Wacky Wednesday

From Katie: The following is a collection of quotes heard in conversation and found on Twitter over the month of April. Some names have been changed for the sake of privacy. <>< Katie

Jesse [23]: How are you?
Woman [70s]: Well, I have a bad case of diarrhea and I've been on the toilet all morning, Honey. I hear you wrote a book. I'm going to write a book, too. Since it looks like neither of us are going to get married, let's get hitched.

Katie: Next time I'll just cook dinner after work.
Jennifer: Hey! I've been cooking all afternoon.
Amy: That's the problem.
Katie: We appreciate your effort even if it's only effort.

Laura: I'd like a diet virgin water on the rocks. Hold the ice.

David: Katie, you eat in the caf more than I do.
Katie: Not more just as often.
David: Oh, good. As long as we're even.

Pete Webber: I hate hockey games in libraries.

Allyson: I'm so sorry, Stacy, that we're overe here having our own conversation and you're over there slaving over the microwave.

Person One: What's a cello?
Person Two: It's like a really big violin you play on the floor.

[Allyson getting plates out of the cabinet]
Jennifer: No! I already have plates out.
Allyson: Where?
Jennifer: Over there.
Allyson: There are two.
Jennifer: I was going to get more.

Stephen: Anatomically, if you had brake lights, they'd be on your butt.

Katie: Meeting with David.
Autocorrect: Mewing with David.
Rebekah: I mewed with David and Meagan tonight.

Katie: I need to remember not to go to work tomorrow.

Lisa Whittle: Tell that person you believe in them, love them, appreciate them today. You have no idea how much they may need to hear it.

Isaac [Age 4]: If we were all rocks, we'd be mulch.

Jennifer: Allyson, are you done with this?
Allyson: That's my sandwich.
Jennifer: It's all this gross stuff.
Allyson: Those are called vegetables.

Laura: Zeke is Twatching Katie. In public even!

Anna: I wouldn't lie to you.
Josh: You did once.
Anna: Really? When?
Josh: You once said I was a good person.

Katie: High of 61. What is this? January?

Jennifer Rothschild: God is present in your present; He's not dwelling on your past or worrying about the future so you don't either. Be present where you are.

Allyson: These strawberries are Pintrest-worthy.

Katie: When I come back, I want you to have two pages written.
Jen: Are you coming back tomorrow?
[A few days later]
Jen: So, Katie, that story for class you were pushing me to write? It's not 5 pages. It's 26. And I might major in writing.

"Live in a way that if anyone should speak badly of you, no one would believe it." - Unknown

Jennifer: It's 7:30.
Katie: It's 8:00.
Allyson: Get a watch, witch.

Jesse: Have you Tweeted yet? It's been an hour. Please Tweet responsibly.

Katie: I need a horrible haircut. I mean, I need a haircut horribly.

Julie: If you bought a Lord of the Rings ring as an engagement right, you would officially be boxed in forever as a dork.

Billy Bob: I got this thought. I know that's dangerous. You're in charge of marketing--
John Boy: I think so. Somedays. In some places. Maybe not here. I am at my house.

Laura: I'll have the steak. Medium half-well done. No pink.

Friend: You have a degree in English and Spanish? You should be a music critic.

[While discussing wars]
Becca, high school freshman: This is why we need female presidents. They won't fight with each other; they'll all be jealous of each other and no one will talk rather than fighting.

Katie: I need to go shopping in your closet.
Jennifer: You can pay me too.
Katie: I'll pay you in punches.
Jennifer: I don't appreciate that. Maybe I'll just let you borrow my clothes.

Brett: Childbirth is not the most feminine moment in a woman's life.

[Laura said something in Spanish; I translated.]
Katie: Why is the dog in the car?
Laura: Why are you standing in a box?

Max Lucado: Worship is the act of magnifying God.

May Day

May 28.

According to my daily devotional, that's today's date.  Grace for the Moment: A 365-Day Journaling Devotional by Max Lucado was a graduation gift from my suitemate Amy's parents. So the day after graduation I began reading it. I continued once a day until I went on vacation and the book was too bulky for my carry-on bag.

Instead I decided I would read it daily when I was at home (at my parents' house). Thus, it did not go to China with me, it did not accompany me on my month-long networking trip in October, and it did not come on our Axelson Family Unplugged trip over New Years.

Knowing this, it was very sad to watch the bookmark move closer and closer to the center of the book. Every day was another devotion, another page turned and in that another day in limbo, another morning greeting unemployment, another reminder that my life was not what I expected.

Well, today is not May 28. I have packed as many of my personal belongings as I could fit in the backseat and trunk of my car. Dad and I are driving across the country, back to the town where I moved away from when the calendar really read May.

Hope.

It's been a lot of days between real May and fake May. No, I'm not going to count them (English major). It's been a lot of tears cried, a lot of harsh prayers, a lot of mopey blog posts.

But today, May 28 to some, January 13 to others, the world starts fresh.

I hit 1,000 on my list of blessings. I am moving out of my parents' house. I am returning to the land I love. This is a new beginning.

I don't know what that means. It may mean that in three months I return to limbo. It may mean that I work at Starbucks for the rest of my life. It may mean that I convince myself to be a student again. I don't know.

But God does.

And I'm willing to trust that. I'm willing to cling to the promise that He has not let abandoned me nor will He ever. I'm willing to hope, willing to dream, and willing to not know what the future holds.

Hope. It's good. Just like God.

Hope. It's necessary. Just like God.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12

<>< Katie

"And Then I Found Five Dollars"

Since I've been home, I've told a lot of stories around our dinner table. When I finally pause to breathe at the end of each story, Christina has looked at me and said, "And then did you find five dollars?"

Every time she's said it, I've boiled with anger and frustration.  The desire to rip off her head has increased with every smart alec comment that could be translated to, "That pointless story was a waste of my time."

I think that may be why Max Lucado's A Love Worth Giving has resonated so well with me, the queen of pointless stories.

In the chapter "Your Kindness Quotient," Max talks about Christ wanting to hear your story.  The example used is the woman with the bleeding problem whose story is found sandwiched in Mark 5. 

Basically she's been sick for years and years.  She was out of money, and everyone told her to be out of hope.  But she wasn't.  She had the faith to believe Jesus could heal her, so she went to find Him.

Of course, He was busy.  The daughter of a city leader (Jairus) was dying, and Jesus was on His way to perform a miraculous healing.  This woman didn't want to take up Jesus's time, so she slid behind Him in the crowd and touched the hem of His robe. 

Instantly she was healed and ready to go on her way.  Jesus wasn't going to let her get off that easily.

"Who touched me?"  He demanded.

Can you imagine the disciples' response?  "We're in the middle of a crowd and You wonder who touched You?  A million people!  That guy there, this woman over here, but I was the one who stepped on Your foot.  Sorry.  Come on; let's go!"

Christ was adamant, and the woman timidly came forward.  If it was me, I'd be ashamed of the ruckus I'd caused.  Maybe she was, but she was also healed.

Max writes, "A girl was dying, people were pressing, the disciples were questioning, but Jesus... Jesus was listening.  Listening to the whole story.  He didn't have to.  The healing would have been enough.  Enough for her.  Enough for the crowd.  But not enough for Him.  Jesus wanted to do more than heal her body.  He wanted to hear her story--all of it.  The whole story" (26).

It blows my mind that we have a Savior who is willing to hear every story we tell.  He's not even disappointed when they're long and pointless.  He'll never ask if we found five dollars.  If the story is important to us, it is important to Him.

I saw a prime example of this years ago at a concert meet and greet crowd.  A little girl came up and cut me in the blob of a line.  Of course, at the time I was annoyed but years later I'm glad to have witnessed such a beautiful moment.

The artist, Peder Eide, leaned over to be at her height, put his arm around her, and held his head next to hers in order to hear her over the crowd.  I couldn't hear what she was saying, but I knew it was intense because every once in a while Peder would draw back to make eye contact with her.  As her story drew to a close, he started gently asking her questions.  The crowd pressing for his attention no longer mattered; he wanted to know more about this little girl.

When she was done and he was done asking questions, Peder looked her in the eye and said, "Thank you for telling me that.  I'll be praying for you."

Christ's waiting for you to tell Him the whole story.  The crowd of people lobbying for His attention vanishes when He's got His arm around you listening to your story.  He's willing to sit there and talk with you for as long as you want.  He'll stay until your story is complete, even if it's long and boring.  He'll ask questions and carefully listen to the answers.  When you're done, He'll say, "Thank you for telling Me that.  I'm sure it wasn't easy."

Sit and talk.  Let Him be your Audience of One.

The non-monetary amount you find will be worth a whole lot more than five dollars.
<>< Katie

A Year in Review: Books Style

I started 2009 with a goal of reading 13 books, one a month and one more.  Since books for class don't count and I took three literature classes in 2009, that was a feasible goal.  I read 14.  So my goal this year was 17, and I hit 22.  I think that means in 2011 I have to read 25...

1. Five Love Languages: Singles Edition by Gary Chapman

2. The Condition by Jennifer Haigh

3. June Bug by Chris Farby

My thoughts on books 4-9 and some more can be found here

4. In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez
A must-read if you like historical fiction and/or Latina America.

5. The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Historical fiction set in the Jackson, Mississippi, during the Civil Rights Era

6. The Wednesday Letters by Jason Wright
Laura, my dyslexic sister, devoured this book.

7. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Houssini
Christina, my other dyslexic sister, is eager to read this book.  It's a must read if you like historical fiction and Afghanistan.

8. Invisible I by Stella Lennon
Part of The Amanda Project

9. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
My boss asked me to read this book.  I never would have done it on my own, but I enjoyed it!

10. Unspoken Lies by Darrien Lee
I went to Barnes & Noble looking for a short book and bought this one just because it fit that description.  Honestly, the only reason I kept reading this book was because I liked the exposition.  I was not impressed with the dialogue, storyline or ending.  The whole story revolved around the characters having affairs and getting away with it, and the ending seemed like a cop out.  I don't recommend it, sorry.

11. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
I read this book as a writer and it was good.  I would love to go back and read it again, this time just as a person.  My roommates and I have embraced his idea of filling life with memorable moments.  Our first Memorable Moment was putting birthday candles in Amy and Melia's chicken breast instead of in their cake.  I do recommend this book but take your time reading it.  Let everything sink in before you move on to the next chapter.

12. Fearless by Max Lucado
I didn't realize how much control fear has in my life until I read his book on how to get rid of it.  I love all Max Lucado books, but this is definitely one of my favorites.  If you're going to try Max for just one book, pick this one.

13. Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman
I was promised I would love this book.  And I did.  It did take me awhile to get into it, though, because I was coming off a long stretch of historical fiction books.  All of my other thoughts about it are in a Writer's Notebook at school, sorry.

14. A Novel Idea
A writing book I highly recommend if you're interested in writing Christian fiction.  I took notes.

15. "Unveiled," "Unashamed," and "Unshaken" part of A Lineage of Grace by Francine Rivers
They are three fictional short stories looked at the lives of nonfictional Tamar, Rahab, and Ruth.  Francine Rivers brings Bible characters to life in a way I've never experienced before.  I had a hard time getting into these stories at first, but I was disappointed I couldn't finish the book (I borrowed it and had to return it).  Although, if you're going to read Francine Rivers you have to read Redeeming Love.

16, 17. Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Books two and three in The Hunger Games series.  When I read the first book, I criticized Collins for dragging the story out through three books rather than just ending it.  Maybe it's just my dislike for sequels.  I still understand why I argued that, but I'm glad she didn't ask my opinion before writing books two and three.  The books are considered young adult fiction, but I've heard of a lot of adults thoroughly enjoying them.  Elizabeth and Andy kept pestering me to read and finish them so we could all talk about them.  Catching Fire I read in one weekend, but Mockingjay I spread out over months just because it was that time in the semester.  They're not hard reads, and Mrs. Mary says her seventh graders are devouring them.  Maybe a good book for a middle schooler to read with a parent.

18. Cast of Characters by Max Lucado
This is kind of like Lineage of Grace in that it takes Bible characters and focuses in on their lives.  The way Max (can you call the author by his first name when you've read 15 of his books?) brings the characters to life forced me to think about them in ways that had never crossed my mind before.  It's also a devotional so you can see trends between their lives then and ours today.  Are they really that much different?

19. One Foot in Eden by Ron Rash
I love Ron Rash.  I'm a little biased because I've met him twice but that's besides the point.  I prefer Serena, but I enjoyed One Foot in Eden, too.  It doesn't have the "typical Rash body count" (Rash); only a handful of (creative) deaths.  Every section is written from a different character's POV and in their voice.  I liked the overlap, hearing the same story told in two different points of view.  If I wrote it, I would have ended it one section sooner.  Actually, if I get to meet Rash again, I want to ask why he did it the way he did.

20. Grace: For Those Who Think They Don't Measure Up by Bob Lenz
Another author I've heard speak many times.  Bob writes just like he talks which was a bit of a deterrent for me since I am a writer.  The tangents he takes in real life work well.  The same principle doesn't work as well in writing.  I started reading this book years ago and just now finally finished it because I'm not his target audience.  It is a great book for youth struggling with the ideas of grace and faith.  Not so great for a 20-something confident in her faith.

21. Flight
Not a published book yet but when it does become published you can say I told you about it.  One of my friends send me the novel of another friend and asked for my feedback.  I enjoyed it, I learned from it, and I gave constructive criticism.  I look forward to seeing it on a shelf in Barnes & Noble one day.

22. The Bible
For the second year in a row I did a "Read the Bible in a year" thing.  If you've never read the Bible in a year (or ever), I recommend using this one.  It's challenging but doable.  For me, I wasn't very diligent about getting into the Word but this helped a lot.  I did spend a lot of time behind but (unless something changes in the next two days) I'm finishing on time.  I don't know if I'm going to do it again in 2011 just because after two years it's kind of assignment-like rather than a desire to seek Him.  We'll see if I can dig in without the accountability...

What have you all been reading lately?

I'm ringing in 2011 with a moving bookmark in A Love With Giving (Max Lucado) and How the Garcia Girls Lost the Accents (Julia Alvarez).  What else should I add to my list?

<>< Katie

Story

Have I ever told you that I love to tell stories?  I really love to tell stories.  A lot.  Find me a good story, and I'll retell it a million times.  It's safe to say they play an important role in my life.  I find it hard to believe I'm the only one like this.  Let's face it, stories play important roles in our lives. 

My professor Brandon once said, "Stories are the webs that entangle all of us."  Stories are so important, even Jesus used them to teach.  The world communicates through stories.

Pastor Seth asked us a phenomenal question the other day when he said, "We are all storytellers.  Are we living and making stories that are worth telling?"

Donald Miller has an entire book on this entitled A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.  Max Lucado addresses this when he talks about how God not only knows your story but He wrote it.

And here's a secret: even though you are the main character in your story, it is not about you.  Look it up; check the Bible.  All stories, even your own life story, is about Jesus Christ.

Jeffrey Meinz does a great job of telling Jesus' lifestory in six minutes.  The video quality isn't great, especially for the first 25 seconds, but it gets better.  The very end gives you a nice shot of how many people where there.  You should play Where's Waldo, and see if you can find me.

But seriously, friends, is the story you're living worth telling?

<>< Katie

Funerals and Weddings

My dad discovered my blog yesterday.  More like, he came to pester me while I was proof reading and recognized his own scribble handwriting on the screen.  Since then, he has been a bragging father sharing the url (which he still hasn't memorized) with his friends and colleagues.  He also printed yesterday's blog and made Mom read aloud it to my grandparents and sisters.  She almost made it all the way through, too.  However, all of this means I have to behave for the next few days while his friends investigate this site.  Sorry to disappoint but there will be no poop stories this week.  :-)

By the way, today my parents are celebrating their 24th wedding anniversary!

<>< Katie

The other day, I was standing in the church atrium with my favorite funeral director, Mark.  A wedding was about to take place, but we weren't there for the wedding.  We were loitering by the door.

"You know," Mark said, "there really is no difference between weddings and funerals.  I mean, there's a minister for both, and they're both an end.  The only difference is that one you're rolled in and the other you meander in."

I was kind of stunned by the pessimism in this statement, especially coming from someone as upbeat and fun-loving as Mark.  I feel the need to mention that he's happily married.  We kind of joked about it and moved on to joke about something else.

Later, I was thinking about our conversation again, and I realized he's right.  He failed to mention they both also involve crying and Mark greeting at the door.  In all seriousness, they are both an end.  But, at the same time, they are both a beginning.  A wedding is the beginning of a life together.  In the faith that Mark and I share, a funeral is the beginning of a new life, an eternal life.

It was only then that I realized Mark was not the first person to speak about weddings and funerals in the same way.  Jesus Himself did it.

In John 14, Jesus says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me. In My Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

Sounds to me like heaven-talk.  Funeral words.  Yes, but it's more.  It's a cultural thing we miss, but His listeners would have been befuddled.  This was wedding talk.

Max Lucado writes, "We Westerners might miss the wedding images, but you can bet your sweet chuppah that Jesus' listeners didn't.  This was a groom-to-bride promise.  Upon receiving the permission of both families, the groom returned to the home of his father and build a home for his bride.  He 'prepared a place'" (Fearless 118).

Lucado goes on to explain that Jesus puts funerals and weddings on the same platform.  They share the same hope.  When walking down the aisle, the excitement felt by the pallbearers should be the same as that felt by the bride.

I have never planned a wedding.  Neither have I a planned a funeral.  I pray I get the participate in the former before the latter.  However, if that is not the case, will I face them both with the same hope-filled anticipation? 

Just some food for thought.

<>< Katie

Holy Saturday

Holy Saturday.
Quite possibly the darkest day of the year. Jesus is dead.  Imagine the hopelessness the disciples felt today.  Can we relate?

For the disciples, today was even more depressing than a Lutheran being stuck in Baptist Country over Easter.  It was even more desperate than being rejected after seeking a job for two years.  Darker than abandoning high school graduation party preparations to plan the funeral of a five year old.  Can imagine what the disciples felt today?

A large group gathered together in a dark upper room.  The door locked out of fear.  No one had bothered to light the lamp.  No one wanted to speak.  Complete darkness.  It was not only a physical surrounding but also an emotional feeling.  Their best friend, their leader... was dead.  Not even a week earlier He'd been celebrated.  He was welcomed as a king.  Not even forty-eight hours previous they'd enjoyed a meal together.  Now He was gone.  Everything happened so quickly.

The room was filled with a myriad of emotions: hurt, regret, failure, longing, desperation, depression, darkness, confusion, loneliness, loss... the list goes on.  Yet the most prevalent had to be hopelessness.

"Where do we go from here?"  They must have asked.  If not aloud, then in their minds and in their hearts.
"How could this have happened?"
"I really didn't see this coming.  Did He?"
"Now what?"
The incessant number of unanswerable questions plagued them as they sat, paced, and cried.

Silence in a crowd.  Darkness in the middle of the day.  Loneliness among great friends.

Maybe we've been there.  Unlike the disciples, we know the rest of the story.  Unlike the disciples, we have hope.

"Peace be with you."  A voice rudely interrupts their ponderings.  Who would offer peace on such a dreary day?

Every head lifted.  Every eye turned.  They saw Jesus.  Their sins collided with their Savior and their Savior won.  Think about the first time you ever saw Him.  Think about your first encounter with the Christ.  Rope yourself in that moment.  Resurrect the relief.  Recall the purity.  Summon forth the passion.  Can you remember?  Do yourself a favor and place yourself in the upper room with the disciples.  Kneel before Jesus.

Run your fingers over His feet.  Place your hand in His pierced side.  When His nail-scarred hand slides under your chin and lifts gently, don't flee.  When your teary eyes meet His compassionate ones, don't look away.  Look in to those eyes, those same eyes that melted the gates of hell, sent the demons scurrying, and Satan running.  Look at them as they look at you.  Accept the warm embrace from the living Savior and never, ever let go.

Note: the final to paragraphs are modified from Max Lucado's Six Hours On Friday.

BANG

With a good-book in my hand, I was curled up in the coziness of my bed with two blankets, a comforter, and Mom's homemade quilt (don't get me started on our air conditioning situation...). I was confident, safe, amused, and lost deep within a another world when suddenly I was rudely ripped back to reality.

I don't know which I heard first: the banging or the screaming. My mind went wild.

Someone just fired gunshots in my living room, I panicked, imaging the worst case scenario. My suitemates are out there bleeding to death, the thoughts continued as I contemplated the best way down from my loft: climb or leap. What if the gun-man is still out there?

Wait a second, that didn't sound like gun-fire, I noted. This isn't inner-city Chicago; this is the middle of nowhere. Way too creative, Miss Writer. I began to think of more plausible ideas. The guys on first floor felt their snow-ball pelting a few weeks ago was inadequate and we've become their target once again? Bottle rockets? Fire crackers?

"Gosh, I love the smell of sulfur," Nikki moaned; Allyson and Jo still screaming incomprehensible words.

Once I realized we weren't all going to die and my heart stopped pounding, I turned back to my book and instantly could felt my face turn red. The book in my hands? Fearless by Max Lucado. The Chapter? "Worst-Case Scenario." Yup. Maybe I should start reading that chapter again.

<>< Katie

A Letter to You

Class prompt: Spend one hour right now responding to a letter you received from a friend who is struggling with the Christian faith. For the next hour, I cried, I prayed, I scribbled, and I erased. Ultimately, I didn't write this; God did. I am the pen; He is the writer. I tried to edit the grammar mistakes without recrafting sentences I don't like.
Feel free to put your name in when it says, "Friend."
In Christ,
<>< Katie

Dear Friend,
It saddens me to hear about your struggles regarding faith. First of all, I would like you to understand that I am praying for you as you go through this challenging time.

God adores you, Friend. Psalm 139 talks about how He knit you together before you were born. He's chosen you to be His creation, formed to be exactly who He wants you to be. Here's the kicker: He's not done yet. He's still working on you because you're a work in progress. He hasn't given up on you, so I'd encourage you not to give up on Him.

In your letter you talked about how to know God is real. You're right, it's hard when you can't run in to Him at Wal-mart. Not in a physical way, at least. However, just because you can't see and touch Him doesn't mean He isn't there. Personally, I find that to be the cool part: He's always there, even when I can't hear and feel Him. Sometimes He likes to be silent. I like to imagine He's watching and observing and just enjoying being with you. He's not gone. He hasn't moved at all, actually.

You mentioned one of the hardest parts about God is the whole prayer thing. You're right, sometimes it is like you're talking to wall. You talk and pray and pour over your words unsure what to say. Don't give up before you say anything at all. It's just like talking. Nothing special. No fancy words needed. In fact, you can completely eliminate all of the "thees," "thous," and "shalls," if you want. I mean, if you really love those kinds of words go ahead and keep going with them. My suggestion is a simple prayer Bob Lenz taught us back in 2004. Remember? "God, help. Amen." Simple. Yet profound. I also love the Lord's Prayer and it can be found in Matthew 6.

On Friday I was reminded of something cool. Christianity is potentially the only religion that offers forgiveness. Sure, you messed up. So have I. God knows our mess-ups. That's terrifying, right? I know. But it's also cool. Cool because He knows everything we've done but He still loves us. He's still forgiven us, still accepted us, still died for us. That's the beauty of grace and mercy. Mercy is God not giving us what we deserve (death because we've messed up). Grace is God giving us what we don't deserve (life, namely eternal life). My friend Ron explained it to me once like this: say you're outside playing and you get all muddy before running through the house and making a huge mess. Mercy is your mom not getting mad and punishing you. Grace is when she hands you a plate of cookies even though you made a big mess. She still loves you. God loves you through your skrew-ups and your questions.

Questions are good, my friend. Questions help us know people are thinking. Never be afraid to ask questions. The challenge is that sometimes we ask questions and don't get answers we want or worse don't get any answers at all.

Silence stings.

I've been there. Sitting in the silence waiting, wondering. However, I am learning to enjoy the silence. Learning to realize I don't need answers to all of my questions. If I knew everything about God then there would no longer be the need for faith. "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1). We all memorized that verse in confirmation class way back in the day.

Back when we studied baptism, communion, the ten commandments, confirmation, etc. All of the things that you find challenging now. I suppose 8th grade as a long time ago. Have you been asking unanswered questions since then?

I will confess, I have. They're not all unanswered, of course, but a lot of them are still unanswered. Especially the "why" questions I don't anticipate those answers on this side of heaven. In fact, many of them I've written down and set aside as if to say, "I'm not dwelling on this anymore."

I've got to head to class and I want to get this in the mail before the post office closes. Can we get together to chat in person? I've love to hear more of your thoughts, questions, and uncertainties.

Until then, realize God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you. Have you ever had anyone die for you? What about Someone who died for you but didn't stay dead? Someone who knows your anxious thoughts and desires to soothe your fears? Someone who cares a lot about you.

Have you ever watched an engaged father play with his young child? Whether they play baseball or ride bikes or paint the house or just plain be together. The joy you see between the two of them sharing life together. That's the joy God wants in sharing life with you.

He loves you, Friend. With an immeasurable love that is beyond what we can fathom.

In the words of Max Lucado, "God thinks you're great."

And I do, too.

Love,
Katie

Book Buying with a Writer

"What do you want to do today?" Dad asks me every morning (or afternoon) when I get up. Everyday all week the answer has been the same,
"Sleep!"
"You've already done that; it's noon-thirty. What else do you want to do today?"
"Nothing!"
"That's what you did yesterday."

He's bored and therefore is objective is to annoy the rest of us, but he's right. As I look at my yesterday, my day before yesterday, my everyday since Christmas I realize I haven't done much. I read The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition and that's about it. I've read some blogs, written some blogs, played a few million games of Bejeweled Blitz, whooped butt in Bananagrams, scrapbooked a bit, and that's really about it. I'm not ok with that. I decided I have this time, so I should work on the story. Well, since I have this time the characters don't want to play with me. I've also found when I'm blogging regularly I obtain my "writing fix" without even opening a Word doc. That's a problem.

Umpteen years of writer's block has taught me to read when I want to write. Problem: there's nothing here I want to read. Sure, just within arm's reach I can grab four different books with bookmarks less than 100 pages in and almost a million more I've never read. Yet none of them seem appealing at the moment. I need to do something with my days, and I need to read more.

"One of these days I should go to Barnes and Noble," I said aloud to myself. Then I decided: why wait? Go right now. Instead of waiting for a car, I hopped in our minivan and tooled down the road. I don't like driving the van but nothing gets between a girl and her books!

As I was on my way out the door Dad asked where I was going. He's bored, and I was the only one home. When I told him he asked for how long. My response didn't please him. "Until I'm done kinking my neck to read book title sideways."
"You're just going to walk up and down the aisles until you find something you want to read?"
"Exactly."
"Then I'm definitely not going!"
Good because you weren't invited. Going to B&N alone is something I love. It started freshman year of college when I didn't have a car on campus. I always went shopping with people. Yes, Wal-mart by yourself can be lame, but it's also refreshing to wander the aisles alone and at your leisure. I'm not allowed to go to Wal-mart when I'm home, so I always try to make at least one trip to Barnes and Noble by myself.

"I have my phone but don't call me. I'll be home when I'm done," I announce as I depart.
"What if we need the car?" It's a legitimate concern because we have four and a half drivers and three cars.
"If Dad can hog a car sitting in the parking structure at work untouched all day five days a week I can hog one for a few hours."
No, you can't even go to the mall while I'm at the bookstore because when you're done I have to be done. I want the freedom to be on my own time.

Call me rude but if I run in to people I know while at B&N, our conversations are exceptionally brief. I'm on a mission and I cannot be distracted. However, sometimes I have to pause to people watch.
"Can you just point me to my section?" an annoyed father asked his wife. Their grade school daughter stood in between them.
"This is the adult section," the girl says waving her hands. "All of these books are for adults."
I didn't hear how his wife responded, but he apparently was not satisfied.
"You mean I have to walk around and read every sign to find what I'm looking for?"
Yes, sir. That is exactly what I do.

I wander through the bookstore searching for something to read. For an English major, I'm not very well-read, so I investigate the classics. Nope. No Dickens of Shakespeare for Katie, please. I peruse the 1/2 off books. Since I don't know what I want how marvelous would it be to find it to be on sale? No luck. I sneak to the back corner where my B&N keeps the Christian books. I already have all of those Max Lucado books. They're out of Francine Rivers, and I don't love Karen Kinsbury's grammar.

Without fail I always find my hands on a writing book. Today I laughed at myself when I picked up the first one and quickly put it back. Not even five minutes later I picked up a second one. Realized I'd flipped them both open at random and they both fell open to sections dealing with rejection. That's not something I handle well, so I figured it was a message from God and am now the owner of A Novel Idea. :-)

After this it's the purposeless roaming. I think about books I've heard other people are reading. I recognize authors' names and check out their other books. I remember I've had professors encourage me to read more non-fiction, so I try to come home with at least one non-fiction book (usually this goal fails miserably). Really, though, I'm looking for a novel, and my B&N doesn't have a creative nonfiction section. I want something good to get lost in during these cold winter days as I fight cabin fever.

After that, I do exactly what every child is told never to do: I judge books by their covers. If I like the cover (or title or whatever) I pick up the book and read the back. If there's no synopsis on the back of the jacket I usually put it back down. If the synopsis sounds interesting, I fan the book open. Does it look like a book I could read? Laugh if you want but I almost stopped reading The Five Love Languages because the page number was really close to the edge of the page and I was afraid it was going to get cut off. I also scan for words; books littered with swears will not be enjoyed. For me, sex doesn't sell. No dark, no dirty.

My last stop before hitting the check-out counter is the investigate the teenage section. I didn't discover this section until I was a little too big. I always figured the teen section was for... well... teenagers. Not sheltered twelve or thirteen year old me. I read Harry Potter and Princess Diaries throughout most of my teenage years (this could explain why I'm not very well-read). Oh, well.

Few people enjoy going to bookstores with writers. Thanks for going there with me today (but not literally because I really just want to be there alone).

<>< Katie

Huh?

I woke up the morning after Christmas to find my sisters and our family friend Evie watching a movie. I was disappointed they hadn't waited for me to watch it with them, but I figured I'd see it at a later point in time. Actually, it was one I wanted to add to my small collection of movies; I heard it was really good.

Several hours later the movie ended and they walked into the kitchen bewildered. I asked what they thought, and they were all very confused. Eventually they concurred they would not need to watch the movie again, had no idea what it was about, and wanted to watch the deleted scenes for clarification. Problem: there were no deleted scenes to be found.

I think we have a similar problem with life. We look at scenes, time spans, and sometimes even entire lives and are left bewildered. Are there some vital deleted scenes we missed? Always. Just like the movie director has a big picture in mind, God has a big picture in mind. Just like the movie viewer, we don't always get to see the big picture. Even at the end of the movie, or the end of life, we sit back to reflect and realize we're more confused than we were previously. It doesn't make sense.

However, I assure you that God's plan does make sense. We're just missing scenes. He has seen them, He knows the unmentioned details, He understands the purpose. Max Lucado says, "God not only knows your story, He wrote it." God not only knows the movie plot in your life, He wrote it. He didn't forget parts, eliminate vital scenes, or mess up lines... He just hasn't shown us the whole picture (even though we think we've seen it).

<>< Katie

Use Me

I think I over-estimated my number of readers... does anyone actually read these blogs?

Last week Monday, my friend Jessica was concerned about the lack volunteers for VBS. We all concurred that God would provide.

On Wednesday, I went out to lunch with a mutual friend Emily to discuss high school ministry and in the four parking stalls between her car and mine, she somehow convinced me to see if Jessica still needed help for VBS. I knew God would provide for Jessica, but I never expected that I would be the one He provided. In reality, God dropped people from the sky for her, and the fall didn't hurt. God and I had a good laugh all the way home.
"Use me," I said, "but obviously You don't need my permission to do that. Yet I still give it."

Well, a week later I have survived my first VBS ever! There are a plethora of children's songs running on shuffle in my head... where they have been for the last week. Yet the effects of VBS go a whole lot deeper than musical hallucinations.

Last night, I drove past a dead opossum on the road. I chuckled when I contemplated pulling over, putting my hand on it, and saying, "God gives up life!" (And I half expected a loud "Fear not!" to follow).

This afternoon, my VBS kids were running back towards church and I said, "Let's use our walking feet." Imagine my surprise when every single one of them slowed down and began to walk! I was still talking, and one of them turned around and said, "SHHH!!" to me! I forgot, walking feet go with quiet mouths and listening ears! It only took a week for them to learn and less time than that to forget, but it feels good to be shhh-ed by a four year old.

One of my VBS friends loved the firefly he made on Monday. Every day he asked if he could take it home, and everyday the answer was, "You may take it home on Friday." Everyday he told me, "This is my firefly. It reminds me that God is with us! FEAR NOT!" Some lessons do actually stick.

Max Lucado recommends taking a walk with a child every day to see life from their point of view. Well, every day this week I got to see God through the eyes of a four year old, and let me just tell you: He is good!

Learning to Listen,
<>< Katie

God Believes In You

You how when something's bothering you and there's only one thing, person, answer that can make it better? Sometimes you don't even know what the one thing is until it appears. Something like that happened to me today. I was grumpy (no peanut gallery comments), and I nonchalantly excused myself from the kitchen to avoid getting crabbier. Like any normal college student who's been at work all day, I came to the computer and checked my email, facebook, grades, etc.

There it was. Right there inside my inbox.
Subject: God Believes in You
From: Max Lucado

Of course, I read the devotion that went along with it, but really the subject line hit to the heart a whole lot better. I'm keeping it in my inbox. Not because I haven't read it (in fact, I first read same devotion in a book recently) but because sometimes you need that subtle reminder that God believes in you.

In the words of Point of Grace, "When I think I'm all alone and the phone starts to ring: It's just the voice I needed to hear on the other end. You do it again, You do it again. You speak to me just like a friend. You always seem to show up right on time. You do it again, I guess You know when my heart needs to hear Your voice... I could be driving in my car, I turn the radio on. Trying to figure out my thoughts, then I hear the perfect song. I can open up Your Word and not be sure where to turn, but I start to read and it's like You know just what I need."

Hey, God believes in you, too!

In Christ,
<>< Katie

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8