Manna

"May there always be manna and a promise for tomorrow," Chris prayed over me. He went on to ask the Lord to provide for me and for me to never know want.

There are so many things I want. A job that pays bills. Assurance that I won't go hungry. Fulfillment of God's promise for hope and a future. Manna.

Manna. It's what God provided for the Israelites during their forty years prior to entering the Promised Land, the land flowing of milk and honey. (See Exodus 16)

Each morning the dew became bread, manna, and each family collected what they needed. Those who collected a lot, did not have surplus and those who collected little did not run out.

It was always enough, exactly enough. If they tried to collect more than they needed, it spoiled overnight. Each and every day, God provided bread.

I began to pray for manna myself.

On Friday there was a campus-wide communion service. Even though I'm not a student, I looked forward to communing with my family. Afterwards, Anna approached me.

"I want you to have this," she said putting the left over bread in my hands.

Manna. Bread.

What she didn't know was that I'd been praying for manna but also that I had forgotten to buy bread when I went grocery shopping. God provided.

That night, Hank (my roommate's cat) got into our pantry. In the nick of time I stopped him from tearing open the bag and into my precious manna. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing what God had provided was once again safe.

God: Katie, what if he had eaten your bread? Would I not have provided again tomorrow? Did I ever fail to provide for the Israelites? They spent forty years in the desert; you've not been in the desert that long and already you've forgotten that I can and will provide for you, My child.

Ouch.

For forty-years the Israelites wandered as a result of their own disobedience and lack of trust. Yet each day the Lord led them with a pillar of cloud by day and fire by night.

They couldn't see very far. But they could see far enough.

Thus is my life right now. I can't see very far ahead. But I can see far enough.

I can see that God is providing manna, enough for today.

"So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." - Jesus, (Matthew 6:34 NLT)

The Israelites kept one allotment of manna to show future generations as a reminder of God's faithfulness even in the desert. I guess that's why I keep a blog: as a reminder of God's faithfulness in the valleys and on the mountain tops, His journey along with me day by day and night by night.

Lord, give us manna, enough for today. May we learn to realize that even though we cannot see very far ahead, tomorrow is not promised. Today is the most important day of our lives and You are with us today, right now. You are providing for us even when we cannot see Your hand, even when it doesn't look like we expect. Teach us to be content in the promise that You are here, wherever here is. May the only want we ever know be the want, the desire, the yearning to know You more.

Manna. It's the little reminders that God is enough for today.

<>< Katie

Why Not Today?

"You need a new phone."

I've been told that regularly for the last two years. They're right: I do need a new phone. When I started college the question was always, "Is that the new model?" Now that I've graduated, same phone in pocket, the question has become "When do you get an upgrade?"

They want me to make the leap into the twenty-first century and go from a dumb phone that only texts and calls to a smart phone that does everything except brush your teeth for you.

"With as much time as you spend on Facebook and Twitter, you're going to love it!"

That's what they all say. And they're probably right. I wish I could Tweet on the go, always had my email at my fingertips, and my text message inbox didn't remain at 98 percent full. The upgrade won't break my budget and the thirty dollars a month data plan is feasible.

Weeks of second-guessing and questioning led up to the moment when I signed the check. Knowing full well what I was doing, I handed it to Brent. He handed me a receipt.

Smile* was mine.

My check was not for thirty dollars. It was for thirty-eight. If I could feasibly pay thirty dollars a month just to have the internet with me wherever I went, how could I not spend thirty-eight dollars a month making sure a child had food?

For years I have been the primary letter writer for Maria, our family's sponsored child in Columbia. That means the misunderstanding about us having fourteen grandchildren... yeah, I'm culpable.

I knew someday I'd sponsor a child through Compassion. The question that ragged on my heart was: Why is that someday not today? I was out of excuses.

For a dollar and twenty-five cents a day, I can provide Smile with food. That's not even the cost of one cup of coffee. That's one small fries from McDonald's.

Let's be real: I don't have a lot of money. But I have enough. I'm not worrying about going hungry. Smile is.

Katie: God, why are you providing for me but not for Your children in third world countries? Is food not a necessity?
God: I am providing. Katie, I am providing you.

It's going to be a sacrifice. I want (borderline need) a new phone, but it's going to have to wait.

There's a little girl in El Salvador who needs an education. She needs medical care. She needs hope, esperanza. She needs to know someone cares. That someone is an unemployed hispanohablante in the US. That Someone is her Heavenly Father.

Why not today?
<>< Katie

*not her real name

PS: This is my story of how God led me to child sponsorship through Compassion. It might be reckless to commit to $38/month with no income. But I know the Lord and saw His hand in this decision long before I signed the check. I trust He will provide, and I've seen Him do so already. If that means I have to eat peanut butter and jelly for a week (I hate pbj) so Smile can eat rice and beans, so be it.

God: Interpreter, Provider

I didn't realize how much time Neal and I spent together in Nicaragua until I got home and started telling these stories.  I think this is the last one (for now).

On Thursday morning we drove to another middle-of-nowhere church where we were going to do a service at 10am.  The Nicaraguan pastors suggested we walk around town and invite people, especially children, to the service.  So we did exactly that.

We strategically split into two groups with our best Spanish-speaking students split up and our bilingual Nicaraguan pastors split up.  Manolo, the bilingual Nicaragua pastor in our group, told me he wasn't going to translate our invitations.  That was all my job.  Huh what?  Not fair!

I would have much preferred to hide in the back and not do any of the talking.  Manolo was going to make sure that didn't happen.

So towards the first house we walked.  Our team stayed in a crowd in the street, and Neal and I approached the front door.

"Buenas," he said.  "We're going to have a church service over there at ten o'clock if you'd be interested in joining us.  Especially children, we're going to have activities and games for them."

Yeah, I don't know those words.  But I translated the best I could.  Then Neal and I walked on to the next house, and Manolo talked to the people, probably clarifying what I said.

Neal tried to get the other people in our group to introduce the neighbors, but only a few did and still I did all of the translating.  Honestly, I didn't really think it fair that they got to hang out and talk while I did all of the work.

That's because it was awkward and very uncomfortable to walk up to a house and talk to strangers about church... in Spanish never the less!  Neal and I confessed to each other that it was out of our comfort zones.  But with every house, we admitted, it got easier.  Neal became comfortable with his spiel and thus I began to anticipate what he was going to say.  Of course, he threw me a curve ball now and again but the more houses we talked to, the less clarification Manolo gave afterwards.

 Of course, by now it was 10:05 and we were still inviting people to the service at 10:00... Nicaraguan time.

As we walked back to the church to prepare for the service, we talked about how the Holy Spirit interprets for us.  It communicates what we cannot.  That brought me so much peace.  Even with my befuddled Spanish, the Holy Spirit allowed to be heard what needed to be heard.

When we got back to the church, we were able to see the fruits of our labor.  Not at first, mind you, but slowly the church filled up.  Eventually, they dismissed the kids to go out back.

One... two... three... four... I stopped counting at 50.  Our final estimate was about 80.  All squished into an area the size of a dorm room. 

And again we had no plan.

We did a skit to stall for time.  Then Sara told the story of Jonah (and Annalisa, our best Spanish-speaker, interpreted).  Then we handed out Jonah coloring pages... until we ran out.

Then we handed out home safety coloring pages... until we ran out.

Then we handed out blank pieces of paper... until we ran out.  That time we ran out of kids asking for paper.

I manned the paper and crayons while our other team members scattered themselves among the masses.

Some of our girls set up in the corner of the backyard area and made Salvation Bracelets. 

We kept worrying about running out of beads, so we signaled for those incharge of the service to wrap it up.  They saw, "Keep going."

Five loaves, two fish, and a half-a-bag of beads we did not run out.  God is such a provider!  It's was awesome!

It was great to be on the bus leaving and see the children wave, each boasting a Salvation Bracelet on the wrist that matches mine.

I came home with some very important lessons learned:
1. Sometimes God asks us to do things that are uncomfortable.  But the more you do them, the more comfortable they become.
2. The Holy Spirit interprets and speaks when we cannot.  What needs to be said is said through no doing of our own.
3. The Lord provides.  It's as simple as that.

Thankful for Grace,
<>< Katie

For His Glory

I've been looking for God moments in my own life and I haven't been smacked in the face with any. However, I've recently heard three "Yay, God" stories. None of them are mine, but they give me goose bumps every time I tell them. Feel free to add your own!  God is good. <>< Katie

1. A female friend of mine attends a public university. She and one of her female friends were at a party in a dorm, when they needed some fresh air. The two of them stepped outside alone and were approached by two men. Naturally, these girls got nervous about the situation and began to pray for their safety. The men introduced themselves as Christians on campus who walk around and ask how to best pray for their classmates.

2. Another college student friend needed to go home for an event. She had intended to go home in the morning but made a spontaneous decision to travel home the night before instead. That night she went to bed around midnight; her grandfather was still up watching tv. At three in the morning, she woke up suddenly and could not fall back to sleep. She decided to get up to get a drink of water and noticed the living room light was still on. She went in and found her grandfather asleep on the floor. She woke up her mom and told her to tell him to go to bed. Grandpa was responsive but not really coherent, so they woke up Grandma. Grandma said that wasn't normal and at four in the morning they called 911. Grandpa had gone into diabetic shock and if God hadn't woken up my friend at 3am, her grandfather would have died.

3. Wife made "a big oops" regarding the family's finances. A bill hadn't been paid correctly and the correction ended up to be a huge sum of money that needed to be paid now. This left the family with less than $15 for a food budget to last a little over a week.  Husband said he would scrounge up whatever he could find for a week, not a big deal. Wife, on the other hand, is pregnant and therefore needed substantial food. He told her to keep eating normally, everything would turn out alright, God would take care of them. They had no idea how, but they stepped out on faith that He would provide. They didn't tell anyone about their hardship. That week, a woman came up to Husband while he was at work. She said, "You and your family have been such a blessing to me. I want to show my appreciation." She handed him a grocery bag. Inside were a dozen eggs, a jar of homemade jam, and a loaf of homemade bread.  God provided.

Lunch with a Stranger

It was a little after 1, and I had somewhere to be at 1:30 and lunch to eat first when I flew into the caf.  I got my food and had resolved myself to sit alone, something I actually enjoy doing periodically.  I still don't know how I saw her since she was behind me, around the corner, and hidden by the crowd, but I did.  She, too, was sitting alone.  I walked up and slid my tray onto the table.

"Can I sit here?"

She had food in her mouth but nodded, and I told her I'd be right back.  I dropped my bag, left my tray, and went to get my milk.  I came back, sat down, prayed the Common Table Prayer, and asked her name.  Marta.  I recognized it from working check-in that morning.  She was a transfer student; it was her first day on campus.  I asked how it was going.

As she talked, slowly the tears welled in her eyes.  They matched the ones I had been sporting earlier.  Sometime between my golf-cart ride to McDonalds with Megan after check-in and this lunch, I discovered the job I had last year was no longer available to me.  It was a complicated situation, and I was the victim of the system.  I was confused.  Upset.  Frustrated.  Livid.  I cried.  I called my dad.  I cried again.  I had a plan: talk to my boss, but I couldn't do that until I knew I was not going to melt in his office.

With a compassionate smile, I asked Marta how many times she had gotten lost that day.  Lots.  She'd lost her map.  She laughed.  I laughed.  She cried.  I cared.  By the end of lunch, I had gotten her two new maps.  Each had her apartment building circled, the building where her nursing classes would be circled, and a big huge "F" over the building where the food was.  What more does a person need, right?  I walked her to where she needed to go, and we said goodbye.

I visited my favorite coffee shop to email my hippy boss.  My internet's still spotty.  "We have a problem," the email said.  "When are you going to be in your office?"

Almost instantly he responded, "I'm here now; come on over."

I did.  When I walked in, he asked how I was.  I said I was cranky.  He didn't understand: worms were burrowing and he'd just gotten his iTouch to work after two years; how could I be cranky?  Then I told him what happened to my job.  He became distressed and no longer cared about the worms.  He called his boss who called her boss who promised to work on the mess for me.  The hippy told me it was just a matter of faith that the situation would work itself out.  It was weird.

At dinner, I saw Marta again.  I asked if the rest of her day had improved.  She said it had.  She even had a new friend!  I was so excited for her I "woooh-who-ed" right there in the middle of the caf.  I had intended to sit with them, but we got separated in the mob.

It's been four days since I've seen Marta.  My job situation has been rectified.  My boss's boss's boss, who has a big important title, made some phone calls, got me my job back, and earned himself a hand-written thank you card.  I can only hope Marta has memorized her maps, made more than one friend, and is enjoying herself.

I think we both needed each other at that lunch.  It was a simple exchange, a breach of the comfort zone, and a world gained.  God's way to remind us that He is Jehovah-Jirah, the Lord provider.

<>< Katie

Use Me

I think I over-estimated my number of readers... does anyone actually read these blogs?

Last week Monday, my friend Jessica was concerned about the lack volunteers for VBS. We all concurred that God would provide.

On Wednesday, I went out to lunch with a mutual friend Emily to discuss high school ministry and in the four parking stalls between her car and mine, she somehow convinced me to see if Jessica still needed help for VBS. I knew God would provide for Jessica, but I never expected that I would be the one He provided. In reality, God dropped people from the sky for her, and the fall didn't hurt. God and I had a good laugh all the way home.
"Use me," I said, "but obviously You don't need my permission to do that. Yet I still give it."

Well, a week later I have survived my first VBS ever! There are a plethora of children's songs running on shuffle in my head... where they have been for the last week. Yet the effects of VBS go a whole lot deeper than musical hallucinations.

Last night, I drove past a dead opossum on the road. I chuckled when I contemplated pulling over, putting my hand on it, and saying, "God gives up life!" (And I half expected a loud "Fear not!" to follow).

This afternoon, my VBS kids were running back towards church and I said, "Let's use our walking feet." Imagine my surprise when every single one of them slowed down and began to walk! I was still talking, and one of them turned around and said, "SHHH!!" to me! I forgot, walking feet go with quiet mouths and listening ears! It only took a week for them to learn and less time than that to forget, but it feels good to be shhh-ed by a four year old.

One of my VBS friends loved the firefly he made on Monday. Every day he asked if he could take it home, and everyday the answer was, "You may take it home on Friday." Everyday he told me, "This is my firefly. It reminds me that God is with us! FEAR NOT!" Some lessons do actually stick.

Max Lucado recommends taking a walk with a child every day to see life from their point of view. Well, every day this week I got to see God through the eyes of a four year old, and let me just tell you: He is good!

Learning to Listen,
<>< Katie