Allyson: I had to put studs in my ears because my right ear was growing up.
Jennifer: Really? Getting more mature, too?
Katie: Is it going to graduate high school?
Andy: Katie, go home.
Katie: I am home. You can leave.
Nikki: The way Katie plays with hair stresses me out.
Nikki: NO PDA!
Elizabeth: That wasn't PDA! He blew a raspberry on my cheek! There's no affection!
Katie: Nikki, I find it really easy to appreciate you when I don't see you.
Katie [voice]: Andy, if you're in the bathroom for more than five minutes, I'm calling 911.
[Five minutes later]
Katie [text]: It's been five minutes. I'm calling 911.
Andy [text]: I am 911!
Katie [voice]: ANDY!
Andy [voice... from the bathroom]: What?
Katie: This boy's been in my bathroom for more than five minutes.
Katie: You guys can come to my wedding, but it won't be dry.
Jennifer: Then I'm bringing a poncho.
Matt: Missions is praying, giving, and going. If you're not a missionary, you're a mission field.
Nikki: Half the things they talk about in that song we don't do on campus. ["Cheats" by Carrie Underwood]
Katie: Break into cars. Slash tires.
Andy: Listen to country music.
Amber: Is it weird that I don't like being complemented on my interpreting because I don't want to interpret?
Katie: No. It's like me being complemented on my poetry.
Elizabeth: Katie, while you're just standing there, would you make some chocolate chip cookies please? [We don't have an oven]
Elizabeth: Why can't we just defrost the dough in the oven?
Nikki: Because the oven is not a defroster.
Elizabeth: Then put them in the microwave.
Amy: This IS college! I'll call my mom. Mom, this is an emergency! Do we have to thaw the cookie dough before we make them? The directions say to thaw completely but we want cookies NOW!
Katie: I color my hair so I don't get confused for my sister.
Nikki: I never get confused for my sister. Mostly because I'm twice her size.
Jennifer: Dye it--
Allyson: Guys, it sounds and feels like there's a thunderstorm in my stomach.
Jennifer: Oooh! I want to hear it!
Katie: Is there lightning too?
Nikki: Katie, I don't understand you sometimes. I wish I were you sometimes.
Church member: Where's your baby?
New Father: We took her back.
College student: Did you get your money back?
New Father: No, you always lose money on those kinds of things.
Nikki: I'd like to make an announcement: It's the day before Tuesday. It's Monday.
Katie: What does it say?
Stephen: Avada Kedavra.
Sara: You just killed Katie Ax!
Katie: AHHH! That's ok. God gave me new life.
Katie: Better [dropping a computer] on a glass table than on my head.
Amy: Make origami.
Katie: I don't know how to make any origami that's pretty.
Jennifer: Like me.
Katie: If I knew origami, I would make a pretty you. Or if I were your parents.
Jennifer, Amy: What did you say?
Katie: I said what you thought I said.
Amy: You said, 'your pants?'
Denaj: Jesus is a great editor.
Matt: God wouldn't expect you to do the impossible.
Katie: I'm donating blood tomorrow.
Andy: Are you going to let me start your IV?
Katie: Are you going to be there?
Katie: Then no.
Andy: Do you have good veins?
Katie [rolling up my sleeve to look]: Yes?
Andy: I could hit them with a needle from across the room. Yes!
Jennifer: I want to say something funny so you will write it in your nerdy notebook.
Nikki, Katie: That doesn't count.
David: Slim pickins.
Heather: Good thing God doesn't say that about us!
Rob: God will move mountains if we're willing to put in the shovel.
Jonathan Martin: If you ask for the fire of God to fall down, just be prepared because you never know what you're going to get.
Katie: ... yogurt out the wazoo.
Nikki: Ew! I don't eat yogurt from the wazoo.
Jennifer: What's a wazoo?
Nikki: I think it's some secret anatomical place.
Katie: Ask Andy.
Jennifer: He would know: he's a wa who lives in a zoo.
Jonathan Martin: What have you done today without expecting anything in return?
Jennifer: Katie, you're lamo kablamo. Put on your wrinkle shirt and lick a bone!
Katie: I'm going to go to my room. People like me there.
Nikki: Katie, there's no one in there.
Katie: Your point?
Katie: It smells like campfire in here.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm straightening my hair.
Katie: Did you do anything fun today?
Andy: No, I didn't [because] I didn't work today. BUT! I did sign up for some EMS hours.
Nikki: Vulnerability and transparency. They're yucky and they're good. They're like vegetables.
By the way, I gave in and am now on Twitter (@KatieAx3), so you can follow our suite bantering in real-time and see quotes that inspire me throughout the day.
Happy Wednesday! I pray no one is drowning in the Snowpocalypse.