Manna

"May there always be manna and a promise for tomorrow," Chris prayed over me. He went on to ask the Lord to provide for me and for me to never know want.

There are so many things I want. A job that pays bills. Assurance that I won't go hungry. Fulfillment of God's promise for hope and a future. Manna.

Manna. It's what God provided for the Israelites during their forty years prior to entering the Promised Land, the land flowing of milk and honey. (See Exodus 16)

Each morning the dew became bread, manna, and each family collected what they needed. Those who collected a lot, did not have surplus and those who collected little did not run out.

It was always enough, exactly enough. If they tried to collect more than they needed, it spoiled overnight. Each and every day, God provided bread.

I began to pray for manna myself.

On Friday there was a campus-wide communion service. Even though I'm not a student, I looked forward to communing with my family. Afterwards, Anna approached me.

"I want you to have this," she said putting the left over bread in my hands.

Manna. Bread.

What she didn't know was that I'd been praying for manna but also that I had forgotten to buy bread when I went grocery shopping. God provided.

That night, Hank (my roommate's cat) got into our pantry. In the nick of time I stopped him from tearing open the bag and into my precious manna. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing what God had provided was once again safe.

God: Katie, what if he had eaten your bread? Would I not have provided again tomorrow? Did I ever fail to provide for the Israelites? They spent forty years in the desert; you've not been in the desert that long and already you've forgotten that I can and will provide for you, My child.

Ouch.

For forty-years the Israelites wandered as a result of their own disobedience and lack of trust. Yet each day the Lord led them with a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night.

They couldn't see very far. But they could see far enough.

Thus is my life right now. I can't see very far ahead. But I can see far enough.

I can see that God is providing manna, enough for today.

"So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." - Jesus, (Matthew 6:34 NLT)

The Israelites kept one allotment of manna to show future generations as a reminder of God's faithfulness even in the desert. I guess that's why I keep a blog: as a reminder of God's faithfulness in the valleys and on the mountain tops, His journey along with me day by day and night by night.

Lord, give us manna, enough for today. May we learn to realize that even though we cannot see very far ahead, tomorrow is not promised. Today is the most important day of our lives and You are with us today, right now. You are providing for us even when we cannot see Your hand, even when it doesn't look like we expect. Teach us to be content in the promise that You are here, wherever here is. May the only want we ever know be the want, the desire, the yearning to know You more.

Manna. It's the little reminders that God is enough for today.

<>< Katie

Communion

I was a little frazzled as I headed towards the front of church for communion. Our self-guided section turned into a mob rather than a line. By the time we half-organized ourselves, I was ready for body, blood, seat.  That fast.

I stepped to the front, held my hands out for the wafer, and looked up into the face of our senior pastor.  Pastor Mike stopped and looked back at me.

"They're letting everybody in today!"  He teased.

It's a joke I've heard many times over the last few years, but it still catches me off-guard every time.  I chuckle but my first thought is always, "This is a church; we should be letting everybody in."

To be confronted with this joke at the communion table helped me remember that I am not worthy to even be let in the door much less invited to approach the table of grace or enjoy the sweet taste of forgiveness.  This isn't a weekly ritual we do even when the lines turn into mobs... it's a beautiful gift purchased by the ultimate sacrifice.

Pastor Mike placed the wafer in my hand.  "Body of our Lord," he said.

In my hands I clutched the tangible reminder of that gift, that forgiveness, that perfect love that I am not worthy of.  The body of Christ given for me.  The body of our Lord--Pastor Mike's and mine.  We may not always agree yet share a common goal: to serve and honor Him.  Along with Christians worldwide, we share hope, faith, and forgiveness through Christ.  He's our Lord.

"It's good to see you," he said, smacking me playfully in the arm.

I was out of town for the entire month of October.  He noticed.  Thousands of members and he noticed my absence.  Billions of people on earth yet when we haven't spent quality time with the Lord, He notices.  Billions of people on earth and when we sit at His feet, He's glad to see us.

I ate the bread, drank the wine, and got lost on my way back to my seat.  Both literally among the sea of people and pews but also figuratively in the beauty of that moment I shared with the Lord.

Thankful for grace,
<>< Katie

Sadness and Joy

A large group gathered together in a dark upper room. The door locked out of fear. No one had bothered to light the lamp. No one wanted to speak. Complete darkness. It was not only a physical surrounding but also an emotional feeling.

Their best friend, their leader... was dead. Three years earlier they'd given up everything to follow Him.  This is not what they had expected.

Not even a week earlier He'd been celebrated. He was welcomed as a king. Not forty-eight hours previous they'd enjoyed a meal together. Now He was gone. Everything happened so quickly.

The room was filled with a myriad of emotions: hurt, regret, failure, longing, desperation, depression, darkness, confusion, loneliness, loss... the list goes on. Yet the most prevalent had to be hopelessness.

"How could this have happened?"

"I really didn't see this coming. Did He?"

"Now what?"

"Where do we go from here?"

The incessant number of unanswerable questions plagued them as they sat, paced, and cried.

Silence in a crowd. Darkness in the middle of the day. Loneliness among great friends.

"Peace be with you." A voice rudely interrupts their pensiveness. Who would offer peace on such a dreary day?

Only the One who can bring light into their darkness.  Only the One who brings hope to the hopeless.  Only the One who was dead but lives again!

Can you imagine the relief of the disciples?  Can you imagine the pure joy?

Place yourself in the upper room with the disciples.  Kneel before Jesus.

Notice the holes in his feet.  Touch the wound in His side.  When His nail-scarred hand slides under your chin and lifts gently, don't be ashamed. When your teary eyes meet His compassionate ones, don't look away. Think about all of the power those eyes hold, but now their focus is on you.

"I love you."

Accept the warm embrace from the living Savior and never, ever let go.

Healed By His Wounds

Last week I got unjustifiably angry at my close friend "Keely."  It was silly really.  It all boiled down to me being jealous... and hurt.

Something happened in the living room and instead of addressing it like an adult, I pouted in my room and text-vented to Amber.  I got so worked up that I was crying.  Silently.  Even in the same room, my roommate was unaware that I was having one of the most intense text conversations of my life.

For the next several days I held a grudge against Keely.  That's when the suitemates began to notice. 
"You've been extra sensitive lately, Katie."
"Katie and Keely have to sit on opposite sides of the room because they might rip off each others' head."

The two of us agreed to tone down our playful sassing for awhile and make sure we're showing love.  Through carefully planned words (and some not-so-carefully planned ones) I acknowledged why I had been so sensitive.  When it all boiled down to it, my anger had nothing to do with Keely.  Yet she had been the recipient of my frustration, jealousy, and anger.

She accepted my apology, which she said was unnecessary.  She hadn't considered my feelings about the situation.  We both decided to be more careful and move forward.

I got to take communion this week (a rare event in Baptist Country).  In confessing my sin to my Lord, the first situation that popped into my head was the situation with Keely.  I again asked for forgiveness and for those hurt feelings to be removed.  I wanted to be healed of the whole situation.

I almost cried again when Keely served me the bread.
"Body of Christ, given for you."

Forgiveness.  Given to me. 

"But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5 (emphasis mine)

Be healed in His wounds today, friends.
 
<>< Katie

"The Shortest Day Came..."

Melsa's been pestering me to update my blog with something more cheerful... so I've been trying to come up with something good... yet everything has been random stories (surprise surprise) with no real focus)... How about some random thoughts instead? Think, think, think...

Today's date is a palindrome and that makes me smile.

Today is also the shortest day. "The shortest day came..." and what's that speech about darkness that I've only heard nine times?

I had communion today for the first time since August 10th. And it was good. Actually, that's a lie. I had communion over Thanksgiving, but I only got a half a wafer ("Worship here on a regular basis and we'll give you the whole wafer" - Pastor Russ)

Last week I made up my offering envelope and left it in the cover of my Bible in the car. So I turned it in this week, crossed off the date, and wrote "oops". haha

I drove on the freeway today. Longer than just one exit, thank you. I'd like to once again point out: just because I choose not to drive on the freeway does not mean I can't, haven't, and won't.

It's is COLD! The hockey arena was actually considered warm considered to outside... Just because my mom (sorta) looks like Sarah Palin does NOT mean our weather must replicate that of Alaska...

I was on the jumbotron dancing to "Cotton Eyed Joe"... last time I was on the jumbotron I was wearing a Mrs. Potato Head Costume (and it wasn't Halloween...) My family failed at getting a picture yet again...

I got my glasses fixed the other day, but now the lens is warped... meaning I have to go the mall again tomorrow... two days before Christmas... because they didn't fix them properly the first time... (and this injury to the glasses was NOT my fault, haha)

Spiritual connection, oh yeah...

"Imagine the Creator of the Universe shoving Himself into a baby's body." - PT
"Every snowflake is different, yet look at what they can do together." - P Ras

In Christ,
<>< Katie

And They Say Southerners are Hospitable!

Since it's a holiday weekend there are no youth events at church this week. Mom and I went to the early service (for the first time in my life!), went to Starbucks, then came home and went to a local church. I must admit it was a bit strange to be double-dipping on church. It's as if saying the first sermon wasn't enough, I need a second one (but actually, the first sermon was more applicable). The weirdest part was taking communion twice in one day, especially considering how often I take communion throughout the rest of the year. When I though about it: I had sinned since the first time I took it today. I was aggravated with the driver who cut me off. I was snippy with the cashier who couldn't get my order right. I was frustrated with my sisters. My emotions were all out of whack. :-) But, this isn't a confessional.

Our church and this local church are merging in the near future, and we wanted to see what this church was like. The pastor started the service announcing there were more visitors than members among the 35 congregants present today. Wow! Later during the prayer, he prayed for Pastor Mike by name. Prayed for Pastor Mike's leadership, wisdom, and Godly obedience... Now that's not something we hear everyday. Our prayers for Pastor Mike are usually more jokes: prayers for safe travel and thanks that he's gone... It made me think of Bob's lesson last week at youth group about encouraging each other. Even though jokes and playful teasing can be good and funny, we need to show just as much love.

After church, we were talking to a woman we know from the area. She was so excited to see us because it's been awhile and asked us what brought us to church. We explained what church we were from and suddenly there were a plethora of people around us.

"You're from there?! We've seen your beautiful facilities! Are you a part of this ministry? When does this pastor preach next because we've never heard him? We love everything your church is doing! We're so excited for the merger!"

To put it lightly, they were ecstatic! They are anxiously awaiting this merger to come to fruition. It's so exciting to see God working from the other side. Any reservations I had about the merger before have now been eliminated. Even though I'm not always keen on some of the things my church does and some of their choices, this is a good choice.

Learning to see the other side of the story,
<>< Katie

PS. I know it was not ironic that the pastor preached on Isaiah and read the benediction from Ephesians. :-)

"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me. " Isaiah 49:16