From Katie: The following is a collection of quotes heard in conversation and found on Twitter over the month of April. Some names have been changed for the sake of privacy. <>< Katie
Jesse [23]: How are you?
Woman [70s]: Well, I have a bad case of diarrhea and I've been on the toilet all morning, Honey. I hear you wrote a book. I'm going to write a book, too. Since it looks like neither of us are going to get married, let's get hitched.
Katie: Next time I'll just cook dinner after work.
Jennifer: Hey! I've been cooking all afternoon.
Amy: That's the problem.
Katie: We appreciate your effort even if it's only effort.
Laura: I'd like a diet virgin water on the rocks. Hold the ice.
David: Katie, you eat in the caf more than I do.
Katie: Not more just as often.
David: Oh, good. As long as we're even.
Pete Webber: I hate hockey games in libraries.
Allyson: I'm so sorry, Stacy, that we're overe here having our own conversation and you're over there slaving over the microwave.
Person One: What's a cello?
Person Two: It's like a really big violin you play on the floor.
[Allyson getting plates out of the cabinet]
Jennifer: No! I already have plates out.
Allyson: Where?
Jennifer: Over there.
Allyson: There are two.
Jennifer: I was going to get more.
Stephen: Anatomically, if you had brake lights, they'd be on your butt.
Katie: Meeting with David.
Autocorrect: Mewing with David.
Rebekah: I mewed with David and Meagan tonight.
Katie: I need to remember not to go to work tomorrow.
Lisa Whittle: Tell that person you believe in them, love them, appreciate them today. You have no idea how much they may need to hear it.
Isaac [Age 4]: If we were all rocks, we'd be mulch.
Jennifer: Allyson, are you done with this?
Allyson: That's my sandwich.
Jennifer: It's all this gross stuff.
Allyson: Those are called vegetables.
Laura: Zeke is Twatching Katie. In public even!
Anna: I wouldn't lie to you.
Josh: You did once.
Anna: Really? When?
Josh: You once said I was a good person.
Katie: High of 61. What is this? January?
Jennifer Rothschild: God is present in your present; He's not dwelling on your past or worrying about the future so you don't either. Be present where you are.
Allyson: These strawberries are Pintrest-worthy.
Katie: When I come back, I want you to have two pages written.
Jen: Are you coming back tomorrow?
[A few days later]
Jen: So, Katie, that story for class you were pushing me to write? It's not 5 pages. It's 26. And I might major in writing.
"Live in a way that if anyone should speak badly of you, no one would believe it." - Unknown
Jennifer: It's 7:30.
Katie: It's 8:00.
Allyson: Get a watch, witch.
Jesse: Have you Tweeted yet? It's been an hour. Please Tweet responsibly.
Katie: I need a horrible haircut. I mean, I need a haircut horribly.
Julie: If you bought a Lord of the Rings ring as an engagement right, you would officially be boxed in forever as a dork.
Billy Bob: I got this thought. I know that's dangerous. You're in charge of marketing--
John Boy: I think so. Somedays. In some places. Maybe not here. I am at my house.
Laura: I'll have the steak. Medium half-well done. No pink.
Friend: You have a degree in English and Spanish? You should be a music critic.
[While discussing wars]
Becca, high school freshman: This is why we need female presidents. They won't fight with each other; they'll all be jealous of each other and no one will talk rather than fighting.
Katie: I need to go shopping in your closet.
Jennifer: You can pay me too.
Katie: I'll pay you in punches.
Jennifer: I don't appreciate that. Maybe I'll just let you borrow my clothes.
Brett: Childbirth is not the most feminine moment in a woman's life.
[Laura said something in Spanish; I translated.]
Katie: Why is the dog in the car?
Laura: Why are you standing in a box?
Max Lucado: Worship is the act of magnifying God.
Showing posts with label Rebekah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rebekah. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: The following is a collection of real quotations heard in conversation or taken from books over the last month. Some names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent. <>< Katie
Jennifer: EEEEEKKK! We're going to Nepal!
Katie: No, we're not. We're going to McDonald's.
Grandma: Lord love a duck!
John Boy [to Susie Ann]: That was pretty good for a woman from the North.
Katie: Ouch!
Gavin: You just lost your ghostwriter.
John Boy: No! You aren't from the North.
Katie: I'm practically from Canada.
John Boy: North isn't a place you're from, it's a way you act. You don't act like you're from the North.
Katie: I'm more offended by that because you're telling me I'm untrue to my heritage.
John Boy: No, it's a good thing.
Katie: Just take your soda and go away.
John Boy: Soda! You are from the North.
Gavin: 'Round here we cal it Pepsi.
Mom [to an empty bench]: Why are you smoking?
Katie: You are a good driver.
Nikki: Thanks, that's really affirming to me.
Katie: I know. That's why I keep saying it.
Nikki: Katie saw me when I was in my panicky driver mode. Katie, even though I don't drive the interstate back from Melia's, I know how to do it now. Correctly.
Allyson: Wait. You drove in her panties?
Mara: Down South, they panic and buy bread if the weather gets cold. Up North, we panic, buy buns, and grill out if it gets warm.
[Airport gate kept changing]
Sasha: BINGO!
Mom: There's no "A" in Bingo!
Nikki: Josh Groban, he's like a dramatic singer.
Katie: People need to come up with new encouragement.
Amber: But you're beautiful. No, wait, that's the encouragement for the pregnant not the jobless.
[Go tell a pregnant woman she's beautiful. She probably hasn't been told today].
Katie: I'm trying to talk to Jesus right now.
Stephen: Oh! Sorry!
Katie: It's ok. He forgives you.
Stephen: Oh good.
Katie: I don't.
Stephen: You need to talk to Him a bit more.
Jett: Are you putting that tramp color [eyeliner] on Katie?
Katie: This looks like an EKG.
Amy: Is that a Bible translation?
[Ricky, Garret on the couch]
Rebekah: Man, you guys should eat chocolates together.
Katie: Are you trying to get my pen working?
Grandma: Who are you talking to now?
Katie: No one. I'm making fun of you on the internet. [Twitter]
Jett: Can't we text cute boys instead?
Annie: At some point in life you're going to be acquainted with Vicodin. It's going to be awful, but you'll have to do it.
Rebekah: Don't spill on the carpet or I'll cut your head off.
Jim: You know what? I'm sick of my head anyway.
Grandma: That hurted me.
Katie: [Pointing to my ears] That hurted me too!
"Never let a hurried lifestyle disturb the relationship of abiding in Him." -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Jan. 23
Jett: What smells like bacon?
Mom: My bacon.
Hunter: People from my church call me all the time and leave these long messages so my voicemail fills up after three or four messages. I know they are hurting and they can just say, "Pastor call me back." Instead they go into all these details and the cell phone isn't going to talk back anyway.
Katie: Anyone want anything?
Garret: Water. No ice. No ice!
Katie: Any particular color cup?
Garret: Green if you have it.
Katie: We only have pink.
Garret: Awe man! I don't know if I even want water anymore. Don't give me pink!
Rebekah: When I lift up the couch, look and see if there's anything there.
Katie: There's nothing there.
Rebekah: I have a really good grip. Look again.
Jennifer: I'm so done with homework. I wish I could just grind my teeth! [Beat] Don't quote that because it made no sense.
Jett: Chocolate helps everything.
Christina: Cheese always makes me feel sicker.
Jett: Cheese and chocolate are not the same thing.
Christina: They both have the "Ch" sound!
Mom: That's about it. Cherries. Chimmy chungas. Try those, too.
[Dusk]
Stranger on the Street: Do you have your night-vision goggles on?
Katie: No.
SS: Good girl! [High five. Walking away] No wonder you're in college.
Katie: What should I draw? The verse talks about hospitality.
Amy: Hum... me?
Katie: I'll draw a sun.
Billy Bob: It was funny then. It just makes no sense now.
Katie: Well, I'll just laugh when you walk down the hall.
Billy Bob: [Excited] Would you!? Everyone else does! You'll be part of the crowd.
Jim: You can look up your "god" on the internet all you want, but I'm building a relationship with mine.
Mom: He [Hank the cat] has to keep an eye on you so you don't leave too.
Katie: He's using an eye-tooth rather than an eyeball.
Mom: Whatever works.
Rebekah: I'd rather sleep in Jim's bed than Wes's bed.
Katie: I'd rather sleep in neither.
Rebekah: Well, yes, that would be ideal.
Julie: I don't mind feet in the pool.
Katie: Everything's ok in the pool.
Ricky: Woah! Woah! Woah! That's not a rule of thumb.
Mom: This is what cabin-living is all about: pick up the furniture and move it where you want it.
Katie: Someone just knocked on the door.
Garret: It was Jesus. He's knocking on the door of your heart.
Katie: He's already got the key.
Garret: Maybe there's a deadbolt.
Katie: There are four, and He has those keys too.
Adam: People are like Tootsie Roll Pops, sometimes it takes a few tries to get to their soft center. This doesn't mean go around licking people! It means don't give up.
Jennifer: EEEEEKKK! We're going to Nepal!
Katie: No, we're not. We're going to McDonald's.
Grandma: Lord love a duck!
John Boy [to Susie Ann]: That was pretty good for a woman from the North.
Katie: Ouch!
Gavin: You just lost your ghostwriter.
John Boy: No! You aren't from the North.
Katie: I'm practically from Canada.
John Boy: North isn't a place you're from, it's a way you act. You don't act like you're from the North.
Katie: I'm more offended by that because you're telling me I'm untrue to my heritage.
John Boy: No, it's a good thing.
Katie: Just take your soda and go away.
John Boy: Soda! You are from the North.
Gavin: 'Round here we cal it Pepsi.
Mom [to an empty bench]: Why are you smoking?
Katie: You are a good driver.
Nikki: Thanks, that's really affirming to me.
Katie: I know. That's why I keep saying it.
Nikki: Katie saw me when I was in my panicky driver mode. Katie, even though I don't drive the interstate back from Melia's, I know how to do it now. Correctly.
Allyson: Wait. You drove in her panties?
Mara: Down South, they panic and buy bread if the weather gets cold. Up North, we panic, buy buns, and grill out if it gets warm.
[Airport gate kept changing]
Sasha: BINGO!
Mom: There's no "A" in Bingo!
Nikki: Josh Groban, he's like a dramatic singer.
Katie: People need to come up with new encouragement.
Amber: But you're beautiful. No, wait, that's the encouragement for the pregnant not the jobless.
[Go tell a pregnant woman she's beautiful. She probably hasn't been told today].
Katie: I'm trying to talk to Jesus right now.
Stephen: Oh! Sorry!
Katie: It's ok. He forgives you.
Stephen: Oh good.
Katie: I don't.
Stephen: You need to talk to Him a bit more.
Jett: Are you putting that tramp color [eyeliner] on Katie?
Katie: This looks like an EKG.
Amy: Is that a Bible translation?
[Ricky, Garret on the couch]
Rebekah: Man, you guys should eat chocolates together.
Katie: Are you trying to get my pen working?
Grandma: Who are you talking to now?
Katie: No one. I'm making fun of you on the internet. [Twitter]
Jett: Can't we text cute boys instead?
Annie: At some point in life you're going to be acquainted with Vicodin. It's going to be awful, but you'll have to do it.
Rebekah: Don't spill on the carpet or I'll cut your head off.
Jim: You know what? I'm sick of my head anyway.
Grandma: That hurted me.
Katie: [Pointing to my ears] That hurted me too!
"Never let a hurried lifestyle disturb the relationship of abiding in Him." -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Jan. 23
Jett: What smells like bacon?
Mom: My bacon.
Hunter: People from my church call me all the time and leave these long messages so my voicemail fills up after three or four messages. I know they are hurting and they can just say, "Pastor call me back." Instead they go into all these details and the cell phone isn't going to talk back anyway.
Katie: Anyone want anything?
Garret: Water. No ice. No ice!
Katie: Any particular color cup?
Garret: Green if you have it.
Katie: We only have pink.
Garret: Awe man! I don't know if I even want water anymore. Don't give me pink!
Rebekah: When I lift up the couch, look and see if there's anything there.
Katie: There's nothing there.
Rebekah: I have a really good grip. Look again.
Jennifer: I'm so done with homework. I wish I could just grind my teeth! [Beat] Don't quote that because it made no sense.
Jett: Chocolate helps everything.
Christina: Cheese always makes me feel sicker.
Jett: Cheese and chocolate are not the same thing.
Christina: They both have the "Ch" sound!
Mom: That's about it. Cherries. Chimmy chungas. Try those, too.
[Dusk]
Stranger on the Street: Do you have your night-vision goggles on?
Katie: No.
SS: Good girl! [High five. Walking away] No wonder you're in college.
Katie: What should I draw? The verse talks about hospitality.
Amy: Hum... me?
Katie: I'll draw a sun.
Billy Bob: It was funny then. It just makes no sense now.
Katie: Well, I'll just laugh when you walk down the hall.
Billy Bob: [Excited] Would you!? Everyone else does! You'll be part of the crowd.
Jim: You can look up your "god" on the internet all you want, but I'm building a relationship with mine.
Mom: He [Hank the cat] has to keep an eye on you so you don't leave too.
Katie: He's using an eye-tooth rather than an eyeball.
Mom: Whatever works.
Rebekah: I'd rather sleep in Jim's bed than Wes's bed.
Katie: I'd rather sleep in neither.
Rebekah: Well, yes, that would be ideal.
Julie: I don't mind feet in the pool.
Katie: Everything's ok in the pool.
Ricky: Woah! Woah! Woah! That's not a rule of thumb.
Mom: This is what cabin-living is all about: pick up the furniture and move it where you want it.
Katie: Someone just knocked on the door.
Garret: It was Jesus. He's knocking on the door of your heart.
Katie: He's already got the key.
Garret: Maybe there's a deadbolt.
Katie: There are four, and He has those keys too.
Adam: People are like Tootsie Roll Pops, sometimes it takes a few tries to get to their soft center. This doesn't mean go around licking people! It means don't give up.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Wacky Wednesday
From Katie: The following are a collection of real conversations and quotes that happened in real life, over Facebook/Twitter, or were found in books. <>< Katie
"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
John: I'm going to make another phone call. If he answers, I'm going to take it.
Neal: No matter the question, Jesus is the answer.
Katie: What's for lunch?
Stephen: Communion?
Rebekah: Katie, you're obese on the inside.
David: Anyone want anything while I'm upstairs?
Katie: I want lots of things but not that you can get upstairs.
David: If I find a job up there, I'll let you know.
Katie: Did you just say, "I'm turning my cat into an elephant?"
Rebekah: Why would I want to eat my cat?
"Never let praise go to your head. Never let criticism go to your heart." - Rick Warren
Katie: Thanks for implying I'm nobody.
Sara: No problem, Poop Brain.
Stephen: No! Righteous Holy Spirit Brain!
Katie, Sara: What?
Rebekah: I challenged Stephen that anytime he thinks about poop he has to think about holiness and righteousness.
Jim: I'm going to have to start reading your blog next month.
Jen: Ok, guys, this is what we're going to do: we're going to go buy Jennifer the exact same heater and switch them like parents do when goldfish die.
Katie: Except we have to go back in time ten years to get the exact same heater.
Alex: And we have to find ten years worth of dust to put in it.
Brett: Do you not point with your middle finger?
Garret: I do that too. Especially when I'm driving.
Kevin: God's teaching you to be content in Him.
Katie: I'm trying!
Kevin: Being content in the Lord doesn't mean you want to stay in your situation. It means He put you there for a reason and therefore it's a good place to be.
Jennifer: What time is this test tomorrow?
Allyson: Your mom.
[Lots of laughter]
Allyson: I meant to say "Nine." They kind of sound the same.
Rebekah: I'm going to toast these buns then put some of Will's apple jelly on them.
Katie: Because that doesn't sound awkward at all.
Brett: I care not about a woman's ankles!
Sara: Now we know why we don't hang out with Stephen when he's alone.
Alex: No! It boosts my self-esteem as a male to be able to fix things.
Katie: How's your self-esteem doing tonight?
Alex: Give me just a minute.
Jennifer: Ok, I give you until 8:35.
Alex: What?! I need to at least 9:00.
Jennifer: You said, "Just a minute."
Alex: Ok, give me just a half an hour.
Allyson: We can't do this to myself.
"[T]he wonderful news is that Jesus has not stopped acting and speaking. He is resurrected and at work in our world. He is not idle, nor has He developed laryngitis. He is alive and among us as our Priest to forgive us, our Prophet to teach us, our King to rule us, and our Shepherd to guide us." - Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, 19
Katie: My lemonade tastes like blue cheese.
[Facebook]
Neal: Snow? Tonight? Possible. Tomorrow? Possible. Big storm Sunday? Maybe... just maybe.
Katie: Awe, man, I'm out of milk and bread. Now I'm going to be on of those Southerners stocking up for the blizzard.
Neal: Hey, just because you are from the frozen tundra area of the US, don't be a killjoy.
Meredith: I never understood the milk and bread thing. What are you doing to do with them? Milk sandwiches?
Neal: I know, right? Milk and double stuff Oreos makes more sense.
Katie: Ok, I'll totally go buy milk, bread, and double stuffed Oreos. - Killjoy
David: If you live above the Mason-Dixon line, you're half-Canadian. If you live west of the Mississippi, you're full cowboy.
Katie: Make sure whatever comes out of the toolbox goes back in the toolbox.
Alex: Oh. I was going to put this screwdriver in the cabinet. Is that ok?
Katie: Dishwasher. Please.
"Wait for God's timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
Rebekah: You need to keep taking Vitamin B6.
Katie: I already eat four meals a day. If I take that I'm going to eat the entire house!
Rebekah: It's not going to mess with your metabolism.
Katie: That's what it says!
Rebekah: It's not true; it's just what the medicine bottle says.
Jennifer: If you break it--
Alex: It won't be any more broken than it is now.
Corey: It's not sand; don't taste it!
David: Opinions are like butts: everyone has them and they all stink.
Alyssa: Nut-uh! Some people only have half-a-butt 'cuz they're Siamese. Isn't that a cat? What?
Danielle: Let's play a game. Name places you've been. Dominican Republic.
Courtland: Honduras.
Danielle: Nicaragua.
Courtland: England.
Danielle: Scotland.
Courtland: Ben's house.
Stephen: Yoga is not as fun as yogurt.
Weatherman: There were some snow flakes tonight, and we're not done. In some places there have been accumulations of over an inch. It's icy on bridges and roads and will continue to get worse overnight. It's been following consistently for the last hour. If you don't have to go out, stay home! By tomorrow afternoon we will have a high of 54.
Katie: I really love listening to Southern weathermen.
Jen: I WANT SNOW! I've never seen it!
Katie: How old are you?
Jen: Nineteen.
Jennifer: Around here if they even say the word "snow" they close school.
Jen: Why hasn't our school done that?
Katie: 'Cuz there's NO SNOW!
Jen: Yes, there is, on the TV!
Katie: Ok, let's watch Frosty and then there will be snow on the TV and they'll surely cancel school.
Isaac, 4: When someone has a broken heart it means I think they have to fix it with tape or something.
Keith: Rappers have two choices: grow up or get shot.
Rebekah: I love being domestic. It's my favorite thing to do! No, actually laughing's my favorite thing but being domestic is second.
Katie: Praising Jesus is my favorite thing to do.
Rebekah: Right. Whatever. [Beat] Don't Tweet that!
Katie: Nah, I'll save it for Wacky Wednesday.
Neal: Have you told God how you're feeling? He's a big boy. He can handle it, and He's the only one who can.
[Over the phone]
Tara: What are you doing?
Garret: I'm putting on a hoocher.
Tara: Where are you?
Garret: In Rebekah's bathroom.
[Tara said something I didn't catch]
Garret: No, I didn't say I'm wearing a hoocher; I said I'm putting one on.
[In this case, a "hoocher" was a cabinet latch]
"Once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely and we never lack for understanding or compassion. We can continually pour out our hearts to Him without being perceived as overly emotional and pitiful. The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to [herself] but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus is completely in control." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
John: I'm going to make another phone call. If he answers, I'm going to take it.
Neal: No matter the question, Jesus is the answer.
Katie: What's for lunch?
Stephen: Communion?
Rebekah: Katie, you're obese on the inside.
David: Anyone want anything while I'm upstairs?
Katie: I want lots of things but not that you can get upstairs.
David: If I find a job up there, I'll let you know.
Katie: Did you just say, "I'm turning my cat into an elephant?"
Rebekah: Why would I want to eat my cat?
"Never let praise go to your head. Never let criticism go to your heart." - Rick Warren
Katie: Thanks for implying I'm nobody.
Sara: No problem, Poop Brain.
Stephen: No! Righteous Holy Spirit Brain!
Katie, Sara: What?
Rebekah: I challenged Stephen that anytime he thinks about poop he has to think about holiness and righteousness.
Jim: I'm going to have to start reading your blog next month.
Jen: Ok, guys, this is what we're going to do: we're going to go buy Jennifer the exact same heater and switch them like parents do when goldfish die.
Katie: Except we have to go back in time ten years to get the exact same heater.
Alex: And we have to find ten years worth of dust to put in it.
Brett: Do you not point with your middle finger?
Garret: I do that too. Especially when I'm driving.
Kevin: God's teaching you to be content in Him.
Katie: I'm trying!
Kevin: Being content in the Lord doesn't mean you want to stay in your situation. It means He put you there for a reason and therefore it's a good place to be.
Jennifer: What time is this test tomorrow?
Allyson: Your mom.
[Lots of laughter]
Allyson: I meant to say "Nine." They kind of sound the same.
Rebekah: I'm going to toast these buns then put some of Will's apple jelly on them.
Katie: Because that doesn't sound awkward at all.
Brett: I care not about a woman's ankles!
Sara: Now we know why we don't hang out with Stephen when he's alone.
Alex: No! It boosts my self-esteem as a male to be able to fix things.
Katie: How's your self-esteem doing tonight?
Alex: Give me just a minute.
Jennifer: Ok, I give you until 8:35.
Alex: What?! I need to at least 9:00.
Jennifer: You said, "Just a minute."
Alex: Ok, give me just a half an hour.
Allyson: We can't do this to myself.
"[T]he wonderful news is that Jesus has not stopped acting and speaking. He is resurrected and at work in our world. He is not idle, nor has He developed laryngitis. He is alive and among us as our Priest to forgive us, our Prophet to teach us, our King to rule us, and our Shepherd to guide us." - Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, 19
Katie: My lemonade tastes like blue cheese.
[Facebook]
Neal: Snow? Tonight? Possible. Tomorrow? Possible. Big storm Sunday? Maybe... just maybe.
Katie: Awe, man, I'm out of milk and bread. Now I'm going to be on of those Southerners stocking up for the blizzard.
Neal: Hey, just because you are from the frozen tundra area of the US, don't be a killjoy.
Meredith: I never understood the milk and bread thing. What are you doing to do with them? Milk sandwiches?
Neal: I know, right? Milk and double stuff Oreos makes more sense.
Katie: Ok, I'll totally go buy milk, bread, and double stuffed Oreos. - Killjoy
David: If you live above the Mason-Dixon line, you're half-Canadian. If you live west of the Mississippi, you're full cowboy.
Katie: Make sure whatever comes out of the toolbox goes back in the toolbox.
Alex: Oh. I was going to put this screwdriver in the cabinet. Is that ok?
Katie: Dishwasher. Please.
"Wait for God's timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
Rebekah: You need to keep taking Vitamin B6.
Katie: I already eat four meals a day. If I take that I'm going to eat the entire house!
Rebekah: It's not going to mess with your metabolism.
Katie: That's what it says!
Rebekah: It's not true; it's just what the medicine bottle says.
Jennifer: If you break it--
Alex: It won't be any more broken than it is now.
Corey: It's not sand; don't taste it!
David: Opinions are like butts: everyone has them and they all stink.
Alyssa: Nut-uh! Some people only have half-a-butt 'cuz they're Siamese. Isn't that a cat? What?
Danielle: Let's play a game. Name places you've been. Dominican Republic.
Courtland: Honduras.
Danielle: Nicaragua.
Courtland: England.
Danielle: Scotland.
Courtland: Ben's house.
Stephen: Yoga is not as fun as yogurt.
Weatherman: There were some snow flakes tonight, and we're not done. In some places there have been accumulations of over an inch. It's icy on bridges and roads and will continue to get worse overnight. It's been following consistently for the last hour. If you don't have to go out, stay home! By tomorrow afternoon we will have a high of 54.
Katie: I really love listening to Southern weathermen.
Jen: I WANT SNOW! I've never seen it!
Katie: How old are you?
Jen: Nineteen.
Jennifer: Around here if they even say the word "snow" they close school.
Jen: Why hasn't our school done that?
Katie: 'Cuz there's NO SNOW!
Jen: Yes, there is, on the TV!
Katie: Ok, let's watch Frosty and then there will be snow on the TV and they'll surely cancel school.
Isaac, 4: When someone has a broken heart it means I think they have to fix it with tape or something.
Keith: Rappers have two choices: grow up or get shot.
Rebekah: I love being domestic. It's my favorite thing to do! No, actually laughing's my favorite thing but being domestic is second.
Katie: Praising Jesus is my favorite thing to do.
Rebekah: Right. Whatever. [Beat] Don't Tweet that!
Katie: Nah, I'll save it for Wacky Wednesday.
Neal: Have you told God how you're feeling? He's a big boy. He can handle it, and He's the only one who can.
[Over the phone]
Tara: What are you doing?
Garret: I'm putting on a hoocher.
Tara: Where are you?
Garret: In Rebekah's bathroom.
[Tara said something I didn't catch]
Garret: No, I didn't say I'm wearing a hoocher; I said I'm putting one on.
[In this case, a "hoocher" was a cabinet latch]
"Once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely and we never lack for understanding or compassion. We can continually pour out our hearts to Him without being perceived as overly emotional and pitiful. The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to [herself] but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus is completely in control." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Wacky Wednesday
From Katie: The following is a collection of quotes and crazy conversations brought to my attention during the month of January. <>< Katie
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Taft: Wikipedia is blocked by HPPA.
Brett: I miss having hair. I used to have headaches when I had hair. Actually, I didn't. I never got headaches when I had hair but now I don't have hair and get headaches all of the time.
[Via text message]
Katie: We should catch up one of these days.
Kevin: We should catch up. Who is this?
Michael: This tastes like cocoa butter.
Stephen: Cocoa butter? That's for stretch marks!
Aunt Jett: Don't squeeze the cat. She might explode or something.
"Christianity can grow and flourish under some of the most difficult opposition, but it will prosper very little when people refuse to be changed by it." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 130
Lauren: I'm so not ready for a big girl job. I still get excited about foamy soap.
Mom: The wind must be coming from the west. The train sounds like a dead cow.
Christina: A dead cow, Mom? You realize that dead cows don't make any noises, right?
Mom: How many dead cows have you hung out with? They could make farting noises.
Brit: Decaf? Are you trying to stay awake? [Beat] Wait. I mean go to sleep?
Uncle Jack: [Hands in the air] I didn't do that! [Beat] Did I?
Mom: No, you didn't put the meese peep on the marinated rug.
Rebekah: You're such a good kitty when you're not being a bad kitty.
"If we're waiting for the needy to walk through our church doors, we may wait a long time. God doesn't wait for people to come to Him. He goes to them and desires to intervene right at the point of their need. He's looking for a few brave people, like the Apostle Paul, who are willing to go rather than wait for them to come. He's not looking for show-offs. He's looking for people through whom He can show off His Son. May we be some of those people." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 151
Danielle: You can't say "Indian style." It's offensive.
David: It's criss-cross apple sauce.
Casey: I'm allergic to applesauce. That offends me.
Aunt Jett [About her husband]: One of the best things about him is his ability to drive backwards.
Katie: Hank [the cat] let me pet him for a long time today! Like two pets.
Stephen: Why does everyone rub my head?
Rebekah: It's your spiritual gift.
Brett: Your head is my heroine.
Christina: Mom, does Dad's arm look swollen?
Mom: Yes, of course. He's been karate chopping live trees.
"God wants to be found. He does not will for any to miss Him, and His is so gracious to show up right where we are looking--so He can take us beyond anything we've ever seen." - Beth Moore, To Live isa Christ, 151
Allyson: The overnight forecast is snow. Either that or stars.
Stephen: I read your blog faithfully except for recently. What's Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: If you read my blog, how can you not know about Wacky Wednesday?
David: Wacky Wednesday is arguably the best day of the month!
Evan: Twitter makes me like people I don't know. Facebook does the opposite.
Dad: What's the plural of moose?
Aunt: Elk!
Taft [praying]: Lord, don't smit us.
Rebekah: Then why doesn't he just say that?
Katie: 'Cuz he's a boy. They only think half-thoughts.
Bob: That shirt looks very nice on you.
Emily: You can't say that to her!
Bob: Why not? Gosh, I've been trying to work complements into my conversation and now you just ruined it! Katie, you're dirt ugly. Now you can just be mad at me; you can't have me arrested.
Brett: Hank. Don't eat electicity.
"It's very rare when you're following Jesus that you know exactly what you're doing and where you are going." - Jonathan Martin
Uncle Jack: Assuming this is a right angle...
Laura: Then you have three right angles. You can't have three right angles in a pentagon!
David: What if there was a food that makes you break bones? Like "I can't eat burgers 'cuz they make me break bones."
[Neal was cleaning up water on the floor]
Amber: Ethan got so excited about his cookie that he spilled his water.
Katie: Sorry, Neal, I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time.
Neal: At least it's clear.
Katie: I drank lots of water today.
Neal: Isn't that just inappropriate, Ethan, for a woman to be talking like that?
[Ethan was grinning like he wasn't sure what to do]
Rebekah: You smell like leather-flavored crayon.
Wife: How can you explain all of these awful things happening?
Husband: Easy. This is earth.
Katie: Since Christmas I've gotten a new camera, a new job, a new phone, a new-to-me computer, and a new house. Now I just need a new car.
Mom: Your brain is going to be mush. Next thing you know you're going to try to call with your camera, take pictures with your car, and scrapbook with your phone.
Katie: There's an app for that.
Brandon: I've told this story a lot of times but a lot of you haven't heard it because you haven't heard me tell it.
Dad: Oooowee!
Katie: You ok?
Dad: Yeah. That hurt! Somebody parked the vaccuum cleander in my coat.
Michael: When in doubt, pull out your actual Bible. If your cell phone doesn't know about Jesus, your actual Bible will. You never can tell about cell phones. I don't know if they're believers.
Beth: Sometimes I just breathe.
David: We all want to see your relationship succeed or fail, whichever is better.
Stephen: I hope you have many Lord of the Rings babies, and they don't look like gollum.
Katie: Brett! You heathen non-recycling Canadian!
Artemis: Daddy? When we go to Disney, Mommy said we could go for two whole days!
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: When we are 10 or 11 years old.
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: Where are we going to sleep? I mean, we could bring our sleeping bags and camp out in the back of your car.
Daddy: Or we could stay in a hotel.
Artemis: They have those there?!
Rebekah: Yeah, blinds take awhile to master.
Katie: Yeah, I don't have my master's in blinds yet.
Rebekah: I'm working on mine.
"If you write for God, you will reach many men and bring them joy. If you write for men, you may make some money and may give someone a little joy and you may make some noise in the world, for a little while. If you write for yourself, you can read what you yourself have written and after ten minutes you will be so disguisted that you wish that you were dead." - Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Taft: Wikipedia is blocked by HPPA.
Brett: I miss having hair. I used to have headaches when I had hair. Actually, I didn't. I never got headaches when I had hair but now I don't have hair and get headaches all of the time.
[Via text message]
Katie: We should catch up one of these days.
Kevin: We should catch up. Who is this?
Michael: This tastes like cocoa butter.
Stephen: Cocoa butter? That's for stretch marks!
Aunt Jett: Don't squeeze the cat. She might explode or something.
"Christianity can grow and flourish under some of the most difficult opposition, but it will prosper very little when people refuse to be changed by it." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 130
Lauren: I'm so not ready for a big girl job. I still get excited about foamy soap.
Mom: The wind must be coming from the west. The train sounds like a dead cow.
Christina: A dead cow, Mom? You realize that dead cows don't make any noises, right?
Mom: How many dead cows have you hung out with? They could make farting noises.
Brit: Decaf? Are you trying to stay awake? [Beat] Wait. I mean go to sleep?
Uncle Jack: [Hands in the air] I didn't do that! [Beat] Did I?
Mom: No, you didn't put the meese peep on the marinated rug.
Rebekah: You're such a good kitty when you're not being a bad kitty.
"If we're waiting for the needy to walk through our church doors, we may wait a long time. God doesn't wait for people to come to Him. He goes to them and desires to intervene right at the point of their need. He's looking for a few brave people, like the Apostle Paul, who are willing to go rather than wait for them to come. He's not looking for show-offs. He's looking for people through whom He can show off His Son. May we be some of those people." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 151
Danielle: You can't say "Indian style." It's offensive.
David: It's criss-cross apple sauce.
Casey: I'm allergic to applesauce. That offends me.
Aunt Jett [About her husband]: One of the best things about him is his ability to drive backwards.
Katie: Hank [the cat] let me pet him for a long time today! Like two pets.
Stephen: Why does everyone rub my head?
Rebekah: It's your spiritual gift.
Brett: Your head is my heroine.
Christina: Mom, does Dad's arm look swollen?
Mom: Yes, of course. He's been karate chopping live trees.
"God wants to be found. He does not will for any to miss Him, and His is so gracious to show up right where we are looking--so He can take us beyond anything we've ever seen." - Beth Moore, To Live isa Christ, 151
Allyson: The overnight forecast is snow. Either that or stars.
Stephen: I read your blog faithfully except for recently. What's Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: If you read my blog, how can you not know about Wacky Wednesday?
David: Wacky Wednesday is arguably the best day of the month!
Evan: Twitter makes me like people I don't know. Facebook does the opposite.
Dad: What's the plural of moose?
Aunt: Elk!
Taft [praying]: Lord, don't smit us.
Rebekah: Then why doesn't he just say that?
Katie: 'Cuz he's a boy. They only think half-thoughts.
Bob: That shirt looks very nice on you.
Emily: You can't say that to her!
Bob: Why not? Gosh, I've been trying to work complements into my conversation and now you just ruined it! Katie, you're dirt ugly. Now you can just be mad at me; you can't have me arrested.
Brett: Hank. Don't eat electicity.
"It's very rare when you're following Jesus that you know exactly what you're doing and where you are going." - Jonathan Martin
Uncle Jack: Assuming this is a right angle...
Laura: Then you have three right angles. You can't have three right angles in a pentagon!
David: What if there was a food that makes you break bones? Like "I can't eat burgers 'cuz they make me break bones."
[Neal was cleaning up water on the floor]
Amber: Ethan got so excited about his cookie that he spilled his water.
Katie: Sorry, Neal, I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time.
Neal: At least it's clear.
Katie: I drank lots of water today.
Neal: Isn't that just inappropriate, Ethan, for a woman to be talking like that?
[Ethan was grinning like he wasn't sure what to do]
Rebekah: You smell like leather-flavored crayon.
Wife: How can you explain all of these awful things happening?
Husband: Easy. This is earth.
Katie: Since Christmas I've gotten a new camera, a new job, a new phone, a new-to-me computer, and a new house. Now I just need a new car.
Mom: Your brain is going to be mush. Next thing you know you're going to try to call with your camera, take pictures with your car, and scrapbook with your phone.
Katie: There's an app for that.
Brandon: I've told this story a lot of times but a lot of you haven't heard it because you haven't heard me tell it.
Dad: Oooowee!
Katie: You ok?
Dad: Yeah. That hurt! Somebody parked the vaccuum cleander in my coat.
Michael: When in doubt, pull out your actual Bible. If your cell phone doesn't know about Jesus, your actual Bible will. You never can tell about cell phones. I don't know if they're believers.
Beth: Sometimes I just breathe.
David: We all want to see your relationship succeed or fail, whichever is better.
Stephen: I hope you have many Lord of the Rings babies, and they don't look like gollum.
Katie: Brett! You heathen non-recycling Canadian!
Artemis: Daddy? When we go to Disney, Mommy said we could go for two whole days!
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: When we are 10 or 11 years old.
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: Where are we going to sleep? I mean, we could bring our sleeping bags and camp out in the back of your car.
Daddy: Or we could stay in a hotel.
Artemis: They have those there?!
Rebekah: Yeah, blinds take awhile to master.
Katie: Yeah, I don't have my master's in blinds yet.
Rebekah: I'm working on mine.
"If you write for God, you will reach many men and bring them joy. If you write for men, you may make some money and may give someone a little joy and you may make some noise in the world, for a little while. If you write for yourself, you can read what you yourself have written and after ten minutes you will be so disguisted that you wish that you were dead." - Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: The following is a collection of ridiculous or profound statements and conversations heard throughout the month of December. <>< Katie
[In bed not wanting to get up on a Sunday morning]
Jennifer: Why can't we just have church here?
Katie: Those are called televangelists.
Amy: Or Katie could preach. My Bible's over there.
Katie: Oh, good. I need that.
Amy: Jennifer can be the pulpit.
Katie: Who's going to serve communion?
Amy: We're Baptist. We don't do that every day.
Mrs L: There's the cookie sheet I've been looking for! The flat one.
Mom: Awe, man! My new vacuum is parts as parts! With screws and everything! I just want to plug and play! I don't have time to put together a vacuum cleaner; I have to vacuum! The humanity!
Katie: What is that noise and how do we make it stop?
Mom: It's me washing the windows.
Katie: Oh. It sounds like Tina's farting ringtone.
Katie: This is your job for next week.
Uncle Jack: Put that vacuum together? That I can do. Is there more than one piece?
Katie: No.
Uncle Jack: Well, then we're pretty much done. What's the next project?
Katie: Fix the dishwasher. That's tomorrow's job. It can't wait until next week.
Uncle Boris: For senior photos I got: "Your head looks like a mushroom" or "your head looks like a plantain."
Amy: How do you only lose one boot?
Jo: I just kicked it off and I don't know. How do you need stitches once a week?
Amy: What?
Jo: I'm not kidding. Every Saturday I needed stitches. It was usually stupid stuff too like getting excited when the grandparents came over and tripping up the cement stairs.
Katie: Look! It's a bracelet I can wear as a belt and it's ok!
Dustin: Katie, what's one word that describes you?
Phil: Jobless.
Jennifer: Your volcanic pretzels look like an anteater nose.
Mom: Now you told Laura that she has big feet and Christina that she weighs more than the dog. You need to go to bed. Go to your room!
Uncle Jack: Oh, do you need a complement, too? You look very nice up there dusting.
Alex: No more squeaking in the car.
Caroline: (something about) Britney Spears.
Katie: Does she have hair again?
David: I thought she was dead. I thought she D.O.ed. I mead ODed.
Laura: Girl, I have a knife and an onion in my hand. Don't mess with me!]
Jennifer: Katie, if you were on a desert island with email and a book, you'd be just fine.
Katie: Yeah, I'd just Tweet for someone to come rescue me.
Jennifer: You wouldn't have Twitter. Well, I guess you could just email someone.
Jo: How do you poop in your shoe when you lay on your back?
Amy: He's two months old. Who knows!
Mom: Look at those white caps!
Katie: Those aren't white caps; they're mud puddles.
Jennifer: So we put these there.
Katie: But these already have those.
Jennifer: "These already have those?" Katie, I wish you would write down your own quotes.
Katie: Sometimes I do.
Alex: Wal-mart is like a time-warp. You walk in and boom you've been there for an hour.
Katie: We have a tendency to be late to Peder Eide concerts.
Mom: No, you have a tendency to be late.
Katie: No, last time I was two hours early! But I might have been responsible for making the entire concert late.
Uncle: All of the sudden you get a gray eyebrow, and it's like, "I'm here, and I'm looking around! I can drive the car all by myself, thank you. Where's my beer?!"
Amy: By the time I get to church I'm tired.
Katie: Amy doesn't love Jesus!
Amy: No. [Beat] Wait. [Beat] What did you say?
Laura: Do we have any Dixie cups?
Mom: Yes, they're in the slow cooker.
Christina: Laura, I really like those pants. They make your legs look two inches deep.
Uncle Boris: If you give a moose a muffin.
Mom: If you give a pig a pancake.
Katie: If you give a squirrel a shrimp.
Uncle Boris: If you give a cow a cornflake.
Mom: If you give a mouse a cookie.
Uncle Boris: No, it has to start with the same number.
Grandma: The [Christmas] tree was giving me the finger in reverse.
Katie: I have "Live Like Christmas" stuck in my head.
Laura: Good! 'Cuz IT'S CHRISTMAS!
Tabitha: Sorry. My stomach makes weird noises after I eat.
Rebekah: It's called digestion.
Alex: You just stabbed yourself with my fingernail.
Laura: I have to go pick up twenty things in my room because that's how old I am.
Mom: Or you could pick up for twenty minutes.
Laura: No!
Jamie: My goal this weekend is to make it in Katie's quote book.
Mom: Oh, there's a random plate in the fridge.
Katie: Better than a fork in the den.
Friend: Did I just walk into an alternate dimension?
Christina: Welcome to the Axelsons'!
Jamie: Ok, she never needs to wear her hair like that again. She looks like the girl from Star Wars--Glena.
Mom: If I'm going to get anything done today, I have to take off this sweater.
Katie: What?! If you want to be productive, you have to be naked?
Mom: No, no, no. That's now what I said. This sweater--
Laura: She already told me. That sweater you can't roll up the sleeves and the bottom's stretched out so it's BAAHUM PAAAAAH!
Katie: Is that a direct quote?
Mom: How do you spell that?
Chris: What will Andy say is your quirkiest feature?
Elizabeth: I repeat myself. I say the same thing.
"Rudolph is like the Bible--you can't take it out of context."
Uncle Jack: We didn't pray, you know.
Katie: I talked to Jesus already.
Uncle Jack: I find myself doing that a lot--especially with you guys around.
Jennifer: Save money. Buy pants.
Katie: Matthew, I really don't mind if you sing Christmas songs--even if your voice isn't cooperating. But we need Jesus Christmas songs. No Santa Christmas songs today.
Matthew: Well, if you paint Santa as a Christ-figure--
Katie: No.
Laura: Sometimes Miranda bites me.
Mom: Bite her back!
Laura: Zach did once, and she cried!
Katie: Jennifer, do I need my Bible?
Amy [serious]: No. We're only going to church.
Rhonda: Awe, man, I am tired! Claudia, it's going to have to be a fast bath.
Donovan: I am totally Tweeting that!
Rhonda, Claudia: No! We want jobs some day! Don't Tweet about us giving the cat a bath.
Mom: Katie's driving so that means she's ultimately the boss!
Katie: Does anyone know what the temperature is supposed to be today?
Amy: Check your email.
Jennifer: High of 51. So cold!
Mom: I have not successfully made burnt carrots yet!
Lauren: Do you spell your name as one word or two?
Maryrose: One with no capital "r."
Sarah: I don't think God cares.
Katie: What's for dinner?
Mom: I don't know yet. I don't know who's all going to be here. If it's just Dad and me, we're having steak. If everybody's here, we're having bologna.
Laura: If your socks and my socks had a baby, it would look like this scarf!
"God appoints people who disappoint to point to a God who never disappoints." - Ann Voskamp
[In bed not wanting to get up on a Sunday morning]
Jennifer: Why can't we just have church here?
Katie: Those are called televangelists.
Amy: Or Katie could preach. My Bible's over there.
Katie: Oh, good. I need that.
Amy: Jennifer can be the pulpit.
Katie: Who's going to serve communion?
Amy: We're Baptist. We don't do that every day.
Mrs L: There's the cookie sheet I've been looking for! The flat one.
Mom: Awe, man! My new vacuum is parts as parts! With screws and everything! I just want to plug and play! I don't have time to put together a vacuum cleaner; I have to vacuum! The humanity!
Katie: What is that noise and how do we make it stop?
Mom: It's me washing the windows.
Katie: Oh. It sounds like Tina's farting ringtone.
Katie: This is your job for next week.
Uncle Jack: Put that vacuum together? That I can do. Is there more than one piece?
Katie: No.
Uncle Jack: Well, then we're pretty much done. What's the next project?
Katie: Fix the dishwasher. That's tomorrow's job. It can't wait until next week.
Uncle Boris: For senior photos I got: "Your head looks like a mushroom" or "your head looks like a plantain."
Amy: How do you only lose one boot?
Jo: I just kicked it off and I don't know. How do you need stitches once a week?
Amy: What?
Jo: I'm not kidding. Every Saturday I needed stitches. It was usually stupid stuff too like getting excited when the grandparents came over and tripping up the cement stairs.
Katie: Look! It's a bracelet I can wear as a belt and it's ok!
Dustin: Katie, what's one word that describes you?
Phil: Jobless.
Jennifer: Your volcanic pretzels look like an anteater nose.
Mom: Now you told Laura that she has big feet and Christina that she weighs more than the dog. You need to go to bed. Go to your room!
Uncle Jack: Oh, do you need a complement, too? You look very nice up there dusting.
Alex: No more squeaking in the car.
Caroline: (something about) Britney Spears.
Katie: Does she have hair again?
David: I thought she was dead. I thought she D.O.ed. I mead ODed.
Laura: Girl, I have a knife and an onion in my hand. Don't mess with me!]
Jennifer: Katie, if you were on a desert island with email and a book, you'd be just fine.
Katie: Yeah, I'd just Tweet for someone to come rescue me.
Jennifer: You wouldn't have Twitter. Well, I guess you could just email someone.
Jo: How do you poop in your shoe when you lay on your back?
Amy: He's two months old. Who knows!
Mom: Look at those white caps!
Katie: Those aren't white caps; they're mud puddles.
Jennifer: So we put these there.
Katie: But these already have those.
Jennifer: "These already have those?" Katie, I wish you would write down your own quotes.
Katie: Sometimes I do.
Alex: Wal-mart is like a time-warp. You walk in and boom you've been there for an hour.
Katie: We have a tendency to be late to Peder Eide concerts.
Mom: No, you have a tendency to be late.
Katie: No, last time I was two hours early! But I might have been responsible for making the entire concert late.
Uncle: All of the sudden you get a gray eyebrow, and it's like, "I'm here, and I'm looking around! I can drive the car all by myself, thank you. Where's my beer?!"
Amy: By the time I get to church I'm tired.
Katie: Amy doesn't love Jesus!
Amy: No. [Beat] Wait. [Beat] What did you say?
Laura: Do we have any Dixie cups?
Mom: Yes, they're in the slow cooker.
Christina: Laura, I really like those pants. They make your legs look two inches deep.
Uncle Boris: If you give a moose a muffin.
Mom: If you give a pig a pancake.
Katie: If you give a squirrel a shrimp.
Uncle Boris: If you give a cow a cornflake.
Mom: If you give a mouse a cookie.
Uncle Boris: No, it has to start with the same number.
Grandma: The [Christmas] tree was giving me the finger in reverse.
Katie: I have "Live Like Christmas" stuck in my head.
Laura: Good! 'Cuz IT'S CHRISTMAS!
Tabitha: Sorry. My stomach makes weird noises after I eat.
Rebekah: It's called digestion.
Alex: You just stabbed yourself with my fingernail.
Laura: I have to go pick up twenty things in my room because that's how old I am.
Mom: Or you could pick up for twenty minutes.
Laura: No!
Jamie: My goal this weekend is to make it in Katie's quote book.
Mom: Oh, there's a random plate in the fridge.
Katie: Better than a fork in the den.
Friend: Did I just walk into an alternate dimension?
Christina: Welcome to the Axelsons'!
Jamie: Ok, she never needs to wear her hair like that again. She looks like the girl from Star Wars--Glena.
Mom: If I'm going to get anything done today, I have to take off this sweater.
Katie: What?! If you want to be productive, you have to be naked?
Mom: No, no, no. That's now what I said. This sweater--
Laura: She already told me. That sweater you can't roll up the sleeves and the bottom's stretched out so it's BAAHUM PAAAAAH!
Katie: Is that a direct quote?
Mom: How do you spell that?
Chris: What will Andy say is your quirkiest feature?
Elizabeth: I repeat myself. I say the same thing.
"Rudolph is like the Bible--you can't take it out of context."
Uncle Jack: We didn't pray, you know.
Katie: I talked to Jesus already.
Uncle Jack: I find myself doing that a lot--especially with you guys around.
Jennifer: Save money. Buy pants.
Katie: Matthew, I really don't mind if you sing Christmas songs--even if your voice isn't cooperating. But we need Jesus Christmas songs. No Santa Christmas songs today.
Matthew: Well, if you paint Santa as a Christ-figure--
Katie: No.
Laura: Sometimes Miranda bites me.
Mom: Bite her back!
Laura: Zach did once, and she cried!
Katie: Jennifer, do I need my Bible?
Amy [serious]: No. We're only going to church.
Rhonda: Awe, man, I am tired! Claudia, it's going to have to be a fast bath.
Donovan: I am totally Tweeting that!
Rhonda, Claudia: No! We want jobs some day! Don't Tweet about us giving the cat a bath.
Mom: Katie's driving so that means she's ultimately the boss!
Katie: Does anyone know what the temperature is supposed to be today?
Amy: Check your email.
Jennifer: High of 51. So cold!
Mom: I have not successfully made burnt carrots yet!
Lauren: Do you spell your name as one word or two?
Maryrose: One with no capital "r."
Sarah: I don't think God cares.
Katie: What's for dinner?
Mom: I don't know yet. I don't know who's all going to be here. If it's just Dad and me, we're having steak. If everybody's here, we're having bologna.
Laura: If your socks and my socks had a baby, it would look like this scarf!
"God appoints people who disappoint to point to a God who never disappoints." - Ann Voskamp
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: The following come from real conversations. They are the crazy, funny, or profound things heard in everyday, sober conversation or discovered in a book. If you ever hear a great/weird conversation, please feel free to send it to me. Who knows, it may be featured in a Wacky Wednesday! <>< Katie
Katie: I'm going to write that down for Wacky Wednesday.
Jennifer: No! You have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is Wednesday.
Katie: No, no, no Wacky Wednesday is only the first Wednesday of the month.
Jennifer: Well, tomorrow is the first Wednesday of the month you've been with me!
Allyson: I don't know why "bewares" camed out.
Dad: Do you need any help with anything before I go to bed?
Uncle Bill: You could brush my teeth for me or take out my contacts. I'll just lay there.
Dad: I'm going to hurt you in the morning.
Katie: What's the weather like outside?
Elizabeth: It's like medium.
Mom: Ooooh! Do these stoplights tweet like the ones in Baptist Country? Oh, no, those are real birds.
Katie: You've got candy all over your face.
Amy: Your face is candy!
Alex: You have to assert your manhood.
Jennifer: I don't have any manhood to search.
Dad: Do you growl at them sometimes?
Laura: [Sheepishly] Yeah. [Proudly] I even bark at them sometimes!
Laura: The capital of Honduras is To-gucci-golf-ball.
"I don't think I'm a failure because I have had fears, and I certainly don't think that it is a requirement for Christians to forgo fear in order to be good followers of Christ. I believe fear is the natural response to the question satan whispered, and I find that every day I have to adjust my footing consciously to move toward Jesus." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 4
Sara: You [Katie] only have good ideas today. And on Wacky Wednesday.
Alex: Katie, what would you say are Jennifer's top three qualities?
Jennifer: You can't just limit it to three; I have so many. Humility is one of them.
[SC, 16, counting on her fingers]
Katie: Do you need me to take off my shoes?
SC: Huh?
[explained]
SC: But why did she make it sound like an insult?
Girl, 13: There are no cows here, so--!
Amy: What is that?
Katie: It's a flower on the top of the mountain. It was my attempt at being artsy. Apparently I'm not as good as Allyson.
Amy: No, I like it. I was just... confused.
Boy, 11: You can stay here and you won't even have to fold laundry!
Jennifer: I like your ring. Who made it for you? [She had]
Katie: I don't know. Some stranger.
Jennifer: Stranger than who?
Katie: Allyson.
Allyson: What?
Allyson: Wait! Was this morning Wednesday?
"The world is not going to teach us how to love God; only God can do that." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 43
David: The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.
Rebekah: That's what little girls are made of!
Jennifer: My right foot writes well.
Carson: I don't really understand why girls like making their heads look like horse butts.
Girls: What?!
Carson: Ponytails. Where is a pony's tail? The butt.
Mother: We could cage him [the dog].
Son: We could cage Brother.
Rebekah: Like you licking Nikki?
Katie: NO!!
Rebekah: Sorry, Nikki licking you?
Mark: You [Katie] take the left over brownies. They'll look better on you than they will one me.
Katie: Ok, I'm going to leave it blank.
Alex: Go to the bank.
Jennifer: Why are you going to the bank?! It's 11pm. They're closed.
Katie: I have helicopter parents: they hover but they don't choke.
Allyson: I don't think we were acting too strange.
Katie: We were pretty normal for us but strange for most people.
Allyson [light bulb]: That was it!
Nikki: MW did it, and if he can do it then so can I, maybe even teach at a better university.
Katie: Woah, woah, woah! First, did you just compare yourself to All Star English Major MW? Second, did you just dis our alma mater?
"Faith for my deliverance is not faith in God. Faith means, whether I am visibly delivered or not, I will stick to my belief that God is love. There are some things only learned from a fiery furnace." - Oswald Chambers in Run Today's Race
Allyson: Are you going to get your haircut?
Jennifer: I don't know where.
Allyson: Tah-tay-tow?
Neal: Are you blogging?
Katie: Are you making fun of me?
Neal: I don't make fun of people.
Katie: Neither do I.
Neal: You're not sarcastic either.
Sarah: He's not Slut Bucket; he's Garret the Ferret.
Rebekah: He's not a rodent!
Sarah: He's more of a rodent than a slut.
Garret: Hey, now!
Allyson: Katie's just so cool. She has good body language, too, and her thinking is so... inter... intermaculate. It's real cool. And, Katie, I like her walk.
"We don't just want to get them out of the dumpsite; we want to get the dumpsite out of their hearts." - Tania Meza
Katie: I'm going to write that down for Wacky Wednesday.
Jennifer: No! You have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is Wednesday.
Katie: No, no, no Wacky Wednesday is only the first Wednesday of the month.
Jennifer: Well, tomorrow is the first Wednesday of the month you've been with me!
Allyson: I don't know why "bewares" camed out.
Dad: Do you need any help with anything before I go to bed?
Uncle Bill: You could brush my teeth for me or take out my contacts. I'll just lay there.
Dad: I'm going to hurt you in the morning.
Katie: What's the weather like outside?
Elizabeth: It's like medium.
Mom: Ooooh! Do these stoplights tweet like the ones in Baptist Country? Oh, no, those are real birds.
Katie: You've got candy all over your face.
Amy: Your face is candy!
Alex: You have to assert your manhood.
Jennifer: I don't have any manhood to search.
Dad: Do you growl at them sometimes?
Laura: [Sheepishly] Yeah. [Proudly] I even bark at them sometimes!
Laura: The capital of Honduras is To-gucci-golf-ball.
"I don't think I'm a failure because I have had fears, and I certainly don't think that it is a requirement for Christians to forgo fear in order to be good followers of Christ. I believe fear is the natural response to the question satan whispered, and I find that every day I have to adjust my footing consciously to move toward Jesus." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 4
Sara: You [Katie] only have good ideas today. And on Wacky Wednesday.
Alex: Katie, what would you say are Jennifer's top three qualities?
Jennifer: You can't just limit it to three; I have so many. Humility is one of them.
[SC, 16, counting on her fingers]
Katie: Do you need me to take off my shoes?
SC: Huh?
[explained]
SC: But why did she make it sound like an insult?
Girl, 13: There are no cows here, so--!
Amy: What is that?
Katie: It's a flower on the top of the mountain. It was my attempt at being artsy. Apparently I'm not as good as Allyson.
Amy: No, I like it. I was just... confused.
Boy, 11: You can stay here and you won't even have to fold laundry!
Jennifer: I like your ring. Who made it for you? [She had]
Katie: I don't know. Some stranger.
Jennifer: Stranger than who?
Katie: Allyson.
Allyson: What?
Allyson: Wait! Was this morning Wednesday?
"The world is not going to teach us how to love God; only God can do that." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 43
David: The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.
Rebekah: That's what little girls are made of!
Jennifer: My right foot writes well.
Carson: I don't really understand why girls like making their heads look like horse butts.
Girls: What?!
Carson: Ponytails. Where is a pony's tail? The butt.
Mother: We could cage him [the dog].
Son: We could cage Brother.
Rebekah: Like you licking Nikki?
Katie: NO!!
Rebekah: Sorry, Nikki licking you?
Mark: You [Katie] take the left over brownies. They'll look better on you than they will one me.
Katie: Ok, I'm going to leave it blank.
Alex: Go to the bank.
Jennifer: Why are you going to the bank?! It's 11pm. They're closed.
Katie: I have helicopter parents: they hover but they don't choke.
Allyson: I don't think we were acting too strange.
Katie: We were pretty normal for us but strange for most people.
Allyson [light bulb]: That was it!
Nikki: MW did it, and if he can do it then so can I, maybe even teach at a better university.
Katie: Woah, woah, woah! First, did you just compare yourself to All Star English Major MW? Second, did you just dis our alma mater?
"Faith for my deliverance is not faith in God. Faith means, whether I am visibly delivered or not, I will stick to my belief that God is love. There are some things only learned from a fiery furnace." - Oswald Chambers in Run Today's Race
Allyson: Are you going to get your haircut?
Jennifer: I don't know where.
Allyson: Tah-tay-tow?
Neal: Are you blogging?
Katie: Are you making fun of me?
Neal: I don't make fun of people.
Katie: Neither do I.
Neal: You're not sarcastic either.
Sarah: He's not Slut Bucket; he's Garret the Ferret.
Rebekah: He's not a rodent!
Sarah: He's more of a rodent than a slut.
Garret: Hey, now!
Allyson: Katie's just so cool. She has good body language, too, and her thinking is so... inter... intermaculate. It's real cool. And, Katie, I like her walk.
"We don't just want to get them out of the dumpsite; we want to get the dumpsite out of their hearts." - Tania Meza
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