor yesterday and haven't had time to wash it, so I'm going to make a noisy mess as I nearly drown myself trying to swallow the pesky pill; eventually I'll give up and the "crunch" will reverberate through the classroom as if we were in a tunnel. This was my very long internal debate. I finally decided I didn't care: I needed some Tylenol. So I uncrossed my legs and began to dig into my backpack, but before I got there I accidently kicked one of the desks in front of me. "That desk is going to fall and there is nothing I can do about it." It fell in slow motion and the clang rang through the previously silent classroom.
My. Life. Is. Awesome.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Significant First
It came today. The first of many, I’m sure. I might even accumulate enough to write an obscenity on the wall. Except while this was a surprise to me, it was not a surprise to God. He saw it coming. He let it come and during this hard week. He was sitting next to me when my first rejection letter made its way into my inbox. I realize I’m a writer. I realize I’m going to face a lot of these in my life. There’s no way to avoid them except by not sharing. That’s what hurts the most. I was confident with this one. Yes, apparently over confident. The people that rejected these pieces are the same people that keep urging me to share. Here I have and it’s shot down. Reject my work. That’s fine. I can’t win them all. However, please tell me why. What makes my pieces different from the other pieces that made it? I’m not saying my piece was perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect piece; I want to know where I can improve. I won’t take it personally. I won’t give them evil stares across the classroom tomorrow, but that doesn’t stop the waterfall that’s running down my face.
Rejection letter = upset = tears = runny nose = blow nose = (fear of) bloody nose
It’s been a long time since I’ve taken math but Chris tells me that means I could just say:
rejection letter = bloody nose.
Translation? Rejection letters punch me in the face.
The next step is my decision. Am I going to punch someone else in the face or am I going to move on? Am I going to let the pen dry out, pick a new major, and find a new career goal or am I going to accept this and realize it’ll happen again but some day it’ll change? Am I going to stay here hiding in my bedroom, ignoring text messages or am I going to go out in the living room and laugh at the formerly-constipated, now-possessed plastic mooing love cow? The choice is mine.
I did venture out. I opted against going to my writers' group where I could wallow in pity with other rejects, if there were any. Instead, I went to sign choir and kicked tables. A classroom magically turns into a practice studio on Wednesday nights and that means all of the tables and chairs need to be collapsed and disposed of into the closet. It's incredibly theraputic to kick in the hinges of class tables.
I tried to laugh and brush off the sasses but they hurt more than they do on an average day. Especially the, "Katie, are you even literate?" when I misread the Wii directions. It was a joke on my direction-following ability not my writing.
I remembered it's not Lent anymore, so I took my own cliche advice and wrote about it. I guess the events of Wednesday weren't better than Tuesday. In fact, the tears flowed instead of just threatening to do so, but my mood over all was better. Even just a little. I really appreciate your prayers today, and I could use a double dose tomorrow, please.
What really helped was Andy willingly playing "For the Moments I Feel Faint" by Relient K. If you don't want to take a second to listen to the song, at least read the lyrics and sing them back to me when I forget them.
Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?
[Chorus:]
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.
Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong
I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear
[Chorus]
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think You can, I think You can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think You can, I think You can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in Your hands, place them in Your hands, place them in Your hands
Much love,
<>< Katie
Rejection letter = upset = tears = runny nose = blow nose = (fear of) bloody nose
It’s been a long time since I’ve taken math but Chris tells me that means I could just say:
rejection letter = bloody nose.
Translation? Rejection letters punch me in the face.
The next step is my decision. Am I going to punch someone else in the face or am I going to move on? Am I going to let the pen dry out, pick a new major, and find a new career goal or am I going to accept this and realize it’ll happen again but some day it’ll change? Am I going to stay here hiding in my bedroom, ignoring text messages or am I going to go out in the living room and laugh at the formerly-constipated, now-possessed plastic mooing love cow? The choice is mine.
I did venture out. I opted against going to my writers' group where I could wallow in pity with other rejects, if there were any. Instead, I went to sign choir and kicked tables. A classroom magically turns into a practice studio on Wednesday nights and that means all of the tables and chairs need to be collapsed and disposed of into the closet. It's incredibly theraputic to kick in the hinges of class tables.
I tried to laugh and brush off the sasses but they hurt more than they do on an average day. Especially the, "Katie, are you even literate?" when I misread the Wii directions. It was a joke on my direction-following ability not my writing.
I remembered it's not Lent anymore, so I took my own cliche advice and wrote about it. I guess the events of Wednesday weren't better than Tuesday. In fact, the tears flowed instead of just threatening to do so, but my mood over all was better. Even just a little. I really appreciate your prayers today, and I could use a double dose tomorrow, please.
What really helped was Andy willingly playing "For the Moments I Feel Faint" by Relient K. If you don't want to take a second to listen to the song, at least read the lyrics and sing them back to me when I forget them.
Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?
[Chorus:]
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.
Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong
I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear
[Chorus]
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think You can, I think You can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think You can, I think You can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in Your hands, place them in Your hands, place them in Your hands
Much love,
<>< Katie
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Potter
Tuesday wasn't exactly a great day. There was nothing major that went wrong and a lot of good things happened but it was kind of one of those days. It wasn't until the fourth person asked me if I was ok that I realized I had let the "one of those days" mentality take over. Of course, then I was mad. At myself. After being out of bed for five minutes this morning I knew it was going to be one of those days. I had the opportunity to make it a good day with some bad events rather than a bad day with some good events. And I failed.
At our Tuesday night worship service my friend Brad spoke. Now Brad's a potter so his "speaking" was really giving us a visual of Jeremiah 18. He made a tall jug out of clay and then smashed it. I knew ahead of time he was going to do that, but it was still cool to see all of his hard work smashed. He reformed the exact same clay and made a bowl instead.
Brad: See, this bowl a whole lot better, more practical than the tall, long thing that I didn't really know what it was.
Andy: That’s what they called me in high school.
Katie: Tall, long thing no one really knows what it is?
Amy: Katie, did you get that, too?
Andy: And they called Amy a bowl thing.
Each one of us is different but each one of us is going to be used. Maybe right now I’m in a tall, long shape where I’m stuck in the old way rather than the new form. That doesn't mean I cannot be used or reformed. In fact, today is Wednesday and I am the same piece of clay I was on Tuesday, but I am willing to let the Potter shape me in a new way. Are you?
"Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?" Romans 9:21
<>< Katie
At our Tuesday night worship service my friend Brad spoke. Now Brad's a potter so his "speaking" was really giving us a visual of Jeremiah 18. He made a tall jug out of clay and then smashed it. I knew ahead of time he was going to do that, but it was still cool to see all of his hard work smashed. He reformed the exact same clay and made a bowl instead.
Brad: See, this bowl a whole lot better, more practical than the tall, long thing that I didn't really know what it was.
Andy: That’s what they called me in high school.
Katie: Tall, long thing no one really knows what it is?
Amy: Katie, did you get that, too?
Andy: And they called Amy a bowl thing.
Each one of us is different but each one of us is going to be used. Maybe right now I’m in a tall, long shape where I’m stuck in the old way rather than the new form. That doesn't mean I cannot be used or reformed. In fact, today is Wednesday and I am the same piece of clay I was on Tuesday, but I am willing to let the Potter shape me in a new way. Are you?
"Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?" Romans 9:21
<>< Katie
Monday, April 12, 2010
Wet Willy
Growing up, when we went to a party my sisters and all of the other kids were always lost in a made up world somewhere else. I, on the other hand, loved to sit at the table and listen to my parents and their friends tell stories and relive the Before Kids Days. My favorites were the college stories, the post-college stories, and the ones from my dad's annual camping trips (the one that had to come to an end when he left my mom home alone with a one-month old very colicky baby who now enjoys telling these stories herself). Of course, most of them involved alcohol... and extreme amounts of it. Going to a dry school I thought/ was kind of sad I'd be missing these stories from my life. Well, I'm not. Mine just involve less (read "no") alcohol.
One thing I've never really understood is why my mom had the audacity to give Mark--a man she's not married to--a wet willy just for sassing her. When I witnessed this first hand, boys still had coodies, and there was no way I would be getting anywhere near them much less close enough to stick my tongue in their ears. Well, I now have friends who are male, and I discovered this weekend that it's only a matter of time before Nikki, Elizabeth, and Andy get hard core wet willies (no finger).
I was giving my goodnight hugs on Saturday night when Elizabeth and Andy were on the Platonic Loveseat being, well, not very platonic. Instead of asking for goodnight hugs, I plunked myself down on the couch between them. Half of me was on top of Andy and the other half on top of Elizabeth. In about, oh, 1.5 seconds flat they flipped me on my back in the fetal position. Amy and Jennifer watched this whole deal and said all they could see of me were my knees. Not good!
"Watch my glasses!"
"Take them off!"
"No! Then I'm consenting to this rough housing. I don't consent! I don't consent!"
"Ooooh! Is she ticklish?!"
I am, but they didn't know that, and I sure as heck wasn't telling them.
Elizabeth and Andy decided the only thing to do to me in this situation was to lick me. Are we not past this game yet!? Elizabeth had the bottom half of my body in her lap, so she chose to lick the back of my right hand, not a big deal, I can wash that once I get free. Andy had my upper half and opted for the top of my head. I wasn't planning on showering before bed, thanks.
"I really want to lick her forehead," Elizabeth confessed. It's kind of a long-term goal, and they had me in the proper position. It was one of those "now or never" situations, and my goal was to make it a "never."
"Wouldn't that be awful?! She could just watch your tongue coming the whole time!"
Yes, that would be awful. I slapped my forearm to my forehead and held it tightly. All of the sudden there was a firm grasp on my wrist as Andy gently but forcefully pulled my hand away from my face. He's a "medical person;" he's done that before. Not fair! Elizabeth moved in for the kill but I beat her to the punch as my knees rapidly collided with my face. Word of advice: don't do that on a regular basis. A few more minutes of struggle and Elizabeth finally settled... her wet finger into my ear. Much further into my ear than a finger should go, I might add. I pushed her away with my feet and shoved Andy off of the couch. No winding up before bed... de-rile, de-rile.
I don't know if our three-on-a-couch experience will stand the test of time and be placed among the great "college stories" in my repertoire, but I do know that at the next opportunity they both will be receiving true business wet willies, tongue meet ear style.
<>< Katie
One thing I've never really understood is why my mom had the audacity to give Mark--a man she's not married to--a wet willy just for sassing her. When I witnessed this first hand, boys still had coodies, and there was no way I would be getting anywhere near them much less close enough to stick my tongue in their ears. Well, I now have friends who are male, and I discovered this weekend that it's only a matter of time before Nikki, Elizabeth, and Andy get hard core wet willies (no finger).
I was giving my goodnight hugs on Saturday night when Elizabeth and Andy were on the Platonic Loveseat being, well, not very platonic. Instead of asking for goodnight hugs, I plunked myself down on the couch between them. Half of me was on top of Andy and the other half on top of Elizabeth. In about, oh, 1.5 seconds flat they flipped me on my back in the fetal position. Amy and Jennifer watched this whole deal and said all they could see of me were my knees. Not good!
"Watch my glasses!"
"Take them off!"
"No! Then I'm consenting to this rough housing. I don't consent! I don't consent!"
"Ooooh! Is she ticklish?!"
I am, but they didn't know that, and I sure as heck wasn't telling them.
Elizabeth and Andy decided the only thing to do to me in this situation was to lick me. Are we not past this game yet!? Elizabeth had the bottom half of my body in her lap, so she chose to lick the back of my right hand, not a big deal, I can wash that once I get free. Andy had my upper half and opted for the top of my head. I wasn't planning on showering before bed, thanks.
"I really want to lick her forehead," Elizabeth confessed. It's kind of a long-term goal, and they had me in the proper position. It was one of those "now or never" situations, and my goal was to make it a "never."
"Wouldn't that be awful?! She could just watch your tongue coming the whole time!"
Yes, that would be awful. I slapped my forearm to my forehead and held it tightly. All of the sudden there was a firm grasp on my wrist as Andy gently but forcefully pulled my hand away from my face. He's a "medical person;" he's done that before. Not fair! Elizabeth moved in for the kill but I beat her to the punch as my knees rapidly collided with my face. Word of advice: don't do that on a regular basis. A few more minutes of struggle and Elizabeth finally settled... her wet finger into my ear. Much further into my ear than a finger should go, I might add. I pushed her away with my feet and shoved Andy off of the couch. No winding up before bed... de-rile, de-rile.
I don't know if our three-on-a-couch experience will stand the test of time and be placed among the great "college stories" in my repertoire, but I do know that at the next opportunity they both will be receiving true business wet willies, tongue meet ear style.
<>< Katie
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Baptist Easter
I was nervous about my first Easter in Baptist Country. Come to find out, it was just me being a pessimist. Big surprise. I was wrong. My Easter was very good! Even if no one responded when I called, "He is risen!"
Sometimes when you live in a dorm room you forget what it's like to live in a house. You forget what it's like to not be able to swipe your card and get a (maybe) hot meal but instead have a fully stocked pantry.
Lunch on Friday was a challenge. I can't really call it "lunch." A more accurate term may be: the massive amounts of bizarre food consumed around mid-day. It was Good Friday, so I couldn't eat meat and I don't eat Ramen (so many college students live on Ramen noodles that it's my goal to graduate without eating them), Elizabeth can't cook anything except mac & cheese and there wasn't any, Jennifer only wanted cereal, and Emily only likes food that begins with the letter "c" and won't eat food that begins with "p." Thus our lunch dilemma. We ate: Ramen (not me), rice and cinnamon, cereal, cantaloupe, applesauce, pudding, and string cheese. Don't tell Mrs. Mary. :-)
When you live in a house you have to remember that the blurry red lights across the bedroom aren't just there to be annoying but to someone they reveal the time in the middle of the night...
Something you may not know about me: I am a bad bed partner. I talk, I kick, I really hate sleeping on the top bunk without a safety bar because, well, I use the whole bed and sometimes more. When I learned Elizabeth and I were going to be sharing a double bed for five nights I was scared... for her sake. Even if I only kicked her once every night that would still leave five painful bruises on her legs. As it turns out, I never kicked her but instead I took an elbow to the face in the middle of the night. Thanks, friend. She said it's because I stole the covers. I told her if she would have asked nicely I would have given them back but nooooo she had to get violent on me. :-)
In a home, everything has a place and the only thing out of place is Bananagrams, the most frequently played game in the house.
When I close my eyes to go to sleep at night, I see Bananagrams letters. I'm kind of experiencing withdrawals being back on campus. It's a word game kind of like Scrabble but better; we played for hours every day. This is marvelous for word-lovers like me. Not so great for the weird math-lovers like my future roommate Jennifer or friend Chris. No one is still quite sure how Andy was able to play Bananagrams with one hand and look up spellings in the dictionary with the other. Either way his "n comes after m" got really annoying... If you can't use a word in a sentence, define it, or spell it then you can't use it!
When you live on campus sometimes you forget driving can actually be faster than walking...
Since I wasn't home for Easter, some traditions had to be broken... like sitting in a dark closet for three hours on Friday afternoon to commemorate Jesus' time on the cross. One tradition I refused to sacrifice was the Good Friday Service of Darkness. It's an incredibly powerful service for Jesus reflecting on the seven things He said from the cross. I forced Chris, Andy, and Elizabeth into funeral clothes and to the Lutheran church down the road (not to be confused with the funeral home). We were teasing about the five cars outside and all of us leaving wearing black; people were going to start calling asking who died. Jesus did. Well, we walked into church and the first person we saw was wearing bright green scrubs. Another person was wearing an Easter bonnet. And there we were all dressed in black... So maybe this Lutheran church is a bit different than mine. My three Baptist friends were good sports about it, though.
When you live in a house you forget that in some places of the world there are commitments before 8am.
Including Elizabeth and her two sisters, Andy, and me there were five of us fighting for one bathroom. We were really expecting this to be a huge problem Easter morning, but it actually wasn't too bad! For the first time in years we made it to the Sonrise service on time! I'd never been to a Sonrise service, so it was a cool experience to stand in the parking lot and put flowers on the cross. It a beautiful tradition and it works in Baptist Country, but it wouldn't work in place where a white Easter is feasible.
When you live in a house you have real dishes and nice china, too.
This Easter was the first holiday without my family. I handled it a lot better than I anticipated... until Mrs. Mary asked me to set the table and handed me a set of plates. The china pattern was the exact same as my mom's. Our also rarely-used good china was being placed around a rarely used dining room table 900 miles away where, according to an earlier text from my sister, a place had been set for me. I think I'm going to be late...
All in all, my Easter was great!
Care for some quotes for good measure?
Emily: What's the lowest note you can sing?
Andy: Um... I think a seven.
Emily: Will you do it?
Andy walks in carrying a heap of blankets
Elizabeth: What's that?
Andy: My gardening utensils.
Jennifer: Will you hold my Nerds? And don't tell me I am what I eat!
Elizabeth: I feel like a limp noodle!
Andy: Emily, can I put this pig in your speed bump?
<>< Katie
Sometimes when you live in a dorm room you forget what it's like to live in a house. You forget what it's like to not be able to swipe your card and get a (maybe) hot meal but instead have a fully stocked pantry.
Lunch on Friday was a challenge. I can't really call it "lunch." A more accurate term may be: the massive amounts of bizarre food consumed around mid-day. It was Good Friday, so I couldn't eat meat and I don't eat Ramen (so many college students live on Ramen noodles that it's my goal to graduate without eating them), Elizabeth can't cook anything except mac & cheese and there wasn't any, Jennifer only wanted cereal, and Emily only likes food that begins with the letter "c" and won't eat food that begins with "p." Thus our lunch dilemma. We ate: Ramen (not me), rice and cinnamon, cereal, cantaloupe, applesauce, pudding, and string cheese. Don't tell Mrs. Mary. :-)
When you live in a house you have to remember that the blurry red lights across the bedroom aren't just there to be annoying but to someone they reveal the time in the middle of the night...
Something you may not know about me: I am a bad bed partner. I talk, I kick, I really hate sleeping on the top bunk without a safety bar because, well, I use the whole bed and sometimes more. When I learned Elizabeth and I were going to be sharing a double bed for five nights I was scared... for her sake. Even if I only kicked her once every night that would still leave five painful bruises on her legs. As it turns out, I never kicked her but instead I took an elbow to the face in the middle of the night. Thanks, friend. She said it's because I stole the covers. I told her if she would have asked nicely I would have given them back but nooooo she had to get violent on me. :-)
In a home, everything has a place and the only thing out of place is Bananagrams, the most frequently played game in the house.
When I close my eyes to go to sleep at night, I see Bananagrams letters. I'm kind of experiencing withdrawals being back on campus. It's a word game kind of like Scrabble but better; we played for hours every day. This is marvelous for word-lovers like me. Not so great for the weird math-lovers like my future roommate Jennifer or friend Chris. No one is still quite sure how Andy was able to play Bananagrams with one hand and look up spellings in the dictionary with the other. Either way his "n comes after m" got really annoying... If you can't use a word in a sentence, define it, or spell it then you can't use it!
When you live on campus sometimes you forget driving can actually be faster than walking...
Since I wasn't home for Easter, some traditions had to be broken... like sitting in a dark closet for three hours on Friday afternoon to commemorate Jesus' time on the cross. One tradition I refused to sacrifice was the Good Friday Service of Darkness. It's an incredibly powerful service for Jesus reflecting on the seven things He said from the cross. I forced Chris, Andy, and Elizabeth into funeral clothes and to the Lutheran church down the road (not to be confused with the funeral home). We were teasing about the five cars outside and all of us leaving wearing black; people were going to start calling asking who died. Jesus did. Well, we walked into church and the first person we saw was wearing bright green scrubs. Another person was wearing an Easter bonnet. And there we were all dressed in black... So maybe this Lutheran church is a bit different than mine. My three Baptist friends were good sports about it, though.
When you live in a house you forget that in some places of the world there are commitments before 8am.
Including Elizabeth and her two sisters, Andy, and me there were five of us fighting for one bathroom. We were really expecting this to be a huge problem Easter morning, but it actually wasn't too bad! For the first time in years we made it to the Sonrise service on time! I'd never been to a Sonrise service, so it was a cool experience to stand in the parking lot and put flowers on the cross. It a beautiful tradition and it works in Baptist Country, but it wouldn't work in place where a white Easter is feasible.
When you live in a house you have real dishes and nice china, too.
This Easter was the first holiday without my family. I handled it a lot better than I anticipated... until Mrs. Mary asked me to set the table and handed me a set of plates. The china pattern was the exact same as my mom's. Our also rarely-used good china was being placed around a rarely used dining room table 900 miles away where, according to an earlier text from my sister, a place had been set for me. I think I'm going to be late...
All in all, my Easter was great!
Care for some quotes for good measure?
Emily: What's the lowest note you can sing?
Andy: Um... I think a seven.
Emily: Will you do it?
Andy walks in carrying a heap of blankets
Elizabeth: What's that?
Andy: My gardening utensils.
Jennifer: Will you hold my Nerds? And don't tell me I am what I eat!
Elizabeth: I feel like a limp noodle!
Andy: Emily, can I put this pig in your speed bump?
<>< Katie
Monday, April 5, 2010
Do you see what I see?
I've been people-watching a lot lately. It's kind of as if it's a game to see who can do the weirdest thing. Here are some highlights:
Andy was standing in the kitchen eating a chunk of ham. Emily grabbed it, inspected it, marked it as fat-filled, and handed it back to him. This was immediately before Andy drank my water just to vex me. Ok, maybe I was antagonizing him, too...
This morning at church a toddler panicked when a man put her father's guitar in his car and drove away. This was planned, but she didn't know this.
Katie: What is that? It looks like pepperoni.
Elizabeth: It looks like pepperoni.
Chris: You look like pepperoni.
Andy [to Liz]: You don't look like pepperoni.
Elizabeth: Did I say that?
Yeah, it was well past bedtime.
On Wednesday, Elizabeth and I drove through the Twilight Zone (aka Sketchy McSketch) and drove behind a man making balloon animals while driving.
My favorite, however, was at the wedding I attended on Saturday. There was this couple rocking the dance floor. They had all the moves, danced to every song, and were completely in step with one another. No, not the bride and groom. This couple was at least 70 years old. We don't know where they came from, they weren't the grandparents of the bride or groom, but they were having a blast! Oh, but they weren't blasted. Some of us teased they came with the dj because they were just that great. Perhaps they're wedding crashers. Perhaps we'll never know. But you know what? Dance on, cute couple, dance on! Show us that even at age 70 life is still worth dancing about. Even though no one knows why you're there, you're having a good time. Well done!
<>< Katie
Andy was standing in the kitchen eating a chunk of ham. Emily grabbed it, inspected it, marked it as fat-filled, and handed it back to him. This was immediately before Andy drank my water just to vex me. Ok, maybe I was antagonizing him, too...
This morning at church a toddler panicked when a man put her father's guitar in his car and drove away. This was planned, but she didn't know this.
Katie: What is that? It looks like pepperoni.
Elizabeth: It looks like pepperoni.
Chris: You look like pepperoni.
Andy [to Liz]: You don't look like pepperoni.
Elizabeth: Did I say that?
Yeah, it was well past bedtime.
On Wednesday, Elizabeth and I drove through the Twilight Zone (aka Sketchy McSketch) and drove behind a man making balloon animals while driving.
My favorite, however, was at the wedding I attended on Saturday. There was this couple rocking the dance floor. They had all the moves, danced to every song, and were completely in step with one another. No, not the bride and groom. This couple was at least 70 years old. We don't know where they came from, they weren't the grandparents of the bride or groom, but they were having a blast! Oh, but they weren't blasted. Some of us teased they came with the dj because they were just that great. Perhaps they're wedding crashers. Perhaps we'll never know. But you know what? Dance on, cute couple, dance on! Show us that even at age 70 life is still worth dancing about. Even though no one knows why you're there, you're having a good time. Well done!
<>< Katie
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Accepted
I don't think I'll ever forget a simple breakfast (my breakfast, his lunch) I once had with a friend Kevin, commonly referred to as "Jesus Shoes." I've blogged about this brunch before, but I'm going to do it again. Kevin and I met at the toaster both anxiously awaiting our bagels.
"Where are you sitting?" I asked. My bagel was done, and I didn't have a seat yet.
"With you," he said. Kevin, a popular senior, could have sat anywhere, and he chose to sit with me, a sophomore. That would have been enough to make my Saturday. But God had greater things in mind for the day. If I remember correctly, our conversation wasn't anything deep or life changing, just two siblings in Christ sharing life over bagels. That is, until I became an obsessing perfectionist.
"It doesn't matter, Katie. It only matters to One and His mind is made up."
I probably rolled my eyes. While I wasn't happy to hear it, Jesus Shoes had a point (and an appropriate nickname).
Acceptance is something I really struggle with. It's why I don't like sharing my fiction. It's why I thrive on feedback (preferably positive, but I'm learning to appreciate negative, too). It's why I make myself the third wheel. I pull away before anyone has the opportunity to push me out. I'm getting better, but it's a problem.
It's also what Neal spoke about last night. After sharing parts of his experience in junior high, not unlike my middle school experiences, he went off on a slight tangent. Neal's notorious for tangents but this was a really good one. One I needed to hear and can be told again every day for the rest of my life.
"I don't know whose acceptance you're searching for but just stop because it's hopeless. You're never going to obtain it and be satisfied. You already have Jesus's so why are you still searching? Is that person's acceptance more important than Jesus's? You can't please them but you have already pleased Him and that's all that matters."
Sound familiar?
"It doesn't matter, Katie. It only matters to One and His mind is already made-up."
Thanks for accepting my honesty.
Oh, and even though we're on a MWF schedule this week, out of reverence for Christ's death, there will be no new post on Friday. It's coming on Saturday instead. If you've never experienced a Good Friday service of darkness, I highly recommend it. My prayer is that you see our Savior's death and resurrection in a new way this year.
With love,
<>< Katie
Amy: Guys, we're in a tornado warning; maybe we should seek cover.
Andy: Elizabeth and I have two blankets over here if you want one.
"Where are you sitting?" I asked. My bagel was done, and I didn't have a seat yet.
"With you," he said. Kevin, a popular senior, could have sat anywhere, and he chose to sit with me, a sophomore. That would have been enough to make my Saturday. But God had greater things in mind for the day. If I remember correctly, our conversation wasn't anything deep or life changing, just two siblings in Christ sharing life over bagels. That is, until I became an obsessing perfectionist.
"It doesn't matter, Katie. It only matters to One and His mind is made up."
I probably rolled my eyes. While I wasn't happy to hear it, Jesus Shoes had a point (and an appropriate nickname).
Acceptance is something I really struggle with. It's why I don't like sharing my fiction. It's why I thrive on feedback (preferably positive, but I'm learning to appreciate negative, too). It's why I make myself the third wheel. I pull away before anyone has the opportunity to push me out. I'm getting better, but it's a problem.
It's also what Neal spoke about last night. After sharing parts of his experience in junior high, not unlike my middle school experiences, he went off on a slight tangent. Neal's notorious for tangents but this was a really good one. One I needed to hear and can be told again every day for the rest of my life.
"I don't know whose acceptance you're searching for but just stop because it's hopeless. You're never going to obtain it and be satisfied. You already have Jesus's so why are you still searching? Is that person's acceptance more important than Jesus's? You can't please them but you have already pleased Him and that's all that matters."
Sound familiar?
"It doesn't matter, Katie. It only matters to One and His mind is already made-up."
Thanks for accepting my honesty.
Oh, and even though we're on a MWF schedule this week, out of reverence for Christ's death, there will be no new post on Friday. It's coming on Saturday instead. If you've never experienced a Good Friday service of darkness, I highly recommend it. My prayer is that you see our Savior's death and resurrection in a new way this year.
With love,
<>< Katie
Amy: Guys, we're in a tornado warning; maybe we should seek cover.
Andy: Elizabeth and I have two blankets over here if you want one.
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