Koolaid

I had my choice between going to church with Nikki or going to church with Melia.

Really, I was just happy to get to worship with my friends on a Wednesday night.

It was decided I'd go with Nikki so we could spend some extra time together before I had to leave.

The Bible study was good.  I learned.  I saw the congregation's hunger for the Lord, even though they make my grandparents look young.  I enjoyed time with my friend and listening to her pastor teach.  It was good.

When we got home, Melia was in awe of what happened at her church.  The more she spoke, the more I realized I made the wrong decision.  The scripture, the truths, the presentation seemed like God had hand-crafted that sermon for me... and I wasn't there.

I didn't ask why.  Rather, I was upset.

God, why wasn't I there?  You had the power to put me there.  I was torn on which church to attend.  It would have been very easy for the conclusion to have been the opposite, and I would have clearly seen Your hand.

I don't know why I wasn't there.  Maybe because Nikki and I needed some bonding time.  Maybe I needed to be encouraged by the old people eager to hear the Word.  Maybe the they needed to be encouraged by us youngin's.  Maybe "Uncle Bill" needed a new listener for his "the dog ate my hearing aid" story.  Maybe Melia needed to summarize the sermon for me.

Maybe it was selfish for me to have wished the evening had gone differently.

Do you ever do that?  Tell God He's the focus of your night but then get upset when He doesn't do what you wanted Him to do?

Guilty,
<>< Katie

PS: This post has nothing to do with Koolaid.  But it happens to be what I am drinking right now, and I could not come up with a better title.

Healed By His Wounds

Last week I got unjustifiably angry at my close friend "Keely."  It was silly really.  It all boiled down to me being jealous... and hurt.

Something happened in the living room and instead of addressing it like an adult, I pouted in my room and text-vented to Amber.  I got so worked up that I was crying.  Silently.  Even in the same room, my roommate was unaware that I was having one of the most intense text conversations of my life.

For the next several days I held a grudge against Keely.  That's when the suitemates began to notice. 
"You've been extra sensitive lately, Katie."
"Katie and Keely have to sit on opposite sides of the room because they might rip off each others' head."

The two of us agreed to tone down our playful sassing for awhile and make sure we're showing love.  Through carefully planned words (and some not-so-carefully planned ones) I acknowledged why I had been so sensitive.  When it all boiled down to it, my anger had nothing to do with Keely.  Yet she had been the recipient of my frustration, jealousy, and anger.

She accepted my apology, which she said was unnecessary.  She hadn't considered my feelings about the situation.  We both decided to be more careful and move forward.

I got to take communion this week (a rare event in Baptist Country).  In confessing my sin to my Lord, the first situation that popped into my head was the situation with Keely.  I again asked for forgiveness and for those hurt feelings to be removed.  I wanted to be healed of the whole situation.

I almost cried again when Keely served me the bread.
"Body of Christ, given for you."

Forgiveness.  Given to me. 

"But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5 (emphasis mine)

Be healed in His wounds today, friends.
 
<>< Katie