Thriving in Exile

"Take off anything you're wearing that has any value, monetary or sentimental," my small group leader Natalie announced.

The faces of six freshmen girls expressed confusion as we obediently began to remove necklaces, belts, and ear rings.

"Take off your jackets.  Your sweatshirts," she continued.  I'm sure if she could have stripped us down to our underwear, she would have just to prove her point.  She did once come to small group in a bathrobe to demonstrate Isaiah's walking around naked for three years (see Isaiah 20).

"We're going into Babylonian exile," she explained.
"Should we bring our Bibles?"
"Your what?"

She then led us out in a January icy drizzle while she played the role of the Babylonians and we were the Israelites.  When we began to shiver, she let us back inside.  Ironically, she accidentally tripped on the sidewalk symbolizing the fall of Babylon.

Looking through the Bible, there are a lot of people who experience exile.  Personally, I've never spent a significant amount of time being oppressed and exiled.  Unless you count being a Lutheran in Baptist Country.  They're usually nice to me if I keep my mouth shut about alcohol and original sin, but let's use it as an example.

I heard a speaker the other day talk about exile.

"The question is not 'Why are we in exile?' or 'How do we get out of exile?'" he explained.  "The question is, 'What is God up to in exile?'"

What is God up to in exile?

What is God up to in your life, wherever you may be?  Sometimes there are things God needs to do in your life that He can only do while you're in exile.

Some Biblical examples of exile show the strengthening of faith while being removed from that which is comfortable.  Here in Baptist Country I've been forced to contemplate and question why I believe in infant baptism, why I don't have a problem drinking wine, and that whole in-with-and-under thing (that I'm still working on).  Things I probably would have simply accepted forever had I not been sent here.

When Daniel experienced his exile (see Daniel 1), his name and the names of all of his friends were changed.   Daniel became Belteshazzar (please name your son that).  Hanniniah, Mishael, and Azariah became Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  Their Hebrew names celebrating God's faithfulness were replaced with pagan names.

My name too was changed.  My often mutilated three syllable last name has been axed to two letters.  A pagan name; a murder weapon.  Rack, Shack, and Benny let that one go.  As have I.  To some, I will forever be only Katie Ax.  I think I'm ok with that.  Like Rack, Shack, and Benny, I have to pick my battles.  I'd much rather people realize I'm still a Christian than know I have a whole last name.

God has done (and is doing) some cool things here in my exile.  He even pulled me through a near-hypodermic small group experience.

What's He doing in your exile?  What's He doing in your life right now?

<>< Katie

PS: If you know my whole last name... do NOT post it in the comments section or I will delete your comment.

Double the Mistake

There are about a million birthdays in April. Some of them I was able to write birthday blogs for but some of them I had to miss. If you didn't get one, I am incredibly sorry. Please, don't take it personally. :-)

Today's is a birthday I cannot miss. I'm often complemented on how I can see God in all sorts of weird ways and call them "God Moments." I haven't always been able to do that. Through a year's worth of God moments of her own, I was able to copy Natalie's lead and see God in little, weird things. Trust me, if you think some of my God moments are weird, ask Natalie about He spoke through the chemistry principle of microscopic reverse or anything else that relates to sports, science, and the bathroom.

Thus, for her birthday, I'd love to share one of her God moments. The problem is that I need to find a censored one that is appropriate for such a wide reading audience. Not mortifying Natalie isn't quite an option. Hey, she's the one that showed up to small group wearing a bathrobe to demonstrate how Isaiah walked around naked for three years (see Isaiah 20). She's the one that took our small group on Babylonian exile through the icy rain. She's the one that burned two bagels in less than a half an hour. She's the one that broke two fingers playing flag football.

After a few days of pain, Natalie finally decided she should go to the doctor for her two injured fingers. The identical x-rays were hanging side-by-side and, as she tells it, the doctor was looking from one to the other to her to her hands with a confused look on his face.
Doctor: These are two different fingers.
Natalie: Yes, sir.
Doctor: These are two different hands.
Natalie: Yes, sir.
Doctor: Please tell me this was the same play.
Natalie: No, sir.
She'd been playing a co-ed game of flag football here on campus when she reached for the flag of one of her opponents.  She got the flag but she also got her right hand tangled in his shorts.  Broken right middle finger.  She's broken enough bones to realize what she'd done but is way too competitive to remove herself from the game.  Besides, if she benched herself her team would have to forfeit.  A little while later she reached for her opponent's flag with her left hand and the exact same thing happened again.  Broken finger on the left hand.  Any sensible person would have learned her lesson and forced her team for forfeit the game.  She'd already not just taken one for the team but two.  Nope, Natalie kept playing.  In fact, she even scored a touchdown with two broken fingers; she said she carried the ball clutched between her forearms and her chest as she waddled towards the end zone.

By Monday at small group time she'd be amused by the identical x-rays and had two splints on her fingers. 
Apparently the flesh-colored splints make it look like her fingers were wearing hoodies, so she drew faces on her fingernails.  The right-hand one became Jesus and the left-hand one became John the Baptist.  Imagine Laura's reaction (her faithful co-leader who frequently reminded her "Be censored, Natalie!").  It went something like, "NATALIE!  You cannot flip someone off with Jesus!"

Thus was my small group freshman year, and as is common for Natalie, God spoke through such a bizarre series of events.

She went on to talk about how sometimes she makes the same mistake twice.  Sometimes she puts bagels in the oven and forgets about them until they're burned to chars and sometimes she does it again ten minute later.  Sometimes she burns two bagels again two weeks later.  Sometimes she breaks two fingers in the same football game.  Sometimes she had to make the same mistake twice before God gets her attention.  Do we do the same thing?  Are we so caught up in what we're doing that we forget to pay attention to what we're doing? That we forget to pay attention to God?

Luckily, there is good news for us.  Even out of her mistake of breaking fingers, God was still able to do something remarkable when He helped her score.  He can still do pretty cool things with our double-mess ups.  And frankly, I think that's a darn good thing.

I love you guys.  A lot.
<>< Katie

Words are my Friends

We interrupt this program to bring you some important information...
First off, I got sick of the dots.  What do you think of the new page?  I'm still not completely happy with it.
Secondly, I can't find spell check on this new blogger.  Five points if you can tell me where it is.
Thirdly, I had already written this blog when I heard this quote.  It needs to be shared.

"It doesn't matter what you've heard, impossible is not a word. It's just a reason for someone not to try." - Kutless in their song "What Faith Can Do"

And now back to your feature presentation...

I don't think I'm alone in this, but to me words have connections. Typically it's the first time I heard/understood them but it's also when a word is very well used that it forms an association in my brain.  Some of them were teacher-enforced (Prussia: big army), but most of them aren't.

Here are some examples:

• "Gregarious" will forever be associated with my dad's friend Greg who kept talking, preventing Dad from helping me study for my 9th grade vocabulary test.
• "Gumption" will always remind me of a homeless man requesting a fish sandwich.
• "Vulnerable" always takes me back to 8th grade history when we were forced to memorize "Vulnerable: exposed or unprotected."
• "Verbose" is my former headmaster.
• "Vex" is what my flying monkey does to Bob.

Do you have words that are only associated with God?  Besides the typical church-y words like "holy" and "divine" I can't think of any off of the top of my head.  I'm sure there are some, so I'll keep thinking.

Some words have connections, and some people have favorite words.  We all know Melissa loves "plethora" and "fruition," but what about everyone else?  Personally, I'm always looking for a great excuse to use the word "brouhaha."  Mark (the mortician) loves the word "ointment."  Most of my school friends like to hear me say words like "Chicago" and "pansy" because they emphasize my accent.  Five points to anyone (who isn't Natalie) that can correctly use the word "perspicacity" without looking it up.  Do you have a favorite word?

The psalmist did.  In Psalm 75 he(?) admits God's name is his favorite word.

"We thank You, God, we thank You.  Your name is our favorite word, Your mighty works are all we talk about." (Ps. 75:1 MSG)

Does this verse ring true in your life?  Is God's Name your favorite word?  Is it even a part of your active vocabulary?  What is your favorite name for Him?

In my Bible (yes, the Message today, sorry) it doesn't say which name for God is used here.  My guess would be "Elohim."  Personally, that's not my favorite name for God.  I'm a bit partial to "Abba" or the Aramaic for "Daddy." 

Just like in different situations we need different words because of their associations and connotations, at different points in our life we need names for God.  What name do you need today?

<>< Katie

Movie Review: Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

It's not a big secret: I collect quotes. Silly quotes, serious quote, life-changing quotes, awkward quotes, words of wisdom, and down right ridiculous... They're written everywhere: in the middle of notes of class, on post-it notes littering my room, in the margins of books, in my email, on my hand, on my blog... They really should all be in my Writer's Notebook, but they aren't. Instead I have them all saved in a powerpoint attached with photos for your (my?) viewing pleasure. Well, "had" might be a better choice of words; the powerpoint disappeared with my thumb drive. I've come up with many of them like "the plotline of Acts looks like an EKG" (you would, Natalie) and "I wish my name ended in an 'A'" (Melissa). Unfortunately, some other quotes have been lost forever. To combat this tragic loss, I am slowly rebuilding my quotes collection. Here is the latest addition: 

"I've been introduced many times in my life and that was the most... recent." - Mark

Actually, that one is about six hours outdated now. My real newest quote is:

"All stories, even our favorites, must come to an end. This allows for new stories to begin."

It's one of the opening lines to Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.  I'm not a big movie-watcher because finding an entertaining, enjoyable, clean, not super-sappy movie is an almost impossible task.  I own literally ten movies (I just counted; eighteen if you include VeggieTales).  However, I found a good one that will be added to my personal collection next time I'm brave enough to peruse the vicious $5 bin at Wal-mart.

The other day Andy, Elizabeth, and I (all of us at least 20) popped in Mr. Magorium and were completely enthralled.  Sure, the movie is aimed at kids but it's great for parents, too.  It's shallow enough for a child to play but deep enough for an elephant to drown (a professor once said that about the Gospel of John).

Basic plot summary: legendary owner of a magical toy store dies and his heir has to decide if she wants to continue the tradition or close up shop.

Except it's a whole lot deeper than that.  This movie includes themes like peacefully accepting death, making the most life, and beliving in oneself.  Honestly, a movie that begins with a great quote about stories can hardly be bad.  "All stories, even our favorites, must come to an end. This allows for new stories to begin." Wow. 

I don't give a lot of movie recommendations, but I highly recommend you go watch this movie.

<>< Katie

Assembly Line

We were working hard packing bags getting ready for the arrival of newcomers today! We set up an assembly line that didn't always work the best. One side worked faster than the other. Of course, the slower side ran out of materials more often. Plus, there was minimal transportation from the end of the line to the next section. Every time we got into a routine, it was broken in about four bags when someone felt their job was insignificant and felt their time would be better spent elsewhere. The removal of a single person from a ten-person assembly line really screws things up. Even if they just went to get more materials.

I'm glad we're not on God's assembly line where we're just shuffled haphazardly from one spot to another. Believe it or not, God doesn't just have a people assembly line when He creates us either. Each one of us is hand-crafted by God. We're not generic. God doesn't throw a handful of confidence, a little compassion, and, oops, forgot the charisma into our personalities. He creates each of us individually with specific amounts of everything to be exactly the way He wants us. Thus making each and every one of us different but none more loved than another.

In the words of the David Crowder*Band, "You make everything glorious, and I am Yours. What does that make me?"

My friends Laura and Natalie are on my heart and mind today because I saw Natalie and can't wait to see Laura on Monday! Laura is filled with compassion but sometimes lacks confidence in front of large groups of people. Natalie has no problem speaking in front of people but admits she often fails in the compassion department. (That's why the two of them made such a great team last year! I'm going to miss my small group! :-)) They're two very different people but both of them were hand-crafted by God. If I wanted to know how God can speak through just about anything, I'd ask Natalie. If I wanted to know how to help my hurting friend, Laura's my girl! Two different people, both Godly women. Both stupendous!

You are also hand crafted by God. How cool is that?

<>< Katie

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

I spent about twenty-four hours with my friend Laura and her family. I had a lot of fun and I thought I'd share some thoughts with you all (although, I'm not really sure who "you all" are... LURKERS: IDENTIFY THINESELVES!)

A museum is nothing more than a zoo with dead animals. Ok, I did learn some fun stuff, and we took some fun photos. But really: think about it. Did you know giraffes have the longest intestines of any animal? Did you know kruos is the Greek word for "icy cold"? (Don't lie to me, even Natalie didn't know that!) I also learned about some lions that terrorized workers attempting to build a railroad in Africa in the 1800s.

A pregnant woman came up to us today asking for money. She said she was trying to get to a domestic violence shelter but was four dollars short. I always hate it when people come up asking for money because it's so hard to tell if they're telling the truth or if they just want to buy some crack... Even though her speech sounded rehearsed, this woman spoke quietly and did seem scared. We gave her five dollars, and she asked God to bless us. Laura's mom reminded us that $5 isn't the end of the world for us but $5 could mean the world to her. How she uses the money isn't up to us, but we can pray she was indeed seeking help.

Train and Trolley life is not for my family. Other than the germs, I didn't mind it too much. My dad, on the other hand, would have been going nuts today, and it made me laugh. It was fun to watch people run and mosey through the train station. It was kind of like an airport. Given my choice, however, I prefer airplanes to trains.

Little kids are adorable! Ok, I knew that, but still. I saw some kids today refuse an Oreo cookie from their aunt! I wanted eat their cookies for them! Some little American kid was using like the German word for "mischief" but I forgot it already, sorry!

If you're ever bored or want to see some interesting folk: ride the trolley around a big city for an hour and you will see a mass of people! There are people going every which way (and sometimes even loose). All with different things on their minds, different deadlines to meet, and different destinations. Yet their paths cross momentarily on the sidewalk and it's really fun to watch. In the words of Kutless, "I see the city lights all around me. Everyone's obscure. Ten million people each with their problems. Whys should anyone? and in Your eyes I can see I'm not just a man that is lost in this world. Lost in a sea of faces." Yup. That just about sums it up.

I overheard some guy telling someone else on the phone that he'd have to keep an ID on him at all times just in case he violated his parole. The man sitting near me remembered this (after hearing it from the judge? from experiencing it himself? strange), and he would take the man on the other end of the phone to get a wallet. Interesting conversation to overhear...

Happy travels!

<>< Katie

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

God's Bandaid

I'm starting to feel like Natalie: within ten seconds of me being out of bed this morning God spoke to me. To make it better: it was something kinda science-y. (Or at least body-related). haha

This morning I went to put my contacts in and there was this huge scab right above my eyebrow. It was at least a centimeter in diameter. Yesterday I kept randomly finding blood on my finger but not that much blood and it was nowhere else but this one finger, so I don't have a clue how off the sudden I had this big scab in the middle of my FACE! I have no idea where it came from, but it didn't matter: it need to go away before my final at 8am. I had two choices:
1. Pick it off
2. Attempt to cover it up with makeup.

The first seemed easier, so I started picking off ... God's band aid. Here God was healing some obscure blemish on my face and I was doing everything I could to work against Him.

How often does God start working on something in our lives, we think He's doing it wrong and it's ugly, so we do everything in our power to change it. Sometimes we try to cover it up. Other times we try and undo everything He's doing. Either way: we think He's wrong and we're right. After all, could He have any idea what having a huge bloody scab on my face could do to my entire day? Of course He knows, but He knows the healing will make it all worth it in the end.

Sorry, that was a bit more graphic than I'm sure you wanted, but come on: was it anything we don't do? At least I was in my room and not in the bathroom! (Right, Natalie? :-))

<>< Katie

"Look at the nations and watch—and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. " Habakkuk 1:5

Let God Shine

After a great coffee talk with Laura, Chelsy, Heather, Christa, Annie, Morgan, Liz, Natalie, and Russell I made a pit-stop on the way into the caf. I then felt like Natalie because God spoke to me while I was in the bathroom. :-)

I was in the ladies' bathroom in the top of the caf building (side note: that bathroom is so awkward!) and I was looking at the granite counter top. I'm pretty sure they installed them backwards.

Most granite has certain fish-scale like sparkles that can be seen only on one side. Most people are oblivious to this fact. In fact, the installer and owner of the company that installed our granite had never heard of this before. Looking at the granite from one direction it looks normal. Beautiful, but nothing extraordinary. Going to the other side of our island, the granite pops! The flakes catch the light just right and it shines! (Sometime when you're at my house, ask me to show it to you because it's kind of hard to explain). When we installed our counters, we asked that the sparkle side be facing toward the dinette--or out so all of our guests could see it--instead of towards the kitchen--or in to where we could see it.

I was looking at the counter tops in the bathroom and God said,
"Katie, sometimes you're kind of like the backwards granite counter top. I'm always there just like the sparkles but I'm facing in. You've got your counter top turned around so you're keeping the sparkles to yourself. You don't let the world see see Me shine; you keep Me to yourself."

It made me think of Christina's favorite song growing up: "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it... Hide it under a bushel? NO... I'm gonna let it shine... Don't let Satan blow it out... I'm gonna let is shine."

Are you letting your Sparkles shine or are you keeping them all to yourself?

In Christ,
<>< Katie

"For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ." 2 Corinthians 4:6

One Volunteer Hour Closer to Graduation

Our small group has been planning these afternoon volunteer trips to the nursing home near our school. Honestly, the elderly are out of my comfort zone so I've opted not to go. I was talking to Laura about it the other day and she ran the guilt trip, "It's a really good way to give back." Yes, I know, but that doesn't mean I like it! There are other ways to give back then just working with the elderly! Well... needless to say, she finally got me to come.

As Laura and I were walking to her car I said a quick prayer in my head,
"Lord, You know this isn't my favorite thing to do but bless this time. Make this trip worth my while, and, please, if at all possible, don't push me too far out of my comfort zone. Amen." Short and sweet. :-)

Laura and I met up with Natalie, who'd already been working there for awhile. We ran around the building playing "Marco Polo" looking for her. Just kidding, but only a little... Laura and I did walk in circles for a good five minutes (You'd think we'd have learned from the river adventure... not so much).

We found Natalie and the festival we were supposed to be helping out with had just finished. The lady was unsure what exactly to have us do and finally she said,
"Well, I have a job for you, but it involves a lot of writing."

Natalie admitted that was fine and she got us settled. She had us working on some paperwork that didn't really involve A LOT of writing. Either way, when she handed us those pens, I knew God had heard (and answered) my prayer. He understood I wasn't comfortable with the elderly so He found another job we could do and still give back the community. How great is our God? :-D Just because He forces us outside of our comfort zones doesn't mean He deserts us there. He walks us through every step of the way (and sometimes we have to walk in the same place more than once, right, Laura?). He won't give you more than you can handle (like some little old lady you can't understand with her heavy drawl).

I'm glad sacrificed part of an afternoon when I could have (should have) been studying. I'm also glad I got to play with pens all afternoon instead of people. My efforts were worthwhile, I am now one hour closer to graduation, and I stepped out of my comfort zone. (Ok, I feel like a certain gym teacher talking about comfort zones... I'm done now).

Yes, I will confess God has spoken to me in an unusual fashion: elderly and pens.
This is my God moment for the week. :-)

<>< Katie

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

Burnt Bagels and Broken Fingers

So many birthdays lead to so many updates!

Yesterday was Natalie's birthday. I couldn't decide what Natalie story to tell and to still "be censored" (to quote Laura one small group). For some reason Natalie's stories always end of in one of three places: sports, science, or the bathroom. Did you know God can speak through the chemistry Principle of Microscopic Reverse? How about getting your eyebrows waxed? Using the same bathroom stall repeatedly? He's God and He can do anything but that doesn't mean He needs to speak through spell check. In hearing from Natalie how God speaks through bathrobes and lip stick, I've come to hear God speaking a lot more clearly through the strangest things.

My friend Natalie is an amazing woman, but sometimes the things she does makes me laugh at her. Natalie dislikes the way a toaster toasts a bagel, so whenever she wants a toasted bagel she has cook it in the oven. One afternoon she decided she wanted a bagel. Well, she put it in the oven and got distracted. She remembered the bagel a little while later and it was literally flaming in her oven. After getting the flames to stop, she realized the scorched bagel was not going to giver her body nutrition; she threw it away and made a second bagel. As luck would have it, poor Natalie did the exact same thing! On the third try she finally was able to have a snack.

A few weeks later, Natalie was playing flag football with a group of people when she once again made the same mistake twice. During a play she was reaching for one of her opponents’ flags when the flag slipped out of her hand and she got her finger caught. A wise choice perhaps would have been to stop playing for the day, but Natalie is way too competitive to bench herself. Instead a few plays later, using the exact same move with her other hand. She succeeded in fracturing two fingers on two different hands during two plays so exact to the point where the x-rays were identical.

Natalie needed to break two fingers in order to stop playing football and burn two bagels in order to pay attention to what she was doing. Sometimes we're incredibly stubborn to the point where we have to make the same mistakes twice before God is able to get our attention.

What does God have to do to get your attention?

<>< Katie

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." Ephesians 4:1