I found this amusing today, and I think y'all will enjoy it, too. :-)
There are some people you recognize but don't know their names, some people you know by name only, some people you know a little bit about, and some people whose heart and soul you know. My friend Annie is one of those people that knows me really well. She and I were in the same small group freshman year, and our whole group bonded really well. We had no problem sharing our inner-most thoughts, fears, concerns, prayer requests... We were always really open with each other, and even know, we know there are eight other girls on campus (ok, seven, the brilliant one graduated already) who are willing to be shoulders on which to cry, etc.
I asked my friend Annie to give me a ride to church today, and she willingly agreed. After church we stopped at Wal-mart and on the way home we raced to make it back to campus before the caf closed (we made it with three minutes, thank you very much... and this time Annie didn't run any stop signs and only sped up to barely make it through one yellow light. haha).
At Wal-mart, Annie asked me a question, thinking it was about my major. I was able to answer her question but it stirred a conversation about my major.
In the car on the way back to campus, we were comparing the new church we visited with our home churches. I made some comment about one of my pastors and she looked at me (yes, while driving...) and said, "Wait, I thought your dad was a pastor." Nope. The closest we will ever get to seeing my dad in pastoral garb is... my dad in a toga. :-)
I then said something about a large ministry I was involved in, and she was shocked I didn't know everyone. I told her that was pretty much impossible in a church our size and she thought I was playing a practical joke on her.
She said, "I really thought your dad was the pastor of a church of about 200 or 300 people." Definitely not. Anyone who knows my dad and my church, is probably pretty much rolling on the floor laughing. :-) I told my dad about this and he felt sorry for the 200-300 people he was leading and promsied to buy them all a beer. I love my dad and I love my church but he's definitely not the pastor and it's definitely not only 200-300 people.
How many people do you think you know only to learn you really don't know them as well as you thought you did? How many people have misconceptions about who you are? Are you judging without really knowing? Have you been misinformed about the situation? Do you need discernment? At the same time, are you living under a facade and not allowing people to see your true self?
I should add, I think no less of Annie after this interaction. I see where her misconceptions came from and it's an understandable mistake. I love that she was strong enough to admit she was wrong. :-) I think she and I need to hang out more. Although, now I am kind of curious what other thoughts people have about me (they all already think "Ax" is my last name... and I had a professor ask if I was nondenominational...)
In Christ,
<>< Katie
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Is Your God Big Enough?
I will admit: I have a very hard time keeping a beat. It's been a major downfall in my participation in all things music. I was not born to be a drummer and the rest of the orchestra is thankful for that. At least temporarily, I have given up on playing musical instruments and have resolved myself to partaking in a sign choir.
Basically our amazing Queen Emily (the director) translates songs into American Sign Language, teaches them to us, and we perform them. We've done songs like "God is God" by Steven Curtis Chapman, "Praise You In The Storm" by Casting Crowns, and "My Savior, My God" by Aaron Shust. Right now we're working on "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath.
There is a nice musical interlude in the middle of the song during which we keep signing. We sign about getting rid of our view of the world and changing our eyes so we see what God sees. Well, every time we signed this part, I seemed to be a beat ahead of the group. I don't know how it happened, but it did. It always does. I finally figured out I wasn't signing "God" big enough. My God wasn't big enough.
Which led me to thinking: how often to we think our God is too small? How often do we not give Him the benefit of the doubt. Instead of knowing He can do something but has chosen not to, we prefer to think He can't do something.
The ASL sign for God is a flat hand that starts at your waist, travels up above your head, and comes back down in front of your face. Apparently it looks like a reverse candy cane (sometimes I don't quite understand Queen Emily's explanations...). When I signed it, I wasn't signing it high enough in the air, hence becoming a beat ahead of the group. My God wasn't high enough.
Do we lower God to human standards? Do we personify God? He's so much higher and more almighty than we can ever imagine. Why are we making Him low as if we should fit Him into a box. He's the omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient God. His ways are not our ways. That's probably a good thing to remember.
In Christ,
<>< Katie
"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; He does great things beyond our understanding." Job 37:5
Basically our amazing Queen Emily (the director) translates songs into American Sign Language, teaches them to us, and we perform them. We've done songs like "God is God" by Steven Curtis Chapman, "Praise You In The Storm" by Casting Crowns, and "My Savior, My God" by Aaron Shust. Right now we're working on "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath.
There is a nice musical interlude in the middle of the song during which we keep signing. We sign about getting rid of our view of the world and changing our eyes so we see what God sees. Well, every time we signed this part, I seemed to be a beat ahead of the group. I don't know how it happened, but it did. It always does. I finally figured out I wasn't signing "God" big enough. My God wasn't big enough.
Which led me to thinking: how often to we think our God is too small? How often do we not give Him the benefit of the doubt. Instead of knowing He can do something but has chosen not to, we prefer to think He can't do something.
The ASL sign for God is a flat hand that starts at your waist, travels up above your head, and comes back down in front of your face. Apparently it looks like a reverse candy cane (sometimes I don't quite understand Queen Emily's explanations...). When I signed it, I wasn't signing it high enough in the air, hence becoming a beat ahead of the group. My God wasn't high enough.
Do we lower God to human standards? Do we personify God? He's so much higher and more almighty than we can ever imagine. Why are we making Him low as if we should fit Him into a box. He's the omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient God. His ways are not our ways. That's probably a good thing to remember.
In Christ,
<>< Katie
"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; He does great things beyond our understanding." Job 37:5
Monday, August 25, 2008
"Pick up the Phone, Dummy!"
My grandpa loves to stand on top of something (tree stump, dock, chair, etc.), point his hands in the air, and yell, "For my next dive!" He then pretends he's diving in. Well, my glasses wanted to try that yesterday, but they missed the pretend part. That's right, they sky dived (sky dove?) off my shelf and onto the ground about six-feet below. The first clank told me they hit the floor. It was the second clank that worried me. In the morning, I had to put in my contacts to find my glasses. How funny is that? As it turns out, one of the lenses popped out, but I was able to get it back in! Yay!
This encounter made me think of another famous Grandpa quote. Last summer, my mom called my grandparents, but for some reason the phone wasn't connecting. My family is very prone to phone issues. We've had phone issues ever since my parents went on their honeymoon and a friend had their phone cancelled as a prank... haha
Anyway, this conversation between my grandpa and my mom was your typical:
"Hello? HELLO?! Is anyone there? HELLO?!" Meanwhile, my mom is on the other end screaming that she can hear him, she's really there... but it's not going through. Finally he just got so fed up, he said, "PICK UP THE PHONE, YOU BIG DUMMY!" He then hung up on her.
Obviously he had no idea it was my mom calling and thought she was a telemarketer. Just goes to show you never know the full story. You never know what kind of day someone else has had. Before getting snippy or rude with them, remember maybe today is the day where everything in their life has gone wrong. Even though you weren't being very loud while video chatting in the middle of the afternoon, the neighbors were having a rough day and took it out on you. You never really know what's going on unless you ask (and even then you only know as much as they are willing to tell).
In Christ,
<>< Katie
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. " John 13: 34
This encounter made me think of another famous Grandpa quote. Last summer, my mom called my grandparents, but for some reason the phone wasn't connecting. My family is very prone to phone issues. We've had phone issues ever since my parents went on their honeymoon and a friend had their phone cancelled as a prank... haha
Anyway, this conversation between my grandpa and my mom was your typical:
"Hello? HELLO?! Is anyone there? HELLO?!" Meanwhile, my mom is on the other end screaming that she can hear him, she's really there... but it's not going through. Finally he just got so fed up, he said, "PICK UP THE PHONE, YOU BIG DUMMY!" He then hung up on her.
Obviously he had no idea it was my mom calling and thought she was a telemarketer. Just goes to show you never know the full story. You never know what kind of day someone else has had. Before getting snippy or rude with them, remember maybe today is the day where everything in their life has gone wrong. Even though you weren't being very loud while video chatting in the middle of the afternoon, the neighbors were having a rough day and took it out on you. You never really know what's going on unless you ask (and even then you only know as much as they are willing to tell).
In Christ,
<>< Katie
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. " John 13: 34
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Fully Restored
Fully Restored. That sounds like the title of a book. Nope, it's not; just googled it. Maybe someday it will be the title of a book. Can't you hear the big announcer dude going, "And now I present to you Fully Restored by Katie Ax?" Shhhhh, just let me dream big and don't remind me the big announcer dude does movies and sports... not so much books. :-)
Like many other college students, I live in a closet with a roommate. We have three outlets. One in the middle of the room that we share. It's fully with our clocks, bed lamps, fridge, microwave, etc. One on her side of the room that also has my stereo plugged in. At least for today. I'm thinking about moving it to my side of the room because it's kind of inconvenient. Even more inconvenient is the fact that my outlet up and fell off the wall. Just boom. Done. Dangling by two cords.
Fire hazard much? Yeah. We put in a work order for it twenty-four hours ago, and nothing has been done about it. I'm really quite frustrated because I have no tv, dvd player, printer, light, etc. Those things I can really live with out. But when my computer battery dies... or my cell phone? (Both of which died today, imagine that). I kind of feel like I'm living in ancient times over here without any power.
Did you fall off God's wall? Are you dangling by a few random strings? Guess what, He wants you to be fully restored. He's reaching out to you, calling for you, can you hear Him? Will you answer Him? Get plugged back in! (And be faster about it than maintenance is about our fire hazard).
After all, life without Christ is a fire hazard. Sure-fire way to the fire pits of hell. :-) (Ok, it's getting late. I really shouldn't blog late at night... instead I should sleep).
There's a church down the road that had written on their marquee: Eternal Fire Insurance. Available Free Inside". Or something like that.
Have a great night. Thanks for reading my ramblings... More deep thoughts coming soon... (Jesus is also coming soon... we'll see what happens first!)
<>< Katie
"They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." Matthew 13:42
Like many other college students, I live in a closet with a roommate. We have three outlets. One in the middle of the room that we share. It's fully with our clocks, bed lamps, fridge, microwave, etc. One on her side of the room that also has my stereo plugged in. At least for today. I'm thinking about moving it to my side of the room because it's kind of inconvenient. Even more inconvenient is the fact that my outlet up and fell off the wall. Just boom. Done. Dangling by two cords.
Fire hazard much? Yeah. We put in a work order for it twenty-four hours ago, and nothing has been done about it. I'm really quite frustrated because I have no tv, dvd player, printer, light, etc. Those things I can really live with out. But when my computer battery dies... or my cell phone? (Both of which died today, imagine that). I kind of feel like I'm living in ancient times over here without any power.
Did you fall off God's wall? Are you dangling by a few random strings? Guess what, He wants you to be fully restored. He's reaching out to you, calling for you, can you hear Him? Will you answer Him? Get plugged back in! (And be faster about it than maintenance is about our fire hazard).
After all, life without Christ is a fire hazard. Sure-fire way to the fire pits of hell. :-) (Ok, it's getting late. I really shouldn't blog late at night... instead I should sleep).
There's a church down the road that had written on their marquee: Eternal Fire Insurance. Available Free Inside". Or something like that.
Have a great night. Thanks for reading my ramblings... More deep thoughts coming soon... (Jesus is also coming soon... we'll see what happens first!)
<>< Katie
"They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." Matthew 13:42
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Dinner
I had a very interesting dinner today, and I feel the need to share. :-)
At 5 o'clock, I headed towards the caf out of habit. I stopped in Laura and Becky's room (aka my other room). Laura wasn't there, and Becky was headed to Chic-fil-a. I was going to join her, but then realized I had to be back for CMU stuff, so I didn't go. I wandered to the caf figuring I'd meet up with someone or find some lonely person eating alone. I walk in, and see no one that fits that description. I got a plate of pasta and sat down by myself. I seriously knew NO ONE in the caf and no one was sitting by themselves... I really tried to be outgoing and it failed miserably!
I ate my pasta by myself and got a cookie. Really sitting alone wasn't that bad because I am an introvert and recharge by being by myself, and I was by the door so I got to greet people as they came in. I ate my cookie by myself and got a salad. I was a good majority of the way through my salad when my friend Xan came in and chewed me out for eating by myself. I told her I was almost done and it wasn't a big deal. Then my friend Annie came in a yelled at me for eating by myself. I told her I wasn't eating by myself, I was watching Monk, the news, and ESPN simultaneously. Then my friend Lauren came over and we chatting for awhile.
I had literally two bites left of my salad and Annie came back and forced me to her table. So I finished my salad, put my dishes up, and sat down with Annie and her friends. Annie was telling some story about how a church leader came up to her at the club fair today and invited her to his church. He asked her if she'd ever considered going to church which is really funny because Annie has Bible verses all over her dorm room and we met in small group last year. She finished the story and realized she hadn't prayed. She asked each of us individually if we'd already prayed and we all said yes. I told her I'd pray again with her. We teased around about who would pray and were just being silly. There was minimal praying getting done and my friend Tiffany walked up. I half-jokingly said, "Tiffany, will you pray with us?" She said sure and prayed for us. Then she walked away and Annie was like, "I really don't even know who that was."
I love Christ, sometimes the people He throws at me are just so amazing! The fact that some random person can just jump up and pray at dinner cracks me up!
In Christ,
<>< Katie
At 5 o'clock, I headed towards the caf out of habit. I stopped in Laura and Becky's room (aka my other room). Laura wasn't there, and Becky was headed to Chic-fil-a. I was going to join her, but then realized I had to be back for CMU stuff, so I didn't go. I wandered to the caf figuring I'd meet up with someone or find some lonely person eating alone. I walk in, and see no one that fits that description. I got a plate of pasta and sat down by myself. I seriously knew NO ONE in the caf and no one was sitting by themselves... I really tried to be outgoing and it failed miserably!
I ate my pasta by myself and got a cookie. Really sitting alone wasn't that bad because I am an introvert and recharge by being by myself, and I was by the door so I got to greet people as they came in. I ate my cookie by myself and got a salad. I was a good majority of the way through my salad when my friend Xan came in and chewed me out for eating by myself. I told her I was almost done and it wasn't a big deal. Then my friend Annie came in a yelled at me for eating by myself. I told her I wasn't eating by myself, I was watching Monk, the news, and ESPN simultaneously. Then my friend Lauren came over and we chatting for awhile.
I had literally two bites left of my salad and Annie came back and forced me to her table. So I finished my salad, put my dishes up, and sat down with Annie and her friends. Annie was telling some story about how a church leader came up to her at the club fair today and invited her to his church. He asked her if she'd ever considered going to church which is really funny because Annie has Bible verses all over her dorm room and we met in small group last year. She finished the story and realized she hadn't prayed. She asked each of us individually if we'd already prayed and we all said yes. I told her I'd pray again with her. We teased around about who would pray and were just being silly. There was minimal praying getting done and my friend Tiffany walked up. I half-jokingly said, "Tiffany, will you pray with us?" She said sure and prayed for us. Then she walked away and Annie was like, "I really don't even know who that was."
I love Christ, sometimes the people He throws at me are just so amazing! The fact that some random person can just jump up and pray at dinner cracks me up!
In Christ,
<>< Katie
Thank for the Noise
Yesterday was my first day to sleep in since the 9th and I took a full opportunity to do it! It would have worked a whole lot better if it weren't move-in day for returning students. Yeah, the brilliant architects who made this building forgot about insulation. I'm not kidding. There are some bullet-sized holes in the wall where we can literally see through into our neighbors' room. So, yesterday I awoke to the banging of desks against the wall, the slamming of drawers, and the building of bunk beds. What a perfect way to start the day. :-)
As luck would have it, I ended the day in the exact same fashion. As I lay there in bed praying midnight would come and visitation hours would end for their male friends with big booming voices would be forced to return home, the air conditioner turned on. That was all God needed to do to get my attention.
You see, my friend Kaitlyn (who I blogged about a few weeks ago) is so sensitive that she can't tolerate ANY noise. The noise of the air conditioner is too loud.
Thank You, God, that I can tolerate a certain level of noise.
Thank You God for the ability to hear.
Even if I'm unintentionally eves dropping.
Take a minute and thank God for those things you often overlook or become annoyed with. The gurgling fridge. The ability to smell, even if it is the garbage. The ability to see, even if you see more than you want to. The ability to touch, too bad you got your fingers stuck together with glue. The ability to talk, even when those crude four-letter words slip out.
<>< Katie
"Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18
As luck would have it, I ended the day in the exact same fashion. As I lay there in bed praying midnight would come and visitation hours would end for their male friends with big booming voices would be forced to return home, the air conditioner turned on. That was all God needed to do to get my attention.
You see, my friend Kaitlyn (who I blogged about a few weeks ago) is so sensitive that she can't tolerate ANY noise. The noise of the air conditioner is too loud.
Thank You, God, that I can tolerate a certain level of noise.
Thank You God for the ability to hear.
Even if I'm unintentionally eves dropping.
Take a minute and thank God for those things you often overlook or become annoyed with. The gurgling fridge. The ability to smell, even if it is the garbage. The ability to see, even if you see more than you want to. The ability to touch, too bad you got your fingers stuck together with glue. The ability to talk, even when those crude four-letter words slip out.
<>< Katie
"Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18
Saturday, August 16, 2008
It's not about me
A few days ago I wrote about the song "How Great is Our God" and how whenever we sing it at church it makes my heart smile. Today we had an outdoor student-led worship event and (since it's a popular song) we sang "How Great is Our God." When I read the song list and saw it on there I had mixed feelings. It makes me happy to sing it but I feel like it's my "home church song" and shouldn't be sung elsewhere.
Eventually we got to "How Great is Our God" and the leader put it in a key right out of my range. Some songs I sing high, some songs I sing low. I prefer to sing high, but I can do both but I can't do the middle. Don't ask me to explain it any better than that because I can't. I know I have the approximate range of the treble clef, but somehow I seem to have this gray-area problem. I don't know but it's annoying.
Anyway, so I was really struggling through "How Great is Our God" and I felt so bad for the people sitting around me because of course I didn't think to sing quietly. Quiet? What's that? I'm singing for God, and He doesn't care.
CLICK! I light bulb in my brain went off as if God said,
"Katie, this isn't about you. It's about Me. I don't care how, where, or when you sing I just care what you're singing about. Why are you trying to please everyone else? Remember why you're singing."
We moved on to the next song and this one I could actually sing. I was sitting on the cement hugging my knees with my eyes closed. All of the sudden I heard this noise next to me and realized everyone in front of me and on my right was standing. Of course, as an instant reaction, I stood up as well. As soon as I hit full height I regreted it. God didn't need a real tree branch to whack me upside the head. There He was again,
"Why does it matter what they're doing? You said you didn't want to be influenced by others. Why are you standing? You're standing because they're standing. I thought you didn't care what others thought of you? Don't be shaped by this world; be your own person. Katie, I created you to be different. You aren't going to blend in with those around you no matter how hard you try. Stop trying and let Me do My work."
Ouch.
In Christ,
<>< Katie
"I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills His purpose for me. " Psalm 57:2
Eventually we got to "How Great is Our God" and the leader put it in a key right out of my range. Some songs I sing high, some songs I sing low. I prefer to sing high, but I can do both but I can't do the middle. Don't ask me to explain it any better than that because I can't. I know I have the approximate range of the treble clef, but somehow I seem to have this gray-area problem. I don't know but it's annoying.
Anyway, so I was really struggling through "How Great is Our God" and I felt so bad for the people sitting around me because of course I didn't think to sing quietly. Quiet? What's that? I'm singing for God, and He doesn't care.
CLICK! I light bulb in my brain went off as if God said,
"Katie, this isn't about you. It's about Me. I don't care how, where, or when you sing I just care what you're singing about. Why are you trying to please everyone else? Remember why you're singing."
We moved on to the next song and this one I could actually sing. I was sitting on the cement hugging my knees with my eyes closed. All of the sudden I heard this noise next to me and realized everyone in front of me and on my right was standing. Of course, as an instant reaction, I stood up as well. As soon as I hit full height I regreted it. God didn't need a real tree branch to whack me upside the head. There He was again,
"Why does it matter what they're doing? You said you didn't want to be influenced by others. Why are you standing? You're standing because they're standing. I thought you didn't care what others thought of you? Don't be shaped by this world; be your own person. Katie, I created you to be different. You aren't going to blend in with those around you no matter how hard you try. Stop trying and let Me do My work."
Ouch.
In Christ,
<>< Katie
"I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills His purpose for me. " Psalm 57:2
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