"If life is worth living, then it is worth recording."
Jennifer: Is that your journal?
Katie: No, it's my Writer's Notebook.
Jennifer: What's the difference? They're both writing, and they're both stupid.
Elizabeth: This is a fun game; there is no blood involved.
Andy: Clearly we have two different definitions of the word "fun." Fun for me always involves blood.
Katie: We do do that.
Sara: Katie Ax said do-do!
Matthew: Katie Ax is wearing a tutu? Um... those are jeans.
Katie: I am not wearing a tutu!
Maintenance Man: What would make a shower head scream?
Amy: Moby [the fish] just ran into a spiderweb.
[Elizabeth had just taken some cough syrup]
Elizabeth: I knew that!
Andy: No you didn't. You're drunk.
Elizabeth: What happened?
[a few days later]
Andy: You're drunk, too.
Katie: But I'm Lutheran; it's allowed.
Jennifer: Katie, it [a dust pan] is used for dirty things. It's ok if people lick it.
Nikki: This is our pet cat.
Courtney: You should hear the story. Really touching. The arts and crafts store was just going to throw him out.
Nikki: So we saved him, but we laminated him when we found out Presley was allergic.
Presley: That's why he's so shiny.
[All three of them are petting a paper cat]
Jennifer: I didn't know if you like feet.
Katie: I don't like them in my nose, but I don't mind them in general.
Jennifer: My toes don't fit in your nose. I have big toes and noses are generally small, but if you lie your nose will grow. So, Katie, you need to say lots of lies, so my toes will fit in your nose.
Katie: Jennifer, you're a weird thing that happens.
Jennifer: I only happened once.
Karissa: Are you guys Apple people?
Katie: No, that's Megan's apple. She asked me to get it for her from the caf.
Karissa: No, I meant are you a Mac or a Windows person?
Katie: Oh, Windows definitely. But I can use Macs.
Holden: Last time we went fishing Christian got his line tangled in mine. I just let my line out so he could untangle them, but he cut my line. When I reeled it in there was nothing there. He stole my hook!
Christian: He hit me in the face with a basketball. He just threw it in the dark and it hit me in the face.
Holden: He beat me up with a bowling pin.
Christian: But he found a pool noodle.
[Unfortunately, I really believe these hold at least some elements of the truth]
Danielle: I love fire, but I hate ovens. They scare me. It's so hot in there.
Dr. Z: People don't suffocate on Saran Wrap with other people around.
[We didn't test this theory]
Jennifer: Cheese [pronounced "Cheeth"] is so much better than Twilight.
Jennifer: We should make a movie as a suite.
Andy: It should be a musical.
Jennifer: I was thinking more like a horror musical.
Elizabeth: I'm in charge of the fake blood!
Nikki: Andy's in charge of side effects. I mean sound effects.
Amy: OOOH! I'll kill Liz!
Allyson: What did the popsicle go best the peanut butter?
Nikki: Did you just mess up the joke and the punch line's in there?
Nikki: I think you did. You're on drugs. [Legal, prescription ones]
Allyson: Wait! What kind of fish goes best with peanut butter? That was the joke on my popsicle.
Nikki: I don't know.
Allyson: Jelly fish! [Bursts out laughing while Nikki blinks]
Jennifer [on Nikki's facebook wall]: Thanks for the popcycle dart that you kindly threw at my head.
Nikki: Well, whenever I'm finished with my pop-cycle and I'll move on to my rap-cycle and then into my country-cycle to be concluded with my jazz-cycle... oh and maybe I'll have a krunk-cycle... then I'll go to the freezer and grab a popsicle dart and kindly throw it at your head again... in other words... you're welcome.
Andy: AHHH!! STOP talking about your cycles in the presence of men!
Jennifer: I hate rooming with English majors... obviously I can't spell because that POPSICLE dart hit me right in the temple and you could care less.
Nikki: Touche. My aim, it is too accurate. Almost in a mathematical sense, wouldn't you say?
Elizabeth: Now put your back arms on the pool noodle--
Katie: What do I do with my front arms?
Katie: Jamee actually updates her blog.
Kevin: You know what's funny? I updated mine, what, three times over the summer and I have five new followers. Katie updates hers everyday--
Katie: Not everyday!
John: Every other day, excuse us! You know, I might delete mine. It just takes too much thought and energy.
Kevin: I hate those two things!