I had my choice between going to church with Nikki or going to church with Melia.
Really, I was just happy to get to worship with my friends on a Wednesday night.
It was decided I'd go with Nikki so we could spend some extra time together before I had to leave.
The Bible study was good. I learned. I saw the congregation's hunger for the Lord, even though they make my grandparents look young. I enjoyed time with my friend and listening to her pastor teach. It was good.
When we got home, Melia was in awe of what happened at her church. The more she spoke, the more I realized I made the wrong decision. The scripture, the truths, the presentation seemed like God had hand-crafted that sermon for me... and I wasn't there.
I didn't ask why. Rather, I was upset.
God, why wasn't I there? You had the power to put me there. I was torn on which church to attend. It would have been very easy for the conclusion to have been the opposite, and I would have clearly seen Your hand.
I don't know why I wasn't there. Maybe because Nikki and I needed some bonding time. Maybe I needed to be encouraged by the old people eager to hear the Word. Maybe the they needed to be encouraged by us youngin's. Maybe "Uncle Bill" needed a new listener for his "the dog ate my hearing aid" story. Maybe Melia needed to summarize the sermon for me.
Maybe it was selfish for me to have wished the evening had gone differently.
Do you ever do that? Tell God He's the focus of your night but then get upset when He doesn't do what you wanted Him to do?
PS: This post has nothing to do with Koolaid. But it happens to be what I am drinking right now, and I could not come up with a better title.