Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Wacky Wednesday

From Katie: The following is a collection of quotes and crazy conversations brought to my attention during the month of January. <>< Katie

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Taft: Wikipedia is blocked by HPPA.

Brett: I miss having hair. I used to have headaches when I had hair. Actually, I didn't. I never got headaches when I had hair but now I don't have hair and get headaches all of the time.

[Via text message]
Katie: We should catch up one of these days.
Kevin: We should catch up. Who is this?

Michael: This tastes like cocoa butter.
Stephen: Cocoa butter? That's for stretch marks!

Aunt Jett: Don't squeeze the cat. She might explode or something.

"Christianity can grow and flourish under some of the most difficult opposition, but it will prosper very little when people refuse to be changed by it." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 130

Lauren: I'm so not ready for a big girl job. I still get excited about foamy soap.

Mom: The wind must be coming from the west. The train sounds like a dead cow.
Christina: A dead cow, Mom? You realize that dead cows don't make any noises, right?
Mom: How many dead cows have you hung out with? They could make farting noises.

Brit: Decaf? Are you trying to stay awake? [Beat] Wait. I mean go to sleep?

Uncle Jack: [Hands in the air] I didn't do that! [Beat] Did I?
Mom: No, you didn't put the meese peep on the marinated rug.

Rebekah: You're such a good kitty when you're not being a bad kitty.

"If we're waiting for the needy to walk through our church doors, we may wait a long time. God doesn't wait for people to come to Him. He goes to them and desires to intervene right at the point of their need. He's looking for a few brave people, like the Apostle Paul, who are willing to go rather than wait for them to come. He's not looking for show-offs. He's looking for people through whom He can show off His Son. May we be some of those people." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 151

Danielle: You can't say "Indian style." It's offensive.
David: It's criss-cross apple sauce.
Casey: I'm allergic to applesauce. That offends me.

Aunt Jett [About her husband]: One of the best things about him is his ability to drive backwards.

Katie: Hank [the cat] let me pet him for a long time today! Like two pets.

Stephen: Why does everyone rub my head?
Rebekah: It's your spiritual gift.
Brett: Your head is my heroine.

Christina: Mom, does Dad's arm look swollen?
Mom: Yes, of course. He's been karate chopping live trees.

"God wants to be found.  He does not will for any to miss Him, and His is so gracious to show up right where we are looking--so He can take us beyond anything we've ever seen." - Beth Moore, To Live isa Christ, 151

Allyson: The overnight forecast is snow. Either that or stars.

Stephen: I read your blog faithfully except for recently. What's Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: If you read my blog, how can you not know about Wacky Wednesday?
David: Wacky Wednesday is arguably the best day of the month!

Evan: Twitter makes me like people I don't know. Facebook does the opposite.

Dad: What's the plural of moose?
Aunt: Elk!

Taft [praying]: Lord, don't smit us.

Rebekah: Then why doesn't he just say that?
Katie: 'Cuz he's a boy. They only think half-thoughts.

Bob: That shirt looks very nice on you.
Emily: You can't say that to her!
Bob: Why not? Gosh, I've been trying to work complements into my conversation and now you just ruined it! Katie, you're dirt ugly. Now you can just be mad at me; you can't have me arrested.

Brett: Hank. Don't eat electicity.

"It's very rare when you're following Jesus that you know exactly what you're doing and where you are going." - Jonathan Martin

Uncle Jack: Assuming this is a right angle...
Laura: Then you have three right angles. You can't have three right angles in a pentagon!

David: What if there was a food that makes you break bones? Like "I can't eat burgers 'cuz they make me break bones."

[Neal was cleaning up water on the floor]
Amber: Ethan got so excited about his cookie that he spilled his water.
Katie: Sorry, Neal, I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time.
Neal: At least it's clear.
Katie: I drank lots of water today.
Neal: Isn't that just inappropriate, Ethan, for a woman to be talking like that?
[Ethan was grinning like he wasn't sure what to do]

Rebekah: You smell like leather-flavored crayon.

Wife: How can you explain all of these awful things happening?
Husband: Easy. This is earth.

Katie: Since Christmas I've gotten a new camera, a new job, a new phone, a new-to-me computer, and a new house. Now I just need a new car.
Mom: Your brain is going to be mush. Next thing you know you're going to try to call with your camera, take pictures with your car, and scrapbook with your phone.
Katie: There's an app for that.

Brandon: I've told this story a lot of times but a lot of you haven't heard it because you haven't heard me tell it.

Dad: Oooowee!
Katie: You ok?
Dad: Yeah. That hurt! Somebody parked the vaccuum cleander in my coat.

Michael: When in doubt, pull out your actual Bible. If your cell phone doesn't know about Jesus, your actual Bible will. You never can tell about cell phones. I don't know if they're believers.

Beth: Sometimes I just breathe.

David: We all want to see your relationship succeed or fail, whichever is better.
Stephen: I hope you have many Lord of the Rings babies, and they don't look like gollum.

Katie: Brett! You heathen non-recycling Canadian!

Artemis: Daddy? When we go to Disney, Mommy said we could go for two whole days!
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: When we are 10 or 11 years old.
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: Where are we going to sleep? I mean, we could bring our sleeping bags and camp out in the back of your car.
Daddy: Or we could stay in a hotel.
Artemis: They have those there?!

Rebekah: Yeah, blinds take awhile to master.
Katie: Yeah, I don't have my master's in blinds yet.
Rebekah: I'm working on mine.

"If you write for God, you will reach many men and bring them joy. If you write for men, you may make some money and may give someone a little joy and you may make some noise in the world, for a little while. If you write for yourself, you can read what you yourself have written and after ten minutes you will be so disguisted that you wish that you were dead." - Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yay, I was a witness for one of the quotes!
Also, you can tell Laura that I still get excited about foamy soap, too. (Maybe that's why I don't have a grown-up job!)
Anywho, excellent quotes. :)