Moral (Ghostwriting Part One)

There's a lot of drama surrounding the authorship of Isaiah. Did Isaiah himself write it or did someone else write it in his name? There are other books of the Bible that have questionable authorship, too. They’re called pseudipigraphal because they’re written in someone else’s tone, style.

To me, it sounds a whole lot like the idea of ghostwriting.

With permission, a ghostwriter takes the thoughts and ideas of an author, puts them on paper in the author’s tone, and signs the author’s name to the article, letter, book, whatever. The thoughts are the author’s; the words are the ghostwriter’s. Some authors have more of a hand in the writing of their work than others.

It’s perfectly legal.

But is it morally right?

Is it right for one person to do the work and someone else get the credit?

I’ve read arguments, Christian and secular, for and against ghostwriting. I have formed my opinion, but before I post it, I want to hear yours.

Let’s hash this out together:

How do you feel about the pseudipigraphal books of the Bible?

As a reader, do you feel cheated to learn the book you read wasn't actually written by the author?

As a ghostwriter, would you feel cheated to see someone else get the credit?

As a ghostwriter, do you want to help authors put into words their concepts, thoughts, ideas?

As a reader, do you want a well-written book or are you ok with less than stellar writing?

Be sure to come back later this week as we continue to unpack the idea of ghostwriting.

<>< Katie

Chinese Christmas

Author's Note: If you followed Amber's and my China blog or talked to us about the trip for more than five seconds, you've probably already heard this story. It's our favorite to tell. In the spirit of Christmas, I'd like to tell it again. Even if you've already read/heard it, enjoy it again. Thanks! <>< Katie

There are exceptions to every rule. The exception to what we could and could not teach in China was more of a loophole. We were not to teach religion that was very clear. We were to teach the English language and American culture. In that was our loophole: Christmas, an American holiday.

One day we taught the secular version in the form of a Christmas party where Santa delivered Christmas presents, we ate candy canes, and we sang Christmas carols. Never have I worn sandals and kapris to a Christmas party before. Neither have I ever helped host a Christmas party in August. Welcome to China.

The following morning, Curt and Vernon were to teach the real Christmas story using a reader’s theater script.

First period had been dismissed when Vernon ran into our classroom, script in hand.

“We didn’t finish,” he said breathlessly. I was not sure if he had run from the hotel or from the classroom next door. “Will you finish it for us?”

Jori and I graciously accepted. The lesson plan we had stayed up all night revising had flopped first hour anyway. Jori revised our lesson again while I skim-read the script.

The sixteen-person class of college students and English teachers took their seats in the horse-shoe we had set up. I prayed silently and began asking them questions about where they’d left off. Jesus had been born and the magi were asking Herod where they could find this new king.

I summarized the remainder of the story being relatively brief since we had another lesson to teach but not so brief so as they could have missed the point. Then Jori and I welcomed questions. This was one of our more talkative classes but we were not in the least prepared for the forty-five minutes of questioning that followed. We ended up scrapping our entire planned lesson to answer their difficult questions.

What happened next?
Why did God choose Mary?
Was Jesus a king?
Joseph was king, right?
Where Mary and Joseph his real parents?
Jesus was killed, right?
So Jesus is a god? What do you mean there are three gods?
How do you believe something you don’t understand?
Does God still speak through dreams like He did to the magi?
Did Jesus talk to special people?
Was Jesus rich?
How do you (as Christians) make decisions?
What is faith?

We were flabbergasted. So many questions don’t have pat answers. While I spoke, Jori prayed. While Jori spoke, I prayed. We both quoted scripture and read directly from the New Testament. So many questions were directly answered by the Holy Spirit speaking through us.

As soon as the class left, Jori and I joined hands and prayed until tears filled our eyes. It was an incredibly humbling experience we were excited to share with our mission team at lunch.

But God wasn’t done.

Two periods later the same students were in a class co-taught by Amber and Juanita who had no knowledge of what happened earlier. They were teaching the five love languages and discussing the love language of giving and receiving gifts. Juanita held an empty gift back and asked the students what they most hoped would be in the bag. Money, food, books, and jewelry were the most common answers. One girl said she wished a Bible would be in the bag. Amber was immediately on the edge of her chair, anxious for the end of class.

Everyone on the mission team had been given a New Testament in Chinese and English to give away. Immediately, Amber knew hers was for this student, Monica. As soon as class was over, Amber approached Monica to ask if she was serious. Monica confirmed she was serious about wanting a Bible, so Amber handed her the New Testament. As per Chinese customs, Monica refused to accept the gift. However, Amber insisted, and Monica got misty-eyed when she accepted it with a huge smile. She was so grateful and so excited! Amber also connected Monica to a woman who attends the local church.

Once morning classes were over, we sought refuge in a classroom to wait out the rain. To Juanita, rain means that God is near. Before heading back to our hotel for lunch we were able to piece together the puzzle and allow God to reveal Himself to us. It had been a rough morning of team disunity yet still the Lord used it ways beyond what we ever imagined!

We were all grateful for loopholes and exceptions. We could not teach religion but we were permitted to answer all questions honestly. We were not permitted to distribute religious materials, but we were able to gift Bibles if the student directly asked for it. Above all, we were grateful for God’s prompting through the necessary loopholes and exceptions to be able to openly speak about Him even in communist China.

Missing Spanish

This is a little weird to be confessing because I never dreamed these words would leave my mouth: I miss Spanish.

When I miss Spanish, I send a letter to Smile or Maria (my Compassion sisters in El Salvador and Columbia). They get a lot of letters.

When I miss Spanish, I pull out my Spanish-English Bible and pray to the God who understands espanglish.

When I miss Spanish, I read about what God is doing in paises hispanohablantes (Spanish-speaking countries).

When I miss Spanish, I seek out every opportunity to use it. From a simple facebook message to a real life conversation with a missionary confined by a language barrier.

The Spanish I miss is not a language learned in a classroom all the way through middle school, high school, and college. It's the ability to make a difference I learned from my community's food pantry, in a dusty school yard in Nicaragua, and through fútbol games in Guatemala.

Why do I confine the ability to make a difference to a language?

Why do I not miss serving the Lord in my mother tongue?

Why does my second language make me more bold? More so, why am I more reserved in English? After all, I don't grasp Spanish nearly as well as I do English which means the opportunity to make a complete fool of myself are all the more numerous.

Yet still I don't care.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be My witnesses, telling people about Me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Acts 1:8 NLT

Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.
That's locally, nationalwide, internationally, and to the ends of the earth.

God, I'm sick of being timid and shy in English. Give me the passion for Your people here in the United States like You've given me for hispanohablantes worldwide. Help me be Your witness right here in "Jerusalem."

<>< Katie

The Most Holy Place

During Bible study one girl made the comment that she is always blown away by the tearing of the temple curtain. Another admitted she was unfamiliar with that aspect of the story of Jesus's death and resurrection.

In ancient Jewish temples, there were different areas where people were permitted or prohibited from traveling based on their religion, gender, and profession.

The Most Holy Place was the most-restrictive area of the temple where only the rabbi was allowed and only once a year on The Day of Atonement. This was so strict that when the rabbi entered The Most Holy Place to make the annual sacrifice, he was required to bathe himself, wear specific linen garments prior to entering and then remove them and re-bathe upon his departure.

The Most Holy Place was considered to be the very presence of God. (Leviticus 16)

When Christ breathed His final breath on the cross, the thick curtain separating The Most Holy Place from the rest of the tabernacle was torn into two.

"Then Jesus shouted out again, and He released His spirit. At that moment the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. The earth shook, rocks split apart, and tombs opened. The bodies of many godly men and women who had died were raised from the dead. They left the cemetery after Jesus’ resurrection, went into the holy city of Jerusalem, and appeared to many people." Matthew 27:50-53 NLT

"Then Jesus uttered another loud cry and breathed His last. And the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. When the Roman officer who stood facing Him saw how He had died, he exclaimed, 'This man truly was the Son of God!'” Mark 15:37-39 NLT

"By this time it was about noon, and darkness fell across the whole land until three o'clock. The light from the sun was gone. And suddenly, the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn down the middle. Then Jesus shouted, 'Father, I entrust My spirit into Your hands!' And with those words, He breathed His last breath." Luke 23:44-46 NLT

There's a lot going on. It's easy to miss. I mean, the Messiah is dead, hello! Roman soldiers are declaring Him the Son of God, saints are being raised, there's a huge earthquake, and it's dark in the middle of the afternoon. Who cares about some curtain way over in the temple tearing?

I do.

With the removal of the curtain, we are able to enter into the presence of the Lord. We are invited, welcomed, and encouraged go to before God directly. No longer do we need a mediator, a rabbi, a go-between.

As His beloved sons and daughters, we are ushered directly into the presence of our Abba Father. Our harsh words, our love, our fears, our praise, our frustrations are spoken straight to Him.

I tend to take this for granted. And today I am especially grateful for it. I am once again blown away by the significance of a temple curtain, an Old Testament regulation, ripped to shreds. For you. For me.

Excuse me now as I, a Gentile woman, enter into The Most Holy Place.

<>< Katie

Habit

I have this bizarre habit that resulted in incessant mocking from my suitemates.  Actually, I have many bizarre habits and sometimes even breathing results in mockery.

However, this one happened every time I entered the apartment.  It didn't matter if I came from class, the caf, or the coffee shop.

The first thing I would do was put my keys on the hook.  We each had hooks by the door with our names on them, hypothetically, so we'd never lose our keys.

Then I'd go in my room, put down my heavy backpack, take off my shoes (and coat), and hit the power button on my computer.

It's what happened next that got me mocked relentlessly.

If someone had started a conversation with me in those first twenty seconds home, I put it on pause until this next step was complete.

I would go into the bathroom and wash my hands.

I knew I did it regularly, but I didn't realize I did it every time I came home until they pointed it out.

The habit is rooted deeply back to elementary school.  My sisters and I would get off the bus and almost immediately were ushered into the bathroom to wash off our school germs.

I have no doubt that this healthy though bizarre habit was why chicken pox started going around my kindergarten class in October but I didn't get it until May.  I'm sure it helped my six year no-puking record, too.

Just from being taught to wash off my school germs as soon as I got home.  And it has become a subconscious habit.

I've got some of the habits Mom and Dad taught us growing up, but I've also got to build my own habits.

I need to be intentional about spending time in God's word.  I need to be conscious of my prayer life.  I really wish I could say they were habits, but they aren't.  They're hard.

The alarm clock says, "Get up! Go! Go! Go!"  The lunch break is short; the boss demanding.  The course load difficult; the homework plenty.  The after school activities are many; the free time is rare.  The days is long, the body exhausted.

I've confessed to you all before that some days I grudgingly read my Bible.  Yet still God works through it.

Soap doesn't only wash off my school germs when I tell it to.  It kills 99.9% of them every time I wash (or so the commercial says).

God doesn't just speak to my heart when I want Him to, when I'm willing to hear what He has to say, or when I have the right attitude.  Of course, those things are beneficial, but they're not necessary.  Sometimes God still speaks when I'm crabby, tired, distracted, or just don't want to be there.

And that makes it worth building the habit.

<>< Katie

Hallelujah

A Chinese woman noticed the English Bible in Mike's hand.

She pointed to it and, with a huge smile on her face, pulled her Chinese Bible out of her purse. Mike smiled back, and the exchange ended. At least as far as I could see from my seat across the over-crowded public bus.

The bus only got hotter and more crowded as we approached our destination: a Chinese church meeting at a chicken plant because they spent thirty years fighting the government to regain their land that was seized.*

Our team and several Chinese people got off at the stop at the church's gate. This woman was thrilled!

She grabbed Juanita by the arm, looked directly in her eyes, and began to ramble in Chinese. Juanita didn't understand a word of it, but she understood this woman's joy.

The woman kept trying different phrases, willing Juanita to understand.

"Hallelujah," the Chinese woman said.  Juanita understood.

"Hallelujah!"

It's not identical in both languages, but it's a cognate. The two sisters could not converse with words, but they could worship together.

What more does one need?

Hallelujah,
<>< Katie

Note: Words like "Amen" and "Jesus" are also cognates. That's about all we understood of the service.

* Though it is significantly smaller and more out of the way than the original land, the Chinese government has given the church land along with monetary contributions (to make up for the rest of the acreage) and a promise to assist in the placement of a bus stop near church property. This fall, they hope to break ground to complete the 1,500-seat building by Christmas 2012.  The pastor of this church rotates between it and at least ten other local churches.

Foreigner

Hi friends!  I know I said I probably wouldn't blog here while I am in China... but I just can't help it.  God's been teaching me some cool things and I want to share them.  You can also keep up with Amber's and my adventure in China at: TheChinaAdventures.blogspot.com

Ephesians 2:19 has a whole new meaning now after being in China for a week and a half.  The verse says, "So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God" (ESV). 

I think I used to always interpret that as being rejected no more, being accepted into God's family.  But having spent a week and a half in an area of China where the only Americans we see are the six members of our own team, I know what it means to be a foreigner.

To be a foreigner means to be pointed at, stared at, and watched.  To struggle to communicate, to fumble with money, and question every item your chopsticks put into your mouth.

To be a member of the family means you have a bed, a place at the table, you understand the language, you eat the food, and you're included.  There's no longer a need to impress, on either side, because, congratulations, you're in!  The need to stare is gone because you're together as one family.

I will always be a foreigner in China but even here among my brothers and sisters in Christ, we are a family!  Amen.

<>< Katie

PS: This post was sent via email because blogs, like many other things, are blocked in China.  Any grave errors will be corrected upon my return to the States next week.

Blessing in Disguise

My friend Elizabeth was asked to lead an evening twenty-somethings Bible study at her church.  No one thought to give her a key to the church, and she didn't think to ask for it.

So, after dinner, we pulled up to church without a way to get inside.  Instead, we set up camp in the parking lot and began to study the Word of the Lord.

The evening was beautiful.  A light breeze, no humidity, and a beautiful sunset.  If we had had a key, we would have missed the beautiful day God created for us!  It was absolutely perfect for sitting outside.

While we were finishing up our study, the pastor drove up and offered to let us inside.  We were all pretty content with where we were.  Then he told us they were going to shoot off fireworks from the field next to the church in a few minutes.

If we had been inside, we would have missed the fireworks, the coolest end to Bible study ever.

Sometimes what's seen as a problem, such as a lack of a key, can really be a blessing in disguise.

Are you looking for blessings in disguise?

<>< Katie

Trust, Even in the Desert

Let's be honest for a minute: some days I don't want to read my Bible, don't want to pray, don't want to spend time with the Lord.

It was one of those days.  Even though I wasn't tired, I was ready to call it a night.  I just didn't feel like doing a devotion.

Grudgingly I threw my Bible on my bed and flipped to where I was reading in Nehemiah.  Chapter 9.  The same chapter the pastor used in his sermon on Sunday.  The same chapter we'd read in small group.  In two days I had gone from oblivious to practically an expert on Nehemiah 9; I didn't want to read it yet again.  I figured I'd skim it quickly and go to bed.  Wrong.

Here's what you need to know: my favorite Bible is held together by purple duct tape.  If you drop it, a tree of papers will fall out.  The margins notes are numerous.  It's in such rough shape that I rarely take it out of my room.  But it's in that Bible where all of my sermon notes have been transferred... since sixth grade.

I flipped to Nehemiah 9 and lo and behold sometime in the last ten years (excluding this past Sunday), I heard a sermon on Nehemiah 9.  It was at our student worship service a few years back.  It wasn't my favorite guest speaker and based on the date and when that would have fallen in the semester, I debated even going that night.  I'm glad I did.

In Nehemiah 9, the wall around Jerusalem has already been rebuilt.  The people have literally wept upon hearing (and understanding) the Law they have not kept.  Now they're confessing their sins and reminding God of how He's been faithful to them through the exodus, the desert, and into the promised land.

It's an exercise I have been encouraged to use myself.  Since we're being honest, post-college life is a bit (ok, a lot) like a desert.  My days are filled with job searching and rejections.  My support system in 900 miles away.  I have to constantly remind myself of God's faithfulness.  But, as He did not abandon the Israelites many thousand years ago, God has not abandoned me here.

Have I abandoned Him?  Not quite.  But some days I do my devotion grudgingly; I grit my teeth while praying.

The notes in my margins around Nehemiah 9 say:

How far ahead could they see?
1. Not very far due to the pillar
2. As far as they needed to see

"You're not ready for the Promised Land if you can't trust Him in the dessert."

Hum.

Nehemiah 9:21 says, "For forty years You sustained them in the desert; they lacked nothing, their clothes did not wear out nor did their feet become swollen."

I could make a list of things I lack here in the desert of unemployment.  But in Matthew 6, Jesus prays for daily bread not daily steak.  I have clothes sticking to on my back, I have a roof and ceiling fan over my head, and I have dinner on my plate.  It's definitely not ideal but it's satisfactory, at least for today.

And still, here I am annoyed that God said, "Not now" to graduate school, disappointed that my ideal job has not been dropped into my lap, and sad visiting my closest friends requires an airplane ticket.

How far ahead can I see?  Not very far.  But just far enough.  Not as far as I would like to see but just as far as God is willing to let me see... for now.  As difficult as it is to remember, He sees beyond the pillar.  He knows what comes next.  As I need to see it, He will reveal it to me.  Until then, will I trust Him in the desert?

God, I want to trust You in this desert.  But it's hard.  I am not ready for the Promised Land. Without Your grace and love, I will never be ready.  Prepare me for what lies ahead beyond my vision but not beyond Yours.  Let me focus on You and the pillar You have provided to lead me both by day and night.  I don't have to enjoy this desert, but I want to be found faithful through it.  Thank You for not abandoning me here.  I love You.  Amen.

<>< Katie

Sounding Totally Different

When I was in Costa Rica, we went for a hike on a mountain supposedly to see a beautiful sunset and volcanic eruption.  As we were climbing, we could hear this rumbling.

"Is that thunder?" We asked anxiously.

"No, that's the volcano's rumble.  They sound totally different," our guide replied in an accent that sounds British when I mock it.

Sheep are no strangers to the "totally different" sound.  They're relatively dumb animals but they have the amazing ability to recognize their shepherd's voice from a crowd, even after an extended period of time.

In John 10, Jesus calls His people sheep who recognize His voice, our Shepherd.

Can you hear the total difference in Christ's voice and the voice of others?  Sometimes it's easy to discern.  Other times it's like differentiating between a volcano rumble and thunder.

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.”  John 10:14-16

Our Costa Rican guide explained the volcano's rumble and thunder would vibrate on the ear differently.  I couldn't hear or feel the difference.  I have reason to doubt the guide knew the difference too.  When we were halfway up the mountains, the heavens opened. We were drenched through our underwear.  They sound totally different, eh?
 
You'd think Christ's voice is totally different from anything else we hear.  Unfortunately, that's not always the case.  Sometimes it is incredibly difficult to discern His voice.  I wish I had some tips for recognizing our Shepherd's voice, but it really depends on the situation.  However, I have learned that the more time I spend in the Word the more clear His voice is to me. 
 
I have this joke-goal of being able to recognize my entire campus by voice, so I don't have to awkwardly venture in the living room when someone comes to visit.  I want to know who's here without leaving my desk.  Well, I can't do the whole campus, but I do recognize my suitemates by voice (and other things like how they close the door, where they drop their keys, and how heavily they step).  I recognize other frequent visitors by their knocks and noises. 

The more time you spend with someone, the easier to recognize his/her voice and behavior patterns.  The same is true for God.  The more time you spend with Him, the easier it is to recognize His will. 
 
Is it consistent with the God-character shown in the Bible?
Is it totally crazy?  (That usually means it's God...)
Is it confirmed through other believers?
Is it constantly on your heart/ mind?

What other tips/questions do you have for differentiating when the voices aren't totally different? 

Learning to differentiate,
<>< Katie

Life Box

One of my friend's art expressions class had to fill a box with items to represent them.  Any kind of box/container was accepted.  One student used a guitar case; my friend used a shoe box.  The then had to present the items in their box, explaining its representation, and talking about themselves for ten minutes.

In telling us about this project, I asked my friend what she put in her box.

"A guitar pick because I'm learning guitar.  A flip flop because I'm from the beach.  Pictures of my family and my best friends.  A puzzle piece because I love puzzles.  My favorite scarf because fashion is really important to me..."

She went on for a long time trying to remember all of the items in her box.

"Oh, and I put in a Book of Common Prayer because I couldn't put in a Bible," she said.

"Why couldn't you put in a Bible?"  I figured maybe it was a class rule.

"It didn't fit."

I continued to listen patiently but inside my heart was breaking.  We all pack our life box and realize God doesn't "fit" into the plan we've created.  We take everything out, rearrange a little bit, and realize everything's not going to fit.  Some thing's going to have to go.  But what?  We're attached to everything.  Letting go of anything is a painful part of life.  But, unfortunately, it's necessary.  Sometimes God asks us to say good bye to hobbies, relationships, locations, traditions...

The question is: are you building your life box around Him or are you trying to fit Him in at the last second?

<>< Katie
PS: What would you put in your life box?
Mine: my Bible, my iPod (we'll pretend I have a working one), my Writer's Notebook, my purple Nalgene, my phone, some hand sanitizer (of course), lotion, the ring and cross necklace I wear daily, a glassblown cup, a scrapbook, and my passport (for journeys past and present), and a book to read all in a Louis M. Martini wine box to represent my cultural heritage.

Do Good

Do Good
Good works don't save you.  But when you are saved, you do good works.

Do It Well
Every night when I was in Guatemala, Neal encouraged us with very similar words.
"What we're doing here is God's work.  That means we are to do it to the best of our ability.  Yes, we get tired.  Yes, it's tedious.  But we need to continue.  It's not a race.  Do the best you can, even if that means going slowly."

Do It Quietly
Boast in the Lord, not in yourself.  If you tell the story, make sure you give credit where credit is due.  Don't twist it around.  It's His story.  Not ours.

Do it for Christ
Most important.

Ephesians 2:8-10
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Grace and peace, friends,
<>< Katie

Hypocrite

Nikki asked me to write a very transparent short piece about on campus interactions with non-Christians.  She wanted me to write those things that I'd never say out loud to anyone.  A bunch of us had similar assignments that would be recorded as sound clips over videos of campus.

As I pondered this assignment, I was immediately drawn to the Great Divide that is the cafeteria salad bar.  Our school has a long-standing joke that the salad bar divides the campus: Christian, non-athletes on one side; non-Christian, athletes on the other.  Of course, there are exceptions, but this is the stereotype.

Sometimes I forget there are non-Christians here, too.  But then I walk on the wrong side of the salad bar to get some yogurt. Instantly I feel judged and unwelcome.  Like I'm supposed to be perfect because I love Jesus.  I'm supposed to always love, always care, and always be willing to help. 

"I'm not perfect," I want to shout.  Like that's an excuse.  An excuse to exhibit un-Christ-like behavior.  An excuse to be inconsiderate.  An excuse to judge.

It's not them, it's me who's doing the judging.  I shoot evil glares when I see someone struggling in class.  I avoid non-Christians like they have some kind of contagious disease I'm going to catch just from looking them in the eye.

Some of my close family members aren't Christians; they're not poisonous.  I hug, love, and serve them.  Why can't I do the same for my peers?

The night the video played and my northern accent ran through the full auditorium I realized that we divide ourselves even there at worship.  I had accidentally chosen a seat behind four boys who... well, aren't from my side of the salad bar.

They sat an empty seat between each of them so that their legs in athletic shorts or sweatpants could be spread apart.  They were so buff they could have swallowed me whole if they had wanted to. 

The head of the man right in front of me blocked my view of the speaker.  The speaker who looks like the stereotypical Jesus and has my same haircut.  Instead of marveling at these things, I was stuck staring at this guy's backwards baseball cap with our mascot on it.  Our mascot that looks like he's sharting.

He wasn't the only one.  Someone near me, potentially one of the four athletes who could swallow me whole, let one rip.  I didn't hear it.  I just smelled it.  Check your shorts, dude!

My dad's the king of SBDs.  I grew up surrounded by rancid rear-end smells.  If I have to breathe in through my mouth, it's bad!  It was bad!

"Some of my family members are not Christians.  I hug, love, and serve them.  Why can't I do the same for my peers?"

You hypocrite!

For the next hour I watched Mr. Swallow Me Whole.  He had his Bible with him.  After flipping to the scripture passage for the night, he handed it to his friend two seats over.  Then he pulled out his "assorted electronic device" and read along with the Jesus-twin speaker.  He removed his hat when we prayed.  He pulled the "Statue of Liberty" and sang along.  He even gave an "Amen!"

You hypocrite!

You talk about destroying the salad bar divide and you build a brick wall between you and the seat in front of you!  All because you're scared.  Scared that such a large man might have a heart for Christ.  Scared that your brother might swallow you whole.  Scared that God hears both of your prayers.  Katie, that's ridiculous.

Mr. Swallow Me Whole, it was a joy to worship behind you last week.  Thank you for not biting off my head when I realized I was a hypocrite.  Let's do it again sometime.  But maybe I'll bring some air freshener.

<>< Katie

What have you read?

As I was running late to class, Amber sent me a text message.  "What have you read today?  It's for a class."

I left her a long, rambling voicemail that went something like this,

"I read a chapter in Lipstick in Afghanistan, a handout for class, fifty pages in a textbook, blogs, a letter of recommendation that waived my right to see but the professor gave me anyway, emails, facebook updates, um... the caf menu... um... I haven't read my Bible yet but will before the day's over."

It was 3:00 in the afternoon.  I'd gone to three classes, eaten breakfast and lunch, submitted my last graduate school application, played badminton, harassed Evan about his bland office, and five minutes earlier I had single-handedly kept my suitemate conscious.  (Unfortunately, "Saving lives and getting to class on time" could become a blog series... she's much better now but it was a scary afternoon).  It had been a busy day.  But I hadn't spent any time in the Word.

As I write this, it's 11:30pm.  Guess what I still haven't done today?

Yeah, that nearly-completed blog-post is going to have to wait until tomorrow.  I've got an important appointment to fulfill a promise.  Actually, two promises.  One to Amber and one to the Lord.

There are days when getting into the Word is the last thing on the to-do list and prayer seems like a waste of time.  I have a lot of those days, I'll be honest.

But I'm slowly learning to push through.  I try to read the Bible even though I'd rather be reading be reading a fiction novel. I try to pray even though I'd rather be in conversation with my (not dying) suitemates.

To an extent, that's normal.  There is a fine line between establishing a healthy habit, persisting even when you're "not feeling it" and going through the motions.  Find that line.  Persevere.  Even if it feels a little insincere.

"What we call insincerity, God calls obedience." - Jonathan Martin  "Sometimes God's doing the most profound changing in your life when you don't feel His presence but you keep showing up."

Keep showing up.  Even when it's hard.

Ok, for real now.  "Today" has become "yesterday" and the book of Exodus still calls. 

Friends, what have you read today?

<>< Katie

Rediscovering a Favorite

Romans used to be my favorite book of the Bible.  Then I tried to teach it.  All.  In one semester.

Ever since then, I've kind of been scared of it.  Like my small group girls were going to leap out of the pages and call me a failure.

I've read Romans because I had to, but all in all I've tried to steer clear of it.

The other night, a verse popped into my head,

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2 NIV

I wanted to investigate something, so I reached for my Bible and flipped to Romans 12.  I started reading and nothing looked familiar.  Maybe I had the reference wrong?

No, I was reading the Message.  And I was loving it!  Words, phrases, and ideas I'd grazed over a million times were hitting me in a new way.  It was so powerful!

I read the chapter all the way through and immediately returned to verse one to read it again.  Words bounced off the page and into my heart.

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." - Romans 12:1-2 MSG

I know it didn't have anything to do with Eugene Peterson or the MSG, but it had everything to do with the Holy Spirit.  He used something different to get my attention.

And I liked it.  A lot.

TSD- Try Something Different

Excuse me, I have more passages to rediscover.

<>< Katie

"And Then I Found Five Dollars"

Since I've been home, I've told a lot of stories around our dinner table. When I finally pause to breathe at the end of each story, Christina has looked at me and said, "And then did you find five dollars?"

Every time she's said it, I've boiled with anger and frustration.  The desire to rip off her head has increased with every smart alec comment that could be translated to, "That pointless story was a waste of my time."

I think that may be why Max Lucado's A Love Worth Giving has resonated so well with me, the queen of pointless stories.

In the chapter "Your Kindness Quotient," Max talks about Christ wanting to hear your story.  The example used is the woman with the bleeding problem whose story is found sandwiched in Mark 5. 

Basically she's been sick for years and years.  She was out of money, and everyone told her to be out of hope.  But she wasn't.  She had the faith to believe Jesus could heal her, so she went to find Him.

Of course, He was busy.  The daughter of a city leader (Jairus) was dying, and Jesus was on His way to perform a miraculous healing.  This woman didn't want to take up Jesus's time, so she slid behind Him in the crowd and touched the hem of His robe. 

Instantly she was healed and ready to go on her way.  Jesus wasn't going to let her get off that easily.

"Who touched me?"  He demanded.

Can you imagine the disciples' response?  "We're in the middle of a crowd and You wonder who touched You?  A million people!  That guy there, this woman over here, but I was the one who stepped on Your foot.  Sorry.  Come on; let's go!"

Christ was adamant, and the woman timidly came forward.  If it was me, I'd be ashamed of the ruckus I'd caused.  Maybe she was, but she was also healed.

Max writes, "A girl was dying, people were pressing, the disciples were questioning, but Jesus... Jesus was listening.  Listening to the whole story.  He didn't have to.  The healing would have been enough.  Enough for her.  Enough for the crowd.  But not enough for Him.  Jesus wanted to do more than heal her body.  He wanted to hear her story--all of it.  The whole story" (26).

It blows my mind that we have a Savior who is willing to hear every story we tell.  He's not even disappointed when they're long and pointless.  He'll never ask if we found five dollars.  If the story is important to us, it is important to Him.

I saw a prime example of this years ago at a concert meet and greet crowd.  A little girl came up and cut me in the blob of a line.  Of course, at the time I was annoyed but years later I'm glad to have witnessed such a beautiful moment.

The artist, Peder Eide, leaned over to be at her height, put his arm around her, and held his head next to hers in order to hear her over the crowd.  I couldn't hear what she was saying, but I knew it was intense because every once in a while Peder would draw back to make eye contact with her.  As her story drew to a close, he started gently asking her questions.  The crowd pressing for his attention no longer mattered; he wanted to know more about this little girl.

When she was done and he was done asking questions, Peder looked her in the eye and said, "Thank you for telling me that.  I'll be praying for you."

Christ's waiting for you to tell Him the whole story.  The crowd of people lobbying for His attention vanishes when He's got His arm around you listening to your story.  He's willing to sit there and talk with you for as long as you want.  He'll stay until your story is complete, even if it's long and boring.  He'll ask questions and carefully listen to the answers.  When you're done, He'll say, "Thank you for telling Me that.  I'm sure it wasn't easy."

Sit and talk.  Let Him be your Audience of One.

The non-monetary amount you find will be worth a whole lot more than five dollars.
<>< Katie

A Year in Review: Books Style

I started 2009 with a goal of reading 13 books, one a month and one more.  Since books for class don't count and I took three literature classes in 2009, that was a feasible goal.  I read 14.  So my goal this year was 17, and I hit 22.  I think that means in 2011 I have to read 25...

1. Five Love Languages: Singles Edition by Gary Chapman

2. The Condition by Jennifer Haigh

3. June Bug by Chris Farby

My thoughts on books 4-9 and some more can be found here

4. In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez
A must-read if you like historical fiction and/or Latina America.

5. The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Historical fiction set in the Jackson, Mississippi, during the Civil Rights Era

6. The Wednesday Letters by Jason Wright
Laura, my dyslexic sister, devoured this book.

7. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Houssini
Christina, my other dyslexic sister, is eager to read this book.  It's a must read if you like historical fiction and Afghanistan.

8. Invisible I by Stella Lennon
Part of The Amanda Project

9. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
My boss asked me to read this book.  I never would have done it on my own, but I enjoyed it!

10. Unspoken Lies by Darrien Lee
I went to Barnes & Noble looking for a short book and bought this one just because it fit that description.  Honestly, the only reason I kept reading this book was because I liked the exposition.  I was not impressed with the dialogue, storyline or ending.  The whole story revolved around the characters having affairs and getting away with it, and the ending seemed like a cop out.  I don't recommend it, sorry.

11. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
I read this book as a writer and it was good.  I would love to go back and read it again, this time just as a person.  My roommates and I have embraced his idea of filling life with memorable moments.  Our first Memorable Moment was putting birthday candles in Amy and Melia's chicken breast instead of in their cake.  I do recommend this book but take your time reading it.  Let everything sink in before you move on to the next chapter.

12. Fearless by Max Lucado
I didn't realize how much control fear has in my life until I read his book on how to get rid of it.  I love all Max Lucado books, but this is definitely one of my favorites.  If you're going to try Max for just one book, pick this one.

13. Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman
I was promised I would love this book.  And I did.  It did take me awhile to get into it, though, because I was coming off a long stretch of historical fiction books.  All of my other thoughts about it are in a Writer's Notebook at school, sorry.

14. A Novel Idea
A writing book I highly recommend if you're interested in writing Christian fiction.  I took notes.

15. "Unveiled," "Unashamed," and "Unshaken" part of A Lineage of Grace by Francine Rivers
They are three fictional short stories looked at the lives of nonfictional Tamar, Rahab, and Ruth.  Francine Rivers brings Bible characters to life in a way I've never experienced before.  I had a hard time getting into these stories at first, but I was disappointed I couldn't finish the book (I borrowed it and had to return it).  Although, if you're going to read Francine Rivers you have to read Redeeming Love.

16, 17. Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Books two and three in The Hunger Games series.  When I read the first book, I criticized Collins for dragging the story out through three books rather than just ending it.  Maybe it's just my dislike for sequels.  I still understand why I argued that, but I'm glad she didn't ask my opinion before writing books two and three.  The books are considered young adult fiction, but I've heard of a lot of adults thoroughly enjoying them.  Elizabeth and Andy kept pestering me to read and finish them so we could all talk about them.  Catching Fire I read in one weekend, but Mockingjay I spread out over months just because it was that time in the semester.  They're not hard reads, and Mrs. Mary says her seventh graders are devouring them.  Maybe a good book for a middle schooler to read with a parent.

18. Cast of Characters by Max Lucado
This is kind of like Lineage of Grace in that it takes Bible characters and focuses in on their lives.  The way Max (can you call the author by his first name when you've read 15 of his books?) brings the characters to life forced me to think about them in ways that had never crossed my mind before.  It's also a devotional so you can see trends between their lives then and ours today.  Are they really that much different?

19. One Foot in Eden by Ron Rash
I love Ron Rash.  I'm a little biased because I've met him twice but that's besides the point.  I prefer Serena, but I enjoyed One Foot in Eden, too.  It doesn't have the "typical Rash body count" (Rash); only a handful of (creative) deaths.  Every section is written from a different character's POV and in their voice.  I liked the overlap, hearing the same story told in two different points of view.  If I wrote it, I would have ended it one section sooner.  Actually, if I get to meet Rash again, I want to ask why he did it the way he did.

20. Grace: For Those Who Think They Don't Measure Up by Bob Lenz
Another author I've heard speak many times.  Bob writes just like he talks which was a bit of a deterrent for me since I am a writer.  The tangents he takes in real life work well.  The same principle doesn't work as well in writing.  I started reading this book years ago and just now finally finished it because I'm not his target audience.  It is a great book for youth struggling with the ideas of grace and faith.  Not so great for a 20-something confident in her faith.

21. Flight
Not a published book yet but when it does become published you can say I told you about it.  One of my friends send me the novel of another friend and asked for my feedback.  I enjoyed it, I learned from it, and I gave constructive criticism.  I look forward to seeing it on a shelf in Barnes & Noble one day.

22. The Bible
For the second year in a row I did a "Read the Bible in a year" thing.  If you've never read the Bible in a year (or ever), I recommend using this one.  It's challenging but doable.  For me, I wasn't very diligent about getting into the Word but this helped a lot.  I did spend a lot of time behind but (unless something changes in the next two days) I'm finishing on time.  I don't know if I'm going to do it again in 2011 just because after two years it's kind of assignment-like rather than a desire to seek Him.  We'll see if I can dig in without the accountability...

What have you all been reading lately?

I'm ringing in 2011 with a moving bookmark in A Love With Giving (Max Lucado) and How the Garcia Girls Lost the Accents (Julia Alvarez).  What else should I add to my list?

<>< Katie

Jesus Does the Dishes

On Saturday I was doing my devotion when I ran across this verse,

"Blind Pharisee!  First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside will be clean." (Matthew 23:26)

That's our Savior who's not making much sense.  Big surprise, right?

I thought about the passage briefly before concluding I will continue to wash both the inside and the outside of my dishes.

They are really talking about dishes.  Or are they?

The previous verse says,

"You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence" (Matthew 23:25b).

What if they aren't really talking about dishes?  What if Jesus is calling us to be the cup and the dish?

All too often we try to change our outwards appearance.  Put on some make-up.  Pick a different shirt.  Act more kindly to that person.  Serve this person.  Surely that makes us a better Christian, right?

According to what Jesus said right here, wrong.

We can do all of the "nice things" on the outside and make us look like good Christians but until our heart is changed it's all futile.  I do not believing having your heart changed is a one-time deal.  Boom you're done and you know everything there is to know.  No.

Having your heart changed is a lifetime process.  Rid yourself of some greed here.  Pride there.  Put in some joy take out some hatred.  A process.  Just like washing dishes.  And just like washing dishes, as soon as you think you're done, you find one more.  One more problem area that needs to be dealt with.  One more outburst of anger you weren't expecting.  One more nudge from Christ saying, "Hey, you forgot about this.  That's not of me."

What I believe Jesus is saying in the verse is if He changes your heart, if He cleans your inside, your outsides will follow.  Change in the inside, the desire, and the outside, the action, will change too.

It makes me think of the song, "Change me from the inside out, Lord."

Feel free to join me in making this your prayer for today.

Change me from the inside out, Lord.

<>< Katie

"Are there any prayer praises?"

It seems all of the long-term prayer requests in our Sunday school group had changes for the worse this week.  The eleven year old fighting adult cancer lost her battle.  The two year old they thought was finally on the uphill slope was given less than a year to live.  A discouraged soldier.  Continued pain for several younger women with chronic illnesses.  More relationship problems from a daughter.

"Feel free to share praises, guys," Matt said.

On cue, the door opened and in walked a young family.  Husband and wife with their newborn.  She was still pregnant when I came back to school a month ago.  We pulled out extra chairs for them and they got to sit front row center.  The father reached over, grabbed the leg of his wife's chair, pulled it closer to himself, and put his arm around her.  I had this sudden overwhelming urge to be that woman.  Someday.

We added this family to our list of praises.  The general energy of the room lifted upon seeing their tired faces.  We began to thank God.  We had to do some searching, but we found reasons to be thankful.

What are you thankful for today?  Don't be upset if you have to search.  Were you healthy enough to get out of bed?  Do you have internet access to read this?  A roof over your head?  Food to eat?  Clothes on your back?

Even if you say "no" to all of those things, you can say "yes" to this: you have a God who loves you.  Let that be what you are thankful for today.  It is enough because His grace is enough.

With love,
<>< Katie

Story

Have I ever told you that I love to tell stories?  I really love to tell stories.  A lot.  Find me a good story, and I'll retell it a million times.  It's safe to say they play an important role in my life.  I find it hard to believe I'm the only one like this.  Let's face it, stories play important roles in our lives. 

My professor Brandon once said, "Stories are the webs that entangle all of us."  Stories are so important, even Jesus used them to teach.  The world communicates through stories.

Pastor Seth asked us a phenomenal question the other day when he said, "We are all storytellers.  Are we living and making stories that are worth telling?"

Donald Miller has an entire book on this entitled A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.  Max Lucado addresses this when he talks about how God not only knows your story but He wrote it.

And here's a secret: even though you are the main character in your story, it is not about you.  Look it up; check the Bible.  All stories, even your own life story, is about Jesus Christ.

Jeffrey Meinz does a great job of telling Jesus' lifestory in six minutes.  The video quality isn't great, especially for the first 25 seconds, but it gets better.  The very end gives you a nice shot of how many people where there.  You should play Where's Waldo, and see if you can find me.

But seriously, friends, is the story you're living worth telling?

<>< Katie