From Katie: The following is a collection of quotes and crazy conversations brought to my attention during the month of January. <>< Katie
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Taft: Wikipedia is blocked by HPPA.
Brett: I miss having hair. I used to have headaches when I had hair. Actually, I didn't. I never got headaches when I had hair but now I don't have hair and get headaches all of the time.
[Via text message]
Katie: We should catch up one of these days.
Kevin: We should catch up. Who is this?
Michael: This tastes like cocoa butter.
Stephen: Cocoa butter? That's for stretch marks!
Aunt Jett: Don't squeeze the cat. She might explode or something.
"Christianity can grow and flourish under some of the most difficult opposition, but it will prosper very little when people refuse to be changed by it." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 130
Lauren: I'm so not ready for a big girl job. I still get excited about foamy soap.
Mom: The wind must be coming from the west. The train sounds like a dead cow.
Christina: A dead cow, Mom? You realize that dead cows don't make any noises, right?
Mom: How many dead cows have you hung out with? They could make farting noises.
Brit: Decaf? Are you trying to stay awake? [Beat] Wait. I mean go to sleep?
Uncle Jack: [Hands in the air] I didn't do that! [Beat] Did I?
Mom: No, you didn't put the meese peep on the marinated rug.
Rebekah: You're such a good kitty when you're not being a bad kitty.
"If we're waiting for the needy to walk through our church doors, we may wait a long time. God doesn't wait for people to come to Him. He goes to them and desires to intervene right at the point of their need. He's looking for a few brave people, like the Apostle Paul, who are willing to go rather than wait for them to come. He's not looking for show-offs. He's looking for people through whom He can show off His Son. May we be some of those people." - Beth Moore, To Live is Christ, 151
Danielle: You can't say "Indian style." It's offensive.
David: It's criss-cross apple sauce.
Casey: I'm allergic to applesauce. That offends me.
Aunt Jett [About her husband]: One of the best things about him is his ability to drive backwards.
Katie: Hank [the cat] let me pet him for a long time today! Like two pets.
Stephen: Why does everyone rub my head?
Rebekah: It's your spiritual gift.
Brett: Your head is my heroine.
Christina: Mom, does Dad's arm look swollen?
Mom: Yes, of course. He's been karate chopping live trees.
"God wants to be found. He does not will for any to miss Him, and His is so gracious to show up right where we are looking--so He can take us beyond anything we've ever seen." - Beth Moore, To Live isa Christ, 151
Allyson: The overnight forecast is snow. Either that or stars.
Stephen: I read your blog faithfully except for recently. What's Wacky Wednesday?
Katie: If you read my blog, how can you not know about Wacky Wednesday?
David: Wacky Wednesday is arguably the best day of the month!
Evan: Twitter makes me like people I don't know. Facebook does the opposite.
Dad: What's the plural of moose?
Aunt: Elk!
Taft [praying]: Lord, don't smit us.
Rebekah: Then why doesn't he just say that?
Katie: 'Cuz he's a boy. They only think half-thoughts.
Bob: That shirt looks very nice on you.
Emily: You can't say that to her!
Bob: Why not? Gosh, I've been trying to work complements into my conversation and now you just ruined it! Katie, you're dirt ugly. Now you can just be mad at me; you can't have me arrested.
Brett: Hank. Don't eat electicity.
"It's very rare when you're following Jesus that you know exactly what you're doing and where you are going." - Jonathan Martin
Uncle Jack: Assuming this is a right angle...
Laura: Then you have three right angles. You can't have three right angles in a pentagon!
David: What if there was a food that makes you break bones? Like "I can't eat burgers 'cuz they make me break bones."
[Neal was cleaning up water on the floor]
Amber: Ethan got so excited about his cookie that he spilled his water.
Katie: Sorry, Neal, I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time.
Neal: At least it's clear.
Katie: I drank lots of water today.
Neal: Isn't that just inappropriate, Ethan, for a woman to be talking like that?
[Ethan was grinning like he wasn't sure what to do]
Rebekah: You smell like leather-flavored crayon.
Wife: How can you explain all of these awful things happening?
Husband: Easy. This is earth.
Katie: Since Christmas I've gotten a new camera, a new job, a new phone, a new-to-me computer, and a new house. Now I just need a new car.
Mom: Your brain is going to be mush. Next thing you know you're going to try to call with your camera, take pictures with your car, and scrapbook with your phone.
Katie: There's an app for that.
Brandon: I've told this story a lot of times but a lot of you haven't heard it because you haven't heard me tell it.
Dad: Oooowee!
Katie: You ok?
Dad: Yeah. That hurt! Somebody parked the vaccuum cleander in my coat.
Michael: When in doubt, pull out your actual Bible. If your cell phone doesn't know about Jesus, your actual Bible will. You never can tell about cell phones. I don't know if they're believers.
Beth: Sometimes I just breathe.
David: We all want to see your relationship succeed or fail, whichever is better.
Stephen: I hope you have many Lord of the Rings babies, and they don't look like gollum.
Katie: Brett! You heathen non-recycling Canadian!
Artemis: Daddy? When we go to Disney, Mommy said we could go for two whole days!
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: When we are 10 or 11 years old.
Daddy: Yup.
Artemis: Where are we going to sleep? I mean, we could bring our sleeping bags and camp out in the back of your car.
Daddy: Or we could stay in a hotel.
Artemis: They have those there?!
Rebekah: Yeah, blinds take awhile to master.
Katie: Yeah, I don't have my master's in blinds yet.
Rebekah: I'm working on mine.
"If you write for God, you will reach many men and bring them joy. If you write for men, you may make some money and may give someone a little joy and you may make some noise in the world, for a little while. If you write for yourself, you can read what you yourself have written and after ten minutes you will be so disguisted that you wish that you were dead." - Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
Showing posts with label Evan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Evan. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
The following of a collection of profound or ridiculous things heard in normal conversation (unless otherwise marked). <>< Katie
Katie: Don't lick her foot.
Laura [The her]: I feel breath on my toes!
"God is not someone who can be tacked on in our lives." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 96
Mom: What's your plan for tomorrow?
Katie [Sarcastically]: Let me check my calendar. Oh, look: it's blank.
Mom: Does that mean you have nothing going on tomorrow?
Katie: That's what a blank calendar means.
Mom: Not Dad's!
"That night I learned that God sees no barriers, even when I do. God is ready to use me. And when I focus on God instead of my mountain, He channels through me His grace and His power." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 81
Andy: Can I get a to-go box?
Elizabeth: Can I get a to-go cup?
Allyson: Can I get a to-go fork?
Laura: I feel old: I get to sign for mail.
Katie: Oh! It's probably my passport and China Visa.
Christina: It says refrigerate after opening.
Katie: It's probably not my passport.
Katie: I blogged.
Mom: How can you blog? It's Sunday.
Katie: I can blog whatever day I want!
"To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer." - Martin Luther
"Adoration is foreign to most people, and you will probably feel clumsy when you first try it. As with anything you take up--a new sport, a new computer program, a new job--you have to stretch yourself and work at it to do well." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 67
Katie: Ultimate flour sock.
Laura: What's that? You shove a sock in your flower? Wait.
Dad: Have you... gone potty?
Adam: Can I get a fourth of a cup of lemonade? Do you know what that means? If I have a 400-page book, I want 100 pages read.
Katie: Oh, I got it! By why wouldn't you want to read the other 300 pages?
Adam: I'm saving them for later.
Katie: What is this all about? I haven't been to church yet.
Pastor Russ: You haven't been to church yet?! Didn't you used to go to like three services? If you commit to praying for the high school ministry once a week, you get to paint a tile.
Katie: I have to pray? Once a week?!
Bob: You used to be like [high-pitched voice] "Yeah! I love to pray!"
Mom: We have a giant rabbit in our car. No, parking lot. No. We have a giant rabbit in our yard.
Katie: What was the ridiculous thing you said earlier that I didn't write now?
Mom: Nothing! Everything I say is incredibly intelligent!
Evan: Are you ready to walk and not faint?
Katie: Yeah, and run and not get weary, too!
Allyson: I'm glad you got that because I definitely didn't.
[See Isaiah 43:30-31]
Katie: In Chinese the days of the week are a number and then the word 'day.' Like Monday is one-day.
Mom: So Tuesday is Two-day? [Laughing]
Katie: Yes, today is Two-day Tuesday.
Katie: What time is it?
Elizabeth: It's 11:99.
"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 104
David: You never know with Rebekah. You turn around and she's throwing your five year old dreams out the window!
Katie: What did you lose in my computer?
Mom: I lost nothing; I found my jammies in your computer!
[Facebook conversation]
Katie: Was I the only one who wanted to stand up and dance during "Our God" at church this morning?
April: Why didn't you? I do. Maybe even sign a little!
Katie: When we were finally invited to sing I did clap my hands and move a little... but only a little. It is Lutheran church.
Brit: Katie, you heard this morning: we're liberal in practice but conservative in doctrine. I believe hand-clapping falls under practice.
Katie: What about dancing? Is that law or gospel?
"God is a worker who completes His works. Where is there an instance of God's beginning any work and leaving it incomplete? Show me once a world abandoned and thrown aside half-formed; show me a universe cast off from the Great Potter's wheel, with the design in outline, the clay half-hardened, and the form unshapely from incompleteness." - Charles Spurgeon
[Driving through a storm behind an airplane on a truck bed.]
Andy: That's why they're driving. If they were flying I wonder if the plane would drag the truck behind it, too.
Dad: I didn't understand why you were yelling at the dog.
Katie: I wasn't yelling at the dog. I was yelling at you.
Dad: Same thing.
Katie: Laura has a monopoly on all of the friends. [Beat] Laura, what are you doing? You're weird. [Beat] How do you have all of the friends?
Mom: She's less weird than you are!
[Telephone Pictionary]
Girl, age 14: Is "sexy" a bad word? I'll just use bodacious. How do you spell bodacious?
[The sentence] A bodacious angel wearing tight pants.
Katie: I'm trying not to sound like a dork in this email to Dr. T, and it's not working.
Elizabeth: Katie, it's Dr. T; he already knows you're a dork.
[Dad misbooked
Dad: Well, this is the dumbest, most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
Christina: No, it's not. Remember that time you double-booked Katie on the airplane so she had to sit next to herself?
Katie: Or the time you knocked over the full luggage cart in the parking lot?
"You cannot be everything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be." - Max Lucado
Katie: What's your favorite ice cream?
Boy, age 4: Tomato.
Katie: Tomato? I've never had tomato ice cream.
Boy: NOOO! Cookie dough!
[Bananagrams]
Mom: I wish I had a W to make dwarf. No, I wish I had a D; I have four Ws.
Katie: VBS does a great job of reminding me that I love children but I made the right choice not to go into education.
Laura: Oh. I'm the opposite.
Katie: You hate children and you're glad you're going into education?
Jackie, age 14: We need to all save up our money to buy a house and that way when you all die it can be mine.
Grandpa: What was that noise?
Katie: My fault. I pushed against the table to push my chair back, but apparently I'm heavier than the table.
Mom: First time in her life!
Christina: For my CNA stuff it says I have to be able to lift 50 pounds. How much is 50 pounds? Daddy, come here!
Dad: I weigh more than 50 pounds!
Christina: Ok, Katie, come here!
Katie: I weigh more than 50 pounds, too!
Christina: Fifty-two is close enough.
Mom: Katie! Dad's new scale is busted! It told me I weigh 300 pounds!
Katie: Let me try it. How does it work?
Mom: It doesn't.
Katie: It told me I weigh zero pounds.
Mom: You can have some of mine.
"[B]eing on a God-guided adventure truly is living life on another level than merely competing for wealth and achievement and prizes and toys of this work." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 173
Christian: But I believe in the Trinity!
Melissa: And Pastor Russ doesn't?
Uncle Jay: I'm the alien bringing the hay!
Auntie Gwennie: Are you practicing your Cantonese or your Mandarin?
Katie: My Mandarin.
Auntie Gwennie: Bok choy!
Mom: No, that's a vegetable.
Christina: Look! The moon!
Katie: I don't want to see anyone's moon!
Christina: God's showing us His moon.
Mom: Stop using my arm as a drumstick!
"Prayer is a way to turn dry theological descriptions into warm, living, personal realities. When we live in constant communication with God, our needs are met, our faith increases, and our love expands." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 166
Mom: Do you want milk?
Uncle Bill: No, we have red milk. [wine]
Auntie Gwennie: "Open away from face." What the--? It's a coffee filter, for crying out loud!
Christina: What's she getting?
Joe: I'm a he!
Uncle Bill: I strike on Fourth Street.
Katie: Good thing there are only three streets in cribbage.
"The point of your life is to point to Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 44
Katie: Don't lick her foot.
Laura [The her]: I feel breath on my toes!
"God is not someone who can be tacked on in our lives." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 96
Mom: What's your plan for tomorrow?
Katie [Sarcastically]: Let me check my calendar. Oh, look: it's blank.
Mom: Does that mean you have nothing going on tomorrow?
Katie: That's what a blank calendar means.
Mom: Not Dad's!
"That night I learned that God sees no barriers, even when I do. God is ready to use me. And when I focus on God instead of my mountain, He channels through me His grace and His power." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 81
Andy: Can I get a to-go box?
Elizabeth: Can I get a to-go cup?
Allyson: Can I get a to-go fork?
Laura: I feel old: I get to sign for mail.
Katie: Oh! It's probably my passport and China Visa.
Christina: It says refrigerate after opening.
Katie: It's probably not my passport.
Katie: I blogged.
Mom: How can you blog? It's Sunday.
Katie: I can blog whatever day I want!
"To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer." - Martin Luther
"Adoration is foreign to most people, and you will probably feel clumsy when you first try it. As with anything you take up--a new sport, a new computer program, a new job--you have to stretch yourself and work at it to do well." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 67
Katie: Ultimate flour sock.
Laura: What's that? You shove a sock in your flower? Wait.
Dad: Have you... gone potty?
Adam: Can I get a fourth of a cup of lemonade? Do you know what that means? If I have a 400-page book, I want 100 pages read.
Katie: Oh, I got it! By why wouldn't you want to read the other 300 pages?
Adam: I'm saving them for later.
Katie: What is this all about? I haven't been to church yet.
Pastor Russ: You haven't been to church yet?! Didn't you used to go to like three services? If you commit to praying for the high school ministry once a week, you get to paint a tile.
Katie: I have to pray? Once a week?!
Bob: You used to be like [high-pitched voice] "Yeah! I love to pray!"
Mom: We have a giant rabbit in our car. No, parking lot. No. We have a giant rabbit in our yard.
Katie: What was the ridiculous thing you said earlier that I didn't write now?
Mom: Nothing! Everything I say is incredibly intelligent!
Evan: Are you ready to walk and not faint?
Katie: Yeah, and run and not get weary, too!
Allyson: I'm glad you got that because I definitely didn't.
[See Isaiah 43:30-31]
Katie: In Chinese the days of the week are a number and then the word 'day.' Like Monday is one-day.
Mom: So Tuesday is Two-day? [Laughing]
Katie: Yes, today is Two-day Tuesday.
Katie: What time is it?
Elizabeth: It's 11:99.
"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 104
David: You never know with Rebekah. You turn around and she's throwing your five year old dreams out the window!
Katie: What did you lose in my computer?
Mom: I lost nothing; I found my jammies in your computer!
[Facebook conversation]
Katie: Was I the only one who wanted to stand up and dance during "Our God" at church this morning?
April: Why didn't you? I do. Maybe even sign a little!
Katie: When we were finally invited to sing I did clap my hands and move a little... but only a little. It is Lutheran church.
Brit: Katie, you heard this morning: we're liberal in practice but conservative in doctrine. I believe hand-clapping falls under practice.
Katie: What about dancing? Is that law or gospel?
"God is a worker who completes His works. Where is there an instance of God's beginning any work and leaving it incomplete? Show me once a world abandoned and thrown aside half-formed; show me a universe cast off from the Great Potter's wheel, with the design in outline, the clay half-hardened, and the form unshapely from incompleteness." - Charles Spurgeon
[Driving through a storm behind an airplane on a truck bed.]
Andy: That's why they're driving. If they were flying I wonder if the plane would drag the truck behind it, too.
Dad: I didn't understand why you were yelling at the dog.
Katie: I wasn't yelling at the dog. I was yelling at you.
Dad: Same thing.
Katie: Laura has a monopoly on all of the friends. [Beat] Laura, what are you doing? You're weird. [Beat] How do you have all of the friends?
Mom: She's less weird than you are!
[Telephone Pictionary]
Girl, age 14: Is "sexy" a bad word? I'll just use bodacious. How do you spell bodacious?
[The sentence] A bodacious angel wearing tight pants.
Katie: I'm trying not to sound like a dork in this email to Dr. T, and it's not working.
Elizabeth: Katie, it's Dr. T; he already knows you're a dork.
[Dad misbooked
Dad: Well, this is the dumbest, most embarrassing thing I've ever done.
Christina: No, it's not. Remember that time you double-booked Katie on the airplane so she had to sit next to herself?
Katie: Or the time you knocked over the full luggage cart in the parking lot?
"You cannot be everything you want to be, but you can be everything God wants you to be." - Max Lucado
Katie: What's your favorite ice cream?
Boy, age 4: Tomato.
Katie: Tomato? I've never had tomato ice cream.
Boy: NOOO! Cookie dough!
[Bananagrams]
Mom: I wish I had a W to make dwarf. No, I wish I had a D; I have four Ws.
Katie: VBS does a great job of reminding me that I love children but I made the right choice not to go into education.
Laura: Oh. I'm the opposite.
Katie: You hate children and you're glad you're going into education?
Jackie, age 14: We need to all save up our money to buy a house and that way when you all die it can be mine.
Grandpa: What was that noise?
Katie: My fault. I pushed against the table to push my chair back, but apparently I'm heavier than the table.
Mom: First time in her life!
Christina: For my CNA stuff it says I have to be able to lift 50 pounds. How much is 50 pounds? Daddy, come here!
Dad: I weigh more than 50 pounds!
Christina: Ok, Katie, come here!
Katie: I weigh more than 50 pounds, too!
Christina: Fifty-two is close enough.
Mom: Katie! Dad's new scale is busted! It told me I weigh 300 pounds!
Katie: Let me try it. How does it work?
Mom: It doesn't.
Katie: It told me I weigh zero pounds.
Mom: You can have some of mine.
"[B]eing on a God-guided adventure truly is living life on another level than merely competing for wealth and achievement and prizes and toys of this work." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 173
Christian: But I believe in the Trinity!
Melissa: And Pastor Russ doesn't?
Uncle Jay: I'm the alien bringing the hay!
Auntie Gwennie: Are you practicing your Cantonese or your Mandarin?
Katie: My Mandarin.
Auntie Gwennie: Bok choy!
Mom: No, that's a vegetable.
Christina: Look! The moon!
Katie: I don't want to see anyone's moon!
Christina: God's showing us His moon.
Mom: Stop using my arm as a drumstick!
"Prayer is a way to turn dry theological descriptions into warm, living, personal realities. When we live in constant communication with God, our needs are met, our faith increases, and our love expands." - Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray, 166
Mom: Do you want milk?
Uncle Bill: No, we have red milk. [wine]
Auntie Gwennie: "Open away from face." What the--? It's a coffee filter, for crying out loud!
Christina: What's she getting?
Joe: I'm a he!
Uncle Bill: I strike on Fourth Street.
Katie: Good thing there are only three streets in cribbage.
"The point of your life is to point to Him." - Francis Chan, Crazy Love, 44
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
David: Katie, I especially like the Wacky Wednesday quotes when Nikki's mocking you because they're so funny!
Heather: Evan, get a canoe and row home.
Evan: I would love that but I think it's uphill.
Katie: It wouldn't matter; you'd be in a canoe!
Katie: It's "Yo quiero verTe."
Neal: Yeah, V-E-R-D-E.
Katie: No, V-E-R-T-E. It's "I want to see You" not "I want green."
Andy: What is this? Do I look like a maid? Or a butler?
Amy: The first one.
Nikki: Maid.
Caitlin: You exchanged hats! That's like a promise.
Michael: Yeah! It's a promise ring for gangsters.
Katie: Is that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on your shirt?
Professor: James, do you know your Bible well?
James: No.
Professor: That's because you didn't grow up Lutheran.
Jennifer: Elizabeth, I can feel your heart beat through my butt!
Manolo: Say, "Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua."
Neal: Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua.
Katie: Neal! Stop swearing at us!
Neal: What?
Katie: He's teaching you naughty words!
Neal: Nah! This is a man of the Lord!
[an hour later Manolo did intentionally teach Neal the wrong word]
Nikki: I made a phalic image in this poem and he totally caught it!
Katie: He's a boy. I'm not surprised.
Nikki: No, it was a Biblical image!
Katie: He's a boy and a div school student.
Sara: Katie's always brave and tries the mystery salad from the stir fry line.
[That's really just in here for Mom]
[I'm cutting cookie cake with a butter knife. Andy handed me the machete we use to cut watermelon]
Katie: Will you make the bleeding stop when I cut myself with this knife?
Andy: Yes, but only this once.
Katie: Do you want some cookie cake without any blood on it?
Andy: No, I want blood on mine.
Katie: Well, I'll supply the cookie cake. You'll have to supply the blood.
Boy: I thought it was a fart. But then it rolled down my leg.
Mother: And onto the carpet.
Brother: Yeah, I'll put that on my facebook: my brother pooped on the carpet.
Mother: No.
Boy: Please, Mom?
Ted: Uno, dos, tros.
Mo: Oh, did you see? The directions are in plastic, too.
Jessica: You can't read plastic?
Mo: I mean, English.
Nikki: Do you like your sandwich cut?
Amy: Yes, like animals.
Nikki: You're going to get triangles. Four of them. Actually, I changed my mind and cut your P, B, and J like a pizza.
Erica: Where's Sherry from? America? I thought she was from Australia.
Sara: Are you stretching or giving me a hug?
David: Yes.
Heather: God is so good amidst all this crap.
Katie: She just said a naughty word in the prayer room!
Anonymous Friend: Hell, yeah!
Katie: Nikki! You always walk away when I'm talking!
Nikki: I know that your stories are long enough that I can walk away and come back to hear the real point.
Amy: Ah! I just got my phone charger stuck in the air conditioner vent.
James: I didn't do the assigment.
Professor: Well, that's what we expect from males.
Dad: I had a bad dream last night. I was graduating college and I didn't have a job.
Katie: I'm so glad your nightmare is my reality.
Neal: If you don't perform your role, our body is not whole. So don't let satan convince you that you're insignificant or something you did last week means you're not capable for being part of the body this week. Without you, our joy is not complete and we can't enjoy this trip. Maybe you're a pinky or maybe you're a heart; you're still part of the body.
Heather: Evan, get a canoe and row home.
Evan: I would love that but I think it's uphill.
Katie: It wouldn't matter; you'd be in a canoe!
Katie: It's "Yo quiero verTe."
Neal: Yeah, V-E-R-D-E.
Katie: No, V-E-R-T-E. It's "I want to see You" not "I want green."
Andy: What is this? Do I look like a maid? Or a butler?
Amy: The first one.
Nikki: Maid.
Caitlin: You exchanged hats! That's like a promise.
Michael: Yeah! It's a promise ring for gangsters.
Katie: Is that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast on your shirt?
Professor: James, do you know your Bible well?
James: No.
Professor: That's because you didn't grow up Lutheran.
Jennifer: Elizabeth, I can feel your heart beat through my butt!
Manolo: Say, "Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua."
Neal: Esta es mi primera vez en Nicaragua.
Katie: Neal! Stop swearing at us!
Neal: What?
Katie: He's teaching you naughty words!
Neal: Nah! This is a man of the Lord!
[an hour later Manolo did intentionally teach Neal the wrong word]
Nikki: I made a phalic image in this poem and he totally caught it!
Katie: He's a boy. I'm not surprised.
Nikki: No, it was a Biblical image!
Katie: He's a boy and a div school student.
Sara: Katie's always brave and tries the mystery salad from the stir fry line.
[That's really just in here for Mom]
[I'm cutting cookie cake with a butter knife. Andy handed me the machete we use to cut watermelon]
Katie: Will you make the bleeding stop when I cut myself with this knife?
Andy: Yes, but only this once.
Katie: Do you want some cookie cake without any blood on it?
Andy: No, I want blood on mine.
Katie: Well, I'll supply the cookie cake. You'll have to supply the blood.
Boy: I thought it was a fart. But then it rolled down my leg.
Mother: And onto the carpet.
Brother: Yeah, I'll put that on my facebook: my brother pooped on the carpet.
Mother: No.
Boy: Please, Mom?
Ted: Uno, dos, tros.
Mo: Oh, did you see? The directions are in plastic, too.
Jessica: You can't read plastic?
Mo: I mean, English.
Nikki: Do you like your sandwich cut?
Amy: Yes, like animals.
Nikki: You're going to get triangles. Four of them. Actually, I changed my mind and cut your P, B, and J like a pizza.
Erica: Where's Sherry from? America? I thought she was from Australia.
Sara: Are you stretching or giving me a hug?
David: Yes.
Heather: God is so good amidst all this crap.
Katie: She just said a naughty word in the prayer room!
Anonymous Friend: Hell, yeah!
Katie: Nikki! You always walk away when I'm talking!
Nikki: I know that your stories are long enough that I can walk away and come back to hear the real point.
Amy: Ah! I just got my phone charger stuck in the air conditioner vent.
James: I didn't do the assigment.
Professor: Well, that's what we expect from males.
Dad: I had a bad dream last night. I was graduating college and I didn't have a job.
Katie: I'm so glad your nightmare is my reality.
Neal: If you don't perform your role, our body is not whole. So don't let satan convince you that you're insignificant or something you did last week means you're not capable for being part of the body this week. Without you, our joy is not complete and we can't enjoy this trip. Maybe you're a pinky or maybe you're a heart; you're still part of the body.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wacky Wednesday
Katie: Sometimes broken things are worth keeping.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
Nikki: Like us.
Sara: I'm going to lick Cinderella's castle.
Heather: Or you could lick Mickey's butt. Or you could lick the trash can Goofy touched. Or you could lick the road where everyone walks. Or you could lick David's face. Do all of these sound ridiculous? So does licking Cinderella's castle!
Katie: Go outside by the puke.
Andy: You want us to buy you some puke? That's a waste of money. We could just produce it naturally for you.
Katie: If I ever need any puke, you'll be the first person that I call.
[Elizabeth and Andy kiss loudly]
Katie: I have my own naturally-produced puke now. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Jennifer! Do not chip clip your eyelashes!
Nikki: Katie, I'm pretty sure you're one-fourth dog. I'm going to get a dog whistle just to annoy you because I'm sure you'll hear it.
Katie: Dork.
Jennifer: I'm not a dork.
Katie: "Dork" is a term of endearment just like sassing is a love language.
Jennifer: A dorking is a pigeon with five toes.
Katie: I've also heard a dude is an infected hair on an elephant's butt, but I don't believe that either.
Jennifer: [laughing hysterically] Allyson! Come here, dude!
[She proceeded to call everyone a dude and laughed all night]
Andy [making lunch for our student teachers]: Do you want ketchup or grape jelly?
Amy: A mix of both.
Andy: Don't tempt me.
Amy: Andy, I like my sandwich cut in the same of animals.
Elizabeth: I like mine cut like monuments.
Andy: Amy, yours are cut like quadrilaterals.
Jennifer: I wish I could buy an eraser just to erase things.
Eva: She's high maintenance.
Evan: That's my fiance she's talking about.
Katie: Are you going to let her talk that way about your fiance?
Evan [with pride]: I like maintaining her.
Katie: I'm studying English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. This summer I'm going to China.
Josh: You realize none of those languages are going to help you in China, right?
Hannah: What's Katie's last name? Axelson or Axelton?
Matthew: Have you seen Katie?! It's not AxelTON.
Jennifer: I could be like a hamster and stick the candy in my cheeks, take it up to my tower, and eat it there!
Grandma: Yeah, we had burnt carrots--
Grandpa: --We had burnt carrots, burnt broccoli, and burnt offerings...
Jennifer: Katie, if I finished your sentences they'd start with words and end with numbers.
Danielle: I don't know how to wrestle Katie. I'm afraid I'm going to break her in half!
Katie: I told you, she could lift me with two fingers: it's not a fair fight.
[Later I was wrapped around her body and she was standing and spinning]
Jo: Oh! Don't hurt her head!
Katie: But it's ok to hurt the rest of me?
Nikki: Sometimes I just really don't think it's fair that I am so blessed with so many of you wonderful girls in my life when there are lonely people in this world. [beat] Maybe I should start pawning you off to lonely people. [beat] Katie, you're first!
Katie: The sauce-dressing stuff on this salad is so thick and overpowering that I can't tell what's chicken and what's a crouton.
Josh: I feel like that may be the point.
Jennifer: BRRRR!
Nikki: I'm sobrrrr!
Katie: I'm not.
Nikki: Andy, the word "sloughing" is in this book. And I used it today.
Andy: In a periodical sense?
[In the coffee shop, Amber's giving the attention wave to her computer. She was watching a video. Entire conversation in ASL]
Katie: Are you talking to yourself?
Amber: No, I'm in class, and I'm copying the teacher.
Katie: Why?
Amber: Because it's fun.
Katie: So you are talking to yourself. Or you're four. Which?
Amber: That one! [the four]
Katie: Ladies, you crack me up!
Jennifer: Oh, do you need some glue?
Dr. D: I never sneeze in dark rooms.
Jennifer and Allyson: Do you need anything from the store or the bank or the coffee shop?
Katie: I mean, if the bank is giving out free samples, I'll take some.
Lauren: Oh, man! This scratch paper she gave us is so big and antique-looking. It intimidated me. I had to get a piece of scratch paper for my scratch paper.
Jennifer: I don't want to go to dinner. I forfeit dinner.
[Andy was studying. I was reading with my head in Amy's lap; Amy was studying]
Andy: Katie, you have a laceration on the occipital portion of your head.
Katie: Amy, I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your lap.
Amy [pulling away]: WHAT?!
Jennifer [singing]: Holy, holy, holy!
Katie [spoken]: Can I finish my story? Lord God Almighty.
Dr. H [female]: This is my stun gun. POW!
Matthew: Don't taze me, bro!
Jonathan Martin: When the Spirit is working, there is a strange cocktail of supernatural boldness and awareness of my fragility. It's like His calling card.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Crisis Averted
After almost a month of scrapbook, I'm getting close to finishing my Guatemala scrapbook. It's been wonderful to relive that week and reminisce about the silly stories, the God moments, and the tedious work.
One day, we went to Lago Atilan and took a boat ride to a market on the other side of the lake. The bus ride to the boat was about three hours and at one point we hit construction traffic so bad that our driver turned off the bus. The peddlers loved this as they swarmed our bus like bees on a piece of fruit. I can just imagine them saying to each other, "Look at that bus of rich American tourists! Let's go sell some stuff!" First of all, college students are not rich. Secondly, we wanted to buy our souvenirs at our final destination not on the road to the market.
Neal had a short list of items he wanted to take home to his kids, and he knew he wanted to get his son a slingshot. The peddlers had a cute slingshot with a man on the handle. Neal opted against passing up this opportunity and purchased a slingshot through the window.
Evan, one of our team members, had a sunhat he'd been wearing all week. Not very diligently, I might add, or he would not have been burnt to a crisp. Well, while we were on the boat, his hat blew off. We continued out journey leaving Evan's beloved hat in the distance. We teased about the Guatemalan kayaker who would enjoy Evan's hat and cherish it like a prized possession.
As we were about to disembark, our host warned us about an idol worshiped in Guatemala. Since we were indeed a Christian mission team, it would not be good for us to buy this idol but rather use that moment as a witnessing opportunity and scream "SOLO JESÚS CHRISTO" as we fled. :-)
"What does the idol look like so we don't buy it by mistake?"
"It's a man with a cigar and a sun hat," Neal explained.
"Sort of like Evan's that just blew away?"
"Yes! God took care of that one for us," Neal said with a smile.
"Hey, Neal," I asked, "what's the difference between this idol and the little man on the slingshot you bought for your son?"
Oops. The slingshot didn't actually have the idol on it but rather a similar knock-off, but either way Neal could not give this gift to his son.
Be careful what you buy and don't fret if you lose something, maybe God was just taking care of the situation for you.
In Christ,
<>< Katie
One day, we went to Lago Atilan and took a boat ride to a market on the other side of the lake. The bus ride to the boat was about three hours and at one point we hit construction traffic so bad that our driver turned off the bus. The peddlers loved this as they swarmed our bus like bees on a piece of fruit. I can just imagine them saying to each other, "Look at that bus of rich American tourists! Let's go sell some stuff!" First of all, college students are not rich. Secondly, we wanted to buy our souvenirs at our final destination not on the road to the market.
Neal had a short list of items he wanted to take home to his kids, and he knew he wanted to get his son a slingshot. The peddlers had a cute slingshot with a man on the handle. Neal opted against passing up this opportunity and purchased a slingshot through the window.
Evan, one of our team members, had a sunhat he'd been wearing all week. Not very diligently, I might add, or he would not have been burnt to a crisp. Well, while we were on the boat, his hat blew off. We continued out journey leaving Evan's beloved hat in the distance. We teased about the Guatemalan kayaker who would enjoy Evan's hat and cherish it like a prized possession.
As we were about to disembark, our host warned us about an idol worshiped in Guatemala. Since we were indeed a Christian mission team, it would not be good for us to buy this idol but rather use that moment as a witnessing opportunity and scream "SOLO JESÚS CHRISTO" as we fled. :-)
"What does the idol look like so we don't buy it by mistake?"
"It's a man with a cigar and a sun hat," Neal explained.
"Sort of like Evan's that just blew away?"
"Yes! God took care of that one for us," Neal said with a smile.
"Hey, Neal," I asked, "what's the difference between this idol and the little man on the slingshot you bought for your son?"
Oops. The slingshot didn't actually have the idol on it but rather a similar knock-off, but either way Neal could not give this gift to his son.
Be careful what you buy and don't fret if you lose something, maybe God was just taking care of the situation for you.
In Christ,
<>< Katie
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