From Katie: The following are a collection of real conversations and quotes that happened in real life, over Facebook/Twitter, or were found in books. <>< Katie
"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
John: I'm going to make another phone call. If he answers, I'm going to take it.
Neal: No matter the question, Jesus is the answer.
Katie: What's for lunch?
Stephen: Communion?
Rebekah: Katie, you're obese on the inside.
David: Anyone want anything while I'm upstairs?
Katie: I want lots of things but not that you can get upstairs.
David: If I find a job up there, I'll let you know.
Katie: Did you just say, "I'm turning my cat into an elephant?"
Rebekah: Why would I want to eat my cat?
"Never let praise go to your head. Never let criticism go to your heart." - Rick Warren
Katie: Thanks for implying I'm nobody.
Sara: No problem, Poop Brain.
Stephen: No! Righteous Holy Spirit Brain!
Katie, Sara: What?
Rebekah: I challenged Stephen that anytime he thinks about poop he has to think about holiness and righteousness.
Jim: I'm going to have to start reading your blog next month.
Jen: Ok, guys, this is what we're going to do: we're going to go buy Jennifer the exact same heater and switch them like parents do when goldfish die.
Katie: Except we have to go back in time ten years to get the exact same heater.
Alex: And we have to find ten years worth of dust to put in it.
Brett: Do you not point with your middle finger?
Garret: I do that too. Especially when I'm driving.
Kevin: God's teaching you to be content in Him.
Katie: I'm trying!
Kevin: Being content in the Lord doesn't mean you want to stay in your situation. It means He put you there for a reason and therefore it's a good place to be.
Jennifer: What time is this test tomorrow?
Allyson: Your mom.
[Lots of laughter]
Allyson: I meant to say "Nine." They kind of sound the same.
Rebekah: I'm going to toast these buns then put some of Will's apple jelly on them.
Katie: Because that doesn't sound awkward at all.
Brett: I care not about a woman's ankles!
Sara: Now we know why we don't hang out with Stephen when he's alone.
Alex: No! It boosts my self-esteem as a male to be able to fix things.
Katie: How's your self-esteem doing tonight?
Alex: Give me just a minute.
Jennifer: Ok, I give you until 8:35.
Alex: What?! I need to at least 9:00.
Jennifer: You said, "Just a minute."
Alex: Ok, give me just a half an hour.
Allyson: We can't do this to myself.
"[T]he wonderful news is that Jesus has not stopped acting and speaking. He is resurrected and at work in our world. He is not idle, nor has He developed laryngitis. He is alive and among us as our Priest to forgive us, our Prophet to teach us, our King to rule us, and our Shepherd to guide us." - Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, 19
Katie: My lemonade tastes like blue cheese.
[Facebook]
Neal: Snow? Tonight? Possible. Tomorrow? Possible. Big storm Sunday? Maybe... just maybe.
Katie: Awe, man, I'm out of milk and bread. Now I'm going to be on of those Southerners stocking up for the blizzard.
Neal: Hey, just because you are from the frozen tundra area of the US, don't be a killjoy.
Meredith: I never understood the milk and bread thing. What are you doing to do with them? Milk sandwiches?
Neal: I know, right? Milk and double stuff Oreos makes more sense.
Katie: Ok, I'll totally go buy milk, bread, and double stuffed Oreos. - Killjoy
David: If you live above the Mason-Dixon line, you're half-Canadian. If you live west of the Mississippi, you're full cowboy.
Katie: Make sure whatever comes out of the toolbox goes back in the toolbox.
Alex: Oh. I was going to put this screwdriver in the cabinet. Is that ok?
Katie: Dishwasher. Please.
"Wait for God's timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
Rebekah: You need to keep taking Vitamin B6.
Katie: I already eat four meals a day. If I take that I'm going to eat the entire house!
Rebekah: It's not going to mess with your metabolism.
Katie: That's what it says!
Rebekah: It's not true; it's just what the medicine bottle says.
Jennifer: If you break it--
Alex: It won't be any more broken than it is now.
Corey: It's not sand; don't taste it!
David: Opinions are like butts: everyone has them and they all stink.
Alyssa: Nut-uh! Some people only have half-a-butt 'cuz they're Siamese. Isn't that a cat? What?
Danielle: Let's play a game. Name places you've been. Dominican Republic.
Courtland: Honduras.
Danielle: Nicaragua.
Courtland: England.
Danielle: Scotland.
Courtland: Ben's house.
Stephen: Yoga is not as fun as yogurt.
Weatherman: There were some snow flakes tonight, and we're not done. In some places there have been accumulations of over an inch. It's icy on bridges and roads and will continue to get worse overnight. It's been following consistently for the last hour. If you don't have to go out, stay home! By tomorrow afternoon we will have a high of 54.
Katie: I really love listening to Southern weathermen.
Jen: I WANT SNOW! I've never seen it!
Katie: How old are you?
Jen: Nineteen.
Jennifer: Around here if they even say the word "snow" they close school.
Jen: Why hasn't our school done that?
Katie: 'Cuz there's NO SNOW!
Jen: Yes, there is, on the TV!
Katie: Ok, let's watch Frosty and then there will be snow on the TV and they'll surely cancel school.
Isaac, 4: When someone has a broken heart it means I think they have to fix it with tape or something.
Keith: Rappers have two choices: grow up or get shot.
Rebekah: I love being domestic. It's my favorite thing to do! No, actually laughing's my favorite thing but being domestic is second.
Katie: Praising Jesus is my favorite thing to do.
Rebekah: Right. Whatever. [Beat] Don't Tweet that!
Katie: Nah, I'll save it for Wacky Wednesday.
Neal: Have you told God how you're feeling? He's a big boy. He can handle it, and He's the only one who can.
[Over the phone]
Tara: What are you doing?
Garret: I'm putting on a hoocher.
Tara: Where are you?
Garret: In Rebekah's bathroom.
[Tara said something I didn't catch]
Garret: No, I didn't say I'm wearing a hoocher; I said I'm putting one on.
[In this case, a "hoocher" was a cabinet latch]
"Once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely and we never lack for understanding or compassion. We can continually pour out our hearts to Him without being perceived as overly emotional and pitiful. The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to [herself] but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus is completely in control." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
Showing posts with label Sara. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sara. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: The following come from real conversations. They are the crazy, funny, or profound things heard in everyday, sober conversation or discovered in a book. If you ever hear a great/weird conversation, please feel free to send it to me. Who knows, it may be featured in a Wacky Wednesday! <>< Katie
Katie: I'm going to write that down for Wacky Wednesday.
Jennifer: No! You have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is Wednesday.
Katie: No, no, no Wacky Wednesday is only the first Wednesday of the month.
Jennifer: Well, tomorrow is the first Wednesday of the month you've been with me!
Allyson: I don't know why "bewares" camed out.
Dad: Do you need any help with anything before I go to bed?
Uncle Bill: You could brush my teeth for me or take out my contacts. I'll just lay there.
Dad: I'm going to hurt you in the morning.
Katie: What's the weather like outside?
Elizabeth: It's like medium.
Mom: Ooooh! Do these stoplights tweet like the ones in Baptist Country? Oh, no, those are real birds.
Katie: You've got candy all over your face.
Amy: Your face is candy!
Alex: You have to assert your manhood.
Jennifer: I don't have any manhood to search.
Dad: Do you growl at them sometimes?
Laura: [Sheepishly] Yeah. [Proudly] I even bark at them sometimes!
Laura: The capital of Honduras is To-gucci-golf-ball.
"I don't think I'm a failure because I have had fears, and I certainly don't think that it is a requirement for Christians to forgo fear in order to be good followers of Christ. I believe fear is the natural response to the question satan whispered, and I find that every day I have to adjust my footing consciously to move toward Jesus." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 4
Sara: You [Katie] only have good ideas today. And on Wacky Wednesday.
Alex: Katie, what would you say are Jennifer's top three qualities?
Jennifer: You can't just limit it to three; I have so many. Humility is one of them.
[SC, 16, counting on her fingers]
Katie: Do you need me to take off my shoes?
SC: Huh?
[explained]
SC: But why did she make it sound like an insult?
Girl, 13: There are no cows here, so--!
Amy: What is that?
Katie: It's a flower on the top of the mountain. It was my attempt at being artsy. Apparently I'm not as good as Allyson.
Amy: No, I like it. I was just... confused.
Boy, 11: You can stay here and you won't even have to fold laundry!
Jennifer: I like your ring. Who made it for you? [She had]
Katie: I don't know. Some stranger.
Jennifer: Stranger than who?
Katie: Allyson.
Allyson: What?
Allyson: Wait! Was this morning Wednesday?
"The world is not going to teach us how to love God; only God can do that." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 43
David: The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.
Rebekah: That's what little girls are made of!
Jennifer: My right foot writes well.
Carson: I don't really understand why girls like making their heads look like horse butts.
Girls: What?!
Carson: Ponytails. Where is a pony's tail? The butt.
Mother: We could cage him [the dog].
Son: We could cage Brother.
Rebekah: Like you licking Nikki?
Katie: NO!!
Rebekah: Sorry, Nikki licking you?
Mark: You [Katie] take the left over brownies. They'll look better on you than they will one me.
Katie: Ok, I'm going to leave it blank.
Alex: Go to the bank.
Jennifer: Why are you going to the bank?! It's 11pm. They're closed.
Katie: I have helicopter parents: they hover but they don't choke.
Allyson: I don't think we were acting too strange.
Katie: We were pretty normal for us but strange for most people.
Allyson [light bulb]: That was it!
Nikki: MW did it, and if he can do it then so can I, maybe even teach at a better university.
Katie: Woah, woah, woah! First, did you just compare yourself to All Star English Major MW? Second, did you just dis our alma mater?
"Faith for my deliverance is not faith in God. Faith means, whether I am visibly delivered or not, I will stick to my belief that God is love. There are some things only learned from a fiery furnace." - Oswald Chambers in Run Today's Race
Allyson: Are you going to get your haircut?
Jennifer: I don't know where.
Allyson: Tah-tay-tow?
Neal: Are you blogging?
Katie: Are you making fun of me?
Neal: I don't make fun of people.
Katie: Neither do I.
Neal: You're not sarcastic either.
Sarah: He's not Slut Bucket; he's Garret the Ferret.
Rebekah: He's not a rodent!
Sarah: He's more of a rodent than a slut.
Garret: Hey, now!
Allyson: Katie's just so cool. She has good body language, too, and her thinking is so... inter... intermaculate. It's real cool. And, Katie, I like her walk.
"We don't just want to get them out of the dumpsite; we want to get the dumpsite out of their hearts." - Tania Meza
Katie: I'm going to write that down for Wacky Wednesday.
Jennifer: No! You have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is Wednesday.
Katie: No, no, no Wacky Wednesday is only the first Wednesday of the month.
Jennifer: Well, tomorrow is the first Wednesday of the month you've been with me!
Allyson: I don't know why "bewares" camed out.
Dad: Do you need any help with anything before I go to bed?
Uncle Bill: You could brush my teeth for me or take out my contacts. I'll just lay there.
Dad: I'm going to hurt you in the morning.
Katie: What's the weather like outside?
Elizabeth: It's like medium.
Mom: Ooooh! Do these stoplights tweet like the ones in Baptist Country? Oh, no, those are real birds.
Katie: You've got candy all over your face.
Amy: Your face is candy!
Alex: You have to assert your manhood.
Jennifer: I don't have any manhood to search.
Dad: Do you growl at them sometimes?
Laura: [Sheepishly] Yeah. [Proudly] I even bark at them sometimes!
Laura: The capital of Honduras is To-gucci-golf-ball.
"I don't think I'm a failure because I have had fears, and I certainly don't think that it is a requirement for Christians to forgo fear in order to be good followers of Christ. I believe fear is the natural response to the question satan whispered, and I find that every day I have to adjust my footing consciously to move toward Jesus." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 4
Sara: You [Katie] only have good ideas today. And on Wacky Wednesday.
Alex: Katie, what would you say are Jennifer's top three qualities?
Jennifer: You can't just limit it to three; I have so many. Humility is one of them.
[SC, 16, counting on her fingers]
Katie: Do you need me to take off my shoes?
SC: Huh?
[explained]
SC: But why did she make it sound like an insult?
Girl, 13: There are no cows here, so--!
Amy: What is that?
Katie: It's a flower on the top of the mountain. It was my attempt at being artsy. Apparently I'm not as good as Allyson.
Amy: No, I like it. I was just... confused.
Boy, 11: You can stay here and you won't even have to fold laundry!
Jennifer: I like your ring. Who made it for you? [She had]
Katie: I don't know. Some stranger.
Jennifer: Stranger than who?
Katie: Allyson.
Allyson: What?
Allyson: Wait! Was this morning Wednesday?
"The world is not going to teach us how to love God; only God can do that." - Angie Smith, What Women Fear, 43
David: The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.
Rebekah: That's what little girls are made of!
Jennifer: My right foot writes well.
Carson: I don't really understand why girls like making their heads look like horse butts.
Girls: What?!
Carson: Ponytails. Where is a pony's tail? The butt.
Mother: We could cage him [the dog].
Son: We could cage Brother.
Rebekah: Like you licking Nikki?
Katie: NO!!
Rebekah: Sorry, Nikki licking you?
Mark: You [Katie] take the left over brownies. They'll look better on you than they will one me.
Katie: Ok, I'm going to leave it blank.
Alex: Go to the bank.
Jennifer: Why are you going to the bank?! It's 11pm. They're closed.
Katie: I have helicopter parents: they hover but they don't choke.
Allyson: I don't think we were acting too strange.
Katie: We were pretty normal for us but strange for most people.
Allyson [light bulb]: That was it!
Nikki: MW did it, and if he can do it then so can I, maybe even teach at a better university.
Katie: Woah, woah, woah! First, did you just compare yourself to All Star English Major MW? Second, did you just dis our alma mater?
"Faith for my deliverance is not faith in God. Faith means, whether I am visibly delivered or not, I will stick to my belief that God is love. There are some things only learned from a fiery furnace." - Oswald Chambers in Run Today's Race
Allyson: Are you going to get your haircut?
Jennifer: I don't know where.
Allyson: Tah-tay-tow?
Neal: Are you blogging?
Katie: Are you making fun of me?
Neal: I don't make fun of people.
Katie: Neither do I.
Neal: You're not sarcastic either.
Sarah: He's not Slut Bucket; he's Garret the Ferret.
Rebekah: He's not a rodent!
Sarah: He's more of a rodent than a slut.
Garret: Hey, now!
Allyson: Katie's just so cool. She has good body language, too, and her thinking is so... inter... intermaculate. It's real cool. And, Katie, I like her walk.
"We don't just want to get them out of the dumpsite; we want to get the dumpsite out of their hearts." - Tania Meza
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Author's Note: Welcome to Wacky Wednesday! This post is a complication of ridiculous and profound statements made in everyday conversation or literature. We all say stupid stuff. Some of us more than others. Laugh, smile, be challenged. <>< Katie
"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 33
Mom: If your right turn signal is on, your vehicle should not be veering to the left. Thought I'd bring that to your attention.
"In China, Christians are persecuted with beatings and imprisonment. In the West, Christians are persecuted by the words of other Christians." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 309
Amber: When are you due?
Bridget: Four months ago.
Amber: No, when is your baby coming?
Laura: It's a good thing I can't form sentences in my brain because otherwise I'd be a really mean person.
"God really is in the business of blessing His people in unusual ways so His goodness and His greatness will be declared among all peoples." - David Platt, Radical, 67
Kevin [20s]: I'm an old man. I have some gray hair.
Elizabeth: It's time to get a box.
[Awkward pause]
Elizabeth: Of hair dye.
Kevin: Don't lie, you meant a pine box!
"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is no there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis
Mom: You put the pregnant fish in the maternity ward and when the babies are born they're sucked up and shot into the fishy nursery.
Katie: As if being born isn't traumatic enough!
Jori [To me]: Oh, ye, writer person!
[1am]
Laura: Wait, you're not even in the bed anymore, you doofus!
"We learned a lesson that morning. When we arrive at the end of our own strength it is not defeat but the start of tapping into God's boundless resources. It is when we are weak that we are strong in God." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 194
Mom: Fat!
Katie [fake surprise, panic, excitement]: Where?!
Elizabeth: You know, Katie, I was the first person on University's campus to ever lick you. I take full credit for that.
"Joy is God and God is joy and joy doesn't negate all other emotions--joy transcends all other emotions." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 176
Mary Beth: You know how there's always that one annoying cousin?
Katie: I only have three cousins. My dad is that annoying cousin.
Laura: I love old people! This one time this old person did something and it made me laugh
Katie: Great story.
"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us." - James H. McConkey, Life Talks, 103 (qtd. Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138)
Waitress: What size to go box?
Melia: The little one works.
Waitress: That's what she said.
"But the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138
Professor: For Jesus?
Student: Yeah! We go everywhere for Jesus!
Professor: Alright!
"I hunger and thirst for filling in a world that is starved." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 17
Laura: Sometimes I know I'm saying stupid stuff, but I just keep saying it. It's funnier that way.
Juanita: Vernon! Don't lick my curtains!
Vernon: I wasn't licking them; I was biting them.
"Ultimately, I don't want to miss eternal treasure because I settle for earthly trinkets." - David Platt, Radical, 138
Katie: I don't really use the term "Best friend" because basically if you went to University with me, you're my best friend.
"Having God on our side doesn't mean sailing a boat with no storms; it means sailing a boat no storm can sink." - Unknown
Katie: No, you don't touch the scissors again until I give you further instructions.
Jori: My TA is getting cheeky.
Katie: I'm the brain!
Mom: My fish are eating the cats!
"Anger is the lid that suffocates joy until she lies limp and lifeless." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 177
Jori: If "biceps" were with an "s" it'd be "bis-eps.
Mike: Maybe that's what I have.
GPS: Recalculating.
Mom: Oh for heaven sakes! We're just going to McDonald's to pee; you don't have to recalculate!
"But what if we don't need to sit back and wait for a call to foreign missions? What if the very reason we have breath is because we have been saved for a global mission? And what if anything less than passionate involvement in global missions is actually selling God short by frustrating the very purpose for which He created us?" - David Platt, Radical, 75
Michael Tait: Everyone who loves the Lord, shake your bonbons!
Katie: You ok, Dad?
Dad: No. Mom sent half of the water from that faucet up my nose!
"He always enjoyed seeing the happiness that the travelers experienced when, after weeks of yellow sand and blue sky, they first saw the green of the date palms. Maybe God created the desert so that man could appreciate the date trees, he thought." - The Alchemist, 87
Christina: Katie, will you babysit for this kid to show him how nice I really am?
Mom: Good night, Mary Ellen.
Katie: Good night, Jim Bob.
Laura: Good night, Laura.
Mom: Why are you saying goodnight to yourself? That doesn't work!
Laura: Oh, good night, Suzy.
Mom: No, no, no.
Laura: What? I thought we were just saying good night to people who aren't here.
"Whether it is your family, the government, the religious establishment, or someone else, you will be hated." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Girl [age 14]: This is the first water balloon I've ever tied myself. I'm going to save it and put it in my scrapbook!
Jori: We could do that.
Katie: Ok, let's do it. Right here on your bed.
["It" was really make peanut brittle]
Katie: I don't want a Tetanus shot.
Christina: Wait! Are we talking doctor shot or alcohol shot?
Mom: I'm pretty sure there's no alcohol named "Tetanus."
Nurse: You've had so many shots they're blinding me!
"You're not doing the youth ministry until your youth are doing the ministry." - LCMS, Missouri District
Katie: It's a dove, not a kite. You can't tied a string to your dove.
Jori: Ok, I will not leave you.
Katie and Jori: Or forsake you!
"I learned we should never beat the sheep, but [we] must feed them if we want them to follow." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 174
Katie: He's on his way home. By "he" I mean Dad.
Mom: I figured Dad was the "he" since he's the only "he" who calls you.
[in China]
Jeremy: Pancakes are just like noodles except not noodles!
"Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be sin." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: I have a Peder CD we could listen to.
Laura: I'm petered out.
Katie: You aren't allowed in there.
Christina: Meh, rules are for sissies.
Katie: Yes, they are, and since you're my sissy you should get out.
"Prayer without ceasing is only possible in a life of continual thanks." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 60
Dad: I'm going to put on a different shirt.
[He wasn't wearing a shirt]
Emily: Sorry, I guess I just get distracted when my clothes come off.
"Again, we don't think like this: 'If we would all just become like Jesus, the wold would really love us,' he say. The reality is that if we really become like Jesus, the world will hate us. Why? Because the world hated Him." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Katie [Fingerspelled]: Adrenaline.
Amber [Voiced]: I saw koalas.
Katie [Signed]: No, adrenaline. You know, the drug.
Amber [Voiced]: The letter C? I got nothin'!
"I've got to get this thing; what it means to trust, to gut-believe in the good touch of God toward me because it's true: I can't fill with joy until I learn how to trust: 'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow' (Romans 15:13 NIV). The full life, the own spilling joy and peace, happens only as I come to trust the caress of the Lover, Lover who never burdens His children with shame or self-condemnation but keeps stroking the fears with gentle grace." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall?
Mom: No, forty-nine bottles of wine in the hall.
[Chinese people in China]
Sara: In America, this is a very good price.
Jim: In China, I get it for less.
Sara: Then maybe you should go back to China and buy it there.
"He [Jesus] was calling them [the disciples] to abandon their careers. They were reorienting their entire life's work around discipleship of Jesus. Their plans and dreams were now swallowed up in His." - David Platt, Radical, 7
Jori: It flew from my peach!
Katie: I'd rather shoot myself in the face.
Dad: You'd rather ship yourself to Spain?
"Everything in all creation responds in obedience to the Creator... until we get to you and me. We have the audacity to look God in the face and say, 'No.'" - David Platt, Radical, 31
[Over the phone]
Neal: While we were praying it started raining here. Just shows it rains on the righteous and the unrighteous. Me being the latter.
Katie: It's not raining here.
Neal: Does that mean you're in limbo?
Katie: I'm luke-warm, dang it!
Curt: I'm teaching [the topic] strangers, then if I have more time, I'll teach friends, then if I have more time, I'll teach Vernon.
Amber: Katie, your dad is ridiculious. He gets away with things that no other human being would ever get away with.
"In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him. In the process He powerfully demonstrates His ability to prove everything His people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined." - David Platt, Radical, 47
"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 33
Mom: If your right turn signal is on, your vehicle should not be veering to the left. Thought I'd bring that to your attention.
"In China, Christians are persecuted with beatings and imprisonment. In the West, Christians are persecuted by the words of other Christians." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 309
Amber: When are you due?
Bridget: Four months ago.
Amber: No, when is your baby coming?
Laura: It's a good thing I can't form sentences in my brain because otherwise I'd be a really mean person.
"God really is in the business of blessing His people in unusual ways so His goodness and His greatness will be declared among all peoples." - David Platt, Radical, 67
Kevin [20s]: I'm an old man. I have some gray hair.
Elizabeth: It's time to get a box.
[Awkward pause]
Elizabeth: Of hair dye.
Kevin: Don't lie, you meant a pine box!
"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is no there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis
Mom: You put the pregnant fish in the maternity ward and when the babies are born they're sucked up and shot into the fishy nursery.
Katie: As if being born isn't traumatic enough!
Jori [To me]: Oh, ye, writer person!
[1am]
Laura: Wait, you're not even in the bed anymore, you doofus!
"We learned a lesson that morning. When we arrive at the end of our own strength it is not defeat but the start of tapping into God's boundless resources. It is when we are weak that we are strong in God." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 194
Mom: Fat!
Katie [fake surprise, panic, excitement]: Where?!
Elizabeth: You know, Katie, I was the first person on University's campus to ever lick you. I take full credit for that.
"Joy is God and God is joy and joy doesn't negate all other emotions--joy transcends all other emotions." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 176
Mary Beth: You know how there's always that one annoying cousin?
Katie: I only have three cousins. My dad is that annoying cousin.
Laura: I love old people! This one time this old person did something and it made me laugh
Katie: Great story.
"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us." - James H. McConkey, Life Talks, 103 (qtd. Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138)
Waitress: What size to go box?
Melia: The little one works.
Waitress: That's what she said.
"But the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 138
Professor: For Jesus?
Student: Yeah! We go everywhere for Jesus!
Professor: Alright!
"I hunger and thirst for filling in a world that is starved." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 17
Laura: Sometimes I know I'm saying stupid stuff, but I just keep saying it. It's funnier that way.
Juanita: Vernon! Don't lick my curtains!
Vernon: I wasn't licking them; I was biting them.
"Ultimately, I don't want to miss eternal treasure because I settle for earthly trinkets." - David Platt, Radical, 138
Katie: I don't really use the term "Best friend" because basically if you went to University with me, you're my best friend.
"Having God on our side doesn't mean sailing a boat with no storms; it means sailing a boat no storm can sink." - Unknown
Katie: No, you don't touch the scissors again until I give you further instructions.
Jori: My TA is getting cheeky.
Katie: I'm the brain!
Mom: My fish are eating the cats!
"Anger is the lid that suffocates joy until she lies limp and lifeless." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 177
Jori: If "biceps" were with an "s" it'd be "bis-eps.
Mike: Maybe that's what I have.
GPS: Recalculating.
Mom: Oh for heaven sakes! We're just going to McDonald's to pee; you don't have to recalculate!
"But what if we don't need to sit back and wait for a call to foreign missions? What if the very reason we have breath is because we have been saved for a global mission? And what if anything less than passionate involvement in global missions is actually selling God short by frustrating the very purpose for which He created us?" - David Platt, Radical, 75
Michael Tait: Everyone who loves the Lord, shake your bonbons!
Katie: You ok, Dad?
Dad: No. Mom sent half of the water from that faucet up my nose!
"He always enjoyed seeing the happiness that the travelers experienced when, after weeks of yellow sand and blue sky, they first saw the green of the date palms. Maybe God created the desert so that man could appreciate the date trees, he thought." - The Alchemist, 87
Christina: Katie, will you babysit for this kid to show him how nice I really am?
Mom: Good night, Mary Ellen.
Katie: Good night, Jim Bob.
Laura: Good night, Laura.
Mom: Why are you saying goodnight to yourself? That doesn't work!
Laura: Oh, good night, Suzy.
Mom: No, no, no.
Laura: What? I thought we were just saying good night to people who aren't here.
"Whether it is your family, the government, the religious establishment, or someone else, you will be hated." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Girl [age 14]: This is the first water balloon I've ever tied myself. I'm going to save it and put it in my scrapbook!
Jori: We could do that.
Katie: Ok, let's do it. Right here on your bed.
["It" was really make peanut brittle]
Katie: I don't want a Tetanus shot.
Christina: Wait! Are we talking doctor shot or alcohol shot?
Mom: I'm pretty sure there's no alcohol named "Tetanus."
Nurse: You've had so many shots they're blinding me!
"You're not doing the youth ministry until your youth are doing the ministry." - LCMS, Missouri District
Katie: It's a dove, not a kite. You can't tied a string to your dove.
Jori: Ok, I will not leave you.
Katie and Jori: Or forsake you!
"I learned we should never beat the sheep, but [we] must feed them if we want them to follow." - Brother Yun, The Heavenly Man, 174
Katie: He's on his way home. By "he" I mean Dad.
Mom: I figured Dad was the "he" since he's the only "he" who calls you.
[in China]
Jeremy: Pancakes are just like noodles except not noodles!
"Stress isn't only a joy stealer. The way we respond to it can be sin." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: I have a Peder CD we could listen to.
Laura: I'm petered out.
Katie: You aren't allowed in there.
Christina: Meh, rules are for sissies.
Katie: Yes, they are, and since you're my sissy you should get out.
"Prayer without ceasing is only possible in a life of continual thanks." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 60
Dad: I'm going to put on a different shirt.
[He wasn't wearing a shirt]
Emily: Sorry, I guess I just get distracted when my clothes come off.
"Again, we don't think like this: 'If we would all just become like Jesus, the wold would really love us,' he say. The reality is that if we really become like Jesus, the world will hate us. Why? Because the world hated Him." - David Platt, Radical, 167
Katie [Fingerspelled]: Adrenaline.
Amber [Voiced]: I saw koalas.
Katie [Signed]: No, adrenaline. You know, the drug.
Amber [Voiced]: The letter C? I got nothin'!
"I've got to get this thing; what it means to trust, to gut-believe in the good touch of God toward me because it's true: I can't fill with joy until I learn how to trust: 'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow' (Romans 15:13 NIV). The full life, the own spilling joy and peace, happens only as I come to trust the caress of the Lover, Lover who never burdens His children with shame or self-condemnation but keeps stroking the fears with gentle grace." - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, 146
Katie: Forty-nine bottles of beer on the wall?
Mom: No, forty-nine bottles of wine in the hall.
[Chinese people in China]
Sara: In America, this is a very good price.
Jim: In China, I get it for less.
Sara: Then maybe you should go back to China and buy it there.
"He [Jesus] was calling them [the disciples] to abandon their careers. They were reorienting their entire life's work around discipleship of Jesus. Their plans and dreams were now swallowed up in His." - David Platt, Radical, 7
Jori: It flew from my peach!
Katie: I'd rather shoot myself in the face.
Dad: You'd rather ship yourself to Spain?
"Everything in all creation responds in obedience to the Creator... until we get to you and me. We have the audacity to look God in the face and say, 'No.'" - David Platt, Radical, 31
[Over the phone]
Neal: While we were praying it started raining here. Just shows it rains on the righteous and the unrighteous. Me being the latter.
Katie: It's not raining here.
Neal: Does that mean you're in limbo?
Katie: I'm luke-warm, dang it!
Curt: I'm teaching [the topic] strangers, then if I have more time, I'll teach friends, then if I have more time, I'll teach Vernon.
Amber: Katie, your dad is ridiculious. He gets away with things that no other human being would ever get away with.
"In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him. In the process He powerfully demonstrates His ability to prove everything His people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined." - David Platt, Radical, 47
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Christian: The most difficult times are often the most sacred not because of the difficulty we face but because difficulties allow us to more boldly cling to the most sacred thing of all: the hope in Jesus Christ who died, rose, and lives and reigns forever.
Sara: I got disowned by David last night because I haven't seen Star Wars.
Katie: I haven't seen it either.
Sara: David! Katie Ax hasn't seen Star Wars either!
David: But I'm not dating Katie Ax.
Katie: Thank goodness!
Mom: Katie, I wish we had gone to Ruby Tuesday's so you could meet the bartender. He's really friendly.
E [age 10]: School's hard. I have lots of homework.
Katie: It's because you're getting closer to The G-word.
E: I want to graduate. Why don't you want to graduate?
Katie: Well... uh.... It's scary.
E: Is it because you're getting old?
Katie: Yes! Like your dad! [Neal]
Mom: Do you want sugar in your coffee?
Grandma: Yes, please.
Mom: White or brown?
Grandma: Brown.
Mom: Brown sugar.
Grandma: Oh, no. White. I thought you were talking about coffee.
[What's white coffee?]
Katie [running my hand down a photo]: I want to be here.
Jennifer: You are here!
Katie: I mean, in this photo.
Josh: The mark I made on you is still there. It's like I bought you.
Emily: It's because I don't bathe.
Katie: I really hope that like four years from now when we're not roommates anymore facebook still exists so we can go view our friendship and see these crazy conversations we had with each other from across the room.
Jennifer: We're not going to be friends anymore?
Katie: I said roommates.
Jennifer: Awe, man! I was getting excited!
John: Even when you get married and have kids. Not in that order. Wait. Yes. In that order.
Elizabeth: Katie, do you have any stamps?
Katie: Yes.
Elizabeth: And after I use your stamp can I use your mailing service?
Katie: Yes.
[I hand her a roll of stamps. She looks at them pensively]
Elizabeth: Do I just put one?
Katie: No, you put them all.
Jennifer: You forgot to lick it!
Saxon: Everyone has some singing fish in their closet.
Maegan: Is it Coach K or Coach K-A-Y? You know, the coach for UNC.
Friend: OH MY GOSH! He's the coach for Duke! I disown you! Don't talk to me for a few hours!
Katie: Cat. Puking. On. Table.
Sara: Why do we say "as"? There's no z. I mean, I know the alternative, but why?
David: I think it's an American thing. My parents don't enunciate the "s" like most people do.
Katie: So it sounds like your parents are swearing at you every time they say "ass"?
David: Wacky Wednesday!
Jennifer: My Bible's really dusty. That's never a good sign. But it's because I've been reading my little one.
Katie: I have five pounds of Nicaraguan coffee.
Grandma: Five pounds of McDonalds coffee?
Ashley: For our skit we could sing "A Whole New World" and act out The Little Mermaid in the background.
Katie: Why are there Wheat Thins in our fridge again?
Amy: Apparently Andy's been hanging out with Allyson.
Andy: I didn't do it! Oh, yeah, I did. Oops.
Emily: When I'm a doctor I'm only going to treat strep throat and ear infections.
Josh: Good choice, refer out that nasty flu.
Jennifer: Never mind. Don't worry about it. I don't understand myself half of the time.
Katie: Good because neither do the rest of us.
Mom: And we'll make Laura's room the bunk room.
Katie: Sure, put my husband and me next to all of the screaming kids.
Mom: Yeah, why not? Most of them will be yours anyway.
Dr. T: Good thing you didn't get into grad school otherwise we'd have nothing to talk about over lunch.
Katie: I know, we'd have to stare at each other awkwardly.
Katie: I'm getting sick, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Life goes on.
Amy: Pop quiz: what's a noun?
Jennifer: A person, place, or thing.
Amy: What is a pronoun?
Jennifer: Rock, mineral, or vegetable?
Amy: When do you use a comma?
Jennifer: To separate pauses.
Amy: No, clauses. Nikki, what's eight times eight.
Nikki: Sixzzzzhhhhzzzhhhhugh grunt.
Katie: Sixty-Four.
[pause]
Nikki: It is sixty-four! I knew it was sixty-four!
Mom: You speak lots of tongues, shut up.
Katie: I don't remember "shut up" in the Bible.
[Getting in the car]
Jennifer: Elizabeth! Sit next to me!
Andy: Nikki! Sit next to me!
Katie: No one wants me to sit by them.
Andy: Katie, you can walk.
Elizabeth: Andy!
Andy: --walk over here and hug me while I hold this door open for you.
B [age 5]: Let's get him!
College Girls: With that?
B: Weapons!
CG: What kind of weapons?
B: Fake weapons!
Bob Lenz: Worship is not supposed to be our service. Service is supposed to be our worship.
Sara: I got disowned by David last night because I haven't seen Star Wars.
Katie: I haven't seen it either.
Sara: David! Katie Ax hasn't seen Star Wars either!
David: But I'm not dating Katie Ax.
Katie: Thank goodness!
Mom: Katie, I wish we had gone to Ruby Tuesday's so you could meet the bartender. He's really friendly.
E [age 10]: School's hard. I have lots of homework.
Katie: It's because you're getting closer to The G-word.
E: I want to graduate. Why don't you want to graduate?
Katie: Well... uh.... It's scary.
E: Is it because you're getting old?
Katie: Yes! Like your dad! [Neal]
Mom: Do you want sugar in your coffee?
Grandma: Yes, please.
Mom: White or brown?
Grandma: Brown.
Mom: Brown sugar.
Grandma: Oh, no. White. I thought you were talking about coffee.
[What's white coffee?]
Katie [running my hand down a photo]: I want to be here.
Jennifer: You are here!
Katie: I mean, in this photo.
Josh: The mark I made on you is still there. It's like I bought you.
Emily: It's because I don't bathe.
Katie: I really hope that like four years from now when we're not roommates anymore facebook still exists so we can go view our friendship and see these crazy conversations we had with each other from across the room.
Jennifer: We're not going to be friends anymore?
Katie: I said roommates.
Jennifer: Awe, man! I was getting excited!
John: Even when you get married and have kids. Not in that order. Wait. Yes. In that order.
Elizabeth: Katie, do you have any stamps?
Katie: Yes.
Elizabeth: And after I use your stamp can I use your mailing service?
Katie: Yes.
[I hand her a roll of stamps. She looks at them pensively]
Elizabeth: Do I just put one?
Katie: No, you put them all.
Jennifer: You forgot to lick it!
Saxon: Everyone has some singing fish in their closet.
Maegan: Is it Coach K or Coach K-A-Y? You know, the coach for UNC.
Friend: OH MY GOSH! He's the coach for Duke! I disown you! Don't talk to me for a few hours!
Katie: Cat. Puking. On. Table.
Sara: Why do we say "as"? There's no z. I mean, I know the alternative, but why?
David: I think it's an American thing. My parents don't enunciate the "s" like most people do.
Katie: So it sounds like your parents are swearing at you every time they say "ass"?
David: Wacky Wednesday!
Jennifer: My Bible's really dusty. That's never a good sign. But it's because I've been reading my little one.
Katie: I have five pounds of Nicaraguan coffee.
Grandma: Five pounds of McDonalds coffee?
Ashley: For our skit we could sing "A Whole New World" and act out The Little Mermaid in the background.
Katie: Why are there Wheat Thins in our fridge again?
Amy: Apparently Andy's been hanging out with Allyson.
Andy: I didn't do it! Oh, yeah, I did. Oops.
Emily: When I'm a doctor I'm only going to treat strep throat and ear infections.
Josh: Good choice, refer out that nasty flu.
Jennifer: Never mind. Don't worry about it. I don't understand myself half of the time.
Katie: Good because neither do the rest of us.
Mom: And we'll make Laura's room the bunk room.
Katie: Sure, put my husband and me next to all of the screaming kids.
Mom: Yeah, why not? Most of them will be yours anyway.
Dr. T: Good thing you didn't get into grad school otherwise we'd have nothing to talk about over lunch.
Katie: I know, we'd have to stare at each other awkwardly.
Katie: I'm getting sick, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Life goes on.
Amy: Pop quiz: what's a noun?
Jennifer: A person, place, or thing.
Amy: What is a pronoun?
Jennifer: Rock, mineral, or vegetable?
Amy: When do you use a comma?
Jennifer: To separate pauses.
Amy: No, clauses. Nikki, what's eight times eight.
Nikki: Sixzzzzhhhhzzzhhhhugh grunt.
Katie: Sixty-Four.
[pause]
Nikki: It is sixty-four! I knew it was sixty-four!
Mom: You speak lots of tongues, shut up.
Katie: I don't remember "shut up" in the Bible.
[Getting in the car]
Jennifer: Elizabeth! Sit next to me!
Andy: Nikki! Sit next to me!
Katie: No one wants me to sit by them.
Andy: Katie, you can walk.
Elizabeth: Andy!
Andy: --walk over here and hug me while I hold this door open for you.
B [age 5]: Let's get him!
College Girls: With that?
B: Weapons!
CG: What kind of weapons?
B: Fake weapons!
Bob Lenz: Worship is not supposed to be our service. Service is supposed to be our worship.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
David: Katie, I especially like the Wacky Wednesday quotes when Nikki's mocking you because they're so funny!
Heather: Evan, get a canoe and row home.
Evan: I would love that but I think it's uphill.
Katie: It wouldn't matter; you'd be in a canoe!
Katie: It's "Yo quiero verTe."
Neal: Yeah, V-E-R-D-E.
Katie: No, V-E-R-T-E. It's "I want to see You" not "I want green."
Andy: What is this? Do I look like a maid? Or a butler?
Amy: The first one.
Nikki: Maid.
Caitlin: You exchanged hats! That's like a promise.
Michael: Yeah! It's a promise ring for gangsters.
Katie: Is that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on your shirt?
Professor: James, do you know your Bible well?
James: No.
Professor: That's because you didn't grow up Lutheran.
Jennifer: Elizabeth, I can feel your heart beat through my butt!
Manolo: Say, "Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua."
Neal: Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua.
Katie: Neal! Stop swearing at us!
Neal: What?
Katie: He's teaching you naughty words!
Neal: Nah! This is a man of the Lord!
[an hour later Manolo did intentionally teach Neal the wrong word]
Nikki: I made a phalic image in this poem and he totally caught it!
Katie: He's a boy. I'm not surprised.
Nikki: No, it was a Biblical image!
Katie: He's a boy and a div school student.
Sara: Katie's always brave and tries the mystery salad from the stir fry line.
[That's really just in here for Mom]
[I'm cutting cookie cake with a butter knife. Andy handed me the machete we use to cut watermelon]
Katie: Will you make the bleeding stop when I cut myself with this knife?
Andy: Yes, but only this once.
Katie: Do you want some cookie cake without any blood on it?
Andy: No, I want blood on mine.
Katie: Well, I'll supply the cookie cake. You'll have to supply the blood.
Boy: I thought it was a fart. But then it rolled down my leg.
Mother: And onto the carpet.
Brother: Yeah, I'll put that on my facebook: my brother pooped on the carpet.
Mother: No.
Boy: Please, Mom?
Ted: Uno, dos, tros.
Mo: Oh, did you see? The directions are in plastic, too.
Jessica: You can't read plastic?
Mo: I mean, English.
Nikki: Do you like your sandwich cut?
Amy: Yes, like animals.
Nikki: You're going to get triangles. Four of them. Actually, I changed my mind and cut your P, B, and J like a pizza.
Erica: Where's Sherry from? America? I thought she was from Australia.
Sara: Are you stretching or giving me a hug?
David: Yes.
Heather: God is so good amidst all this crap.
Katie: She just said a naughty word in the prayer room!
Anonymous Friend: Hell, yeah!
Katie: Nikki! You always walk away when I'm talking!
Nikki: I know that your stories are long enough that I can walk away and come back to hear the real point.
Amy: Ah! I just got my phone charger stuck in the air conditioner vent.
James: I didn't do the assigment.
Professor: Well, that's what we expect from males.
Dad: I had a bad dream last night. I was graduating college and I didn't have a job.
Katie: I'm so glad your nightmare is my reality.
Neal: If you don't perform your role, our body is not whole. So don't let satan convince you that you're insignificant or something you did last week means you're not capable for being part of the body this week. Without you, our joy is not complete and we can't enjoy this trip. Maybe you're a pinky or maybe you're a heart; you're still part of the body.
Heather: Evan, get a canoe and row home.
Evan: I would love that but I think it's uphill.
Katie: It wouldn't matter; you'd be in a canoe!
Katie: It's "Yo quiero verTe."
Neal: Yeah, V-E-R-D-E.
Katie: No, V-E-R-T-E. It's "I want to see You" not "I want green."
Andy: What is this? Do I look like a maid? Or a butler?
Amy: The first one.
Nikki: Maid.
Caitlin: You exchanged hats! That's like a promise.
Michael: Yeah! It's a promise ring for gangsters.
Katie: Is that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on your shirt?
Professor: James, do you know your Bible well?
James: No.
Professor: That's because you didn't grow up Lutheran.
Jennifer: Elizabeth, I can feel your heart beat through my butt!
Manolo: Say, "Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua."
Neal: Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua.
Katie: Neal! Stop swearing at us!
Neal: What?
Katie: He's teaching you naughty words!
Neal: Nah! This is a man of the Lord!
[an hour later Manolo did intentionally teach Neal the wrong word]
Nikki: I made a phalic image in this poem and he totally caught it!
Katie: He's a boy. I'm not surprised.
Nikki: No, it was a Biblical image!
Katie: He's a boy and a div school student.
Sara: Katie's always brave and tries the mystery salad from the stir fry line.
[That's really just in here for Mom]
[I'm cutting cookie cake with a butter knife. Andy handed me the machete we use to cut watermelon]
Katie: Will you make the bleeding stop when I cut myself with this knife?
Andy: Yes, but only this once.
Katie: Do you want some cookie cake without any blood on it?
Andy: No, I want blood on mine.
Katie: Well, I'll supply the cookie cake. You'll have to supply the blood.
Boy: I thought it was a fart. But then it rolled down my leg.
Mother: And onto the carpet.
Brother: Yeah, I'll put that on my facebook: my brother pooped on the carpet.
Mother: No.
Boy: Please, Mom?
Ted: Uno, dos, tros.
Mo: Oh, did you see? The directions are in plastic, too.
Jessica: You can't read plastic?
Mo: I mean, English.
Nikki: Do you like your sandwich cut?
Amy: Yes, like animals.
Nikki: You're going to get triangles. Four of them. Actually, I changed my mind and cut your P, B, and J like a pizza.
Erica: Where's Sherry from? America? I thought she was from Australia.
Sara: Are you stretching or giving me a hug?
David: Yes.
Heather: God is so good amidst all this crap.
Katie: She just said a naughty word in the prayer room!
Anonymous Friend: Hell, yeah!
Katie: Nikki! You always walk away when I'm talking!
Nikki: I know that your stories are long enough that I can walk away and come back to hear the real point.
Amy: Ah! I just got my phone charger stuck in the air conditioner vent.
James: I didn't do the assigment.
Professor: Well, that's what we expect from males.
Dad: I had a bad dream last night. I was graduating college and I didn't have a job.
Katie: I'm so glad your nightmare is my reality.
Neal: If you don't perform your role, our body is not whole. So don't let satan convince you that you're insignificant or something you did last week means you're not capable for being part of the body this week. Without you, our joy is not complete and we can't enjoy this trip. Maybe you're a pinky or maybe you're a heart; you're still part of the body.
Friday, April 1, 2011
God: Interpreter, Provider
I didn't realize how much time Neal and I spent together in Nicaragua until I got home and started telling these stories. I think this is the last one (for now).
On Thursday morning we drove to another middle-of-nowhere church where we were going to do a service at 10am. The Nicaraguan pastors suggested we walk around town and invite people, especially children, to the service. So we did exactly that.
We strategically split into two groups with our best Spanish-speaking students split up and our bilingual Nicaraguan pastors split up. Manolo, the bilingual Nicaragua pastor in our group, told me he wasn't going to translate our invitations. That was all my job. Huh what? Not fair!
I would have much preferred to hide in the back and not do any of the talking. Manolo was going to make sure that didn't happen.
So towards the first house we walked. Our team stayed in a crowd in the street, and Neal and I approached the front door.
"Buenas," he said. "We're going to have a church service over there at ten o'clock if you'd be interested in joining us. Especially children, we're going to have activities and games for them."
Yeah, I don't know those words. But I translated the best I could. Then Neal and I walked on to the next house, and Manolo talked to the people, probably clarifying what I said.
Neal tried to get the other people in our group to introduce the neighbors, but only a few did and still I did all of the translating. Honestly, I didn't really think it fair that they got to hang out and talk while I did all of the work.
That's because it was awkward and very uncomfortable to walk up to a house and talk to strangers about church... in Spanish never the less! Neal and I confessed to each other that it was out of our comfort zones. But with every house, we admitted, it got easier. Neal became comfortable with his spiel and thus I began to anticipate what he was going to say. Of course, he threw me a curve ball now and again but the more houses we talked to, the less clarification Manolo gave afterwards.
Of course, by now it was 10:05 and we were still inviting people to the service at 10:00... Nicaraguan time.
As we walked back to the church to prepare for the service, we talked about how the Holy Spirit interprets for us. It communicates what we cannot. That brought me so much peace. Even with my befuddled Spanish, the Holy Spirit allowed to be heard what needed to be heard.
When we got back to the church, we were able to see the fruits of our labor. Not at first, mind you, but slowly the church filled up. Eventually, they dismissed the kids to go out back.
One... two... three... four... I stopped counting at 50. Our final estimate was about 80. All squished into an area the size of a dorm room.
And again we had no plan.
We did a skit to stall for time. Then Sara told the story of Jonah (and Annalisa, our best Spanish-speaker, interpreted). Then we handed out Jonah coloring pages... until we ran out.
Then we handed out home safety coloring pages... until we ran out.
Then we handed out blank pieces of paper... until we ran out. That time we ran out of kids asking for paper.
I manned the paper and crayons while our other team members scattered themselves among the masses.
Some of our girls set up in the corner of the backyard area and made Salvation Bracelets.
We kept worrying about running out of beads, so we signaled for those incharge of the service to wrap it up. They saw, "Keep going."
Five loaves, two fish, and a half-a-bag of beads we did not run out. God is such a provider! It's was awesome!
It was great to be on the bus leaving and see the children wave, each boasting a Salvation Bracelet on the wrist that matches mine.
I came home with some very important lessons learned:
1. Sometimes God asks us to do things that are uncomfortable. But the more you do them, the more comfortable they become.
2. The Holy Spirit interprets and speaks when we cannot. What needs to be said is said through no doing of our own.
3. The Lord provides. It's as simple as that.
Thankful for Grace,
<>< Katie
On Thursday morning we drove to another middle-of-nowhere church where we were going to do a service at 10am. The Nicaraguan pastors suggested we walk around town and invite people, especially children, to the service. So we did exactly that.
We strategically split into two groups with our best Spanish-speaking students split up and our bilingual Nicaraguan pastors split up. Manolo, the bilingual Nicaragua pastor in our group, told me he wasn't going to translate our invitations. That was all my job. Huh what? Not fair!
I would have much preferred to hide in the back and not do any of the talking. Manolo was going to make sure that didn't happen.
So towards the first house we walked. Our team stayed in a crowd in the street, and Neal and I approached the front door.
"Buenas," he said. "We're going to have a church service over there at ten o'clock if you'd be interested in joining us. Especially children, we're going to have activities and games for them."
Yeah, I don't know those words. But I translated the best I could. Then Neal and I walked on to the next house, and Manolo talked to the people, probably clarifying what I said.
Neal tried to get the other people in our group to introduce the neighbors, but only a few did and still I did all of the translating. Honestly, I didn't really think it fair that they got to hang out and talk while I did all of the work.
That's because it was awkward and very uncomfortable to walk up to a house and talk to strangers about church... in Spanish never the less! Neal and I confessed to each other that it was out of our comfort zones. But with every house, we admitted, it got easier. Neal became comfortable with his spiel and thus I began to anticipate what he was going to say. Of course, he threw me a curve ball now and again but the more houses we talked to, the less clarification Manolo gave afterwards.
Of course, by now it was 10:05 and we were still inviting people to the service at 10:00... Nicaraguan time.
As we walked back to the church to prepare for the service, we talked about how the Holy Spirit interprets for us. It communicates what we cannot. That brought me so much peace. Even with my befuddled Spanish, the Holy Spirit allowed to be heard what needed to be heard.
When we got back to the church, we were able to see the fruits of our labor. Not at first, mind you, but slowly the church filled up. Eventually, they dismissed the kids to go out back.
One... two... three... four... I stopped counting at 50. Our final estimate was about 80. All squished into an area the size of a dorm room.
And again we had no plan.
We did a skit to stall for time. Then Sara told the story of Jonah (and Annalisa, our best Spanish-speaker, interpreted). Then we handed out Jonah coloring pages... until we ran out.
Then we handed out home safety coloring pages... until we ran out.
Then we handed out blank pieces of paper... until we ran out. That time we ran out of kids asking for paper.
I manned the paper and crayons while our other team members scattered themselves among the masses.
Some of our girls set up in the corner of the backyard area and made Salvation Bracelets.
We kept worrying about running out of beads, so we signaled for those incharge of the service to wrap it up. They saw, "Keep going."
Five loaves, two fish, and a half-a-bag of beads we did not run out. God is such a provider! It's was awesome!
It was great to be on the bus leaving and see the children wave, each boasting a Salvation Bracelet on the wrist that matches mine.
I came home with some very important lessons learned:
1. Sometimes God asks us to do things that are uncomfortable. But the more you do them, the more comfortable they become.
2. The Holy Spirit interprets and speaks when we cannot. What needs to be said is said through no doing of our own.
3. The Lord provides. It's as simple as that.
Thankful for Grace,
<>< Katie
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Katie: Sometimes broken things are worth keeping.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Allyson: I had to put studs in my ears because my right ear was growing up.
Jennifer: Really? Getting more mature, too?
Katie: Is it going to graduate high school?
Andy: Katie, go home.
Katie: I am home. You can leave.
Nikki: The way Katie plays with hair stresses me out.
Nikki: NO PDA!
Elizabeth: That wasn't PDA! He blew a raspberry on my cheek! There's no affection!
Katie: Nikki, I find it really easy to appreciate you when I don't see you.
Katie [voice]: Andy, if you're in the bathroom for more than five minutes, I'm calling 911.
[Five minutes later]
Katie [text]: It's been five minutes. I'm calling 911.
Andy [text]: I am 911!
Katie [voice]: ANDY!
Andy [voice... from the bathroom]: What?
Katie: This boy's been in my bathroom for more than five minutes.
Katie: You guys can come to my wedding, but it won't be dry.
Jennifer: Then I'm bringing a poncho.
Matt: Missions is praying, giving, and going. If you're not a missionary, you're a mission field.
Nikki: Half the things they talk about in that song we don't do on campus. ["Cheats" by Carrie Underwood]
Katie: Break into cars. Slash tires.
Andy: Listen to country music.
Amber: Is it weird that I don't like being complemented on my interpreting because I don't want to interpret?
Katie: No. It's like me being complemented on my poetry.
Elizabeth: Katie, while you're just standing there, would you make some chocolate chip cookies please? [We don't have an oven]
Elizabeth: Why can't we just defrost the dough in the oven?
Nikki: Because the oven is not a defroster.
Elizabeth: Then put them in the microwave.
Amy: This IS college! I'll call my mom. Mom, this is an emergency! Do we have to thaw the cookie dough before we make them? The directions say to thaw completely but we want cookies NOW!
Katie: I color my hair so I don't get confused for my sister.
Nikki: I never get confused for my sister. Mostly because I'm twice her size.
Jennifer: Dye it--
Nikki: Diet?
Jennifer: --red.
Allyson: Guys, it sounds and feels like there's a thunderstorm in my stomach.
Jennifer: Oooh! I want to hear it!
Katie: Is there lightning too?
Nikki: Katie, I don't understand you sometimes. I wish I were you sometimes.
Church member: Where's your baby?
New Father: We took her back.
College student: Did you get your money back?
New Father: No, you always lose money on those kinds of things.
Nikki: I'd like to make an announcement: It's the day before Tuesday. It's Monday.
Katie: What does it say?
Stephen: Avada Kedavra.
Sara: You just killed Katie Ax!
Katie: AHHH! That's ok. God gave me new life.
Katie: Better [dropping a computer] on a glass table than on my head.
Amy: Make origami.
Katie: I don't know how to make any origami that's pretty.
Jennifer: Like me.
Katie: If I knew origami, I would make a pretty you. Or if I were your parents.
Jennifer, Amy: What did you say?
Katie: I said what you thought I said.
Amy: You said, 'your pants?'
Denaj: Jesus is a great editor.
Matt: God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.
Katie: I'm donating blood tomorrow.
Andy: Are you going to let me start your IV?
Katie: Are you going to be there?
Andy: No.
Katie: Then no.
Andy: Do you have good veins?
Katie [rolling up my sleeve to look]: Yes?
Andy: I could hit them with a needle from across the room. Yes!
Jennifer: I want to say something funny so you will write it in your nerdy notebook.
Nikki, Katie: That doesn't count.
David: Slim pickins.
Heather: Good thing God doesn't say that about us!
Rob: God will move mountains if we're willing to put in the shovel.
Jonathan Martin: If you ask for the fire of God to fall down, just be prepared because you never know what you're going to get.
Katie: ... yogurt out the wazoo.
Nikki: Ew! I don't eat yogurt from the wazoo.
Jennifer: What's a wazoo?
Nikki: I think it's some secret anatomical place.
Katie: Ask Andy.
Jennifer: He would know: he's a wa who lives in a zoo.
Jonathan Martin: What have you done today without expecting anything in return?
Jennifer: Katie, you're lamo kablamo. Put on your wrinkle shirt and lick a bone!
Katie: I'm going to go to my room. People like me there.
Nikki: Katie, there's no one in there.
Katie: Your point?
Katie: It smells like campfire in here.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm straightening my hair.
Katie: Did you do anything fun today?
Andy: No, I didn't [because] I didn't work today. BUT! I did sign up for some EMS hours.
Nikki: Vulnerability and transparency. They're yucky and they're good. They're like vegetables.
By the way, I gave in and am now on Twitter (@KatieAx3), so you can follow our suite bantering in real-time and see quotes that inspire me throughout the day.
Happy Wednesday! I pray no one is drowning in the Snowpocalypse.
<>< Katie
Jennifer: Really? Getting more mature, too?
Katie: Is it going to graduate high school?
Andy: Katie, go home.
Katie: I am home. You can leave.
Nikki: The way Katie plays with hair stresses me out.
Nikki: NO PDA!
Elizabeth: That wasn't PDA! He blew a raspberry on my cheek! There's no affection!
Katie: Nikki, I find it really easy to appreciate you when I don't see you.
Katie [voice]: Andy, if you're in the bathroom for more than five minutes, I'm calling 911.
[Five minutes later]
Katie [text]: It's been five minutes. I'm calling 911.
Andy [text]: I am 911!
Katie [voice]: ANDY!
Andy [voice... from the bathroom]: What?
Katie: This boy's been in my bathroom for more than five minutes.
Katie: You guys can come to my wedding, but it won't be dry.
Jennifer: Then I'm bringing a poncho.
Matt: Missions is praying, giving, and going. If you're not a missionary, you're a mission field.
Nikki: Half the things they talk about in that song we don't do on campus. ["Cheats" by Carrie Underwood]
Katie: Break into cars. Slash tires.
Andy: Listen to country music.
Amber: Is it weird that I don't like being complemented on my interpreting because I don't want to interpret?
Katie: No. It's like me being complemented on my poetry.
Elizabeth: Katie, while you're just standing there, would you make some chocolate chip cookies please? [We don't have an oven]
Elizabeth: Why can't we just defrost the dough in the oven?
Nikki: Because the oven is not a defroster.
Elizabeth: Then put them in the microwave.
Amy: This IS college! I'll call my mom. Mom, this is an emergency! Do we have to thaw the cookie dough before we make them? The directions say to thaw completely but we want cookies NOW!
Katie: I color my hair so I don't get confused for my sister.
Nikki: I never get confused for my sister. Mostly because I'm twice her size.
Jennifer: Dye it--
Nikki: Diet?
Jennifer: --red.
Allyson: Guys, it sounds and feels like there's a thunderstorm in my stomach.
Jennifer: Oooh! I want to hear it!
Katie: Is there lightning too?
Nikki: Katie, I don't understand you sometimes. I wish I were you sometimes.
Church member: Where's your baby?
New Father: We took her back.
College student: Did you get your money back?
New Father: No, you always lose money on those kinds of things.
Nikki: I'd like to make an announcement: It's the day before Tuesday. It's Monday.
Katie: What does it say?
Stephen: Avada Kedavra.
Sara: You just killed Katie Ax!
Katie: AHHH! That's ok. God gave me new life.
Katie: Better [dropping a computer] on a glass table than on my head.
Amy: Make origami.
Katie: I don't know how to make any origami that's pretty.
Jennifer: Like me.
Katie: If I knew origami, I would make a pretty you. Or if I were your parents.
Jennifer, Amy: What did you say?
Katie: I said what you thought I said.
Amy: You said, 'your pants?'
Denaj: Jesus is a great editor.
Matt: God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.
Katie: I'm donating blood tomorrow.
Andy: Are you going to let me start your IV?
Katie: Are you going to be there?
Andy: No.
Katie: Then no.
Andy: Do you have good veins?
Katie [rolling up my sleeve to look]: Yes?
Andy: I could hit them with a needle from across the room. Yes!
Jennifer: I want to say something funny so you will write it in your nerdy notebook.
Nikki, Katie: That doesn't count.
David: Slim pickins.
Heather: Good thing God doesn't say that about us!
Rob: God will move mountains if we're willing to put in the shovel.
Jonathan Martin: If you ask for the fire of God to fall down, just be prepared because you never know what you're going to get.
Katie: ... yogurt out the wazoo.
Nikki: Ew! I don't eat yogurt from the wazoo.
Jennifer: What's a wazoo?
Nikki: I think it's some secret anatomical place.
Katie: Ask Andy.
Jennifer: He would know: he's a wa who lives in a zoo.
Jonathan Martin: What have you done today without expecting anything in return?
Jennifer: Katie, you're lamo kablamo. Put on your wrinkle shirt and lick a bone!
Katie: I'm going to go to my room. People like me there.
Nikki: Katie, there's no one in there.
Katie: Your point?
Katie: It smells like campfire in here.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm straightening my hair.
Katie: Did you do anything fun today?
Andy: No, I didn't [because] I didn't work today. BUT! I did sign up for some EMS hours.
Nikki: Vulnerability and transparency. They're yucky and they're good. They're like vegetables.
By the way, I gave in and am now on Twitter (@KatieAx3), so you can follow our suite bantering in real-time and see quotes that inspire me throughout the day.
Happy Wednesday! I pray no one is drowning in the Snowpocalypse.
<>< Katie
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