As my week back home in Baptist Country was drawing to a close, I pondered who I had gotten to see for a substantial amount of time and who I wanted to spend more time with.
The friends I am closest to, naturally, fit into the "I want more time!" category. But I began to wonder, how much more time did I want? If life and other obligations were no object, how much time would be sufficient with them?
Forever.
I wanted to stay in their apartment forever. I wanted to sit in their offices and chat days away. I wanted to never ever leave again.
Of course, an infinite amount of time with my friends would be fun.
But I decided that's what kind of relationship I want with the Lord. I want to lock myself in the prayer room and never come out. I want to sit at His feet and never move. I want to rest on the chest of my Abba Father.
Forever.
<>< Katie
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Perfect Timing
As my days on campus are winding down, I'm using every minute of them to be with friends. (As I'm sure you noticed with my lack of participation in social media outlets).
Our Suite Day ended earlier than anticipated, so I texted Stacy and asked if she wanted to play tennis. I had about a little over an hour before I needed to be ready for dinner.
She said sure, so we headed to the courts.
There was a storm brewing on the horizon, and we had the perfect spot to watch it roll in. Based on how often Stacy glanced up at the sky, I could tell she was nervous about this impending storm.
I'm from the Midwest. I figured we would play until the wind picked up, it started raining, or we saw lightning.
The darker the sky got, the more often we glanced towards it. In the distance, we could see the rain coming down. Stacy asked me if I was a daredevil. I'm not, but I do love watching storms roll in.
We hurried to get stray balls, wasted no time before a serve, and hit as frequently as we could.
Finally Stacy said it would have to be the last rally.
No rain, no wind, no lightning.
I disagreed but complied. I knew she was more concerned for my safety than her own. I knew that if something happened to me, she'd somehow contort it to where she, as the adult, was responsible.
In the two minutes it takes to drive back to my apartment, the wind picked up tremendously. As we entered the breezeway of my building, the first few rain drops fell.
We got back quite literally at the perfect time.
If it hadn't been for Stacy having my best interests at heart, I would have kept playing. I would have gotten wet. I would have blown away. I would have gotten struck by lightning.
If it weren't for God having my best interests at heart, I would not be where I am. I would keep playing, I would blow away, I would get hurt.
Sometimes obedience is hard. Ok, a lot of times obedience is hard. We'd rather risk it and wait the impending storm.
But I fully believe that God has our best interests at heart. If it is His will, He'll protect us from danger, even if He waits until the last moment to do it.
Even though we may not agree, the best thing we can do is comply to His will.
<>< Katie
Our Suite Day ended earlier than anticipated, so I texted Stacy and asked if she wanted to play tennis. I had about a little over an hour before I needed to be ready for dinner.
She said sure, so we headed to the courts.
There was a storm brewing on the horizon, and we had the perfect spot to watch it roll in. Based on how often Stacy glanced up at the sky, I could tell she was nervous about this impending storm.
I'm from the Midwest. I figured we would play until the wind picked up, it started raining, or we saw lightning.
The darker the sky got, the more often we glanced towards it. In the distance, we could see the rain coming down. Stacy asked me if I was a daredevil. I'm not, but I do love watching storms roll in.
We hurried to get stray balls, wasted no time before a serve, and hit as frequently as we could.
Finally Stacy said it would have to be the last rally.
No rain, no wind, no lightning.
I disagreed but complied. I knew she was more concerned for my safety than her own. I knew that if something happened to me, she'd somehow contort it to where she, as the adult, was responsible.
In the two minutes it takes to drive back to my apartment, the wind picked up tremendously. As we entered the breezeway of my building, the first few rain drops fell.
We got back quite literally at the perfect time.
If it hadn't been for Stacy having my best interests at heart, I would have kept playing. I would have gotten wet. I would have blown away. I would have gotten struck by lightning.
If it weren't for God having my best interests at heart, I would not be where I am. I would keep playing, I would blow away, I would get hurt.
Sometimes obedience is hard. Ok, a lot of times obedience is hard. We'd rather risk it and wait the impending storm.
But I fully believe that God has our best interests at heart. If it is His will, He'll protect us from danger, even if He waits until the last moment to do it.
Even though we may not agree, the best thing we can do is comply to His will.
<>< Katie
Monday, April 4, 2011
The Post in Which the Author Laments
It is the end of an era. Saying goodbye to my parents in what we now affectionately call "The Crying Parking Lot" seems like forever ago.
"One Sunday afternoon in June" is very quickly becoming "a Monday morning in May." That very expensive piece of paper is almost mine. But I don't want it.
I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready to get a big girl job. I'm not ready to start over.
I love it here. It's why I prayerfully chose this place. God has grown me and used me here.
I'm not the same woman I was four years ago when we cried in the parking lot. All too soon I'll be crying in a different parking lot. Pulling away from a place that has shaped me, formed me, and made me who I am.
As my peers discuss what dorm they're living in next year, I ponder what state (country?) I'll be in. As they plan their schedule, I look at the classes I wish I could take.
When my parents, sisters, and I said goodbye, I walked back to my dorm while their van pull away. I never looked back.
Will I be able to do the same in a month?
Based on how easily the tears filled my eyes tonight, no.
I refuse to count the days until I walk across the stage. Instead, I'm being pulled towards it kicking and screaming. Even my pullers are screaming.
"I'm going to have a hard time when you graduate."
"Are you sure you don't want to add an seventh major and stay a little while longer?"
But, unfortunately, it's time.
The rites of passage passed and the mile stones crossed. Those "one day in the future" events have become items to be crossed off the to-do list.
Yet still it hurts.
I'm comfortable here. Four years will do that.
I cannot walk across campus without stopping to chat. I know the chain of command for almost every problem and situation. I'm not afraid to jump to the top of the chain, I know the loop holes, and I call people by their first names. I keep emergency numbers in my phone, and I have used them.
This is my school.
This is my home.
I understand now why people linger long after graduation. Part of me hopes I become one of them.
<>< Katie
And to think, this post was supposed to be about my final youth trip this weekend.
Sorry, friends. Thanks for letting me be nostalgic today.
Amber and I purchsed our flights to China on Friday! Now my life doesn't end until August. But I still don't have any idea what I'm doing when I get back.
"One Sunday afternoon in June" is very quickly becoming "a Monday morning in May." That very expensive piece of paper is almost mine. But I don't want it.
I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready to get a big girl job. I'm not ready to start over.
I love it here. It's why I prayerfully chose this place. God has grown me and used me here.
I'm not the same woman I was four years ago when we cried in the parking lot. All too soon I'll be crying in a different parking lot. Pulling away from a place that has shaped me, formed me, and made me who I am.
As my peers discuss what dorm they're living in next year, I ponder what state (country?) I'll be in. As they plan their schedule, I look at the classes I wish I could take.
When my parents, sisters, and I said goodbye, I walked back to my dorm while their van pull away. I never looked back.
Will I be able to do the same in a month?
Based on how easily the tears filled my eyes tonight, no.
I refuse to count the days until I walk across the stage. Instead, I'm being pulled towards it kicking and screaming. Even my pullers are screaming.
"I'm going to have a hard time when you graduate."
"Are you sure you don't want to add an seventh major and stay a little while longer?"
But, unfortunately, it's time.
The rites of passage passed and the mile stones crossed. Those "one day in the future" events have become items to be crossed off the to-do list.
Yet still it hurts.
I'm comfortable here. Four years will do that.
I cannot walk across campus without stopping to chat. I know the chain of command for almost every problem and situation. I'm not afraid to jump to the top of the chain, I know the loop holes, and I call people by their first names. I keep emergency numbers in my phone, and I have used them.
This is my school.
This is my home.
I understand now why people linger long after graduation. Part of me hopes I become one of them.
<>< Katie
And to think, this post was supposed to be about my final youth trip this weekend.
Sorry, friends. Thanks for letting me be nostalgic today.
Amber and I purchsed our flights to China on Friday! Now my life doesn't end until August. But I still don't have any idea what I'm doing when I get back.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
The War is Over
Thankful for the three layers under her red winter jacket, she sits in a rocking chair on the front porch. The cars cruise down the highway, most of them obliviously to her obscure location.
Wishing she'd opted for the hot chocolate instead, she attempts to maneuver her gloved hand around the spoon in her McFlurry. Her dinner, a Taco Bell Chulupa with chicken, sits in her lap forgotten. Not unlike she is.
"You want to let me in?" she calls on her cell phone.
"Oh... uh... shoot... well... see... uh... um... we're still at the grocery store," explains the voice on the other end. "We're on our way back," he lies.
The clock tower lets out a chime. It's 5:45. According to the invitation, the Superbowl party in the boys' dorm started fifteen minutes earlier. For the first time in her life, she's glad she didn't arrive on time.
The ice cream in her cup does not threaten to melt, but she's slowly losing feeling in her fingers as she touches the plastic spoon to her lips.
"He begged me to come," she said aloud to herself, remembering the pleading facebook messages asking her to ditch the Superbowl party in her apartment to attend his. Now he's failed to arrive at his own party and left her sitting in the cold.
Ten minutes later, the ice cream is gone; she is still waiting. Suddenly, the door behind her pops open revealing the morgue turned boy's dorm as her party host bursts out into the chilling winter night. She glances at her watch and starts up at him.
"We have chips," he says with a sly smile.
Of course, chips make her frost bite worthwhile because now instead of begging for mercy, he'll beg for grace, and he'll want it in the form of cheese chip dip. Yet she'll give it. If only in the name of forgiveness and familial love.
-------
Dear Mr. Kevin Kassakatis,
I was not going to update my blog twice today. However, your tasteless, rude behavior this evening left me no choice. I have considered this your forfeiting the war and will being my victory dance as soon as I thaw.
Kind regards,
<>< Katie Ax
PS: But I still love you.
Wishing she'd opted for the hot chocolate instead, she attempts to maneuver her gloved hand around the spoon in her McFlurry. Her dinner, a Taco Bell Chulupa with chicken, sits in her lap forgotten. Not unlike she is.
"You want to let me in?" she calls on her cell phone.
"Oh... uh... shoot... well... see... uh... um... we're still at the grocery store," explains the voice on the other end. "We're on our way back," he lies.
The clock tower lets out a chime. It's 5:45. According to the invitation, the Superbowl party in the boys' dorm started fifteen minutes earlier. For the first time in her life, she's glad she didn't arrive on time.
The ice cream in her cup does not threaten to melt, but she's slowly losing feeling in her fingers as she touches the plastic spoon to her lips.
"He begged me to come," she said aloud to herself, remembering the pleading facebook messages asking her to ditch the Superbowl party in her apartment to attend his. Now he's failed to arrive at his own party and left her sitting in the cold.
Ten minutes later, the ice cream is gone; she is still waiting. Suddenly, the door behind her pops open revealing the morgue turned boy's dorm as her party host bursts out into the chilling winter night. She glances at her watch and starts up at him.
"We have chips," he says with a sly smile.
Of course, chips make her frost bite worthwhile because now instead of begging for mercy, he'll beg for grace, and he'll want it in the form of cheese chip dip. Yet she'll give it. If only in the name of forgiveness and familial love.
-------
Dear Mr. Kevin Kassakatis,
I was not going to update my blog twice today. However, your tasteless, rude behavior this evening left me no choice. I have considered this your forfeiting the war and will being my victory dance as soon as I thaw.
Kind regards,
<>< Katie Ax
PS: But I still love you.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Rushed Prayer
Katie
God
"Aloud"
For some unknown reason my friend Kevin thought it wise to tease me about updating my blog 3 to 4 times a day. First off, I have only updated three times in one day once (ok, maybe twice). Second, you should see some of the stuff I write and don't post! Third, blogging is the cool thing to do not having a blog and abandoning it for a month! Last yet most important, at least I didn't buy whitey tighties at Wal-mart while wearing a pink shirt...
Today's been a long day. I left my apartment 6 hours ago and haven't been back since. After this next meeting, I'll be able to run a back there for maybe an hour, leave for dinner, go back for another hour, and I have three hours of class tonight. It's been a busy day but this was perhaps my favorite fifteen minutes.
12:49
Prof, please let class out. I have to get lunch.
12:51
"Class dismissed."
Thank you! The race begins: you have nine minutes to get to the caf, find lunch, and get to the prayer room. Go!
12:54
Congratulations, you made it in the building. Six minutes. Good luck.
Please swipe cards faster, can't you tell I'm on a time limit here?
12:55
"Hi, Emily. Yes, I can do coffee tomorrow. Hi, Steven. I'm good, and you? Hola, Stephanie. Hey, Jeanie. What happened to your underwear, Quailman? Hi, Brittany. Hi, hi, hi..."
Gosh, darn it! Why do I have to be so friendly? Five minutes and an empty to-go box. Double time, Katie!
12:56
Pizza or rice? Pizza or rice? Who likes milk in a paper cup? Yuck! Do I want grape juice for breakfast and lunch? Well, milk is out, so grape juice it is. Please don't be out of grape juice. Do I want dessert? What do I want for dessert?
12:57
"Have a good day, Katie," David shouted across the caf. I looked up just long enough to wave to my normal lunch pals and give them a faint smile. Oh, how I wish I could stay to listen to Claire interpret David's argument to say married women are ugly. No time for that. Tight schedule.
12:58
Hey, Katie.
"What?" I asked aloud, my tone of voice really said, "In a rush, can't talk now." I was tripping up the back stairs of the chapel spilling grape juice up my straw and all over my face (don't ask me how that happened but it did).
I'll see be here when you get here.
Huh?
12:59
Flick off the shoes, I'm entering Holy Ground. Whew! I can breathe again! I made it: with one minute to spare.
1:01
Why'd you rush? I'm still here. Remember what we talked about in Guatemala about being late?
My campus is currently taking part in a 24/7 prayer campaign where we have someone praying for the campus and the world twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I accidentally signed up for a time during my lunch hour instead of picking a time I was free (like now in the two o'clock hour). I'd encourage you to take some time out of your schedule today, this week and pray for your world. Your campus, your town, your state, your country, your world. It doesn't have to be an hour. You don't have to shove a pizza in your mouth as you pray, "Thank You, God, that I have food." But take a minute to pray today.
With love,
<>< Katie
God
"Aloud"
For some unknown reason my friend Kevin thought it wise to tease me about updating my blog 3 to 4 times a day. First off, I have only updated three times in one day once (ok, maybe twice). Second, you should see some of the stuff I write and don't post! Third, blogging is the cool thing to do not having a blog and abandoning it for a month! Last yet most important, at least I didn't buy whitey tighties at Wal-mart while wearing a pink shirt...
Today's been a long day. I left my apartment 6 hours ago and haven't been back since. After this next meeting, I'll be able to run a back there for maybe an hour, leave for dinner, go back for another hour, and I have three hours of class tonight. It's been a busy day but this was perhaps my favorite fifteen minutes.
12:49
Prof, please let class out. I have to get lunch.
12:51
"Class dismissed."
Thank you! The race begins: you have nine minutes to get to the caf, find lunch, and get to the prayer room. Go!
12:54
Congratulations, you made it in the building. Six minutes. Good luck.
Please swipe cards faster, can't you tell I'm on a time limit here?
12:55
"Hi, Emily. Yes, I can do coffee tomorrow. Hi, Steven. I'm good, and you? Hola, Stephanie. Hey, Jeanie. What happened to your underwear, Quailman? Hi, Brittany. Hi, hi, hi..."
Gosh, darn it! Why do I have to be so friendly? Five minutes and an empty to-go box. Double time, Katie!
12:56
Pizza or rice? Pizza or rice? Who likes milk in a paper cup? Yuck! Do I want grape juice for breakfast and lunch? Well, milk is out, so grape juice it is. Please don't be out of grape juice. Do I want dessert? What do I want for dessert?
12:57
"Have a good day, Katie," David shouted across the caf. I looked up just long enough to wave to my normal lunch pals and give them a faint smile. Oh, how I wish I could stay to listen to Claire interpret David's argument to say married women are ugly. No time for that. Tight schedule.
12:58
Hey, Katie.
"What?" I asked aloud, my tone of voice really said, "In a rush, can't talk now." I was tripping up the back stairs of the chapel spilling grape juice up my straw and all over my face (don't ask me how that happened but it did).
I'll see be here when you get here.
Huh?
12:59
Flick off the shoes, I'm entering Holy Ground. Whew! I can breathe again! I made it: with one minute to spare.
1:01
Why'd you rush? I'm still here. Remember what we talked about in Guatemala about being late?
My campus is currently taking part in a 24/7 prayer campaign where we have someone praying for the campus and the world twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I accidentally signed up for a time during my lunch hour instead of picking a time I was free (like now in the two o'clock hour). I'd encourage you to take some time out of your schedule today, this week and pray for your world. Your campus, your town, your state, your country, your world. It doesn't have to be an hour. You don't have to shove a pizza in your mouth as you pray, "Thank You, God, that I have food." But take a minute to pray today.
With love,
<>< Katie
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