Wacky Wednesday

Christian: The most difficult times are often the most sacred not because of the difficulty we face but because difficulties allow us to more boldly cling to the most sacred thing of all: the hope in Jesus Christ who died, rose, and lives and reigns forever.

Sara: I got disowned by David last night because I haven't seen Star Wars.
Katie: I haven't seen it either.
Sara: David! Katie Ax hasn't seen Star Wars either!
David: But I'm not dating Katie Ax.
Katie: Thank goodness!

Mom: Katie, I wish we had gone to Ruby Tuesday's so you could meet the bartender.  He's really friendly.

E [age 10]: School's hard.  I have lots of homework.
Katie: It's because you're getting closer to The G-word.
E: I want to graduate.  Why don't you want to graduate?
Katie: Well... uh.... It's scary.
E: Is it because you're getting old?
Katie: Yes!  Like your dad! [Neal]


Mom: Do you want sugar in your coffee?
Grandma: Yes, please.
Mom: White or brown?
Grandma: Brown.
Mom: Brown sugar.
Grandma: Oh, no.  White.  I thought you were talking about coffee.
[What's white coffee?]

Katie [running my hand down a photo]: I want to be here.
Jennifer: You are here!
Katie: I mean, in this photo.

Josh: The mark I made on you is still there.  It's like I bought you.
Emily: It's because I don't bathe.

Katie: I really hope that like four years from now when we're not roommates anymore facebook still exists so we can go view our friendship and see these crazy conversations we had with each other from across the room.
Jennifer: We're not going to be friends anymore?
Katie: I said roommates.
Jennifer: Awe, man!  I was getting excited!

John: Even when you get married and have kids.  Not in that order.  Wait.  Yes.  In that order.

Elizabeth: Katie, do you have any stamps?
Katie: Yes.
Elizabeth: And after I use your stamp can I use your mailing service?
Katie: Yes.
[I hand her a roll of stamps.  She looks at them pensively]
Elizabeth: Do I just put one?
Katie: No, you put them all.
Jennifer: You forgot to lick it!

Saxon: Everyone has some singing fish in their closet.

Maegan: Is it Coach K or Coach K-A-Y?  You know, the coach for UNC.
Friend: OH MY GOSH!  He's the coach for Duke!  I disown you!  Don't talk to me for a few hours!

Katie: Cat. Puking. On. Table.

Sara: Why do we say "as"?  There's no z.  I mean, I know the alternative, but why?
David: I think it's an American thing.  My parents don't enunciate the "s" like most people do.
Katie: So it sounds like your parents are swearing at you every time they say "ass"?
David: Wacky Wednesday!

Jennifer: My Bible's really dusty.  That's never a good sign.  But it's because I've been reading my little one.

Katie: I have five pounds of Nicaraguan coffee.
Grandma: Five pounds of McDonalds coffee?

Ashley: For our skit we could sing "A Whole New World" and act out The Little Mermaid in the background.

Katie: Why are there Wheat Thins in our fridge again?
Amy: Apparently Andy's been hanging out with Allyson.
Andy: I didn't do it!  Oh, yeah, I did.  Oops.

Emily: When I'm a doctor I'm only going to treat strep throat and ear infections.
Josh: Good choice, refer out that nasty flu.

Jennifer: Never mind.  Don't worry about it.  I don't understand myself half of the time.
Katie: Good because neither do the rest of us.

Mom: And we'll make Laura's room the bunk room.
Katie: Sure, put my husband and me next to all of the screaming kids.
Mom: Yeah, why not?  Most of them will be yours anyway.

Dr. T: Good thing you didn't get into grad school otherwise we'd have nothing to talk about over lunch.
Katie: I know, we'd have to stare at each other awkwardly.

Katie: I'm getting sick, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Life goes on.

Amy: Pop quiz: what's a noun?
Jennifer: A person, place, or thing.
Amy: What is a pronoun?
Jennifer: Rock, mineral, or vegetable?
Amy: When do you use a comma?
Jennifer: To separate pauses.
Amy: No, clauses.  Nikki, what's eight times eight.
Nikki: Sixzzzzhhhhzzzhhhhugh grunt.
Katie: Sixty-Four.
[pause]
Nikki: It is sixty-four!  I knew it was sixty-four!

Mom: You speak lots of tongues, shut up.
Katie: I don't remember "shut up" in the Bible.

[Getting in the car]
Jennifer: Elizabeth!  Sit next to me!
Andy: Nikki! Sit next to me!
Katie: No one wants me to sit by them.
Andy: Katie, you can walk.
Elizabeth: Andy!
Andy: --walk over here and hug me while I hold this door open for you.

B [age 5]: Let's get him!
College Girls: With that?
B: Weapons!
CG: What kind of weapons?
B: Fake weapons!

Bob Lenz: Worship is not supposed to be our service.  Service is supposed to be our worship.

The Brownie

Yesterday, Dr. Johnson (of the science department) threw a brownie with green frosting to Chelsea.  Today said Key Lime Brownie made an appearance in our fiction writing class.  Chelsea gave it to Logan.  Logan gave it to me and told me he made it himself.  I asked how he wrapped it in plastic and left it on Dr. Vance's desk.  Saxon decided he wanted to eat said brownie.

Chomp.

Chew.

Chew.

Chew.

"That was disgusting!  It was like coconut.  Yeah, very bad choice."

Dr. Vance refused to eat the remainder of the brownie.  At the end of class, the brownie missing one bite was still sitting on the desk.

"Somebody's going to have to take care of that," Dr. Vance said.

"That was a very bad decision," Saxon repeated.

The class concluded the brownie made out of ginkgo tree berries and injected with poison.  Dr. Johnson knew Saxon would eat the poisonous brownie, thus making him incapable of playing kickball.  He knew Dr. Vance would not refuse a brownie and the poison would make the English department short two vital kickball players.  In the rule book we write, we will have to make sure distributing poisonous brownies is illegal.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when you give a key lime, coconut brownie to a Fiction Writing class...

When the story got back to Dr. Johnson, he was amused.  He said the brownie came from the bottom of a chemistry test tube.  Saxon said it tasted like that could have been true.

<>< Katie