Lukewarm

Yet I am lukewarm.

(This is post is in response to my Thursday declaration to never want to be lukewarm).

In the book Crazy Love author Francis Chan devotes an entire chapter to profiling lukewarm people.

Here are my interpretations of Chan's points:
1. They do what is expected of them, what "good Christians" do.
2. They tithe when it's comfortable.
3. They do what is popular rather than what is right.
4. They aren't sorry for their sin; they are sorry for the repercussions of it.
5. Their hearts are moved by radical stories yet their feet remain stationary.
6. Fear of rejection keeps them from sharing their faith with everyday people.
7. They compare themselves to the secular world.
8. They only let Him be part of their lives rather than their whole life.
9. They love Him but not with their whole heart, soul, and strength.
10. They love themselves more than they love others.
11. They are limited in how they serve others, holding time, money, and energy limits.
12. They focus more on everyday life than eternal life.
13. They're thankful for their life luxuries and do not consider giving everything to the poor.
14. They do only the minimum.
15. They're concerned with safety rather than being willing to risk and sacrifice for the Lord.
16. They are content, secure.
17. They structure their lives so they don't have to live by faith.
18. They don't live drastically differently from non-Christians.

Ouch!

I guess I am lukewarm.

I do what is expected of me out of obligation not out of passion for the Lord. I do the "good Christian" things but not always because I want to. It's hard to throw a dollar, ten dollars, twenty dollars, fifty dollars in the offering plate when there's nothing headed into the wallet. It's hard to financially support my friends' mission trips when I'm unemployed. I am a crowd follower. I apologize, repeat the offense, and apologize again... for getting caught. Stories touch my heart, blogs change my life yet I don't change my actions...

I could go on.

Is there something (or somethings) on that list that punch you in the gut?

But what are you going to do about it?

It starts with me.

Hot, not lukewarm,
<>< Katie

Stable

I've been living out of my suitcase for two weeks as I job search. It's been two weeks of ups and downs. Of awkwardly cold-calling strangers and laughing until I can't breathe. Awful and great. Uncomfortable and easy. Yin and yang.

It makes me miss my favorite roller coasters: mission trips. If you've ever been on an international mission trip before, you probably know what I'm talking about. The ups and downs. The high highs and low lows. Encouraged, discouraged. Peaks and valleys. One minute of tears of joy; the next tears of sadness. You switch back and forth so many times in one day that you forget what it's like to be stable.

What is stable? Stable is somewhere in the middle. Somewhere I don't often find on mission trips. Stable is what we cling to in everyday life. Stable is comfort, contentment, conformity. Stable is lukewarm.

In Revelation 3, John transcribes what the Lord commands him to write to the church in Laodicea:

“To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

'These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.'" Rev. 3:14-16 (italics mine)

It's like God is saying, "When you're on fire for Me, I can use that. When you're cold, I can use that, too. But when you're apathetic, when you're stable, I don't want you."

This passage isn't really talking about emotional roller coasters. But I think it applies here, too. When our hearts break for and with others, we connect as God's children. When we rejoice and celebrate, we exalt God and His goodness. It's when we're in the middle, stable, and comfortable that we're in the most dangerous position of all.

We don't want to change. We overlook the needs of others. We're too caught in our own ways to see matters worthy of praise. While I would love for the tears to stop coming so easily, I don't want to be stable. Not now, not ever.

I don't want to be comfortable and content. I want my heart to break for what breaks God's heart. I want to love the way Jesus loved--the least of these, the broken people, the forgotten. I want to live a life worthy of the calling I have received!

I do not ever want to be lukewarm!

<>< Katie