This year I was asked to help with the rewriting and tweaking of the narrations for our church's patriotic musical.
I listened to the songs on repeat, reading the music and listening. I puked out thoughts and words before prayerfully putting them into complete, logical sentences.
I let them sit for a few days before rereading them and sending them off to the director. He thought they were great, so I pushed them from my mind.
I still wasn't pleased. At the performance, I heard the start of a phrase and my first thought was, "I hope that wasn't my sentence." It was. The longer the narration went, the more upset I became.
Katie: Why didn't I read over that once more before sending it in? A few changed words could have made it better. That doesn't even make sense! Why? Ugh!
God: Fine, then no one can hear it.
And the sound system gave feedback for the first (and only) time all night. The mic blew and the narrator continued. When my phrase was over, the narrator's microphone came back on and the program continued.
God: I wrote that; you didn't. Those words were exactly the way I wanted them to be; I'm using them as they are. I AM the Writer; you are the pen.
Yes, Lord.
<>< Katie
Showing posts with label use. Show all posts
Showing posts with label use. Show all posts
Friday, July 8, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Sharing Life
They didn't know I was in town. I knew I couldn't leave without seeing them.
After dinner one evening, I gave them a call. No answer. I called their cell phone. No answer. I called the house phone again. Still no answer.
"What do you want to do?" Laura asked. "Do you want to go over there and check or just wait awhile?"
I hesitated. There are some people in my life that the best (read: only) way to get a hold of them is face-to-face.
"Do you mind if we just run over there?"
She didn't.
We figured they were having Family Time. The phone does not interrupt Family Time but Katie and Laura are welcome to Family Time.
We were wrong.
The phone went unanswered because Ruth was out walking the dog. When we pulled up beside her she gave us a small wave. Her eyes were teary. We parked and ran over to hug her.
"Jesus sent you to me!" She said. Twice.
Her father who, despite being in his 90s, had been doing relatively well had taken a bad turn. She didn't know if he had hours to live or weeks. She didn't know if he'd still me alive in a week when they made the cross-country trip home. She didn't know if she wanted the opportunity to say goodbye or if she would prefer he pass quickly rather than suffer. It had only been a month since her mother went home to heaven.
The three of us walked around the neighborhood hand in hand, tear in tear. Then we sat on the couch together, journeyed back through life, and cried some more. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes we blubbered. Sometimes we sat in silence. We shared life.
We prayed to God. We praised God. We questioned God. We said, "Thy will be done."
Thanks to her sons, we were the hill in a painful rendition of King of the Hill. We were drooled on by the dog. We cleaned up the kitchen.
Laura and I had no idea what to expect when we decided just to go over. But we're so glad we did. God was using us and, at first, we had no idea.
Be intentional. Life is messy: share it with someone. Drop in to check on a friend. Let God provide your shoulder, your hug, your friendship for someone in need. You never know when your smile is the highlight of their day. When your kind word is really the Holy Spirit speaking directly to their heart.
<>< Katie
UPDATE: Earlier this week Ruth sat at her father's bedside and heard him draw his last breath before he went Home to his Father's House. Please take a minute to pray for the family as they are grieving but also rejoicing that he's now healthy and whole.
After dinner one evening, I gave them a call. No answer. I called their cell phone. No answer. I called the house phone again. Still no answer.
"What do you want to do?" Laura asked. "Do you want to go over there and check or just wait awhile?"
I hesitated. There are some people in my life that the best (read: only) way to get a hold of them is face-to-face.
"Do you mind if we just run over there?"
She didn't.
We figured they were having Family Time. The phone does not interrupt Family Time but Katie and Laura are welcome to Family Time.
We were wrong.
The phone went unanswered because Ruth was out walking the dog. When we pulled up beside her she gave us a small wave. Her eyes were teary. We parked and ran over to hug her.
"Jesus sent you to me!" She said. Twice.
Her father who, despite being in his 90s, had been doing relatively well had taken a bad turn. She didn't know if he had hours to live or weeks. She didn't know if he'd still me alive in a week when they made the cross-country trip home. She didn't know if she wanted the opportunity to say goodbye or if she would prefer he pass quickly rather than suffer. It had only been a month since her mother went home to heaven.
The three of us walked around the neighborhood hand in hand, tear in tear. Then we sat on the couch together, journeyed back through life, and cried some more. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes we blubbered. Sometimes we sat in silence. We shared life.
We prayed to God. We praised God. We questioned God. We said, "Thy will be done."
Thanks to her sons, we were the hill in a painful rendition of King of the Hill. We were drooled on by the dog. We cleaned up the kitchen.
Laura and I had no idea what to expect when we decided just to go over. But we're so glad we did. God was using us and, at first, we had no idea.
Be intentional. Life is messy: share it with someone. Drop in to check on a friend. Let God provide your shoulder, your hug, your friendship for someone in need. You never know when your smile is the highlight of their day. When your kind word is really the Holy Spirit speaking directly to their heart.
<>< Katie
UPDATE: Earlier this week Ruth sat at her father's bedside and heard him draw his last breath before he went Home to his Father's House. Please take a minute to pray for the family as they are grieving but also rejoicing that he's now healthy and whole.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Being Used
"I'm tired," I said, resting my head on Neal's shoulder. It was lunchtime on our third day in Nicaragua and we'd already done three church services, visited three schools, and been performed for twice.
He put his arm around me in a side hug. There we stood in silence for a few minutes. I never said this but I was more than tired; I was discouraged.
The previous night we had done a worship service at a youth-filled home church in the city. It was in the upper room of this little house where our team of 26 took up most of the incredibly uncomfortable seats. The youth from this church sat scattered among us, crouched on the floor in the back, or stood squished in the corner.
They started out the worship service with some songs, prayer, a dance, and a short message. Then we did some of the same things: three songs, a skit (the only service we didn't do The Heart Skit), a prayer, a sign performance, a testimony, and a sermon. By the end of the service, most of our team was in tears, in awe of how alive the Spirit of the Lord was in that church.
This is an excerpt from my journal that night:
My head still resting on his chest, Neal rubbed my arm with his hand.
"God's using you, you know," he said.
As silly as this sounds, I was surprised to hear that. I knew that God would use me but I did not know He is using me. Present tense. Not some abstract future occurrence but right now.
Neal continued, "A lot of people said when you signed 'My Savior, My God' last night was when the Holy Spirit started to work on them."
What?
I had no idea. I figured God had started speaking when they danced, when we sang in two languages, when the father and son did a duet, when we prayed... sometime long before I took the stage.
Apparently not. The Holy Spirit used me and I had no idea. While I still would have liked to enjoy the overwhelming experience like the rest of my teammates, I was stunned and amazed to learn that I had been used and I had no idea.
I think I thanked Neal for telling me exactly what I needed to hear.
The version of "My Savior, My God" I signed was written to be a trio. I signed it by myself. A Trio, a Holy Trio, perfromed it.
Sometimes the Holy Spirit uses you and you know it. You feel it. But sometimes the Holy Spirit uses you and you have no idea. You don't feel it.
Are you ok with both?
I am.
<>< Katie
He put his arm around me in a side hug. There we stood in silence for a few minutes. I never said this but I was more than tired; I was discouraged.
The previous night we had done a worship service at a youth-filled home church in the city. It was in the upper room of this little house where our team of 26 took up most of the incredibly uncomfortable seats. The youth from this church sat scattered among us, crouched on the floor in the back, or stood squished in the corner.
They started out the worship service with some songs, prayer, a dance, and a short message. Then we did some of the same things: three songs, a skit (the only service we didn't do The Heart Skit), a prayer, a sign performance, a testimony, and a sermon. By the end of the service, most of our team was in tears, in awe of how alive the Spirit of the Lord was in that church.
This is an excerpt from my journal that night:
God, I'm a little jealous that everyone else had such wonderful experiences tonight. I know You are alive and here in Nicaragua but I didn't feel it the way everyone else did. I know that You speak to everyone in different ways but it seemed like You spoke to everyone in the same way tonight... except me.My eyes were dry. I felt nothing. I was annoyed with God for not allowing me to feel the same thing as everyone else. I was jealous, and I hadn't told anyone but God.
My head still resting on his chest, Neal rubbed my arm with his hand.
"God's using you, you know," he said.
As silly as this sounds, I was surprised to hear that. I knew that God would use me but I did not know He is using me. Present tense. Not some abstract future occurrence but right now.
Neal continued, "A lot of people said when you signed 'My Savior, My God' last night was when the Holy Spirit started to work on them."
What?
I had no idea. I figured God had started speaking when they danced, when we sang in two languages, when the father and son did a duet, when we prayed... sometime long before I took the stage.
Apparently not. The Holy Spirit used me and I had no idea. While I still would have liked to enjoy the overwhelming experience like the rest of my teammates, I was stunned and amazed to learn that I had been used and I had no idea.
I think I thanked Neal for telling me exactly what I needed to hear.
The version of "My Savior, My God" I signed was written to be a trio. I signed it by myself. A Trio, a Holy Trio, perfromed it.
Sometimes the Holy Spirit uses you and you know it. You feel it. But sometimes the Holy Spirit uses you and you have no idea. You don't feel it.
Are you ok with both?
I am.
<>< Katie
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Great Things
I was thinking about next year and how I don't have any idea where I'm headed in May. I've sent MFA applications to five schools around the country. The closest to home is six hours away. The closest to here is five hours away. Of all five schools, the one with the closest family friends is three hours, my friend Rebecca's extended family.
I began to think about Rebecca's little sister Kaitlyn who's finally on the uphill climb in her horrific battle with Lyme Disease. She has miraculously regained mobility but remains hyper-sensitive to touch, sound, light, smells, etc. She's made huge steps (no pun intended) but has a long way to go.
Katie: God, You've given her such a great testimony of spiritual strength through physical weakness. You're going to do such great things with Kait! I'm so excited to see it!
God: Actually, Katie, I'm not going to wait until she's healed to do great things with her. I'm doing great things with her right now. I'm using her as she is, where she is.
I began to think about how God can and is doing the same things in each of our lives. He's not waiting until we're healed, until we're in a middle-of-nowhere grad school, until we're all put together.
He is using us right now, where we are, as we are.
Being used,
<>< Katie
PS: For more about Kaitlyn's story, check out her caringbridge. You do have to register for the site but it's open to anyone with a (free) CaringBridge account.
I began to think about Rebecca's little sister Kaitlyn who's finally on the uphill climb in her horrific battle with Lyme Disease. She has miraculously regained mobility but remains hyper-sensitive to touch, sound, light, smells, etc. She's made huge steps (no pun intended) but has a long way to go.
Katie: God, You've given her such a great testimony of spiritual strength through physical weakness. You're going to do such great things with Kait! I'm so excited to see it!
God: Actually, Katie, I'm not going to wait until she's healed to do great things with her. I'm doing great things with her right now. I'm using her as she is, where she is.
I began to think about how God can and is doing the same things in each of our lives. He's not waiting until we're healed, until we're in a middle-of-nowhere grad school, until we're all put together.
He is using us right now, where we are, as we are.
Being used,
<>< Katie
PS: For more about Kaitlyn's story, check out her caringbridge. You do have to register for the site but it's open to anyone with a (free) CaringBridge account.
Monday, July 12, 2010
"It's All in the Serve"
Do me a favor and hold your imaginary tennis ball in your left hand, racket in your right. Bounce the ball on the ground a few times because in a second you're going to toss it straight into the air. Now, cross your wrists. You know this. "Down together; up together; swing when you're ready."
How's your serve?
Off the court, how's your serve? Invisible? Are you putting the towel on like Jesus and washing dirty, smelly feet? Are you getting dirty? Are you being used? Are you serving your own intentions or feeding the needs of others?
Honestly?
No one's judging you (except God, of course, but He loves you anyway).
The serve
An Ace: A job well done. Applaud but not because of what you did. Applaud that God used you, and no one saw. Don't you dare tell anyone what happened. Now, go do it again.
The Let: The job was completed, but you got caught in the act. Bounce the ball a few times, brush it off, and step up to the baseline. Take two. Don't get caught. Let God work.
It's Out: You pushed your own intentions, and the ball went long. You didn't do what needed to be done, and the ball went wide. That's ok. Try again. Whatever you do, don't let the ball fall short. Good intentions do nothing. Follow through.
<>< Katie
Note One: some of the ideas in this post come from Peder Eide. If you have never explored his Taste Worship ministry, I highly recommend you do so. Especially if you have a family. Which you do.
Note Two: The title of this post comes from a Michael W. Smith song from The Second Chance movie.
How's your serve?
Off the court, how's your serve? Invisible? Are you putting the towel on like Jesus and washing dirty, smelly feet? Are you getting dirty? Are you being used? Are you serving your own intentions or feeding the needs of others?
Honestly?
No one's judging you (except God, of course, but He loves you anyway).
The serve
An Ace: A job well done. Applaud but not because of what you did. Applaud that God used you, and no one saw. Don't you dare tell anyone what happened. Now, go do it again.
The Let: The job was completed, but you got caught in the act. Bounce the ball a few times, brush it off, and step up to the baseline. Take two. Don't get caught. Let God work.
It's Out: You pushed your own intentions, and the ball went long. You didn't do what needed to be done, and the ball went wide. That's ok. Try again. Whatever you do, don't let the ball fall short. Good intentions do nothing. Follow through.
<>< Katie
Note One: some of the ideas in this post come from Peder Eide. If you have never explored his Taste Worship ministry, I highly recommend you do so. Especially if you have a family. Which you do.
Note Two: The title of this post comes from a Michael W. Smith song from The Second Chance movie.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Used Books
My suitemates and I were discussing buying books online verses in the bookstore. Everyone was sharing how much money they save buying used books online. I've used that avenue to purchase my share of books, but the hassle almost isn't worth the money I save. I mean, who wants to spend their time worrying about when the book will arrive? Will it come in at a time when the post office is open? What if I have homework before I have the book? After shipping and handling costs are added, did I still save money?
The questions don't stop when the book arrives. Is this the right book? Is the cover/spine destroyed? Did the former owner spill coffee (or anything else gross) on it? Did the former owner make useless marks all over the pages like a loser? Are there missing pages/ corners? Was the book well cared for?
Most of these things I am learning to overlook, but there is one question I cannot bypass: How many times was this book used to block a sneeze?
I guess I'm just too particular about my stuff to truly enjoy the treasures hidden in used bookstores. Enjoy the troves and allow me to savor the crisp spine and pristine pages of my more expensive bookstore books.
<>< Katie
The questions don't stop when the book arrives. Is this the right book? Is the cover/spine destroyed? Did the former owner spill coffee (or anything else gross) on it? Did the former owner make useless marks all over the pages like a loser? Are there missing pages/ corners? Was the book well cared for?
Most of these things I am learning to overlook, but there is one question I cannot bypass: How many times was this book used to block a sneeze?
I guess I'm just too particular about my stuff to truly enjoy the treasures hidden in used bookstores. Enjoy the troves and allow me to savor the crisp spine and pristine pages of my more expensive bookstore books.
<>< Katie
Friday, June 26, 2009
Use Me
I think I over-estimated my number of readers... does anyone actually read these blogs?
Last week Monday, my friend Jessica was concerned about the lack volunteers for VBS. We all concurred that God would provide.
On Wednesday, I went out to lunch with a mutual friend Emily to discuss high school ministry and in the four parking stalls between her car and mine, she somehow convinced me to see if Jessica still needed help for VBS. I knew God would provide for Jessica, but I never expected that I would be the one He provided. In reality, God dropped people from the sky for her, and the fall didn't hurt. God and I had a good laugh all the way home.
"Use me," I said, "but obviously You don't need my permission to do that. Yet I still give it."
Well, a week later I have survived my first VBS ever! There are a plethora of children's songs running on shuffle in my head... where they have been for the last week. Yet the effects of VBS go a whole lot deeper than musical hallucinations.
Last night, I drove past a dead opossum on the road. I chuckled when I contemplated pulling over, putting my hand on it, and saying, "God gives up life!" (And I half expected a loud "Fear not!" to follow).
This afternoon, my VBS kids were running back towards church and I said, "Let's use our walking feet." Imagine my surprise when every single one of them slowed down and began to walk! I was still talking, and one of them turned around and said, "SHHH!!" to me! I forgot, walking feet go with quiet mouths and listening ears! It only took a week for them to learn and less time than that to forget, but it feels good to be shhh-ed by a four year old.
One of my VBS friends loved the firefly he made on Monday. Every day he asked if he could take it home, and everyday the answer was, "You may take it home on Friday." Everyday he told me, "This is my firefly. It reminds me that God is with us! FEAR NOT!" Some lessons do actually stick.
Max Lucado recommends taking a walk with a child every day to see life from their point of view. Well, every day this week I got to see God through the eyes of a four year old, and let me just tell you: He is good!
Learning to Listen,
<>< Katie
Last week Monday, my friend Jessica was concerned about the lack volunteers for VBS. We all concurred that God would provide.
On Wednesday, I went out to lunch with a mutual friend Emily to discuss high school ministry and in the four parking stalls between her car and mine, she somehow convinced me to see if Jessica still needed help for VBS. I knew God would provide for Jessica, but I never expected that I would be the one He provided. In reality, God dropped people from the sky for her, and the fall didn't hurt. God and I had a good laugh all the way home.
"Use me," I said, "but obviously You don't need my permission to do that. Yet I still give it."
Well, a week later I have survived my first VBS ever! There are a plethora of children's songs running on shuffle in my head... where they have been for the last week. Yet the effects of VBS go a whole lot deeper than musical hallucinations.
Last night, I drove past a dead opossum on the road. I chuckled when I contemplated pulling over, putting my hand on it, and saying, "God gives up life!" (And I half expected a loud "Fear not!" to follow).
This afternoon, my VBS kids were running back towards church and I said, "Let's use our walking feet." Imagine my surprise when every single one of them slowed down and began to walk! I was still talking, and one of them turned around and said, "SHHH!!" to me! I forgot, walking feet go with quiet mouths and listening ears! It only took a week for them to learn and less time than that to forget, but it feels good to be shhh-ed by a four year old.
One of my VBS friends loved the firefly he made on Monday. Every day he asked if he could take it home, and everyday the answer was, "You may take it home on Friday." Everyday he told me, "This is my firefly. It reminds me that God is with us! FEAR NOT!" Some lessons do actually stick.
Max Lucado recommends taking a walk with a child every day to see life from their point of view. Well, every day this week I got to see God through the eyes of a four year old, and let me just tell you: He is good!
Learning to Listen,
<>< Katie
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