Manna

"May there always be manna and a promise for tomorrow," Chris prayed over me. He went on to ask the Lord to provide for me and for me to never know want.

There are so many things I want. A job that pays bills. Assurance that I won't go hungry. Fulfillment of God's promise for hope and a future. Manna.

Manna. It's what God provided for the Israelites during their forty years prior to entering the Promised Land, the land flowing of milk and honey. (See Exodus 16)

Each morning the dew became bread, manna, and each family collected what they needed. Those who collected a lot, did not have surplus and those who collected little did not run out.

It was always enough, exactly enough. If they tried to collect more than they needed, it spoiled overnight. Each and every day, God provided bread.

I began to pray for manna myself.

On Friday there was a campus-wide communion service. Even though I'm not a student, I looked forward to communing with my family. Afterwards, Anna approached me.

"I want you to have this," she said putting the left over bread in my hands.

Manna. Bread.

What she didn't know was that I'd been praying for manna but also that I had forgotten to buy bread when I went grocery shopping. God provided.

That night, Hank (my roommate's cat) got into our pantry. In the nick of time I stopped him from tearing open the bag and into my precious manna. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing what God had provided was once again safe.

God: Katie, what if he had eaten your bread? Would I not have provided again tomorrow? Did I ever fail to provide for the Israelites? They spent forty years in the desert; you've not been in the desert that long and already you've forgotten that I can and will provide for you, My child.

Ouch.

For forty-years the Israelites wandered as a result of their own disobedience and lack of trust. Yet each day the Lord led them with a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night.

They couldn't see very far. But they could see far enough.

Thus is my life right now. I can't see very far ahead. But I can see far enough.

I can see that God is providing manna, enough for today.

"So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." - Jesus, (Matthew 6:34 NLT)

The Israelites kept one allotment of manna to show future generations as a reminder of God's faithfulness even in the desert. I guess that's why I keep a blog: as a reminder of God's faithfulness in the valleys and on the mountain tops, His journey along with me day by day and night by night.

Lord, give us manna, enough for today. May we learn to realize that even though we cannot see very far ahead, tomorrow is not promised. Today is the most important day of our lives and You are with us today, right now. You are providing for us even when we cannot see Your hand, even when it doesn't look like we expect. Teach us to be content in the promise that You are here, wherever here is. May the only want we ever know be the want, the desire, the yearning to know You more.

Manna. It's the little reminders that God is enough for today.

<>< Katie

Thankful

It's hard.

It's hard to be thankful when you don't know when your next paycheck is coming (or from where). It's hard to be thankful when your best friends are 900 miles away. It's hard to be thankful when your office is the most central location of your parents' home, when your internal clock has no idea what time of the year it is, or when you don't have any idea what your calendar will look like even a month from now. It's hard to be thankful; it's easy to host a pity party.

Every once in awhile, I let the tears roll. They're good. They're healthy. But once they come, they're hard to stop.

Like Job, I speak bluntly and harshly to the Lord. While it's nice to get those feelings out on paper, it doesn't usually solve much. (Did I just say that out loud?) I still don't know what's next. I'm still playing pin the tail on the donkey.

And still even here, I have a lot to be thankful for. Did I not wake up this morning breathing and refreshed? When I rolled over and put my feet on the floor, did they not stay there and hold my weight? (No peanut gallery comments, please). Was there not toothpaste in the tube, toilet paper on the roll, and soap in the dispenser? Is there food in the pantry and hot water in the shower? Do I have a jacket, shoes, and gasoline?

Have I not people who love and care about me? People who encourage me and pour into me? Scripture tucked away in my heart? Is the Lord not in this limbo, this barren desert, this hideous time in between?

Life is hard. Yet still there is so much to be thankful for even if they're the small, simple things we tend to take for granted. Even if it's the tears and the angry words. Even if it's the promise, "I will be with you always to the very end of the age" (See Matthew 28).

Even if nothing else goes correctly, that one reason alone is enough to bring thanksgiving to my lips again and again.

<>< Katie