Dear 2011

Dear 2011,

The ball has dropped.  My school friends have all welcomed you with open arms.  They say your first five minutes are great!

But I'm stuck in the past.  It's still 2010 here.  My pomegranate martini has yet to be concocted.  We're having our pizza dinner in my grandparents' kitchen as we wade out the last hour.  We smell like bowling alley.  It's tradition.

Yet I can't help but wonder, where will I be next year?  What will you bring me, 2011?  An apartment or must I hang that new Christmas wreath on my bedroom door?  A job?  More school?  A pair of lips to find mine at midnight?

One this is certain: you bring change.  "The other home" will no longer be a three-bedroom apartment with five of my favorite girls.  Will "the real home" still be the purple bedroom I outgrew years ago?

I saw a poster on clearance at Hobby Lobby that read:

Change: It's not only inevitable; it's vital to survival.

I should have bought it. 

We're ringing in a year of change.  We're trust falling into the arms of God.

May you, 2011, draw us all closer to Him.  Always.

Be nice to us 2011. 

We come with fear; you bring the unknown.
We come with trust; you bring His grace.
We bring ourselves; you let Him do marvelous things with all that we are.

Sincerely,
(I would say, "Love," but I don't know you yet, but I could love you if I knew you)

Katie
and the rest of the Ax Family

"Two in the Bed and the Little One Said..."

Everyone was still over watching Glee one Thursday night last year, but I had a different agenda: avoid the sixteen people in the living room and get to bed.

I accomplished my mission and was ready to head into dream-world when the bedroom door opened, shining light into my dark room.  I thought it was my roommate.  Until I saw a head pop up at the foot of my bed.  I slept in a loft last year, just far enough away from the ceiling that I could sit straight up.  The only people that climbed up there were me and whoever was attached to the head at the foot of my bed.

The head became shoulders and she army crawled towards me.

"Katie," she hissed.  "Are you asleep?"

I considered faking it, but I could not stifle my laughter.

"I didn't get a good night hug."

Melia crawled all of the way up to the head of my bed, gave me a hug, crawled backwards, and tried to climb down the ladder.  The ladder was built for me, and I am literally eight inches taller than she is.

This started a long-standing joke about how Melia was going to sleepover one night and sleep in my bed.

"I get the wall," she always called.  If someone was falling six feet out of bed, it was going to have to be me.

Over the summer, we shared a double bed one night.  But there was no wall side.

Last weekend, we had three friends visit us, all of whom needed places to sleep.  Our futon folds down to sleep two, but the third was out of luck.

Katie: Melia can sleep with me.
Melia: Seriously?
Katie: As long as I get the wall.

My bed is only four feet off of the ground this year, but that's still not a fall I want to make.

On Sunday night, Melia and I jumped into my bed and were pleasantly surprised to discover we both fit.  We had an agreement.  If either one of us couldn't sleep, we were going to take a spare blanket and sleep on the loveseat.  No hurt feelings.

Jennifer: If you guys can't sleep, wake me up.  One of you can sleep in my bed, and I'll sleep on the floor."

Jennifer seriously can sleep anytime, anywhere.  There are nights I'm up working on homework with the light on, music playing, and paper shuffling when I look over and notice she is asleep.

Melia: Do you have enough space?
Katie: Yup.  Do you have enough pillow?
Melia: Yes.  If I get too hot, I'm just going to do what I did this summer and throw all of the covers on you.
Katie: Perfect!

In the morning, Melia and I compared notes.  We both slept well.  I wasn't cold, first time ever.  The only real challenge was rolling over, but I only got poked in the eye once.

Jennifer had different notes.  She got a horrible night's sleep.  Quite possibly because she was afraid she would wake one of us up if she rolled over.  Now that's selflessness!  To be afraid to roll over at night because one of the girls in the other bed might wake up.

<>< Katie

Silly String and Stonings

For my birthday, Melissa gave me the same thing she has given me every year for the past plethora of years: purple silly string. This year, it got opened in "God's front yard" aka the church coffee shop. Naturally, it was mere seconds before we were all covered with purple silly string. Christian was out of the room.

We saw him returning, and I hid around the corner, but he saw my shadow.  Suspicious but unaware of my dangerous weapon, he refused to enter.  After a short impasse, I ran out at him.

"Don't you--"

It was too late.  I, Katie Ax, have showered a pastor with purple silly string in the church atrium.  Of course, Christian wasn't going to let me get away that easily.  He nearly tackled me to usurp the silly string.  I've been in enough "fights" at church to know the woman's bathroom is no sanctuary (pun intended).  Besides, there was no way I was going to outrun him.  And this is still church even if it is Monday night.

Flight wasn't an option.  How do you fight silly string?  I went for the third, less famous option: fetal position.  I fell to the ground in hopes of taking the "tornado position," but I klunked my head on the floor (carpet-covered concrete, in case anyone was ever wondering).  I flailed around for a minute before resolving myself to the fetal position.  We were both laughing.

All of the sudden, Christian's face turned serious.  "And neither do I condemn you.  Go and sin no more."  And he walked away.

I know the relief I felt that minute was absolutely nothing compared to the relief the adulterous woman felt when Jesus told her the same words some two-thousand years ago.  You see, she faced something far worse than silly string.  She faced death by stoning.

We don't know a lot about her.  We know she was caught in adultery.  We don't know where the man is.  We know the Pharisees cared more about trapping Jesus than they did about this woman.  We know Jesus gave her life.

According to the law given by Moses, the punishment for unfaithfulness was death.

We know Jesus showed her mercy.

Mercy: God not giving you what you deserve.

We know know Jesus showed her forgiveness.

Forgiveness: Saying "Yes, what you did was wrong, but I'm going to put it behind us.  I wish you well."

We know Jesus gives us the same.

"And neither do I condemn you," He says.  "Go and sin no more."

And unlike Christian with my silly string, Christ will never seek retaliation.

<>< Katie

PS: Thanks for all of the birthday wishes.  Tuesday's post had a record number of comments: five.  :-)

Major Parking Lot Incident

A few years ago, my family went on vacation.  Dad's our pack mule and therefore moving the suitcases into the hotel is his job.  Naturally, he commandeered one of those bell hop carts most hotels have.  We helped him unload the van and load the cart.  Six suitcases, two computer bags, five backpacks, three purses, a brief case, eight jackets, seven shoes... the cart was loaded.  Full.  I don't think we could have fit another bag on it if we tried.

It was only at that point we discovered the problem: the sidewalk.  There was no ramp into the hotel.  We were going to have to take the cart over the curb.  Not a problem, we had Super Dad.  He backed the cart up a bit and prepared for his task at hand.

"Ramming speed," he said, running towards the curb.  The cart bounced onto the sidewalk and directly into a plant.

"BUSH!"  I shouted.  There was no way he could see over the eighty-seven bags.

"Push?"  He repeated, doing as he said.

"No!  BUSH.  Like the president," I clarified.

"Reverse," he said, pulling the cart backwards, off the curb.  He realigned it so as to avoid the bush that may forever grow with a big dent in it.

"Ramming speed."  He wasn't so lucky the second time.  The wheel hit the curb and the entire cart fell over, toppling all of our bags onto the ground.

As luck would have it, another van drove by at that exact moment.  They waved.  Dad's face turned red.  We women were rolling.

Of course, we had to unload the cart, put it on the sidewalk, and then reload it.  Someone took the front as we helped Dad navigate (naviget?) through the hotel and up to our rooms.  Still laughing, we passed a maid in the hallway.

"Everything ok?"  She asked.

"Yup.  We just had a minor incident in the parking lot," Dad said, brushing it off.

"Actually, we just had a major parking lot incident," Mom corrected.

Bell hop carts make my heart smile.

<>< Katie

Rock Climbing

It's Pastor Russ's birthday today, so that means it's time to tell me favorite Pastor Russ story.  OK, so I have a lot of favorite Pastor Russ stories and quotes ("Don't be naked; it's dumb to be naked; wear clothes in the shower"), but this is the best that's not a "you had to be there" story.  I've told it a million times, and I've blogged it before.  (Side note: that blog was the first time I ever got a comment.  Thanks, Drums!)  It's one of those stories I'll be telling for the rest of my life, so I don't feel bad about telling it again.  If you've heard it before (or read it before), enjoy it again.

While I was in high school my youth group took a day trip to an indoor rocking climbing course.  Most of the climbs were set up on an auto belay system so anyone could do them.  Belayer and climber both clip in and they're good to go.  The belayer is even clipped to the ground just in case the heavier climber slips.  This is great for light-weight belayers like me who are at risk for flying into the air when their climber takes a misstep.  It's really inconvenient for both of you to be dangling in the air; trust me.

Anyway, this particular day I'd done most of the easier climbs and decided I wanted more of a challenge.  Eyeing up a climb in the corner, I opted to try it.  I vaguely remembered climbing this one years earlier as a younger child and I didn't make it all the way up.  I wanted to go for it again and this time make it to the ceiling.  There was one problem: this climb was challenging enough that it wasn't an auto belay for your average amateur belayer.  I needed to find someone certified to correctly tie in my harness and belay for me.  Lucky for me, Pastor Russ, one of our chaperones, was ready and willing to do that.

Trying to make conversation instead of standing there awkwardly while he tied in my harness, I was teasing that since he tied me in he was responsible for my falling and breaking a leg.  I said, "Now, if I fall, it's your fault."

He smiled and said, "If you fall, it's not my fault, but I'll catch you."

I wasn't really scared to try this climb but that was incredibly reassuring.

Isn't that was Jesus says to us on a regular basis: "If you fall, it's not my fault, but I'll catch you."  It's not His fault that we've messed up, but we've done it and He's here to clean up the mess.  It's not His fault when we stumble; it's His hand with the firm grasp on our arm to catch us.

"If you fall, it's not my fault, but I'll catch you."
Let Him whispered that truth into your life today.

By the way, after slipping a few times, I did make it to the top of that climb, but I couldn't have done it on my own.

<>< Katie

Dreamer

My sister sent me a message that said, "Look, it's you!" Along with the link to an article about a man who screams bizarre statements while sleeping.

Yes, I do talk in my sleep. However, unlike the man in the article, I don't have a wife (or husband or roommate) to write down my weird night-time quotes. While I do record the dreams I remember in the morning, I will not be putting a tape recorder in my bedroom at night. Instead, I'll be forever doomed to remember my classic line, "NO, DADDY, I DON'T WANNA WEAR THOSE PANTS!"

I've got a wide variety of dreams. Some of them very creative like the dream about turning into a shoe (that's going to become a short story for class). Sometimes they make me nervous. The dream about taking a long fall off of a pier and into a field of cat tails made me nervous because I sleep on the top bunk... But I was relieved to wake up still in bed! I have learned that if I'm having a nightmare/ super weird dream, I'm probably cold. Well, I'm almost always cold no matter how many layers I wear and our air conditioned apartment isn't helping. Thus, I've had a lot of weird dreams lately.

I firmly believe God still speaks through dreams and the other night he caught my attention again.

The other night I had this dream where my "uncle" had gone blind. At first we were all fed up with his new loss of sight because he was running everywhere without a real care. However, eventually we accepted it.

When I woke up, I thought some more about it. Just because he lost his sight doesn't mean he was living his life in fear. If I lost my sight, I'd be scared to move, but he was flying everywhere, not afraid to fall. Without sight, he had no fear.

Without sight of Gods' plans, do you have fear? Are you willing to fall? Are you willing to fail? Are you willing to be lifted up again?

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."
2 Timothy 5:7 (emphasis mine)

<>< Katie

"If you fall, it's not my fault, but I'll catch you." - Rastor Puss

Since today's Rastor Puss' birthday and it's been awhile since I updated, I felt it was only appropriate to share a God-moment involving him.

Last summer, I took a field trip with my youth ministry to a rock climbing park in our area. It was quite the adventure! We had been having a blast watching each other climb the rocks. One girl made it all the way to the top for the first time! Another got further than she ever had! It was a blast! I really think Rastor Puss has one of the best jobs because that week he got to hang out with youth until well past 9pm on Sunday then go rock climbing on Monday, heck why does he have an office? (Something about preaching five sermons that weekend, oh yeah...) Anyway, Rastor Puss, the expert rock climber in our group, had been flying around like Spiderman (hence his new name) and we were all quite impressed. I wanted to try a harder climb than I had done that day and it was not set up with an auto belay like everything else I had worked with that day. Rastor Puss tied me into the harness and I was teasing him that if I came crashing to the ground and fell it was his fault because he had tied me in. His interpreted what I said to mean if I slipped on the rocks and began to fall.

"If you fall, it's not my fault, but I'll catch you," he responded.

I wasn't really scared but his words really encouraged me to keep climbing knowledgeable to the fact that even if I slipped, I would not be crashing to the ground.

How often do we fear falling and God has to remind us to trust Him? With Him on the other end of the belay, we won't come crashing to the ground. Ever. If we fall, it's not His fault, but He'll catch us.

<>< Katie

"Trust in the Lord forever for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal."
Isaiah 26:4